Hello. You are too FAT.

[tloonya]

I'v been seething for days now. Then I remember I can come and vent here.
About a year ago a young muslim girl came to the store and suddently fell sick. We did all we could to take good care of her and my husband took her home.
Later her Mom came and said thank you and we all felt good.
Then they went back to Syria and their son was coming to my store and we became good acquaintances.

A few days she appeared at my store all draped in blue and smiled to me like a good friend.
I smiled back. She said (and I am still SO MAD at it) with nicest smile on her face : "You getting FAT!"
--------------------------------------------------------
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(that what was going on in my head at the time thinking how to respond)
and finally I said : "That was nice!" (that's not emoticon - that is my exact picture)
and she said : "It was?" (so she KNEW it wasn't?)
and her son yelled : "NO it wasn't MOM!!!"
Then he said : "Mom meant you are...strong...and you seem broader than last time she saw you..." and I was ready to throw my laptop at him....when he suddenly stopped apparently feeling my vibes and saw my twitch and ... went to his Mom.


When I was ringing her up not looking at her but being very civil wishing she had one of the flies flying rigt in her mouth...she asked me : "why are you so quiet? because of what I said?"

I said : "I don't want to talk about it..." and she paid and left.
Her son came back and said : "my Mom didn't mean what she said" and I said : 'its ok'.

[Colleenz]

I hear Amish men lik *sturdy* women.

[tloonya]

Aug 28, 2012 15:38:57 GMT -5 Colleenz said:

I hear Amish men lik *sturdy* women.

Lik??? Maybe...and I am glad it took you 2 min to write and post reply to my post.
Can we try 1 min next time?
And then you reply BEFORE I post???

Oh! The funny thing is that wnem we started this biz I had lost 20lb that I had never gained back.
So today I look better than ever. Well...not when I was 16 but good enough to ... whatever.

I am not hurt. I am MAD because this woman is stupid! And she walking around showing it. And how can anyone just SAY IT???

[Peace Of Mind]

Well? Are you?

Were you too thin before when she saw you last? In some countries being fat is a compliment and it means you are wealthy. So just look at it as she said "You look rich!"

[hoops902]

"You're GETTING fat" is a lot better than "You ARE fat" I guess. Glass half full.

Maybe what she really said was "You're getting PHAT"

[thyme4change]

finally I said : "That was nice!" (that's not emoticon - that is my exact picture)

a) ROFL!

and

b) Are you getting fatter?

[Colleenz]

In some parts of the world being fat is a sign of prosperity (i.e. if you can afford to eat well enough to get fat you are wealthy). Maybe she meant it as a compliment?

[Colleenz]

Jinx POM

[tloonya]

Aug 28, 2012 15:43:01 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Well? Are you?

Were you too thin before when she saw you last? In some countries being fat is a compliment and it means you are wealthy. So just look at it as she said "You look rich!"

NO! I was exactly my today's size!
But your explanation makes me think this is what I wanted to hear. That she is not just stupid to that point that she goes and insults people just like THAT!

And it is not even an insult because I am pretty happy with my appearance! I can not get hurt by anyone's comment about my looks! it is just that she came to my place and spit in my face!!!
For NOTHING!!! Not even disliking me...

thanks POM. Lets hear from others. I bet there gonna be stuff to read...

[Colleenz]

Did you spit on her vegetables when she wasn't looking?

[hoops902]

::I said : "That was nice!" (that's not emoticon - that is my exact picture)::

She clearly didn't mean any harm by it. If she wanted to insult you, she would have pointed out how you're bald with eyebrows so out of control they flow right off your head.

Also your head is small and perfectly round. That is all.

[tloonya]

Message deleted by tloonya.

[cranberry49]

LMAO! What a funny read!

OH! Are you really getting fat? Is that really your picture? ;D

[hoops902]

Aug 28, 2012 15:51:02 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Aug 28, 2012 15:49:23 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::I said : "That was nice!" (that's not emoticon - that is my exact picture)::

She clearly didn't mean any harm by it. If she wanted to insult you, she would have pointed out how you're bald with eyebrows so out of control they flow right off your head.

Also your head is small and perfectly round. That is all.

Now...THAT doesn't make ANY sense!!!!!!!!

Also how could you hear her insult you, you have no ears. Did she sign the insult to you? Did you read her lips?

[thyme4change]

she would have pointed out how you're bald with eyebrows so out of control they flow right off your head.

Also your head is small and perfectly round

ROFL! This made my day.

[tloonya]

Aug 28, 2012 15:52:21 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

she would have pointed out how you're bald with eyebrows so out of control they flow right off your head.

Also your head is small and perfectly round

ROFL! This made my day.

Oh! That's why!!!

[kittensaver]

Over my lifetime I've been privy to a number of similar situations - mostly persons for whom English is not at first language saying something innocent or intented to be helpful but the wrong words come out hurtfully.

