"not quite adult"

[Deleted]

I graduated highschool at 17 and moved out. Shoulda gone to university but oh well. Went back for a few months at 20 or so. My parents were generous financially but I always worked.

ETA - ended up working my way through both college and university. (I'm Canadian, there is a differance)

[Deleted]

what is the difference?

[illinicheme]

I moved out for the majority of the time at age 18, when I went to college. I came home for the first couple of summers, but spent the last couple of summers living a few hours away for internships. But my parents' house was still my "permanent" address.

I moved out for good when I went to grad school at age 22.

[Cookies Galore]

Jan 12, 2011 11:05:13 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

what is the difference?

I believe it's because universities are the ones handing out degree programs (bachelors, masters, doctoral) and colleges are diploma schools (like community colleges)? I looked into going to school in Canada when I was in high school.

[Poppet]

Dh and married young and move out at ages 19 and 20.
Worked at piddling jobs for a year before he enlisted in the A.F.

We've been clear to our boys that they have until age 22 to figure out what direction they want to go and they had/have several options but the main choices being the Jr college/ trade school route or the military route.
Age twenty-two is the age deadline we discussed and agreed upon as a family, by then you better have a plan and be actively working it.

One enlisted in the A.F. at 18
The other is still here, but has plans to enlist as well when he graduates h.s.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I lived at home while I went to college, so my housing was paid - I only had tuition. I graduated from college at 21, turned 22 a couple months later and moved to Boston a couple months after that.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

I could not get my vote to submit... I was out at 18 and away at college.

[teen persuasion]

The last time my parents gave me money was when I started college, maybe $1k? I had a scholarship for tuition, and took student loans for R&B, so that was for books, etc. After that, I paid for things w/ my part-time job.

I went back home for the summer between freshman and sophomore year, but at the end of sophomore year DH (DBF then) and I got an apartment. We were 20. We'd crunched the numbers and realized it was cheaper to pay for an apartment together and buy food for 12 months of the year, than to pay for R&B for 8 months. I also learned how easy it was to find jobs on campus. I was a math tutor, tested incoming students during orientation, had a grant to work on a database program, put out a newsletter for a writers' group, worked the desk in the dorms, ...

ETA : I forgot - I stopped taking loans out when we moved out. The jobs on campus were enough to live on. I could kick myself for taking the loans out the first 2 years.

[Deleted]

I count myself as moving out at 18. A week after high school graduation, I left the state for a summer job. Returned long enough to gather my stuff, then moved into the dorm. Finals week my first semester, there was a fire in the apartment next door to my mom. She had to move into a one bedroom place. My bedroom stuff was packed up and put into my grandparents' attic and my furniture was disposed of (some given to family members, other stuff (like a desk and a dresser) moved with my mother and was used for other functions. I rarely went to see my mother for more than a few days at a time during my breaks. Lived in the dorms for three years (put my stuff in a storage unit during the summer; when I went out of state to work), shared apartments with roommates for a couple years, then got my own place.

[souldoubt]

I lived at home while going to college and working full time. Moved out right before turning 24 during my last semester. At that time I was working 2 jobs 1 of which was during tax season and between the two I was working about 60 hours a week while taking my last 2 classes. I was allowed to live at home without paying rent but if I wasn't working and going to school then I would have eventually been kicked out and I had no problem knowing that.

I don't think there's a set age someone has to be out of the house but it comes down to parenting. If you pamper your kids too much and make excuses for them then sometimes the drive just isn't there and they don't have a goal. One of my friends had parents who gave him quite a bit and made excuses for him for years. He's able to stand on his own two feet now but it took him longer then the rest of us. On other hand I've got friends who have been working full time since they finished high school and have supported themselves since then because they knew mom and dad weren't going to bail them out.

[Deleted]

I moved out at 20 I think. I already had a baby and was married. Mom still wasn't trying to make me leave.

When the ex and I split when I was about 24, Mom kept trying to get me to come back home. I was grateful I could go home if I absolutely had to, but I knew I had to make my own way so I toughed it out.

