Chore Assignments

[raeoflyte]

Who does what in your house, and how did you work out an equitable distribution? What chores do your kids do, what ages did you start at?

[zibazinski]

Both around 4. It seemed that they could do stuff without me worrying about it too much. DS went around and got all the trash from the wastebaskets. DD dusted. It progressed from there. The only thing I never allowed was cleaning with anything chemical, so they didn't do bathrooms or kitchen or mopped a floor. Vacuuming was okay as well as sweeping garage as they got older.

[Deleted]

We are still working out the "equitable distribution" part.

I do most of the inside chores and DH does most of the outside ones. The kids are 7 & just about 6 and they are responsible for their rooms and helping out with Saturday cleaning (he gets all of the garbage cans from around the house and she dusts). I am thinking of adding window washing and toilet bowl cleaning to their lists.

ETA: I just saw your post zib! Maybe vacuuming instead of toilets just to be on the safe side.

[zibazinski]

I worried about the chemicals with toilet cleaners.

[alabamagal]

I had three kids close in age. A big one at our house every day was 1) Put away clean dishes 2) Load dirty dishes/clean countertops 3) Take out trash. I would usually let them divide up who did which one, so they learned to negotiate with each other. My youngest seemed to like doing clean dishes the best, so as soon as I would mention "Kitchen Chores" he would make a beeline for the dishwasher to get his chore out of the way!

[mox]

Back in the sixties, both of my parents worked full-time...the boys did all the outside chores like trash, shoveling, mowing, etc. The girls did all the inside chores...cleaning bathrooms, dishes, stripping beds, etc.

[zibazinski]

I had posted but it disappeared that I am very paranoid about chemicals and kids, that I even went to a pool service when we had a pool because I didn't want pool chemicals around the house.

[geenamercile]

DH does the house stuff, I work and do the shopping. Oldest daughter is almost 6 and has to pick up her stuff and help as directed with other stuff. OH she has those crabs that she is suppose to be taking care of, add them to my list, to be fair she does mist them.

[Deleted]

Growing up, we each got to choose a room to clean. I'd choose the bathrooms because all you had to do was spray and wait. So I'd spray all the surfaces, read a magazine article and then wipe everything down.

I have been working "smarter, not harder" my entire life!

[Deleted]

The kids unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, change the laundry, feed the dogs on a daily basis (plus keep their own space from being condemned, put away their own laundry, etc..). They will do other things as i ask around the house. We pay them to do 'big things' which are outside the scope of daily stuff (clean the patio, rake leaves) ... they get paid to mow lawns here and at the grandparents... have been doing that since about 10, not sure about the other stuff? ...

[mox]

I got stuck taking care of the darn hamsters after the newness wore off! NEVER AGAIN!!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I can use advice on mine - 4 and 2.75. Right now, their only job is to put their shoes in the shoe bin when they take them off...

[Loopdilou]

Mine are responsible for their own rooms and their bathroom, emptying and filling the dishwasher, setting and clearing the table, taking the trash out, and whatever the hell else I tell them to do!

[Formerly SK]

Mine are 6&7 and during the school year they do about 15 things a day for chores (short, easy things). Zib - one of my DD's chores is to clean the bathroom which just means use a chemical-free sponge to wipe counters/sink of toothpaste etc and then pick up the floor. Other chores: making bed, putting away their laundry, empty recycling bin, set table, pick up 10 pine cones outside, etc. We have a chore chart on the fridge.

I do 95% of all housework/yardwork/home maintenance since I'm a SAHM. I don't even think DH knows where the furnace filters go, let alone actually replacing them. Ditto operating the sprinkler system. More than anything, this scares the crap out of me when I return to work. It is going to be a very rough adjustment for us to have him doing 50% of the work around here. DH is a good guy and not lazy, but I can see him arguing to use my new income to outsource work, which IMO defeats the purpose of me working. It's not going to be a fun adjustment.

[Deleted]

Zib - one of my DD's chores is to clean the bathroom which just means use a chemical-free sponge to wipe counters/sink of toothpaste etc and then pick up the floor.

I like this one. And the beauty is we have 2 bathrooms and 2 kids!

[michelyn8]

The house my kids "mostly" grew up in had six rooms and there were 3 of us so I split the weekly chores to 2 rooms a pop. I took the kitchen and my room, DD1 got her room and the living room and DD2 got her room and the bathroom. I tried switching up the bathroom and living room between them every week but for some reason I don't remember, it worked out better for them to "keep" the same common room each week.

