Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:37:36 GMT -5
regina24601Message #13964 - 11/22/10 05:27 PMGot it, Sam! You can delete, and you can expect shortly! KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #13965 - 11/22/10 05:32 PMKgb, good luck with pursing the new/old job. I have to ask, though--why did you leave that job in the first place? The commute alone makes your old job sound worth considering going back to!
I left mainly because of the schedule. I was working a lot of nights and weekends, every Saturday night as a matter of fact. We knew we wanted to have kids and that DH's schedule is goofy. I thought having a Monday to Friday daylight job would make the most sense. There weren't a lot of job opportunities closer to home. Also, I was led to believe I would have a bit more flexibility and independence at my current job than it's turned out. I worked here for two years before I had Avery, and while the commute stunk, it wasn't such a big deal because I was coming home to an empty house. Now I want to get home and see my baby, and the drive is getting to me (especially after the horrible winter weather last year when the commute was really bad). I guess things with my current job didn't work out quite like I had thought as far as the hours. At my old job they've changed how they're scheduling people to work, and I'm going to make it a stipulation going back that I will work limited nights and weekends. Also things have gotten very bad at my current job in a lot of ways. I was planning to quit after the holidays no matter what. But I would rather have another job lined up, and I miss what I used to do. ladykiMessage #13966 - 11/22/10 06:09 PMSam - Congratulations- Wohooo, you will be having a summer baby. Gusita- Glad to know your babyshower went great. ot all you need is the baby. KRR627Message #13967 - 11/22/10 06:30 PMKRR, when did you go off of birth control? If July was your first cycle off of the pill, that would explain why it was a little different. For August, your ovulation date isn't very clear with just your temps. Without the positive OPK I don't know if there would be any kind of pattern. It has been awhile (well about 8 months I guess) since I charted, and I'd forgotten how confusing they could be. Just curious, what kind of OPKs do you use? I've never been on birth control pills - just used con.doms through May '10. So, just an unusual month? But, since I've only been charting for a few months, about the only thing I know for sure is that stress tends to delay ovulation. A few times before we were TTC I had long cycles (~35-40 days) and I think it was when I was unemployed and depressed or transitioning to my current job. Not sure what made the last two cycles longer. I did exercise less, maybe that's part of it. I've used Answer brand OPKs for 2 or 3 of the months for sure. I think one month was something different. The September cycle I ran out of OPK tests and refused to buy more. I was trying to be frugal, lol. I usually do the OPK test with FMU. The instructions said it was ok to do so and that was the easiest for me. I'm thinking about buying OPKs and/or pregnancy tests online. That might be a good way for me to compromise on making sure I have enough to do it right without spending too much. Who wants to spend extra money when they don't need to? I'm trying to not get too obsessed with charting and every little detail. It's hard to find the balance between "I'll do whatever it takes to get pregnant but it makes me a little obsessed during most of the month" and "Relax, have fun trying, since there's no reason to believe right now that there's something wrong." DH and I discussed yesterday that knowing what we know now, we would have stopped preventing a few months earlier. Oh well, we can only move on from here. If nothing else, I've learned so much in charting and TTC. I didn't like biology in high school, but when something directly affects you, it's fascinating! I have a new found appreciation for what a miracle babies are! EconStudent07Message #13968 - 11/22/10 06:55 PMKRR, I'm sorry, I do remember now that you said that you hadn't used BCP. Stress can definitley delay ovulation, and for some reason our cycles just aren't always regular. I charted for 8 or 9 months, had 5 cycles (3 of them ovulatory), and my ovulation day ranged from cycle day 26 to cycle day 37. I don't know why they were so irregular. I didn't ever buy tests online, but that's a good idea. You probably could definitley find some cheaper that way! I had good success with the $1 pregnancy tests from the dollar stores. The month I got pregnant I bought a 20 pack of Answer OPKs, and I took at least one a day starting on cycle day 20. My situation was a little different though - it's good that your ov date doesn't vary THAT much! Definitley try not to obsess, it doesn't help anything! I too enjoyed learning to appreciate how much really goes into conception.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:38:01 GMT -5
GusitaRenkerMessage #13969 - 11/22/10 07:44 PMKgb-If you think you will be happier at your old job, I say go for it. I just think there is nothing more draining the working at a job that you hate, and that commute time sounds just horrid. Keeping my fingers crossed that things work out for you! Regina-Aside from this insane itching on my hands and feet (which I am still not seeing a rash or anything, but truthfully, I can’t really see my feet too well right now ), I am feeling pretty good overall! I do get some back and stomach achiness from time to time, but nothing like before I got my support belt. Baby Brett seems to hate it when I lay flat, whether its on my side, back, or stomach, so I have kind of built a wedge in the bed to sleep on with a bunch of pillows and blankets. DH calls it my nest, LOL. That's helped a lot with the back and tummy pain too. How are you feeling? Are you planning on working up until you have the baby? Gusita- Glad to know your babyshower went great. ot all you need is the baby. Thanks Ladyki! It’s totally my fault, I forgot to put the baby on my registry! It kind of hit me last night just how close it really is. Econ-How are you feeling this week? GusitaRenkerMessage #13970 - 11/22/10 07:45 PMKRR-I bought the cheap pregnancy tests off Amazon, and they worked great! It was so nice being able to test every day at only twenty cents a test. It saved me a ton of $$$. gardenergirl0804Message #13971 - 11/22/10 07:54 PMkgb - Ughh, that commute sounds terrible. I hope your old boss lets you come back. 5 minutes away from home would be wonderful. That would be so nice if you could go home and see Avery at lunchtime and take her to work if you needed to. Sounds like this would allow you a lot more flexibility. Keeping my fingers crossed for you it all works out! Gusita - that's great you got everything you needed! People seem to really like buying baby stuff. People were very generous with me too. It's a huge help. DH got layed off (again) today Hopefully it's only temporary. It's probably just because of the holidays. Usually construction slows down nobody wants to start a big job. Keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't turn into a 4-month layoff like it did last year. Not sure what we will do about daycare. I will still have to pay for it probably because DH said he will have some days he will have to work here and there, just not steady. Things will be tight $$ wise. He's going to go down to the unemployment office tomorrow morning and file and then we are headed to OH. I was able to get off tomorrow and had already scheduled off Wed and next Mon. So we went from him not knowing if he will be able to get the time off to go to OH to having no work. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #13972 - 11/22/10 07:58 PMgardenergirl, I'm so sorry about your DH's job. That stinks. My dad used to be in the construction business. I know how tough the off seasons can be. Is your DH going to stay with you in OH for the holiday now? PalmettoLadyMessage #13973 - 11/22/10 08:13 PMI have a new found appreciation for what a miracle babies are! I thought the same thing when we were TTC - took us about 6 months. I also thought what a load of crap it is how in high school we are taught "all it takes is once!" (Obviously, this is true but not ALWAYS like they made it seem). How you try so hard to prevent a pregnancy for so many years then one day - WHAM- you are working the opposite way. LOL. Looking back DH and I would have tried months earlier too, in fact it was a big when should we discussion and I pushed to WAIT because I was afraid we would get PG the first month and I had a big trip planned. SAM congratulations! Drama: One way I have met a lot of people and struck up some friendships is through volunteer work. Not sure if this is something you are interested in, I volunteer at church a lot as well as with a child abuse group and a civic organization and have met lots of widely different people and have hit it off with several of them. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13974 - 11/22/10 08:14 PMHi everyone! Had my ultrasound today to get the rest of Cole's heart measurements. His heart looks perfect and everything else is going well. She went ahead and remeasured the fluid in his kidneys to determine if the situation was getting worse and SURPRISE!!!! she found that it has made a "marked improvement". I am so relieved and the doctor is pleased as well. He recommended that I have another u/s done in 6 weeks just to make sure the issue was continuing to resolve itself. He told me that he wouldn't surprised if the entire issue was gone by then based on how much improvement we have seen in 4 weeks. I am so VERY VERY VERY relieved. As much as I was trying not to worry about it, you can't help but think of worst case - especially when your hormones are going nuts and your mommy instinct is trying to kick in. I got a cute profile pic, I'll post once I get home.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:38:15 GMT -5
eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13975 - 11/22/10 08:15 PMDH got layed off (again) today So sorry to hear this!!! I will keep you both in my thoughts! eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13976 - 11/22/10 08:18 PM in fact it was a big when should we discussion and I pushed to WAIT because I was afraid we would get PG the first month Some here....it took us almost a year and a half with fertility drugs at the end. DH is already talking about WHEN to try for another one because of how long it took us this time. I told him that it really does only take ONCE and I don't feel comfortable trying again until we would be THRILLED to be pregnant that exact month...even if it does take us another year. It just wouldn't be responsible to plan for a 6+mo trying period and not be prepared for a happy surprise. ElfQ1015Message #13977 - 11/22/10 08:28 PM also thought what a load of crap it is how in high school we are taught "all it takes is once!" ( I was one of the "all it takes is once" crowd. First egg dropped after birth control = Gwen. I was actually counting on it taking six months like the OB told me it would. Surprise! I peed on four different tests because I could not believe it only took one DTD and I was pregnant! I was so not mentally ready to be pregnant that fast! It all worked out but my first thought was not "Yay I am pregnant!" it was "No &(&^%^*^)& way!" KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #13978 - 11/22/10 08:39 PM also thought what a load of crap it is how in high school we are taught "all it takes is once!" I was one of the "all it takes is once" crowd. Same here. One time and that was it. We started trying shortly after we got married because we assumed it would take a long time. eternal, I'm glad your u/s went well and that everything looks good. Hopefully you can relax a little now. surf-n-sandMessage #13979 - 11/22/10 08:42 PMYay Sam! May you have a wonderful pregnancy! Eternal- That is great news! So happy to hear that your ultrasound showed all positives!! GusitaRenkrMessage #13980 - 11/22/10 08:50 PM also thought what a load of crap it is how in high school we are taught "all it takes is once!" I was one of the "all it takes is once" crowd. Same here. One time and that was it. We started trying shortly after we got married because we assumed it would take a long time. I am going to third this! One month was all it took for me and DH too. One of my close friends is planning on trying in the next year for a baby. She is planning on it taking a few months. I've told her it only took me and DH one month. However, it could take a month, it could take a year. I just told her to make sure she and DH were okay if it happened the first month. I don't understand people who say they weren't trying to get pregnant, but they also weren't preventing. It seems to me that if you aren't preventing, well, then you are trying, even if you aren't doing it like rabbits or charting or whatever. They say they wanted to see what would happen. Seriously, what did they think would happen when two sexually mature people have unprotected sex?! Gardenergirl-I am so sorry to hear about your DH's layoff! Keeping my fingers crossed that it is a short one this time. Eternal-I'm glad to hear Cole is looking good! That's great.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:38:40 GMT -5
gardenergirl0804Message #13981 - 11/22/10 08:51 PMThanks kgb and eternal. I appreciate any good thoughts! Yes, DH will be with me the whole time in OH. He was already cleared for the time off, but now we can leave a day earlier since I was able to get tomorrow off. We'll probably try to leave by mid-afternoon. Hopefully will get into OH at a reasonable hour. Not looking forward to an 11 hour drive. We did put Olivia's bigger car seat in she was so squished in her infant carseat I thought she'd be more comfortable in her Graco MyRide. We tried it out yesterday and she seemed to like it. Oh, another tooth is coming through. Was up most of the night with her. I couldn't figure out what was wrong because last 4 nights she'd slept thru the night and had been the happiest baby. Last night she cried every hour. At 1:30 am I finally gave her some ibuprofen still not knowing the problem and when the ibuprofen came out of the syringe and onto her chin I scooped it with my finger and let her suck on it and felt a tooth on top! I said, oh thats the problem! I was hoping for a little break in between teeth coming in but I guess not! This will be her 3rd. She has 2 on the bottom now and (at least) one up top! boos_momMessage #13982 - 11/22/10 08:52 PMsam - congrats on the BFP! eternal - glad the u/s had great results. kgb - hope the "new/old" position gets accepted with your stipulations. Good luck! gardener - sorry about your DH. Hopefully it'll be short and he can pick up some temp jobs in the meantime. krr - hopefully this next time will be it. It took us nearly a year the first time, but I wasn't charting or anything. The last few months of trying really cemented for me just how much I did want to be a parent. I guess I can honestly tell the kids if they ever asked that they were totally planned (flashing to that scene in "Definitely, Maybe" when the kids have "that" topic at school!). meg - did DH hear about the job? gusita - glad your shower went great! ElfQ1015Message #13983 - 11/22/10 09:02 PM I just told her to make sure she and DH were okay if it happened the first month We were okay with it, I just wasn't really expecting it that fast! My mom got pregnant with me right away too and she had been on birth control for 18 years and this was before the super ultra mega-low dose birth control pills. So I kinda had an idea that if I was anything like my mom I might get pregnant right away. DH was convinced that we'd end up in fertlity treatments because he thought he was more than likely infertile due to things in his past. So we really had no clue when I would get pregnant. I joke to DH that even as an egg this kid knew what she wanted! eh230Message #13984 - 11/22/10 09:49 PMShe has 2 on the bottom now and (at least) one up top! We are teething here too. Like Olivia, Henry now has two on bottom and one on top. I am waiting for the fourth any day now. alpha_yankeeMessage #13985 - 11/22/10 10:01 PMI don't understand people who say they weren't trying to get pregnant, but they also weren't preventing. It seems to me that if you aren't preventing, well, then you are trying, even if you aren't doing it like rabbits or charting or whatever. They say they wanted to see what would happen. Seriously, what did they think would happen when two sexually mature people have unprotected sex?! This was DH and I for almost a decade. I was on BC briefly in my late teens, but it made me really nuts. After we got married, I went off it and we decided that we weren't going to try to have a baby, but we were okay if it happened. Nine years later we decided we wanted to try. We tried for sixth months, then stopped when we had to deal with the death of my ten year old nephew. It was during one of our reaffirm-life-as-a-way-of-dealing-with-death sessions that we got pregnant. I really feel like a higher power was looking out for us and finding a way to comfort our family during that time. It sounds corny, but I often "talk" to my nephew and ask him to look out for my DS. I feel like they have a strong connection and my DS has his own personal guardian angel. On a less sad note, I told my DH in a fun way. I suspected I was pregnant, but wanted to wait until DH's birthday to test. He worked nights and I usually left for work before he got home. When I got a positive test, I put it in a jewelry box, tied a ribbon around it, and put it on the counter with a card that said "Happy Birthday, Daddy!" I went to work and waited for him to call me. He picked that morning to run a bunch of errands, so it was almost noon by the time he found it. With DS#2, he had gone to work (day shift now) when I got the BFP, so I sent him a picture of the positive test on his phone. He ended up calling me on an unrelated topic before he got the message, so I spilled the beans. Now that we have two kids, we are definitely preventing (with an IUD). I wouldn't be upset to get pregnant again, I just don't know if I could handle more kids without making some major lifestyle changes and I want to be able to plan for it. We always knew there was a chance of getting pregnant by not using BC, and now we don't even want that chance. GusitaRenkrMessage #13986 - 11/22/10 11:27 PMWow, Alphayankee, yall had unprotected relations for 10 years, didn't get pregnant, and did right after your nephew died? That is completely amazing and sounds like something that was just meant to be. I don't think it is one bit corny that you talk to your nephew. I hope all the teething babies get some comfort soon. I was going over hospital bag list today, and I wanted to see if you ladies think I am forgetting anything. If I deliver vaginally in the morning, we will be going home the next morning, assuming everything goes well. So, my stay could be as short as 24 hours or as long as 3-4 days if I need a c-section. DH also said he is not leaving the hospital for ANYTHING, so I am taking this into account too. If we forget something or do wind up needing more of something, my MIL can bring it to us. The hospital said they would provide everything we need for the baby (blanket, clothes, diapers, wipes, etc.) and would send us home with the extras too, just to bring a going home outfit for the baby and anything personal we want there for him. I also plan on getting out of the flipping hospital gown as soon as I can, so I am taking this into account too. I do plan on wearing the lovely mesh panties though for my stay. For baby Brett: Going home outfit in newborn size Going home outfit in 0-3 month size Car seat car seat bunting Mittens so he doesn't claw his face Baby book so we can get footprints when they do the birth certificate For DH: 3 full changes of clothes (jeans, shirt, boxers, socks-taking 3 changes in case of c-section or if he gets pooped on or bled on or just spills his drink on himself) 3 pairs of sleep pants Snacks and some sodas Change for hospital vending machine Personal toiletries (deoderant, shampoo, toothbrush, tooth paste, etc.) Cell phone charger For Me: Maternity pants, cami, bra, panties, socks, and shirt to go home in 3 nightgowns Robe Flip flops (in place of slippers) 3 bras 3 pairs of socks Belly binder Laptop w/charger (hospital has WiFi, and I don't go anywhere overnight w/o my laptop!) Camera with extra set of batteries Camcorder w/charger Make up and personal toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, lotion, razor, toothbrush, deoderant, toothpaste, body wash, lip balm, hair brush, contact lens solution) Hair ties Hard candy Insurance card birth certificate worksheet cell phone charger Maxi Pads (hospital provides these, but I have heard horrid things about how scratchy they are) Name and phone number of pediatrician Have I overlooked anything obvious ladies? Anything you are just extremely glad that you took?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:38:53 GMT -5
eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13987 - 11/23/10 12:14 AM Cole - 23.5 weeks EconStudent07Message #13988 - 11/23/10 12:14 AMI think your list looks good, Gusita! Which reminds me...I should finish my bag since the baby could come any day now. I had forgotten about something for footprints, that is a good idea. Econ-How are you feeling this week? I'm doing pretty good, thanks! I'm on Thanksgiving break so there's no classes and I'm off work except that I have to go give someone a make-up quiz tomorrow. I finally finished sewing some curtains that I cut out the fabric for a year ago, and other than that I've been taking it easy. I'm getting a little freaked out that the baby really could come any time. EconStudent07Message #13989 - 11/23/10 12:15 AMeternal, that is a GREAT ultrasound picture! He's such a cutie. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13990 - 11/23/10 12:36 AMEcon - It is SO crazy your baby is almost here!!! I am SO very excited for you! Gusita - NICE LIST!! I think I'm going to copy it so when the time comes I have a starting point. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #13991 - 11/23/10 01:56 AMKRR - Yes, I did test on Saturday and Sunday and they were a BFN. However, I still haven't had the pre-AF symptoms. I thought I was getting them Thursday night, but it never materialized. If I haven't gotten AF or pre-AF symptoms by Thursday, I'll test then. As some else mentioned (sorry that I forgot who), the waiting is hardest part!! Drama - I'm the say way in I really don't have too many friends. Currently, my best friend is my DH. I did have a best friend that we had been friends since middle school, but since she's moved out of state and then I moved out of state, we aren't anymore. Her life has taken a direction that mine didn't take and we really don't have anything in common anymore. Before we moved out of state, we did hang out with my DH's best friend and his wife and always had a good time. Even with moving out of state and they have a 2.5 yo, we do try to get together as much as possible. Actually, we have taken a vacation with them and their parents (have met before) and will be seeing them for New Year's this year. I do get along well with my mom and my MIL so I do talk to them sometimes. When my mom and I lived closer, we did used to bum around sometimes. I do work with 3 other women; however, they all have children, except me, and 2 of them are really good friends and the other is the sister of 1 of them. With the changes in the office in the past few months, we all couldn't go out to lunch, etc. anyway. My DH gets along well with his co-workers; however, only 1 of them is married and doubt we would click with the married couple. Currently, I do volunteer at a cat rescue organization so I do meet people that way; however, no one that I would socialize with afterwards. Thought 1 of my DH's co-workers, we've started going to NFL games and tailgating with his family and friends. However, many of the friends are recently out of college and aren't interested in hanging out with a married couple. I have thought of signing up with meetup.com but haven't done it. I really would like to make some friends closer to where we live as it can get pretty lonely as I generally work and them come home except when I volunteer (1x a week) or decide to run errands. (Sorry if I was rambling. ) Gardener - I'm sorry to read about your DH's layoff. Hopefully, he'll find something soon. eternal - It's great to see the u/s! It seems like yesterday that you posted you were pregnant. I'm so excited for you after your earlier troubles. Cole is going to be one loved baby! Guista - Great list!! I've already copied for when my time does come. azure skyMessage #13992 - 11/23/10 02:02 AMGusita -- add snacks!!!!!! You might be in labor a looong time, and your DH will definitely need fuel, if not you as well. We got trail mix, granola bars, etc., etc. I only wish we'd brought more. You may also want a photo outfit for your LO. This is optional, and perhaps a bit over the top, but here is what I did to prepare us for going to the hospital (on top of packing the bag): I created a little clip board that had a stop watch and a space for DH to write down contractions (I had it all laid out, so he couldn't mess it up). It also had questions we should know: when did the water break? What color was it? I had an additional sheet with the crib notes version of our childbirth class (go to the hospital after having contractions 3 - 5 mins apart for 2 hours), and all the hospital/doctor numbers. On a post-it, I included all the last-minute things we needed to pack: cell phone charger, laptop charger, camera, etc., so nothing would be forgotten. Good luck!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:39:18 GMT -5
Meg - Mommy to AverieMessage #13993 - 11/23/10 03:00 AMKGB, I hope the old job pans out! Gardener, sorry to hear about your DH's layoff. Have a safe trip to OH! Boos, nothing on the job. I'm not expecting to hear anything this week with the holiday. Eternal, glad to hear the good news about Cole. Econ, unfortunately my school does require Calc for an accounting degree. I'm only getting an Associate's (may go back for the Bachelor's one day, but I can't take anymore right now) so a minor isn't an option. Gusita, I think you have it all covered! I guess for me, in the interest of space, I'd leave out the extra 2 pairs of jeans and sleep pants for DH, because you can usually wear those kinds of things more than once without them getting dirty, but if you have the room, go for it! I wanted to fit everything in one piece of luggage (rolling carry-on size) and the diaper bag, so I brought significantly less. Are you planning on BFing? If so, I'd bring a Boppy. The only other thing I might suggest is your own pillow. A lot of people told me to bring my own because the hospital ones aren't that great, but I didn't end up using it. The hospital gave me as many pillows as I wanted and they were fine comfort-wise. In spite of DH's unemployment, we definitely have something to be thankful for this week. We have enough in savings left to pay the December bills but absolutely zip for gas and groceries, so we were going to be turning to the credit cards for that. Last night, someone knocked on our door and by the time I got to the door, no one was there, but whoever it was left an envelope with $200 cash in it. Will never know who it was, but their generosity is making all the difference in us surviving another month. Averie has started clapping and dancing in the last week. Too cute . ladykiMessage #13994 - 11/23/10 04:32 AMSome here....it took us almost a year and a half with fertility drugs at the end. DH is already talking about WHEN to try for another one because of how long it took us this time. Eternal- with our infertility issues we started talking about when try for another one when we were still pregnant with Kiani. With my issue we need to try as soon as possible, we are thinking that maybe when Kiani turns a year, we might go a little crazy and try sooner. My endometriosis has really worn out my ovaries, 2 years ago my RE told me that even though I was 28 yeasr old, according to many blood tests and ultrasounds my ovaries were those of someone 10 yeasr older, he stated that they were starting to give up. Eternal - Glad to know that the u/s went great and that baby Cole is looking good. Gardengilr- sorry to hear about your husband hopefully things pick up soon and everything works out. ladykiMessage #13995 - 11/23/10 04:40 AMMeg- That was so nice, do you have any idea of who could have given you the $200.00? taz157 - 10 wksMessage #13996 - 11/23/10 12:19 PMGardener - I forgot to mention earlier, have a safe trip to Ohio! Meg - That's interesting that calc is needed for an accounting major for an AA. I got an AA in Business Administration and then a BS in Accounting and General Business. I took Calc for my AA, but I think I needed a math class and that was the only one I could do. For my BS, I don't remember calc as a requirement in general. I had to look at the course requirements again, which I think I have somewhere. That was nice of whoever left the $200 for you and your family. Do you have any idea who left it? There still are good people left in the world. Too cute about Averie dancing and clapping. yogiiiMessage #13997 - 11/23/10 12:27 PMI've been wanting to give DS a sippy cup but I keep forgetting to pump on the weekends, or I'm just too lazy to. I asked DH to give him one this morning and he drank all of it except maybe a half oz that was too hard to get out at the end . I've already tried to get DS to eat two meals but he usually only has a bite or two of his second meal, I don't think he's ready yet but I'm going to keep offering it to him, I really want him to fatten up. After avocado we tried oatmeal and green beans. He wasn't a big fan of either unless they were mixed in with avocado and even then he knew something was up. I'm thinking I need to just invest in a food mill and part of the problem is that my food processor isn't getting the green beans fine enough, they were still a little chunky. Does anyone have a food mill they recommend? Can the food mill make stuff fairly fine and smooth? KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #13998 - 11/23/10 01:12 PMAverie has started clapping and dancing in the last week. Too cute .
Aw! Those firsts are always so fun. My Avery loves, loves, loves to dance. As soon as she hears any music she bounces up and down. That was awesome that someone left you guys money. You have a guardian angel! I hope your DH gets good job news soon. Gusita, One other thing you might want to think about is bringing your Boppy pillow (if you have or are getting one). It was really nice to have it at the hospital. My DH is driving me a little nuts this week. He has been so lazy. He hasn't done a thing at home. I went to give Avery her bedtime bottle last night, and there weren't any clean bottles. He knew he used the last clean one yesterday morning, and he didn't even bother to run the dishwasher, which was full. How hard is that?!?! I've been holding my tongue, but if I get home today and that dishwasher hasn't been emptied and there are dirty dishes piled up in the sink, there's gonna be a throw down.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:41:30 GMT -5
eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #13999 - 11/23/10 02:11 PMLast night, someone knocked on our door and by the time I got to the door, no one was there, but whoever it was left an envelope with $200 cash in it. OMG!! That is so amazing!! Sometimes there is just a little glimmer of hope in the world when you need it most! taz - you are right, Cole is DEFINATELY loved. My MIL wrote us a very sweet card and we got it in the mail a couple of days ago talking about how much she already loves Cole and how thankful she is that he and I are doing so well. Everyone in our family already calls him by name and talks about him like he is here. "Oh, next Easter I'm going to be in town to visit with you and Cole" or "Next summer we will be in Hilton Head...I hope you are able to bring Cole down to see us all there." I am very happy that everyone in the family appears to be happy with our name selection. I had a LOT of misses when we were discussing names. ElfQ1015Message #14000 - 11/23/10 02:12 PMThis bothered me this morning, a little kid is coming to daycare from 7:30-5:30 every day so his stepmother, can have a break from him during the day. She openly said this to the daycare workers Why did you marry someone with a child if you wanted nothing to do with the child? I can see maybe one or two days or a few hours a day because every needs some personal time, but that's even longer than my work schedule! I feel bad for the kiddo not so much because of daycare because it is a great daycare, but because apparently his stepmom wants pretty much nothing to do with him. It's women like her that give the rest of us women who use daycare a bad name. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14001 - 11/23/10 02:18 PMWith my issue we need to try as soon as possible, lady ki - I totally understand this!! Luckily, my issue doesn't affect egg quality so I don't need to rush. My concern is just that my eggs don't mature completely to allow me to ovulate due to horomone imbalance. DH and I are really torn because I believe that with Clomid we could pretty much control when we conceive (i.e. decide we want to try again, go ahead and ask for a clomid prescription as soon as we're ready, and conceive again pretty quickly). However, I'm sure you remember the insanity of our attempts with Clomid (my ovaries were 4x normal size, and I had SEVERAL large cysts even on the lowest dosage in one attempt). So, DH really doesn't want to go back to Clomid unless we have to, but we remember all the heartbreaking months of trying that were pointless since I was annovulatory. It almost seems dumb not to utilize the option we KNOW works for us, but at the same time a risk is a risk and I only have one working ovary/fallopian tube now after my surgery. It seems weird to other people that we are discussing this already, but for someone who has gone through fertility issues and your last attempt took up almost as much time as the space you were hoping for between kids (2 years)....it feels like you have to be ready to get started again almost immediately. I told DH we would revisit when Cole is one. Frankly, the fertility battle and pregnancy losses really convinced me that I only want to have one child. DH is really set on having 2, so I am willing to keep the discussion open for a few years until I'm 100% sure. Glad to know I'm not alone in planning for baby 2 before baby 1 is even here yet. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14002 - 11/23/10 02:19 PMI feel bad for the kiddo not so much because of daycare because it is a great daycare, but because apparently his stepmom wants pretty much nothing to do with him That is really sad. If I ever had to remarry for some reason, I would never marry someone who didn't want to love and care for my child. The poor baby. Of course I guess it's just as bad as some of the women on YM who don't seem to even really want their own kids ... eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14003 - 11/23/10 02:21 PMa little kid is coming to daycare from 7:30-5:30 every day so his stepmother, can have a break from him during the day. Wow!! Cole won't even be at daycare this long every day and DH and will both be working full time. So, she just stays home all day and they still pay for daycare too?? WTF? ElfQ1015Message #14004 - 11/23/10 02:48 PMOf course I guess it's just as bad as some of the women on YM who don't seem to even really want their own kids ... I don't know if you were around for Kinetic's backstory that was a couple years ago, but knowing her backstory I can't blame her for how she feels. Her DH pretty much made all the decisions for her and his insistance on remaining in academia trying to snatch a professorship really has hurt them finanically. It's been a real mess for her since she got pregnant. He has been totally unwilling to even try to work with her so she can have what she wants too. He gets his cake and eats it too. There is a lot more to her story than meets the eye. I just don't get marrying someone who you KNOW has a child and then wanting nothing to do with it. Why did you decide to marry someone with a child then? It isn't like you didn't know the child existed. There is probably more to the story than I am aware of. I also wondered how the dad is such a pansy a** that his wife is allowed to not work but he still has to pay for daycare.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:42:04 GMT -5
KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14005 - 11/23/10 03:06 PMI don't know if you were around for Kinetic's backstory that was a couple years ago, but knowing her backstory I can't blame her for how she feels. I wasn't. No one is wrong to feel how they feel. And I'm sorry if she's had things difficult. I typed more, but I think I'll just leave it at that. azure skyMessage #14006 - 11/23/10 03:12 PMYou know what I think is strange? There is a woman who lives in my building who is a SAHM to 2 children: 1 is 3 years old and the other is 8 months old. She sends the 3 yo to ft daycare. Remember, where I live, she is paying about $2k/month for ft daycare. I don't have two children, so I guess I don't understand. But why would you be a SAHM *and* send your kid to daycare? They also have a laundry service and a cleaning service, and her DH is a PhD student who is around quite a bit and has a lot of flexibility with his schedule. One day we had a 5-hour training, and he was very worried because it was a day there was no daycare, and his wife would have to be home with both kids for the 5 hours. Both children seem normal and well behaved (the baby is the most mellow baby I have ever seen), so I really don't get it. But I think she has the sweetest gig imaginable. Plus, they must be loaded--they even get curbside laundry pickup, and they only put the baby in organic everything and little jackets from Patagonia. Anyway, stepping away from my judgmental side: Meg -- that is awesome! Did your DH hear about the job yet? You know what, you have inspired me. My little brother just told me yesterday that his wife is expecting. He just lost his job (and his dog just died unexpectedly...and he is the craziest dog lover), and I know he is under stress. I'm going to send him a present. It won't be as anonymous, but I am sure I can think of a good reason why I need to give him the $$. eh230Message #14007 - 11/23/10 03:15 PMGusita, I second Azure's suggestion to bring snacks. If you plan to breastfeed, you may also want to bring some nipple cream. If you have a birth plan or a list of requests, you might want to bring a couple of copies of that too. e.g. I had a c-section, and I was adamant that my husband be with the baby at all times while I was in recovery. It helped that I had a copy of these sorts of requests to remind DH and the nurses. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14008 - 11/23/10 03:19 PMI must be the only one who didn't think about snacks at all while I was in labor. Food was the last thing on my mind. Even hours after I had Avery, I had very little appetite. The nurses insisted I order something before the kitchen closed, and they put it in the fridge. About 7 hours after labor I nibbled on it, but that was about it. It was a good two days before I really had any real appetite. yogiiiMessage #14009 - 11/23/10 03:22 PMI must be the only one who didn't think about snacks at all while I was in labor I didn't either. By the time I got the the hospital the contractions were so bad there is no way I could have eaten anything. Of course I was only there for 4 hours before I had him. I guess it would be different I showed up but had him 24 hours later. The food at my hospital was actually pretty good though and they had a kitchen on the delivery floor that was stocked with snacks so DH went in there a few times and had stuff. eh230Message #14010 - 11/23/10 03:24 PMDoes anyone have a food mill they recommend? Yogiii, it sounds silly, but you have you considered a magic bullet? It works really well for baby food for Henry and smoothies for me. It has two blades, so I also use it to grind rice and oatmeal for baby cereal. I also use the Beaba babycook. It's awesome but is really expensive (I received it as a gift).
