tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 1, 2022 8:44:49 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Jokes
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 1, 2022 17:00:56 GMT -5
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 1, 2022 20:55:55 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 2, 2022 4:54:08 GMT -5
I ALMOST wish I was still seeing my shrink, so I could send this to him. Hahahaha 😁
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 2, 2022 8:08:44 GMT -5
It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14". With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too." Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 7, 2022 12:04:33 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 8, 2022 9:15:47 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 8, 2022 16:35:45 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 12, 2022 10:51:37 GMT -5
An elderly couple entered a McDonald’s and sat next to a table where some young people were having dinner.
The old man walked over to the box and made the order for him.
He unwrapped the hamburger cut it in half and put one half next to his wife; very carefully, he counted all the fries and did the same.
He dipped two straws into the soda and put it between himself and his wife.
The old woman began to eat her half hamburger, people stared at her compassionately.
A young man approached them and politely offered to buy them another portion of food.
The old woman she replied that she did not bother, that they were used to sharing everything.
People realized that the old man had not eaten, he only watched as his wife ate, and from time to time, he drank a little soda.
Young man approached again and repeated his offer.
This time it was the old man who explained that no, they were used to sharing everything.
The young man then asked the old man what are you waiting for then?
THE TEETH!!!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 13, 2022 1:01:15 GMT -5
An elderly couple entered a McDonald’s and sat next to a table where some young people were having dinner. The old man walked over to the box and made the order for him. He unwrapped the hamburger cut it in half and put one half next to his wife; very carefully, he counted all the fries and did the same. He dipped two straws into the soda and put it between himself and his wife. The old woman began to eat her half hamburger, people stared at her compassionately. A young man approached them and politely offered to buy them another portion of food. The old woman she replied that she did not bother, that they were used to sharing everything. People realized that the old man had not eaten, he only watched as his wife ate, and from time to time, he drank a little soda. Young man approached again and repeated his offer. This time it was the old man who explained that no, they were used to sharing everything. The young man then asked the old man what are you waiting for then? THE TEETH!!! 🤣🤣🤣 BWAHAHAHA! You got me on that one!
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:32:12 GMT -5
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Oct 13, 2022 16:57:23 GMT -5
What has cities and no houses? Roads and no cars. Forests and no trees. Water and no fish? What color does the wind like?
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 13, 2022 19:11:02 GMT -5
What has cities and no houses? Roads and no cars. Forests and no trees. Water and no fish? What color does the wind like?
Wind question: blew?
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 13, 2022 20:50:24 GMT -5
What has cities and no houses? Roads and no cars. Forests and no trees. Water and no fish? What color does the wind like?
Answer?
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 14, 2022 10:44:30 GMT -5
What has cities and no houses? Roads and no cars. Forests and no trees. Water and no fish? What color does the wind like?
Answer? Perhaps maps?
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Jokes
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 14, 2022 10:57:45 GMT -5
Perhaps maps? Good answer!
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:32:12 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Twinkling
Location: Wishing Star
Favorite Drink: Fresh, clean cold bottled water.
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Oct 14, 2022 17:10:01 GMT -5
Yes. maps. I realized I should have put the answer on a spoiler. Wind likes the color blue.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 15, 2022 15:04:14 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 16, 2022 10:54:25 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 16, 2022 13:21:54 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 24, 2022 10:48:08 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 24, 2022 15:09:59 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 13, 2022 18:55:17 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 16, 2022 12:25:15 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 28, 2022 21:31:17 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 1, 2022 20:40:23 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 4, 2022 20:12:21 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Dec 4, 2022 20:13:28 GMT -5
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 8, 2022 10:32:29 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 11, 2022 12:16:11 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 14, 2022 18:44:09 GMT -5
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