February 2011 Controlled/No Spend Thread

[shanendoah]

Update: 10 of 11 NSD, 3 of 8 MOAN

Non-political politics: Let me start by saying that I am sorry for having contributed to some people feeling uncomfortable on the board this month. If people want me to go back and delete my posts, I will. However, I do believe that politics and religion, like money, are things we need to remove the taboo from discussing. I KNOW people don't believe the same things I do. I RESPECT that. I really enjoy hearing other sides of the debate. Our country DOES NOT work if we keep our mouths shut. Personally, I wish we had more than two (viable) parties to choose from, because there are certainly more than two sides to just about every political issue.
However, this is a personal finance board, so even though politics do effect our finances, I can respect the desire to keep them off this board. And I will do my best in the future to remember that. And again, you can ALWAYS ask me to shut up. It won't offend or upset me. I have plenty of other outlets for my rantings and ravings.

[shanendoah]

Decided to just go through and remove the political parts of any of my posts. Again, I had no intent to make anyone feel uncomfortable here, and I apologize to those who did.

[dianartemis]

3cats: Oooh, owie. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[muttleynfelix]

Shanen - I have contemplated what I wanted to say for a couple days to explain my aversion to talking about politics on a message board. I actually do talk religion and money to my friends, but I have a pretty good idea where they stand at least in terms of religion before I speak. When I speak with my aethiest friends, I make sure to choose my words carefully and they do the same out of respect for each other. I also talk politics with friends but only after I have an idea where they stand. It is very easy to offend people with discussions and to me the way this conversation got started was in a very finger pointy way which does not lend itself well to debate or people being willing to have a discussion. My best friend and I have had discussions that lead us to realize where you grow up also heavily influences how you see members of the other party. Growing up in Northern Illinois as the daughter of a small business owner heavily influenced how I see politicians. It also led me not to talk politics with friends because my friends parent's were often union workers at local factories. My best friend grew up in Oklahoma and has a completely different perspective. Our discussions, I believe have lead us to have a more open mind about politics across the country. Yes there are nut-jobs out there on both ends and currently I don't feel like any side is doing the best job they can for this country. When I opened the thread Tueday night after spending all day in the field and being pooped, I had over 30 posts with the first one being the start of the political discussion. I didn't even read most of them and I just skimmed, but it over took the thread, I was tired, I was pissed, and honestly most people have to be in the mood to talk politics and if you aren't in the mood and you aren't on the message board all day and come back to seeing this big political discussion it just pisses you off. So that is my aversion to talking politics in a nut shell.

[shanendoah]

Muttley: Karma for you well thought out response
I completely understand where you are coming from. It just happens to not be where I come from, and so sometimes, I need reminding. Our group of friends is filled with lawyers and people who have or intend to run for office. Politics is always a topic for conversation among us, with people sometimes representing arguments they don't agree with just to get a good debate going.
But that's us, and when I stop and think about it, I know that's not everyone. One of my biggest flaws (and DH will totally agree with this) is that I often speak or act without stopping and thinking first. It can lead to me seeming ungrateful, uncaring, and down right rude. I have no intent to be any of those things, but there's a road out there paved with good intentions.
I recognize that I am an adult, and I shouldn't need reminding to think about what I'm saying before I say it (not just the words but the forum), but sometimes I do. DH normally takes care of that for me, but he's not here.
I have put a sticky on my monitor that says "Think before you type", but always feel free to tell me if I've crossed a line.
And now I'm done done done.

3cats: I sympathize with the dental and will second the advice someone gave Sharing when she was going through all of her stuff - good music can make the visit so much more pleasant.

[mizbear]

I had a post come up missing.... basically it said DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!
Okay, did that sound ridiculous enough?
I am having a rough day. Tired of explaining and justifying myself...

[redwagon]

3cats - good luck with the dentist! ouch!

[Honeylioness]

SOOOOO far behind with replies .... sorry.

Politics - I feel the need to address this matter first.

What started out as a brief note about a political situation and it's potential fiscal side effects quickly morphed, in my opinion, into a deeply personal and divisive issue for many people.

Like others I prefer NOT to engage in such discussions unless it is face to face since in the medium of print it is too easy to misunderstand motivations and mis-contrue intentions which leave people feeling attacked, ridiculed, defensive and very uneasy.

As it has me. Several comments I have read from two people this past week have made me so upset I have wanted to just resign from this group with nothing more than the gesture of flipping these posters "the bird". However after a couple of days I have found a bit more balance. And as one lady said she knows this is her hot button topic and admitted she can get a bit wound up but is open to feedback ... here is mine.