Most recently: a bunch of us at got in the elevator on a Thursday night heading for a happy hour. A recently widowed co-worker also got in. During the ride, another [English as a second language] co-worker said to the widow, "Hey we're all going out for a drink. Wanna come along?" When the recent widow demurred, the other co-worker persisted. "Awe, come on. It will be fun. You don't have anyone to go home to anyway."

She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, it just flat out came out wrong.

[Peace Of Mind]

Aug 28, 2012 15:46:19 GMT -5 Colleenz said:

Jinx POM

Here's your coke. I added a little something extra.

::I said : "That was nice!" (that's not emoticon - that is my exact picture)::

Did she also recommend you have your blood pressure checked? You look a little flushed there.

She sent her son back to apologize. That should count for something. Don't sell her rotten produces!

[Deleted]

(a) You mentioned that they had been in Syria, so she is probably not a native English speaker. Go ahead and assume that she misspoke and wasn't deliberately trying to insult you.

(b) Just in case, throw away whatever shirt you were wearing that day.

[thyme4change]

"Awe, come on. It will be fun. You don't have anyone to go home to anyway."

English is the only language I know and that sounds like some stupid shit I would say. I must love the taste of my foot.

[Formerly SK]

I used to have an Indian co-worker. I bumped into her several years after we quit working together and the first thing she said to me was how fat I had become (I was pregnant at the time but she didn't know that). I chalked it up to a cultural thing like pp said since she was a very nice person and I knew she would not have wanted to insult me.

[kittensaver]

Aug 28, 2012 16:01:17 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

"Awe, come on. It will be fun. You don't have anyone to go home to anyway."

English is the only language I know and that sounds like some stupid shit I would say. I must love the taste of my foot.

I know for a fact that the person who said it is a warm, caring person and MEANT to say something welcoming and encouraging about joining the group. It just flat came out wrong. The silence in the elevator was excrutiating . . .

[Peace Of Mind]

Aug 28, 2012 16:03:59 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Aug 28, 2012 16:01:17 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

English is the only language I know and that sounds like some stupid shit I would say. I must love the taste of my foot.

I know for a fact that the person who said it is a warm, caring person and MEANT to say something welcoming and encouraging about joining the group. It just flat came out wrong. The silence in the elevator was excrutiating . . .

kitten - Did she join you or go home?

[tloonya]

[quote author=craftysarah board=offtopic thread=25919 post=1230071 time=1346187462

(b) Just in case, throw away whatever shirt you were wearing that day.[/quote]

I thought about it. The problem is that I am so mad I do not remember which one was I wearing!!!

[kittensaver]

Aug 28, 2012 16:05:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Aug 28, 2012 16:03:59 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I know for a fact that the person who said it is a warm, caring person and MEANT to say something welcoming and encouraging about joining the group. It just flat came out wrong. The silence in the elevator was excrutiating . . .

kitten - Did she join you or go home?

She went home. I know she's struggling with some (very understandable) depression.

[hoops902]

Aug 28, 2012 16:07:06 GMT -5 tloonya said:

[quote author=craftysarah board=offtopic thread=25919 post=1230071 time=1346187462

(b) Just in case, throw away whatever shirt you were wearing that day.

I thought about it. The problem is that I am so mad I do not remember which one was I wearing!!!

[/quote]

What a great excuse to throw them all out and go shopping!!!!

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

I have a nasty habit of asking women when they're due, only to discover they aren't pregnant. It's really embarrassing, but each time I'm sure I'm right *this* time.

[tloonya]

Aug 28, 2012 16:03:59 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Aug 28, 2012 16:01:17 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

English is the only language I know and that sounds like some stupid shit I would say. I must love the taste of my foot.

I know for a fact that the person who said it is a warm, caring person and MEANT to say something welcoming and encouraging about joining the group. It just flat came out wrong. The silence in the elevator was excrutiating . . .

Another way to put it nicely was: 'there is no living soul at your house...why would you want to go there?'


And thyme! Why would you say that you saying such things being native english speaker? Is it condition or something???

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Aug 28, 2012 15:45:41 GMT -5 Colleenz said:

In some parts of the world being fat is a sign of prosperity (i.e. if you can afford to eat well enough to get fat you are wealthy). Maybe she meant it as a compliment?

Maybe it sounds better in Arabic?

[tloonya]

Aug 28, 2012 16:07:50 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Aug 28, 2012 16:07:06 GMT -5 tloonya said:

[quote author=craftysarah board=offtopic thread=25919 post=1230071 time=1346187462

(b) Just in case, throw away whatever shirt you were wearing that day.

I thought about it. The problem is that I am so mad I do not remember which one was I wearing!!!

What a great excuse to throw them all out and go shopping!!!![/quote]


...and have all of my credit cards with me??? I am not sure they have $$$ left on them so it is kind of asking for trouble. Banks don't like me you know...