The older kid thread

[shanendoah]

Who else spends their Friday night administering an enema to a kid?

Pop Tart has major constipation issues, and tonight it resulted in incapacitating stomach cramps, so while we gave milk of magnesia, it can take 6 hours to work, and ibuprofen to help with the pain, I'm still going to be shooting liquid up her butt and hope she poops in 1-10 minutes.

*This is my if you're not certain you want to be a parent, you should perhaps not become a parent post, because as a parent, this is just something you do.*

[raeoflyte]

I missed this post earlier.  I hope poptart is feeling better!  We've had that issue with ds (when he was younger), and it was definitely a moment realizing everything you didn't know parenting would entail.  

[shanendoah]

Any advice on how to keep my daughter from becoming a mean girl?

On Monday, she was best friends with S. On Wednesday, I first heard about friend M, and how they got in a fight with S because they didn't want S around. Today, S's mom calls me and says that S came home crying again from Pop Tart's and M's actions.

We talk to Pop Tart about it. She gets upset and runs out of the room. Here's the thing, she is NOT upset that she is fighting with S. She is perfectly happy to blame it all on S for "playing a game wrong" (and this would naturally be a game they made up at school on the spot, and constantly told S she was playing "wrong"). Pop Tart is upset because we are calling her out on her actions and behaviors.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I guess just keep on explaining that rules need to be explained clearly, even when made up on the fly.  That it's wrong to be so mean to people that they cry - And how does Pop Tart like it when someone does this to her and that kind of stuff when you talk to her. 

We're just starting on this with K but she's 6.  As far as I know, the only person she's made cry is her little brother, which is a whole different dynamic than friends. 

[shanendoah]

Sometimes I think C and I need a family counseling session with no kids in it. 
I very much need to do a little long, in fact, very long, vent, and it's related to older kids and discipline, so I hope nobody minds me doing it here. I do not want to start my own thread somewhere because this really is more of a vent issue than needing or wanting advice. (Though if you have some advice, I will totally take it.)


For those not following along over at YMOT, we now have a second child in our home. An 11 y/o foster boy I'm calling Mini Wheat (MW). This is in addition to our 11 y/o daughter (adopted from foster care) called Pop Tart (PT).

Yesterday, I got home to find out that PT had broken some major rules. Recently she got rats. One of our dogs is a terrier- you know, dogs that were bread for centuries to hunt and kill rats. So, we have some very specific rules in place to keep the rats safe. Our terrier has been very good so far, but it is our job to not put him in a position where that will change.
Rules include: Rats don't leave PT's room. PT's bedroom door must remain closed unless an adult is in there to supervise interaction between terrier and rats (and this includes when rats are in their cage). If there is a rat in the cage, and no one is actively paying attention to that rat (or the cage), cage door must be closed.

So, yesterday, Pop Tart brought one of the rats (but only one) out to the living room. In the process, she left the cage door open (with a rat still inside), AND her bedroom door open.
Let's start with the good news- nothing happened. No rats were killed by our terrier. No rats even escaped. BUT that's all pretty much luck.

Please note, that while she has accidentally left her bedroom door open on occasion, and she's likely left the cage door open once or twice while closed in her room playing with a rat, she has NEVER brought a rat out to the living room before. But it's also not like she's forgotten these rules. Especially with MW in the house, we have been repeating them over and over and over again.
And this is general, a major rule of our house (even before we had rats)- we do not do things that put our animals in danger.

While C is then sitting in her room talking with her about what her punishment should be (with MW closed out, obviously), PT gets mad (because nothing happened, so why should there be a big punishment. of course, if the terrier had killed a rat, I'm pretty certain we would have considered that punishment enough, well, along with then having to give the other rat away). PT throws something at C. It hits him. In the head.

Now she's in more trouble. Not because it hit him in the head, not because it hit him at all, but because she threw something at him. (This is also new behavior.)

