Taking out a loan for a wedding?

[alsmez]

I had a friend (who couldn't manage money to save her life) who was extremely proud of the fact that she and her fiance paid for their wedding entirely in cash. Of course, she had old credit card debt before the wedding, and racked up more by putting most of her living expenses on her cards while they were "paying cash for the wedding." Somehow I couldn't convince her that this strategy was not the same as having a wedding that she could actually afford.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I think the entire wedding was around $8k -- of which, around $4k was spent on the reception. So far as I know, no loans were taken. If they were, I'm sure they were PIF within a month or two.":::...

This is where I see DF and I going. Between what we've specifically saved, and with two gifts we know we are getting, we should have a little over $1k already. With well over a year to go, I'm sure we can put away about $250 to $500/month, but that may still be wishful thinking.

We agree we do not want to go into "ridiculous debt" for a wedding. But like the quote above, its still going to cost money. We don't have a backyard to have a big BBQ, and we don't want the hassle of administering it either. A nice restaurant where we can hang out for a few hours and have THEM worry about food, plates, silverware... might be better.

[swamp]

Jan 11, 2011 14:45:30 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

...:::"I think the entire wedding was around $8k -- of which, around $4k was spent on the reception. So far as I know, no loans were taken. If they were, I'm sure they were PIF within a month or two.":::...

This is where I see DF and I going. Between what we've specifically saved, and with two gifts we know we are getting, we should have a little over $1k already. With well over a year to go, I'm sure we can put away about $250 to $500/month, but that may still be wishful thinking.

We agree we do not want to go into "ridiculous debt" for a wedding. But like the quote above, its still going to cost money. We don't have a backyard to have a big BBQ, and we don't want the hassle of administering it either. A nice restaurant where we can hang out for a few hours and have THEM worry about food, plates, silverware... might be better.

WWBG, I totally agree. I willingly paid more for the reception at a restaurant that I know does an excellent job with receptions, rather than going with the K of C Hall where I would have to decorate and coordinate. I figured I'm getting married once, I want to have a really big party with lots of drinks and good food, and I wanted to do it right.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...I can see the advantage of taking out a small loan to enable our getting married... that small loan would then yield an immeasurable impact on improving our quality of life... so yes, I could see the value in it...

[Deleted]

Jan 11, 2011 14:49:40 GMT -5 BeenThere...DoneThat... said:

...I can see the advantage of taking out a small loan to enable our getting married... that small loan would then yield an immeasurable impact on improving our quality of life... so yes, I could see the value in it...

I won't deny it... it was a nice wedding and I am sure they will have some wonderful memories.

[Deleted]

When my ex-husband and I got married in 1974, we took out a $300 personal loan. My family paid for all the wedding expenses (really, really small wedding of about 20 people or so), but he was expected to pay for the rings, the flowers, and the honeymoon. We had plain gold bands, simple flowers, and spent the night at the local Mariott.

As far as the OP goes, the complaining aunt has forgotten basic wedding ettiquette. The bride's family pays for everything except the rehearsal dinner (and the groom expenses listed above). They can offer to pay for part of the rest but are under no obligation to do so. It is tacky (but human) to complain. The aunt should have sized the wedding to a cost she could afford and alloted a fair share of the guest spots to the groom's family.

We had both a daughter and a son. Our daughter had a slightly bigger wedding than her brother (about 200 people). I don't know what her final bill was (ex paid for everything except her veil, bridesmaids' luncheon, and bridesmaids' gifts, which I paid for), but she spent $500 on her dress and $250 on her veil. She got married at a small church but held her reception in a historic building. I think they spent most of their money on the reception.

Our son got married at an even smaller historic church. There were probably ten guests from our side of the family. My ex did the rehearsal dinner. The reception was at the bride's aunt's lakehouse. Again, tons of food. I remember I bought the groom's cake and plastic forks because they forgot both and no one else was available to go get them. I also ended up taking the only available wedding pictures since the photographer went out of business before they got their pictures.