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:42:17 GMT -5
ElfQ1015Message #14011 - 11/23/10 03:37 PMI must be the only one who didn't think about snacks at all while I was in labor. I didn't either. I was already 5 cm dialated and they weren't going to allow me to eat. DH went down to the cafeteria for breakfast with my parents. I also threw up when I got there, I had drank a crapload of water because that's what the OB told me to do Thursday afternoon to prevent BHs. I thought I was having BHs, I must have drank at least 3 liters of water before we finally got to the hospital. No way I was in the mood for food after that. Even hours after I had Avery, I had very little appetite. The nurses insisted I order something before the kitchen closed, and they put it in the fridge. Same here, I had to order lunch. I barely ate it, it wasn't till later that evening that I actually became hungry enough to really eat. I was THIRSTY, I drank a ton of water and juice after birth, but I wasn't much in the mood for eating. GusitaRenkrMessage #14012 - 11/23/10 03:37 PMI don't know if you were around for Kinetic's backstory that was a couple years ago, but knowing her backstory I can't blame her for how she feels. Her DH pretty much made all the decisions for her and his insistance on remaining in academia trying to snatch a professorship really has hurt them finanically. It's been a real mess for her since she got pregnant. He has been totally unwilling to even try to work with her so she can have what she wants too. He gets his cake and eats it too. I don't understand why she puts up with this. Her DH may be an arse, but I think part of the blame is on her too for letting him get away with acting like a jackass for this long. Her goals are just as important as his. Heck, I WANT to stay at home for a few years, but I also WANT to get my CPA. DH would never tell me we couldn't pay for any education I need or childcare so I can study. I wouldn't stay with a man as selfish as her husband sounds, but that's just me. Maybe if she had a husband who actually supported her in her goals, she could get some actual joy out of being a mother. I don't know. Not all people want to be parents, which is fine, but it really saddens me to hear people refer to mothers that like staying home with their kids as brain damaged. Ladies, thank you for the packing suggestions! I appreciate your advice! I will definitely be adding more snacks and the boppy! ElfQ1015Message #14013 - 11/23/10 03:42 PMHer DH may be an arse, but I think part of the blame is on her too for letting him get away with acting like a jackass for this long. I know, I agree with you. I was just highlighting some of the backstory. There is no way I'd let my husband be an arse like that either. Especially since her husband seems to be expecting a professorship to land in his lap. She's mentioned several times he doesn't want to do research, is not interested in publishing papers, hates academia politics. .. Then why the E are you trying to become a professor? You aren't going to make much more than I am as a lab technician if you aren't willing to do all those things, let alone get a tenured professorship. Tenure is all about who can kiss the most butt. It'd be one thing I think if he wanted to go to the tippy top, I'd support my husband in that 100%. No way in hell I'd support him coasting along on his behind making peanuts while I sacrifice everything. ElfQ1015Message #14014 - 11/23/10 03:43 PMand the boppy!
Probbaly a little TMI, but the boppy also makes an excellent hemmorid cushion. I barely used mine for breastfeeding, I sat on it. but it really saddens me to hear people refer to mothers that like staying home with their kids as brain damaged.
Well I'd argue I was already there before I decided to have kids. After all, I did get married. yogiiiMessage #14015 - 11/23/10 04:07 PMeh - thanks for the suggestion, I'll look into it. azure skyMessage #14016 - 11/23/10 04:24 PMI didn't eat any snacks -- threw up as soon as I got there and it took days for me to get over the nausea. But DH definitely needed the snacks. I wouldn't let him leave while I was in labor, and I was in active labor for 32 hours! He needed some nutrition
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:42:42 GMT -5
alpha_yankeeMessage #14017 - 11/23/10 04:29 PMyogii: I find it helps if I add BM or some of the cooking liquid when I am pureeing green beans, peas, or white beans. It helps make a more smooth consistency. I have a manual food mill, but it's kind of a pain to use and clean (I have a Green Sprouts mill). I also have a baby food processor that I got at BRU when I had DS#1. It's kind of a cross between a small food processor and a magic bullet. I have also used my hand blender which has a food processor attachment and a smoothie/milkshake attachment that work well for pureeing baby food. I find that I use the food processor and hand blender when I am making batches of food to freeze in ice cube trays. I use the manual food mill when I just want a single portion right then and there. ElfQ1015Message #14018 - 11/23/10 04:29 PMDH definitely needed the snacks. I wouldn't let him leave while I was in labor DH didn't go to get breakfast till my parents arrived. I am pretty sure if they had not come he would not have eaten anything. He didn't want to leave me alone or miss anything. He commented later it was a good thing he had eaten early because if he had listened to the nurse that it was going to take several hours for the pitocin to kick in he would have missed Gwen being born! I went from 5 cm to 10 cm in an hour. They had nothing ready when the nurse came in to examine me and had to scramble because I was ready to push! EconStudent07Message #14019 - 11/23/10 04:51 PMYou know what I think is strange? There is a woman who lives in my building who is a SAHM to 2 children: 1 is 3 years old and the other is 8 months old. She sends the 3 yo to ft daycare. Remember, where I live, she is paying about $2k/month for ft daycare. I don't have two children, so I guess I don't understand. But why would you be a SAHM *and* send your kid to daycare? They also have a laundry service and a cleaning service, and her DH is a PhD student who is around quite a bit and has a lot of flexibility with his schedule.
I think that some people feel their children need the social interaction of daycare, and that's why they send them even if one of the parents is home. It seems to me that the same thing could be accomplished for free by doing play groups with other SAHMs, but what do I know? Ladies, thank you for the packing suggestions! I appreciate your advice! I will definitely be adding more snacks and the boppy!
Me too! It never occured to me to pack my boppy pillow. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14020 - 11/23/10 04:55 PMI think that some people feel their children need the social interaction of daycare, and that's why they send them even if one of the parents is home. It seems to me that the same thing could be accomplished for free by doing play groups with other SAHMs, but what do I know? I think the same thing. And there are still traditional pre-school programs out there that are a few hours a day for a few days a week to give kids social interaction. I could even see putting a child in daycare for a day or two a week to give you time to run errands, clean, socialize without a little one, but to put a baby in daycare for 14 hours a day, 5 days a week just because you don't want him/her is horrible. ElfQ1015Message #14021 - 11/23/10 05:04 PMMy mom bought me a boppy pillow and brought it to the hospital. It was on my list of things to get that weekend before I went into labor. Lesson learned buy the boppy several months in advance! It seems to me that the same thing could be accomplished for free by doing play groups with other SAHMs, but what do I know? I don't get it either because while Little Hands is one of the cheaper options, it is still $638 a month. Maybe daddy makes a lot of money, I don't know. Personally I would be beyond pissed that I was working to pay for full time daycare no matter what the amount if I had a spouse staying home. Makes you speculate about the marriage, which I know is wrong. However you have to wonder about a dad who is perfectly okay with his wife shuttling his kid off to daycare for 14 hours a day, five days a week so she can have a "break" from him while staying home on your paycheck. This woman has it made! KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14022 - 11/23/10 05:12 PMMaybe daddy makes a lot of money, I don't know. Personally I would be beyond pissed that I was working to pay for full time daycare no matter what the amount if I had a spouse staying home. This woman has it made! In college I babysat for a family. The dad was a lawyer and the wife was a SAHM. They had 5 kids, and she had her 6th right after I graduated. She had it made. I was with their kids about 30 hours a week, and I wasn't their only sitter. I was their main sitter, but they had others to fill in. They had a cleaning service and a lady who did their laundry. I gave the kids dinner almost every night. They used to have fancy dinner parties, and they would have me come to feed the kids, play with them and put them in bed so they didn't disrupt the dinner. I remember once the mom took homemade chicken soup to a friend's sick mother. The friend called and said to me, "Tell K. Thank you so much. I don't know how she does it." I wanted to say, "I know. I take care of her kids. Hazel does the laundry. Cheryl and Barb do all the housework ..." She was a social mom. She did the dinner parties, the PTA events, the nice stuff out in the community and let everyone else take care of the real work at home.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:42:56 GMT -5
GusitaRenkrMessage #14023 - 11/23/10 05:33 PMWell I'd argue I was already there before I decided to have kids. After all, I did get married. LOL Drama! I still watch Scooby Doo and some other cartoons willingly, so I guess I could say the same I just got back from a doctor's appointment, and it looks like I am starting to retain fluid. Blah! Not what I wanted to hear. Blood pressure was good though, and no protein in my urine, so that's good. The doctor said to stay away from carbonated drinks, sodium, drink only water and milk, and to keep my feet up. Do you ladies have any 'tricks' so to speak, that you found helped with swelling and fluid retention? ElfQ1015Message #14024 - 11/23/10 05:39 PMBasically I drank water till I felt like I was going to burst. Seems counter intutitive, but that's pretty much the only "trick" I had. If your legs are swelling make sure you aren't sitting cross legged and that you get up frequently to walk (I was waddling up and down the hallways like a duck in my last trimester). When you get home rest with your legs titled above your pelvis so fluid that has pooled in your feet can move back up into the legs. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14025 - 11/23/10 05:44 PMGusita, I wish I had advice. I started retaining fluid when I was about 22 weeks pregnant and it was horrible. My blood pressure was always great. All of my tests were fine. My legs were so swollen at one appointment that they rushed me for a Doppler on my legs because they thought I had blood clots. From the knees down I was literally squishy like the Pillsbury Doughboy for about 4 months. I couldn't wear any shoes. I drank a ton of water. I took frequent walks. I kept my feet propped up under my desk and at home. Nothing helped. EconStudent07Message #14026 - 11/23/10 05:52 PMGusita, you might be doing it already, but I've heard that sleeping and laying on your left side can reduce swelling because it improves circulation. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I try to do that and I've had minimal to no swelling. EconStudent07Message #14027 - 11/23/10 05:54 PMAlso, make sure that you don't restrict your salt intake. Obviously, you don't want to eat a ton of salt or processed foods with sodium, but eating no salt can cause the same problem. Salting your food to taste provides the best balance. regina24601Message #14028 - 11/23/10 05:56 PMMakes you speculate about the marriage, which I know is wrong. However you have to wonder about a dad who is perfectly okay with his wife shuttling his kid off to daycare for 14 hours a day, five days a week so she can have a "break" from him while staying home on your paycheck. Wow, I gotta be honest - this thread turned a lot more judgmental with this topic than I ever would have expected it to! I specifically come to this thread and not others because it's typically so free from judgment. But I guess nothing's perfect! My sister works FT and makes very good money. Her husband is a SAHD to their 2 y/o daughter. About a year and a half ago, they started sending her to FT daycare for a variety of reasons that make sense for their family. He does not work, but my niece is at daycare for 8 or more hours per day. I guess I'm just thinking that there ALWAYS may be more to the story than meets the eye. I'm sure the daycare workers whisper about my BIL and how he has it "made," living off his wife's paycheck, etc. But that isn't the case at all. But their details and reasons for doing what they do are not anyone's business but their own. So even though this lady is saying, "Oh, I need a break from the kid," there is probably a LOT more to the story than what she is currently sharing. Or maybe I just give people the benefit of the doubt too much.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:43:21 GMT -5
GusitaRenkerMessage #14029 - 11/23/10 06:03 PMIf your legs are swelling make sure you aren't sitting cross legged and that you get up frequently to walk (I was waddling up and down the hallways like a duck in my last trimester). When you get home rest with your legs titled above your pelvis so fluid that has pooled in your feet can move back up into the legs. Yup, it was my legs/ankles/feet that were swollen. I am horrible about sitting with my legs tucked under me or compressed in some way. I'll try to keep them outstretched and up when I'm sitting. Gusita, I wish I had advice. I started retaining fluid when I was about 22 weeks pregnant and it was horrible. My blood pressure was always great. All of my tests were fine. My legs were so swollen at one appointment that they rushed me for a Doppler on my legs because they thought I had blood clots. From the knees down I was literally squishy like the Pillsbury Doughboy for about 4 months. I couldn't wear any shoes. I drank a ton of water. I took frequent walks. I kept my feet propped up under my desk and at home. Nothing helped. Oh lord kgb, that sounds terrible! Yikes. I bet you lost a ton of weight after birth from getting rid of all that fluid. Gusita, you might be doing it already, but I've heard that sleeping and laying on your left side can reduce swelling because it improves circulation. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I try to do that and I've had minimal to no swelling. Thanks Econ, I'll have to make sure I do that. I normally fall asleep on my right side; I need remember that tonight. ElfQ1015Message #14030 - 11/23/10 06:06 PM So even though this lady is saying, "Oh, I need a break from the kid," there is probably a LOT more to the story than what she is currently sharing Maybe. I guess I don't get having a spouse stay home and paying for full time daycare on top of it. Then part of it that I don't get is she is a step-mom, the kid was already part of the package before they got married. If you need 5 days a week off from the kid to me it doesn't make sense to marry someone with a child. I'll freely admit I am speculating, it just bothered me to hear a kid being put in daycare from 7:30-5:30 every single day so the step mom can have a "break". kjshMessage #14031 - 11/23/10 07:03 PMGusita - DH found a massage recommendation in his book (Your pregnancy for the father to be, I think) that takes the edge off my leg swelling. I lay on one side and he starts by alternating rubbing the front and back of my thigh from knee to hip about 10-12 times. Then he moves to the lower leg and uses his knuckles to rub small circles on each side of my lower leg (excluding the shin) from my ankle to my knee (so he does this three times, left side of leg, back of leg, and right side of leg), finally he finishes by rubbing my foot and ankle again, pushing from the toes to the ankle/calf area. Sometimes I ask him to do the process twice if the leg feels particularly swollen. And then I flop over and he does the other leg. It doesn't make it go away but it does seem to make the swelling less, at least temporarily. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14032 - 11/23/10 07:05 PMMaybe. I guess I don't get having a spouse stay home and paying for full time daycare on top of it. Same here. I guess I can imagine a few circumstances where I wouldn't have an issue with my spouse not working AND still needing daycare to watch the kids. 1) If my spouse had a disability or illness that made working difficult and prevented him from interacting with and handling a child FT as well (I can think of a few things from back injury or terminal illness) 2) If we had some other member of our family that required FT assistance and care that prevented him from working or handling the child FT as well (such as if my MIL were very ill and needed someone available 24/7 to assist and care for her) 3) If we had some other item/project in our lives that required a LOT of intense attention, something that was LIKE work but wasn't a job. For example, say that in order to settle the estate of a deceased loved one, their house had to be completely renovated to sell and it would take 6mo's/1 year. If my husband were working on this project FT and couldn't provide childcare at the same time. Those make sense to me because the things that keep him from an actual job would keep him from keeping the child/ren. However, I can't imagine my husband at home, twiddling his thumbs or playing Xbox as a fully functional adult while I was at work all day and the kid(s) were in daycare. Sorry, I just don't have a lot of respect for that. I would have a very difficult time respecting DH as an equal partner if he had the ability to work or care for the children and decided not to do either one while I worked (and missed much wanted time with my child) to support us both. The key here is the idea that he is FULLY CAPABLE, as in there is nothing pressing (physically, or situationally) that prevents him from doing one of those tasks. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14033 - 11/23/10 07:14 PMI bet you lost a ton of weight after birth from getting rid of all that fluid.
