Little boy princess

[Green Eyed Lady]

I'm guessing, Dark, that he did misread the post he quoted. I won't make the leap that he is unable to comprehend as I've misread a post or two myself and I can guarantee you I have no comprehension issues.

[Deleted]

How do you even comment on men being effeminate in responce to the statement you highlighted?

The qualities that make people 'bad' are unisex... what makes a man bad that doesn't make a woman bad? .... or vice versa?

[Sum Dum Gai]

I'm guessing, Dark, that he did misread the post he quoted.

Could be, but nobody put any words in his mouth. He may have misspoke, or misread, or whatever, but everyone responded based the words he typed in his post. Not something we imagined he said.

[movingforward]

Oct 3, 2012 12:51:05 GMT -5 oped said:

How do you even comment on men being effeminate in responce to the statement you highlighted?

The qualities that make people 'bad' are unisex... what makes a man bad that doesn't make a woman bad? .... or vice versa?

[weltschmerz]

So what quality out there would make someone a good woman if they possess it but a bad man if they did.
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Ovulating.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Could be, but nobody put any words in his mouth. He may have misspoke, or misread, or whatever, but everyone responded based the words he typed in his post. Not something we imagined he said.

I think the shit about a man beating a woman was "something imagined". Maybe I missed it, tho.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Good man trait: assertiveness. In a woman: bitchy

Good female trait: sensitivity. In a man: pansy

Men are supposed to be strong aggressive go-getters. Women are supposed to be demure, delicate modest creatures.

That's all I got off the top of my head. I am not entirely sure how wearing a dress makes a woman a good woman and wearing pants make a man a good man. I am an assertive bitch and I wear girly things all the time. Maybe my mother didn't train me properly.

[Deleted]

I'm sure they did... and i'm sure it had very little to do with their clothes... let alone their halloween costumes.

[kgb18]

I am an assertive bitch and I wear girly things all the time. Maybe my mother didn't train me properly.

Same here. ;D

[movingforward]

Oct 3, 2012 13:02:13 GMT -5 @bloomscuzzer said:

Dress your kid however you want. Put a little boy in a princess outfit. I did the best I could with my girls. They turned out great.

But probably not because you made them wear a dress once a week.

[kgb18]

I'm sure they did... and i'm sure it had very little to do with their clothes... let alone their halloween costumes.

Exactly. The things that make a good parent a good parent and a good kid a good kid have nothing to do with how they dress, on a daily basis or for costumes. You can't force a child to be manly or girly any more than you can make them gay or feminine/masculine because of how they dress or dress up.

[happyhoix]

Oct 3, 2012 13:02:13 GMT -5 @bloomscuzzer said:

Dress your kid however you want. Put a little boy in a princess outfit. I did the best I could with my girls. They turned out great.

Well, I bought my son a Snow White doll at Disney (he asked for it - he was 3) and a Barbie the same year (he also asked for it) and when he wanted to take ballet class with the other kids (all girls) in his day care class, I let him. He was Winnie the Pooh and they were all trees at their dance recital. It was adorable and he had fun.

Despite all that, he also turned out great, too. Not gay (although I wouldn't care if he was, just stating that playing with dolls didn't 'turn' him). And I think if you had let your girls wear pants 100% of the time, play with trucks and sign up for little league baseball they would have still turned out great, too.

My point is, I think you're making this waaaay too big an issue. Adults get hung up on sexual stereotypes. Kids do not, unless they're taught them.

[weltschmerz]

Once when my oldest was mad about something, I told her to tell me about it. I listened and offered some sympathy. That didn't make her turn out great either. Still I think it was a good thing.
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Once?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm still trying to think of where it is that I would be more accepted if I wore a dress vs pants.

I suppose a super formal black tie event it might be a little odd depending on who is attending if I wore a tuxedo vs a ballgown but that's the only exception I can think of.

[Green Eyed Lady]

lol

[Sum Dum Gai]

Good man trait: assertiveness. In a woman: bitchy

Good female trait: sensitivity. In a man: pansy

Men are supposed to be strong aggressive go-getters. Women are supposed to be demure, delicate modest creatures.

You are officially never allowed to talk about life with my daughters.

[movingforward]

Oct 3, 2012 13:15:29 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'm still trying to think of where it is that I would be more accepted if I wore a dress vs pants.

I suppose a super formal black tie event it might be a little odd depending on who is attending if I wore a tuxedo vs a ballgown but that's the only exception I can think of.

I kept wondering the same thing. That is about all I could come up with as well. I suppose if I had attended my high school prom in a tuxedo I might have gotten some odd looks...

[mmhmm]

There are very elegant formal pants suits; usually, palazzo pants. I don't care how formal the event is, one of these ensembles would be more than acceptable, I'm sure. Good gosh! The Victorian Age is over. Really. It is. We've even escaped, unscathed, from the 1950s!