He leaves her in her room. He comes to our room to cool off. Mini Wheat is still left by himself in the living room. This is about when I arrive home.

I offer to deal with PT, but C thinks it's best if he does. He gives her a few more minutes to cool off. I go to finish dinner prep. 

C goes in to talk with PT. I get dinner ready and call people to the table. MW offers to go tell C and PT, but I say no, they heard me. A few minutes later C says no family dinner tonight. I am not happy but say okay, she doesn't have to join us. He should sit and eat with MW and I. He says no, I need to stay in with her. I am less happy. I instead offer to let him eat, and I will go talk with her. He says no, he's over his anger and frustration, so it's really best if it's him. 
And this is where I push back hard. I say that throwing a fit does not entitle someone in our family to not only skip family dinner for themselves, but to force another person to miss it. We have stated over and over again in family counseling, as we've talked about bringing another kid into our family, that family dinner was something we wanted to hold onto. (And I promise I'll explain later why I was willing to let it split me off, because I know this seems inconsistent.) 
He says if we can agree not to talk about what happened, he'll try and convince her. I'm fine with that. I actually haven't seen her yet, and had intended to ask my normal questions about what she did in school.

MW and I start eating. About 5 minutes later, C and PT come out. We have dinner.

After dinner, PT still needs to do her homework. She is struggling with this section in math, so she needs help. C has been helping her, so they go back to her room to finish math. And then she still needs to do her 45 minutes (though tonight we said 3 chapters, forget about time) of reading.
They finish math, come out for a quick break. C specifically says "PT and I need to do our reading" (I note this because it comes up again in our conversation.)

It is now about 45 minutes before bedtime. C and PT once again go back in her room and close the door and do their reading. MW and I hang out in the living room. I watch him play Lego Rock Band, but just don't have the emotional energy to join him. (Because I've had no decompression time since I walked through the door. I don't require much, but I do need a little. Normally, I sit back in our room with the dogs while they eat because our terrier will wander away and not eat if too much is going on around him, and then our beagle eats his dinner. So I get about 5-10 minutes decompression and the dogs actually eat the right amount of food. But I'd gotten home late yesterday due to an accident on the freeway and dogs had already been fed.)

I send MW off to take his shower. By the time he's done, reading is done. Kids brush their teeth together (and possibly have a toothpaste war), giggling. We do family story time, and off to bed.


So now you've read the long story of events, here's my problem with it. Pop Tart was not actually punished for her actions. Oh, she's been grounded, and no TV time, etc, but last night, there wasn't actually any punishment. She got to spend the entire evening locked away in her room with one on one attention from C, forcing him to ignore MW's existence in our house. This was not the first time this had happened. By my count (from what C had told me about previous nights before I got home), this was the 3rd night (of the 4 weeknights, or 7 nights overall MW has been with us, though one of those she was at a sleep over from 2pm-10am) that she had forced a situation where C closed MW out of her room and focused solely on her. C remembers it being 2, and I think he's making a distinction based on how long he was with PT, whereas I'm making the distinction based on any time he's told MW he needs to be elsewhere.

In a sense, PT was rewarded with exactly what she wanted. C's full attention for the entire evening.

And this is why I was willing to trade it out for me. Because while she likes my attention, my attention isn't the prize. C is the primary caregiver. Having his attention is what she wants. And this is probably aggravated by the fact that MW is a boy, and so she thinks C may like him better. (Though honestly, if it were another girl in the house, she'd be afraid of losing her daddy's little girl status.)

None of her actions are surprising. I want to say that quite clearly. While she has stated she wants a sibling to live with (and she plays great with MW), PT is also an attention hog. She is very needy, and even with 18 months of getting all the attention, she still had some attention getting behaviors. So, we expected behavior like this from her. We knew it would come. So while she is obviously in trouble for what she did, I am in an ok place regarding her behavior.