I did. I gained 30 pounds while I was pregnant, and I lost 25 within a week of the birth. The one time the nurse weighed me toward the end of the pregnancy, and I said I was pretty sure it was all water. She gave me one of those looks like, "Okay. If you say so, dear." I was pretty careful about how I ate during my pregnancy. I couldn't believe how skinny me feet looked after I had Avery and all the water retention went away. PalmettoLadyMessage #14034 - 11/23/10 07:15 PM"Next summer we will be in Hilton Head...I hope you are able to bring Cole down to see us all there." Eternal: Are you in South Carolina? I'm 30 minutes from Hilton Head. Just curious. Re: DayCare/SAHP: Part time daycare I totally understand. It's probably good for the child and SAHP, something like a M-W-F 1/2 day thing. But, I won't ever understand Full time with a SAHP. The parent is either unable to work/go to school and unable to properly care for and interact with a child OR they simply do not WANT to interact with the child. To me the idea of being a a SAHP is to PARENT your child instead of having a daycare/nanny do it for you. DH nor I can SAHP and I wish one of us could so it's not that I don't respect SAHP.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:43:34 GMT -5
boos_momMessage #14035 - 11/23/10 07:25 PMgusita - you want to bring your nursing cover - if you think you will be having a bunch of visitors at the hospital. Also, you could try getting those compression hosiery/tights to see if it will help reduce the swelling. I had swelling with #1. I looked like I had hobbit feet, so gross. But I was too cheap to buy the hosiery. eternal - great u/s pic of Cole! meg - that's amazing that someone just gave you $200. I hope you do get some good news soon! taz - we confirmed pregnancy with #1 via the bloodtest. We couldn't get one with a stick. But I was also throwing up all the time, but didn't think I was pregnant since the tests were negative. Good luck! yogiii - glad the solids are going well. Sometimes it just depends on the consistency of the food, so it takes experimentation to hit the right combination that DS will like. I was on maternity leave for 6 months with #2, and I sent #1 to preschool the whole time. I wasn't in any shape to take care of the both of them for the first 6-8 weeks, and I wouldn't want to lose the space so we'd have to pay to keep it, and #2 was just a more difficult baby. Not that you would know it by looking at him b/c I tried to take him out at the optimal times or have people over when he was in a good mood. But, I'd be pretty much exhausted all day b/c he did not nap well. I think preschool is a good thing (at least the preschools we've used have been wonderful) and would send my kids from 3 years old if I was a SAHM. If someone can afford to continue to SAH while sending the kids to preschool, it's not my business. Frankly, I'd do it if we could swing it financially -- there's a ton of things I want to get done at home that is impossible to do with the kids around. Then the weekends would really be able to do some fun things as a family than trying to squish everything (chores, errands, cleaning, cooking) in together. I don't love them any less, it's just that they really enjoy the time in preschool and it shows in how they've developed. But, I would probably do 8am - 3 pm vs. 7am - 5 pm. ETA: most of the preschools here don't offer MWF programs. So, it'd just be M-F and putting them in for only certain days, you'd still pay the full-time rate. regina24601Message #14036 - 11/23/10 07:33 PMIf someone can afford to continue to SAH while sending the kids to preschool, it's not my business. boos_mom and thank you. I'm going to shut up now, but I still can't get over the judgmental sides that have crept out on this board in response to this topic. But, whatevs. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14037 - 11/23/10 07:36 PMI wasn't in any shape to take care of the both of them for the first 6-8 weeks, and I wouldn't want to lose the space so we'd have to pay to keep it, and #2 was just a more difficult baby. ok...I typed a lot more but I will edit and say that this doesn't raise any flags to me. I guess this topic is quickly coming to a close. Palmetto - Yep I'm in Columbia! So neat we are near eachother. Meg - Mommy to AverieMessage #14038 - 11/23/10 07:41 PMGusita, I only got cankles once my entire pregnancy (don't kill me ) but they were HUGE. I sat on the couch, piled up pillows a good 18 inches high and put my feet up on that. They were back to normal by the end of the night. Luckily, I didn't have water retention issues, but my added weight gain was all baby. I left the hospital a couple pounds lighter than when I came in and by my 6 week checkup, I was 15 pounds under pre-preg weight (I attribute that to the BFing though, since I certainly wasn't doing any exercise, LOL). Daycare for SAHPs - Once Averie is older (and we have money ), I wouldn't mind doing a PT daycare thing a couple days a week for the socialization but I couldn't imagine putting her in FT care! Of course there are days that Averie is beyond exasperating and I wish I could get away, but 99.9% of the time, I'm glad to be home with her. We'll see how I do when baby #2 comes along. Haha. Speaking of, I'm late (don't know how late, but I'm pretty sure it's been more than 3 weeks since my last period ended, and I'm like clockwork). TMI - It would be darn near an immaculate conception if I was pg (since we've only DTD once in the last month, and he wore protection except during foreplay) - END TMI. And of course it could be stress (and it most likely is) but I can't shake the nervousness. I'll have to get a test next time we're out. PalmettoLadyMessage #14039 - 11/23/10 07:42 PMmost of the preschools here don't offer MWF programs. So, it'd just be M-F and putting them in for only certain days, you'd still pay the full-time rate I think this is definitely regional too. Here you see LOTS of MWF, Tu/Th, 1/2 day option programs, etc. Also, Pre-School for a social/learning environment for a 3 YO is much different IMO than all day care for a baby/toddler. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14040 - 11/23/10 07:47 PMIf someone can afford to continue to SAH while sending the kids to preschool, it's not my business. boos_mom and thank you. I'm going to shut up now, but I still can't get over the judgmental sides that have crept out on this board in response to this topic. But, whatevs. First of all, I don't have a problem with a SAHM sending kids to pre-school or even to daycare for a few days a week. I think the socialization and education they get is important. I can imagine how a new mom with a toddler and a difficult baby could need a break. I guess what makes me frustrated is that I really want to be a SAHM, but we can't afford it. I'm doing everything I can to get a new job to put me closer to home to give me more hours with my child. So when I hear about a baby with at least 3 parents (mom, dad and stepmom) being in daycare 14 hours a day for 5 days a week when one of them doesn't work, it does upset me. Especially if it truly is a case where this baby has a stepmother who just doesn't want to be bothered. If there's a legitimate reason why she can't care for the child, that's different. If that makes me judgmental, then so be it.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:43:59 GMT -5
boos_momMessage #14041 - 11/23/10 07:48 PMregina - With any other relationship, it's always good to have time apart and other interests/activities. But, somehow with kids, you are a terrible parent if you don't want to be with your kids 24/7. I'm away from my husband more than I am my kids (odd schedule). I think the idea of the U.S. ideal of the family unit has been skewed so that people think that parents are supposed to be everything to the kids, when history and other cultures reinforce "it takes a village"..... I am not capable of providing absolutely everything to my kids, they learn from the world, not just me, but I do provide the unconditional love, guidance and support. This topic has been interesting..... azure skyMessage #14042 - 11/23/10 07:49 PMI know my post was judgmental. Sorry! I will admit jealousy, but ultimately it is their financial resources, their child, their decision....not MY business, and not my excuse to be snarky. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14043 - 11/23/10 08:01 PMBut, somehow with kids, you are a terrible parent if you don't want to be with your kids 24/7. boos, I hope you don't think I was saying that. Because that is not what I think at all. Parents need a break. And kids need a break too. It's good for them to get some independence. regina24601Message #14044 - 11/23/10 08:03 PMWith any other relationship, it's always good to have time apart and other interests/activities. But, somehow with kids, you are a terrible parent if you don't want to be with your kids 24/7. Has anyone here ever read anything by Ayelet Waldman? She wrote a piece a few years ago (I think it was an op/ed piece in the NY Times), and she also wrote a book called Bad Mother. I must admit, I didn't care for all of her anecdotes in her book, but what's interesting about her is that in the inital NYT piece, she wrote about how, if she were absolutely forced to quantify it, she had to admit that she loved her husband more than she loved her kids. It was fascinating, and it ENRAGED people nationwide. Many, many women (and probably men, too) look down on a mother if her child(ren) are not 100% the focus of her life (emotionally - not just talking about needing to be a SAHM here). But, when I really thought about it, it makes perfect sense that a woman would love her husband more than her child. Logically, you've known him longer, you chose him to create a bond and a family with, etc. And wouldn't it make a strong family if the love between the parents was THAT strong? I'm not saying every woman should feel that way (I don't even know if I will - I have 7 weeks before I become a mother), but I certainly hope that I love my DH as much as, if not more than, I love my children. Okay, so I guess I didn't shut up on the topic. But I do think it makes for an interesting discussion. ETA: I found the [ www.nytimes.com/2005/03/27/fashion/27love.html] link to the NYT article if anyone's interested. boos_momMessage #14045 - 11/23/10 08:07 PMkgb - I think what you want for your family is great, and you're working to get there. What bugs me are the stories of tragic deaths or mothers who abuse their kids/doing drugs and the kids get hurt/are born with medical problems b/c of the mother's drug use. azure - Maybe it is basically jealousy that is at the root of it. But we never know what it's like to be on that other side until we get there. and re: the stepmother, maybe the kid can't stand the stepmother.... so the kid is happier in preschool. If my stepchild couldn't stand me and behaved in such a manner, I'd probably send the kid to preschool, even if I didn't work. PalmettoLadyMessage #14046 - 11/23/10 08:10 PMRegina, loving your spouse more than your children is actually not a new concept. It is discussed in the Bible, how a woman should first consider her spouse then her children. She shouldn't elevate her children above her spouse. I have no clue if I will feel this way I just remember it being discussed in a Bible study I read once.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:44:13 GMT -5
KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14047 - 11/23/10 08:13 PMBut, when I really thought about it, it makes perfect sense that a woman would love her husband more than her child. Logically, you've known him longer, you chose him to create a bond and a family with, etc. And wouldn't it make a strong family if the love between the parents was THAT strong? Interesting. I don't know that I could say I love my husband or my daughter more because they're very different kinds of love. A strong marriage and a deep love between the parents is essential to having a strong and happy family. And yes, I chose to marry my husband. But I carried my baby inside of me. I brought her into this world. That's a connection and a love that I can't even describe. boos_momMessage #14048 - 11/23/10 08:14 PMActually, when push comes to shove, I will always love my kids more than my husband. Sad, but, I'm a kid of divorce. So, I know marriages end, but my love for my kids will never end. So, that's an interesting NYT article. I'll have to go look for it. My co-worker and I had a discussion a while ago about her FIL saying that he would rather lose a child than his wife. His thought was he could make more kids. I don't know if men of this generation feel differently than that. I know that I would die for my kids, and if forced to choose between DH and the kids, I'd have to pick having the kids live. I just hope that the kids don't lose both parents. That's a worry of mine. kgb - I didn't think you were saying that, it just seems there is a mindset 'out there', not yours. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14049 - 11/23/10 08:19 PMI just hope that kids don't lose both parents. That's a worry of mine.