She still hasn't completely gotten rid of my brother, who is in his 30's now.

My daughter moved out her last semester of high school because when she turned 18 she thought she was *grown* and could do whatever she wanted to in my house. I gave her the choice to either follow the house rules or find somewhere else to live. She chose to live somewhere else. It broke my heart, but I had to live with it.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

<<< I gave her the choice to either follow the house rules or find somewhere else to live. >>>

...before people flame you, let me say, "good for you"

[justwhoever]

I can't vote in the poll because I moved out when I was 16.

I might have had a mouth on me at that age and my mother was not able to handle it. So she thought that if she showed tough love I would change. LOL I have never moved back. I'll be 33 this year.

It's been hard. There were many days I didn't know what I was going to do for food. Or even a bath/shower. But I would NOT change my past. It's made me who I am today. I may not be rich or totally smart when it comes to money and savings and all that but I KNOW I can do fine alone.

[ihearyou2]

I moved out at 26 when I got married, I was just planning on moving out regardless. It is interesting we're reverting back to WWI times where people lived on home on average until they're late 20's I'm guessing even after marriage they couldn't afford an apartment and lived with the parents until they got some financial footing. This is happening more often nowadays especially with the recession, going both directions with parents moving in with kids and kids staying at home until tehy feel financially stable.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I was already couch surfing more often than I slept at home before I was 18. On my 18th birthday my mom made it official though, I was no longer welcome to sleep for free under her roof. She would rent me the stand alone apartment down in the orchard at a decent price, but I was on my own for food and utilities. That was the deal. I wasn't working or going to school at the time though, and she was always pretty clear that we had to be doing one or the other if we wanted to keep our free digs.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

<<< This is happening more often nowadays especially with the recession, going both directions with parents moving in with kids and kids staying at home until tehy feel financially stable. >>>

...yes, interesting... more so, because, I believe, from an anthropological stance, this was more due to "payback" rather than "pay forward" reasons... that, or for "safety in numbers" reasons... maybe some of the resident Indiana Joneses will weigh in?

[Deleted]

<<< This is happening more often nowadays especially with the recession, going both directions with parents moving in with kids and kids staying at home until tehy feel financially stable. >>>

It does seem like this is the trend. Baby boomers seem to have this obsession with independence as the end all be all. I think that attitude is starting to give a little as people see that it can be financially rewarding, and probably rewarding on other levels, to live in family units for longer periods of time.

[sheilaincali]

I think that the kids that are in jr high and high school today are being taught some horrible habits. My son is in 7th grade and he came home complaining a while ago about an assignment. They had to research a country they were assigned and find out the GDP, literacy rate, population etc. And then research some traditions, sports, etc associated with that country. The teacher gave them a large piece of paper to put their findings on and they had a 4 day weekend in which to finish the assignment.
DS did the research in class and the at home portion took about 30 minutes. Out of the 30 kids in his class only 17 had the assignment ready to turn in, 3 were absent, 2 had no excuses, and the other 8 all had notes from their parents asking for an extension.
The Boy was pissed- he told the teacher that the 3 kids out sick had an excuse but the other 10 better have point docked for turning their work in late. He wanted the teacher to announce that each late assignment would be docked X number of points per day late but she told him that it all had to be done on a case by case basis.
BS- when I was in school I never once had the audacity to ask my parents to write me an excuse for not being able to finish a 30 minute assignment over the course of a 4 day week.

[so1970]

i left home early [actually half way through senior year] then after graduation i worked out of state got a job on a boat worked my way to where i am today. when my youngest son graduated i told him he could live at home rent free for 4 years if he saved half of his pay check for the duration of his time at home. he also works on a boat and is only home 2 weeks out of 6 so paying rent on an appartment would be a waste of money. by the end of 4 years he should be able to pay cash to build his house.

