February 2011 Controlled/No Spend Thread

[MittenKitten]

mizbear: You DEFINITELY belong here. As for your brother tell him to stuff it! Many of our posters only post on this thread. Also if you post/ask questions/start a new thread take what people have to say with a grain of salt. Like others have said they don't know the whole story but may give you some food for thought. If they are being judgmental just ignore those posts and take what you need from the posts.

I usually just post here and occasionally post on other threads.

[moneysquirrel]

Today was a spend day but I knew it would be. Spend some time with friends for an enjoyable time away from the same routine.


mizbear-- while I may lurk on another thread (if time premits) I only post here.

[3catslady]

mizbear; This is usually the only thread I post on. I have been on here for over 3 years and only just recently posted on another thread. This group of ladies don't know me from Eve but I count them, and you, among my closest Friends because this is the only place I can be myself and not be afraid of anyone. My GF doesn't know everything I post on here and neither does any one else I know in RL. Don't leave us Please.

[mizbear]

I changed all my passwords- at least for now- so my brother can not get into any site I use- actually, he can't even get onto my computer now LOL- he doesn't know his daughters' passwords for using my computer and they can only go to sites I have fixed onto their profiles
I know that's bad.
Maybe I am just hypersensitive since I have been sick. Nothing has gone right this week with me being sick.
And even though I got more stocking done and I know where the hole is in my current budget- and have found a way to fix it- without starting a fight or hurting anyones feelings- I feel like I have failed at my NS, CS, MOAN goals this month. And I found out where my savings notebook went- brother took it.
GRRRRR
Sorry for ranting- I just feel like it's all falling apart when it sold all be coming together.

[sheilaincali]

mizbear: I have had so many days in which I know exactly how you are feeling. I really hope you decide to stick with us. It took me several months before I actually met one of my CS/NS goals. Even after 3 years I have months where none of my budget goals go right at all. Just know that we have all hit that brick wall.
As for the brother situation. Considering my brother saw me looking out the window today and flipped me the bird as he walked by I can't give you much advice. Normally I just try to ignore him and not have to be places where he is. Makes it difficult when we both work for my dad. At my parents whenever he starts being a jerk I physically leave the room, if he keeps it up I leave the house.

[dianartemis]

I'm so glad my DSis & I worked things out.

mizbear: Your DB is an inconsiderate a-hole who needs to grow up and stop causing trouble. Your choices are your choices made using information on your situation. Your DB (take that how you want it) can stuff it! I hope you stick around, because I don't want to be the only person who can't seem to make her NS goals.

Update: I got lost again. This is a report heavy month for me, so it's not surprising.

Did you guys know that riding a bike can be painful when you have another toe w/ a bone bruise? I've had two months of gracelessness, I hope I'm done. My DOD made a smart remark about using power tools...he really shouldn't talk.

[startsmart]

OMG, next Sunday is the tentative DC meet up! Where does the time go?

gldn- are you still up for helping organize since you know the area? I know you're sick still so any help would be appreciated! Just let us know when and where so I can make a note in my little travel calendar

If you're in the DC area I would love to chat in person! It also just so happens Feb 27th is nitza's wedding day so we should definitely have a drink in her honor!

[sapphire12]

mizbear -- don't be hard on yourself for not meeting your NS/CS goals. The fact that you are aware of your spending means you are successful. If you are spending less than before you joined this board, then you are successful. It takes times, but there are other measures of success that can be gleaned from being a part of this group than the number of NS/CS days you acquire. You could take the approach of some and just see how many you can get in any given month. Good luck to you.

start -- what time are you getting into DC? We don't have to have an organized trip to drive around and see the sights of DC.

[sheilaincali]

Argh!!! It's one of those days. Still snowing. Have shoveled three times in the past 24 hours.
The general Manager just quit- which is a good thing on the one hand because he is very ineffective at his job. But it's a bad thing too because rather than replace him they are going to farm out his responsibilities. Meaning my idiot brother will get more responsibilities. He can barely handle the ones he has now. He is extremely rude and difficult to work with. Now he will assume this is a promotion for him and do even less work than he did before. Trust me- it's going to blow up big time.
Sorry- I realize this isn't the best place to complain. But the whole this is on the DL. I can't talk about it on fb or anywhere else. So you ladies are the only ones I can vent to.