We need to do our will. Who to name as guardians has been a bit of a sticking point. I think we've agreed on my parents, at least for now. While all of our family are wonderful and would love Avery, there are issues that make most of them less than ideal guardians at this point in time. Honestly, if my best friend and her husband lived closer to our families, that's probably who we would name. But if something happened to us, I want Avery to be very close (physically and emotionally) to all of our family. boos_momMessage #14050 - 11/23/10 08:38 PMBut if something happened to us, I want Avery to be very close (physically and emotionally) to all of our family. I think that's why it'd be hard for us to pick a non-relative to be guardians. So, we've kept the choice to family (although we haven't actually done the wills!!!!!). We ended up picking my sibling. My mother is a little too whimsical, but makes a great grandma! KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14051 - 11/23/10 08:41 PMThe other night in the middle of the night the stupid fire siren went off 3 times between 2:15 and 2:45 a.m. Avery slept through it. I did not. So I put the tv on. Raising Helen was on. Have you seen it? At the end when the sisters are reading the letter their deceased sister left about how she chose Helen to be her children's guardian made me cry. I always thought it was sweet and sad, but now that I'm a mom I really get it. boos_momMessage #14052 - 11/23/10 08:56 PMYeah, I think I saw snippets of it, and I did tear up at that part when they read the letter. I am such a sap when it comes to movies, tv commercials, shows with those kinds of things, now that I have kids. Heck I was sniffling a lot at the end of Toy Story 3 when he's leaving the toys with the little girl. I was projecting to the time when I'd have to let my 'babies' grow up and go out on their own.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:44:38 GMT -5
KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14053 - 11/23/10 09:01 PMI read the NYT article. If that writer is a bad mom, then I guess I'm a bad wife. It sounds bad, but if something were to happen to DH, even though I would be devastated, I could handle it better than if I were to lose Avery. Maybe it's partly due to the fact that I'm on my own a lot now. We work opposite schedules. God forbid DH would cut back on hunting and fishing during his time off. (A huge sticking point for me every year during this time of the year.) I spend far more time with Avery than I do DH, though my limited time with him isn't by choice. My one neighbor, who is a single mom, always jokes that she feels like I'm one too. And sometimes I do feel like one. Apparently this is what is boils down to. Either you're a good mom and a bad wife or a bad mom and a good wife. Meg - Mommy to AverieMessage #14054 - 11/23/10 09:15 PMEither you're a good mom and a bad wife or a bad mom and a good wife. This is so ridiculous though! (Not saying you are ridiculous - just that I hate when other people (again, not you) make it an either/or). You can be both. I agree 100% with what you said earlier about your love for your husband and Avery being different. Couldn't have said it better. Losing either my husband or my child would be a devastating loss. It is my worst fear in the entire world. regina24601Message #14055 - 11/23/10 09:18 PMIf that writer is a bad mom, then I guess I'm a bad wife. It sounds bad, but if something were to happen to DH, even though I would be devastated, I could handle it better than if I were to lose Avery. kgb - I think that's valid. I also think it's valid that Waldman feels the opposite of you. I guess my big issue is that society as a whole understands your position much more than it understands Waldman's (and possibly mine). Our culture puts so much pressure on moms to center their entire lives around their kids. And for many moms, that's the way it is, and I think that's just fine. But I also have a problem with stigmatizing someone (just as the author was stigmatized) as a "bad mommy" because she does not fit that mold. I don't know. I had a mom whose entire life was centered around her kids. It contributed to her and my dad divorcing, and it made for a very, very emotionally unhealthy middle-aged woman after her kids flew the coop. So I think I may be trying too hard to go in the opposite direction. kjshMessage #14056 - 11/23/10 09:22 PMWell I'm late to the conversation (as usual) but I will say that I like the ladies on this thread because even though people clearly have some strong opinions, the conversation never degenerated into name calling or logging off in a huff (at least that I was able to detect). I'm really excited to experience my feelings for babyH when he arrives. I can't imagine loving someone as much and as intensely as I love my husband but at the same time I can't imagine parent's perspective of the bond between a parent and a child. It will be so interesting to experience and explore these feelings as they develop. azure skyMessage #14057 - 11/23/10 09:24 PMEither you're a good mom and a bad wife or a bad mom and a good wife. Heavy stuff today, ladies! Sometimes I feel bad at both; other times it is either. Overall, I think I am a better mom than wife. I am always thinking about LO, getting things for LO, etc., etc. I never just pick something up for DH because I think he'd like it. Boos -- you are absolutely right that we do not know what something is like just because of the way things present on the outside. I also don't advocate for being with children 100% of the time--I have my child in daycare and am not afraid of babysitters--but I have certainly seen that mindset. It blows my mind when I see women on bbc who are against sleep training because they think you shouldn't have a child if you aren't willing to be with it all day and all night, always catering to the needs of the child. Ultimately, I don't think that is very healthy. regina24601Message #14058 - 11/23/10 10:00 PMI will say that I like the ladies on this thread because even though people clearly have some strong opinions, the conversation never degenerated into name calling or logging off in a huff Amen, kjsh! It's what keeps me coming back to this board (and steering WAY clear of others!)
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:44:51 GMT -5
GusitaRenkerMessage #14059 - 11/24/10 12:43 AMKjsh-Thank you for the massage instructions! That sounds heavenly, and the fact that it cuts down on swelling is awesome. Now I have a legitimate excuse as to why I need a massage! Boosmom-Thanks, I added nursing cover to the list. I think we will probably have quite a few visitors. Poor DH has a list of people to call or text when Brett gets here. Thank goodness for text messaging. Silly question, but are the compression hosiery the kind that come up to the knees or full hosiery? Regina-Truthfully, it makes perfect sense to me for a woman to love her husband more than her kids. I mean, her husband is the person she will be spending the rest of her life with. Her obligation to raise the kids only lasts for 18 years; not that I think you stop being a mother once a kid turns 18, but you know what I mean. They are a lot more independent then, but of course still need guidance. I know in 18 years, I don’t want to realize that my relationship with my husband has deteriorated to the point that I don’t even recognize it. I want to be a great mother to my children, but I want to be an even better wife to my DH, if that makes sense. Preschool-If I am still staying home/working from home when Brett gets 3, he will definitely be going to preschool. However, there are plenty of places around here that do MWF, TTH, TWTH, you get the idea. Lots of flexible options and for an affordable price. I am a firm believer that preschool can be a great benefit for a child. Also, if DH and I stick with tentative plans, I will be having the next child when Brett is 3ish. I’m sure I will appreciate some one on one time with our second child. Guardianship-I have no clue about this and don’t even like to think of it. Irresponsible I know. My mom has the best financial resources to raise Brett, but she’s kind of crazy/volatile sometimes. DH’s mom is kind of crazy and definitely could not afford to raise Brett. Both our dads are in even worse situations. I don’t know. I just don’t know. boos_momMessage #14060 - 11/24/10 01:04 AMgusita - I think the compression hosiery can be footed or footless but usually goes all the way up to your waist, I think. Also, for the guardians, we have taken out decent life insurance (term), so if both of us die, the guardians really wouldn't have to be worried about financial resources. But I am thinking to separate the guardian of the child from the guardian of the trust $ (or even a banking institution). GusitaRenkrMessage #14061 - 11/24/10 01:10 AMThanks Boosmom! I forgot all about our life insurance. If DH and I both died, whoever raises the children would have a good sum to help raise them. I like the idea of having an outside party, like a bank, be the guardian of the trust. None of our family members have been wise with their money, so it definitely makes sense to have an outside party manage that part. I just have no clue who would be the actual guardian. I guess I need to be talking with DH about this, just in case. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14062 - 11/24/10 01:13 AMI have a really hard time thinking about gaurdianship for Cole! DH's parents have the resources but not the home life I would want. My parents (dad and stepmom) have more of the values I want Cole to have but wouldn't expect him to go to college or encourage him heavily to do so which is a deal breaker for me (plus they don't have the resources really). DH and I both have a sister, but both of our sisters are older than us and failed to launch (both live at home with parents/grandparent). I have a great brother who would be a great dad, but his taste in women is horrid and his current wife is abusive (he's working on divorce number 2). My cousins are not the kind of people I would want to leave my son with, and DH's cousins have more of the family life we like but they are all 6 - 14 hrs away from our immediate family. I worry about assigning gaurdianship to non-family because I want Cole to have a close relationship with his family and I would worry that our friends may not have that much motivation to work toward that. Our family lives 2 hours away from us, and is scattered around that area. I think it would put a lot of distance between Cole and our family. It is a big headache to even think about! azure skyMessage #14063 - 11/24/10 03:24 AMEternal--we didn't want to rely on anyone else to have the financial resources needed to raise a child, so DH and I got a big life insurance policy with a very clear outline of how it could be spent. If we did both pass, we would leave our LO a $1 million policy. A big chunk would go out immediately, in case anyone had to move to a bigger house, etc., with a chunk each year through school. Another big chunk for college, and the rest would go to him at age 30 to spend however he pleases. Knowing this makes it easier for me. Many people set it up so that one side of the family gets the child and the other controls the money. This keeps them working together. OK, I'll let the dead horse die after this, but I just want to clarify that the mom I was talking about does NOT send her daughter to preschool--which I think is fantastic for any child, regardless of setting--but to 8:00 am to 5:45 pm daycare. There are preschools around, although maybe she couldn't get in one, who knows. No excuse for judging others, but I am incredibly pro-preschool, so I had to clarify. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14064 - 11/24/10 12:03 PMBoos (I think) - When I tested over the weekend, I was testing before AF was due but it was due in 1 to 2 days. 2 days after AF was expected, still no AF or pre-AF symptoms. I will be testing tomorrow to see. Either way, I wouldn't be going to the doctor until after Jan 1st as I am starting a new health insurance then, which seems much better than what I have now (which I do have health insurance, just a higher deductible). In looking at the info for the new health insurance, they won't accept any pre-existing conditions (I think pregnancy would count ) if it is diagnosed within 90 days before starting coverage. I figure if I don't go in until after Jan 1st, then it wasn't diagnosed within 90 days even though I would be due August 1st or 2nd (depends on the online calculator I look at and if it lets me put in my average cycle length).
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:45:16 GMT -5
yogiiiMessage #14065 - 11/24/10 12:04 PMI never commented on "that" topic which is now dead but I think kjsh had a very good point. Sometimes people on the board have strong opinions that err on the side of judgemental or are a bit judgemental but in the end everyone is civil, agrees to disagree and probably learns something so ...nice job ladies! We need to get life insurance, thanks for reminding me. Is 20 year term the way to go? azure - you can hotmail at yogiii.1 eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14066 - 11/24/10 12:52 PMazure - you are right about the financial resources. We will be leaving a half million in life insurance plus any assets we have at the time. However, when I say "resources" I don't just mean the money....it is a whole life style and set of expectations that come from a lifetime of being poor. If left with my family, Cole would not even be expected to graduate highschool. I am the first in my family to do so. It is very difficult for me because I am SUCH a black sheep in my family. I am the first to grad highschool, the first to attempt and graduate college, the first to own a home that isn't a trailer (not that there is anything wrong with that). My entire family thinks my little slice of suburbia is a "mansion". We live in a LCOL area so I'm talking about a $130K house...not a McMansion!! I want all those things and more for any children I have, and my family just wouldn't know how to go about making that a priority. DH and I will probably name a set of friends or his cousins in Indiana...and we will just have to hope that if the worst happened they would be willing to go the extra mile to keep our family involved. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14067 - 11/24/10 01:42 PMAvery fell and bit her top lip last night. She bit her bottom lip last week when DH was with her, but it wasn't bad. Last night was worse. It bled so much. I was so glad it happened while we were at my MIL's. Both my MIL and SIL were very calm. I freak out about injury-type bleeding, and I guess it's especially bad when it's my baby bleeding. At first we couldn't even tell where in her mouth she was hurt. There was just a lot of blood, and she wouldn't let us look. Then her top lip started to swell big time. It was so sad looking. When she gets hurt she gets mad, too. She cried forever, and she wouldn't let us put ice on it or anything. She was up nice and early at 5:20 this morning ( ), and the swelling has gone down a lot today but she's got a scab on her lip. ElfQ1015Message #14068 - 11/24/10 03:27 PMtaz make sure you really read the pre-existing condition information. When my mom was pregnant with me it did not count as 90 days after you showed up to the doctor, it was 90 days after you CONCIEVED. Huge difference! Her OB fudged her conception date so I was born "two weeks early" according to her charts. You don't want any surprises when pregnant when it comes to your health insurance because by then it is too late and you really don't want to have to stress about it while pregnant either. Gwen had her WBV. She is in the 17% percentile for height, 11% for weight and 56% for head size! She's going to be like me and have a heck of a time finding hats! She cried after her shots but not near as bad as she did after her 2 month WBV. Once she found her thumb she only gave out the occassional guilt inducing wail and that was it. She was very cranky last night though so we gave her a bit of baby Tylenol and she went right to sleep. sbcaligirlMessage #14069 - 11/24/10 07:18 PMTaz - you should also check to see if the pre-existing clause applies if you have current coverage. In many cases, if you've had continuous coverage without an interruption of more than 63 days then there is no pre-existing clause. After you leave your old insurer, you'll typically get a proof/certificate of coverage (I can't remember exactly what it's called) that shows your dates of the prior policy. When I switched policies, I got one and then got something from my new policy stating since I didn't have any lapse in coverage I had no pre-existing conditions. Obviously all policies are different and cover pregnancy differently, but I've known quite a few ladies who were in their 2nd trimester and switched without any issues so it can be done. I think you're very smart though to figure it all out BEFORE the fact . boos_momMessage #14070 - 11/24/10 07:55 PMtaz - I thought someone had mentioned that pregnancy had been eliminated as one of those "pre-existing conditions" that could be excluded from coverage. This is for medical insurance. For disability insurance, that does not necessarily apply. azure - that's an interesting thought (split $ and child between the 2 sides) but it would never work with us. MIL would probably not be acting in the best interest of the kids, just hold the purse strings in order to get what she wants which isn't always reasonable. (She has always made little comments when we have to leave to go to see other family. Yes, I am sorry I am not an orphan, but I have family that wants to see the kids too.) eternal - you should actually discuss the possibility of guardianship with the people you are selecting. And discuss your hopes and expectations would be in terms of keeping in touch with bio family. If they say they wouldn't be able to meet those expectations, then you actually shouldn't select them and look for someone else. That may save you some unnecessary worry. And people's situations change, sometimes who you selected before made sense but they now have 4 kids and maybe not able to provide as much support for your children as they could have before. It is such a hard decision, but it can always change. Maybe your brother will meet a great woman and get (and stay) married. yogiii - it depends on your needs. We have a mortgage, so we got a 30 year term to go with the mortgage, even though the last 10 years may be minimal principle left. I figured that we should hopefully be in pretty good shape for retirement and have college done by then once the 30 years are up. kgb - #2 had a bloody nose yesterday from bumping another child at preschool. But it was still bleeding a little when I picked him up and after bath. Hope Avery feels better. drama - glad the visit went well! Is Gwen 4 months old already??!!!! Hope everyone has a great thanksgiving! I haven't decided if I'll be at work on Friday, guess it depends on the sales....
