Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

Hi Iggy

[roygrip]

Sept 26, 2011 16:48:35 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Hi RG. My OP above yours was me saying almost 48 hours sober, but I second guessed myself (my post, not the not drinking, LOL) so I removed it. Still testing the waters here.

Iggy, just get your feet wet, move at your pace, one day, one minute at a time .

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Iggy, congrats on the first 48. I know exactly how tough they can be.

[roygrip]

Sept 27, 2011 17:53:54 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Thank you, MDW. Tonight will be the 3rd night without.
Been keeping busy. Treadmill, office, texting my 2 wonderful nieces,
and chatting here for support.

Congrats IGGY! Did you try "InTheRooms.com"

[roygrip]

Sept 27, 2011 18:09:23 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Congrats Iggy -- just take it one day at a time. All you have to do is get through today. (I find this helpful in all walks of life. I have a tendency to look so for ahead that I forget about today....)

Are you checking out any meetings? I found a 24 hour hotline when I needed one back in the day. And once I got there they had a small book with all of the area meetings listed. The coffee isn't too great, but sometimes there are cookies!

Sometimes there's Cake!

[Deleted]

I have a tendency to look so for ahead that I forget about today....)

Daphne.. I appreciate ^this^ comment you made. You have no idea how timely it is..

Iggy.. We are so proud of you.

[Deleted]

[roygrip]

Sept 27, 2011 18:30:54 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Cake? I like cake!!

I actually because pretty good at figuring out where the best food was back when I first started attending meetings. Those first few months I was very well fed!

Now the meeting I like best has the worst food. But since it's Friday nights, it's probably best that I don't fill up on sweets before bed. (Stupid practicality....)

LOL, Daphne! I go to a really big fri niter. There's usually a table full of "stuff" at this one. It's hard not to eat as it's a speaker meeting (good speakers !)

[roygrip]

Sept 27, 2011 18:31:36 GMT -5 @heart2heart said:

I have a tendency to look so for ahead that I forget about today....)

Daphne.. I appreciate ^this^ comment you made. You have no idea how timely it is..

Iggy.. We are so proud of you.

One of the things we're taught is to live in the moment. We have no control over the future, or the past, it's easier than worying

[roygrip]

Sept 27, 2011 23:53:36 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Thank you, guys! I haven't yet tried the website mentioned above, but will do so when I log out of here.

And, lol re: bad coffee, but there's cake! ;D

During a convo between DH and I last night, he asked if I need alcohol to get me through the day. I told him, no, but to get through the night sometimes... I don't think he gets it....

ETA: 3rd night in a row sober.

I get it. The need to calm the mind, or just "get to sleep" (I had the demons I needed to calm) So by self medicating (I drank enough and did enough drugs I Knocked myself out!) ;D

[roygrip]

Sept 28, 2011 6:03:55 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

Did anyone see Kim Delaney escorted off stage? She apparently has a history of alcoholism .
I am glad to see the rise of shows like Intervention and Dr. Drew. I think it really helps to shed light on the battle people are waging and allow people to have compassion for the suffering and pain that addiction inflicts. I think we can now see the human side much better whereas in the past one would just walk past thinking they were just drunks or whatever.

LOL Snerdley, I call myself a drunk all the time (it's a reminder of where I came) I understand. I work in the film biz, in Hollywood, for the last 30 yrs. It was very acceptable thru the '80s into the early '90s to do drugs/alcohol. As people really started to get hurt, die, and science figured out that it wasn't all so great for us, the attitudes changed. Many of us actors/technicians alike got sober. I will always be and addict, an alcoholic, a drunk, (just like Kim) just for today I chose not to drink or use, today I'm in recovery. Yes shows like "Intervention", Dr. Drew, and my friends show "Addicted" show the human side to everyday people maybe not affected by the disease.
None of us wanted to be and addict or drunk, heck my parents were college proffs/proffessionals who occasionally had a glass of wine, just as baffled as I was. Was it the '60s and '70's I grew up in? Was it the freewheeling film biz I chose? Or was it my genetic makeup? I don't know why I became an alcoholic. But thank God for me finding a way out and the millions of others too. Thank God for shows like these that give a bit more understanding to the disease and maybe an addict sees it and makes that choice to change as I did. It's not easy, but the b enefits are incredible!

