Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 11:35:03 GMT -5
Yes trying to get out of the new member status  Anyway, I've heard of it getting done before, always thought it was crazy... but never thought I knew anyone that was stupid enough to do it but I DO! It is my wife aunt and it was for the wedding we went to in October. Her aunt works for her bank and per my mother-in-law, she took out 40K in personal loan + credit card charges + withdrawal from retirement account to pay for her daughter's wedding this past October. Her mom was upset because the groom family invited more than 50% of the guests and did not contribute a penny and said: "At least cawiau mom's paid for half of your wedding costs" (Did I mention I love my mommy ) Anyway, it seems aunty dearest was complaining to my mother in law on how much the wedding actually did costs, the loan and repayment ... This is her only child (what is it with my wife family only having 1 kid) and I guess she felt that this will be a one time thing and she owed it to her daughter (Where did I hear that before... oh yeah from my mother in law about 2 years ago when we got married)  But still.... -> Is it every worth it to take out a loan just for a day? |
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 11, 2011 11:36:53 GMT -5
On "Say Yes to the Dress" a gal was spending $7500 on her wedding dress. She was a hairstylist, and she was marrying a policeman. People don't think.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 11:38:08 GMT -5
 I can't look... just tell me when its over...
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Jan 11, 2011 11:39:24 GMT -5
When one takes out student loans to get a college education, to make oneself more marketable and get into a profession and/or a satisfying career.
When one takes a loan to buy a car, one needs the car for transportation to a job, etc.
In the above two examples, one borrows money, and uses it to acquire value that is worth more then the expense.
Borrowing money, and even spending tens of thousands on a wedding provides no value.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Jan 11, 2011 11:40:15 GMT -5
i just got married last summer and i had to talk my hubs out of a big fancy expensive wedding. we did something smaller and more casual in his hometown and in mine (1100+ miles a part) but still spent a few grand.
if i had it my way, we would have eloped and saved the money for something much more important.
one day is just not worth it to me, especially when it's a day that goes so fast that it is all a blur!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 11, 2011 11:43:07 GMT -5
SF - some women gain quite a bit of net worth by getting married. But, that would happen - big wedding or no.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Jan 11, 2011 11:43:10 GMT -5
::It is my wife aunt and it was for the wedding we went to in October. Her aunt works for her bank and per my mother-in-law, she took out 40K in personal loan + credit card charges + withdrawal from retirement account to pay for her daughter's wedding this past October.::
that does sound like a good idea!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 11:43:23 GMT -5
if i had it my way, we would have eloped and saved the money for something much more important. one day is just not worth it to me, especially when it's a day that goes so fast that it is all a blur! I begged both sets of parents to just gift us the money and we would elope... but know they would not hear of such thing! I take comfort in knowing it did not costs me a dime.  |
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Post by kinetickid on Jan 11, 2011 11:50:52 GMT -5
A loan for a wedding??? No way, Jose.
Personally, I can't stand weddings; we opted to elope in Vegas.
Isn't this whole parents-pay-for-the-wedding thing now outdated?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 11, 2011 11:52:25 GMT -5
I love weddings. I hope my neices aren't too practical to have one. I could go for a great family party right pretty soon. Heck - I'll pay for it!
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Post by hawkeyes2001 on Jan 11, 2011 11:52:52 GMT -5
DBF and I just set aside 1k for us to fly to vegas some weekend when it is convenient to get married. And the marriage part is only going to cost us $150. We're more interested in the trip. So, no I could never see taking out a loan to pay for a wedding. Might be b/c I don't want one.
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Post by ziyia on Jan 11, 2011 11:55:11 GMT -5
My parents paid for our wedding. But that was in part cultural. There were about 200 or so people that they felt they had to invite, and there was no way that DH and I would have been able to afford to host that many people. Since it was important to my parents to have everyone there, they paid for it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 12:00:10 GMT -5
. Since it was important to my parents to have everyone there, they paid for it. Same thing for the both of us and both parents paid... and same goes for the whole cultural thing. |
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Jan 11, 2011 12:07:02 GMT -5
if i had it my way, we would have eloped and saved the money for something much more important. one day is just not worth it to me, especially when it's a day that goes so fast that it is all a blur! I begged both sets of parents to just gift us the money and we would elope... but know they would not hear of such thing! I take comfort in knowing it did not costs me a dime. both my parents and his parents gifted us some $$ (oddly, the same amount) it went straight into our savings and i would not allow DH to factor that into our budget. you always hear about the girl wanting the wedding and the guy wanting to elope. but it was totally the other way around for us. our parents would have been fine, DH was the one who insisted. |
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 11, 2011 12:13:16 GMT -5
I don't like weddings, but I love receptions, and BF also cares more about eating and drinking with our friends and family. We are going to start saving for a party after we go to Vegas in November. We'll just get married whenever we decide is the right time (in the next year or so - NOT Vegas) and then have our little shindig. We entertain often anyway, so why not throw the ultimate party?  Setting a set amount aside each month is fine, taking out massive loans is insane. IMHO, of course. |
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Post by jennml on Jan 11, 2011 12:29:53 GMT -5
I want a really lavish, traditional wedding. But would never go into debt for it. I think sometimes in the wedding frenzy you lose perspective on what's really important and what you should spend the big bucks on. So far my side of the guest list tops out at like 40 people...hopefully whoever I marry has an equally small list LOL eh, long engagements work too  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 12:37:29 GMT -5
Aunty's retirement plan is probably "move in with DD and SIL". Well, after all she did for them it's only fair, right?