On the plus side- my update for the week: 14/20 NS, 19/25 NEO, and 20 lbs lost Happy dance over that one.

[ses]

spruby-- it is safe to travel to South Dakota. The proposed bill was blasted and shot down a couple of days after it was proposed. A big national embarrassment for the state. Actually the abortion issue has come up in many states recently. Many conservatives are emboldened after they were elected because of financial/debt issues they campaigned on and then were elected on, are now leading to abortion issues they never mentioned in the campaigns. There are so many issues that need to be addressed in this country and are not that I am worried that the polarization being created in the political realm is going to create a country so far from the center that we will create a country that is so rigid and narrow in beliefs that we will put some of the middle eastern nations to shame.

mizbear--Don't leave. As mentioned before we treat money issues in a holistic way. All aspects of our lives affect our money. It seems like you are your family's "caretaker/fixer". You can't allow other people to manipulate your attitudes about what is right for you. I think everyone here has had trouble meeting our goals. It took me two years before I was truly successful at meeting my goals, and I still slide from time to time. It sounds like you need a support group and the ladies here are very good in that capacity.
As a matter of curiosity, how long before you finish your schooling and need to have your plan in place?

[spruby]

ses - nice to hear calmer heads prevailed in SD - I always am fascinated by those who want the government "out" of all financial decisions and "in" all personal decisions - of course only if the government agrees with them! I agree with you about the polarization - only bad for the country. think I have said it before - this relentless push to drag everyone down (I don't have a pension/health insurance/etc - why should anyone else) is not good for ANYONE.

I agree defined benefit plans that most public workers have aren't realistic anymore - so negotiate a *new* plan - but it isn't employees/retirees fault that states/localities didn't fund for years, engaged in creative math and invested in the same kind of junk (sub-prime mortgage anyone) that other people did. Arggh - I'll stop my rant here.

BTW ses - how goes the food stamp budget?

[reeneejune]

miz bear - As a semi-permanent host of Murphy and frequent flier on Guilt Trip Air, let me tell you that leaving this group as a result of your own guilt or the ranting of various unimportant family members would be the worst thing possible. My whole first year with this group was one utter disaster after another, if you'd like to hear about it PM me, I don't want to re-hash it publicly. The formula for me seems to be emotional upheaval leads to thoughtless spending which leads to further financial crisis and more emotional upheaval. Being here can help stop that thoughtless spending cycle.

constanz - My dSis is a vet assistant. She makes a regular second job out of keeping an eye on pets when their owners are out of town. And if nothing else, the Vet's staff will know which place or who is safe to leave your furbabies with.

[startsmart]

sapphire- I'm in late on Friday night then doing my thing Saturday. I've been to DC several times so I like to hit my favorite museums, sites and make sure I'm caught up on work before relaxing Sunday.

I'm in DC all day Sunday and Monday (27th, 28th) although most of Monday I'll be on the phone (3 hours worth of team meetings, ug) and then leave for NY Tuesday night.

[sapphire12]

I did pilates 3 days last week, plus walked on Thursday afternoon. I walked yesterday. I did pilates this morning. So far, I'm off to a decent start to my 3 week exercise program.

spruby -- Welcome home! We had spring Thursday and Friday and now it's more snow. ARGHH!!!!

start -- sounds like a plan. We'll touch bases later in the week.

ses/spruby -- Some of the newly elected officials have made politics interesting.

[redwagon]

Just wanted to say hi. Sorry to those of you with d-bag brothers. Mine's pretty okay but he's not talkative so I only talk to him when I'm up in MA. Kind of sad, really. But that's just how he is. In any event, a rather spendy weekend as I stocked up on kitty essentials and Redwagon essentials. The AMC Best Picture Showcase part 1 on Saturday was fun - loving the Fighter so far. But 5 more to see this upcoming Saturday!! Love the Oscars....

