Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Dec 3, 2012 13:55:49 GMT -5
DD turned 2 in September. I have recently noticed she occassionally beats the crap out of her stuffed animals. This weekend she hit one probably at least a dozen times then picked it up & told it she was sorry & gave it a hug.
Given DD's previous incident I probably watch for odd behaviors closer than I should. But, does this seem like normal child behavior? My son never did anything like this, but then he was never into stuffed animals at all so no real opportunity to exhibit such behavior.
Given her history, should I be worried? What would you suggest I do about it?
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Dec 3, 2012 14:02:05 GMT -5
It's definitely not abnormal. But it probably points to a need to work with her on appropriate behavior. Working on "hitting is wrong" even when it's her stuffed animals.
Has she learned "I'm sorry" recently? This kind of thing seems fairly normal, she's learned "I'm sorry", to put it into practice she has to "be bad" first. So she punches the animal, then apologizes, because it's new. (by "learn", I mean has started to understand and do it on her own, not just learned the words that you force her to repeat back).
|
|
kittypuppymom
Junior Member
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 10:38:54 GMT -5
Posts: 165
|
Post by kittypuppymom on Dec 3, 2012 14:03:03 GMT -5
She's angry little bugger. I wouldn't worry till she tries to beat the crap out of a live kid or animal. Has she been watching to much tv perhaps? Has she seen this in real life (which I hope not).
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Dec 3, 2012 14:04:14 GMT -5
Don't know if you should be worried or not, we don't have enough info. Have you noticed a change in her behaviour or reactions to things? That might be a sign.
I have only boys and they are pretty rough, so what you're describing probably wouldn't worry me unless it was a big escalation of violent behaviour.
If you're worried, though, consider taking her to a child psychologist. In our area, we have several really good ones who are fantastic about working with children, discovering and addressing issues. Call around to local schools (you can even stay anonymous, just call the guidance office and ask) for a referral.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Dec 3, 2012 14:06:52 GMT -5
::I wouldn't worry till she tries to beat the crap out of a live kid or animal.::
I don't know that I'd "worry", but I'm definitely of the opinion that kids tend to treat live humans and animals similarly to how they treat "imaginary" friends (i.e. invisible friend, stuffed animals, etc). The lesson needs to be hitting=wrong, as opposed to hitting=chance to apologize and hug.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:08:12 GMT -5
DD turned 2 in September. I have recently noticed she occassionally beats the crap out of her stuffed animals. This weekend she hit one probably at least a dozen times then picked it up & told it she was sorry & gave it a hug. Given DD's previous incident I probably watch for odd behaviors closer than I should. But, does this seem like normal child behavior? My son never did anything like this, but then he was never into stuffed animals at all so no real opportunity to exhibit such behavior. Given her history, should I be worried? What would you suggest I do about it? Children mimick what they see, its part of the learning process. I don't know her history so I have no idea what she has witnessed.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 3, 2012 14:09:42 GMT -5
I think you're too worried about her history. She was a baby when it happened. She probably doesn't even remember it.
Nothing. Little kids do the weirdest stuff. She's probably fine, and you don't want to give the kid a complex about playing with her toys.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:09:54 GMT -5
The lesson needs to be hitting=wrong, as opposed to hitting=chance to apologize and hug. We spank so this concept is problematic at our home. DS role plays a lot with his animals, it's his way of figuring out the world.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:11:08 GMT -5
The lesson needs to be hitting=wrong, as opposed to hitting=chance to apologize and hug. We spank so this concept is problematic at our home. DS role plays a lot with his animals, it's his way of figuring out the world. Precisely why spanking doesn't work. It sends a mixed message.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 3, 2012 14:12:37 GMT -5
Have you tried asking her why's she's hitting them? I know language at 2 is problematic but you never know.
And I guess I'd keep an eye on her, maybe mention it at dcp and see if they've got any thoughts. My dcp was a blessing beyond price when my kids had me feeling clueless.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:21:10 GMT -5
Precisely why spanking doesn't work. It sends a mixed message. I'd rather have him be confused than hit by a car.
|
|
whoami
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 12:43:49 GMT -5
Posts: 1,292
|
Post by whoami on Dec 3, 2012 14:23:13 GMT -5
The lesson needs to be hitting=wrong, as opposed to hitting=chance to apologize and hug. We spank so this concept is problematic at our home. DS role plays a lot with his animals, it's his way of figuring out the world. Precisely why spanking doesn't work. It sends a mixed message. <shrug> I got spanked on occasion and never beat up on other kids or animals stuffed or live. I also knew when I did get a swat that I better not do whatever I did again. No confusion on my part.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:24:45 GMT -5
I'm not getting into a spanking debate on this thread. Its just my opinion as a side note.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Dec 3, 2012 14:26:27 GMT -5
Besides, some people like to be spanked.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:27:35 GMT -5
Besides, some people like to be spanked. True that. Whats the dif?
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 3, 2012 14:27:58 GMT -5
I told you that in confidence!
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Dec 3, 2012 14:30:40 GMT -5
...:::"Precisely why spanking doesn't work. It sends a mixed message.":::...
