Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery

[roygrip]

"Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue & pen!"

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about “justifiable” anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with selfrighteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.

Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances— jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride— did the same thing.

A spot-check inventory taken in the midst of such disturbances can be of very great help in quieting stormy emotions. Today's spot check finds its chief application to
situations which arise in each day's march. The consideration of long-standing difficulties had better be postponed, when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that purpose. The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes.

In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest analysis of what is involved, a willingness to admit when the fault is ours, and an equal willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. We need not be discouraged when we fall into the error of our old ways, for these disciplines are not easy. We shall look for progress, not for perfection.

Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of selfrestraint has become automatic.

;D

[roygrip]

Hello,
First off I'd like to say I'd rather remain anonymous. I am -- years old and have been raised with an alcoholic mother which I am still living in, Just -- months ago my best friend died of the nasty disease of addiction! I am active in Al-non and ACA (adult children of alcoholics). When i was 17-ish i wrote a poem about alcoholism†in my standpoint of what the alcoholic is thinking, †I†wanted to share it as i just recovered it!

"The cycle of an alcoholic"

That first swig, it tastes so good,
To have another, maybe†you†shouldn't or maybe†you should,
It relieves†you of all†reality and bad feelings inside,
All other resorts†you have tried.
The best thing to do is run and get another beer,
Give a little change to the atmosphere.
The next thing you know,†your lying in the street,
Everything becomes blurry,†you can barely see†your own feet.
you†feel sick to†your stomach,†your body is in pain,
As†you have been out all night, sleeping in the rain.
Yet with all the money that†you earn,
another beer†you must yearn.
you†start in the morning, and keep drinking through the nights,
with the people†you love,†you cause arguments and fights.
It becomes a neverending cycle, you dont know what to do,
Your mind wants to stop, yet your body wont let you.
Then one day it gets to your head,
Your not sure if tomorrow, youll be alive or dead.
So that day you stop drinking and help you seek.
Then a month later comes another stressful week.
(back to beginning)

Thanks for letting me share

~Me, A struggling child of an alcoholic

[roygrip]

FOR OTHER ALTERNATIVES THAN 12 STEP

JUST FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS! As I said, I tried ALOT! AA/NA worked for me, PEACE!

AA Alternative - Non 12 Step Alcoholism Help










Alcoholic Recovery Treatment Alternative



One approach does not fit all!



Reframing Faulty Beliefs &

An Alternative Look At The Term "Alcoholism"


AA Alternative

Alcoholic Recovery ~ Alcoholism Help



1. Alcohol or drugs help me escape problems.


False. They numb your senses and mind. They do not address the originating problem or stress but rather intensify and compound it. A great example of this is if your car’s engine light came on. Would you rewire the circuit so that the light did not come on, or would you take your car to a mechanic to have your engine checked? Obviously, rewiring the circuit would do nothing to solve the problem. Likewise, alcohol and drugs only numb you to the real issues that need to be addressed and looked at. What happens is that your belief (thinking) that escape is possible through the use of drugs or alcohol actually pushes you farther away from life and the issues that are important. The farther you isolate yourself from life and others, the more you come to believe and depend on alcohol or drugs as problem solvers. They are all you have. This makes sense to you since you probably have pushed most of those who would support you away. To stop this isolating behavior you need to start addressing the real issues.

2. Alcohol and drugs relax me.

False, to be truly relaxed you need to address what is causing you the stress. Alcohol and drugs only deaden the senses; they do not remove the stress. Physically, they do nothing to replenish the body, but rather strip it of more vital nutrients. Sleep is also hindered. If you fall asleep by using the "pass-out" method, you actually aren’t getting deep, quality sleep.

3. It takes willpower to quit and I don’t know if I have enough.

False, there is no willpower involved here, simply a choice. Willpower is only needed if we think we are "giving something up". There is nothing to give up when one decides to quit using alcohol or drugs, for these things do nothing for you to begin with.

