Facebook & Privacy

[Firebird]

For those of you who use Facebook, do you ever feel weird when people post photos of you without your permission, or tag you in posts - stuff like that?

I love it when people post pictures or funny stories about their kids (keeping in touch with people who don't live nearby is supposed to be part of the point of the thing, after all) but sometimes I get a little skeeved out when I see posts that say things like "Caleb went #2 in the toilet today for the first time! Yay Caleb!"

And I sometimes really wish people would ask before posting pictures of me. I've been trying to keep my pregnancy a secret on Facebook, so I asked if my cousin would mind NOT posting the photos of me that she took at my baby shower. She seemed totally thrown by the request, like she couldn't imagine why I wouldn't want that. (We compromised - she posted the photos but kept the album private and didn't tag me, so unless you're her friend you won't be able to see them.)

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else feels weird about how ubiquitous Facebook has become and how we're all supposed to just be okay with that.

(P.S. Sometimes I get confused when I see people referring to Facebook as FB because I always think everything is about me... so take it easy on the "I hate FB!" posts please!!

[swamp]

Unless I'm doing something really dumb, I'm ok with tagging me in pictures on FB. Thankfully my public idiocy has been pretty limited since I joined FB.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...I notice the FB confusion myself... you're ubiquitous! ;D


...and yes, sometimes my FB friends who don't play their cards close to the vest make me uncomfortable with their sharing info/pix of me... hasn't reached a point to unfriend them or leave FB altogether, though...

[Firebird]

I'm pretty sure you can un-tag yourself but I"m not sure how to do it.

You can, and you can also send a request to the poster to take the photo down. The options are all listed beneath each picture.

Untagging for me doesn't really solve the problem... because it's still out there. If I look like a warthog in a photo, I don't want the photo being seen by everyone in sight. If I look cute, I'll tag the thing myself.

[Firebird]

Aug 22, 2012 17:37:46 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

I am curious about you keeping your pregnancy a secret on FB... it's none of my business, obviously, but what happens when you start posting pictures of your baby and making posts about how babybird just pooped in her diaper? People will be all lke "whoa.. when did FB get a baby?"

Nine months after it had a special night with MySpace...

I don't mind people knowing when Babybird arrives. I just like to keep the pregnancy part somewhat private. You guys know because... um... you're special I guess.

There's really no rhyme or reason to it. This is the only online community (of three that I participate in on a regular basis) on which I talk about Babybird at all - it just worked out that way, I like it that way, and I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

Aug 22, 2012 17:40:23 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I'm pretty sure you can un-tag yourself but I"m not sure how to do it.

You can, and you can also send a request to the poster to take the photo down. The options are all listed beneath each picture.

Untagging for me doesn't really solve the problem... because it's still out there. If I look like a warthog in a photo, I don't want the photo being seen by everyone in sight. If I look cute, I'll tag the thing myself.

...you should be able to change your privacy settings that make any tagging of you to be approved first... shows up in an activity queue that you then okay before it hits your wall... that may work for your need...

[bean29]

Well this is not directly related to your OP but my husbands family seems to have someone trying to scam them to send $$.

DH has two brothers that live in a southern state, Some family out west and lots of family in the Midwest. They also have a lot of family living in Mexico.

About a week ago his Uncle got a call that his brother was in a car accident on his way to Mexico. He was supposed to be embarrassed and did not want to tell his family. I think the Uncle decided it was really odd that his DN did not call his mother or his brother as they could well afford to send him $$, so he got off the phone and call MIL. MIL called BIL's house and they said he was at work and definitely not on his way to Mexico.

Yesterday My MIL got a call from someone claiming to be one of her DN's in Mexico. He said he wanted to come for a visit. MIL assumed he was who he said he was and Mentioned my DH's name. Caller told MIL the visit was supposed to be a surprise, and not to tell DH. MIL tells DH everything, I don't think she was necessarily suspicious, even DH believed the story, but he told his Mother to call MX and tell his cousin he would pick him up in Chicago at the airport. MIL called MX and found out her DN does not have a visa, is not planning a trip to the US, and did not call her.

