(NEW) SMART SPENDING CHAT THREAD

[marvholly]

The other me
Do any of the stores in your parents area do free/cheap delivery - anything like Peapod? That could solve the both of you on trips and/or bad weather when roads are bad shopping issues. Do the drug stores deliver? Could they get some groceries/personal care stuff delivered from a place like Walgreens with their Rx?

Seems like your folks place is different from what my Dad had. His included all meals and weekly housekeeping.

We are, too, forecast for about a week of 90 + humid. It is going to be a LOT of salads & eating out of the freezer. I may BBQ but I suspect it will be too miserable to even go out into the yard. In a pinch I will use the crockpot or toaster oven. My new a/c is not scheduled to be installed until at least the 29th.

[TheOtherMe]

It's a town of about 10,000 people.  Grocery stores do not deliver.  The drug plan they are on until December 31 is in Dubuque, so we will have to pick up prescriptions for them.  They will be switching to a plan in town.  There are two drug stores that deliver there.  They will also be switching Medicare Advantage plans to a local one that is much better coverage than the one they have now and includes all the local doctors.

The assisted living floor includes meals and housekeeping.  There are three levels of care--all levels of care are very expensive and they would never have moved if they were going there.

DNiece called and said they  decided on the spur of the moment to all go out to eat tonight so I did join them. Then grandpa's "honey" accepted my DS's invitation to go out to the farm for a bit.  Mom had an excuse for all kinds of reasons why they couldn't go, but DS had a comeback for everyone.  About the time Mom really wanted to go home, GNiece was melting down and ready for bed.  DN took mom and dad home.  

DS told Dad if he isn't going to take the shuttle then he needs to keep the car.  I told her after he left, he has no business driving the car and they shouldn't keep it.  He does need to learn to take the shuttle.  DS is really not wanting to make a commitment to helping them during the school year.  I'm getting irritated about that.  It shouldn't all be up to me just because I'm mostly retired.  She is the executor of the will and will get an executor fee before I see anything.  She can help now when they are alive.  

Dad told DNiece that she picked him out a really nice cardiologist.  

So I am taking them to lunch tomorrow.  DS implied she didn't want to on Sunday, but I didn't offer.  I am not doing both days.  She said she wants a regular schedule and I told her I will take Saturday because they go to church on Sunday.  She had excuses about why she didn't like that.  I am not doing both weekend days and visiting every Thursday also.

[marvholly]

theotherme
STAND YOUR GROUND NOW!!! It is only going to get worse (time commitments) as your parents age & care needs more oversight & spending time doing stuff for them.

Make YOUR plan, ie I am available x day & y day. Keep FIRMLY to it unless there is a REAL emergency (call from the police, EMTs or hospital).

Also, I would check but I believe if the move was enough miles the Rx & medigap policies CAN be changed now - esp if staying w/the same provider (United Health Care, BCBS, Aetna....) just change in location of services.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I agree, set firm and healthy boundaries and stand your ground!

No kittens adopted yesterday at Petco.
Two kitties adopted today at Petco.

We've got hot weather coming ... next weekend it looks like we'll have at least 4-5 straight days of 104-108. Can I say yuck?

My tomato crop is going like gangbusters and I've been sharing with neighbors.

We're still waiting for the military bureaucracy to get my wonderful DH's various pay issues resolved.

[motherto2]

Evening all!  Sorry it's been a while.  Been really busy at work, and seem to have something to do every evening after work.  Just caught up on everything you all have been up to.

First, Holly sorry I  missed your birthday.  Hope you had a good one .  Glad you got to see your new grandbaby,.  Give her hugs from all of her "Aunties" here!

Theo - you absolutely are doing the right thing in setting specific days.  I had a feeling that the reason your DS was getting upset at you for not calling the folks every day was because she didn't want to take on that responsibility.  The more I read, the more I clearly it became.  They didn't have the two of you at their beck and call every day until a couple of weeks ago.  I think they will do just fine.  It takes time.  They will get out and get to know their neighbors.  I agree that your dad shouldn't be driving now.  And, it doesn't sound like he's failing to me.  I think your mom might be jealous that he's adjusting quicker than her.  I like whoever suggested that you take the shuttle with your dad - maybe a couple of times to get the hang of it.  That's a good way for him to meet other folks too - and then they will start making their own way.  I disagree with you doing their shopping unless they need you to for some reason.  He needs to stay in the habit of getting out of the house.  Too easy to become a hermit.