[milee]

Oct 3, 2012 13:01:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Good man trait: assertiveness. In a woman: bitchy

Good female trait: sensitivity. In a man: pansy

Men are supposed to be strong aggressive go-getters. Women are supposed to be demure, delicate modest creatures.

This is still true in many business settings and part of why it is sometimes harder for women to get promotions. The behaviour that gets men promoted gets women labeled a Bitch. Some examples from when I was in the corporate world:

The men were / I was
Leader / Not a Team Player
Strong-Willed / Bitchy
Decisive / Pushy
Willing to Make the Hard Choices / Doesn't Care About Other's Feelings
Confident / Arrogant

When a man got a motorcycle as a toy, it was considered cool. When I got one, I was called a Ball Breaker.

One of the partners who I was close enough friends with for him to be honest explained that part of why women didn't make partner was that they couldn't tap into the social network as easily. He could go golfing or to a bar with my male peers, but his wife would kill him if he did any of those things with a 20 something year old blonde woman. I did get invited out to the strip club with a client once, but that's a whole 'nother story.

I worked twice as hard as the men just to stay even in the promotion ranks. I took the toughest assignments and made them into winners and that's why I was at the top of the raises, even though they were horrified that a women would act in the way I acted - just like one of the successful men.

*** Oh, and we had a dress code that specifically said no pants on women. I wore them anyway in very expensive Chanel suits. F them. ***

Steve, if this is the kind of BS your daughters face because of gender stereotypes, doesn't it make sense for us to examine our societal bias and see if we can improve things?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You are officially never allowed to talk about life with my daughters

Who else is going to teach them to walk in heels and a dress? You?

Oh wait. ..



I thought of another one. I had to wear a white skit underneath my graduation gown in high school. I really doubt they would have prevented me from graduating though fi I had chosen to refuse.

I get the difference between have to look formal/professional vs casual but I can't think of a single instance where it would have benefited me more to be wearing a dress/skirt than pants.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When a man got a motorcycle as a toy, it was considered cool. When I got one, I was called a Ball Breaker.



I have this mental picture of you now in leather chaps with a fringe jacket and a biker helmet with a spike on it.

Willing to Make the Hard Choices / Doesn't Care About Other's Feelings

I get that one all the time. Then if you do consider other people you are a wishy washy overly emotional/sensitive female.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Who else is going to teach them to walk in heels and a dress?

And they need to learn this because?

[Green Eyed Lady]

And they need to learn this because?

Have you SEEN woman walk in heels when they don't know how to walk in heels? They look like Herman Munster. Somebody needs to teach them!

[weltschmerz]

I wore white lace pants to my graduation, with a matching white lace top and long coat. Wore the same thing to my first wedding.

[mmhmm]

Oct 3, 2012 13:02:13 GMT -5 @bloomscuzzer said:

Dress your kid however you want. Put a little boy in a princess outfit. I did the best I could with my girls. They turned out great.

I raised a boy AND a girl. I raised them pretty much the same. The boy played with dolls at one point in his childhood. The girl climbed trees. They both turned out great. So? Where does that get us?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

And they need to learn this because?

So can they be good people DUH. Isn't that what we are discussing?


Honestly I wear heels to camoflage the fact that I am 5 foot tall.

That's the only real advantage I can see for wearing heels instead of flats. I generally get taken more seriously if I appear "taller".

[milee]

Oct 3, 2012 13:23:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

When a man got a motorcycle as a toy, it was considered cool. When I got one, I was called a Ball Breaker.



I have this mental picture of you now in leather chaps with a fringe jacket and a biker helmet with a spike on it.

I didn't wear chaps or fringe, but there may have been a leather jacket involved.

I had fun wearing the high heeled motorcycle boots with my expensive suits. It was even more fun to waltz into a tough client meeting and plunk my helmet down on the table at the start. For some reason, the difficult clients tended to pipe down a little after that.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Have you SEEN woman walk in heels when they don't know how to walk in heels? They look like Herman Munster. Somebody needs to teach them!

Why do they need to wear heels in the first place? Both my kids are already taller than the boys in their class. The last thing they need is another 3-6 inches from their footwear, and the screwed up feet women get from walking around on tiptoe their entire life.

[weltschmerz]

Honestly I wear heels to camoflage the fact that I am 5 foot tall.
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I wear heels to catch myself a manly man.

[milee]

Oct 3, 2012 13:25:00 GMT -5 @bloomscuzzer said:

Steve, if this is the kind of BS your daughters face because of gender stereotypes, doesn't it make sense for us to examine our societal bias and see if we can improve things?

I got two sisters, no brothers, two daughters, no sons, three granddaughters, no grandsons. I am all for women having every opportunity men have.

The answer isn't to make men and women unisex.

Agree - no need to be unisex. But let's stop judging others based on what they're wearing. Or expect them to wear certain things. That would be a good start.