Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 16, 2012 11:45:48 GMT -5
So, sort of in line with Rukh's thread on "afterlife" I have a more basic question.
Do you think you're a good person, why or why not? If you think you're good or bad, how good or bad do you think you are?
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Tired Tess
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I'm so ready to wrap it up.
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Post by Tired Tess on Dec 16, 2012 11:47:29 GMT -5
Well, I guess like so many others, I could be better.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 11:53:33 GMT -5
By my own standards, I'm the best person on the planet.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 16, 2012 11:54:05 GMT -5
This is kind of a tough question for me. Based on my religiouos beliefs, I don't think anyone is a "good person" in the eyes of a higher power, but that's not the point of this thread.
Based on what other people would think, that's also hard to say. I'm a good person in the sense I don't really cause pain and misery (at least as far as I know). I don't smack around children, women, or animals, I don't steal, and certainly have never caused and major physical harm to anyone. I'm pretty responsible. I don't cause harm on a society level either. I pay my bills on time, I pay my taxes on time, I'm not a drain on society.
I'm not emotionally abusive either (as far as I can tell). I generally treat people with respect and I'm polite to everyone. Even when I get mad at someone I don't raise my voice and call them names.
However, if you define "good person" as being charitable, then I fall short. I'm not big on charity. I never feel like donating money because most charities just hassle you for more, and I feel like I have bigger priorities for my money (like paying for school). I'm also not big on donating time because I work full time and go to graduate school part time and I don't really have the time to donate.
So am I good person? I guess good enough. I don't think I add much to the world but don't detract much from it either.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 16, 2012 11:59:35 GMT -5
Define 'good'. I'm not a good Catholic - raised that way but an atheist (my religious ephiphany was that some people actually BELIEVED the religious stuff! not that I didn't believe). I'm not a particularly good friend - I forget birthdays and anniversaries and I don't always remember to do all those little 'nicey-nice' things that people do for others. I'm not a particularly good Little Sister - I'd leave a drunk relative to sleep it off under a tree - well, after I kicked them alittle to see if they were still alive. I'm not a particularly good employee either - I'm 'lazy' so while I do my job and get things done correctly I hate having to do the 'unnecessary' to me stuff - like pre meeting meetings, or busy work kinda stuff. I also steal little packets of artificial sweetner and the little creamer cups (10 packets/10 little creamer cups so far for 2012) for use at home for guests from the free stuff provided at work. I don't use these things normally. I wasn't a particularly good daughter either - my mother and I were like oil and water. We just didn't communicate very well. I'm not a very good pet owner either - sometimes I aggravate my cats by wanting to 'hug and kisss' them when they want to sleep. On the personal morality scale - I'm not particularly "Lawful Good" more in the "Nuetral Good" range... My worlds more shades of gray than stark black and white.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 16, 2012 12:13:49 GMT -5
If I had to use one criteria for defining a 'good person' - it would be someone who consistently resists the urge to make other people's lives a living hell. By 'living hell', I mean someone who's actions and behaviors are directly driven by a desire to out do/show up/make pay/'show them'/'teach a lesson to' another person. Basically, anytime someone acts on the need to reciprocate some 'pain' they've got back onto someone else they aren't being a particularly 'good person'. So, being in an angry mood and then lashing out at the cashier who screws up your order for instance.