I might go pop in a movie. Been watching nerdy presidential docs on History Channel all day, but I need to force myself to relax (been cleaning and cooking etc all day) so maybe a movie will do the trick. I am taking tomorrow off as well, to take blue to the airport (a brief business trip for training for the new job), get the tire on my car fixed (finally), and then girl time with SIL and my niece (plus she's giving me freelancing tips and critiquing some of my writing, pitch ideas, etc). Should be a good day! (*she being SIL, not my 1 year old niece hehe)

[ses]

This was sent to me and I decided to share, definitely slanted but interesting.

Shocking Attacks from the GOP's War on Women

1) Republicans not only want to reduce women's access to abortion care, they're actually trying to redefine rape. After a major backlash, they promised to stop. But they haven't yet. Shocker.

2) A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to "accuser." But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain "victims."

3) In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder a doctor who provides abortion care. (Yep, for real.)

4) Republicans want to cut nearly a billion dollars of food and other aid to low-income pregnant women, mothers, babies, and kids.

5) In Congress, Republicans have a bill that would let hospitals allow a woman to die rather than perform an abortion necessary to save her life.

6) Maryland Republicans ended all county money for a low-income kids' preschool program. Why? No need, they said. Women should really be home with the kids, not out working.

7) And at the federal level, Republicans want to cut that same program, Head Start, by $1 billion. That means over 200,000 kids could lose their spots in preschool.

8) Two-thirds of the elderly poor are women, and Republicans are taking aim at them too. A spending bill would cut funding for employment services, meals, and housing for senior citizens.

9) Congress just voted for a Republican amendment to cut all federal funding from Planned Parenthood health centers, one of the most trusted providers of basic health care and family planning in our country.

10) And if that wasn't enough, Republicans are pushing to eliminate all funds for the only federal family planning program. (For humans. But Republican Dan Burton has a bill to provide contraception for wild horses. You can't make this stuff up).

Sources:

1. "'Forcible Rape' Language Remains In Bill To Restrict Abortion Funding," The Huffington Post, February 9, 2011
www.moveon.org/r?r=206084

"Extreme Abortion Coverage Ban Introduced," Center for American Progress, January 20, 2011
www.moveon.org/r?r=205961

2. "Georgia State Lawmaker Seeks To Redefine Rape Victims As 'Accusers,'" The Huffington Post, February 4, 2011
www.moveon.org/r?r=206007

3. "South Dakota bill would legalize killing abortion doctors," Salon, February 15, 2011
www.salon.com/news/feature/2011/02/15/south_dakota_abortion_killing_bill

4. "House GOP Proposes Cuts to Scores of Sacred Cows," National Journal, February 9, 2011
nationaljournal.com/house-gop-proposes-cuts-to-scores-of-sacred-cows-20110209

5. "New GOP Bill Would Allow Hospitals To Let Women Die Instead Of Having An Abortion," Talking Points Memo, February 4, 2011
www.moveon.org/r?r=205974

6. "Republican Officials Cut Head Start Funding, Saying Women Should be Married and Home with Kids," Think Progress, February 16, 2011
thinkprogress.org/2011/02/16/gop-women-kids/

7. "Bye Bye, Big Bird. Hello, E. Coli," The New Republic, Feburary 12, 2011
www.tnr.com/blog/83387/house-republican-spending-cuts-pell-education-usda-pbs

8. "House GOP spending cuts will devastate women, families and economy," The Hill, February 16, 2011
thehill.com/blogs/congress-blog/economy-a-budget/144585-house-gop...

9. "House passes measure stripping Planned Parenthood funding," MSNBC, February 18,2011
firstread.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/02/18/6080756-house-passes-mea...

"GOP Spending Plan: X-ing Out Title X Family Planning Funds," Wall Street Journal, February 9, 2011
blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2011/02/09/gop-spending-plan-x-ing-out-title-x-family-planning-funds/

10. Ibid.

"Birth Control for Horses, Not for Women," Blog for Choice, February 17, 2011
www.blogforchoice.com/archives/2011/02/birth-control-f.html

[startsmart]

So I'm going to try something new this week and see how it goes when I'm on vacation next week. Blue and I have been chatting and both consciously cutting back on internet time and influencers. A lot of times poking around on the boards here or facebook time is really depressing instead of uplifting. It just seems the friends (not even WIR friends here) I have who complain the most post the most and it's frustrating me.