What? Yes, you read it right. It is like buying a new pair of shoes. You exchange the old beat up pair for a new pair. Likewise, you replace drinking or drugging with a new coping strategy like running or reading. In actuality, what you are deciding to do is choose an alternative way to handle life. This doesn’t take willpower (although it may take some practice). All it takes is an active choice.

Alcohol and drugs do not demand you use them. You use them because you believe you can’t handle life without them. The choice to use or not use alcohol or drugs is always present. Anyone who has struggled with an addiction to alcohol or drugs can verify they have, at times, refrained from use. It’s a choice to use or not use. Don’t complicate it.

A simple illustration would go as follows: What if I said I have milk and orange juice in the fridge, and I would like the milk. Would it take willpower for you to not grab the orange juice? Of course not. It would just be a simple choice. View alcohol and drugs the same way. You can use or not use; it’s your choice. Willpower has nothing to do with it.

4. I drink to be sociable.

False, alcohol and drug use are done out of fear. They do not make someone more sociable, but rather remove inhibitions and common sense. They give false courage and often with much embarrassment.

5. If I don’t continue using alcohol or drugs, I will be physically sick with withdrawal.

Not necessarily, most people I have encountered experience flu-like symptoms for around three days. They may be a little shaky and disoriented, but it is no worse than the common hangover or flu for most. The major battle is mental. For the hard-core alcohol or drug user I would consult a physician, for your body will be going through a major adjustment. Be smart. If you are at all concerned about the physical symptoms, consult your physician.

6. I enjoy drinking.

False, in reality you believe you cannot enjoy life without alcohol or drugs. For the alcohol users, do you remember your first taste of liquor? Did you say, "Wow, that is the best tasting liquid I have ever had?" Most of those who currently struggle with an addiction wish they weren’t drinking or using drugs while they use. Where is the enjoyment in that?
And the final one: 7. Addiction is a disease.
False, addiction is a choice. You have been misled on the disease thing. I want to focus special attention on this one for it is important. The labels we give people can greatly influence the kind of life that person feels they can lead. If the label we give portrays the wrong message, than growth and change can be hindered. In the case of drug and alcohol treatment people are often labeled with having a disease, being powerless over alcohol or drugs, and forever an alcoholic or drug addict. In my opinion, I feel these labels to be detrimental to growth and negative for the "addict" trying to change. People are more than just their mistakes and poor choices. To completely define a person with a limiting definition of who they are will in return produce poor "recovery" results. To understand the meaning behind the label is important to achieving the change needed. More than this, sometimes the true meaning of a label gets lost. If we never challenge or look at what many are being labeled, we will forever perpetuate the limits this label defines. I’ll give you an example using the common term of "alcoholism".



Webster defines alcoholism as “the habitual drinking of alcoholic liquor to excess, or a diseased condition caused by this.”

At face value this seems to be an accurate description of someone with alcoholism. Ask most people and they would agree with this definition. However, there are some discrepancies and misinformation in our current use of the term alcoholism that need to be acknowledged. Mainly that alcoholism is not a disease, but a belief. Nowhere has it been proven that the disease exists. Read any literature and the results will not confidently state it is a disease. They will only speculate. The following is a quick and realistic look at "alcoholism". Alcoholism is not a disease, find out how many have already realized that alcoholism and addiction is a choice.

First of all, the DSM-IV-TR (used by professionals to diagnose mental disorders) does not diagnose someone with alcoholism, but rather with substance abuse or substance dependence. They define what Webster would call a diseased condition (alcoholism), a substance use disorder. As a substance use disorder, ones alcohol or drug use becomes a maladaptive pattern leading to clinically significant impairment or distress. This impairment or distress becomes dependence or abuse depending on the extent it interferes with ones life, and the degree of tolerance or withdrawal one experiences. In other words, a psychiatrist would not diagnose someone with alcoholism, but rather with substance abuse or substance dependence. Furthermore, a maladaptive pattern is not a disease.

Secondly, looking at the Big Book of AA there is no mention of alcoholism being a physical or biological disease, but rather it is referred to as a spiritual disease or an illness.

