susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 5, 2012 20:50:58 GMT -5
One of my co-workers tells me something ridiculous about money at least once a week. I am not interested in changing my co-workers mind about anything (it wouldn't work). I just want to be as agreeable as possible and get along. However, the comments are so far from my reality that I can't completely agree. I usually just say "right" or "okay."
Examples:
"I am only 42, so I don't need to worry about saving for retirement yet."
"Everyone know that leasing is the best decision if you are going to buy a new car every two years."
"Eating out is cheaper than cooking" (Married co-worker has three meals a day in a sit down restaurant or gets take out from a sit down restaurant).
What do you say when people who you need to have a cordial relationship with tell you absurd things about money?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 5, 2012 20:52:50 GMT -5
Smile and nod.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 5, 2012 20:56:46 GMT -5
Smile and nod....So simple. I always feel pressure to respond verbally, but I don't have to.....Hmmm, I am going to try this.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 5, 2012 20:56:52 GMT -5
I start laughing with my WTF face on!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2012 21:32:50 GMT -5
"I am only 42, so I don't need to worry about saving for retirement yet."
I know what you mean - lots of people are worried about the stock market's volatility, but since we are investing for the long haul, we don't need to worry about it now.
"Everyone know that leasing is the best decision if you are going to buy a new car every two years."
That's true. Of course, you could also not buy a new car every two years. That's an even better deal than leasing.
"Eating out is cheaper than cooking" (Married co-worker has three meals a day in a sit down restaurant or gets take out from a sit down restaurant).
You're right. Ovens are a couple of hundred bucks. Pans can be expensive. And don't get me started on Kitchen Aid mixers! You really don't break even for the first year or so. Of course, if you plan to continue eating after that, it may be worth running the numbers again...
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 5, 2012 21:41:26 GMT -5
Another absentee-look smiler and nodder here
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 21:49:51 GMT -5
It sounds like she is just regurgitating sound bites from commercials that sell such ignorance. Just smile and don't make eye contact.
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Catseye
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Post by Catseye on Nov 5, 2012 21:50:08 GMT -5
"That's cool." Lather, rinse, repeat.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 22:06:07 GMT -5
I say a quick silent prayer that I was born with a brain and the ability to use it. Every once in a while somebody will say something so financially dumb I can't stop myself from making a WTF face, or asking if they're screwing with me. That's kind of awkward.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2012 22:09:06 GMT -5
I don't say anything. Everyone has their own "way" which may be right or wrong for them. If they truly ask my opinion, i will give it . Otherwise you are simply wasting your breath, time and energy for someone who isn't going to listen to you anyway.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 5, 2012 22:13:38 GMT -5
"That's cool." Lather, rinse, repeat. I like this one too. I can alternate between "that's cool" and smiling and nodding.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 5, 2012 22:16:25 GMT -5
I don't say anything. Everyone has their own "way" which may be right or wrong for them. If they truly ask my opinion, i will give it . Otherwise you are simply wasting your breath, time and energy for someone who isn't going to listen to you anyway. I don't try and convince my co-worker of anything (related to finances) or give my opinion. But complete silence wouldn't really work in our social dynamic since we interact daily about projects and our lives (not that it doesn't work for you). I would enjoy it and it would rattle my co-workers cage, but it wouldn't lead to the kind of work harmony I am gunning for.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Nov 5, 2012 23:15:09 GMT -5
I usually just snort. ;D
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Nov 5, 2012 23:39:11 GMT -5
First, it's a lot easier for me because I don't feel the need to have cordial relationships with everybody. And second, while there are people who will ask me things, there really aren't any who will "tell" me stuff like that. I'm pretty authoritative on a number of things, that being one. But if it did happen, I'd immediately question them with something like, "You're kidding, right?" Or, "Are you serious?" I would never quietly allow utter BS to stand unchallenged. Just can't do it.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 6, 2012 2:40:21 GMT -5
That's cool. Glad you are in a position where your financial future isn't intertwined with politics. Since my co-worker is a key member of our team, making comments about their personal life that piss them off would mean I was the one making foolhardy money comments.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2012 6:42:06 GMT -5