I am requesting, in the strongest possible tone, that anyone who feels the need to continue to discuss this topic do so OFF BOARD with other such inclined people. And, just for the record, I am going to avail myself of my freedom of speech rights to make the same suggestion the next time such a topic arises and shows up in more than two posts.

I should have said this a week ago instead of cringing and feeling sick to my stomach each time I checked the board and saw the talk was still going on. Any topic which causes this many people to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome to the group should be taken off line as a matter of courtesy.

[Honeylioness]

startsmart - I applaud your information / electronic "diet" .. though you probably won't see this for at least a week! I think a lot of us are too "plugged in" too much of the time and need the techno-break to get re-centered. At least I do.

mizbear - Glad to see that not only are there other like-minded ladies here who have volunteered to five your brother a major attitude adjustment ... but that you have the same support in person ...that's the best.

I second spruby's advice. If you are posting over on the YM thread those folks DO tend to be rather judgemental and sanctimonious. Just be a duck and let it roll off your back. Though I too find it hard to always take this advice for myself.

As for your brother - I would ask him, in front of your parents preferably, just where he got off snooping through your files? You KNOW he was not raised with such a lack of ethics or integrity as to have such a disrespect for another person's privacy. And for the record, they would be ice skating in H3LL before you ever let him borrow anything again.

renee - sounds like the others have given you the same ideas I would have about finding an apartment. I know a lot of grocery stores have racks near the doors with the free car and apartment guides... I would see if yours does as well.

3 cats - OUCH ... being in need of three crowns myself I can sympathize .. good luck.

Girls - Well, it is Vacation Week here. Ines has gone to spend a few days with a friend on the southern border of the state so I am at home with just one. And last night we had a very intense discussion where she cried and was upset ...BUT I think I have gotten a LOT more insight as to why she does, and does not, do certain things. Armed with this information I think I can better focus on how to help her. Poor thing. All I will say here is that major family dysfunction is NOT an American or Western Culture issue ... it is world wide. *RME*... AND if I ever run into this girl's egg donor (cannot call her a mother in any sense of the word) I will be forced to kick her a$$ from here to Bejing and back again .... diplomacy be d**med ... this woman has done such emotional damage to this kid she may never be able to form any kind of emotional attachments to anyone.

Quilts - for anyone interested in a quick picture of my latest creation entitled "Mere d'Artiste et Bruno it can be found here:

i25.photobucket.com/albums/c72/honey36_/My%20quilts%20for%20sharing/DSCF2766.jpg

[singlemomky]

Honey - thank goodness you are there to show her that there is kindness in the world and be able to help her delve into some of the issues. You are to be commended for that!

[sheilaincali]

Reading through the comments I am really hoping I didn't offend anyone with my comments regarding he rampant waste of money that I saw in the government contracting arena. If I did i am sorry. I tried to stay away from the political comments but if my comments did offend anyone I am deeply sorry. I consider all of you my friends and would never want anyone to be upset with me.

Honey: Just reading your post I feel so bad for the poor girl.

[muttleynfelix]

Honey - You said it very well. And I like you, need to speak up when a conversation gets started rather than sit around until I can't take it any more. I do think some of my over the top reaction this time comes from holding it in during the 2008 elections rather than speaking up and saying hey I disagree.

On a money issue. I'm starting to feel very ugh about only working 3 days a week. I know our savings is going to take a major hit and I know we can weather it. But I have only worked 10 days in February. How pathetic is that?

[sheilaincali]

Muttley: How much longer does your employer intend for this reduced schedule to go on? Will you pick up again when the weather starts to improve? I am sorry that you are hitting the "Ugh" stage with this.

[ses]

I had not realized how much following a food stamp budget would affect my thinking. A friend got a bonus and took me out to dinner to celebrate last night. I had a very modest meal for $10 and all I could think of was, "that is three days worth of food expenses you ate in one meal!" I am glad I decided to do this challenge, my attitude, and values, needed a wake up call and some close examination.

It is a cold, cloudy and snowy day here. I decided to snuggle down and sleep in a bit longer since I had no early plans. I thought I lived with cats who were mellow, quiet, undemanding animals. NOT!! Ten minutes after my usual time to get up Onyx started dive bombing me. I would reach out and rub her ears and scratch her chin. Moments later she was dive bombing me again and nose to nose checking to see if my eyes were open. I finally got up after sleeping in all of twenty minutes. Ten minures later, after opening the door to prove to them it was cold and snowy, guess who was curled up and snuggling on the down comforter. I ended up just making the bed over top of them. I'm still not sure I shouldn't be in there with them.