From the Big Book on disease:
"Resentment is the 'number one' offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically." Ch5 p.64

From the Big Book on illness:
"If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer." ch4 p.44

The only talk of disease is a spiritual one and in the introduction it explains how people have recovered from this spiritual disease, forever!

From The Big Book on recovery:
"We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem."

Don’t believe me? Look it up. Here is the link:



Big Book Search Engine

I think the Big Book is great if used right, but it does not indicate an insidious, inescapable disease that we often associate with alcoholism.

Third and most importantly, no research has concluded alcoholism as a disease. Of all the studies, literature, and money spent, we are still left with the fact that no one has found the disease of alcoholism. This is troubling for the same industry that has found no proof of a disease, promotes the disease concept.

So what is alcoholism?

In reality it is simply a belief. Jack Trimpey says it best: “Alcoholism and alcoholic are folk expressions. Neither word is a medical term…….I will use the term alcoholic to refer to people who believe they are powerless over their addictions and act accordingly…..They are practicing the philosophy of alcohol-ism……As with any philosophy, alcoholism is comprised of many beliefs and assumptions.” Jack Trimpey, The Small Book, pp5-6, DTP, 1992

Alcoholism carries with it a stigma that says the person afflicted cannot control their use of alcohol, they are powerless over alcohol, they are spiritually lacking and need to surrender their will to a higher power, and that they have a disease for the rest of their life.

It is unfortunate that we have transformed the term "alcoholism" into a limited definition of a disease. For though it is not a disease, the mere fact that people believe it is a disease, makes it harder for them to escape it's clutches. I believe it does a disservice to those who struggle with alcohol or drugs because it promotes powerlessness and dependency. To look at alcoholism as it truly is (a belief) is to understand and take control of our own individual role in overcoming it. Beliefs can be powerful, but so can the truth. Find out how the majority of those who once struggled with alcohol and drugs changed their lives, and refused to acknowledge alcoholism as a disease.


AA Alternative

Alcoholic Recovery ~ Alcoholism Help

[kimber45]

# 1, 2, 4,& 6 sounds like my DH talking. Yesterday was Day 11 for him

[kimber45]

(((Hugs)))) Daph. Hope things get better for you soon.

[chiver78]

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone, and for all who post on this thread

[roygrip]

Oct 14, 2011 8:21:49 GMT -5 kimber45 said:

# 1, 2, 4,& 6 sounds like my DH talking. Yesterday was Day 11 for him

AWESOME KIMBER!!

And yeah I relate to those as well. We are so lucky nowadays that there are several ways through to getting sober. Whatever does the trick and good luck

[roygrip]

Oct 14, 2011 8:27:28 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

This has been a really bad week for me. I really need to go to a meeting tonight....

You know we're here for you Daphne, and you also know what you need to do. You can always PM me too. ((Hugz))

[roygrip]

Oct 14, 2011 9:13:43 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

Thanks Kimber. I'm really hoping it's the stupid rain bringing me down....

At least I don't want to drink (I never really do. My problem was the inability to stop once I started). But AA meetings are pretty good at reminding me to slow down and take it one day at a time. Plus the terrible coffee and the stale cookies -- and all for $1!

I'm actually looking forward to tonight's meeting now. Tx!

LOL, and don't forget the lousy CAKE! ;D

[roygrip]

Bless us all another day in the solution!

[roygrip]

LOL, I had another real life situation yesterday, I'll share. I am an old rockin' roller. Led Zepplin were like God's to me. I play guitar (forever). Soooooo. I go to concerts! (SOBER Yesterday was a big one Jason Bonham's (Zep's dead drummer's son's) showcase of his father's (and Zepplin's) music, called the Led Zepplin Experience. Well, of course there's the smell of pot in the air, here and there and beer is served, no biggy, for neither my wife nor I. Well just as the band starts the guy right next to me lights up and starts passing a joint between him and his friends, soon he passes it to me. I say the usual, "No brother, Im sober and no longer partake, but thank you". Usually people are "Hey cool" But he jumps up, stamps it out and goes into a 10 min appology! He says his father is in NA, like me, he knows the struggles and out of respect, he won't smoke. I told him, it's ok. But he refused to smoke. That was very cool. The power of the program works in mysterious ways

By the way Jason Bonham's show WAS AWESOME!!!!! ;D

[roygrip]

Oct 15, 2011 13:50:59 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

RG, Zepplin.