I am annoyed with C. Because even though we expected this, he is letting her get away with it. She is getting exactly what she wants. I tried explaining this to him and his response is that we don't punish via emotional cruelty or withholding affection. I agree. BUT, if she refuses to eat dinner with the family, making her sit in her room by herself while the rest of the family eats dinner is NOT emotional cruelty or withholding affection. It's not. It's an extended time out that she's chosen to put herself in. On a night when she so badly misbehaves, she absolutely should NOT be rewarded with exactly what she wants.

The other big, and I mean BIG issue for me, is that this is exactly what prevented PT from being adopted by the family she was with before us. In that case, it was their son who behaved in such a manner that prevented mom from bonding with PT, and then, 9 months in, had them looking for an excuse to get her out of their house.
Now, we are not in the same position right now. We did not take MW with the express intention of adopting him (which the other family had). He has been with us 1 week, not 9 months. We are not talking about any kind of permanency with MW. We really aren't talking much beyond each weekend right now. So, if things change, we have plenty of time to work on the bond. But C has already mentioned to me that he's not clicking with MW the way he remembers clicking with PT, and I can't help but think "DUH! That's because PT isn't giving you any opportunities to click with MW," in addition to all the other ways in which this placement is different. But again, I did not say that out loud.

As we're finishing up our conversation, C says he didn't have to do the reading with her. I could have. That he came out and dithered to give me the opportunity to do that part. Which is when I told him, he specifically came out and said he and PT needed to do their reading right now. (I did not add that by that point, he'd refused to let me step in any previous time I'd offered, so I was kind of done offering.) If he had asked me if I wanted to go read with her, I would have, but that's not what he said.

C says he gets my point, though he doesn't see it exactly the same way I do, and comes back to the we don't punish by emotional cruelty or withholding affection. And what I can't get him to see just yet, is that he is, in fact, punishing someone by withholding affection. Pop Tart is misbehaving, and it's leading to C withholding time and attention from Mini Wheat.

[raeoflyte]

Wow Shane--that sucks.  I have frequently wished that dh and I could read each others minds for child care situations.  I know you didn't want advice and I don't have any.  But I'm guessing it will be a good thing to tackle when your therapist is back. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 17, 2014 13:05:55 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Wow Shane--that sucks.  I have frequently wished that dh and I could read each others minds for child care situations.  I know you didn't want advice and I don't have any.  But I'm guessing it will be a good thing to tackle when your therapist is back. 

Pretty much Ditto from me.

[chen35]

Shane,
I've been thinking about this all weekend, and all I can offer are hugs. I can see how this is an issue for you. I can see where your DH thinks that she has already had so many feelings of abandonment that he doesn't want to 'withhold affection' and make her feel abandoned again. But I agree with you that is a shortsighted view, and it likely to cause more issues. Hopefully you can get into so counseling with just the two of you. Sometimes spouses are more likely to listen to an outside source. That's the whole reason we use a financial planner when I know I could do as good or a better job myself using Vanguard funds. I can't do a better job of convincing DH we need to be saving way more, so we come out ahead in the end.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Shane, how'd the weekend go? 

[shanendoah]

chen35 - luckily, C and I have a pretty good ability to talk to each other about these things without outside help. Most of the time I don't feel the need for us to have separate counseling, just every once in a while. Since we talked, he's been really good at making sure he devotes some one on one time to Mini Wheat each evening.

Wisconsin Beth - the weekend went mostly well. Pop Tart got mad that she was grounded because weekends are supposed to be for fun. I pretty much reminded her that she was still under punishment and that being punished wasn't supposed to be fun, so perhaps she would remember this in the future. (You can guess how well that went over.)
We had a sister date and spent about 3.5 hours with Pop Tart's sister and her mother on Sunday. Mini Wheat did well with the littlest Pop.
Given that C spent most of the weekend not home (at a math conference on Saturday and a long planned get together with friends on Sunday), I honestly can't complain. Though I did tell him he doesn't get to be gone both days of a weekend again. 

