seriousthistime
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 20:27:07 GMT -5
Posts: 4,736
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Post by seriousthistime on Jul 18, 2014 19:12:33 GMT -5
Serious this time [2]: 7/18/14 $7,103 (12/9/2012 $11,021 MPT 266)
I just paid some on the racing debt, scheduled a few payments for my next paycheck (which are not reflected here), and all in all I feel pretty poor! I scheduled payments for the next four Aug. 1st, what used to be the minimum payment on that debt's regular due date, and a payment in the amount of my old car payment on the date that car payment would otherwise be due. On the other hand, I bought an airline ticket with my debit card, checked my "gifts" savings account in view of another wedding I'm going to, and three birthdays to buy for in September, and I'm good on that, so I'm relieved for now.
I desperately need a pedi. I splurged and instead of going to a nail salon, I stopped at Sally Beauty Supply and bought a bottle of China Glaze for $5.99.
I'm also selling some stuff on eBay. So my PayPal account was going up, then went down when I saw something I really did need at a price that was too good to pass up, and now it's going up again. I'm eyeing my Longaberger baskets with the thought of selling them when this latest batch of eBay stuff is sold.
Grocery shopping -- ugh. I have to do that this weekend. The fridge and cupboard are not looking good.
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oweno
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 15:54:43 GMT -5
Posts: 133
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Post by oweno on Jul 20, 2014 21:23:27 GMT -5
Update 7/15/2014
OweNo: 7/15/2014 $20,340.41 (03/17/08 $48,581.63, M190, M298, 190, 324)
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nikiz628
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Post by nikiz628 on Jul 20, 2014 23:39:46 GMT -5
UPDATE:
Interest rate Starting Debt Last Update This Update Difference Sallie Mae #1 6% 4499.82 4075.90 4038.26 -37.64 Sallie Mae #2 6.8 2154.29 1896.87 1863.15 -33.72 AES Student Loan 2.39% 2088.37 1471.08 1471.06 -00.02 (skipped pymt) Tuition Reimb. 0% 2816.00 2216.00 2166.00 -50.00
Total Paid this update: $121.38 Total Debt Paid in 2014: $1,147.89 Total Debt Paid to date: $2,020.01
NikiZ628: 7/20/2014 $9,538.47 (6/17/2013 $11,558.48 MW294)
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Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jul 22, 2014 12:04:49 GMT -5
Ughghg. I am seriously stressing about finances at the moment. I don't know what happened or when it happened, but things are messed up. And my brain can't think straight enough at the moment to figure it out. I know everything is paid and nothing is overdrawn, but my spreadsheet that plans out a years' worth of payments is messed up. We had been making everything work within my paychecks and now with the new house we have gone to needing DH's income too. I feel like I lost some sense of control since I can no longer pay things on my own It will all get settled soon. I just really REALLY hate this limbo phase. We are in the process of moving our bill-pay account over to the bank where we keep our his/hers checking accounts so that it's all consolidated. That will be nice once it's done, but such a PITA to actually do!!
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gidgetc13
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Post by gidgetc13 on Jul 22, 2014 14:44:02 GMT -5
Agghh!! August is a 3 paycheck month for me, so I had plans to make some serious progress on SL#5. Well, we just found out that BIL is getting married in San Francisco in August. DH is going to fly out there with his parents and sister so they can attend BIL's wedding. This is kind of a bummer for me for two reasons: a) because of the super short notice I can't go with and, b) this is going to eat up most of the extra money I was planning to put on SL#5 next month. The reason for the super quick wedding is because BIL's fiance is from Malaysia. They have been working on getting her over here on an engagement visa and their paperwork was finally approved. She arrived in the US last week sometime. I think they have 90 days to get married, but she is hoping to transfer to her company's headquarters in San Fran (the reason BIL moved out there) and I guess they can't even talk about transferring her until she is married to BIL, so they want to get married quickly. It is very exciting but like I said, I'm kind of bummed about it. MIL said she wished we had more notice so me and the kids could go too. Sigh, I guess another few months of hanging on to SL#5 isn't going to kill me. The hardest part is probably going to be the fact that I'm going to be alone with all three kids for 4 days, eek! At least I only have to work 2 of those 4 days. I'm going to have to get up super early to get everyone out the door on time. And DH complained when I left him with the kids for a weekend and he spent the entire weekend at his parent's house... .