It only sends a mixed message if people try to explain spanking with the WRONG message. Its much clearer when boiled down to its simple blunt truth: "I'm in charge, obey me or else". The message is the same regardless of what actual disciplinary consequence is on the table.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,719
|
Post by midjd on Dec 3, 2012 14:32:45 GMT -5
I can understand why you're worried (given what happened) - but I don't think you should be, unless you've suddenly noticed a major change in her personality.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:33:57 GMT -5
I told you that in confidence! I put the screws to her, she broke quickly.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,423
|
Post by andi9899 on Dec 3, 2012 14:35:00 GMT -5
I was following that thread for a while and don't think I caught you last update. Whatever became of that whole mess if you don't mind me asking? You can tell me to MYOB if you don't want to share.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:39:21 GMT -5
I think she's probably fine, seems like normal, correctable behavior to me I'm sure you'll monitor, but see no reason to worry at this point. Who does and doesn't spank always surprises me... I'll be thinking on your interpretation wewill.
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Dec 3, 2012 14:41:54 GMT -5
I think you're too worried about her history. She was a baby when it happened. She probably doesn't even remember it. Probably, but that is why I am asking. It was 10 months ago, so it would seem weird to be having an impact on her now. It didn't even really bother me when she was just hitting the toys, kids are funny like that. It was just when she suddenly acted like they had feelings, but hit them anyway that it really threw me off. It just freaked me out when she did that, like maybe it was more than just being a silly kid.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:43:49 GMT -5
I wouldn't exactly say that is normal behaviour but then again I don't know the history. I would definitely keep an eye on this and perhaps try to get the message that hitting is hurtful.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Dec 3, 2012 14:45:00 GMT -5
::It was just when she suddenly acted like they had feelings, but hit them anyway that it really threw me off.::
I would assume that she's used to the conditioning of "you hit me/someone, so say you're sorry and hug". It may have nothing to do with thinking about them having feelings (it's probably not a concept she grasps at this point).
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:45:19 GMT -5
Who does and doesn't spank always surprises me... It surprises me too. Oddly enough DS gets over spankings quickly. As soon as it's done he moves on. When I yell at him he freaks out, starts crying, and will talk about it hours later. Angel - maybe she's just trying to figure things out. Is it okay to hit certain objects? Will people still love me if I hit them?
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Dec 3, 2012 14:49:10 GMT -5
If this is an isolated incident, I wouldn't be worried. As at least one other person has said, kids often mimic what they see on TV or at other places outside the home. It is your chance to re-direct her behavior ("we don't hit, we use our words" or whatever else phrase works for you).
If it becomes a pattern or a regular thing, I think I would worry.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:49:52 GMT -5
I have feelings, doesn't sop the neighbor boy from pulling an earring or bopping me on the nose now and again. Kids at that age aren't thinking deeply about another's feelings, more likely it's like someone noted and she's practicing a new learned reponse... Do something bad, say sorry...
Where is she in care at the moment? Maybe something happened there with another kid.
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Dec 3, 2012 14:50:21 GMT -5
I was following that thread for a while and don't think I caught you last update. Whatever became of that whole mess if you don't mind me asking? You can tell me to MYOB if you don't want to share. Basically nothing. The guy has a report of suspected child abuse, or something similar on his record. But, they never felt there was enough proof to actual charge him with anything. But, they have moved away (they got kicked out by their landlord - his sister, LOL) so I have let the whole thing go. I generally don't worry about it, but I will admit I watch her for odd behavior way more closely that I probably should. And I clearly tend to freak out over little things when I think it may be related to what she went through. Perhaps I am the one that needs a therapist
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 5:15:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2012 14:51:06 GMT -5
It is definitely not abnormal.
|
|
michelyn8
Familiar Member
Joined: Jul 25, 2012 6:48:24 GMT -5
Posts: 926
|
Post by michelyn8 on Dec 3, 2012 14:59:45 GMT -5
I think you're too worried about her history. She was a baby when it happened. She probably doesn't even remember it. Probably, but that is why I am asking. It was 10 months ago, so it would seem weird to be having an impact on her now. It didn't even really bother me when she was just hitting the toys, kids are funny like that. It was just when she suddenly acted like they had feelings, but hit them anyway that it really threw me off. It just freaked me out when she did that, like maybe it was more than just being a silly kid. I don't remember everything about what she went through but I do understand your concern. Is it possible she witnessed this type of behavior while at that sitters or while visiting someone else. Or even on the TV when you or another caregiver didn't realize she was watching? (I had started watching a Walking Dead rerun a few days ago and noticed DGD looking at the TV with a funny expression which caused me to realize it was definately time to censor what we watched when she was around.) I'm one that believes that a child is never to young to learn. My BF once told me his then 4 or 5 year old daughter was to young to understand how to control her temper. I taught mine not to lose their temper when they were still toddlers (tantrums got them punishments like a timeout or spanking) and to this day, I can settle them down with just a look when they start to show me their tempers. If you don't like the behavior she's exhibiting, I'd use it as an opportunity to show her how you want her to treat her stuffed animals (and other children). You can even try to talk to her about why she's doing those things and maybe find out if she saw someone else behave that way - maybe another child at the daycare who has witnessed the behavior at home (or worse, been on the receiving end). I'd also talk to the daycare about it too - especially since there could be a chance she's emulating someone else who might actually need their home situation looked at. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing more than her being a little rough but the fact that she's doing it and then saying she's sorry personally makes me thinks she's copying something she's seen somewhere else (real or tv).
|
|