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:45:30 GMT -5
emerald04Message #14071 - 11/24/10 08:36 PMyogii - we did 30 year term policies when DS was born. We knew we were going to try for more, and we knew we wanted it to carry all of our kids through college age, so 20 wouldn't quite do it. she wrote about how, if she were absolutely forced to quantify it, she had to admit that she loved her husband more than she loved her kids. Oh, I think its a totally different type of love, so in a way its comparing apples and oranges. My kids rely on me and need me. DH doesn't need me. We've chosen to be together. Our kids are an expression of us, and yet their own people. Its fabulous to watch them develop. I really don't think I could say I loved any one of them more than another. Question for those who have potty trained boys - DS has developed an amazing ability to hold it. Hours on end. It makes me worry that he's going to give himself a UTI or something along those lines. Is that even possible? How long is too long? DS apparently doesn't like to use the potty at school. Why, I have no idea. He has used it at times. Happy Thanksgiving to all! DS did a project at school where he said what he was thankful for - first he named his baby sister. Then his baby sister again, and again. Finally he added Mommy and Daddy to the mix, and then cars and trains. Too sweet, and funny. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14072 - 11/24/10 08:42 PMQuestion for those who have potty trained boys - DS has developed an amazing ability to hold it. emerald, I don't have a potty trained boy, but my brother took my nephew, who is 6, to the doctor last month because he was going frequently but little tiny amounts each time. They were worried he had an infection. It turns out he's just too busy to take the time to completely empty his bladder. Could your DS just be too busy to be bothered? I have heard from other moms - it does seem mostly of boys - where their kids are just too busy to go so they hold it forever. Of course it also seems to lead to accidents. Or, in the case of my one friend's little boy, he was so desperate to go at a park that he just dropped his pants and went, right there in front of everyone! eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14073 - 11/24/10 08:48 PMboos - oh of course we are planning to discuss with the people in question!! Our problem is that we are crossing everyone off the list before we even get that far LOL I want to be sure we would want them to be guardians BEFORE asking them and talking to them about it. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14074 - 11/24/10 09:21 PMboos, I hope your LO feels better too. Bloody noses hurt! eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14075 - 11/24/10 09:25 PMEveryone, I wanted to tell you all Happy Thanksgiving!! I won't be around tomorrow since we'll be traveling to family. I hope everyone has a GREAT holiday! kjshMessage #14076 - 11/24/10 11:11 PMHappy Thanksgiving all! I am grateful to you all for being a fabulous group of women who can reassure, teach, comfort, and celebrate each other.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:45:55 GMT -5
taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14077 - 11/24/10 11:19 PMFor members age 19 or over this plan imposes a pre-existing condition exclusion, which may be waived in some circumstances and may not be applicable to you. A pre-existing condition exclusion means that if you have a medical condition coming to this plan, you may have to wait a certain period of time before the plan will provide coverage for that condition. This exclusion applies only to conditions for which medical advice, diagnosis, care, or treatment was recommended or received or for which the individual took prescribed drugs within 90 days. Generally, this period ends the day before your coverage becomes effective. However, if you were in a waiting period for coverage, 90 days ends on the day before the waiting period begins. The exclusion period, if applicable, may last up to 365 days from your first day of coverage, or, if you were in a waiting period, from the first day of your waiting period. If you had prior coverage creditable coverage within 90 days immediately before the date you enrolled under this plan, then the pre-existing conditions exclusion in your plan, if any, will be waived. Health Insurance - Above is from the information we were provided when our health insurance options were provided the options. From what I can understand, the last line would apply to me as I've had continuous health insurance coverage within 90 days before the date I'm enrolled (Jan 1st is day 1). Boys & Potty Training - I've also hear that boys tend to hold when they are having. My DH can remember doing that when he was kid. Often, his parents has to "remind" him to go. boos - Sorry to hear your LO has a bloody nose. I got them all the time (it seemed) when I kid and they stink. Everyone - Have a great Thanksgiving with your friends and/or family! Tomorrow I will be POAS. AF was due Monday and still no sign of her impeding arrival. I generally get a "sign" 2 days before she arrives. I tested this past Saturday and Sunday and they were both a BFN. The last time that happened before, AF was here the next day; however, that's not happening now. The funny thing is my boss's wife told me today that she had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Who knows, I could be? She also said that she should be told before my mom is due to her dream. What she doesn't know that if I am, she won't be told until after the New Year (i.e., after 1st trimester). sbcaligirlMessage #14078 - 11/24/10 11:32 PMI had my u/s and everything looks good. I measured 9 wks and 1 day which is pretty close to the LMP measurement of 9 wks 5 days so we're just going off of LMP for now. I got to see the heartbeat even though the quality wasn't great since it was a tummy u/s but that's ok. I'm totally ecstatic that there's one baby in there and that everything looks good so far. I have another appt in two weeks with the midwife and then a regular schedule after that. Hopefully the m/s will start getting better and I'll be able to brush my teeth right when I wake up rather than an hour later. Happy Thanksgiving to All!! regina24601Message #14079 - 11/25/10 12:17 AMsbcali - Yay! Congrats on a great ultrasound! (And I'm glad you're having a singleton - I'm sure you are too!) taz - I'm switching insurance policies starting January 1. I'm going to a better (lower deductible) policy, and it's all through my employer. When I called about changing, I was also concerned about how it would all play out since it would be mid-pregnancy. They assured me, and it sounds like your policy is the same, that the non-coverage of pre-existing conditions like pregnancy is waived if you've had continuous coverage. So, since mine was all through my employer and the insurance company has all of my old information on file, there will be no interruption. I'm glad to hear you're getting a better policy! My switch will be just in time for the birth, so all the expensive stuff at the hospital will go on the new policy. (I double checked that with the insurance company, too). Hope you get a big happy plus sign tomorrow!! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'll be chilling at home watching the Macy's parade, eating sausage balls, and watching my DH cook us a feast. It's just the two of us this year since we both have to work on Friday (family is 13 hours away) but it should be nice. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14080 - 11/25/10 12:28 AMsb - Great news on the u/s! regina - I still have the same employer, just a different insurance company as of Jan 1st. With the new insurance, the deductible is much lower and still get to see my old doctor. Tomorrow, we'll be chillin' at home. For dinner, we are going to 1 of neighbor's houses. My DH has to work on Friday while I have the day off. My mom is 4 hours away, but decided not to come as she's been to our many times this year so we'll catch up for Christmas. Last weekend, we celebrated with my DH's family (those that showed) and my dad. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14081 - 11/25/10 12:56 PMWell, I tested this morning. Both tests I used were the $ store variety. The 1st test had a very faint line while the 2nd had none (due to the 1st test). Therefore, I have no idea!!!!!! Still no sign of AF so I'm going to wait until Saturday to test again.... This is getting nerve racking... If I am, I don't feel like it. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14082 - 11/26/10 06:16 PMOkay, I couldn't be patient today and ended up testing with a digital HPT and the results were... BFP!!!!!!! DH is working today so I ended up driving to his office to tell him. My DH isn't very emotional at times, he was happy, scared, excited, all the normal emotions when you find out. Needless to say, I share the same as him. My EDD is 8/1/11 or 8/2/11 depending on the calendar you look at.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:46:08 GMT -5
boos_momMessage #14083 - 11/26/10 06:56 PMtaz - Congrats on the BFP! sbcali - glad the u/s went great! I am at work today. I did manage to swing by the mall for quickie p/u of a few gifts before going to work. It was pretty crowded! KRR627Message #14084 - 11/26/10 07:03 PMTaz - Congrats! What a great Thanksgiving present! Confession: I've been feeling a little depressed this week because I was so excited about a possible BFP when AF was late. Then when AF came I was so annoyed and sad. I really wanted to tell everyone to buy baby stuff for us for Christmas since we don't need / want much else. So on Sunday when AF came, I bought a bottle of wine and had a glass each night, guilt free. I figured why not enjoy it when I can? I rarely drink alcohol, but I've been craving it a lot this month. So I indulged and feel a little better. Luckily nobody asked about it yesterday when I was with my family. I don't know if I could have answered non-sarcastically or without getting upset. I thought of that after I teased my younger brother about having a girlfriend. He could have snapped back with an answer, but he didn't, lucky me. Lesson learned for next time! Sam814 - 11wksMessage #14085 - 11/26/10 08:27 PM Taz - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you!!!! boos_momMessage #14086 - 11/26/10 08:38 PMkrr - I hope you'll feel not so sad soon. The disappointment is tough, especially when you think you might be. Hang in there! Sending you some Christmas baby dust! taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14087 - 11/26/10 09:14 PMkrr - I'm sorry. As with boos, I'm sending you some Christmas baby dust! Sam - Thanks! eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14088 - 11/26/10 10:25 PMTaz - congrats!! How exciting for you! KRR - sending baby dust your way!! Enjoy a few drinks with no guilt while you can.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:46:33 GMT -5
regina24601Message #14089 - 11/27/10 12:12 AMtaz - Congratulations!! August may feel far away right now, but it'll be here before you know it! boos_mom - I had to work today, too. Not fun. But it was super quiet, so I got a lot of stuff done at least. Have a good weekend, everyone! PalmettoLadyMessage #14090 - 11/27/10 02:10 AMTaz: Congratulations!!!! We had a great meal (s) yesterday for Thanksgiving. All of mine and DH's family live here so we do lunch with DH's people and dinner with mine, so you basically eat non stop all day long. Mmm. So good. Today I had a BBQ with some of MY dad's relatives in from out of town for the day then I put up all of my Christmas decorations! yay me! I just LOVE Christmas. DH works retails so he had to go in super early this AM, he said it was crazy the people, camped out outside and lines to check out almost to the back of the store. When he got home we got our Christmas tree! I don't go back to work until Monday so I'm pretty excited about that, plan to scratch some things off my "do before baby" list. Like purge my closet in the master so DH can have the Mr. side instead of me taking up them both . Right now he keeps his clothes in office/baby future room. I hope everyone is having an awesome Holiday weekend! jenna30-Message #14091 - 11/27/10 03:55 PMCongrats, taz. I just finished my last week of work. Due date is in about 10 days. I've been laying out our stuff for the hospital. It seems like the time flew by. eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14092 - 11/27/10 04:17 PMjenna - Looking forward to seeing your birth story!! I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy journey seems to be flying once I hit 16 weeks. I am so excited for all the new birthdays coming up! jenna30-Message #14093 - 11/27/10 05:17 PMThanks, eternal... The first 12 weeks or so seemed to take forever. Also was worried during genetic testing phase. The last 1/2 of the second tri seemed to pass quickly. I'm sure he will be here before I know it. sbcaligirlMessage #14094 - 11/27/10 06:46 PMHope everyone had an enjoyable holiday . Congrats Taz! Sorry you didn't get a Thanksgiving positive KR but sending you extra baby dust and totally agree you should take advantage of a good glass of wine if you want! Rant Warning I've had a rough week. I am so frustrated with DH I swear my head is going to explode. He has been virtually useless since school started and has done almost nothing around the house. He had a bunch of huge grant applications due in Oct/Nov so I cut him some MAJOR slack since he was also doing a TAship and a research position but it has been several weeks since the apps were due and he still isn't helping. Our house is an absolute DISASTER because I'm having a rough time with the 1st trimester. It has gotten so bad that DD is literally having to climb over things to get to her toys. I feel so horrible about it but I can barely manage to get her dressed and fed in addition to my work. I've begged and pleaded for help, I've screamed and yelled for help, I've cried and nothing seems to work. He'll occasionally pick a few things up in the living room but it really just amounts to moving the stuff to other rooms rather than actually putting it away. Then to top things off, he's suddenly decided he can tell me what I'm allowed to buy and what I'm not. We've had these discussions before and he knows it really makes me angry when he's selectively involved. I'm all for joint discussions and decisions regarding money but he wants nothing to do with the budget - determining it, managing it, or paying bills. I told him that is fine, that I will handle it all but that I don't think its fair that he gets to tell me what we can/can't afford since he knows nothing about it. Yesterday, I wanted to buy an in-car dvd player for my trips to the family and he said we didn't need it (with no real rationale or explanation) and I couldn't use joint money for it. I was PO'd to say the least and this was after another argument about moving in September earlier in the day which didn't help. Today I asked him if he could clean some while I'm working and so far 3 hours later, he hasn't moved from his spot on the couch with is computer. I swear I may lose my mind before this week is over!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:46:47 GMT -5
eternal sunshine - 29wksMessage #14095 - 11/27/10 09:55 PMI've had a rough week. I am so sorry you are having a rough time! It sounds like you've done everything to try and tell him your feelings so I'm not sure what advice I can offer. Just wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts. Hope you get some relaxation time soon! asceptictwoMessage #14096 - 11/27/10 10:49 PMtrustme sbcaligirl I can so relate..... I get tired of working 40 - 60 hours, figuring out what to make for dinner, doing the laundry, dishes, etc that when I want help with clean up; the hubby comes up with excuses. I just moved a bunch of stuff out of my office into the garage. If he wants the garage cleaned, he's going to have to find a place for the junk out there. anne81Message #14097 - 11/28/10 12:36 AMCongrats sbcali and taz!! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday - we had two of the families from our playgroup over and it was such a blast to have children in the house on a holiday. sbcaligirl - hugs. I'm so sorry your DH isn't being more supportive. ladykiMessage #14098 - 11/28/10 01:08 AMHello Ladies, I have not been online for the past 3 days, I hope that all off you had a great Thanksgiving with your babies, Dh's and the babies that are still in the tummies. My first Thanksgiving with Kiani was great. We always go with my family for a little while then to DH 's family for a little while. I really do not like going to his side of the family because the atmosphere is very drepressing ( Husband's grandma has lost all of her children). Anyways this year was different, Kiani was in a very good mood and she was just smiling and "baby talking alot", it just seemed like she brought some light in to that house and put everyone in a great mood. We came home a little bit early cause , I decided that I wanted to leave to Walmart at 10:30pm. Their sales were going to start at midnight and I wanted to make sure that I would get everthing that I wanted. I know, I might be crazy, but I love to see and feel the crazyness that comes with Black Friday, lol. Well I got everything that I wanted, even a 32" flat screen for $198.00. Wow, so now I have almost 10 pages that I need to read in order to catch up to all of you all. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14099 - 11/28/10 01:30 AMsb - I'm sorry DH is a being a pain. Hopefully, he gets a clue and it gets better. ladyki - I'm glad that Kiani brought some joy to your DH's family's house this year. Great job on the 32' TV for $198! Nothing new to report here. I have a convertible and the stereo in mutes periodically due to a bad switch for the convertible up-and-down sensor. In certain positions when the top is going up and down, the stereo mutes. It's been doing that for a few months, maybe a year or more. The same thing happened in my mom's car (same car, just different year), but her's was covered under warranty while mine happened afterward. The part costs $20 while it can be fixed in the shop for $230. Needless to say, we don't want to spend $230 to fix. It only does it periodically. I was going to try to fix it myself, but couldn't figure out how to get one of the pieces off I needed. Anyway, he's been saying that he's going to fix it. I'm still waiting for that happen. In August, he got upset with me when I said in jest, that my dad could fix it while he was in town for a week with nothing to do. Needless to say, my DH didn't like that. Here we are in November and it's still not fixed. I just want the stupid thing fixed. ladykiMessage #14100 - 11/28/10 11:09 PMHi ladies, I am a little late to the convesartion on guardianship, but when it comes to that, Dh and I have talked about it but really need to put it in writing. We have agreed that my sister is the best person to take care of Kiani if something were to happen to us. My mom and his mom are a little crazy and still think that they are teenagers. They still go out bars alot, lol. He has 3 brothers, but none of them are doing good, the oldest drinks alot and I am pretty sure that he is also doing drugs. Another one of his brothers has his girlfriend pregnant, and has a previous child that he does not even take care of. My sister has four children, one of them is already in college and even though she struggles like anyone else does, in our eyes she is just the best person to take care of Kiani.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:47:11 GMT -5
ladykiMessage #14101 - 11/28/10 11:18 PMOkay, I couldn't be patient today and ended up testing with a digital HPT and the results were... BFP!!!!!!!