It's an absolutely lovely evening here.  I finally broke down and purchased an outdoor carpet for my front porch.  I have a little bistro set and bought some pretty pillows for the two chairs.  My front porch is actually off to the side of my house, so it's secluded because I have some trees around the perimeter of the property.  Lovely sound from my waterfall, I have the tunes on my ipod playing lightly from a little speaker.  I can block the entry so that Mason doesn't have to be on the leash.  Loving it!  Wish you all could visit .

Mason had an early "spa day" today, so we didn't get to the kayak.  We will tomorrow morning.  I think I'll take some coffee and snacks and spend a little longer out this time. 

You can tell school is out for the summer.  My neighbor across the street and over one had her mailbox pulled out of the ground last night (it's actually on my side of the street, along the front of my property since the mail is delivered on my side).  Someone took the little garden flag off my mailbox post and dropped it in the road down a little ways.  I didn't see any other damage when we took our early morning walk this morning.  We aren't in a bad neighborhood at all, it's just the teenagers.  I looked to make sure I didn't have any other stuff messed with.  I've had a lot worse through the years.  Had a really expensive old St. Nick statue stolen off our front sidewalk one Christmas Eve about midnight.  We were still up doing Santa things, and the ex kept going out and checking on it.  He would always bring it up on the porch at night, but he left it out a little longer that night.  Took the neighbor's across the street lighted Christmas tree and two reindeer at the same time.  Jerks.

Molly, I had deer eat my hostas and tomatoes and green pepper plants and jalepeno plants in the last two nights.  I read that if you put unopened bars of soap around, they will leave them alone.  Getting ready after this post to take my soap out and throw it around.  Hopefully the rest won't get eaten .  I also read about human hair, but I don't really have any since I keep my brushes pretty clean.  Maybe I'll hit up one of the hair places this week.  Wish me luck!

[TheOtherMe]

Thank you all for telling me I'm not crazy in standing my ground and I'm going to have to do it now.  Today was my weekend day to take them to lunch.  Mom seemed disappointed that I wasn't spending the afternoon.  I told her I'd been there three days in a row and I do have a life, too.  She didn't say anything.  This eating out so much was also not in my budget.

Sounds like DS and I are going to have to have a meeting--just the two of us.  Walmart is only 20 miles away and somebody goes to town at least once a week.  We have told mom she can not wait until she is totally out of her meds to call for refills.  She says Walmart won't refill until it's the exact date.  I use mail order (theirs would be cheaper if they did that but she won't do it).  I will call and check on changing plans due to a move.  That would be so much easier on us if the pharmacy in their town could deliver.  The delivery lady is a friend of DS and stopped by last week when she was making a delivery just to say hi.

They had met their lovely next door neighbor today when getting their mail.  She apologized for not bringing them over some baked goods but she is busy baking and freezing things for a grand daughter's wedding and taking care of a sick neighbor.  I don't want dad driving.  Today, they said they'd sell car to DNephew who is getting his PhD on payments because he can't come up with the cash.  I know once they are both gone, if he still owed anything, I'd agree to forgiving the loan.

I'm thinking of only doing the shopping without dad in the dead of winter.  Dad is not failing in my mind.  I actually he tunes mom out because she complains and whines all the time and he's tired of it after 65 years! We noticed at DS's house last evening, he turned his hearing aids up and was part of the conversation.  

BIL is using the words that he is semi-retired.  She said last night if dad wins the lottery they are moving and I would have full responsibility of mom and dad.  I about died.  Now I don't want him to win the lottery!

Thank you for being a sounding board.  I need somebody to do this with.  It isn't that I don't want to visit my parents.  I don't want to live there.  