[shanendoah]

The "joke" in my family was that my step-father couldn't decide if he would pack my bags as a birthday gift or a graduation gift. I turned 18 half way through my senior year of high school. I did stay at my mom and step-father's until I started college. It was the state school in the same city, but living at home wasn't an option. The cheapest meal plan required for dorm living charged $10/meal, and didn't cover enough meals to eat on weekends. Living in Reno, I could eat at the casinos cheaper, so we decided the dorms were too expensive.
I moved into a studio apartment across from campus that shared a kitchen with three others. I moved out of there 6 months later when I had to call the cops on one of my kitchen mates for beating his girlfriend. I then moved in to a more expensive set of apartments specifically meant for students. They were right across from the dorms and 4 people (each with their own room) shared the apartment. I was there for three semesters, when I then got an apartment with friends.
My mother paid for my groceries for the first two years of college, but when I moved in with friends, that stopped.
Also for the first two years, I would occassionally go home to do laundry and use the computer. (For the first year, I had a word processor, but not a PC.)
So, moved out at 18, stopped getting any financial support at 20. Unless you count the wedding. I got married at 27 and we bought new construction 2 months before hand. My father paid for the wedding location, around $500, and my mom loaned us the money to upgrade our carpets, also around $500, and then forgave the loan as a wedding gift.

[Tiny]

I'm the youngest of my sibs (with quite a bit of spead in ages) and I had older parents. My dad died when i was 11. My mom was 63 when I turned 18. My older sibs got married/moved out well before it was time for me to do so. I went to the local JR college and then got a good full time job - I was 21 my mom was 66. I was going to move out - but then I realized I'd probably be spending my weekends at home anyway - Sunday dinner and coming around to help out with the household chores (my sibs did this) AND have to give my mom money (to keep the house) so I just stayed at home and paid rent (and learned all sorts of useful "fix it" skills from maintaining and old house) until she died when I was 30.
I thought it was kinda funny when someone mistook my mom for my grandma! I never had a grandma (the last one died when I was 4 - I remember she had a cat I wasn't suppose to try to touch and I remember some events from her funeral). Other Granddads/grandma died years before I was born.
Yes, I lived at home but I wasn't exactly "mooching" off my mom... my mom gave me no money, paid for none of my expenses and I gave her money every month. My mom did cook - so I didn't have to cook and if I hauled my laundry to the basement - she'd wash it and then I'd have to haul it all back up. I was also in charge of mowing and shoveling snow and painting walls and some weekly housekeeping. It wasn't a "free ride" at all.

I admit I find it weird when parents continue to give their kids an Allowance well into their late 20's to subsidize their income or to replace the income they don't have.

[Deleted]

Jan 12, 2011 11:20:02 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Jan 12, 2011 11:05:13 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

what is the difference?

I believe it's because universities are the ones handing out degree programs (bachelors, masters, doctoral) and colleges are diploma schools (like community colleges)? I looked into going to school in Canada when I was in high school.

Yes, that's it.

[vonnie6200]

17

[telephus44]

Jan 12, 2011 10:14:54 GMT -5 @daennera said:

A) they finished but are absolutely worthless, like a degree in CLASSICS!!!

I have a double major in Latin and Greek (Ancient). I have never gone more than 4 months without a job and I currently make $48K (not great, but close to top of the pay range for my industry, and I'm a CSR).

I stayed home for one year after graduating college, and then moved out.

I don't have a problem so much with people getting married later, having kids later, even moving out of the house later - what I do have a problem with is people maturing later. If you're still living at home but covering all of your bills - not letting mommy and daddy cover your cell phone while you blow all your money out partying and playing video games - I don't have a problem with that. Times are different than they were in the good old 50's. I stayed at home for a year rent free while I saved up enough for first, last, and security (and I got 2 raises, so I finally made enough to support myself, including the car, car insurance and student loans). I don't mind giving kids extra parenting - personal finance is so different now than it was in the 50's. As long as the kid is actually being parented and is receptive to the messages and learning things - not just getting a handout.

I have family members in their late 20's that still live at home, have their parents pay their cell phones, car insurance, give them gas money - and of course, they contribute nothing to household expenses, all their small paychecks go for is clothes and partying. They have no incentive to get a better paying job and move out. That kind of extended doesn't do anyone any favors.

