Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 16:08:37 GMT -5
Some of the folks here are saying 8 and 9, but it would probably freak my wife out a bit to walk into a ladies room and see a boy that old hanging out in there. I doubt she'd say anything, except to me later about "those crazy helicopter parents these days", which is a semi frequent topic of conversation for us. I think it's mostly the area we live in, but some of the stuff we see here... just wow. Those poor kids are probably going to have mom and dad go off to college with them, once the kid is 25 of course since they won't be allowed out of mom and dad's sight until then. Maybe that goes on everywhere now, and I just think it's my area though.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 16:13:15 GMT -5
You guys keep mentioning Walmart and other stores. How often do you have to stop to hit the head while shopping? I don't think I've seen the inside of a grocery store or big box store bathroom in a couple decades. You're an adult. You can't hold it until you finish buying your always low price household goods, and hit the head at home? I can understand the kid needing to go to the bathroom while you're out, but then you can send them into the bathroom and wait outside the door. Restaurants are a little different, because you're eating and drinking, and you're there for a while. The only times I can remember being out with the kids alone and I needed to go to the bathroom were at restaurants. I left the kids at the table and told them to keep eating. I didn't bring them over to the bathroom area with me and have them wait outside. I don't know, maybe I was being a total jerk for leaving my kindergarten age kids unsupervised for a couple minutes. Mine survived though, and we're way past that stage now, so whatev. Spoken like someone who hasn't had a couple of ten lb kids. Trust me that when I have to go. I HAVE to go!
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 16:15:04 GMT -5
That doesn't go back to normal by the time the youngest one is a few years old?
|
|
oreo
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:42:49 GMT -5
Posts: 577
|
Post by oreo on Nov 20, 2012 16:16:27 GMT -5
My DS just turned 4 and we almost ALWAYS take him with one of us to the bathroom. I usually just wait in the stall with him. If I let him go to the bathroom alone, he'd spend like 20 minutes playing in the sink with the water. It goes without saying that when we go in to wash our hands to eat (out to dinner) one of us accompanies him as well.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 16:17:12 GMT -5
That doesn't go back to normal by the time the youngest one is a few years old? No actually it gets worse.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 20, 2012 16:17:22 GMT -5
It doesn't matter. Women's restrooms have stalls. JMO. But I am completely immodest and shower with my almost 3 year old and will continue until he tells me not to (of course he hates it when I do his bath or shower because I'm not quite as patient as dad about keeping soap and water out of his eyes. DH does the same stuff, but DS freaks out more for me.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 16:20:17 GMT -5
Some of the folks here are saying 8 and 9, but it would probably freak my wife out a bit to walk into a ladies room and see a boy that old hanging out in there. I doubt she'd say anything, except to me later about "those crazy helicopter parents these days", which is a semi frequent topic of conversation for us. I think it's mostly the area we live in, but some of the stuff we see here... just wow. Those poor kids are probably going to have mom and dad go off to college with them, once the kid is 25 of course since they won't be allowed out of mom and dad's sight until then. Maybe that goes on everywhere now, and I just think it's my area though. You keep saying 8 or 9 years old like they are almost ready to drive or something, but an 8 year old is a second grader. Is that really so old that they should be left in a large box store on their own? I don't see that as the start to a life of helplessness but then again my teenager tells me all the time how mean I am. I have no problem telling her to deal with things on her own.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 16:22:03 GMT -5
That sucks. You should have been born with a penis, we got the better side of the bargain in almost every way.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 16:24:29 GMT -5
Look at it this way, they start puberty at 10 and 11, but you can't tell them to stand by the cart and not do anything stupid while you go into the bathroom for two minutes at 8 and 9? Really?
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 16:26:40 GMT -5
Look at it this way, they start puberty at 10 and 11, but you can't tell them to stand by the cart and not do anything stupid while you go into the bathroom for two minutes at 8 and 9? Really? You seriously haven't spent much time with boys have you?