[TheOtherMe]

I think my new neighbors bought the duplex they did (four were for sale) because of the beautiful patio the previous owners had built.  They had a fire pit on it and had fires almost every weekend.  New neighbors have a fire pit and are having fires almost every weekend.  

None of the other duplexes that are for sale have an area like this fixed up.  The other one that has sold is way nicer than the other two that are still for sale.  

We had a big time thunderstorm this morning.  I had visions of the storm that flooded my basement.  The rain was hitting the front of the house like it was that night.  No water in the basement, but in only last about an hour, not 12 hours.  I don't know what would have happened if it had gone on that long, but there is no carpet down there.  

There was flooding around here.  The park where they are having church next weekend was evacuated this morning.

mother, your porch sounds lovely.  I wish I could join you.

[marvholly]

Going to miss the political talk shows this am. I plan to get a haircut. It is quite needed. Last paid one was mid-Feb. I have done a couple home trims since but it is VERY uneven now. Time for a pro. I’ll then be good for at least 3-4 months.

Then I will head in the opposite direction since my newspaper subscription is over. I’ll hit dollar store where the paper is discounted 50%. There is a major natl grocer enroute so I will check out the specials & clearance there. May hit CVs & WAG since I also pass those.

[Sharon]

My computer had issues yesterday morning and ended up spending a day and half at staples.  They never really figured out why it was so slow to boot but did their free tune up and things seem to be working fine.  I do need to buy some backup software and disk.

[TheOtherMe]

Sharon, buy a portable hard drive and back up all your pictures, documents, etc.  I back mine up about once a month so I can't lose too much if it dies.  

I also back up my bank spreadsheet to a flash drive two or three times a week.  

Hope that helps.  

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

We did around the house stuff today.

My wonderful DH is working tomorrow night ... but he's promised to take me to the Star Trek movie in the morning! I was supposed to see it a month ago, but came down with Shingles. Squeeee! I'm excited!

I need to pay some bills tomorrow. And I need to pick more tomatoes.

We did some grocery shopping today.  YAY! They finally had some locally-grown Armenian cucumbers (my favorite)

Our 10-day forecast looks depressing, weather-wise. HOT. At least 6 days in a row over 100, and up to 109 again. (sigh)

[TheOtherMe]

All the big storms and tornadoes went south of me.  Was watching them on the television.  As they got to this area, they just died out.  Very thankful for that.  At one point, the sky turned black.  Then I saw the wind blow the clouds away.  Strange thing to see.

Realtor called today and emailed me a paper for mom and dad to sign.  I printed it and took it to them to sign.  Realtor said house my close as soon as Friday! He also said don't tell mom and dad just in case it doesn't.  My guess is buyer is wanting out of his rental end of month and is pushing bank to get this done.  Dad all but told me to leave to get paper to mail so it would go out in today's mail.  He was so funny.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Thu Jun 27      102
Fri Jun 28        105
Sat Jun 29       105
Sun Jun 30      105
Mon July 1       106
Tue July 2        109
Wed July 3       109

The heat wave is supposed to go well past that ~ but that's as far as the 10- day forecast goes.

[Peace77]

Molly, 

I know you are against it, but I would be turning on the A C.

[mrsdutt]

We're in the high 90s all this week, as well as humid.  Some rain each day, but scattered.  That was this morning's weather.  We'll see what really happens.

My plants are in the soil now and seem to love the transition.  I water them in the mornings and evenings.  Some days I have to go close to the soil to water them mid day.  It is hot here and they wilt if I don't.  I've lost quite a few tomato flowers because of the heat.  More have sprung up, so we'll see.  I guess my skills in gardening seem to be lacking.  DH had the touch.  It doesn't appear that he passed that touch on to me.

Today will be a down day.  Too hot to go out and move around a lot.

MOTHER:  I'll be right over with Marley to enjoy your porch and the tunes!

MOLLY:  I'm so glad you are feeling better.

SHARON:  Good morning to you.

THEO:  Things will settle in and work out just fine.   The move may have your mom destabilized.

Enjoy the day and stay safe, everyone.