DH thinks someone is linked into facebook and mining for data. We are not quite sure what their purpose is.

But, I was talking to a co-worker this AM about how my smartphone pulls in my facebook contacts, and I realized that my very wealthy Dear aunt's (my side of family not DH's) phone number is in my phone directory and I am pretty sure it pulled in with my facebook contact info and I never entered it.

Can you imagine what a wealth of info scammers can get off of your facebook contact list?

I am glad you and your cousin came to an agreement. I have to say I don't go on facebook often, but when people post the pics they forward to my smartphone and I enjoy looking at them.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Go to your Facebook account and click on Privacy Settings.
Where it says TIMELINE AND TAGGING, hit "Edit Settings."
Turn to "on" Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline
Under "who can see posts you've been tagged in on your Timeline" select CUSTOM and set it to ONLY ME
Turn "on" Review tags friends add to your own posts on Facebook

[thyme4change]

I don't get skeeved out when people post about their kid's potty habits, any more than I do when they talk about them. Once you are a parent, you will realize that kid's poop is actually something to discuss. I'm neither here nor there on it, and I don't think it is any weirder on facebook. I also don't think that will haunt them forever. I might if it were a blog, I was well followed and I was repeatedly giving intimate details about my kids - but I'm pretty sure that history won't give a toot what I say on Facebook.

I don't mind when people post pictures of me. It makes me appear to have a life outside of gymnastics practice and soccer games. Although, sometimes people post pictures of me at soccer games - so it really only looks like other parents like me enough to take a picture of me and actually know my name. I'm less weirded out by people posting pictures of me than what my husband and I call "The Douchebag Parade" which is where we post these fabulous pictures of us and our perfect family traveling all around the country, posing in front of all the landmarks, smiling and holding a sign that says "We are better than you!" We don't really think that - but sometimes I wonder if other people feel that way about our pictures.

After 40-some odd years of thinking that nobody gave a crap about anything I ever did or said, I just don't know why I would go on facebook and hide my life. Do I really think that anyone cares enough that I need to hide something? In general, even when I scream from the rooftops, the only ones listening are the people who are as bored as I am - and they are hoping that I might offer them a little piece of entertainment. Even if that entertainment is to say "Their latest vacation pictures make them look like a family of douchebags."

[bean29]

Aug 22, 2012 17:53:19 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

Go to your Facebook account and click on Privacy Settings.
Where it says TIMELINE AND TAGGING, hit "Edit Settings."
Turn to "on" Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline
Under "who can see posts you've been tagged in on your Timeline" select CUSTOM and set it to ONLY ME
Turn "on" Review tags friends add to your own posts on Facebook

Done. Thanks for the suggestions.

[Firebird]

Aug 22, 2012 18:06:25 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Aug 22, 2012 17:53:19 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

Go to your Facebook account and click on Privacy Settings.
Where it says TIMELINE AND TAGGING, hit "Edit Settings."
Turn to "on" Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline
Under "who can see posts you've been tagged in on your Timeline" select CUSTOM and set it to ONLY ME
Turn "on" Review tags friends add to your own posts on Facebook

Done. Thanks for the suggestions.

Yes, thank you.

[bean29]

FB I got what you were saying. When we went on vacation in November I took pics intending to post to FaceBook. When we got back I had family review b/c I wanted to use the pics for a family X-mas card. Invariably one family member did not like each of the pics I chose. I did not do a picture card and I never posted any of the pics to face book.

I am not into embarassing family. Some of the pics I was tagged in on FaceBook Iwould not have posted. Now that they are there, I will not take them down, but I did modify my profile and in the future if I don't like them I won't allow them to go on my timeline/wall.

[raeoflyte]

My in-laws forbid us from posting pictures or referencing them in anyway because dh was friends with someone they didn't like. Once the friend found out, he un-friended dh to keep the peace and now my in-laws post anything and everything and never ask us permission. I do take the liberty of going through fil's camera and I have deleted really bad pictures of myself.