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acemom
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Post by acemom on Jul 23, 2014 7:13:08 GMT -5
Here is my update with the money that I "borrowed" from my son's savings account. 2 new zeros and 5 of the 7 left are under $1,000.I spent a little more than I had planned while on vacation, but I am ok with it. UPDATE: acemom 7/23/2014 4,933.57 (5/16/07: $23,886.00 ) UPDATE | 6/19/2014 | 7/23/2014 | Kohls | 175.03 | 87.74 | US Bank | 772.50 | 742.50 | AMEX | 359.88 | 375.39 | Discover 1 | 766.51 | 1,356.17 | Discover 2 | 813.11 | - | Chase 2 | 992.02 | 962.02 | Chase 1 | 1,262.00 | 101.73 | Citi Cards | 1,333.02 | 1,308.02 | PNC CC | 2,040.63 | - | Total | 8,514.70 | 4,933.57 | Diff Last Post | 3,581.13 | | Total Amt Pd | 18,952.43 | | Total % Pd | 79% | |
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crazylady14
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Post by crazylady14 on Jul 23, 2014 13:34:23 GMT -5
UPDATE: CrazyLady14: 7/8/2014 82,750 (1/15/2009 141,009 M751) | 1/15/2009 | 6/5/2014 | 7/8/2014 | Diff Last Post | Total Diff | CC #2 | 8,767 | 0 | 0 | 0 | (8,767) | CC #3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Atty #2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Braces | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | CC #1 | 16,045 | 0 | 0 | 0 | (16,045) | Atty #1 | 4,618 | 0 | 0 | 0 | (4,618) | Truck | 20,000 | 6,035 | 5,654 | (381) | (14,346) | SL | 13,896 | 2,906 | 2,769 | (137) | (11,127) | Dr | 0 | 4,700 | 4,980 | 280 | 4,980 | House | 77,683 | 69,791 | 69,647 | (144) | (8,036) | Total | 141,009 | 83,432 | 83,050 | (382) | (57,959) |
I think I forgot to post this.
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nikiz628
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Post by nikiz628 on Jul 23, 2014 14:26:38 GMT -5
So, H is wanting to go back to school. He started college right after hs, but never competed a degree (partly due to his demanding job, but mostly because he wasn't sure what he wanted to do as far as a degree/future career). He reapplied to to college he had been attending, and they notified him that they cannot re-admit him because he owes $765.00 from 2007. Okay. Here is my issue with this. 1. He wasn't even in school then. 2. We have never received anything from them about this. He asked them what it was for and they said "You registered for online classes and then never logged in or dropped them". Why on Earth would he do that? He never registered for classes in 2007, and he certainly would not have just "not logged in" if he had. It's weird to me. Regardless of all the arguing he did, they will not drop the charges.
He asked if they would re-admit him, and he would just add that $765 to his student loan balance. He was told no, due to the length of the debt. They also told him that they saw he filed bankruptcy, but since it was an educational debt, it only waived the collection fees on the balance. He was so confused. Again he told the woman in the business office, that we did not know about this, could not have filed on it because WE DIDNT KNOW, and we NEVER received anything from them as far as a bill...and we sure as heck never received anything from a collection agency. He was livid. But the school is unrelenting.
My question is, what are my options? I thought about having him call and ask if he paid in cash that day, if they would accept less than he owed. We do not have the full amount and I feel terrible that this is becoming such a hassle for my H. He was already nervous about diving back in to college again, and it took a lot of thought and discussion to get him to the "ready to do it" phase. He still wants to go back, I am just trying to figure out how to make this happen.
Thoughts? Ideas? Advice?
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jul 23, 2014 16:25:37 GMT -5
There's a statute of limitations on the debt, depending on your state. This is old enough I wouldn't pay without first consulting someone that knows your state's particular laws. If he did file BK and used an attorney for it, he should go through that attorney to see if the school can even collect at all. They would have to prove that he did owe it in order to force collections. What kind of proof do they have?
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HappyCat
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Smiling's my FAVORITE!!