I don't say anything. Everyone has their own "way" which may be right or wrong for them. If they truly ask my opinion, i will give it . Otherwise you are simply wasting your breath, time and energy for someone who isn't going to listen to you anyway. I don't try and convince my co-worker of anything (related to finances) or give my opinion. But complete silence wouldn't really work in our social dynamic since we interact daily about projects and our lives (not that it doesn't work for you). I would enjoy it and it would rattle my co-workers cage, but it wouldn't lead to the kind of work harmony I am gunning for. I didn't say i wouldn't have a friendly chat. I would and i might toss in how i manage my money, yada, yada. But, i wouldn't have any expectation that the person would take my advice or change their way of doing things.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2012 6:44:19 GMT -5
First, it's a lot easier for me because I don't feel the need to have cordial relationships with everybody. And second, while there are people who will ask me things, there really aren't any who will "tell" me stuff like that. I'm pretty authoritative on a number of things, that being one. But if it did happen, I'd immediately question them with something like, "You're kidding, right?" Or, "Are you serious?" I would never quietly allow utter BS to stand unchallenged. Just can't do it. "Authoritative" in what regard? Just because i think i know how money is best handled or any other subject doesn't give me any authority to dictate to another. It is their life and their money and they can manage it however they please. When people talk, the vast majority of the time they aren't asking for anyone's advice or opinion.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Nov 6, 2012 8:28:16 GMT -5
Susanb, count your blessings. The key member of your team will be around for a long time - she'll never be able to afford to quit or retire.
On some comments, you could probably get away with "Really?" Me, I'd probably say "if you say so" in a manner that made it totally obvious that I didn't agree (but I know that's not what you want to do.
I actually wish there was some way you could help this woman - but I realize some people just can't be helped.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 6, 2012 8:49:41 GMT -5
I know what you mean, sometimes these comments are so startling it's hard not to blurt something out. I've been researching a new car for a while and a younger co-worker has been dogging me. He asked me again if I'd bought the car yet and I told him I was in the process of researching the pricing. He wanted to know why. I told him I wanted to know the actual price the dealership paid for the car so I could negotiate a good deal and not pay too much, so I could pay the car off ASAP. He rolled his eyes and said in the time it took me to buy my car he has bought and sold two other cars. I told him I buy a car and keep it until the wheels fall off, I don't try to trade up over time, so getting a good deal is important. He looked at me and said "Yeah, my wife and I tried that whole living cheap thing, that living on a budget thing, but we were staying at home all the time, never having any fun, so we stopped." I stood there like a deer in the headlights, not sure what to say. I think finally I laughed weakly. Another co-worker made the comment "well, you might want to save a little back in case you need a nursing home or something later in life" and the young man laughed and said he would hire a hooker to flash her boobs at him just before she shoved him over a cliff in his wheelchair. So, at least he has a plan... I figure finances, like sex, religion and politics, are things you don't discuss except with your most intimate relations.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Nov 6, 2012 9:00:43 GMT -5
I think I would be tempted to respond with something to make them think
Retirement: Tax deductions are nice.
Leasing: But, then then you have to get used to a new car. Or, I don't want to worry about getting a ding on it.
Restaurant: it"s not cheaper when you include tips. Or, They always take so long and mess up the order.
Generally stupid: have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey (or Suze Orman)?
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Nov 6, 2012 9:15:02 GMT -5
"Eating out is cheaper than cooking" (Married co-worker has three meals a day in a sit down restaurant or gets take out from a sit down restaurant).
You're right. Ovens are a couple of hundred bucks. Pans can be expensive. And don't get me started on Kitchen Aid mixers! You really don't break even for the first year or so. Of course, if you plan to continue eating after that, it may be worth running the numbers again...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 6, 2012 9:16:31 GMT -5
karma for craftysarah when I can. ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2012 10:01:31 GMT -5
I used to love to debate comments like this, but as I've gotten older, I realized it's kind of pointless. I'll sometimes offer my opinion and if they want to talk about it I will but I'm not very passionate about winning them over anymore. I figure someone has to buy those new cars and if they have to work until they're 80 that doesn't really affect me either.