[roygrip]

Sept 28, 2011 6:57:18 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

I think it is the disease of our times. And, i am glad to see we are addressing it head on versus sweeping it under the rug as it used to be.

Oh God yes! Because it's one of those things that doesn't have to be.
In my own journey I remember how stuck, worthless, angry, and beaten I felt. Today, I'm happy, free, productive and worthwhile. So to help anyone from that prison of addiction is priceless. Thanks

[roygrip]

Message deleted by roygrip.

[roygrip]

Sept 28, 2011 10:07:15 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG, thank you for understanding. I have always "lived in my mind" and have OCD tendencies, so alcohol has always been my drug of choice since I was a teenager...I just did the math... 29 years. It helps turn off the "stuff", ie, my need to think, organize, sell, market, etc....

Wiggy IGGY! (LOL) I understand that, I had the need to "turn off" the racing mind, constantly thinking, planning etc.

[Jake 48]

Iggy

[kimber45]

RG, thank you for understanding. I have always "lived in my mind" and have OCD tendencies, so alcohol has always been my drug of choice since I was a teenager...I just did the math... 29 years. It helps turn off the "stuff", ie, my need to think, organize, sell, market, etc....


Iggy, you could be my DH. He is the same way. He too is OCD, struggles with depression and has been drinking since an early teen and is now 44. It is his way of coping, mainly with his job. Yesterday, he took the first step in going to a counselor.

[kimber45]

Thanks Iggy He is the type of person the is a major worrier, perfectionist, nothing in moderation everything to excess. I think we balance each other out though because I am completely opposite.

Luck to you as well. One day at a time, right?!

[roygrip]

Sept 29, 2011 9:14:29 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

RG, thank you for understanding. I have always "lived in my mind" and have OCD tendencies, so alcohol has always been my drug of choice since I was a teenager...I just did the math... 29 years. It helps turn off the "stuff", ie, my need to think, organize, sell, market, etc....


Iggy, you could be my DH. He is the same way. He too is OCD, struggles with depression and has been drinking since an early teen and is now 44. It is his way of coping, mainly with his job. Yesterday, he took the first step in going to a counselor.

Kimber I do understand, many of us "alcoholic/addicts" like myself share that tendency, we turned off our racing mind by self medication, ie. "subduing it" into quiet with drugs or alcohol.

[roygrip]

Sept 29, 2011 10:22:42 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

Thanks Iggy He is the type of person the is a major worrier, perfectionist, nothing in moderation everything to excess. I think we balance each other out though because I am completely opposite.

Luck to you as well. One day at a time, right?!

LOL, I like it, the yin and yang. Wish my wife and I were like that, instead we're both Leo's and all or nothing, Damn the torpedo's full speed ahead and call the posse while your at it

[roygrip]

Key to Serenity

The Key that Unlocks the Door to Happiness By BuddyT

It seems almost too simple to be true, but acceptance -- accepting things exactly as they are -- can be the key that unlocks the door to happiness.

It may be one of the most referenced passages in recovery literature. It's from Page 449 of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!
The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.

[Deleted]

Love it!

[roygrip]

Sept 29, 2011 13:34:12 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

I didn't post the above to be negative. I posted it so if we see ourselves in it, perhaps it will help us to remove at least one thing from our schedules, and to say "No".

When lamenting to a friend a few months ago about my stress from volunteering, and how I knew it was my choice, her response: "When are you going to volunteer for yourself?" It hit home in a very major way.