I have a pot luck next Tuesday evening and have no idea of what to make. I'm leaning toward a pan of homemade dinner rolls, simply because I'm too lazy to think of something else. Any suggestions?

[Honeylioness]

SES - did you commit to bring a specific type of item to the potluck ... and would you like ideas for a side, dessert or main dish??

[redwagon]

honey - the quilt is gorgeous!!

[sheilaincali]

Honey: OMG that quilt is amazing! So pretty Karma for you for being so talented!

[dianartemis]

Honey, that is such a cool quilt!

[3catslady]

to all: because of surgery in '91 I have no nerves to the teeth in question. So there is no pain. I probably will have some when they are extracted but not for long. Thanks for the concern.
I am to clean my computer because DS got a bug on the wireless router and says it came from my computer. Be back when it is over. Hope I don't infect any of you.

[muttleynfelix]

Sheila - Work has picked up on the survey side of things, but due to cash flow issues my boss has decided that I will only be working 3 days a week until some of it gets paid for. So, we should have a decent billing for February go out on Tuesday. These are all good clients, but I still anticipate being off through March. I'm trying to stay busy at home. It has been tough since DS is teething and quite miserable about it. I guess it gives DH a break. Work seems to be picking up a bit, but not enough to justify me working 5 days a week.

[ses]

Honey--Wonderful quilt!!

And no I am not committed to any particular type of dish. I just have no motivation to make anything. Strange state of being for me.

[3catslady]

I really like your quilt. I am rushing to get my machine up so I can get started using up my Mother's material. I don't have much material of my own but I have projects in mind.

[kcgal]

Honey WOW That quilt was amazing! What talent!

[shanendoah]

Honey: Beautiful quilt!

[redwagon]

Honey - the curtains look SO real. how did you do that? still in awe...

[3catslady]

There are no viruses in my computer.

[spruby]

My apologies if anything I said offended you. I was not offended by anyone's opinions/topics discussed - I actually thought we were pretty civil - but I know we all have different styles of conversation.

Honey - beautiful work

3cats - good luck with the dental and pc clean off

muttley - can your boss set your schedule in such a way that you can collect unemployment (maybe one week on/one week off - depends on rules of your state I think)

ses - our dog goes back to bed on really cold days (instead of the couch) - I always want to go curl up with her

black hills trip - if you are flying - you should start watching ticket prices now and think about buying if you see flights that fit your budget/timing - the events in the middle east are increasing oil prices, airlines are already raising prices (4 times so far in 2011) and cutting capacity (fewer flights and the planes used on routes may be smaller depending on demand) [airlines are one of the industries I follow for work]


being back at work after the super relaxing vacation really drove home that I have stuck around way too long. life is to short to spend so much time being bored/frustrated/unchallenged.

i'm tracking spending/moans/neos and will post final numbers this weekend.

[mizbear]

Honey- Gorgeous!
muttley- Hope work picks up soon.
ses- If any of your fellow pot luck people are familiar with your experiment, show them what can be done tastefully but frugally. Perhaps a lentil dish. Lentils cook in about 30 minutes, take well to seasonings, hold up well (or can be mashed), go great in chili, can be used in many different cuisines, make a wonderful sub for meats and are less than a dollar a bag. No soaking required.
On DB- Great minds must think alike. My father is not really in the picture, but my mother and grandmother are. He asked if he could use my computer last night- since he doesn't have a printer and I told him in front of them "Are you going to go through my computer again?" He tried to deny what happened, but he got another tongue lashing from the grandmother. Hehehe. I have made it a point for almost 35 years to stay off my grandmother's bad side.
Posting on YM- My thread is here on WIR, I remember the advice I was given when I first started with the couponing girls about the difference between WIR, YM, etc. But, some of the advice they have come up with has been good- and like you guys have said- some of it, I have to file.

[mizbear]

Word of the week:

FISCANANCIALLY- combination of fiscally and financially (I think)

"Using coupons to save money is FISCANANCIALLY responsible" Gotta love 9 year olds!

[moneysquirrel]

Update: 18 NS days & 4 CS days = 22 NS/CS days

I am continuing the "straight to school and straight home" routine which really helps to build up the numbers.

Honey- Beautiful quilt. You continue to amaze me with the details of your work and the stitches.

sbruby -- I am ahead of you on the air flights. Booked mine last week. The flight I am taking has gone up at least $35 since I booked. In true WIR NS/CS fashion, I decided to cash in some of my infrequent flyer miles (before they were considered unusable) for my ticket.

ses -- will try to call you sometime in the next week or two to check on a few things. I am thinking it will be while I am off for the Mardi Gras break.