[shanendoah]

Parenting epiphany today. It's probably something other people with kids Pop Tart's age will look at and go "duh" on (and probably some of you with younger kids, too), but I've been a parent less than 2 years, so sometimes my epiphanies aren't on schedule with my kid's age.

We try to give Pop Tart choices. Often those choices involve when she wants to do something. If it's something like practice her clarinet, you can bet that she ALWAYS chooses "later" over "sooner". And then the consequences of choosing "later" come up and she's very unhappy and feels stressed and like there's never time to do what she wants (forgetting she chose to do what she wanted earlier). And we just kind of say - well, you chose this, and make her practice, kind of assuming that she had thought it through.

Today's epiphany - she has NEVER thought through the consequence of her decision in these matters. She's a kid; she reflexively chooses "later" for something she feels she "HAS" to do. And facing the consequences isn't really teaching her to think things through, it's just making us seem mean for letting her "choose" something we knew would make her unhappy.
So, if I want her to learn to think through things, I need to talk/walk her through it. I need to tell her you can still choose sooner or later, but here's what I see happening if you choose sooner and here's what I see happening if you choose later.
There's also the realization that she doesn't have all the information I do about these things, or perhaps the better way to put it is the understanding of timelines, of how long things take. So I know in my mind that we're doing A activity until X time, so we won't be home until Y time, which leaves very little time in the evening. All Pop Tart thinks is "I'm done with A at X, and have all the time after X to do this other thing".

So yeah. I want her to be able to think through her decisions. And so I need to actually teach her how to think through her decisions, not just throw her in the deep end and expect her to figure it out.

[Deleted]

Why is she playing the clarinet if she doesn't like it?

My kids have occasionally had the 'you go first' argument when we get to guitar lessons... My response is, I drive all this way and pay for lessons, you best be fighting over who wants to go first.. Not who doesn't. We don't need to take guitar... Ends that fast ...

[shanendoah]

She wanted to play clarinet in band at school this year. The band teacher asked at the beginning of the year for a commitment of 100 minutes of practice a week (we do 20 minutes, 5 times a week, almost always needs to include the weekend because we have a couple very busy weeknights each week). What she doesn't like is practicing on the weekend when she has no other "homework", because she'd rather be watching TV. She actually likes playing when she plays.

She can choose not to participate in band next year, if that's what she wants. But the band teacher did ask parents and students for a commitment of the whole year, if they chose to participate (along with the practice time). We were asked to sign paperwork (parents and child) stating our commitment. We had long talks with Pop Tart before we signed that paperwork about what it would mean, and for the most part, she's very good about it.
But she is a kid. And as a kid, it's a weekend, and she doesn't want to do something the feels like "homework" even if she enjoys doing it.

To go along with that, we appear to be the only parents in band that actually took the practice time commitment seriously and hold their child to that much practice. She is pretty consistently ahead of her class and teaches herself new notes. We get tired of hearing what's in her book and print off other beginning clarinet music for her.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Interesting.  Part of me is going "Have a talk with the teacher and see what he/she actually expects and drop down to 80 minutes (or whatever) for the week" but then again - more practice reinforces the lessons and is a good thing.  And I'm sure playing is good for Pop Tart in a variety of ways. 

And your post about teaching her how think though decisions is something we need to work on with both kids.  I know I've walked K though the process a few times.  But not C at all. 

[Deleted]

She could practice during commercials. Or if you stream dvr, and a show is 22 minutes instead of 30, then do the next. 8 on clarinet before the next show... Something like that?