[marvholly]

Well the predicted 90's have NOT hit here. Think the highest we have hit is 87 w/the bit of scattered rain the humidity has not been too terrible either. My whole house exhaust fan has gotten a BIG workout - running constantly the last several days. That is a definate clue that I can manage w/o the a/c quite a bit.

I do know that in Molly'a ahoe'a I tooi would prob have the a/c on.

I really should know better but:
In the current events forum I did read Paul’s new thread about Hostess. I ‘had’ intended to post to it saying no Twinkies for me, into Ding Dongs. However, it had FAST deteriorated into political ranting. No posting for me.

[motherto2]

Hi all!  Not too much to report.  I got my contract awarded yesterday Woohooo!  Still have a lot of work to do on it, but at least the work is continuing.  Since I had to work last Friday on my day off, I'm off this coming Friday.  I am taking off the 5th (that would normally be my day off, but since we are furloughing, we have to go off this schedule.)  I start 8 1/2 hour days this coming Monday.  I will now officially be off every Friday until the end of the fiscal year.  Kinda looking forward to that!  We will have a full payday on the 5th, then the next payday will still be a partial time off, and then in August we have 3 paydays, so that will help with some of the financial impact.  So, it looks like September will be the harshest month.  Not too bad.  I'd rather have the money, but at least it's going to be during the time of the year where people can get out and do things.  Not all holed up in the house. 

Theo - glad to hear you are standing by your decision to keep a schedule with your folks.  I had to laugh that your dad turned up his hearing aid at your sister's!  He's definitely not losing it  .  I think my stepdad is doing that with my mom.  No hearing aids, but when she kept repeating herself on Sunday, I could tell he just tunes her out and mumbles something from time to time.  I have a hard time to keep from telling her over and over that she's already told me something.  I did have a chance to say something to stepdad about moving with me to NC.  He said I need to move away from them and live my life.  I told him that's not why I wanted to move, and I truly did want them to move with me.  Not next door or across the street, but close .  We'll see.

I have 2 of the 3 legs of my vacation worked out.  I'm still trying to decide if I want to go to the third place, or somewhere else instead.  I need to do some more research.  I just can't wait!!!

I ordered a new purse and it came in yesterday.  I love it!  Found the lady on Etsy.  It's Army camo on one side with Army Mom embroidered on it, then Marine camo on the other side with Marine Mom embroidered on it.  Yellow stitching and yellow zipper and yellow ribbons on both sides.  She did an amazing job.  2 pockets on both front sides, 6 pockets inside.  Yay .

[Sharon]

Wedding plans are progressing.  Last night DD ordered her veil.  The style of bridesmaid dress has been chosen but she is deciding between sweet pea pink and petal pink.  Apparently there is a difference.

We have had a great deal of rain the last few days but it is supposed to be into the upper 80's this weekend and 90 by next week.  I hope I don't catch a cold.  It seems whenever we have a quick switch in the weather like this I end up with a cold.

[TheOtherMe]

Realtor emailed me another paper today and wanted this one returned priority mail.  Even parents knew this was a good thing.  He did tell me that he doesn't think anything else will need to be signed by them, but if it does, it will to go back overnight mail.  DS said tonight that she would drive it down if need be to get this house sale closed.

The 90's are not materializing here either because of clouds and humidity, so it's still not comfortable outside. Predicted to have 2 more inches of rain by Thursday and we do not need it.  Sump pump is running often now after this morning's storm.  I  have a/c set at 78 and use a tower fan since I don't have a whole house fan.  It keeps it tolerable as long as I am not doing anything like serious housework.  I do turn the a/c down then.  
I did not plan to visit parents yesterday or today, but these are necessity visits to help get the house closed.

Holly, I called the local medicare advantage plan and parents can change plans due to move.  She said it's too late in the month to get it accomplished by July 1, but will go in to effect August 1.  Mom is no longer receiving any reimbursement from Firestone, but dad is.  Mom will save $30 per month and Dad $60.  We have to get the current company to not be doing the automatic withdrawals of the monthly premiums and get the reimbursement set up for Dad by August 1.  Parents were happy to hear this. No deductible and no copayments if they stay in network.  Person I spoke with suggested staying with Walmart for drugs because they'd have to meet a deductible again if they changed.  She thought we'd be better off changing January 1 for that.  Thank you for the advice.  