Taz- Congrats on the BFP. I got my BFP last year right after Thanksgivig too, it was the best news ever and just something that would be awesome to share with the rest of the family during the holidays. I gave birth to Kiani on 8/1/10. KRR- I hope you get your BFP soon, sending baby dust your way. taz157 - 10 wksMessage #14102 - 11/29/10 12:24 PMLadyki - Thanks! Well, my DH did attempt to fix my car yesterday; however, I got the wrong part. I've gotta call the Toyota dealership today to see if they have the part in stock or they have to order it. Also, my car is partially torn apart (back passenger side) so it should get fixed this week as I don't like a partial torn about car. I hope everyone had a great weekend and a great week ahead. PalmettoLadyMessage #14103 - 11/29/10 01:57 PMTaz: My Dh is the same way. I've found if we sit down and set a "do it by" date and then agree if YOU don't do it by then- I'm (paying someone, letting my dad, etc) it gets done. ElfQ1015Message #14104 - 11/29/10 02:28 PMThanksgiving went well here. Gwen made it much more entertaining than it usually is. My dad let her suck on some turkey. She really enjoyed it apparently (I couldn't see from my spot at the table). She can't really have solids yet, but sucking turkey juice didn't seem to do her any harm. I let my SIL take pictures of her at DH's family's Thanksgiving. A little too Anne Geddes for my taste, but Gwen took to it like a duck to water, the kid had a blast getting her photos taken. Informed her she cannot be a model, she has to be an engineer, nurse or accoutant! She "helped" my mom decorate her tree on Friday and then she "helped" me decorate our tree yesterday. She was babbling away all day yesterday so I joked that she was giving me decorating tips, I'd hold up an ornament and go "Here?" "How about here?" She loved it and I gave her a couple of my soft stuffed ornaments to play with. Gave her a candy cane yesterday and boy did she like that! Figured out pretty fast how to get it into her mouth. . .and hair. .. and ear. .. .and nose. .. and all over her clothes. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14105 - 11/29/10 02:28 PMHi ladies! I hope everyone had a great weekend. Ours wasn't quite like I had planned. I ended up with a stomach flu. And Avery started teething and wasn't sleeping and was all snotty and gross. I ended up having to cancel all of our weekend plans, so I didn't get to meet up with gardenergirl and Olivia. I was so disappointed. Avery and I pretty much spent the weekend in our jammies. It was good to get some rest, but still stunk that we had to "make it through" Thanksgiving Day instead of really enjoying it. sbcaligirl, Hugs! I know what it's like. My DH is supposed to come home from his hunting trip tomorrow night. He's off for a few days after that, and I fully expect him to do some stuff around the house. He might be going back to the camp again over the weekend. It depends on whether or not he gets a deer before tomorrow night. I hope he doesn't. I'd rather he stay home and spend the weekend with me and Avery. kjshMessage #14106 - 11/29/10 03:26 PMKRR - sorry about AF. TTC can definitely be an emotional ride - enjoy the wine and I'll send you baby dust too. KGB - sorry you and Avery were sick but hopefully this will fulfill your 'sick during the holidays' slot and you guys will have smooth sailing out through Christmas... sbcali - Yay for a good u/s, but major boos to your DH. If I was able to travel, I'd come over and give him a swift kick in the rear for you. Taz - Congratulations! Ladyki - how wonderful that Kiani brought some light to what was normally a less-than-happy experience. She sounds like such a treat! DQ - Gwen definitely seems to be a character and so far doesn't seem to be shy at all. The candy cane image is too funny. Oh criminy I'm probably missing people that I wanted to respond/comment on - yay pregnancy brain. We had a fabulous 4-day weekend here - I felt pretty good, got a ton done, and even managed to stay up until midnight playing board games with friends. DH took some pictures on Friday at 35w6d and it's amazing how a little change in posture can take you from HUGE to merely BIG. HUGE!!!! Merely big Happy Monday and happy almost December!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:47:25 GMT -5
ElfQ1015Message #14107 - 11/29/10 03:43 PMGwen definitely seems to be a character and so far doesn't seem to be shy at all I know! So different from her mother. My mom commented that she is amazed at how close Gwen lets people get to her, she said most kids she knows would be screaming their heads off with so many people getting in their faces. Gwen has a very small personal space bubble, again totally different from mom! emerald04Message #14108 - 11/29/10 03:45 PMhey - an actual money related question - does anyone know of any good cyber monday deals for kids? DH and I are going shopping this week for the kids in person, but of course I love the convenience of having something shipped to my house, and especially if I can get it at a good deal. Although I have to say, when people ask me what DD needs at 8 months old, I really don't have an answer. I had to buy her winter clothes a month ago, and she is mostly content with DS's leftover baby toys. It's much easier to buy for DS - anything with wheels on it or related to Cars or Thomas. He is getting very excited for Christmas. He'll be 3 in a couple of weeks, and this year Santa, christmas decorations, outside lights - all of it makes him happy. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14109 - 11/29/10 03:53 PMMy mom commented that she is amazed at how close Gwen lets people get to her, she said most kids she knows would be screaming their heads off with so many people getting in their faces. Avery is the same way. She's not strange with people at all. She sat on Santa Clause's lap just like she sees him every day of the week. She wasn't phased at all. She'll let anyone hold her. We're going to have our hands full. She is in to everything now. And she's starting to be able to climb furniture on her own. Last night she was toddling around, and I heard this scraping sound in the kitchen. I went in and there was Avery moving a kitchen chair. She pulled it out from the table, turned it around and pushed it against the counter!! The chair is a little too high for her to climb yet, but it won't be long. The chairs aren't super heavy, but I couldn't believe she was strong enough to move them already. jmrs318Message #14110 - 11/29/10 04:45 PMKGB - So sorry you were sick for the holiday. Taz - Congratulations! I got my BFP last year the day before Thanksgiving and had Abbie on 7/23. Time flies! Abbie was so good at Thanksgiving. We went to my parents' house with my sisters and nephews and she didn't cry once during the 2 days we were there. My sisters do not believe that she ever cries and that we are the luckiest parents ever. One of my nephews was/is a handful so it really isn't fair to compare her to him. I think she might have been over stimulated because she was sooo fussy on Saturday. She calmed down on Sunday and we decorated the Christmas tree together and took pictures for our Christmas cards. ladykiMessage #14111 - 11/29/10 04:59 PMGave her a candy cane yesterday and boy did she like that! Figured out pretty fast how to get it into her mouth. . .and hair. .. and ear. .. .and nose. .. and all over her clothes. That is so cute. Kiani will be 4 moths old this week. I decided to start her on a little bit of cereal this morning. I just made it kind of watery. I only gave her a few baby teaspoons, she seemed to like it. She opened her mouth every time she would see the spoon coming to her. I have her her bottle right after that and she finished it all and when right to sleep. I went to check on her right now and she opened her eyes, looked at me and smiled and went back to sleep. KJSH- Ahh 35 weeks, you are almost there. Congrats, pretty soon you will be holding your baby. GusitaRenkrMessage #14112 - 11/29/10 05:31 PMKjsh-You look great! I had to giggle because I have certain shirts that just make me look like a whale (and garner a lot of 'Are you sure you aren't having twins?' comments ). Ah, you just gotta love people sometimes. You're so close to getting to hold your baby! Emerald-Walmart has some killer deals on toys, and I have heard Amazon has some good ones too. I am down to one gift to buy. Now I just need to work on wrapping the present mountain. Taz-Congrats on your BFP! Sorry on your DH's procrastination on your car! I would do like Palmetto suggested and set a 'do by' date before you can call someone else to do it. Sbcali-Ugh, sorry your DH is being such a brat. The first trimester is so draining, and I know not having help/support makes it even worse. Would he fare better with a todo list? I know some guys do better when every single thing that they need to do is spelled out for them. Huge hugs to you, and I hope your morning sickness starts getting better. kgb-Your Avery sounds just like my little brother when we were kids. He learned to manipulate furniture to get into things at a very young age. My poor mom had to put the locks on every cabinet in the house, even the ones at the very top. He was a little Monkey! I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving! Ours was very nice, just kind of hectic over the weekend trying to get all the Christmas decorations up and the tree up. It's all done though, and now our house is a winter wonderland! I'm still having a good deal of swelling in my fingers and feet, but I wasn't able to keep them propped up as much as I would have liked. My fingers just ache so bad around the joints, and it feels like the skin is stretched to the max over them. Blah. I'm definitely looking more and more forward to January 13th every day! Econ-Any baby progress over the holiday weekend?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:47:50 GMT -5
EconStudent07Message #14113 - 11/29/10 05:53 PMEcon-Any baby progress over the holiday weekend? Nope, nothing new! My DH was SO sure that she would be here by Thanksgiving, but that did not happen. Now it's just a big waiting game...I am finishing up papers today and tomorrow, and after I have those done, I won't be too stressed about the idea of her coming. I still have two finals left, but they are both take home and I'll have about 2 weeks to do both of them. My midwife said that she'll probably check me at my appointment tomorrow to see how dilated and effaced I am. She doesn't do the check until 38 weeks because the release of prostaglandins can bring on labor. I'm not sure I want her to do the check because I don't know if I'm ready to go into labor. Plus it's kind of painful for me, and I don't really see the point in it... I don't know, I guess I'll decide tomorrow. I seem to have caught a cold that I'd like to get rid of before the baby is born! Kjsh-You look great! I had to giggle because I have certain shirts that just make me look like a whale (and garner a lot of 'Are you sure you aren't having twins?' comments ). Ah, you just gotta love people sometimes. It is crazy how rude people can be. I was almost glad I couldn't go to my family Thanksgiving because I would have heard so many "you're huge, I was never that big, are you sure you should be eating that" comments. Kjsh, you do look great! Taz, congrats on the BFP! That's so exciting!! The Reflector - WIRMessage #14114 - 11/29/10 06:09 PMHighlights (or should I say lowlights?) of Thanksgiving this year: DH's aunt lavishing attention on DD1 and completely ignoring DD2. Hopefully DD2 is not old enough yet to notice. FIL's girlfriend telling the girls that ginger ale is "good for them because it has ginger in it" and giving them as much as they can possibly hold in their stomachs. DH staring pointedly at me every time the sugared up girls started whining or throwing a tantrum because despite the fact that I'm also taking care of a teething baby I am responsible for the girls' behavior and therefore should do something about it. All 3 kids were sick, DD1 with strep, DD2 and DS with a cold/virus. Which I now have. And the icing on the cake - FIL GIVES MY 5 MONTH OLD SON COCA COLA! When I ask him to please, PLEASE not do that, FIL just giggles, his girlfriend proclaims that her parents gave her soda as a baby and she turned out just fine, and DH just sits there. Saying nothing. There is a lot more, but you get the idea. I am SO glad I don't have to go through that for another year! FIL and his GF made noise about us coming at Christmas but I'm telling DH that we'll go over my dead body. Hopefully my head clears up soon, I'm really wanting to let the drama go and get into the Christmas spirit! The Reflector - WIRMessage #14115 - 11/29/10 06:11 PMTaz - congrats! KRR - keeping my fingers crossed for next time! Everyone else - I hope your Thanksgiving was better than mine! ElfQ1015Message #14116 - 11/29/10 07:07 PM DH staring pointedly at me every time the sugared up girls started whining or throwing a tantrum because despite the fact that I'm also taking care of a teething baby I am responsible for the girls' behavior and therefore should do something about it I want to know why your DH is still living. The moment we got any time alone mine would be buried in the backyard. FIL GIVES MY 5 MONTH OLD SON COCA COLA! When I ask him to please, PLEASE not do that, FIL just giggles, his girlfriend proclaims that her parents gave her soda as a baby and she turned out just fine, and DH just sits there. FIL and his girlfriend would be buried right next to him. yogiiiMessage #14117 - 11/29/10 07:08 PMkjsh - you look great reflector - for lack of a better phrase, OMG. I'm really sorry. I hope you get to rest soon, somehow. taz - congrats econ - I don't blame you. The checks are pretty pointless. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14118 - 11/29/10 07:10 PMReflector, I'm so sorry you had a bad holiday. I would have flipped out if someone had given my baby pop! Ours was better than yours, though not great since I had the stomach flu and Avery is getting teeth. Our families were at least helpful. Question for you ladies with toddlers: Do you give them vitamins? If so, at what age did you start? I was just talking with a co-worker who has a toddler and an infant and she said she started giving her oldest vitamins as soon as he was off of formula. The pediatrician has never said anything to me about giving Avery vitamins. Should I be?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:48:04 GMT -5
EconStudent07Message #14119 - 11/29/10 07:15 PMReflector, sorry your Thanksgiving was so bad! eek! econ - I don't blame you. The checks are pretty pointless. That's what I thought...I have not heard a compelling reason yet for having it done. From what I understand, I can be dilated 3 cm for a month or I can go from 1 cm to having a baby within a day's time, and the same with how thinned my cervix is. It doesn't seem like it is really an accurate predictor at all of when I will go into labor. I'll talk to my midwife about it of course, but if she doesn't have a good reason for doing it, I think I'll refuse. Usually she is good about not pushing things I'm not comfortable with, and I just don't see the point of going through the discomfort and possibility of infection for no reason. EconStudent07Message #14120 - 11/29/10 07:17 PMkgb, I obviously don't have a toddler, but this is my thought - The point of a multivitamin is to compensate for nutritional deficiencies. It sounds like you feed Avery a good, varied diet. As long as she is getting veggies and fruits in different colors, you are probably meeting all of her nutritional needs. I don't think a multivitamin is necessary unless the diet is lacking. ElfQ1015Message #14121 - 11/29/10 07:25 PMThe pediatrician has never said anything to me about giving Avery vitamins. Should I be? Unless she is lacking something I would not worry about it. They tried to force newborn vitamin drops on me at the hospital because the ped-on-call said that babies Gwen's size often "fail to thrive" (whatever the hell that means) when they are breastfed. My pediatrician who has been practicing for 30 years told me to chuck it out the window. He said he's never met a baby who was "failing to thrive" that would require the need for vitamin drops, if they were failing, vitamin drops weren't going to save the day. Vitamins don't really do much. We pee most of it out because it's synthetic and does not get digested. While vitamins certainly do not hurt anything (unless you are someone who thinks if one vitamin a day is good, twenty must be even better), they don't really do all that much for people/children who have decent diets. yogiiiMessage #14122 - 11/29/10 07:27 PMecon - My first check was when I was about 39.5 weeks. I was soft and not dialated. I had a regular appt the day after my due date and I thought that morning that I was having contractions. I was 2 cm. I had DS 4 hours later. ElfQ1015Message #14123 - 11/29/10 07:36 PMMy first check was at 36 weeks and I was already 3 cm and 60% effaced. I stayed 3 cm till week 39. I'd been having REALLY bad Braxton Hicks that afternoon to the point of where they hooked me up to a monitor, they checked but I was still 3 cm. Went to the hospital at midnight and I was 5 cm and 100% effaced so they admitted me. I gave birth to Gwen that Friday afternoon. alpha_yankeeMessage #14124 - 11/29/10 07:41 PMDH staring pointedly at me every time the sugared up girls started whining or throwing a tantrum because despite the fact that I'm also taking care of a teething baby I am responsible for the girls' behavior and therefore should do something about it. My DH used to do this with DS#1, just more vocally. We were visiting his parents for a major holiday with lots of other family staying there. Every time DS would misbehave, DH would look at me and say that he couldn't believe I was letting him get away with the behavior. I let it slide a few times, thinking I would speak to him privately, but it kept getting worse. I nipped it in the bud by telling him in front of the entire family that I wasn't aware that I had become a single parent solely responsible for the behavior of my child. DH looked confused for a moment, then the light bulb went off and he sheepishly chuckled along with the rest of the family.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:48:28 GMT -5