I think a 'good person' is mindful of their actions - even when they fail to do the 'good' behavior/thing. I think a 'good person' consistently strives to make themselves 'a better person' - that's comes with the mindfulness thing. There's introspection involved with this as well. I can't quite find a succinct sentence to sum this up.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Dec 16, 2012 12:15:39 GMT -5
I'd like to think I am. funny you post this now, I was talking about this with a very good friend this week. I hope this makes sense in the short form, we talked for a good hour or so about this and other things. for me, it is not that I am living my life so much "by the judgments of others" but more that I would be bothered by my own conduct if someone thought poorly of me. the distinction being that I would want to live my life such that others would consider me to be a good person. I know that some of the things I do are not going to make some people happy (like the fact that I do not attend services at the church I was raised in, for example) but I have to recognize that I cannot make everyone happy. if I try, I will make myself crazy. does that make any sort of sense?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 16, 2012 12:16:41 GMT -5
No.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Dec 16, 2012 12:21:06 GMT -5
Based on what other people would think, that's also hard to say. I'm a good person in the sense I don't really cause pain and misery (at least as far as I know). I don't smack around children, women, or animals, I don't steal, and certainly have never caused and major physical harm to anyone. I'm pretty responsible. I don't cause harm on a society level either. I pay my bills on time, I pay my taxes on time, I'm not a drain on society. ------------- I had an interesting talk with a visiting rabbi at the hospital one time. He related a parable about a man trying to get into heaven, and pleading his case, by saying things much like the above. The angel at the gates said "All that proves is that you're not a BAD person. It doesn't make you a GOOD person." It stuck with me and I never forgot it. Evidently, to be a good person, you have to go out of your way to be good....taking that extra step. Making that extra effort.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 16, 2012 12:24:37 GMT -5
I think I'm usually a pretty good person. I do have my bad moments, but not that often. I care about most other people and try to avoid hurting anyone on purpose. I try to be friendly and honest in my interactions. And I rescue turtles who have made their way into the road. And I guess on some level, I believe in paying it forward. On my way home Friday night I saw a car broken down about a mile from my house. I stopped to see if the occupants needed help. Later I thought how easy it would've been for someone to club me over the head and throw me in the trunk - it was dark and we were in a very deserted area. But it was just two teenagers with a flat tire, and they were SO happy that someone had stopped (they knew how to change it, but didn't have a flashlight). I was happy to be able to help them, since I've been the one stranded on the side of the road before, and some kind citizen has always come to my aid.
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Dec 16, 2012 12:28:21 GMT -5
I think I need to do better on many things.
I think I live life on a more emotional level than logic maybe? I think that sometimes hurts me.
I want to be a good person. I think there are times that I think I am a good person, but it's possible most people don't think that.
Here...I think I am the 'trash' of everyone. While everyone here I think is like a member of the royal family. I feel the same way about certain people in RL too. NOT because anyone has said or done anything here. In RL there are lots of people who have said things that make me feel that way.
I don't know if that makes any sense though. Most days I am ok with people thinking or well, not thinking of me. I don't like too much attention.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 16, 2012 12:28:36 GMT -5
You're a better person than I am. When it rains I go and gather the worms and feed them to our two fish
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 16, 2012 12:42:08 GMT -5
"And I rescue turtles who have made their way into the road."
Me too. Worms get moved off drying pavement and indoor spiders get caught and moved outside.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 16, 2012 12:44:06 GMT -5
Based on what other people would think, that's also hard to say. I'm a good person in the sense I don't really cause pain and misery (at least as far as I know). I don't smack around children, women, or animals, I don't steal, and certainly have never caused and major physical harm to anyone. I'm pretty responsible. I don't cause harm on a society level either. I pay my bills on time, I pay my taxes on time, I'm not a drain on society. ------------- I had an interesting talk with a visiting rabbi at the hospital one time. He related a parable about a man trying to get into heaven, and pleading his case, by saying things much like the above. The angel at the gates said "All that proves is that you're not a BAD person. It doesn't make you a GOOD person." It stuck with me and I never forgot it. Evidently, to be a good person, you have to go out of your way to be good....taking that extra step. Making that extra effort. That makes sense. There may be a difference between not being a bad person and being a good person. But just like the middle class, the definition is hard to pin down.