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 16:33:25 GMT -5
One that comment is sexist and offensive. It would be like me saying that you should teach your daughters how to cook because all little girls love being in the kitchen. Two, I have three little brothers. We were all capable of not running off or killing ourselves if left alone for a couple minutes by second and third grade. Shit, we walked to school on our own at that point. I think we'll live waiting for mom to take a piss without us.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,704
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Nov 20, 2012 16:35:22 GMT -5
Dark, it probably depends on the kids. Some are very well-behaved at an early age and some really never get there.
|
|
susanb
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jun 21, 2012 14:16:56 GMT -5
Posts: 1,430
|
Post by susanb on Nov 20, 2012 16:47:50 GMT -5
I agree that bathroom stalls allow for privacy and I don't really care about the age or gender of the person using the one next to me.
My health club dressing room has a sign that says no males over the age of 6 are allowed. There are naked women everywhere and it is very unpleasant when someone brings their 9 year old kid in. I was raised by a mom who thought being naked was natural, so it doesn't bother me personally, but it seems to be very embarrassing for the kid and a number of the other guests, so I don't like it.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 20, 2012 16:52:18 GMT -5
Wow. I'm a horrible parent I guess. We started leaving the kids home alone for brief periods, like running to the grocery store for a couple things or whatnot, when they were 8 and 9. I stopped escorting them to the bathroom or taking them in with me when they were like 3 or 4. If we were somewhere especially crowded I'd wait outside the door while they went in, but that's it. I started leaving my Dd home alone at that age. DS is 9 and we just started leaving him home alone for a few minutes at a time. That said leaving them home alone for a few minutes isn't the same thing to me as leaving them alone in the vestibule outside the restooms at Walmart. It isn't much of a problem with Womens rooms to me. Most have stalls with doors so who the heck cares if someone's 9 yr old son is waiting there? I guess if it was a mens room with urinals it would be different. My son just started going to the restroom by himself at a few restaurants we frequents. Before normally DH would go with him. Apparently one mother thinks her 9 year old son is too young to change out of his swimsuit alone. She brought him into the ladies locker room while I was stripping out of my work clothes getting ready to work out. My next stop was at the management office about how inappropriate that was.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 17:18:45 GMT -5
One that comment is sexist and offensive. It would be like me saying that you should teach your daughters how to cook because all little girls love being in the kitchen. Two, I have three little brothers. We were all capable of not running off or killing ourselves if left alone for a couple minutes by second and third grade. Shit, we walked to school on our own at that point. I think we'll live waiting for mom to take a piss without us. I don't even know what you are talking about. Do you have boys and I missed it? I thought you had girls and worked in an office with other adults. Second being around kids when you are a kid is a totally different perspective than being around them as an adult. What I would think is mature when I was 13 say is totally different than what I would find mature today. My point is that boys don't mature as fast as girls. So my daughter was much more mature at 9 than my son is. It isn't an algebra equation so it doens't track perfectly but boys definately mature later than the girls in some things. Most of the 9ish year old boys I know would get distracted pretty easily. Leaving them alone in a place like Walmart would be a crap shoot. Most of the time they would still be there or just talking to a neighbor. But every once in a while, say 1 out of 10, they would see something and go wondering off. My son would apologize and truly be sorry that he had done it. It wouldn't occur to him that we wouldn't know where he went or anything. He would still continue to do it though because that part of his brain that should stop him and make him think isn't fully cooked yet.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,723
|
Post by raeoflyte on Nov 20, 2012 17:22:03 GMT -5
I agree that bathroom stalls allow for privacy and I don't really care about the age or gender of the person using the one next to me. My health club dressing room has a sign that says no males over the age of 6 are allowed. There are naked women everywhere and it is very unpleasant when someone brings their 9 year old kid in. I was raised by a mom who thought being naked was natural, so it doesn't bother me personally, but it seems to be very embarrassing for the kid and a number of the other guests, so I don't like it. My rec center is age 4 which I think is a little ridiculous. I'd be much more okay with 6. They have family locker rooms which we'll switch to and are fine, but I'm not looking forward to the wait for them.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 17:33:51 GMT -5
You don't really need very well behaved. You need a kid that you can tell to stay by the cart for two minutes while you go to the bathroom. You aren't leaving them alone for half an hour or anything. Your kids are absolutely expected to be able to shut up, sit still, and not wander off by second grade while they're in school. You should be able to get at least that much out of them with you.