[shanendoah]

oped - She's limited to 2 hours of non-family screen time on weekend days (at least after 9am), and often doesn't even get that, so trying to work her practice in around screen time isn't always the best option (though it could be one). Saturday is our most likely day to miss practice. It's the "last day" of our practice week, and is often a very scheduled day. For example, last Saturday, C and I had 6 hours of CPR/First Aid training, so friends came and picked Pop Tart up at 9:15am. We met back up with them around 5:30pm, with Pop Tart having been out of the house all day (and running errands with them), and took them out to dinner. After dinner, Pop Tart and I had to go check in on the cats she was cat sitting, so we weren't home until after 8pm, which is when we usually start her bed time ritual. This Saturday, C will be running an RPG and one of the guys who comes brings his daughter, so Pop Tart will have a play date from about 10-3. I THINK we don't have anything planned after that, so she'll have time to practice, but it's possible she and C will set up a play date with another friend for late that afternoon.
Anyway, there's just often not a lot of time on Saturdays, which is why practice is most often missed on that day.
My epiphany came this Sunday as I was going over the family schedule including watching the Super Bowl (which we weren't doing at home), and realized that she had no concept of how long we would be gone, and what timelines would look like. And mean-ly, missing practice on Sunday isn't as big a deal, because it's the start of our week, and we'll just make her practice for 25 minutes the other four times she practices (or 30 minutes two of those times).

Wisconsin Beth - I don't stress too much when we miss practice on a Saturday, which puts us at 80 minutes for the week. And no, she probably doesn't NEED to practice a full 100 minutes a week, but it really helps her recognize that something can be hard when she starts it and easy if she practices it. It's been a really good general life lesson for her. Also, we are working on holding her to her commitments. While I understand the teacher doesn't really expect students to practice 100 minutes a week, no matter what the paperwork we all signed said, we sat down and discussed that paperwork with her and what it would mean, and she still really wanted to do this, so she needs to be held to her commitment.

As a note, she normally practices clarinet in front of us, so we are able to give some direction to practice but also comment on how much she's improved or give her honest feedback on sections she's having trouble with. And while she may not think of it that way, it's actually more interactive family time than what she would normally call family time (which is all of us watching a TV show together).

[Deleted]

Well, you mentioned tv. That's why I said it. Generally there are about 15 minutes of commercials an hour... So unavoidable delay used up nicely in practice.

The main thing was though if it was smaller chunk it might not seem as ugh...

And it's nice she practices to you, but probably not always necessary.

[raeoflyte]

Feb 1, 2015 16:05:05 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Parenting epiphany today. It's probably something other people with kids Pop Tart's age will look at and go "duh" on (and probably some of you with younger kids, too), but I've been a parent less than 2 years, so sometimes my epiphanies aren't on schedule with my kid's age.

We try to give Pop Tart choices. Often those choices involve when she wants to do something. If it's something like practice her clarinet, you can bet that she ALWAYS chooses "later" over "sooner". And then the consequences of choosing "later" come up and she's very unhappy and feels stressed and like there's never time to do what she wants (forgetting she chose to do what she wanted earlier). And we just kind of say - well, you chose this, and make her practice, kind of assuming that she had thought it through.

Today's epiphany - she has NEVER thought through the consequence of her decision in these matters. She's a kid; she reflexively chooses "later" for something she feels she "HAS" to do. And facing the consequences isn't really teaching her to think things through, it's just making us seem mean for letting her "choose" something we knew would make her unhappy.
So, if I want her to learn to think through things, I need to talk/walk her through it. I need to tell her you can still choose sooner or later, but here's what I see happening if you choose sooner and here's what I see happening if you choose later.
There's also the realization that she doesn't have all the information I do about these things, or perhaps the better way to put it is the understanding of timelines, of how long things take. So I know in my mind that we're doing A activity until X time, so we won't be home until Y time, which leaves very little time in the evening. All Pop Tart thinks is "I'm done with A at X, and have all the time after X to do this other thing".

So yeah. I want her to be able to think through her decisions. And so I need to actually teach her how to think through her decisions, not just throw her in the deep end and expect her to figure it out.

