The older kid thread

[shanendoah]

Not low heat for the dryer- stuffed animals are too dense to get fully dry that way. And in WI, in the winter, they aren't going to dry out on their own very well afterwards.

[Deleted]

I do multiple low cycles because I worry about the the plastic fibers. YMMV

[shanendoah]

My parenting fail: Pop Tart fell asleep easily last night, and I was out of her room by a little after 9pm. But at 11pm, she was knocking on our door. She'd woken up and wanted one of us back in there while she fell back asleep. At 12:40am, she was finally back asleep (after having fallen asleep multiple times, but waking up with the slightest movement), I went to leave and closing the door woke her up. I told her to just go back to sleep, and went back to my bed. (BTW, I am totally getting sick and had a monstrous headache by that time.) 1:20am, she's back knocking on our door. I go back in, make her count to 100 while taking deep breaths. She's obviously tired but not letting herself fall asleep. I can feel myself reaching a frustration point and know I need to be done and in bed. So I told her she could play her DS3 until she was ready to fall asleep, but that I would not be staying and she would be going to school today, no matter how tired she was.

According to her, she played her DS for 10-20 minutes and then went to sleep. I know if I had stayed in there, it would have been another 90 minutes or more, so I don't really regret the decision, but I do feel bad for just giving in to technology. I probably should have made her read. (But she would have decided that was a punishment, and at 1:30am, feeling like I did, that was just not something I had the energy to deal with.)

[shanendoah]

@beerwench - that's actually why if her dryer has a sleeping bag setting, that would be ideal, since they are sensitive to high heat (nylon) but thick and hard to dry.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Shane, do you lay on the bed with her?  With my kids, I sometimes sit on the floor and rest my head on the mattress.  It's easier to get up and out without waking them.  I can still rub backs and whatever but the mattress isn't moving/creaking when I'm sneaking out. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 27, 2014 11:43:39 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

@beerwench - that's actually why if her dryer has a sleeping bag setting, that would be ideal, since they are sensitive to high heat (nylon) but thick and hard to dry.

Nope.  DH bought basic appliances when he bought the house.  I'm waiting for them to die so I can get better ones more suited to our lives. 

[shanendoah]

Wisconsin Beth - I sit on the foot of her bed (it's a twin xl, so there's plenty of room). Often at night, I get to a point where I stand up when she's mostly asleep and then stand in the doorway until she's all the way asleep.
But, just yesterday, she created a "fear ladder" for helping overcome her fear of falling asleep on her own at therapy. This weekend, we'll move a chair into the room and start sitting in that instead of on the bed with her.
Part of the problem is that we're in an older house and the floor is pretty creaky, so getting up off the floor is not exactly a quiet exercise.

Most nights, when she's asleep, she's asleep, nothing will wake her. But some nights, she's just fighting going to sleep so much that she wakes herself up at the slightest movement or sound.

[shanendoah]

I also have a ridiculously fancy w/d set (and I love them almost as much as my rice cooker). We knew we were getting a good deal when we bought them, but then we got home and researched more- we're pretty certain that the store accidentally posted the sale price of the washer as the set price, as I paid less for my energy & water efficient Fischer & Paykal top loaders (yes, the dryer is a top loader, too) than Lowes or HD wanted for their store brand sets.
But basically, that means I have a million settings for things I will never use, but others I never would have thought of that I'm not certain I could live without anymore.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Ok.  I'd forgotten if I'd mentioned it or not. 

And I've had nights with our kids where they're fighting sleep too.  Sucks.  Big time. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, I'm just waiting for them to die.  Which will probably happen around the time we commit to umteen dollars to a kitchen remodel. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Cabe slept all night long in his own bed and didn't pee!  Woohoo! 

[Deleted]

YAY! Hope you have many, many MANY more nights just like it!!!!

[taz157]

Feb 28, 2014 9:14:14 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

YAY! Hope you have many, many MANY more nights just like it!!!!

Yeah that!

[Wisconsin Beth]

God I sure hope so. 

[chen35]

Found out last night from DH's ex that stepson (9) has been lying about finishing his math homework. He's been saying he finished it at school. Apparently this has been going on for several weeks. The teacher finally e-mailed about it yesterday. He's been doing well on quizzes, so he gets it, he's just not doing the homework.