VERY TRUE WORDS FROM YOUR FRIEND! In my own life, I found myself spread to thin..... For what? If I can't take care of myself, how can I take care of others. I make time for myself, my family, and quiet now. Funny, no one misses me, LOL It's a thought

[roygrip]

Sept 29, 2011 14:45:45 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG, thank you. That particular friend has been in counseling and to al-anon meetings for years. She is one smart cookie.

Ha! Ha! See? She hears what I hear..... Coming from the other side! Good for her!
One of the things asked of us is..... What are you willing to change about youirself? The correct answer is EVERYTHING!
Now this doesn't mean we do...... It just means willingness, and the realization, that if we do have a problem with addictions, then our best thinking got us to this point, so maybe we better be teachable.

Iggy, none of this that I talk to you about is directed at you..... It is information I put forth, you please use what you need and discard the rest. It's things I post from my process. I post it with understanding, caring and friendship, in the hopes you relate to something. Peace.

[roygrip]

Sept 29, 2011 15:11:42 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG, no worries. I am okay. But, thank you for saying that.

[roygrip]

A.A. Thoughts For The Day

Booby Traps
"We must avoid quick-tempered criticism
and furious, power-driven argument.
The same goes for sulking and silent scorn.
These are emotional booby traps baited with pride
and vengefulness.
Our first job is to sidestep the traps.
When we are tempted by the bait,
we should train ourselves to step back and think.
For we can neither think nor act to good purpose
until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic."
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 91

Thought to Consider . . .
Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.

Just For Today!
Greatest Possession
From: "The Family Afterward"
This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem. We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places. Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.
2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 124

Daily Reflections
EXACTLY ALIKE
Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright
spot of our lives.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

A man came to the meeting drunk, interrupted the speakers, stood
up and took his shirt off, staggered loudly back and forth for
coffee, demanded to talk, and eventually called the group's
secretary an unquotable name and walked out. I was glad he was
there--once again I saw what I still could be. I don't have to
be drunk to want to be the exception and the center of attention.
I have often felt abused and responded abusively when I was
simply being treated as a garden variety human being. The more
the man tried to insist he was different, the more I realized
that he and I were exactly alike.

As Bill Sees It
Troubles of Our Own Making
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!

Big Book Quote
"If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to
let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and
will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct
continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not
theorizing. These are facts out of our experience."

Twenty Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
Having got this far, shall we pause and ask ourselves some
searching questions? We need to check up on ourselves periodically.
Just how good an A.A. am I? Am I attending meetings regularly? Am
I doing my share to carry the load? When there is something to be
done, do I volunteer? Do I speak at meetings when asked, no matter
how nervous I am? Do I accept each opportunity to do twelfth-step
work as a challenge? Do I give freely of my time and money? Am I
trying to spread A.A. wherever I go? Is my daily life a
demonstration of A.A. principles? Am I a good A.A.?

Meditation for the Day
How do I get strength to be effective and to accept responsibility?
By asking the Higher Power for the strength I need each day. It
has been proved in countless lives that for every day I live,
the necessary power shall be given me. I must face each challenge
that comes' to me during the day, sure that God will give me the
strength to face it. For every task that is given me, there is
also given me all the power necessary for the performance of that
task. I do not need to hold back.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may accept every task as a challenge. I know I cannot
wholly fail if God is with me.

[Jake 48]

Wiggy and Kimber's DH, when I quit it was my divorce, ex said my drinking was the problem, counseling and AA got me to look at myself. I stopped worrying about making everything perfect and making myself better. Turns out ex was screwing around and used my drinking as her excuse to justify it. Fast forward, the damage was done, we went through w/ the divorce. I stayed sober partly on principle that I was a better person and had to prove it and partly because I realized life got easier being sober. No hangover, money in my pocket, more patience and more forgiving of others faults and shortcomings. Ex and I are friends now, actively involved in our kids lives, get along with each others spouses. I even get invited to ex's family functions

[Jake 48]

Wiggy

[roygrip]

Sept 30, 2011 18:51:18 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

My old TGIF routine was leave right at 5 and go get bombed.