I'm still trying to teach that to my husband...  He has absolutely no concept that "later" isn't an indefinite period of time.  I'm thinking at 35 he'll never get it.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

Spent a chunk of Friday afternoon dealing with DD's hurt feelings.  One of her classmates told DD she was going to invite her to her party this weekend and didn't.  She may (or may not, it's hard to figure out) have said something to DD about not inviting her after all. 

I caught a whiff on Thursday when DD's best friend's mom was making arrangements with another mom for transportation.  She (the best friend's mom) is not happy that DD was excluded.  I'll probably hear more this week from her.  What I want to know is "Was DD the only one excluded?"  I feel so bad for my little girl.  Somehow it's worse if she was the only one excluded.  So we went out for dinner on Friday night to Culver's. 

Anyone got thoughts on how to address being left out? 

[raeoflyte]

Feb 16, 2015 8:29:38 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Spent a chunk of Friday afternoon dealing with DD's hurt feelings.  One of her classmates told DD she was going to invite her to her party this weekend and didn't.  She may (or may not, it's hard to figure out) have said something to DD about not inviting her after all. 

I caught a whiff on Thursday when DD's best friend's mom was making arrangements with another mom for transportation.  She (the best friend's mom) is not happy that DD was excluded.  I'll probably hear more this week from her.  What I want to know is "Was DD the only one excluded?"  I feel so bad for my little girl.  Somehow it's worse if she was the only one excluded.  So we went out for dinner on Friday night to Culver's. 

Anyone got thoughts on how to address being left out? 

Hugs Beth.  No suggestions.  I like to avoid conflict too much to be of any help on that kind of stuff.  

[shanendoah]

I don't know that it's much help, but we talk about these things, talk about how they make us feel, and use it to talk about the fact that sometimes people are mean, and we can't let that make us long term miserable. We also use it as a reminder as to why we shouldn't be mean ourselves.

[shanendoah]

When do you RSVP to a kid's birthday party? Only if you are coming? If people don't RSVP, should I assume they will be there, or that they won't?

We got Cupcake only 2 weeks before her birthday. We found a venue and have a party planned for this coming Saturday. We sent invitations to school with her last Friday for 4 friends (3 who she actually listed as her friends earlier that week, and a 4th she added that morning). Per Cupcake, the 4th girl simply tore up the invitation. Of the other three, we have only heard from one parent that the kid will be there. That's a 33% response rate. Is that good? Should I assume the other kids will be there? Not be there?

And should I ship in kids Cupcake doesn't really know? Right now, confirmed for the party, kid wise, we have Cupcake, Pop Tart, BB (Pop Tart's little sister), and one Cupcake friend. We still haven't gotten contact info for Cupcake's siblings yet, so haven't been able to invite them.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Would the social worker be able to pass on an invite to the siblings and/or their guardians? 

As for the other 2, since it's only 2, maybe send a text or email to the parents?  I guess it depends on what you're doing for Cupcake (I keep thinking it's a cupcake party, because I'm skimming) for example, DD's friend did a water park party.  She had further info to send out so she requested that everyone RSVP to her email so she'd be able to send out the details to the parents.  So, in short, if you didn't RSVP, you didn't get all the info.  I don't think she planned it to be like that but whatever works!

[shanendoah]

Wisconsin Beth - We got contact information from the social worker for the siblings. We got the info on Thurs for little sister, Fri for brothers. Still, all siblings were able to make it.
As for the school friends, we have no contact information for them. Cupcake doesn't even think in the terms of last names yet, so first names of first graders is all we had. Only the one friend who RSVP'd made it. Mom of that friend is also a friend of Cupcake's family (and brought Cupcake's bike to the party so that we could take it home).

It was an ice cream party. It went really well and ended up being fairly inexpensive. Between buying 4 pizzas from CostCo (two of which came home with us) and the ice cream and quarters for the video games at the ice cream place, I think we spend right around $100. Least expensive kid's party I've thrown. (Though to be fair, Pop Tart's last party was at a park and we invited a number of our friends in order to hang out, so the money was spent on cookout fixings as much for the adults as for the kids.)