I do need to update my privacy settings, and I am planning converting my real account to use for business and making a fake account for friends.

I like to see people's pictures and quick updates about the family, but the political and religious nonsense sends me over the edge.

[Firebird]

I am not into embarassing family. Some of the pics I was tagged in on FaceBook Iwould not have posted. Now that they are there, I will not take them down, but I did modify my profile and in the future if I don't like them I won't allow them to go on my timeline/wall.

Of course, whether or not a picture is embarrassing is in the eye of the beholder to some extent. There's a photograph of my aunt from my wedding that I think is adorable - she's got such a classic "Aunt Jane" expression on her face and I just love it. And I do think she looks good. But my dad insisted it was a hideous photo of her and was kind of mad for putting it in our album - he said that I wouldn't like it if someone used that photo of me.

I have no idea whether my aunt likes the picture or not (she hasn't seen the book yet) but I hope she doesn't hate it, because I'm not sure what we can do about it if she does. It was actually this incident that made me start thinking that it's really important to get permission from people before using their photos for anything.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 17:40:23 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I'm pretty sure you can un-tag yourself but I"m not sure how to do it.

You can, and you can also send a request to the poster to take the photo down. The options are all listed beneath each picture.

Untagging for me doesn't really solve the problem... because it's still out there. If I look like a warthog in a photo, I don't want the photo being seen by everyone in sight. If I look cute, I'll tag the thing myself.

Two things my friends know; if you take my picture you are going to keep clicking until I look good and any picture I don't look good in gets destroyed. They all go along with this because I do the same for them and I take way more pictures than they do

[raeoflyte]

Aug 22, 2012 18:33:36 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I am not into embarassing family. Some of the pics I was tagged in on FaceBook Iwould not have posted. Now that they are there, I will not take them down, but I did modify my profile and in the future if I don't like them I won't allow them to go on my timeline/wall.

Of course, whether or not a picture is embarrassing is in the eye of the beholder to some extent. There's a photograph of my aunt from my wedding that I think is adorable - she's got such a classic "Aunt Jane" expression on her face and I just love it. And I do think she looks good. But my dad insisted it was a hideous photo of her and was kind of mad for putting it in our album - he said that I wouldn't like it if someone used that photo of me.

I have no idea whether my aunt likes the picture or not (she hasn't seen the book yet) but I hope she doesn't hate it, because I'm not sure what we can do about it if she does. It was actually this incident that made me start thinking that it's really important to get permission from people before using their photos for anything.

Eh--it's in YOUR book and you like the picture. I wouldn't stress about it, and it wouldn't be practical to run every picture by everyone.

There was an awful picture of dh and I in sil's wedding album. The look on our faces pretty much summed up the way I felt about the union. She included it because it was the only picture of he and I together. We still go to the same photographer and laugh about it now that they are divorced.

[thyme4change]

The problem is that some people are so self-critical it is ridiculous. I don't have time for you to nit-pick every detail of every picture you are in. And I'll give you a clue - for the most part, if you hate every picture of yourself except 3 - then it isn't the pictures...hint, hint. I don't post anything of anyone that is really a bad picture, but if you are going to freak out over every photo I post of you - fine, I will never take a picture of you again, and I will talk, behind your back, about how insecure you are, and shouldn't we be over this kind of shit by high school or so?

[Firebird]

There was an awful picture of dh and I in sil's wedding album. The look on our faces pretty much summed up the way I felt about the union.



The problem is that some people are so self-critical it is ridiculous.

Yeah, yeah, DH says the same thing about me (that I shouldn't worry so much about how I look in pics). But everyone has something they're insecure about, is it really nice to trash someone for whom it happens to be the way they look in photographs?

[Apple]

I really don't worry too much on my fake account, I think I only untagged myself from one picture (then blocked it) because, whiled it was a joke, it was way inappropriate for my work computer or my son to see).
I posted one on there that would have horrified DS because it was embarrassing, but I only put it on my apple account, not my real one, so no family or friends he knows will see it.