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Jake 48
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keeping the faith
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Post by Jake 48 on Dec 16, 2012 13:22:25 GMT -5
most days I can look at myself in the mirrior
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 13:30:05 GMT -5
always room for improvement
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 13:30:10 GMT -5
I work on thinking I'm worthwhile. And improving. Depressing but true.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Dec 16, 2012 13:38:45 GMT -5
"And I rescue turtles who have made their way into the road." Me too. Worms get moved off drying pavement and indoor spiders get caught and moved outside. nope, spiders are squished on sight. especially the creepy green ones. I guess I'm not a good person after all.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 13:41:52 GMT -5
most days I can look at myself in the mirrior X 2 I can sleep at night and walk around with my head held high. But if you compare me to some folks I know I would be considered the devil himself.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 16, 2012 14:38:42 GMT -5
I dunno. I try to be nice. I volunteer, donate to charity, I'm kind to animals and kids. However, my dislike of stupid people gets in my way of always being a good person. Oh, and that snark and sarcasm rears its ugly head on occasion.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 16, 2012 14:41:43 GMT -5
I don't do any of those first things, but all of those in the second half of that sentence.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 16:01:56 GMT -5
I don't want to hijack this thread but Phoenix, have you ever heard of Kiva? It's a charitable organization where you LEND (not give) $25 to a small entrepreneur somewhere in the world. You choose male or female, who, where, for what reason, etc. Because it's a loan, you get paid back. Then, IF you want you can reloan the money to somebody else. You can also sign on any time and make a new loan. Every loan is in $25 increments (they ask if you'd like to donate 10% to their operating costs but you can opt out if you want.) You can also withdraw your loan when it's paid back.
We are HUGE Kiva fans. One reason is that they will NEVER send you an expensive glossy brochure telling you how important your charitable donations are. That just irks the heck out of me, and is the main reason we rarely donate money anymore to other, more famous charities.
It is truly the "gift that keeps on giving" LOL.
Sorry for the hijack!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 16:09:57 GMT -5
Thanks Lone!
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Dec 16, 2012 17:13:15 GMT -5
Laughing! Thyme you crack me up! ;D HA! well I know I'm a good person / guy! I'm told I'm a good guy all the time! ;D
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 16, 2012 17:16:09 GMT -5
"And I rescue turtles who have made their way into the road." Me too. Worms get moved off drying pavement and indoor spiders get caught and moved outside. Me too! But I like them better than some people. I strive for "good" but I'm still a work in progress.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 16, 2012 17:39:15 GMT -5
"And I rescue turtles who have made their way into the road." Me too. Worms get moved off drying pavement and indoor spiders get caught and moved outside. nope, spiders are squished on sight. especially the creepy green ones. I guess I'm not a good person after all. Spiders are possibly reincarnated souls.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Dec 16, 2012 18:48:00 GMT -5
Yes I'm a genuinely "nice", "sickeningly sweet", "caring", "thoughtful", etc person. I try to help when I can, I give to a select few charities (both are children's charities--Doernbechers Children's Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House). Animals adore me, even the mean ones (although they almost all like my son even more--it's like he's a magnet for them). It's annoying and tiring and sucks sometimes, but it's just who I am. I've *had* to be mean a few times, and, while I can do it, it makes me feel horrible. ETA: I have gotten better at calling people out though, but I'm still much nicer about how I do it than I'd like to be.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 16, 2012 18:51:10 GMT -5
Nope. And I mean that pretty seriously. I was a horrible wife in my first marriage. I refuse to get along with my mother --though I'm not sure it's possible even if I tried. I, like swamp, cannot stand stupid people. (I don't mean those who are truly mentally disabled.) I'm not always nice to my kids, but that's because I don't believe I'm supposed to be their friends. I've had more than a few one-toe-over-the-line not nice mommy moments though, and for those I'm truly ashamed. I'm not good at giving to charity because I'm not good at parting with my money. I'm much better of a person now in my 30s than I was in my 20s.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 16, 2012 18:56:46 GMT -5
Hmm...I think I am a good person who has done some things that weren't so good...in other words, I'm human
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 16, 2012 19:01:24 GMT -5
I don't know......
When I hear that someone in trouble, my first inclination is to help. But!!! I can't do it without strings attached. When my stupid, no-good SIL and BIL didn't have a car, I foolishly let them borrow mine, but I was pissed beyond belief when 1) I didn't get a proper "thank you" and 2) I saw them buying stupid shit instead of saving and buying their own car.
I try to do the right thing all the time, but sometimes when no one is watching, I take an easy way out.
And I don't wish EVERYONE only good things. If I don't like someone, I might not necessarily wish them bad, but I don't wish them good either.
So, I don't know....
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