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Post by HappyCat on Jul 23, 2014 21:46:23 GMT -5
UPDATE: Solara Loan | 2.990% | $7,500.00 | $4,700.00 | $2,800.00 | 37.33% | |
HappyCat #3 Race: 07/23/14 $4,700 (12/11/13 $7,500.00) Hello Everyone! I have been busy with a summer class and haven't had much time to post an update. I hope I haven't fallen off the list. Race #3 for the car loan is moving along and I am on track to have it paid off by Christmas or shortly thereafter. I have a VERY expensive year coming up with DD#2 tuition and expenses as she will be in clinicals and not be able to work much. That doesn't start until next fall so I am trying to pay the car off so I can save and get ahead of the game. It's all good. I hope everyone is doing well and that your races are progressing nicely. Sam: Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm praying that all does well and that Mom and Son are healthy and happy!
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seahorse
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Post by seahorse on Jul 24, 2014 0:39:16 GMT -5
UPDATE: Seahorse [2] 07/24/14 $9,971.00 (01/25/12 $56,511.37 MPT206, 237, 248, 268, 276) | 06/27/14 | 07/24/14 | | Debt | Previous | Current | Diff last | Discover DH | $2,000.00 | $1,748.00 | -$252.00 | Citibank 26 | $2,660.00 | $2,620.00 | -$40.00 | Citibank 27 | $3,620.00 | $3,565.00 | -$55.00 | Discover (Mine) | $2,175.00 | $2,038.00 | -$137.00 | TOTAL | $10,455.00 | $9,971.00 | -$484.00 |
Pd since last time | ($484.00) | Total Amt Pd | $46,540.37 | Total % Pd | 82.36% |
Left digit drop . My race should pick a bit of speed b/c all of my balance transfers are applying everything to the oldest balance transfers which are the ones I am racing. Even though I'm trying to focus on paying off Citi 26 first DH Discover and my Discover might just get done before my focus one .
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seahorse
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Post by seahorse on Jul 24, 2014 1:18:02 GMT -5
Sam: I hope when you get all the final numbers on the house that you can wiggle it all back onto just using your paycheck. Gidget: Boo on not getting to go to San Francisco. I'm excited to see what you will get to put on SL #5 after you pay for the extra expenses this month. That loan is so close to almost being done. It's so wonderful how you aren't getting into any additional debt for DH's trip and you could use what was going to the loan for the wedding expenses. acemom: Great job on paying down the credit card debt by using a "loan" from your soon. It will so much easier paying that back with 0% interest nikiz: Nice and steady progress. It looks like you will pay off about the same amount this year as last year so that will be some wonderful progress on the debt front. The school issue sounds very frustrating. oweno: I see a left digit drop sometime in the near future! seriousthistime: Yay for selling things on ebay! I have stuff I just haven't gotten myself organized. I just need to shut up and do it. It will also be a great excuse to use the small post office in the tiny town near our city. I'm sure it will be easier mailing packages from there b/c I've never seen a line at this post office. CrazyLady: The truck and SL are picking up speed. So awesome that the truck had a left digit drop! HappyCat: Great job on paying down the car loan. That will be a great present to yourself having it paid off near Christmas
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seahorse
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Post by seahorse on Jul 24, 2014 1:48:40 GMT -5
My ugggh is a ROOT CANAL! . I'm 100% positive she will say that when I go in tomorrow. I had dental work done last month and she had to dig deeper into the tooth than she had realized she would for the new filling. I had annoying pain for a couple of days that seemed to go away and did well for a couple of weeks. Now my jaw hurts and my tooth is throbbing. I thought it was all jaw related so I was putting on icy hot, which worked well but the pain would be back. I'm also taking 4 ibprofin (which is prescription strength)(I hate taking pain meds and always take the smallest dose possible). Today the pain was awful so I called and DH will take off from work to take me to the dentist. I have an afternoon appointment but I'm considering calling for a morning appointment b/c it now hurts to eat..even just tapping the tooth with my tongue makes it hurt. It took 3 hours to calm the tooth down so it wasn't so excruciating and yes I cried and cried during those 3 hours. I'm also frustrated b/c DH and I just had a debt meeting about needing to buckle down and put the cards up. I'm planning on putting this expense on the VISA to give us time with a game plan. We opted out of dental insurance this year so we'll most likely sign up again the next time it's offered at DH's work. We have $140 in the ef and $36.70 in our dentist fund. The card we will use has a rate of 6.65% so that's not bad. I think I'm just annoyed at the timing so I'll just get it done and have a new starting point on debt, plus I'll save money by not needing so much ibprofin .
