Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 13, 2011 11:44:54 GMT -5
The last guy who told me "let's be friends" seemed very sincere about it. Then he simply stopped calling, or talking to me at all, and would only respond to my emails with the shortest response possible. Some "friend" he was. Don't say it if you don't mean it, although it doesn't sound like you plan to say it anyway. Good luck!
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Post by efco on Jan 13, 2011 11:47:11 GMT -5
I've never said it's over. For me it's always the other way around.
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 11:49:56 GMT -5
I think it should be said in person and in the most sincere manner, I'm going with that.
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 13, 2011 11:51:06 GMT -5
This is what PMs are for!
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Post by jennml on Jan 13, 2011 11:52:58 GMT -5
Bullet points would look like this. * <name> Hello * Your a wonderful lady. * You deserve a better man than me * We need to move on * Thank you for all the fond memories. * Wish you well * Take care. <my name> hmmm...idk that "you deserve a better man than me" sounds a lot like "it's me not you" but prettier LOL Anyone have any suggestions for better phrasing? I'm stumped...I'd just say something like "I don't feel the same passion for you like I did in the begining and it's not fair to keep stringing you along." But that might be too harsh...
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 11:55:37 GMT -5
I there a love triangle between QQ and Jenn and "others"
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Post by jennml on Jan 13, 2011 11:56:24 GMT -5
I there a love triangle between QQ and Jenn and "others" Js apparently got love hexagons going on LMAO
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 13, 2011 11:57:04 GMT -5
Bullet points would look like this. * <name> Hello * Your a wonderful lady. * You deserve a better man than me * We need to move on * Thank you for all the fond memories. * Wish you well * Take care. <my name> hmmm...idk that "you deserve a better man than me" sounds a lot like "it's me not you" but prettier LOL Anyone have any suggestions for better phrasing? I'm stumped...I'd just say something like "I don't feel the same passion for you like I did in the begining and it's not fair to keep stringing you along." But that might be too harsh... I agree that it's just a fancier way of saying "it's not you, it's me". I'd be a little more honest -- "I understand you really care for me. You're a wonderful person, but I can't reciprocate your feelings. I don't think it's fair to either of us to continue a relationship if I don't feel as strongly for you as you do for me. You should be with someone who cares for you as deeply as you care for them."
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 11:59:22 GMT -5
Jenn, sometimes being "harsh" is right way..don't know.. that's the reason for this thread. btw.... J from NY ? LOL, your friends must love that... will not say it, will not say it.... J-Low... damn did say it ..........................
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2011 11:59:50 GMT -5
You can also say that you feel that you're just not in the same place right now...
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kimber45
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Post by kimber45 on Jan 13, 2011 12:00:18 GMT -5
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 12:03:03 GMT -5
Rose G. great idea!! adding that to the bullet points
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Post by jennml on Jan 13, 2011 12:04:04 GMT -5
I agree that it's just a fancier way of saying "it's not you, it's me". I'd be a little more honest -- "I understand you really care for me. You're a wonderful person, but I can't reciprocate your feelings. I don't think it's fair to either of us to continue a relationship if I don't feel as strongly for you as you do for me. You should be with someone who cares for you as deeply as you care for them."
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Jan 13, 2011 12:05:39 GMT -5
Dallas, if you don't mind my asking - did you have a gradual decline in feeling toward her or was it an "aha" moment?
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Post by jennml on Jan 13, 2011 12:06:34 GMT -5
Jenn, sometimes being "harsh" is right way..don't know.. that's the reason for this thread. btw.... J from NY ? LOL, your friends must love that... will not say it, will not say it.... J-Low... damn did say it .......................... Are you calling me J.Lo? If so, you are soooo lucky this isn't a first date buster!
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 12:10:01 GMT -5
DM, it came slowly when I ask her to travel, she couldn't then I asked her to go sky diving with me and she wouldn't then later I asked her if she wanted to go racing cars with me she would not... with her it's all about staying at home, watching movies and sex..
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on Jan 13, 2011 12:12:47 GMT -5
Well.....was the sex good?
Seriously though, then it would be pretty easy to tell her that you are a more adventurous type of person and that you want a partner who is too. I would think that she would understand.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 13, 2011 12:14:41 GMT -5
Well.....was the sex good? Seriously though, then it would be pretty easy to tell her that you are a more adventurous type of person and that you want a partner who is too. I would think that she would understand. Absolutely. You can explain to her that you understand that she's not into the same things you are, and while that's understandable, you need to be with someone you can share experiences with.
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Dallas
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Post by Dallas on Jan 13, 2011 12:16:22 GMT -5
True Dm....
J.Lo... maybe.... ok, running away..lol
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 13, 2011 12:20:41 GMT -5
Dallas: You can be tactful when nipping the relationship in the bud. Just tell her you have a lot on your plate and don't feel you can dedicate the time right now to any long-term relationships, but you're glad you had the opportunity to get to know her. She might feel a bit hurt at first, but it's better than just dumping her or telling her she's not for you.
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Post by jennml on Jan 13, 2011 12:30:58 GMT -5
True Dm.... J.Lo... maybe.... ok, running away..lol <throws shoe at Dallas' fleeing form> Anyway...I agree with DM and The J. You already have a solid reason why you don't want to continue the relationship. Just be careful not to fall for the whole "oh, I can change" line. Unless you really want to give her a chance to be more adventurous. Most likely she'll try for a bit then go right back to how she already is.
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rovo
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Post by rovo on Jan 13, 2011 12:45:24 GMT -5
Just tell her she is too boring for you but since the sex was Ok you would like to call her on occasion for a quickie.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 13, 2011 13:18:02 GMT -5
Nothing like a 'booty' call, where the expectations are clear.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 13, 2011 13:34:13 GMT -5
Just be careful in how you do it...there are some crazies out there...wouldn't want her boiling your bunny
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 13, 2011 13:46:53 GMT -5
I there a love triangle between QQ and Jenn and "others" Say what? (Hey, where's that bug-eyed smiley?)
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Jan 13, 2011 14:19:49 GMT -5
I there a love triangle between QQ and Jenn and "others" Say what? (Hey, where's that bug-eyed smiley?)
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 13, 2011 14:22:35 GMT -5
Say what? (Hey, where's that bug-eyed smiley?) Yeah, not really the kind of bug-eyes I'm looking for - those are "look at those bazongas" bug-eyes. I'm looking for the "what the what" bug-eyes from the old board.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 13, 2011 14:26:03 GMT -5
Yeah, not really the kind of bug-eyes I'm looking for - those are "look at those bazongas" bug-eyes. I'm looking for the "what the what" bug-eyes from the old board. How about
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 13, 2011 14:53:22 GMT -5
Yeah, not really the kind of bug-eyes I'm looking for - those are "look at those bazongas" bug-eyes. I'm looking for the "what the what" bug-eyes from the old board. How about That face disturbs me and doesn't really have the same effect. I really liked that old face.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 13, 2011 14:54:20 GMT -5
Put it on the wish list thread and moon'll bring it over.
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