My new TGIF routine is wrapping up things here @ the office,
go home and work out. 6 days, only 1/2 beer.

[roygrip]

Sept 30, 2011 19:51:55 GMT -5 Jake 48 said:

Wiggy and Kimber's DH, when I quit it was my divorce, ex said my drinking was the problem, counseling and AA got me to look at myself. I stopped worrying about making everything perfect and making myself better. Turns out ex was screwing around and used my drinking as her excuse to justify it. Fast forward, the damage was done, we went through w/ the divorce. I stayed sober partly on principle that I was a better person and had to prove it and partly because I realized life got easier being sober. No hangover, money in my pocket, more patience and more forgiving of others faults and shortcomings. Ex and I are friends now, actively involved in our kids lives, get along with each others spouses. I even get invited to ex's family functions

Very nice Jake! In my own life, both my wife and I partied hardy. When we both got sober, our quality of life rose drastically. The way we treat each other, the respect we have for each other and the way our grown daughter looks at us! I commend you!

[roygrip]

A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Flimsy Reed
"We sought escape with all the desperation
of drowning men.
What seemed at first a flimsy reed,
has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God.
A new life has been given us or, if you prefer,
a 'design for living' that really works."

Thought to Consider . . .
The task ahead of us is never as great
as the Power behind us.

Just For Today!
Chronic Slipper
From: "Safe Haven"
In Alcoholics Anonymous, I knew I had found a protective haven. But during the ensuing 4-1/2 years I fell into the category known, in AA parlance, as a "chronic slipper." I might get a good six months of sobriety under my belt, but then I would get a bottle to celebrate.

I did all the things that were suggested for me not to do. Within my first year around AA, I made some major decisions, like getting married, renting the most expensive apartment I could find, not using my sponsor, avoiding the steps, hanging around old haunts with my old drinking pals, and talking more than listening during meetings. In short, I wasn't responding to the miracle of AA. My disease progressed and I became a regular patient in detox hospitals, intensive care units, and treatment centers. Permanent insanity was drawing near, and the gates of death were in view.

Daily Reflections
LEST WE BECOME COMPLACENT
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe.

When I am in pain it is easy to stay close to the friends I have found in the program. Relief from that pain is provided in the solutions contained in A.A.'s Twelve Steps. But when I am feeling good and things are going well, I can become complacent. To put it simply, I become lazy and turn into the problem instead of the solution. I need to get into action, to take stock: where am I and where am I going? A daily inventory will tell me what I must change to regain spiritual balance. Admitting what I find within myself, to God and to another human being, keeps me honest and humble.

As Bill Sees It
Going It Alone
Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God when it was plain that they were mistaken? Lacking both practice and humility, they had deluded themselves and so were able to justify the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told them.
People of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater than ourselves.

Big Book Quote
" I had always believed in a Power greater that myself. I had often
pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for
that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe
originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes no where."


Twenty Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
A.A. will lose some of its effectiveness if I do not do my share. Where am I failing? Are there some things I do not feel like doing? Am I held back by self-consciousness or fear? Self-consciousness is a form of pride. It is a fear that something may happen to you. What happens to you is not very important. The impression you make on others does not depend so much on the kind of a job you do as on your sincerity and honesty of purpose. Am I holding back because I am afraid of not making a good impression?

Meditation for the Day
Look to God for the true power that will make you effective. See no other wholly dependable supply of strength. That is the secret of a truly effective life. And you, in your turn, will be used to help many others find effectiveness. Whatever spiritual help you need, whatever spiritual help you desire for others, look to God. Seek that God's will be done in your life and seek that your will conforms to His. Failures come from depending too much on your own strength.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may feel that nothing good is too much for me if I look to God for help. I pray that I may be effective through His guidance.