February 2011 Controlled/No Spend Thread

[mizbear]

spruby- I know it is the mindfulness that I need to start with and that I am not keeping god track because I am focusing on school right now- but I hate excuses- even when they are good/ the right ones.

[3catslady]

mizbear; It has taken me 3 years to get at least 15 CS/NS days. I am still eating out more than I want to so that is what I am working on now. I would like to get at least one month with 1 eating out and the rest CS/NS days. It is hard to do but I am working on it. My next project is to start sending monies to savings but I am only working on 1 project at a time.
I have my fridge just about cleaned out of "things". Next I have to get some hot water and clean it out. I will be working on that this week.
Remember that I told you that they were cutting hours at work? Before the Holiday's I was working 26-32 hours a week, now I am working 33-38 hours a week. So much for cutting hours. One person quit. One just wants to work 1 day a month. Another has been calling off and coming in late since he started. He states he has 2 jobs and sometimes 5 jobs, depending on who he is talking to.

[mizbear]

3 cats- I clean my fridge with those antibacterial wipes or a cleaning spray- but it is one housework item I am good about keeping up with- my parents were horrible housekeepers. Our fridge was a biohazard unless you wanted canned soda.
I expect myself to be able to jump into this the way I jump into school work. I know it doesn't happen that way, but I expect it. I generally don't eat out unless I am invited to eat out - except when my favorite band comes to town- but it looks like my favorite bar screwed up and I will have to plan a trip to go see them now.

[Deleted]

I am very upset, my mom and my fMIL are really upsetting me. So my fMIL sent me a text that she sent my mom. I do not know why she also sent it to me. The part that upset me is that she said that we are not including her or my mother in anything and not understanding how emotionally important for the mothers to feel a part of it. I forwarded it my mom and then asked if she felt that way and apparently she felt the same. She has not given opinions because I would not listen to her. Lets see, she thought we should elope but she should be there. My mom and I have not had a good relationship and I have other people in my life way more important in my life than her, I won't exclude them for her. She said that if she had decided the wedding it would only 20 people (that would just include my DF's close family). She basically accused me of being a bridezilla because I want to plan it and because I won't do what she wants. How is making decisions for my wedding bad or being a bridezilla? Why is this about them? My mom is treating me so stilted and cold. I am grateful that my mom has helped me look for places and paid $500 for alcohol and his mom is paying my the rehearsal dinner but I am so angry at them. My mom has made every important event (high school grad, prom, and college grad etc) a problem, she has yelled at me at both grads for things I had not control over.

ETA: I am also upset that if my mom felt that way she was hiding it and now after spending time with my DF's mom she is treating me like I am doing something wrong for expecting their opinion to be secondary to mine and my DF's. My mom is saying the right thing with the tone she always takes when she means the opposite.

[MittenKitten]

gin: Sorry to hear of your troubles. I would compose a letter or e-mail to both of them stating that you appreciate that they want to be a part of the planning process. With that being said this is YOUR day and DF's day thus you will do things the way you desire them to be and hope they will respect that and still want to be part of the planning process. If they do not then you respect their wishes. Save the draft, reread it and send it.

I avoid sending some really hurtful things that won't improve the situation by writing an e-mail/letter letting it sit for a couple of hours/days then rereading it and at times having someone else read it and tell me their opinion.

Anyways good luck and hugs!

[WholeLottaNothin]

Gin - Sorry to hear of your troubles. Not too much advice here, just when I was getting married my fMIL was a tad overbearing and had too many suggestions. I would just smile but only ended up including what I liked or felt I should to keep the peace.

Final Update - 11 NSD's. I also ate out for lunch 4 times this month. So much for trying to not do that at all. Sometimes this job just gets to me and I need a break, which I know is an excuse and I should just stop. Especially with a little one on the way and knowing I'll need all the money I can get. Not sure if I told you ladies, but the little one is a BOY! So excited ;D

[MittenKitten]

March's thread is up! It is on the WIRR page or you can click here:

notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=wir&thread=4048

[sheilaincali]

final update for February: 19/20 NS, 24/25 NEO

So close! Missed it by "that much". Oh well. March is a new month.

Today I was reminded again that it's a good thing my parents didn't name me Grace. Fell down the 3 steps on to the concrete floor in the garage. Both of my ankles ended up tucked up under me and I fell straight down on to the concrete. DS went running for DH and he helped me up. Moving slow now. Everything thing hurts. Thinking I may call it an early day and go home and elevate and ice my ankles. No fun at all.

[shanendoah]

Update: 10 of 11 NSD, 4 of 8 MOAN
Hopefully today will be an NSD and I'll meet my goal. If I don't, well, its my fault for giving in to the vending machine last week. I didn't exercise on Thursday because DH's class was cancelled due to bad weather, so I helped him cook instead. I did exercise on Saturday when DH and the roomie went to a movie.
DH went on a cooking binge these last few nights so that we would have left overs for this week. Sitting in the fridge at home, we have arroz con pollo, orange bourbon chicken, and coq au vin. I love it when he cooks.

gin: For dealing with your fMIL, I'd suggest you talk to DF and have him handle his mom. I know you want to have a good relationship with her, but I have found that for some things, the in-law half needs to delegate to the actual blood relative. You wouldn't expect DF to deal with your mom, so don't let him expect you to handle his. The two of you need to agree on mom boundaries, and then you both need to enforce them.

sheila: I will tell you the same thing I told my friend Gayle (who fell down while walking down the street and required 6 stitches in her knee) - stop hurting yourself. But really, *hugs* and hope you are feeling better soon. Definitely call it a day early and get home and ice those ankles.
Also, I know you've said you've never been graceful, but it seems like you've had a lot of balance issues lately. You might want to get in to see your doctor and see if have an inner ear infection. I can't pass the walk a straight line field sobriety test stone cold sober, but I don't generally fall down unless there's something else going on. Just something to think about.