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Jul 24, 2014 7:19:16 GMT -5
So, H is wanting to go back to school. He started college right after hs, but never competed a degree (partly due to his demanding job, but mostly because he wasn't sure what he wanted to do as far as a degree/future career). He reapplied to to college he had been attending, and they notified him that they cannot re-admit him because he owes $765.00 from 2007. Okay. Here is my issue with this. 1. He wasn't even in school then. 2. We have never received anything from them about this. He asked them what it was for and they said "You registered for online classes and then never logged in or dropped them". Why on Earth would he do that? He never registered for classes in 2007, and he certainly would not have just "not logged in" if he had. It's weird to me. Regardless of all the arguing he did, they will not drop the charges. He asked if they would re-admit him, and he would just add that $765 to his student loan balance. He was told no, due to the length of the debt. They also told him that they saw he filed bankruptcy, but since it was an educational debt, it only waived the collection fees on the balance. He was so confused. Again he told the woman in the business office, that we did not know about this, could not have filed on it because WE DIDNT KNOW, and we NEVER received anything from them as far as a bill...and we sure as heck never received anything from a collection agency. He was livid. But the school is unrelenting. My question is, what are my options? I thought about having him call and ask if he paid in cash that day, if they would accept less than he owed. We do not have the full amount and I feel terrible that this is becoming such a hassle for my H. He was already nervous about diving back in to college again, and it took a lot of thought and discussion to get him to the "ready to do it" phase. He still wants to go back, I am just trying to figure out how to make this happen. Thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Well, there is a statute of limitation that would apply. When that limitation period begins depends on a lot of things. If the school debt was not listed on the bankruptcy schedule, it was not discharged. And since DH didn't even know about it, I don't think it was listed on the schedule and therefore was not discharged. Did it ever show on a credit report? Do you pull your credit reports periodically? Talking to people without authority to do anything is pointless and frustrating. Write a letter. Take it as high up in the college as you can go with it. If that doesn't work, call your bankruptcy attorney or another attorney and have him send a letter. And if that doesn't work, maybe suggest that they roll that amount into the amount due for classes for this semester. Especially if he enrolls for online classes, see if they will allow him to transfer the overdue charge to pay for his online classes this semester. Be prepared that they will say no. Unfortunately, whether the debt is collectible is not the issue as far as whether DH can enroll in classes again. In this case, the school is like most other creditors. If they think you owe them money, they can decide not to do business with you until the bill is paid. Similar to a cell phone bill. If they say you owe the money, you can fight it but if they don't agree, they won't restore your service. You can, however, do business with another cell phone company. Is another college an option for DH?
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nikiz628
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Post by nikiz628 on Jul 25, 2014 1:43:20 GMT -5
So, H is wanting to go back to school. He started college right after hs, but never competed a degree (partly due to his demanding job, but mostly because he wasn't sure what he wanted to do as far as a degree/future career). He reapplied to to college he had been attending, and they notified him that they cannot re-admit him because he owes $765.00 from 2007. Okay. Here is my issue with this. 1. He wasn't even in school then. 2. We have never received anything from them about this. He asked them what it was for and they said "You registered for online classes and then never logged in or dropped them". Why on Earth would he do that? He never registered for classes in 2007, and he certainly would not have just "not logged in" if he had. It's weird to me. Regardless of all the arguing he did, they will not drop the charges. He asked if they would re-admit him, and he would just add that $765 to his student loan balance. He was told no, due to the length of the debt. They also told him that they saw he filed bankruptcy, but since it was an educational debt, it only waived the collection fees on the balance. He was so confused. Again he told the woman in the business office, that we did not know about this, could not have filed on it because WE DIDNT KNOW, and we NEVER received anything from them as far as a bill...and we sure as heck never received anything from a collection agency. He was livid. But the school is unrelenting. My question is, what are my options? I thought about having him call and ask if he paid in cash that day, if they would accept less than he owed. We do not have the full amount and I feel terrible