The biggest complication came on weekends they went to their Dad's. He would often get to the house around the same time I got home or shortly after and the girls didn't always do their chores before he got there. So more often than not, they did their bedrooms every other weekend because I could close those doors if they left them to messy.

[Abby Normal]

I must be a horrible parent. DS has had chores since he was about 4. Now (10) he is responsible for his room, cleaning his bathroom, and his laundry. Plus we share household duties like vacumming, taking out the trash, feeding/walking the dogs, dusting- etc. Next year he'll start helping to mow the lawn.

Oh- and he's made his own lunch since about 2nd grade.

[Deleted]

I would call you the opposite of horrible, actually.

[Phoenix84]

What is this "equitable distribution" of labor you speak of? Being single and childless, I do 100% of everything.

[happyhoix]

We only had one child, and all he had to do was keep his crap in his room, he didn't have any assigned chores.

I would be interested to see why you did or didn't assign chores. For me, personally, I had a mom who hated housework and she required her kids to do pretty much 100% of it. We spent Saturdays cleaning the whole house, cooked every dinner, did the dishes every night, and the older sibs were required to clean the youngest sibs room (she was a lot younger than the rest of us, and she never had to do any chores, including cleaning her own room). The only chore my mom did was grocery shop. None of us ever did the chores well enough to suit her, and there were constant fights about that - you have to clean the floors on your hands and knees, for example, mopping isn't allowed. Or after you do the dishes you also have to wipe down all the countertops, cabinets and clean the floors (on your hands and knees). You can't just wash the dishes. Granted on the rare occasions mom stepped in to do the cooking or cleaning, she didn't do it to her own standards, but she insisted we had to. Failure to do our work well enough generated verbal and physical abuse.

From that experienced I swore when I had kids I wouldn't require them to help around the house. It was my house, DH and I would maintain it, the kids only had to deal with their room.

So I admit, I spoiled DS. I should have worked out some kind of reasonable chores for him to do, but given all the turmoil and violence surrounding that issue in my childhood, I avoided it completely. He's moving into his own apartment this weekend, he'll figure out chores soon enough.

[Formerly SK]

My dc are both obsessed with Star Wars droids/clones and when they grow up they plan to build robots that will do all the chores for them. They promised to give me one since I'm their mom.

[muttleynfelix]

DS is 2.5 and his only chore is to keep his toys somewhat picked up.

DH stays home with DS, so I'm not sure it is so much an equitable distribution. I take care of paying the bills, meal planning, about 50% of the cooking, doing laundry of my good clothes and usually one other load a week - so 2 loads total). DH does EVERYTHING else. He cleans everything, he does the dishes, he does laundry, he takes care of the yard and the outside. I try to help him when I can - doing dishes now and then, laundry if I'm up to it, etc. But he does 90% of it. He says I help out "too much" that it is his job because he stays home. DS helps with the cleaning when DH cleans. Yesterday, DH and DS cleaned the house and DH would ask DS what they should clean and DS would say "no its fine" or "yes it is nasty".

[raeoflyte]

Aug 28, 2012 10:24:34 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

What is this "equitable distribution" of labor you speak of? Being single and childless, I do 100% of everything.

That sounds blissful! At least the place always looks like how you left it and you know what to expect.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 28, 2012 9:57:34 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

I do 95% of all housework/yardwork/home maintenance since I'm a SAHM. I don't even think DH knows where the furnace filters go, let alone actually replacing them. Ditto operating the sprinkler system. More than anything, this scares the crap out of me when I return to work. It is going to be a very rough adjustment for us to have him doing 50% of the work around here. DH is a good guy and not lazy, but I can see him arguing to use my new income to outsource work, which IMO defeats the purpose of me working. It's not going to be a fun adjustment.

This is what dh and I are still working on. I did all the house/animal work until we had ds and went back to work. DH has always done his share with ds, but it took a long time and the marriage counselor to get him on board with stepping up in the rest of the house.

Which is what brings up my post because we're going to implement a chore list before baby2 gets here. DH is also going to be dropping to 20 hours a week at work, so I do expect him to take on more house/yard/animal work.

I'm hoping that ds watching dh and I work off of a chore list will also help him learn to keep up and organized on housework and work together.

These are good lists. I'm realizing that I left off cooking and meal prep from our daily chore list... Guess we know where the issues are.