I was talking to him about it and I asked him, "Do you know why it's important to do your homework?" to which he shook his head, no, he didn't understand. In my head I'm thinking, "I don't understand either, you're 9!" I never had homework at that age. I know it's different now. I just talked to him about personal responsibility, and how ALL of the homework needs to get done this weekend, but I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 28, 2014 19:03:31 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Found out last night from DH's ex that stepson (9) has been lying about finishing his math homework. He's been saying he finished it at school. Apparently this has been going on for several weeks. The teacher finally e-mailed about it yesterday. He's been doing well on quizzes, so he gets it, he's just not doing the homework.

I was talking to him about it and I asked him, "Do you know why it's important to do your homework?" to which he shook his head, no, he didn't understand. In my head I'm thinking, "I don't understand either, you're 9!" I never had homework at that age. I know it's different now. I just talked to him about personal responsibility, and how ALL of the homework needs to get done this weekend, but I couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him. 

Lord I hope to never have this conversation with my kids bc no way in hell would I be able to keep a straight face and tell them to do "busy work" just for kicks and giggles.

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 28, 2014 9:11:49 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Cabe slept all night long in his own bed and didn't pee!  Woohoo! 

remind me again how old he is?

And when did you start the whole "no more diapers/pull ups" thing?  In other words, how long did it take from 0 to 100?

[shanendoah]

chen35 - coming from the parent of a kid who NEEDS to do the homework (and the extra time C and I spend talking with her about concepts), here's an idea of another way to approach it.
Explain that you know he gets the concepts and understands the work, but not every kid in his class does. Those kids NEED to do the homework in order to learn. And since the teacher can't have different rules for different kids, and it also wouldn't be nice for the teacher to point out who was "getting it" and who wasn't, they all have to do the homework. But, since he obviously understands it, it shouldn't take him that long to do.

[chen35]

shanendoah - that is not a bad idea, thanks! The thing is, I do think that, especially when it comes to math, there is value in repetition, even if you 'get it'. I just had a hard time putting that into words last week.
All but 4 of the math worksheets are complete! It was a long day Saturday, but we're almost there!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 28, 2014 19:21:52 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Feb 28, 2014 9:11:49 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Cabe slept all night long in his own bed and didn't pee!  Woohoo! 

remind me again how old he is?

And when did you start the whole "no more diapers/pull ups" thing?  In other words, how long did it take from 0 to 100?

He's 4.5, roughly.  I don't remember when we started no pullups during the day.  Last spring maybe or Christmas 2012?  Naps usually involved an accident. 

I think we started no pullups at naptime in the summer.  And no pullups at night we started around Christmas 2013, give or take a bit.  We're using the "pee pads" or Goodnight bed pads, which are about $10 for a pack of 9 or so.  But if he stays dry, we leave them on until he doesn't. 

So from diapers to no pullups and dry at night about 1/2 of the time has taken us a bit over a year, roughly.  I know damn well we did it the slow and painful way because there's other mommies that were done much faster than us. 

He did really well this weekend.  Except for fighting sleep.  But once he was down, he stayed down Sat. and Sun. night.  And he was dry all 3 nights.  The current pee pad went down on Wed. and he hadn't peed (or puked) on it since. 

If you're looking for the steps we used:
1. to pee and/or poop in the toilet - bribes.  My Mom used M&Ms at her house, we had a "pee/poop in the potty prize bag" full of cheap crap that I thought he'd like from Target.  Mostly from their $1 section but the odd clearance item made it in too.  I don't think day care used anything.  And we sometimes marked the calender in his room.  We did have a couple of larger/more expensive items that required several days in a row of no accidents in order to get. 
2. After he had peeing and/or pooping down, we stopped reminding him of the prize and if he didn't ask for one, he didn't get one. 
3. He mastered peeing first and for a LONG time pooped into a pullup at naptime.  Daily.  Since day care wasn't using pullups at naptime, he'd hold it in until bedtime.  Once I realized this, I made sure to keep a hand on his back and when I could feel him tensing, I'd scoop him up and would run like a demon to the bathroom and get him on toilet.  4. We read a LOT of potty books to him.  Often while he was sitting on the toilet.  Because he'd hold the poop in until he couldn't anymore. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Thanks Beth.

