Need parenting advice from you experts

[Firebird]

The basic premise is instead of using a negative approach, like taking something away- you find out what they will work for. Start small and work in the general direction you want them to go.

Seconded. I'm not a parent yet but it was usually effective on me and my younger cousins. Actually, when I was babysitting I would make a game of it, Mary Poppins style If we could clean the kitchen in X minutes, we'd all get a prize... if Kid A finished picking up his room before Kid B, Kid A would get to pick the movie... etc.

But you've tried carrot so I don't know how effective this might be.

[zibazinski]

Just try very hard to make sure your non special needs child feels loved. I know a family where the two normal kids left as soon as they could and cut off all contact with their parents because they felt the special needs child got "everything." is it fair? No, but was it fair to those kids as well? No.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Plastic is bad.

It's less bad that stirring my food with a filthy wooden spoon. In my opinion.

[mox]

"there is a bit more to special education than there, their and they're"

[kittensaver]

Aug 27, 2012 13:36:09 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Plastic is bad.

It's less bad that stirring my food with a filthy wooden spoon. In my opinion.

Hard rock maple is naturally antibacterial. Google the research or check out the John Boos website for details.

I've been cooking with wooden spoons for a few decades now and I've never made anyone sick from using a wooden spoon. I wash them thoroughly and let them air dry.

If you're really concerned about e coli, you can sterilize wood with vinegar and H2O2. [you can Google that research too].

[mox]

How many HAPPY parents are out there now that school has started in some areas? Please come forward...don't feel guilty. ;D

[mox]

*Be prepared for this at the end of the day...

Mom/Dad: How was your first day of school?

Son/daughter: Boring.

[Sum Dum Gai]

How many HAPPY parents are out there now that school has started in some areas? Please come forward...don't feel guilty. ;D

School started for us last week. It's a mixed blessing. On the one hand the kids aren't hanging out all day complaining of boredom. On the other we have to wake them up at 6:30 again, which is probably my least favorite chore ever!

[mox]

"On the other we have to wake them up at 6:30 again, which is probably my least favorite chore ever!"

In high school, my kids had to be on the bus by 6:15am which means they set their alarms for an hour earlier to shower, etc. I felt bad for them with all their activities, late night studying, so until they could drive, I let them sleep in and drove them myself...we didn't have to leave the house until 7am. They were the first pick-up on the bus and were on it FOREVER! My babies needed their rest.

[mox]

^So nice when my son got his license and parking pass his junior year and could drive the two of them.

[mox]

A trip to their hs was 18 miles round trip.

[Tiny]

Not a parent - but as kid that use to not pick up her stuff (and drove my mother crazy -- and I had the ever present threat of the Belt) i have a suggestion: One day at a friend's house - when it was time for me to leave (dinner) and we had created a widespread mess with the toys - my friend's mom had us play a final game of "One, Two, Three, Pickup!" - basically she started counting and we had to see how fast we could gather up the mess and get it all back where it belonged. Neatness of the 'toy closet' didn't matter - just that the stuff had to back in it's box/container and in the closet. Many hands make fast work so it took all of about 2 minutes to get everything put a way. It didn't have to be a perfect 'clean up' so it was FUN.

At some point I applied the "1,2,3 pickup" game to my mess at home -- it made my mom stop screaming at me -- until she realized she could scream at me because I didn't put the stuff away 'correctly'. Whatever.

But, to this day, I still do what I call a "10 minute Tidy" to help keep my house in order - I set the timer and then I go tidy up a room. It's a very powerful productive use of time and energy. I sometimes even play a game of '1,2,3 pickup' when I need to get something done fast.

[Spellbound454]

If we could clean the kitchen in X minutes, we'd all get a prize...

Sure...don't sweat the small stuff......they are still quite young.

I'd do the above........ie....Lets get cleared up then you can go out to play.

You can save the harsh punishments for when they have been really naughty.....otherwise the punishments will lose their impact.

They need a lot of clear structure in the early teenage years and they start straining at the leash....Lots of rewards and sanctions so they know exactly where they are.....and where they can be best kept safe.

[Deleted]

It was a pleasure reading this thread.. I think there's many formulas to glean from here that may help parents' to raise healthy children..

I always helped my children clean their personal areas when they were three years and up through eight/nine years of age.. I used many strategies that helped for a while, but to be honest, none had very lasting effects on that son of mine (while he was living in the home).. My daughter's personal area was palatable.. Today my son is an extremely neat guy. I didn't give up on my son keeping his bedroom clean as I personally would've liked it to be while he was here.. I just choose to dwell on other areas in his life like, his studies and social skills etc.. His work ethics are top notch. He really turned out okay.

I had a few rules for he and his sister's personal spaces (bedroom) after they turned late teens.. No food allowed. No boys/girls allowed. And no odors emitting from their bedrooms. And oh, please keep bedroom doors shut at all times. This does not work in every home and I'm not suggesting it should.. Just another type strategy is all..

I think a parents' blueprint to help promote the positives in their children's lives, change according to age and level of maturity. Nothing new there. I now ask myself with some of what I know now- Would I want some of my past ways and means to promote the positives in my children lives, passed down to their children, my grandchildren?

I r-e-a-l-l-y like the freedom to tweak..

Some of you are quite comical, but I feel the sincerity between your lines of laughter; your want to do this thing right.. Tell your babies ya love 'em tonight before they turn in for the night.. No matter how old they are.