[Deleted]

Feb 28, 2011 11:04:07 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Update: 10 of 11 NSD, 4 of 8 MOAN
Hopefully today will be an NSD and I'll meet my goal. If I don't, well, its my fault for giving in to the vending machine last week. I didn't exercise on Thursday because DH's class was cancelled due to bad weather, so I helped him cook instead. I did exercise on Saturday when DH and the roomie went to a movie.
DH went on a cooking binge these last few nights so that we would have left overs for this week. Sitting in the fridge at home, we have arroz con pollo, orange bourbon chicken, and coq au vin. I love it when he cooks.

gin: For dealing with your fMIL, I'd suggest you talk to DF and have him handle his mom. I know you want to have a good relationship with her, but I have found that for some things, the in-law half needs to delegate to the actual blood relative. You wouldn't expect DF to deal with your mom, so don't let him expect you to handle his. The two of you need to agree on mom boundaries, and then you both need to enforce them.

sheila: I will tell you the same thing I told my friend Gayle (who fell down while walking down the street and required 6 stitches in her knee) - stop hurting yourself. But really, *hugs* and hope you are feeling better soon. Definitely call it a day early and get home and ice those ankles.
Also, I know you've said you've never been graceful, but it seems like you've had a lot of balance issues lately. You might want to get in to see your doctor and see if have an inner ear infection. I can't pass the walk a straight line field sobriety test stone cold sober, but I don't generally fall down unless there's something else going on. Just something to think about.

Shan, I do have him deal with her but then she gets upset that I don't have time for her. She will call/text and except me to jump. When I tell her I can't do X right now but I will get in info later or she can talk to her son, he can get it as easy as I can she get mad at me. She sent me a text saying men don't deal with weddings well, she could tell he was stresses and her family has anxiety issues and those could come out in a stressful situation and cause my DF not to marry me. She, also, blames me for whatever boundaries he gives even if I had nothing to do with it.

[sheilaincali]

Shanen: I will give that some thought if I fall again. This morning I was looking at DS (who was standing next to my car) and joking with him and just totally walked off the top step like it was the bottom one. Of course I have done that before too. I will give it some serious consideration- but it has to wait until April when I have insurance again. Can't afford $1500 cobra premiums while DH is laid off.

[dianartemis]

sheila: I'm so glad I'm not alone in doing that!

start: pace yourself woman!

This weekend I had an interesting conversation about budgetting with my parents. They're trying to get one set up and can pay off all non-mortgage debt in 14 months (accounting for Murphy, less if Murphy doesn't show). It was an interesting experience as my DOM dislikes talking about $$$. She'd ostrich if my DOD would let her. I'm glad that they asked for help, but at the same time I was wiggin' a bit. I mean, they are my parents!

[mizbear]

gin- I know this probably won't help- but after having 3 different MILs, I can say- sometimes you just can't please them! I haven't had a man in my life for years- not for wanting one- but I still hear about all of my mistakes from my DGM. You may have to take a breath and let it roll.

[azmom]

Hello...I feel like I have been MIA forever and sadly it will continue. I am just so super swamped with life...in a very good way. I just completed another race....me and group of 11 other girls just ran 197 miles in 31:51:05 relay style. It was an amazing experience! Anyhow, yesterday DH and went out and spent money and it felt so good to have a little extra cash in our pocket to spend. Of course the majority was on needs and a few splurges but I was so proud of what we were able to get for what we spent I had to come here and share because I know you gals would appreciate my excitement even though it was a spend day.
Here is my break down:
6 pair of shoes
1 girls softball glove
3 pair of pants
2 pair of capri tights
1 sports bra
1 bottle of wine
1 drinking glass (it had the directions for a blood mary on it and DH couldn't resist)
1 picture'frame
1 toaster
2 soft pretzels
2 sodas
1 Mexican Dinner plus tip
Grand Total $249.28
I hope everyone is doing well...Happy No Spending

[pointy]

Final update: 23/21 NS and 26/25 No QVC! ;D
See you all in March!!

[moneysquirrel]

Final February Update: 20 NS days & 4 CS days = 24 NS/CS days

See you in March

[munjoyhill]

Final update for February.


12/14 No Spend
22/25 MOAN

Progress.

[shanendoah]

Final February Update

11 of 11 NSD
4 of 8 MOAN

[singlemomky]

Final February Update
13 CS; 6 of which were NS - not too bad considering it was a short month!

[ses]

Final Update

25/28 NSD Yay for food stamp challenge!!!!

[shanendoah]

February Final Numbers

Name	Goal	Total
3catslady	25	24 ;D
Angel 33/ImaAngel	18	0
cathysmom	28	8
cdarrow/Constanz22	27	8
cheerleadingmama7	20	1
dakota4600	20	12
dianartemis	15	6
Gin1984	21	6
Honeylioness	25	21 ;D
ilovedolphins	20	0
kcgaloz	20	6
mizbear	28	2
moneysquirrel	15	24 ;D
munjoyhill	14	12
Nuttinhoney7	15	11
oklady920	15	0
pt_in_ny/pointy	21	23 ;D
sapphire12		28
ses	28	25
shanendoah	11	11
Sheila in Cali	20	16
SingleMom-KY	18	13
spruby	28	25

5 CS/NS Days
10 CS/NS Days
15 CS/NS Days
;D 20 CS/NS Days
25 CS/NS Days
Reached their goal


Will cross post on the March thread. If we missed your numbers, let me know and I'll fix it.