that this is becoming such a hassle for my H. He was already nervous about diving back in to college again, and it took a lot of thought and discussion to get him to the "ready to do it" phase. He still wants to go back, I am just trying to figure out how to make this happen. Thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Well, there is a statute of limitation that would apply. When that limitation period begins depends on a lot of things. If the school debt was not listed on the bankruptcy schedule, it was not discharged. And since DH didn't even know about it, I don't think it was listed on the schedule and therefore was not discharged. Did it ever show on a credit report? Do you pull your credit reports periodically? Talking to people without authority to do anything is pointless and frustrating. Write a letter. Take it as high up in the college as you can go with it. If that doesn't work, call your bankruptcy attorney or another attorney and have him send a letter. And if that doesn't work, maybe suggest that they roll that amount into the amount due for classes for this semester. Especially if he enrolls for online classes, see if they will allow him to transfer the overdue charge to pay for his online classes this semester. Be prepared that they will say no. Unfortunately, whether the debt is collectible is not the issue as far as whether DH can enroll in classes again. In this case, the school is like most other creditors. If they think you owe them money, they can decide not to do business with you until the bill is paid. Similar to a cell phone bill. If they say you owe the money, you can fight it but if they don't agree, they won't restore your service. You can, however, do business with another cell phone company. Is another college an option for DH? I am going to pull out the bankruptcy paperwork and see if it was ever mentioned on anything. I have pulled his credit report several times and it has never been on there. I think I am going to give the bankruptcy attorney a call on Monday morning and see what he thinks we should do. I had never even thought about a statute of limitations.... googling that now for our state. And they already told him no when he asked about enrolling and transferring the charge to his tuition for the upcoming semester. They said if the debt was a year old or less, they could have, but not now. I am really glad I asked this on here because now I have some questions for the attorney and then the school. Hopefully we can get this taken care of without a lot of "drama". Another college could be an option for H, but this one has the lowest tuition in the area and the flexibility of completing his entire degree via online courses (which is really important). Thank you ladies for your help!! EDITED: The statute of limitations in my state is 6 years.
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urdoingit
Established Member
May the road rise to meet you ...
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 8:04:56 GMT -5
Posts: 480
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Post by urdoingit on Jul 25, 2014 6:12:55 GMT -5
urdoingit: 7/25/2014 $8,676.01 (3/1/13 $27,281.43 MPT279) UPDATE 3/1/2013 6/30/2014 7/25/2014 HFLC $14,175.00 $0.00 $0.00 Fifth Third Bank $13,106.43 $8,944.42 $8,676.01 Total $27,281.43 $8,944.42 $8,676.01 Diff Last Post -$268.41 Total Amt Pd -$18,605.42 Total % Pd 68.2% A lot going on - work is insane, doing little projects at home, out of town visitors, etc. Hoping to get some sleep tonight ... been running on empty all week and it's starting to catch up to me. Every time I look at my racing balance I think that if we weren't paying for another wedding, it would be gone by now. Thank goodness this is the last wedding we will be paying for! Have a good weekend, Racers!
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seriousthistime
Senior Member
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Post by seriousthistime on Jul 25, 2014 7:23:17 GMT -5
So, nikiz628, then it seems you either don't owe the debt (because it was on the bankruptcy schedule of debts or you can convince the school you don't owe it), or you owe the debt but it is uncollectible.
If push comes to shove-- which I hope it doesn't, but playing the "what-ifs" -- if the school won't allow your DH to register because of that debt, it seems it is still the least expensive option for him among the colleges he can choose. You may have to eat that $765 and consider it money saved in the long run as opposed to going to a more expensive, less convenient college.
I guess there's a lesson to be learned here for all of us, on all of our debts: when they are paid off, get a statement showing there is a zero balance, and keep that statement! Rarely do any of us do that, though.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
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momofelliott4
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Post by momofelliott4 on Jul 25, 2014 11:06:20 GMT -5
Update 7-25-14 37858.29 (5-13-09 53883.21 P.331)
- 1116.24 since last post
I am so glad that I decided to restart my totals adding in a new to us car loan. I don't like seeing my totals go up, but since I am paying on it anyway, I may as well see the totals go down from the payments made on it.