[Miss Tequila]

I HATE the way I look in pictures...seriously HATE to see myself...and my friends have a way of getting snapshots of me when I am making horrible faces! If it is a funny picture I will leave it tagged...but if it is just God awful I will untag myself...yeah, I'm shallow, I admit it :-p

For those that have no life and just yammer on about what they are cooking for dinner, what their kid did that day or worse...nonstop political shit...I just hide them. This way, we appear to still be friends but I am not bored to tears by their boring ass posts.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 18:24:41 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I like to see people's pictures and quick updates about the family, but the political and religious nonsense sends me over the edge.

I agree. Even when it's something that expresses my thoughts on a person/issue, it's irritating and I never re-post, Like or Comment. No need to encourage them.

My concern with my own pictures is that some just aren't flattering. I'm 59, I have frown lines and the beginning of jowls, and when my face is in repose, sometimes I just look grim. Not my personality at all. I've been tagged in a few that are unflattering, but none that are embarrassing. Since my Profile pic shows me in a wet suit dressed like Jacques Cousteau on a ship in Alaska, though, I have pretty loose standards!

[Taxman10]

Aug 22, 2012 17:30:21 GMT -5 Firebird said:

For those of you who use Facebook, do you ever feel weird when people post photos of you without your permission, or tag you in posts - stuff like that?

so should i ask for your permission before or after I post your picture??

;-)

[Deleted]

HA! Now I get it!!

The only picture that kind of weirded me out was from my friend's wedding in WA. One of her friends took a picture of me while I was talking to TD & mich and posted it on her FB account. I was just thrown by the fact that I had no idea she was taking my picture more than anything.

[Taxman10]

Aug 23, 2012 8:53:17 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

HA! Now I get it!!

I am the Knight Industries Three Thousand. You may call me "K.I.T.T."

[Deleted]

It's much nicer than some of the other things I've called you! ;D

[Taxman10]

K.I.T.T.: Is that you, Michael?
Michael Knight: Yeah.
K.I.T.T.: You look like crap.
Michael Knight: Well, so do you, pal.
K.I.T.T.: At least I have an excuse. You've obviously gone down the toilet since we split up, Michael. Get a life.
Michael Knight: I got a life and a body, too, which is more I than I can say for you.

[Taxman10]

Aug 23, 2012 8:57:27 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

It's much nicer than some of the other things I've called you! ;D

LOL!

;D ;D

[tcu2003]

In general, I don't mind if I'm tagged in a post or a picture, though I have untagged myself in a couple of really unflattering pictures. My pet peeve is people posting info about my son on FB. I make a conscious effort to not refer to him by his name on FB - only by his first initial. As an infant, he's too young to make his own decisions about social media, and I also don't want to make it easier for any child predators to get information about him. Paranoid/overprotective a bit - probably yes, especially as my FB privacy settings are pretty high, but regardless, it's my and my DH's decision. So I have deleted posts on my wall/timeline where people refer to my son by his name.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 17:40:22 GMT -5 @rj said:

I never post my own pictures, Everything I post is my brother and his wife ;D He doesnt even have FB.






So anyone that thinks they know me, WRONG LOL

If that is true...that is a bit creepy. Why would you let people believe that pictures of your brother is you?

[Firebird]

tcu, it's totally your decision. Who cares if people think you're being paranoid? They should still respect your wishes.

Case in point: we live in a very kid-heavy neighborhood and our shared yard is a common gathering spot for the neighbor's children. They're nice kids and they are all very fascinated by Tessercat. Every time we let her out, they want to play with her and pet her (she's an amazingly good sport about this, go figure). Yesterday I snapped a quick shot of five or six of them crowded around her while she was holding court.

Freaking adorable shot and I SO wanted to post it on Facebook. But I didn't, because I don't know all the kids by name and I don't know if their parents would be okay with a stranger posting a random photo of them online. More than likely they wouldn't care, but I know that I would at least like to be asked if I were their mom.