[Phoenix84]

"That sounds blissful! At least the place always looks like how you left it and you know what to expect."

True, it's not all bad. And I don't have to meet anyone's standards but my own. If I am okay with dirty dishes in the sink, I don't have to do them.

[thyme4change]

Hyperactivity runs in my family, and I drink a lot of coffee. I can do it all. Except days that I don't do squat! And then, my husband handles it.

[giramomma]

Chores start at about age 2, that's when we start working with the kids to pick up their toys.

DH works with the kids to do the daily stuff: setting the table, clearing the table, emptying the dishwasher, packing lunches, picking up at night (like a 10 minute tidy) in public places.

I work with the kids on the deep cleaning stuff: My 4 yo can dust really well and clean out bathroom sinks. My DS does the toilet (which improves his aim instantaneously), showers, can run a vacuum. Both kids can pick up their rooms too.

I also start cooking with my kids around age 3 as well. I've got recipes for deserts that can be mixed by hand. Course, one can't live off brownies, but, I figure it's a start, and that's all that matters.

ETA: My DH works 20 hours a week and does the grocery shopping, the cooking, and the laundry. He still had time to go out for a jog with our baby yesterday.

[shanendoah]

As a kid, I vacuumed, dusted, cleaned my room, took turns emptying/loading the dishwasher, sometimes mowed (mostly DBro's chore, but he was allergic to dust and grass, so during really bad allergy season, I'd do it) thought we had a riding lawn mower, so that was kind of fun. In the winter, DBro and I would play games with Dad to see who had to bring in how many armloads of wood. After my parents divorced, and it was just me and mom, I became 100% responsible for a clean kitchen (and that lasted even after mom remarried), and making at least dinner for me (Mom worked two jobs). In addition, I was responsible for my room and vacuuming the rest of the house on a fairly regular basis.

Currently, I feel like we have a pretty good split. I do all the vacuuming and steam cleaning, and most of the mowing. DH will help mow if I ask, but I find it rather zen, so rarely ask. We split the rest of the yard work not quite evenly (he's often out doing tree trimming and blackberry duty while I mow). DH and Roommie take care of major house projects that involve power tools, minor car repairs, etc. Roommie helps with anything heavy. (He used to be a human forklift.)
The three of us take turns keeping the kitchen clean. DH does 60% of the cooking, roommie was 20%, and I do 10%.
I do most of the laundry (DH and I only, roommie does his own), and DH helps with the folding and putting away.
We share dog duty- including taking them out, feeding them, picking up after them.
About 95% of the time, DH and I grocery shop together.
I am responsible for bathroom counters and the tub. DH is responsible for the toilet.
DH does any mopping that needs to be done.

If we need to do a whole house clean, we all work on it together.

When there is a child, I expect to have them help with little things starting pretty young- helping pick up their own toys, maybe dog toys, too. Then, putting away silverware (not sharp knives, though), and work their way up to more things.
I am certain there will be helping with cooking from a very young age, as DH will be the primary caregiver and he loves to cook. I certainly loved helping mix the brownies, or getting to knead dough by hand.

We have very few chemical cleaners in our house to begin with. DH has incredibly sensitive sinuses and anything containing bleach will give him a sinus infection, plus we have dogs. Simple Green is the only chemical cleaner we use- and it's completely non-toxic. We also have Simple Green Pet Stain remover for carpets. Our other carpet cleaners are enzymatic. We mostly clean the bathroom with straight vinegar, or if I need an abrasive, I use a baking soda and water paste.
I do use a color safe bleach for laundry, but that's about it.

And, I actually read this week that vinegar will work as a weed killer. I think I met get out and try that here soon, as weeds have taken over my front lawn.

[Deleted]

Every Sat morning or Sunday afternoon, everyone has to be here and pitch in. We do a whole house cleaning, the bathrooms, vacuuming and tidying up. During the week it is more hit and miss where we take turns in the kitchen or whatever needs done. I especially want to teach my sons that there aren't boy jobs or girl jobs and that the work that needs done is everyone's responsibility.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 10:24:34 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

What is this "equitable distribution" of labor you speak of? Being single and childless, I do 100% of everything.

Heh, I was just thinking that I'm in charge of the living room, bathroom, kitchen and my bedroom. The dog is in charge of barking at the vacuum cleaner to keep it in line and putting the squeaky toys back where they belong. (Apparently, when I put them in the toy bin, that is wrong)