*Still feel like we never have any money and wondering if I will ever feel like we have a little wiggle room. I am tired of being in DEBT!!!!!!!
Thank you ladies(and gents) for the racing motivation; so glad to have this board on my side.
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lulu0312
Established Member
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 21:08:22 GMT -5
Posts: 261
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Post by lulu0312 on Jul 25, 2014 13:26:44 GMT -5
UPDATE:
lulu0312 07/25/14 10,492.18 (9/21/2007 88,069.92 N571,608)
Difference since last post: $352.64 Total percentage paid off: 88.09%
Not posting much, but read often.
So much going on here, and like a lot of you, life is crazy. My DH is fighting a very rare cancer, and the prognosis is not great. "One day at a time" is so cliche, but so true. Praying for miracles...
God bless you all in what ever your struggles may be... we all have them!
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chalupabatman
Junior Member
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Post by chalupabatman on Jul 25, 2014 14:28:29 GMT -5
Hi guys! I am a very infrequent poster, but do lurk a lot. Would it be possible to join in?
We have 32,747.14 in CC debt and 11.648.18 in student loans that I am hoping to race! Our goal is to have our non-mortgage debt drastically reduced so that we can move to a home that better fits our needs. Once the move is complete we would like to explore the possibility of having another child. We have a lot of work ahead!
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Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jul 25, 2014 14:36:09 GMT -5
I absolutely love your name, chalupabatman!!! Made me giggle - I LOVE that show Welcome to the group!
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chalupabatman
Junior Member
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Post by chalupabatman on Jul 25, 2014 15:11:26 GMT -5
Sam- haha, I agree, it is so good!! Thank you for welcoming me Chalupabatman 7/25/14 44,395.32 (7/25/14 44,395.32 MPT334) Is that correct?
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Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jul 25, 2014 15:16:58 GMT -5
Looks right to me!
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chalupabatman
Junior Member
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Post by chalupabatman on Jul 25, 2014 15:17:59 GMT -5
Awesome, thanks!
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regina24601
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Post by regina24601 on Jul 25, 2014 16:33:37 GMT -5
lulu - I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I can't begin to tell you how much I hate cancer and what it does to families. I am pulling for your DH though and hoping he pulls through.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Jul 25, 2014 18:12:55 GMT -5
lulu, so sorry that your DH's prognosis is not great... I remember when you posted (a year ago, maybe?) about his situation and your decision to get married. I got the impression it was a totally treatable cancer. Has it become something more? Regardless, we are here and rooting for you.
Welcome, chalupabatman!
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lisamomof4
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Post by lisamomof4 on Jul 26, 2014 0:15:22 GMT -5
Lulu...i'm so very sorry for your husband and will pray for him.... have just come back from last apt. with my mom...this is round 4 of breast cancer with her...she is showing clear hopefully it will follow the previous occurrences and we will get a 10-12yr. remission. i frequently have had to bring youngest dd along on dr. trips...she has a set of lego friends that travel in a box with us and she will sit quietly at our feet and play while mom receives her treatments... been trying to be the responsible adult...updated/reviewed the insurance...car/home/life...my brain is just rattling with numbers...DH's work used to provide a life insurance policy as part of benefits but reduced it down to just 10k and dropped health insurance for family. we had a separate term life when the older kids were little but it had expired. now that we have youngest dd (just turned 8) after looking at financials we decided need for new term insurance. big trick of all this is making it fit in the budget. is it bad that sometimes i feel like it's progress when everything is just paid on time and the right amounts ....the wedding was just such a huge drain on finances...not the kids fault, they paid what we had all agreed on...his families fault, they don't appear to have any need to keep their word on anything...few weeks before wedding, the rehearsal dinner that his mom threw a fit to host. we had offered to let them host it at our home (they are from out of state) she said she wanted it 'fancy' so our home would not suit...so picked a $$$ restaurant so they could have 'one nice experience'. we discover she is planning to pay only for her own meal and leave guests to cover their own..'or let her parents pay'. the kids were trying to figure out how they could afford the bill. dh and i scrambled and cashed in a few of his vacation days to pay to cater it at our house. rehearsal was at 3 and dinner at 6....his family was a no-show for both...we were at the rehearsal when we found out that his mother had not made the final payment on her share of the reception hall and they had to have the money by 5pm or