[Cookies Galore]

Jan 11, 2011 14:45:30 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

We agree we do not want to go into "ridiculous debt" for a wedding. But like the quote above, its still going to cost money. We don't have a backyard to have a big BBQ, and we don't want the hassle of administering it either. A nice restaurant where we can hang out for a few hours and have THEM worry about food, plates, silverware... might be better.

That's exactly our thinking. Closing a small, intimate restaurant to the general public is what we want. And no kids allowed. For the love of god, no kids allowed.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jan 11, 2011 15:06:09 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

That's exactly our thinking. Closing a small, intimate restaurant to the general public is what we want. And no kids allowed. For the love of god, no kids allowed.

Lol. It takes all kinds. One of the 3 strings that came with my parents money was "invite all the family, including kids" which we planned on doing anyway 'cause we didn't have a problem with having them there. And I would never bring my kids to a wedding without being sure they were welcome there. If I wasn't sure from the invite, I'd call and doublecheck before RSVPing.

In case anyone cares, the other 2 strings were "no open bar" and "there must be food Dad will eat" He's a beef and potatoes guy when all is said and done. We didn't have a problem with the other 2 conditions either. Although I finally did have to tell Dad that I had friends who were vegetarian and I wasn't going to change the stuffed pepper entree to another meat and starch because they needed to eat too! lol.

[Deleted]

I think your aunt was foolish for paying for the wedding that way and her daughter was selfish to accept. I hope that was quite a wedding. I also think it's really stupid to expect the girl's family to pay - unless they are the ones demanding the fancy wedding.

[Deleted]

And no kids allowed. For the love of god, no kids allowed.

Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=finance&thread=1406&page=2#ixzz1AlbLyMxa

I wanted to kids to come to our wedding - it was an afternoon in the park, at a beach, with a barbecue! Everyone left their kids at home.

[thyme4change]

I wanted my neices and nephews at the wedding, but my friends all left their toddlers at home. My wedding was a party, it went late, we were drinking and dancing. 10 year olds could stay up and dance and have a great time. But 30% of our guests would have had to high-tail it out of there right after dinner to get their 1 year old in bed.

[zibazinski]

We went to a reception that actually had kid friendly food and it was funny to see the adults asking for it!!!! Hey, I don't care if you want to bring your kids but keep an eye on them and them running around and running into adults is not cool.

[jenna30]

We actually had our reception at a restaurant. The food was awesome. I think we included beer and wine through out the night. We had around 40 people attend.

If I remember correctly, each guest chose their own 3 courses from a preselected menu. There was also a kids menu. We had cup cakes in addition to the dessert included with the meal.

No dj, no dancing, no extra decorations on the table -- just a good meal w/family and friends.

[Nazgul Girl]

I have heard horror stories about the young couple having a $25k wedding, or more, financed on loans taken out by either their parents or themselves, and then one or the other says "It's all over, dearie ! I want a divorce ! " before the first anniversary. Then, they're still paying off the first wedding a few years later, when they want to get married again ! More wedding loans !!!

Duh.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

We spent around $12,000 on our wedding in 2003 (325 guests) which we paid for ourselves, without incurring debt or loans. It was very nice ~ with a catered champagne brunch, string quartet, fresh flowers, and purple-and-yellow M&Ms on every table! The silliest thing? We spent more on M&Ms than my wedding dress!

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...aww... are ya'll Lakers fans?

[TheOtherMe]

OP's MIL's made several mistakes in paying for her daughter's wedding. Biggest one was early withdrawal from retirement fund. There is no exception from 10% penalty for early withdrawal for wedding.

[zibazinski]

Same thing about my Aunt and Uncle, 54 years come August. Grandpa said they wouldn't last 6 months. Church with basement reception of the nuts/punch/mints/cake thing. One of my Aunt's friends ruined most of the wedding photos being a twit because she was jealous about my Aunt marrying my Uncle. Funny, my Aunt has never figured this out!!!!

[suziq38]

With some cultures, large money gifts have "Strings attached."