PalmettoLadyMessage #14125 - 11/29/10 07:49 PMReflector: Wow, you had a heck of a Thanksgiving. At least you have "done your duty" and get 12 months until time rolls around again. Hope you start feeling better, and the Little Ones. Would he fare better with a todo list? I know some guys do better when every single thing that they need to do is spelled out for them. I laughed at this. My DH is one of the those guys. Yesterday I had about 3 things I wanted him to do. He gets out of the shower and comes downstairs (I think to do task one.) and says "I don't see my list where it normally is?", I said honey all you need to do is X,Y,Z. He actually says "Can you write it out, I like to check it off as I go?" Sure thing... When he has a lot I make detailed lists (like item 1, with pats A,B,C) I do it because I'm super type A, but apparently he's come to like it. Too weird. The Reflector - WIRMessage #14126 - 11/29/10 07:50 PMI want to know why your DH is still living. The moment we got any time alone mine would be buried in the backyard. DH really is a good guy almost all of the time. I guess being around his dad sometimes reverts him back to childhood, trying to win his dad's approval at the expense of all others. FWIW he did apologize later - for some of it anyway. FIL and his girlfriend would be buried right next to him. The GF is a marked improvement over his ex-wife who was completely insane and once held me against my will while I was pregnant with DD1. FIL is only still breathing because of my undying love for DH and the fact that I don't want my kids growing up with a mom in the slammer. Vitamins - from what I understand, it is better to get your vitamins through a balanced diet, our bodies don't absorb synthetic vitamins the same way and there has been a recent study showing that they can slightly increase risk for colon cancer. Usually I sneer at that kind of stuff, but my dad had colon cancer so I figure I have an increased risk. I took my prenatals when I was pregnant but other than that I don't take them. Sometimes toddlers do not eat a balanced diet so vitamins might be called for, but if they're getting a good mix of fruits and veggies you're probably fine. The only one they're really pushing now is Vitamin D because we're not exposed to the sun enough to get adequate amounts anymore and since Vitamin D helps with the absorption of Calcium it might be good to take a supplement. I'm looking that one myself. I don't give DS his vitamins because he vomits them up every time. If the ped thinks that he needs them for a real reason - not just because that's what you're supposed to do - I can put up with the after effects. Otherwise, no way. GusitaRenkerMessage #14127 - 11/29/10 07:58 PMMy DH used to do this with DS#1, just more vocally. We were visiting his parents for a major holiday with lots of other family staying there. Every time DS would misbehave, DH would look at me and say that he couldn't believe I was letting him get away with the behavior. I let it slide a few times, thinking I would speak to him privately, but it kept getting worse. I nipped it in the bud by telling him in front of the entire family that I wasn't aware that I had become a single parent solely responsible for the behavior of my child. DH looked confused for a moment, then the light bulb went off and he sheepishly chuckled along with the rest of the family. Good for you alphayankee! DH seems to think I am going to be a softee when it comes to discipline based on how I let our cats and dog behave Sorry babe, but a human baby is much different than our pets! r Reflector-Ugh, your Thanksgiving sounds like something out of a holiday horror story. Seriously, who in their right mind gives a five month old soda?! I hope your cold gets better. From what I understand, I can be dilated 3 cm for a month or I can go from 1 cm to having a baby within a day's time, and the same with how thinned my cervix is Econ, this is exactly what my doctor told me the other week. She said she has seen women literally walk around for 2 or 3 weeks at 3 centimeters. I think mine starts checks at 37 or 38 weeks? I can't remember. I kind of want to get it done just so I can see where I am (even though it really doesn't mean anything), but I also don't want to give myself a false sense of hope either. I hope your cold goes away before the little one comes. DH and I have been passing the same one back and forth for a couple weeks now. Did anyone use one of those birthing balls (really just an exercise ball)? At my hospital tour the other week, the nurse was saying that they were helpful during labor to help open up the pelvis or something of that nature. I already have one, so I would just have to deflate it and stick it in the suitcase, but I was just wondering if anyone had personally found them to be useful. EconStudent07Message #14128 - 11/29/10 08:07 PMGusita, thanks for letting me know that's what your doctor told you - I'm glad I didn't have that wrong. I can understand wanting to get them done to see where you are at. I think I'm scared to get it done in part because it means pregnancy is almost over! I know I'll think it's a million times better when my little girl is actually here, but I just really am having a hard time accepting that I'm at the end, and I'm kind of scared about what is to come! My midwife said the birthing balls are really good. Did the nurse mention if the hospital has any? My hospital keeps some there for women to use in labor. I get really uncomfortable whenever I am in bed for very long, so I'm planning to spend a lot of my labor on one of the balls. emerald04Message #14129 - 11/29/10 08:10 PMkgb - we have started giving our 3 year old vitamins because he has turned into the pickiest eater on the planet. We didn't worry about it until he absolutely refused all vegetables and even got selective with fruits. We do give the baby the Vitamin D drops, our pedi recommended that this time around, but that wasn't on the radar with DS. Exclusively BF babies are when they recommend that it seems. FYI to all - Carters online is 20% off today with free S&H, tomorrow is 15% off and then Wednesday is 10% off I think. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14130 - 11/29/10 08:11 PMI think I'm scared to get it done in part because it means pregnancy is almost over! I know I'll think it's a million times better when my little girl is actually here, but I just really am having a hard time accepting that I'm at the end, and I'm kind of scared about what is to come!
I can absolutely understand that. I think it's natural to be a little afraid. I hated those stupid checks towards the end of my pregnancy. And I was one of those women who one week wasn't dilated at all. The next week I was 1cm dilated. The doctor said I could have the baby in 12 hours or it could be another week or more (This was three days before my due date.) I went to work that day, and it turned out I was in real labor. I went to the hospital that night.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:48:42 GMT -5
ElfQ1015Message #14131 - 11/29/10 08:16 PMWord of warning, when they do a cervical check, especially for the first time, you will bleed. They didn't warn me and it totally freaked me out because for the entire pregnancy I had been told blood was BAD, so to see it on my underwear really upset me. My hospital keeps some there for women to use in labor. I get really uncomfortable whenever I am in bed for very long, so I'm planning to spend a lot of my labor on one of the balls.
I wouldn't count on it. It's a good idea to have an idea of what you want to try, but your plans may not work out, you may find the birthing ball totally miserable. I wanted to use the ball, squat, etc do all this stuff I THOUGHT would work for me. .. I ended up sitting on the floor of the delivery room because it was cool. No one could budge me until they came in to do the epidural I requested. The doctors and nurses all had to talk to me underneath the delivery table (I couldn't go much further than that with the external monitors on). EconStudent07Message #14132 - 11/29/10 08:20 PMI think it's natural to be a little afraid. Thank you kgb, it's good to know that I'm not crazy! I AM really excited about meeting my baby, but I'm just kind of scared about the transition process. Word of warning, when they do a cervical check, especially for the first time, you will bleed. They didn't warn me and it totally freaked me out because for the entire pregnancy I had been told blood was BAD, so to see it on my underwear really upset me. I had one done at 35 weeks because I was having contractions (they stopped, obviously), and I didn't bleed, but the check HURT. I can deal with pain, but I don't see the point of dealing with unnecessary pain. GusitaRenkerMessage #14133 - 11/29/10 08:22 PMEcon, I know, I can't believe pregnancy is really almost over! It seems like it has gone by so fast. The nurse said that the hospital doesn't have any because they haven't figured out a good way to clean and sterilize them between women, but that she definitely recommended it (I got mine at Walmart though for like $7, so it seems like they could have a stash and just give one to the women who want to use one. I think my hospital is just being cheap. Oh well, at least they have private rooms) I know I am much more comfortable when I am sitting up in some way and sitting on the ball now just seems to relieve so much of the pain in my back and stomach area. GusitaRenkerMessage #14134 - 11/29/10 08:28 PMWord of warning, when they do a cervical check, especially for the first time, you will bleed. They didn't warn me and it totally freaked me out because for the entire pregnancy I had been told blood was BAD, so to see it on my underwear really upset me. I totally freaked out Friday night because when I went to the bathroom, there was a ton of blood on the toilet paper. I ran out screaming and crying to DH that something was wrong. He had a 'look' and it turns out I cut myself earlier in the shower when I was shaving down there and didn't notice it because I can't see at all down there anymore. Only 6.5 more weeks of blind shaving to go! ElfQ1015Message #14135 - 11/29/10 08:30 PMHe had a 'look' and it turns out I cut myself earlier in the shower when I was shaving down there and didn't notice it because I can't see at all down there anymore. Only 6.5 more weeks of blind shaving to go!
I gave up when I could no longer see, I got tired of trying to manuever so I could see and somehow manage to not kill myself at the same time. If I can't see it, then I can ignore it and pretend it's not there. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14136 - 11/29/10 08:31 PMThank you kgb, it's good to know that I'm not crazy! You are not crazy. It's all fear of the unknown. You have no idea what labor and delivery is going to be like for you. And, let's face it, even a really easy L&D is still a really big deal. Not necessarily bad, but still a big deal. And then the nerves that go along with, "OMG, now I'm a mom and I have this whole little life totally dependent upon me!" But the thing is that everything will be fine. You're a strong person and you will do whatever it takes to get your baby safely into this world, and you'll be a good mom because you're worried and because you love your baby. Things just have a way of working out, even with the nerves, fear and sometimes difficulties that go along with being a new parent.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 6, 2011 20:49:07 GMT -5
EconStudent07Message #14137 - 11/29/10 08:49 PMGusita, it does sound like your hospital is being cheap! I think it's worth bringing though, even if it might be a bit of a pain to deflate it and pack it. Blind shaving - yeah, not fun. I was trying the other day, and it ended up so uneven looking because I couldn't see anything. kgb, thank you for the kind words! It will work out...it will work out...it will work out. If I repeat it enough, maybe I'll calm down. KrisKringleGingleBellsMessage #14138 - 11/29/10 08:56 PMHe had a 'look' and it turns out I cut myself earlier in the shower when I was shaving down there and didn't notice it because I can't see at all down there anymore. Only 6.5 more weeks of blind shaving to go! I gave up when I could no longer see, I got tired of trying to manuever so I could see and somehow manage to not kill myself at the same time. I pretty much decided to get professional services involving anything below the waist. Up until I had Avery I used to get regular, professional bikini waxes. (I haven't had the time or money since. ) I had a bikini wax a week before I had her. Let me tell you that was painful!! You get a lot more sensitive the closer you get to delivery. I was hot and sweaty. My poor waxer thought she was going to send me into labor right then and there. My mom couldn't understand why I would do such a thing. My thought was that is one of the few times in my life that I'll have an audience down there, so I wanted to be well-groomed. I also got regular pedicures while I was pregnant. I couldn't reach my toes enough to do my own. azure skyMessage #14139 - 11/29/10 08:57 PMOk, ladies, I have a lot of catching up to do after being away for the weekend, but I would like a little help before I go back and read: I just got the sad news that my brother's wife miscarried. This was their first pregnancy, and he was just over the moon happy and excited. The day after he announced to the family at Thanksgiving, she started cramping and bleeding. I know I'm not the first to ask this, but does anyone have any words of wisdom or insight as to how I can be helpful to them now? I live far, far away from them, so unfortunately I cannot do anything in person. I was planning to send flowers... ElfQ1015Message #14140 - 11/29/10 08:59 PM My thought was that is one of the few times in my life that I'll have an audience down there, so I wanted to be well-groomed. I figured after watching Discovery Health that my hoo ha was probably still a lot better than 99.9% of the ones they see on a regular basis. jenna30-Message #14141 - 11/29/10 09:03 PMre: shaving... I use a mirror to try to shave around the bikini line, but leave the rest alone. I can't see a freaking thing below my belly w/o a mirror, and don't want to risk hurting myself. I can barely get my tennis shoes on and tied -- difficult to bend over and/or bring my leg up. Shoot, 1/2 the time I can't get my pants on w/o a couple of tries. I'm not that big.. I've just lost all flexibility and sense of balance. My hospital is supposed to have the birthing balls available, and we have one at home. Honestly, when I sit on it at home... it just makes me feel like I need to go to the bathroom. But, virtually everything makes me feel like I need to use the bathroom. I'm in week 39... due date originally 12/7. EconStudent07Message #14142 - 11/29/10 09:05 PMI also got regular pedicures while I was pregnant. I couldn't reach my toes enough to do my own. My husband paints my toenails since I can't reach...don't tell him I told you that. azure, that's so sad. Anything you do to let them know that you care would be very appreciated, I'm sure. When my sister lost her first pregnancy, I sent her a sorry-for-your-loss card. I didn't know much about pregnancy loss then, but she said that it was really nice to have it acknowledged--so many people brushed it off as "just" an early loss. Nothing is going to make it better for them, but anything you do to let them know you care would be really nice.
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