reception was cancelled...i grabbed our mortgage $$ and made a dead run for it...so after this (this is just some of what she pulled...don't know how he turned out such a great kid) relaxing at the house chatting with the 30+ that showed...and about 9pm his mother shows up at our home with her daughter and several uninvited people...she wants food and complains nothing is left for her....it's the closest to murder i've come in a long while...then she wants me to alter his sisters dress...um, night before my dd's wedding told her so sorry but i couldn't....feel free to hit walmart they had thread and duct tape to put up the hem. to help save i did all the decor for the wedding and paid for all costs involved. his mom and sister were invited but never showed up for any of this. day of wedding they decided to join us to have hair/makeup done then tried to walk out on their bill. we had some unknown guests at the church and his mother demanded to have them included in pictures... ....they also showed up at the reception and she wanted them hosted....we had 2 no-shows for dinner...told her the entire group (we are talking 10 people) could stay for cocktail hour and appetizers but after that she would either have to pay cash (reception hall requirement) or they would have to leave till desert..(i did say she could choose 2 to stay and use the no-show seats)....she gets ticked and says we are 'cheep' then tries to grab the gift cards to take the money...by that time son-in law tells her it's time to stop and we have all had enough...good thing is i don't think most of the guests had any idea. eventually it gets sorted out and the reception went on...she left right after dinner (objected to the fact there was dancing and angry she didn't get a 'special' introduction)...however her crashers all ended up staying and dancing...lol, next day she showed up at our house and while sitting in the driveway texted SIL a demand for centerpieces, cake and left-over favors... ...i sent him out with 2 pieces of cake....as for the rest...she helped with none of it and paid for none of it so she could have none of it... sorry to complain but it's been a real pain in my side....the kids at first tried to explain it away as a difference in culture (he is hispanic) but we have known him for years and he is a great kid...honestly we never saw this coming...and we have hispanic friends and none of them behave like this and we did ask if we had somehow miss some secret cultural taboo or something...in the end it comes to the fact the woman is nuts...
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seriousthistime
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 20:27:07 GMT -5
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Post by seriousthistime on Jul 26, 2014 9:13:24 GMT -5
I totally understand the rant. Weddings do seem to bring on the drama. There was a thread in YM not too long ago about cultural differences and how they can play out at weddings. notmsnmoney.proboards.com/thread/40269/tacky-iiBut even when there is no cultural difference, people can be downright insensitive/rude. I am about to attend the fourth wedding of my kids (out of three kids; one is divorced and getting remarried, the other two married and staying that way). Each presented its own challenges. We did have a cultural clash at the first one (which ended in divorce). But it was a small wedding and it played out around us rather than involving us directly. My daughter was marrying into a super-religious family. She had a civil ceremony at the courthouse on the first day that CA allowed gay people to marry, so you can imagine how his parents took all that. Not only was their son getting married without a religious ceremony, but there was visible sin all around them. We were all waiting for names to be called and all sorts of couples were close by, kissing, arms around each other, and so on. The worst part for me with these weddings is having to be in the presence of XH. I have to sit next to him during ceremonies where they talk of everlasting love, commitment, and fidelity, none of which is particularly important in his mind (judging from his behavior). Your SIL's mother will always be his mother. You don't have to like her, and you can complain about her all you want (especially here), but try to put on a good front when she's mentioned and don't run her down in front of him, your DD, or any grandchildren that might come your way. On some level she made him the great person he is. Be glad you are the parent who gets to be gracious about the drama, and not the one causing it.
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nikiz628
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Joined: Jun 11, 2013 17:25:59 GMT -5
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Post by nikiz628 on Jul 27, 2014 2:08:29 GMT -5
lulu, I am so sorry to hear about your DH. Prayers for you!
lisamomof4- that sounds like it was a rough wedding for you. I agree with seriousthistime, you don't have to like her but she must have done something right if she raised a good son! I hope the wedding was the worst of it!
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ners
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 16:21:18 GMT -5
Posts: 6,496
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Post by ners on Jul 28, 2014 5:14:30 GMT -5
Update
86158.13 (1/3/2011 $97,382.42 MPT5)
Still on track to reach yearly goal.
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