[TrixAre4Kids]

Pink Cashmere: <<<I gave her the choice to either follow the house rules or find somewhere else to live.>>>
That was the choice my parents gave me and I thought it completely fair.

Archie: <<<Baby boomers seem to have this obsession with independence as the end all be all.>>>
How true. I am 55, part of the 'generation jones' subset of the boomers, and darn proud I never needed a loan from my folks once I was on my own.

My mom charged me a token $100/month room & board after high school. I say token because they paid for my college classes and I was driving one of their cars, which they paid gas & insurance on. I was working part time & studying part time. In 1977 I went to work full time. The folks were ready to retire and sell their house, so I had to move out. I was 21. My dad CO-SIGNED a loan on my first home.

I was lucky. My folks provided the support I needed til I found my feet. I have several friends in their late 30's/early 40's, have been able to watch them grow, struggle with their first home purchases in this HCOL area and skimp to make the mortgage payments. I also shake my head at my sisters stepson, a jobless, shiftless 40 year old man who still relies upon his daddy to pay his rent every month.

[kansasflower]

Moved out at 17 during senior year of high school. Bounced around between friends' homes with my car as my "home base"; i.e. it carried all my belongings. Lived in college dorms for first half of college. Had to pay extra at Christmas and spring break to stay in the dorms. Worked full time during the summers while staying with extended family members. Had my own apartment for awhile, then got married and we got an apartment together. Moving out early was more a family issue rather than a generational one. I am 30 and my younger brothers moved out at 16, 16, and 17. I struggled with a bit of bitterness toward classmates in college who received support from their parents (I went on scholarship and a few loans), but now believe things worked out for the best. My relationships with family are now better than ever and I feel that the few years of separation and independence were beneficial.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I lived at home until I was 24 and moved away to attend law school.

BUT ... I paid room and board/rent as soon as I graduated from high school, and I worked full-time and paid for college myself (while paying to live at home.) And at $450 per month, it wasn't just a "token" payment, either. And, of course, I also paid for my own car, insurance, registration, etc.

[Nazgul Girl]

I liked what someone posted on the WM board about the three "E's"; their children either had to be employed, enlisted, or enrolled by ages 18 to 19 or so.

[wvugurl26]

Out for good, I'd say 22. After I graduated from undergrad I moved in with boyfriend at the time. Job search wasn't turning up any decent career type jobs so I got a masters in accounting. Finished that at 24 and took a job with a public accounting firm. Moved into my own apartment then. Bounced back home for a few weeks last June. Lease ended at end of May, new job started 5 hours away in late June.
I'm glad my family helped out when they could and provided a place to crash when I needed it. I've always been grateful for their help and try to help them when I can.
If no one's being taken advantage of then I think its fine. If Junior's playing video games all day and doesn't have a job, that's a different situation.

[stantonjane]

I moved out at 18, several months after finishing highschool. I had started a factory job right after highschool and after a few months working there took a opportunity to move out of state with an aunt. We lived in N. Carolina for about 5-6 months, were I looked for a job, then we decided to move out to Calif. Ironically, I got a job offer the day we left. It took me 6 months to find a job in Calif, mainly becus when they told me the local factory was hiring, I said, 'No, I want to work in an office.' Several months of watching a neighbors kids for room and board on their couch, and that factory job didn't look so bad after all. The several months unemloyed in N. Carolina and the first several months in Calif. unemployed were the only extended times I haven't worked and spported myself since highschool. There were no other options, if I lost a job I didn't rest till I found another one, being your own sole support is a big motivator. I think after that first rough start, the longest time between jobs for me was 5 weeks, and that was really tough for me to get through.

On the other hand, I have my 19 year old daugher who is doing us the favor of going to community college, since she'd rather be dedicating herself to her songwriting. She works 'on-call' for Macy's, and if she doesn't get shifts for 2 weeks it doesn't bother her. We don't charge her any money, and try to not judge her at this time, but I tell ya, when she gets done with her AA this summer, we are gonna draw a few lines about where else she's going and how we are not continuing giving a free ride to her.