[Wisconsin Beth]

I didn't realize the party was this weekend.  Sounds like she had a good time. 

We get a directory every year of the kids in the school.  It shows up sometime between Nov. and Jan. and it's broken down by classroom.  It includes contact info, as long as the parent submitted the form.  We were too late for K4 and didn't include all the info for K5. 

Are things still happy between the girls? 

*-*-
ETA - saw the update on the fostering world turns thread.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm happy we've got parent teacher conferences coming up.  I should probably start writing things down so it gets covered. 

But Keira's teaching herself to read in English.  Because she's in German Immersion, they don't teach reading in English until 2nd grade.  So she's learning to read in German in school and in English on her own.  I forsee us buying lots more books in German for her to read over the summer.  We've got a crapton+ of children's books in English so I am NOT worried about her finding reading material in English.  As far as I can figure out, she's doing great in learning to read and spell in German.  The spelling in English is creative, to say the least.  Some of it's because she's learning in German first but not all of it.  She was reading to Caleb over the weekend - one of the Farmer Brown/Duck books we have (Moo, Moo, Clack Clack maybe?)

Cabe's going to have "doctor's handwriting" I'm fairly sure.    But he's talking more and using a somewhat louder voice.  And in longer sentences/paragraphs (really, sometimes he justs gets started and doesn't stop) but he still won't talk about his speech classes.  At all.  He doesn't talk much about his school days either though.  I run into his teacher semi-regularly in the hallway doing pickup in the afternoons and she always assures me that he's doing awesome.  His handwriting/drawing is getting better too.  He was making mazes on the scribble sheets in church on Sunday.  I think I need to get him a book of mazes, we've got some on the Kindle but he seems to prefer them on paper.  And he lit up like the sunshine when he was flipping though the hymnal and saw all the music notes.  So he started singing the ABC song (in German) to whatever page he was on.  It was really sweet.  I need to make sure that his speech teacher is going to be available the night we're there for conferences, to get an update from her.  He's definitely more musical than Keira was/is. 

[azucena]

Beth - I'd see if the school will loan you German books over the summer.  Maybe let you come in once a month and pick up a new stash.  My 6 yo reads so quickly I'd go broke buying books.  We get 20 from the library each week.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Good thought.  I also can see what I can find on the Kindle too.  I may be able to switch languages from English to German on some of them. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

We got report cards for both kids yesterday.

Basically, both kids are a joy to have in the classroom and are doing well, per the comments section.  K got "proficients" for most of her graded areas and C got "3s" which I think translates into "Good"  His scale is either 0-4 or 1-4, with 4 being the best.  He had a bunch of "2s" last semester so he's showing improvement. 

Conferences are tonight.  I want to corner the speech path teacher because we get NOTHING out of C on what he's doing or how that's progressing.  Reassurance is a good thing. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Conferences were good.  K is ready for 2nd grade.  C will be fine in K5.  And no one is concerned over them missing time in April to go to Disney.   

We cornered the speech teacher first, we were a bit early and didn't have an appt. scheduled with her so when we asked in the office right after we got there, she was free so we spent about 10-15 minutes with her.  C is actually meeting with her twice a week, with 2 girls from K4.  She said he's progressing nicely and has come out of his shell.  He's working on K and SH sounds and she's thinking he will need to continue after this year.  Which is fine, we just wanted to know what was going on, since he won't talk about it.  She's going to try to make sure she labels anything from her "speech" so we can determine what's from her and what's from K4.  And encourage him to talk to us about her. 

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Oh, and I did find out - the party K wasn't invited to ended up being like 4 girls invited.  I also found out yesterday that K invited her best friend to go to Disney with us.    I told her no but either she invited first or ignored me.  On the plus side, while the girls might have taken the invite seriously, no one else is.  I've become friendly with the girl's mom and we often are picking up the kids at the same time.  So the mom and I talked about it a bit yesterday and all is good.