Naggie, look for any change in his patterns. Does he work late? Did he change his wardrobe? Decide to try silk boxers perhaps? Start playing raquetball or whatever after work with his buddies? Look just a little sheepish when he comes home?
Those were all signs my ex exhibited when he was cheating.
Post by naggie1972 on Jan 11, 2012 19:42:13 GMT -5
Well I did notice that he brushed his teeth before a dinner meeting (twice). He was able to come home before going to the dinner meeting. That piqued my attention. I am hesitant to straight out ask at this point because really he ain't going to tell me the truth. He has had a lot of dinner meetings lately, he usually has them but one week it was every night. HMMM Just have to keep paying attention.
Post by dancinmama on Jan 11, 2012 19:56:45 GMT -5
naggie: Are you really serious?
They say that the wife is the last to know, but I don't think this is true. I think that most "know" deep down inside, but are in denial.
Back in the day, I had a co-worker who it happened to. In hindsight she noted that "all of a sudden" he had started to lose weight, started to work out, and paid a lot more attention to how he dressed.
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 12, 2012 1:04:14 GMT -5
If a person's lying or avoiding a question, they'll likely dart their eyes to one side (usually their right) when they're thinking of their response. They probably won't look at you directly when answering.
Isn't there one of those reality shows you can submit him to - I think it is called Cheaters. They follow the guy until they catch him with the other woman & then they bring the wife on location to "catch them" or if time doesn't allow they show her the video of the encounter.
Lots of dinner meetings - maybe, maybe not. Coming home before the meeting is kind of weird - it's much more stealthy to keep the toothbrush and stuff at work so it just looks like an extended day of work to the spouse. Whenever our execs were in town, we had to attend many after work functions with them & drink a lot (you know, back when that was in vogue). So you might be expected to show up almost every night for a week. I used to hate that.
If he just doesn't come home one night & tries to tell you that he had too much to drink and just crashed at a friends house, well, then the jig is up.
Here's what Cosmo has to say on the topic: 1. He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,” says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.
2. He steps up the grooming. “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked,” says Vranich. You can actually thank porn for this tipoff. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym.
3. He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,” offers Vranich. So pay attention, because in this case, that old saying “the nose knows” might very well be true.
4. Nothing fazes him anymore. “If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”
Post by KindeBabe's Kupid Kiss on Jan 12, 2012 9:06:19 GMT -5
ALL cheaters are revealed in time...some longer- some shorter and even at funerals when too many She or He 'friends' with their obvious display of loss, or by confession by the cheater out of guilty conscience...it is ALL revealed eventually.
I have never had the password to his PC and he left his phone in the toilet last weekend but he had a password swipe on it. Though I have seen him do it many times before I couldn't believe my luck but couldn't get into his phone. Then like the idiot I am I told him that I found his phone, and he said "Yeah I know" I am like you in no way remembered you had left your phone in the toilet. No way did he rememember. He said I am glad that you didn't trigger the phone to wipe after not gettting in, which I suppose is possible.
I am not sure if he is having sex but I think he has a fling/crush on the side.
Last Edit: Jan 13, 2012 8:55:12 GMT -5 by naggie1972 - Back to Top
Post by lilyofcourse on Jan 13, 2012 9:03:02 GMT -5
If your gut tells you something is wrong then listen to it. How did I know? Change in showering habits. The way he groomed himself changed. His attitude toward me changed. His attitude in general changed. he started buying his own underwear and would come in and go straight to the shower. Money would be missing. And then there was the late nights or hours during the day when he couldnt be found. You know. You may not want to accept it or admit it. But you know.
Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 14, 2012 15:35:36 GMT -5
I don't think I would handle it well and I would follow his ass to his mettings without him knowing. Getting proof of it before and then handing his ass to him is what I would do. I haven't ever been suspisious of anything, and have mellowed over the years but DH knows I have some of my mothers temper and that's some crazy no one wants to see I'm sorry, I hope it turns out to be nothing
Post by naggie1972 on Jan 15, 2012 10:25:56 GMT -5
If my car was working I actually thought about that, he mostly tells me what restaurant he is at. I don't know why my gut is telling me something but it. It has never told me anything like this before but we have gone through a tough time (well me) last year that I am no longer able to trust anything.
Post by femmefatale on Jan 15, 2012 12:13:12 GMT -5
There are always signs. Is he ignoring you more? Is he more distant than usual? How about the intimacy...is it the same? Does he still come home at normal hours? Does he constantly make excuses? Those sort of things.
Post by cranberry49 on Jan 16, 2012 20:26:37 GMT -5
My ex cheated on me and I just 'felt' it. It's something one cannot really put their finger on. I am, in no way, natured a jealous woman. But, I constantly felt 'uncomfortable' with 'something' about my ex'es behavior. Sure enough, he got caught is so many lies; not only by me, but my kids constantly saw him where he should not be. So, to make a long story short. I bid my time. Got my act together, ignored him as much as possible and left as soon as I could! I did not argue the fact. Did not threaten, etc...I figure if someone does not want me, I damn sure aint gonna fight for them! Turned out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now have a wonderful, truly devoted husband!