So my daughter rented a ...

[Deleted]

My daughter and boyfriend moved into their apartment last week and I went over to see it. It is horrible! The floors are so uneven that they had to set their boxspring on the floor because the wheels on the bedframe would send their bed across the room.

The light switch in the bedroom has no switch plate cover and honestly I've never seen a switch like it before. A standard plastic cover wouldn't work. The light in the living room is two bare light bulbs with no cover of any kind.

The kitchen is tiny. The cabinets are old and the doors don't hang right. There are two knobs missing on the drawer and cabinet door. Since the floors are so uneven the refrigerator is on the floor on one side and propped up a couple of inches on the other side to keep it level!

I realize this is a college town and expectations are pretty low for young people starting out but aren't there building codes that this violates?

When I saw the place I asked her if she signed a six month lease and she said no-we signed a 12 month lease! For the record I told her not to sign anything without me looking at it first and she went ahead and did it anyway.

[Deleted]

My sympathy, but you aren't living there. There must have been something that your daughter and her bf really liked. It may have been the cost, the location, the proximity to the bars . . . only they can explain their motivation.

So you didn't have to cosign? How old are your daughter and her boyfriend? Alabama is a little different in that you can not sign a legally binding contract until you are 19 so my question is somewhat skewed by the fact that unless one of them was 19 or older, they couldn't rent it at all--without a cosigner.

But I am surprised that they were able to rent at all without the cosigner. Can they have much of a credit history? Did they have the money?

As far as codes, it may have been up to code when built. You want to know the code for habitability, if there is such a thing.

Meanwhile, I would take move-in pictures so the kids don't get dinged for something that was already broken when they moved in.

[Deleted]

If there are no bugs or rats and the water is clean and the heater works in winter it is paradise. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[constanz22]

Eh, I say, let it go...sounds like she's young and just starting out. I'm sure my parents were less than thrilled with a couple of my first apartments. It's probably all they could afford, and had a landlord that wasn't going to require first, last and security or a credit check. She'll survive, and maybe it will motivate her to work hard so she can afford a nicer place later. And, I say, kudos to her for taking what she can afford and not having the mentality that she NEEDS a gated condo complex with pool, gym, granite and stainless steel on a probably minimum wage job.

[Deleted]

She says there aren't any bugs or rodents. I never even checked the water. It looks like she had showered so I assume that it works! I guess I'm concerned that if a landlord would let little easy fixes go such as a couple of cabinet knobs then what type of maintenance is done on larger items such as heat?

I am pretty concerned about the floor. How much can a floor slope without it collapsing? My first apartment and my first house had floors that were uneven. I could roll a pop bottle across them. My room mate and I had a pop bottle race once when we were bored. That being said I've never seen floors sloped so much!

I did NOT co-sign and would not have co-signed for this place. I'm not sure my daughter actually likes it but she said that her boyfriend picked it and once he sets his mind to something he won't change it.

My husband says now she'll have great stories about her first apartment.

[InsertCoolName]

I'm gonna assume she is an adult. As in legal age. Some of my best memories are from living in places that weren't nice.

Here there are NO RULES that landlords have to follow. They can do whatever they want and have a place how ever they want. Nothing can be done about it. Period.

Other than uneven floors everything is just cosmetics. They can either pay to have the stuff fixed their selves or ask the landlord about it. OR....they can live with it.

Every young person has to start off on the bottom. Work your way up. That's how we learn to value things.

[Deleted]

Insert Cool Name, I get that. I had a crappy first apartment myself. I agree that it's character building and I have great stories about being independent and all. I agree that the cabinet knobs are cosmetic and if my daughter had a problem with it she should have said something. I'm not so sure about the missing switch plate. The wires are visible and the wiring is old so maybe that is a problem? My daughter wanted to go out and buy a switch plate but the switch is old and wider than current switches so I don't think it would work.

The floors make me nervous. I've never been in a building that off before.

[constanz22]

I'd be more concerned about her 1.) living with a boyfriend at that age and 2.) a boyfriend that sounds like he has control issues and wouldn't take her feelings about where they live into consideration. Unless HE rented the apartment and is paying the rent and bills and she is just living there...

[Deleted]

For the record I am not happy about her living with her boyfriend. I was also not happy about her comment about his picking the place. At this time however, he is the one paying the bills. She has a very part-time job and hasn't received a paycheck yet.

It's the worst of both worlds. He picked the place, has the job and she signed the lease too.

[Green Eyed Lady]

The "living together" ship has sailed, Cyanne. Perhaps you can add a little something here and there to make the place a little brighter. Maybe a moving in present like some new knobs! I wish them both luck. I assume she's of majority age so she is going to do what she wants. Just make sure she has a place to come home to if things don't work out for her.

[InsertCoolName]

I'm sure there is a place she could go, or even you to check on the building? We don't have anything here to protect renters so no such place is here. A friend rented a house that the town had condemned but they still turned the water and lights on.

Check with the city for any buildings that haven't been inspected? Or something like that. I know someone here will be able to tell you where to look for that kind of thing.

If there is zoning of some sort there then maybe something can be done. But she will probably be asked/told to leave.

[Deleted]

I agree that the "living together" ship has sailed. That's why I didn't say much about it in the original post. If I could make decisions for my daughter they would be very different. She is 19 and is in charge of her own life but somehow likes to call us up and ask us to bail her out when it all falls down on her head.