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Jun 25, 2013 6:18:02 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

Molly, 

I know you are against it, but I would be turning on the A C.

We will be. I've decided that life's too short to be miserable. For that heat wave, a/c goes on ~ at least in the evenings. (Daytimes I can stay pretty cool in the pool). My wonderful DH is in complete agreement!

[marvholly]

Theotherme
Glad something I read on some danged web site was of help. If I had remembered what, when or where I would have linked it.

About 4:15 am the thunder, lightning & POURING rain started. Of course, my street is flooded (again) as is the alley behind the house. Its 6:55 and still raining. The street flooding is over the curb. Good thing I have no plans for today except meeting my friend for dinner, which I may have to cancel if things don’t improve soon as it can take 8-12 hours for the street flooding to go down. Right now I need hip waders.

Tried to go online to pay my homeowners insurance this am. I went thru 3 VERY slow loading pages and STLL had not hit the registration page. Guess I’ll just call like I did last year.

[Sharon]

I just picked a huge mess of lettuce out of the garden.  We have had so much rain the last few days that I hadn't been able to get out there.  It needed to be picked before it started to go to seed.  Unfortunately the spinach is starting to bolt.  I also picked a huge bowl of fresh raspberries.  Yumm.  I like to just stand at the raspberries and eat them right off the bush.  I know that I don't spray them and what's a little bit of dirt.

Finally got into the orthopedic doctor today to see why my knee has been hurting me so much lately.  They said that the pad in the knee joint is 60% gone on the one side (the side that hurts so much) and that it is arthritis.

[marvholly]

Sharon
I KNOW there are injections to help w/knee issues these days. Friend I had dinner w/last night gets one every 6 months. Seems like it is some kind of 'lubricant.'

I just read over the P & M discussion of the DOMA ruling. Really nice to see mostly well reasoned responses w/o too much hate baiting there for a change. Still did NOT post.

I need to go to the library today & will hit Aldi for some fresh fruit. Will do my main grocery shop on Fri.

Had a real nice dinner & chat w/my friend last night. Good Lord – can we talk. We were at the restaurant >2 hours and that was after a 30+ min drive (3 trains had us tied upo quite a bit). Good thing there were always plenty of tables open.

[TheOtherMe]

Drum roll please.....  Mom and Dad's house is scheduled to close at 2 PM tomorrow.  I think Dad just might believe the house is going to sell.  

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

We rarely see summer rain here ~ it would be nice (for a change of pace!)

[marvholly]

Today is my 'main' grocery/errand day. Up early. Out early. Want to see as much as I can of the Blackhawks parade & stuff.

[Sharon]

We are getting ready to heat up here.  So far this summer has had a whole lot of summer rain but we are scheduled to be in the 90's for the next several days.  This should make sleeping interesting, we don't have A/C.

[snapdragon]

Sharon I am right there with you on being unhappy about the heat. My two colors are white and red so I really don't enjoy anything over 80. 

Everyone stay safe and cool over the weekend.

[mrsdutt]

MARV:  Thank you for the web site on the 'cereal' thread.  It's always nice to have more information on a subject.

It rained only once - Wednesday night.  DD1 lives 6 miles from me but didn't get rain.  My garden needed it.  I have lots of tomato flowers, but only 2 tomatoes.  Geez, I hope I get lots of fruit.

Cleaned the fridge this morning and got a load of laundry done.  I change clothes more often in the summer, so I guess the 2 loads a week idea is just for winter months.

In 2 days I will meet my new Ellie baby.  I feel like a little kid with a quarter in my pocket.  DD1 said DS is excited for our visit.  DD2 keeps it in, in case something happens and we don't make it.  Only an act of God would keep me from going to visit.

[TheOtherMe]

Mom and Dad's house is SOLD and proceeds are in the bank.  My dad does now believe the house will sell, but he didn't until he received the phone call the check was in the bank.

Buyer truly was a first time homebuyer.  He had not called any of the utilities when I called.  They had not heard from him.  I just told them to take them out of parents' name today.