No, but I was one, and I grew up with three younger brothers.
That sounds like the kind of problem best solved by tanning his ass a couple times. Although parents these days seem much less willing to do that than the parents when I was a kid.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 17:39:07 GMT -5
That sounds like the kind of problem best solved by tanning his ass a couple times.
Unfortunately we have punished him and now realized that until his brain fully cooks it isn't going to do a bit of good. He would get better later probably about trying to get out of being beaten but it won't stop the inherant problem that he would just get distracted and forget that he was supposed to stay there. I really wish it would work.
I also think it is different talking about bringing a second grader to stand by the sinks in a women's room and bringing them into the locker room. That is a problem that needs to be dealt with and I am not sure what is the answer. I don't want to have to change in front of somebody's else's 9 year old either. I also don't want to be in a locker room with a bunch of unsupervised 4 and 5 year olds. ;D
ETA in my experience it is much harder for kids to not get distracted when they are "in motion". Sitting at a desk would require getting up and walking away at school in a room full of people sitting doing what they are supposed to. That is much easier for most kids than standing at the mall and seeing people wander around. They are also already standing so walking isn't much different. They are much more likely then to wander.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 17:53:55 GMT -5
I don't know. Maybe it really is a gender thing. I'm honestly trying to wrap my head around this idea that your 8 or 9 year old couldn't stand in relatively one spot for two or three minutes while you run to the bathroom, and I just can't do it. I expected a helluva lot more than that from my kids at the same age.
I'm assuming a kid that easily distracted can't be trusted to get to the bus stop or walk to school either? Do you have to walk with him, or drop him off? If so, are the parents of the other boys his age doing the same thing? If he goes to play at a friends house can he walk there (assume a friend down the street, not on the other side of a highway or anything) or do you take him back and forth? Is he allowed to play outside unsupervised at all?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 29, 2024 3:47:34 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2012 17:59:04 GMT -5
That doesn't go back to normal by the time the youngest one is a few years old? No actually it gets worse. On word. Kegels.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 29, 2024 3:47:34 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2012 18:00:00 GMT -5
I don't know. Maybe it really is a gender thing. I'm honestly trying to wrap my head around this idea that your 8 or 9 year old couldn't stand in relatively one spot for two or three minutes while you run to the bathroom, and I just can't do it. I expected a helluva lot more than that from my kids at the same age. I'm assuming a kid that easily distracted can't be trusted to get to the bus stop or walk to school either? Do you have to walk with him, or drop him off? If he goes to play at a friends house can he walk there (assume a friend down the street, not on the other side of a highway or anything) or do you take him back and forth? Is he allowed to play outside unsupervised at all? I'm with you on that one. An 8 or 9 year old that cannot take simple instructions either has something wrong with him or is...over parented.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 20, 2012 18:00:30 GMT -5
It really depends on the kid IMO. My sister's middle child (a girl) gets so distracted and at 9, it probably would not have been a good idea for her to stand outside a restroom by herself. She's almost 13 and still gets distracted very easily. Her older brother, not a problem; her younger sister is 8 now and could totally do it. Now as a middle child, I think the the instances where she was shopping alone with either of her parents has been few and far between, but that is my impression of her.