To put it mildly, I am a classic rock lover myself. ;D

Re: the dude next to you w/ the lefty: I sincerely love it when humans respect each other like that.

I do too, Iggy Particularly when the world around us seems so cruel and harsh, it's nice to see someone, (and a 20 something someone) act decently like that.

By the way, if you do get a chance to see or hear "Jason Bonham's Led Zepplin Experience" do yourself a favor, awesome! Incredible home movies of him and his dad, playing together (side note, Jason's been sober (AA) longer than me) Very gracious, nice man. (and his daddy would be proud!) (Now to the garage to peel some paint with one of my guitars ;D)

[roygrip]

AA Thoughts for the Day

Fallible!
I never have been and never can be perfect.
As that realization became a part of me -- and it took time --
it brought me one of the greatest of the many blessings
that have come to me from AA.
I have learned to accept myself as a fallible human being. . .
And what a comfort that thought is to me,
as I make my bemused way through life, one foot in a bucket,
pushing on doors marked "Pull."
-The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 2], pp. 167-68

Thought to Ponder . . .
Give me the courage to be imperfect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Open Door
Growth and understanding came slowly, but they came steadily.
And finally, I could feel gratitude for my sobriety -- for the saving grace of God.
Now I feel totally free, because I know the truth about myself.
I learned about people in AA, and this brought to me an understanding of myself.
I now know that spiritual growth is a great, wide, beautiful thing
and that I have only stepped up to the open door.
-Came To Believe . . ., p. 94

Thought to Ponder . . .
Get it -- Give it -- Grow in it.

[roygrip]

Oct 16, 2011 6:07:54 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

SO I never went to my meeting Friday night. DH came home and I was sorta in meltdown mode, so he suggested going to visit Kitty and the in-laws. I think I perked up for the first time all day. (My in-laws rock!) We bought subs for dinner and just hung out and talked and got me our of my head space. It was pretty darn good!

And yesterday I spent the day with my sister and *favorite* nephew. We had a nice time. Then we hit up a friend for dinner and a haunted house. What a great time. I have one particular issue in my life that is dragging me down and I'm trying to keep it out of my head. When I start to think about it, I push it away.

I don't know if it will work long term, but hopefully I can get through the rest of the month or something. Especially since said *favorite* nephew is coming to stay with us later this week! He's such a sweet kid (and so excited to stay with us -- doesn't he know how boring we are??)

Stay outta that head Daphne! We both know it's a bad place. My first few years of recovery, I would go there and I would get warned by others about my "stinkin' thinkin'", nowadays I can pretty well catch myself.
Take care of yourself, you know what to do

[roygrip]

We find that as we become more centered within the Higher Power part of us, our ego becomes less real, less threatening, less compelling. --Jerry Hirshfield

It's a struggle at times for us to remember that our Higher Power never moves away. God is as close as our breath, awaiting our invitation to take charge. Frequently this strikes us as new information. But each time a friend or a particular reading triggers our recall, we relax, because we know that God is taking over. Once again we trust that all is well.

It's our ego that fights giving up control during the early stages of many of our troubling experiences. We are frustrated again and again as we try to force what we think is the best solution; again and again, in the end, after we've finally given up the struggle, God smoothes the path.

All we have to do is give up control to God who is always waiting for us to turn our attention from our problems to God's presence.

I will feel peace and joy throughout today because I'll remember my Higher Power's presence.

[roygrip]

Gratitude
Through AA, I have been restored to sanity.
The promises are being fulfilled in my life.
I am grateful to be free from the slavery of alcohol.
- Daily Reflections, p. 154

Thought to Ponder . . .
There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.