Just taking a conscious step toward involving more positive influences with the things I want to do business and life wise. I know I haven't been chatting much on this thread since my work schedule went into overdrive but I also didn't want to stop posting without noting why.

Email door is always open and since I practically live IN my inbox I'll read those and make sure to catch up with some of y'all when I'm back East.

[constanz22]

A BIG THANK YOU to all who offered suggestions and encouragement about my doggies. I have a plan and am very, very happy that they will NOT have to be boarded! BFF is going to come stay 2 nights and my dad is going to stay 2 nights. I did find a pet sitting service that will come to the home and will fill in with them as needed, but, I may not even need them. What a HUGE weight off my shoulders!

[ses]

spruby--The food stamp challenge has been a real eye-opener. i have meals, balanced meals, planned and ready for the rest of the month. I even had enough to provide cookies and cake and a brunch for the guests at the Scrabble House Party last weekend. I have come to an awareness of some of the obstacles participants face. It is difficult to shop really economically. I had not realized how much my budget flexes from month to month based on which sales I take advantage of. For this challenge I decided to forgo using coupons, since that is not an option for many who use food stamps. I still have 24c left. It was all over the news last week about expecting 5-10% inflation in food products. I seriously doubt that will be reflected in the amounts recipients will get.
I think I ate more healthily because of following careful plans. I should have been doing this much planning all along. I think I will continue allowing this amount for my grocery allowance for a few months, continuing the planning and using coupons where possible, for needed food items where possible. I anticipate that knowing the fixed amount I can use from month to month will be easier than shopping just one month at a time with no stockpile. I still have some things left from this month to add to my ongoing stockpile. I was surprised how easily the month went after the initial planning and shopping. I had several advantages, the availability of two good supermarkets and transportation to them. I also had a very major advantage in that i had plenty of time to work with. I wasn't working and raising a family to consume my time. I was able to cook from scratch more than many are, and i have the skills to do so.

My cleaning lady (three hours monthly) told me she got $400/mo for herself, her daughter and her granddaughter(18 mo). But that will change now that she is employed full time. It will be interesting how much the change will be. But, also frustrating to not know how much the change will be and not able to plan ahead.

Overall, it has been a very interesting month. I can see how Constanz has such conflicting feelings about the program.

[mizbear]

startsmart- My DM owes me for gas and said she may give me $$ to go to DC this weekend if I am not niecesitting!!! Will update as soon as I know.
School update: Had to take a break while sick- so I am jumping back into that this week. I didn't want to do any assignments half asleep and ruin my grade. So I am over a third of the way through, test wise and over half way through lesson wise.
DB update: DGM had a talk with DB and told him that he needed to get himself straight because if my DGF was still living my DB would not be pulling this carp. In fact, I would still be living at home if DGF was still alive because he would not have let me move out (I was his favorite, being the oldest grandchild and he helped raise me) and DB might have been kicked out by now. Either way, she set him straight on a few things and DM is laying in wait to set him straight on a few more. This should be funny.
ses- The program is definitely not perfect. People wonder why I eat the way I do- lots of on sale food is strange combos.
My mantra right now is: I will succeed, I will succeed...

[sapphire12]

No exercise for me today as I didn't get enough snow to shovel. Shoveling is actually good exercise, even if does get old. Thankful we didn't have more of a mess this morning. My car is dirty again.

start -- No snow forecast for your visit.

ses -- Interesting proposed legislation; most of it I'm against. In spite of said legislation and other crazy legislation floating around, people will continue to vote these types of legislators into office.

[MittenKitten]

SES: I am SO tempted to e-mail that to my dad. He is constantly sending me info on how terrible the democrats are etc. Often he comes over and talks about "that man you voted into office" Man I have a LOT of power according to my DOD hehe.

Love my DOD but our politics are worlds apart. In fact I have never told him who I voted for he just assumes.

mizbear: Glad DB is getting what he deserves! How old is he anyways?

I have my yearly checkup today. Oh joy!