One of the comments that used to drive me nuts when I worked the production floor was "I make less when I work overtime because they tax me more". <sigh>
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2012 12:14:11 GMT -5
I used to say "whatever, Mom". I stopped doing that about a year ago when I learned more about her situation. If my brother and I can't get her financials back on tract, we are in for a world of hurt when she wants to retire. Now I speak my mind. At work, I have become something of a personal finance guru (not sure how that happened ). We just had three new clinicians start, all of them fresh out of grad school. Our supervisor sends them to me when they have questions (retirement options, taxes, life insurance, etc). I never give them "here's what you should do" answers. I always just explain the options, why they're different, pros and cons, etc.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 6, 2012 12:15:42 GMT -5
I tell them that they should liquidate all of their assets and invest in gold, because you can't lose!
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 6, 2012 12:34:49 GMT -5
If it someone I like and am willing to have an actual conversation with, then I'd respond as follows :
"I am only 42, so I don't need to worry about saving for retirement yet" I started saving early so I don't have to WORRY about it at all.
"Everyone know that leasing is the best decision if you are going to buy a new car every two years." That is true IF you are the type to buy a new car every two years. I preferred to drive mine until they die.
"Eating out is cheaper than cooking (Married co-worker has three meals a day in a sit down restaurant or gets take out from a sit down restaurant). On what planet?
Or if I didn't really want to have a conversation- I'd just give them the WTE look and start laughing.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Nov 6, 2012 13:44:06 GMT -5
I'd probably agree enthusiastically and say "Yes, that is sooo smart!". Remember, overconsumption leads to great stock performance.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Nov 6, 2012 16:06:40 GMT -5
My response depends on how much I like the person and how involved I want to get. If I don't know them well or care for them much I will make an offhand comment, "I'm jealous you eat out so much, we blew our restaurant money on our roof and now I am stuck cooking..."
If it is someone that I really like (which is usually the case for someone telling me financial stuff) I will tell them seriously that they may be spending more on the restaurants than they realize and try to talk them into totaling it up for a month, or offer to sit down with them and help them set up a budget.
I actually have never had anyone tell me they were too young to start saving for retirement, although some have said they were too broke to do so.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Nov 7, 2012 2:18:38 GMT -5
First, it's a lot easier for me because I don't feel the need to have cordial relationships with everybody. And second, while there are people who will ask me things, there really aren't any who will "tell" me stuff like that. I'm pretty authoritative on a number of things, that being one. But if it did happen, I'd immediately question them with something like, "You're kidding, right?" Or, "Are you serious?" I would never quietly allow utter BS to stand unchallenged. Just can't do it. "Authoritative" in what regard? Just because i think i know how money is best handled or any other subject doesn't give me any authority to dictate to another. It is their life and their money and they can manage it however they please. When people talk, the vast majority of the time they aren't asking for anyone's advice or opinion. Definition of AUTHORITATIVE
1 b: clearly accurate or knowledgeable I never give specific advice to anyone else. I may explain what I do and why, but their situation may be different and they have to do what is right for them. I give information and options. But there isn't really anyone I talk money with who thinks they know enough to "tell" me anything.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Nov 7, 2012 7:53:42 GMT -5
DH worked for a union company but was a manager. Wages for regular employees were all the same for years of service. Managers however could be different from each other if their manager gave one of them a raise. DH's supervisor told him and another manager that he was giving them a raise. After a few paychecks went by, the other guy asked DH if he had gotten his raise yet. He asked to see DH's paycheck. (IN PRIVATE. BIG NO NO). After looking at DH's stub, the other guy said 'where are all of your deductions?' DH told him they were all there. Insurance, 401k, life insurance, stock options, and some other something. When DH looked at his co-workers stub, he had 6 maybe 7 loans through the company credit Union. Mortgage, 2 car loans, 1 boat loan, and 2 personal loans. Maybe a second mortgage.
How the guy brought ANY money home is beyond me. And until then DH thought some of his co-workers had money. Because they were always eating lunch out, driving a new car, going on hunting/fishing trips,etc...
Maybe that was when DH realized what I had been telling him all along. just because people look and act like they have money, doesn't mean they do.
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