[roygrip]

It's that place in our lives where what we've been hanging
onto . . . clinging to for dear life . . . is stripped away. It's that
place in us where we let go of what we know, what we think we
know, and what we want and surrender to the unknown. It is
the place of saying and meaning, 'I don't know.' It means
standing there with our hands empty for a while, sometimes
watching everything we wanted disappear; our self image, our
definition of who we thought we should be, the clones we've
created of ourselves, the people we thought we had to have, the
things we thought were so important to collect and surround
ourselves with, the job we were certain was ours, the place we
thought we'd live in all our lives. . . Surrender control to the
supreme wisdom and authority of God and to the Divine in your
soul. Step into the void with courage. Learn to say, I don't know.
That's not blind faith. It's pure faith that will allow God and your
spirit to lead you wherever your soul wants and needs to go. ~Melody Beattie

[kimber45]

Good Morning Everyone, still plugging along, one day at a time right So far, so good.

[Jake 48]

Good morning!
Led Zepplin = Hammer of the gods!!
RG, class act on the guy beside you to be respectful
for all of you on this thread

[kent]

OK, call it a shameless "bump" if you will but I'd hate to see this thread die so I'm checking in to see how everyone is doing. If you aren't doing a "perfect" job, don't give up. One day at a time will get you though it eventually.

[roygrip]

Hello Everyone! Busy at work. By the way, Hamsterwheel is doing wonderfully and fully involved on the "InTheRooms" thread.

No this thread won't die Kent! We won't let it!

Jake, yes I was impressed with said young man!

[roygrip]

Good for you Daphne! ;D Gooberheads are a good thing, LOL.

[roygrip]

Feeling Positive

Don't feel guilty about what you've failed to accomplish. Feel energized about what you now can achieve.

Stop feeling remorseful about the time you've wasted. Start feeling enthusiastic about the time that's now available to you.

When the setbacks come, you won't do yourself any favor by feeling sorry for yourself. What will help is to direct your feelings into being more determined than ever before.

There's nothing to be gained by feeling envious of what others have accomplished. Choose instead to feel inspired by their examples.

It doesn't help anyone for you to feel bad about those who are less fortunate than you. Instead, make meaningful use of your own good fortune so that it has a positive and powerful impact on many other lives.

For every reason to feel negative, there's an even better reason to feel positive. And from those positive feelings come positive and valuable results.

~Ralph Marston

[roygrip]

;D HEY! Where did ya'll go??

[roygrip]

AA Thoughts for the Day

Selflessness
We have been not only mentally and physically ill,
we have been spiritually sick.
When the spiritual malady is overcome,
we straighten out mentally and physically.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64

Thought to Ponder . . .
Into action, out of self.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Belonging
There is no more aloneness, with that awful ache
so deep in the heart of every alcoholic that nothing, before,
could ever reach it. That ache is gone and never need return again.
Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted and needed and loved.
In return for a bottle and a hangover,
we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 276


Thought to Ponder . . .
An open heart is never a lonely one.

[chiver78]

I'm kicking around. sick (and fighting it!!) but here.

a cousin of mine just posted this link on her FB page, I thought there might be some interest here.

www.thefix.com/content/sober-travel4400#.TqCBq-2miXE.facebook

[roygrip]

Oct 20, 2011 14:20:26 GMT -5 @insurancegal said:

Volunteered this morning with a bunch of pre-K kiddos. It is a reminder of the good things in life.

Very nice Iggy!

[roygrip]

Oct 20, 2011 15:21:46 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'm kicking around. sick (and fighting it!!) but here.

a cousin of mine just posted this link on her FB page, I thought there might be some interest here.

www.thefix.com/content/sober-travel4400#.TqCBq-2miXE.facebook

Hope you feel better Chiver! Yep I subscribe to the fix! Good deal. Great article about sober travel, and THE FIX has great articles in general about recovery! THANK YOU! ;D

[Jake 48]

Hello everyone