[sheilaincali]

mizbear: I really have to commend your attitude. I think your mantra is one that a lot of us could adopt. Super glad your DGM set your DB straight (and in DB's case we know the D doesn't = Dear).
Keep up the positive attitude. Karma point for you

[shanendoah]

Update: 10 of 11 NSDs, 2 of 8 MOAN
I'm finally starting to feel better. I am hoping to be able to get in MOANs tonight and Thursday, and therefore halfway meeting my February goal.
The funny part about my 5 day weekend was that Saturday and Sunday were NSDs. Saturday we did go to roller derby and I had budgeted $10 for parking, but DH paid it out of cash from his pocket, so NSD. Sunday I didn't even get dressed.

mizbear: Please stick around here. If you posted your other thread on Your Money, that board is known for its tough "love", and is infamous for its no coffee, no cell phone, no cable tv, no internet stance (though I doubt any of the posters have actually gone without any of those things- well, except the 70 years olds when they were 20). As we all know here, a budget is like a diet, and if you don't allow yourself some wiggle room, you are guaranteeing failure.
As for your DBro, sorry he's an ass. Glad your family is sticking up for you. What you post about is none of anyone else's business.

ses: On your food stamp challenge, I was talking to DH about it, and he mentioned that, having been on food stamps as a kid, he thought you should be able to stock up on staples and not count that against your monthly allowance. His reasoning on that is that once you are on food stamps, you can take advantage of food banks, which is where a lot of "shopping" for staples happens, or at least it did in the low income community where he grew up. So think of your pantry as a food bank (a really good one where you're never stuck with a random can of anchovies).

[mizbear]

shan- I am also pro-choice- partially because I was abused as a kid, partially because my mother had a tobal pregnancy and as we women (and probably most of the guys) know, it has to be aborted or it can kill. My mom had already had sepsis with her first pregnancy (me), a 5th month miscarriage of 1 baby with my younger brother (his twin died)- without an abortion, we would have been motherless. My father molested and raped me from the time I was 9 to 14- does the government expect little girls to raise babies when they are violated? One of my aunts could not have children because of an improperly performed abortion because she was raped and they took her to the doctor to have it covered up.
Sorry. It's a sore subject for me.
My post asking for help was actually in the WIR section, that has where my shock has come from.
My brother- the one I see- will be 33 later this year- he is 2 years younger than me. My half-brother, whom I have never met is roughly 27 years younger than me.
ses- I agree with shan's DH about the FS challenge. A stocked pantry is one of the many tricks to living off FS. I stock my pantry every chance I get and since I can not have a freezer here, I use 2 drawers in DGMs upright for my food. By hitting stuff on sale or using programs like Angel Food ministries, I can really stretch my food dollars- I get $42.
I have to run DM out on an errand- catch everyone later.

[shanendoah]

mizbear: *hugs* As for the threads, I read it. Its actually a pretty nice thread. (Phil's a curmudgeon, and while he generally gives solid advice, just remember his life is not yours, so his decisions won't be yours.) The best advice I can give actually comes from the rules we have in my writing critique group. As the author, we are not allowed to question/defend our writing. We have to sit silently while others give their impressions. The key to this is to remember - everyone else is only getting 1000 words at a time. Only you know the whole story, so as you hear things, you can think to yourself - that's irrelevant, that's dealt with two paragraphs before what you heard today, or its addressed in the next scene, etc. The same goes here. Take the advice, clarify when needed, but only you know the whole story- what happened three chapters before or will happen two scenes down the road -so feel free to ignore what's not relevant.
The other reason not to defend is that you end up locking yourself in a mindset. If you defend, you add your pride to the equation, and that makes it a lot harder to be open to new suggestions, today or months down the road when you realize a complete re-write is in order.

[ses]

Shanen, Shanen's DH and Mizbear-- you guys are brilliant! I should consider my pantry as a "food bank", as you say a well stocked one. As I carefully shop from here on I should have a few "leftover" dollars (even if it is only .24) here and there to keep it stocked. I wonder if Safeway still redeems for aluminum cans?