|
|
lynnerself
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 11:42:29 GMT -5
Posts: 4,166
|
Post by lynnerself on Nov 20, 2012 18:01:14 GMT -5
My health club dressing room has a sign that says no males over the age of 6 are allowed. There are naked women everywhere and it is very unpleasant when someone brings their 9 year old kid in. I was raised by a mom who thought being naked was natural, so it doesn't bother me personally, but it seems to be very embarrassing for the kid and a number of the other guests, so I don't like it. My gym has signs saying 4 year olds must use the appropriate sex dressing room. They do have family changing rooms however.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 20, 2012 18:10:24 GMT -5
I don't know. Maybe it really is a gender thing. I'm honestly trying to wrap my head around this idea that your 8 or 9 year old couldn't stand in relatively one spot for two or three minutes while you run to the bathroom, and I just can't do it. I expected a helluva lot more than that from my kids at the same age. I'm assuming a kid that easily distracted can't be trusted to get to the bus stop or walk to school either? Do you have to walk with him, or drop him off? If he goes to play at a friends house can he walk there (assume a friend down the street, not on the other side of a highway or anything) or do you take him back and forth? Is he allowed to play outside unsupervised at all? He walks to the bus stop but it is a straight shot so A I could see him the whole way and B there are other kids there who are always playing soccer in the street. they kind of serve as their own distraction that works in my favor. ;D The kid across the street's house he can walk to himself. There really aren't any others he would want to play with so it doesn't come up much. I really think it is a matter of what the situation is and how big an "attraction" the distraction is. Being at home playing in his room home alone for instance would be no problem. He has stayed home alone for 30 minutes to an hour. He has never had a problem with it. Maybe it is a physics thing. He probably wouldn't easily walk out and get in trouble. He plays in the yard by himself when ever he wants. It isn't something I even worry about as he would almost have to come back inside to get anywhere that would be more interesting really. Being in a new place with lots of interesting people and things would be a much bigger deal. It doesn't happen much and would be a big attraction. When he is in his familiar places he is much more apt to do "the right thing" than when he is in a new and different place. Then again maybe I have no real knowledge if my daughter really was that mature. Since she is a girl she would have just come in the ladies room with me so there really wasn't an opportunity to test it. Ignorance really can be bliss.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,358
|
Post by movingforward on Nov 20, 2012 18:20:29 GMT -5
I thought this was interesting... a couple of weeks ago I was in the bathroom at Target (no, dark I couldn't hold it until I finished my shopping and got back home ) A lady walked in while I was washing my hands with 3 boys. They appeared to be around the ages of 5, 7 & 9. I am not certain of the ages of course, but the older two looked a little old to me to be taken in the ladies room. She also made them leave the stall door open while they used the restroom. Then none of them flushed or washed their hands and she didn't make them
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 18:28:42 GMT -5
See, this to me sounds age appropriate for an 8-9 year old. The not being able to trust them to stay in one spot for two or three minutes in public, right after you specifically told them to, not so much. See! Crazy helicopter parents these days... I swear. You see them everywhere too. Classy. It could have been worse. If you had been at Walmart there's a better than even chance they wouldn't even have done their business in the actual toilet.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,358
|
Post by movingforward on Nov 20, 2012 18:35:11 GMT -5
"Classy. It could have been worse. If you had been at Walmart there's a better than even chance they wouldn't even have done their business in the actual toilet. " While in Vegas last week I walked into the restroom at The Golden Nugget and there was shit all over the floor. I almost vomited. It appears that adult women can be utterly disgusting. While searching for another restroom I found a security guard and let him know someone needed to clean. He didn't seem as appalled as I did. I guess he's heard/seen just about everything.
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 20, 2012 18:51:57 GMT -5
Heck, my DH can't even trust ME not to wonder off while I am waiting for him, ESPECIALLY at Walmart - have you seen how many different types of candy bars they have??
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,358
|
Post by movingforward on Nov 20, 2012 18:54:03 GMT -5
Now I want candy
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 20, 2012 19:15:37 GMT -5
LOL! Just put a tracking device on the little buggers, use the restroom in peace, and track them down after. There must be an app for that.
|
|