I am a VERY lazy parent, I don't "do" any kind of training, I wait for them to train themselves.

I only have one kid left in diapers and was thinking about getting him out of them, but then I remember how much work it seems to be.  So, I won't be doing anything.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 3, 2014 11:01:24 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Thanks Beth.

I am a VERY lazy parent, I don't "do" any kind of training, I wait for them to train themselves.

I only have one kid left in diapers and was thinking about getting him out of them, but then I remember how much work it seems to be.  So, I won't be doing anything.

His brothers will probably teach him too.  Or he'll want to do what they're doing.  I'd play that up some. 

I was just so damn tired of dealing with other people's poop, either from wiping their butts or cleaning their underwear. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 3, 2014 11:04:31 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Mar 3, 2014 11:01:24 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Thanks Beth.

I am a VERY lazy parent, I don't "do" any kind of training, I wait for them to train themselves.

I only have one kid left in diapers and was thinking about getting him out of them, but then I remember how much work it seems to be.  So, I won't be doing anything.

His brothers will probably teach him too.  Or he'll want to do what they're doing.  I'd play that up some. 

I was just so damn tired of dealing with other people's poop, either from wiping their butts or cleaning their underwear. 

I've been changing diapers for over 5.5 yrs straight.

So far, we just picked a weekend and told DS1 and DS2 - you are done, here is your underwear, off you go.  They were certainly old enough.  We did pull ups for a few weeks and that was it. 

One of my ex-pediatricians ( I have many) told me that you either do it by 9-10 months or wait until they are ready to make it as easy and effortless for yourself.  Needless to say, I didn't do it when they were 9-10 months.

I thought that my oldest was a fluke, it was just so damn easy.  But the exact same thing happened with DS2.  Now, I just have to hope and pray that the last kid takes after them.

[Wisconsin Beth]

There was a columnist who did a column on parenting/motherhood/etc.  She had 12 kids.  She said she didn't potty train most of them but by the time they started kindergarten, they were trained. 

She's also the one who finally got her house completely fixed up and a tornado blew it to bits.  She said the easiest way to houseshop was with a check from the insurance company.  She's not Erma Bombeck but I can't recall her name offhand.  Theresa something or other, possibly. 

[whoisjohngalt]

I couldn't get DS2 out of diapers.  He would look at me and tell me that he is not going on the toilet and I HAVE to change his diaper.  It was cute for the first 5 seconds and then I was pretty annoyed.

So I told my husband to deal with it.  He handed him underwear and send him on his way.  We had 3-4 accidents at home and 1 at a restaurant.  I think we are all good now

[raeoflyte]

Evie wasn't even walking until 13 months--I can't imagine potty training when they are still crawling but maybe that's my laziness coming through?  We are going to bring up the little potty for Evie and see if she has any interest in it but I'm not going to hold my breath.  

[chen35]

We still have issues with DS9 holding it until it causes issues. Except for when he had to do math all day Saturday. Apparently taking time to go to the bathroom isn't such a hassle when you're doing something you hate. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 3, 2014 11:30:51 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Evie wasn't even walking until 13 months--I can't imagine potty training when they are still crawling but maybe that's my laziness coming through?  We are going to bring up the little potty for Evie and see if she has any interest in it but I'm not going to hold my breath.  

I don't think the idea is for them to go by themselves, but let the parent know that they need to go. 

Where I am from, women went back to work when the kid turned 1, so I think most everybody trained their offsprings by that time

I actually tried it with my oldest when he was ~10 mo old, but it lasted less than a minute bc I was already pregnant with #2 and had less than zero interest in getting off the couch more than I had to

[Deleted]

I was 7 months pregnant when DD turned 1, so we brought the potty chair out on her Birthday and then didn't get serious about training until she turned 2 (which is about the time I got 6 hours of sleep in a row  ).

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 3, 2014 12:47:14 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

I was 7 months pregnant when DD turned 1, so we brought the potty chair out on her Birthday and then didn't get serious about training until she turned 2 (which is about the time I got 6 hours of sleep in a row  ).

wait, what?

so you got pregnant when she was 5 mo old?

holy crap