I have been busy this morning grating all the slivers of bath soap I have collected in an old cup and made another bucket of laundry soap. This should last another 9-12 months. I like spending 1 1/2 hours and being able to have laundry soap for $.03 a load. Now I can get in there and DO some laundry.

I am arguing with myself about learning how to buy something from ebay. I can buy round steak for the same price as 80% ground beef. If I had the food grinder attachment for my KitchenAid stand mixer I could grind my own meat. Cheaper, higher quality, fresher and much less chance of contamination in buying sliced meat than ground meat. Of course I also saw a Pampered Chef stoneware baking bowl I would love to have to go with the stoneware baker I already have to make a clay "baking cloche" for baking artisan breads. sigh.

Sometimes saving money can be very expensive!

[reeneejune]

My 2 cents - I am against abortion as a method of birth control. Before you start throwing flaming tomatoes at me, hear me out. Victims of any sort of abuse, anyone who needs to have an abortion in a life or death situation, or those who had a legitimate failure of birth control, these women should have access to abortion. Now the ones who persist in believing that it "can't" happen the first time or who "don't like" using birth control, they should have to own up to the consequences of their choices. Because the fact is that there's a 100% effective, hypo-allergenic method of preventing unwanted pregnancy: it's called abstinence. Yeah, it's no fun. But it's a lot less fun to be a poverty-stricken single mother when you don't remember the baby-daddy's name and you have to decide between paying the rent and buying diapers. I don't stick to either camp, pro life or pro choice because I haven't yet heard a common sense plan that allows for the protection of victims and forces the irresponsible to take responsibility for their actions. As my (Catholic) 18 y.o. cousin told his Sunday School Class: "If you don't want any calves, keep the bull away from the heifers." And he said it as if that was the only discussion required on the topic. Love that kid.

Hate to change the subject, but I have a question: I'm finally officially searching for an apartment. I did a lot of thinking and came up with a list of "must-haves", "nice to haves", and "If someone crawled in my brain and pulled out my perfect place to live" features. I've also narrowed down the area I'd like to live in to a specific geographic area in the town I work in. So here's my question: It seems like no one advertises in the newspaper classifieds anymore. Even on Sunday, there's less than 20 ads for a small city, most of which are apartment complexes that advertise faithfully every week. I've looked through Craigslist with some success, and I've driven up and down the streets in my target neighborhood. Is there anywhere else I should be looking for rental listings?

[Deleted]

Feb 22, 2011 13:45:41 GMT -5 reeneejune said:

My 2 cents - I am against abortion as a method of birth control. Before you start throwing flaming tomatoes at me, hear me out. Victims of any sort of abuse, anyone who needs to have an abortion in a life or death situation, or those who had a legitimate failure of birth control, these women should have access to abortion. Now the ones who persist in believing that it "can't" happen the first time or who "don't like" using birth control, they should have to own up to the consequences of their choices. Because the fact is that there's a 100% effective, hypo-allergenic method of preventing unwanted pregnancy: it's called abstinence. Yeah, it's no fun. But it's a lot less fun to be a poverty-stricken single mother when you don't remember the baby-daddy's name and you have to decide between paying the rent and buying diapers. I don't stick to either camp, pro life or pro choice because I haven't yet heard a common sense plan that allows for the protection of victims and forces the irresponsible to take responsibility for their actions. As my (Catholic) 18 y.o. cousin told his Sunday School Class: "If you don't want any calves, keep the bull away from the heifers." And he said it as if that was the only discussion required on the topic. Love that kid.

Hate to change the subject, but I have a question: I'm finally officially searching for an apartment. I did a lot of thinking and came up with a list of "must-haves", "nice to haves", and "If someone crawled in my brain and pulled out my perfect place to live" features. I've also narrowed down the area I'd like to live in to a specific geographic area in the town I work in. So here's my question: It seems like no one advertises in the newspaper classifieds anymore. Even on Sunday, there's less than 20 ads for a small city, most of which are apartment complexes that advertise faithfully every week. I've looked through Craigslist with some success, and I've driven up and down the streets in my target neighborhood. Is there anywhere else I should be looking for rental listings?

I would rather the woman abort than abuse or neglect the child, personally.

[ses]

AArghhh--------my printer just died!