[Gardening Grandma]

May 28, 2012 13:59:28 GMT -5 cyanne said:

I agree that the "living together" ship has sailed. That's why I didn't say much about it in the original post. If I could make decisions for my daughter they would be very different. She is 19 and is in charge of her own life but somehow likes to call us up and ask us to bail her out when it all falls down on her head.

Well, if you do choose to bail her out when things go south, all you will really accomplish will be to stunt her maturity process. Baring real issues (homelessness or abuse) I would not be Plan B.

[Deleted]

I lived with 3 guys before marriage (one who has been my husband for 15 years now). I turned out ok. I have a Bachelor's degree and will be working on my Master's starting in August.

The only thing that concerns me about her living arrangement is the fact that he picked the place without her input (or so it seems). It wouldn't bother me at all if my children lived with someone before marriage. I think it is better than them getting married and THEN realizing that they can't live with the person.

Back to the OP though....it sounds like a typical slum college rental. There were several of those types of places in our college town. Some worse than other and we all survived them just fine.

[moxie]

"When I saw the place I asked her if she signed a six month lease and she said no-we signed a 12 month lease! For the record I told her not to sign anything without me looking at it first and she went ahead and did it anyway."

Been there, done that. lol Have you ever seen the inside of a frat house? This sounds like the Hilton in comparison. If there are no rats, I think they will be okay, Mom.

[moxie]

"living with a boyfriend at that age"

My daughter, age 19, lived with her boyfriend (nice guy) for two years of college. They dated for five years before breaking up amicably. Their place was awesome! Two bedrooms...one for each of them, although I am pretty sure there was some traveling between. lol We felt them living together was okay, it worked financially. I also personally felt better about her having a guy around...for safety reasons. I think living together in college is fine...just don't procreate! We had many discussions with both of them prior to them living together...our expectations.

[moxie]

My son lived with his gf as well...they are no longer...it's funny what you learn when you live with someone. I personally would recommend that anyone thinking of marrying someone live with them for at least two years prior.

[constanz22]

I didn't live with a boyfriend until my 30's! I just think that at 19, you have enough to worry about in learning to be an adult. Living with someone (significant other) can really complicate things. Now, not only is this 19 year old living with a guy, she's also depending on him to support her, so, even if he is a controlling ass, she will probably stay cuz she doesn't have the means financially, or the sense of independence or confidence to be able to make it on her own.

[Opti]

OP, if you are really concerned you can try talking to the building inspector in your town to get ideas of whether that sloping floor might be a huge issue or not. It is always possible that the foundation has shifted and the issue isn't even the floor. Without inspecting the building its hard to know what the real issue is.

[weltschmerz]

My daughter and boyfriend moved into their apartment last week and I went over to see it. It is horrible! The floors are so uneven that they had to set their boxspring on the floor because the wheels on the bedframe would send their bed across the room.

The light switch in the bedroom has no switch plate cover and honestly I've never seen a switch like it before. A standard plastic cover wouldn't work. The light in the living room is two bare light bulbs with no cover of any kind.

The kitchen is tiny. The cabinets are old and the doors don't hang right. There are two knobs missing on the drawer and cabinet door. Since the floors are so uneven the refrigerator is on the floor on one side and propped up a couple of inches on the other side to keep it level!
---------------
I'm impressed! This place sounds like the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg, compared to my first digs. I was happy, though. That's all that matters.

[moxie]

"I didn't live with a boyfriend until my 30's! I just think that at 19, you have enough to worry about in learning to be an adult. Living with someone (significant other) can really complicate things. Now, not only is this 19 year old living with a guy, she's also depending on him to support her, so, even if he is a controlling ass, she will probably stay cuz she doesn't have the means financially, or the sense of independence or confidence to be able to make it on her own."

*My daughter and her boyfriend split expenses 50/50...by the time they moved in together they had already dated two years. It wasn't until after they had lived together for two years, both graduated and worked for a bit that they decided to part ways. I am glad she had the experience of living with him to know that ultimately that he was not "the one."

[TheOtherMe]

I never lived with my boyfriend, but I did live in a hippie commune. You should have heard my parents on that! It was cheap.

[Deleted]

I'm not necessarily against couples living together-I'm against my 19 year old daughter signing a 12 month lease with her boyfriend of 3 months. She's pretty impulsive and I'm afraid there will be a bad outcome.

[moxie]

"but I did live in a hippie commune."

AWESOME...free weed? *Did you bathe?

[moxie]

"her boyfriend of 3 months"

Yeah...that's a bit impulsive!

[moxie]

I hope they are practicing birth control...that was part of our conversation years ago...

[moxie]

They WILL be having SEX!

[Deleted]

I hope so too. I'm paying for it so I hope she's using it! I will continue to pay that as long as necessary too!


I had to come back and edit this because you posted "They will be having sex." and it looked like my reply was "I hope so too" in response to that comment instead of "I hope their using birth control"...

[Plain Old Petunia]

May 28, 2012 14:15:56 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

Well, if you do choose to bail her out when things go south, all you will really accomplish will be to stunt her maturity process. Baring real issues (homelessness or abuse) I would not be Plan B.

I agree. Part of being an adult is making choices and dealing with the consequences. Unpleasant consequences are what teach many of us to make better choices.

[Deleted]

May 28, 2012 17:38:39 GMT -5 Opti said:

OP, if you are really concerned you can try talking to the building inspector in your town to get ideas of whether that sloping floor might be a huge issue or not. It is always possible that the foundation has shifted and the issue isn't even the floor. Without inspecting the building its hard to know what the real issue is.

She doesn't live in the same town as me. She moved to another state. I live on the border so she's not that far. I don't know what the codes are in her town/state.