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 11, 2011 12:38:01 GMT -5
...:::"This is her only child (what is it with my wife family only having 1 kid)":::... If your wife is representative of how expensive these kids are, then one is probably all they can afford. Can you imagine two kids bickering over their parents love (money) and how much more that would cost? DF and I are planning on May 2012. As much as I'd like to believe that we'll be able to save a enough every month to not carry wedding debt, I am very skeptical. We BOTH want something small and fun for our guests, but even a "party" still costs some money. We've gotten some gifts already, and we are sticking them in wedding savings. If I am contracting vendors, I will absolutely pay with a CC to retain the chargeback leverage should they mess up. Whether or not all the cash will be in the account to balance everything in full before the big day is another matter. No wait let me change my answer: "I'm not worried, the guests gifts will pay it off"  |
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 11, 2011 12:44:45 GMT -5
My parents paid for the reception dinner, about $4K for around 200 people. Mom opted to put it on their HELOC. I don't remember why she did it this way though. I do know she paid off the entire HELOC shortly after the wedding.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 11, 2011 12:44:49 GMT -5
I will say that I know a lot of people who ended up in some debt after self-funding their wedding. I can't say that our credit cards were clear the month after our wedding either. (This was before I was re-born in the YM cult.) And, as bad as it was that all of us stupid young people were in debt, most of us paid it off over the next year or two and now at 40-ish we are financially successful. It wasn't the end of the world - but it was still a dumb move.
That said, when I am 58 and my daughter is 25, I am not going to go into debt for her wedding. I will hopefully have some dough set aside - but being in debt at 60 is different than being in debt at 25.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 12:47:04 GMT -5
Aunty's retirement plan is probably "move in with DD and SIL". Well, after all she did for them it's only fair, right? A bit too late for that, she already moved in with them. Sorry let me rephrase that: she helped them purchased their house because a) current husband was/is unemployed b) They did not have enough money for the downpayment c) They needed a co-signer. As a result she moved in... But she told my wife a couple of weeks ago that she is giving her mom this year and she will need to move out. I say bull since a) They still did not repay the downpayment money b) Husband is still unemployed c) Mother's name is on the deed and mortgage papers So I doubt aunty dearest will be moving out anytime soon! |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 12:50:13 GMT -5
I know of one couple that put their entire wedding on credit cards. They were just starting out, but she wanted the big wedding. The payments from the cards made their start difficult. After the wedding they got a loan for furniture. They managed to keep it all going for a while, but eventually went into consumer credit and moved back in with the folks to try to pay down the debt (there was a lot of debt, not just the wedding). They paid off some, bought a house, and then filed bankruptcy. I don't know what happened after that.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 11, 2011 12:59:31 GMT -5
pooks - nice! I mean, that is pretty sweet that Visa paid for their wedding.
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 11, 2011 13:05:59 GMT -5
I had a wedding before paying off my student loans, does that count?
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 11, 2011 13:06:21 GMT -5
pooks - nice! I mean, that is pretty sweet that Visa paid for their wedding. Yes, yes it is... Hmm... *re-thinks plans* |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 13:07:35 GMT -5
I had a wedding before paying off my student loans, does that count? nope lol! I mean taking out loans to pay for the wedding  |
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 11, 2011 13:17:05 GMT -5
I had a wedding before paying off my student loans, does that count? nope lol! I mean taking out loans to pay for the wedding Isn't it potato/potahto? Let's say I have a house with lots of equity. I decide to pay cash for an expensive wedding. I use every dime I have and earn to pay for it. I take out a HELOC to pay my living expenses. Technically, I'm not taking out a wedding loan, but obstensibly, it's the same thing. QQ used money that otherwise could have paid for her student loans. That's totally equivilant to a wedding loan  |
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quotequeen
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Post by quotequeen on Jan 11, 2011 13:20:26 GMT -5
Thanks for the support J.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2011 13:25:11 GMT -5
nope lol! I mean taking out loans to pay for the wedding Isn't it potato/potahto? Let's say I have a house with lots of equity. I decide to pay cash for an expensive wedding. I use every dime I have and earn to pay for it. I take out a HELOC to pay my living expenses. Technically, I'm not taking out a wedding loan, but obstensibly, it's the same thing. QQ used money that otherwise could have paid for her student loans. That's totally equivilant to a wedding loan Not really. She took out the student loans before her wedding occurred. She did not stop paying on her student loans, just did not pay extra toward it... just had a wedding. Her wedding did not add to her outstanding debt. |
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jenna30
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Post by jenna30 on Jan 11, 2011 14:01:17 GMT -5
Mom gave us a budget for the wedding ($10k) We were allowed to keep anything left over. We spent about 80% of the money on the wedding, and the other 20% on the new house.
I think the entire wedding was around $8k -- of which, around $4k was spent on the reception. So far as I know, no loans were taken. If they were, I'm sure they were PIF within a month or two.
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