Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

ARMD
Message #1267 - 02/24/09 12:06 AM

Does anyone have the Summer infant-900 MHz 2.5 Color Handheld Video Monitor or know anyone who does? I have been reading the reviews and it seems really good, but I'm still not sure what monitor to choose. It looks like it is between the Summer Infant monitor and the Q-see even though the reviews are mixed on both. Any other suggestions or comments on those two monitors?

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1268 - 02/24/09 02:37 PM

Can anyone tell me what to expect with 2 under the age of 2?  I tested positive on a home pregnancy test yesterday and see my reg. doctor on Thursday.  I'm hoping my ob/gyn will have a moment to speak with me then too. 

DD is just under 10 months old and I don't think she'll be ready to transition to a real bed at that point, so I guess we'll need another crib and dresser. 

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digginouttadebt
Message #1269 - 02/24/09 04:06 PM

Wisconsin Beth- I don't have kids that close in age, but one thought I have is that your older child may be able to transition to a bed with rails a few months after the baby is born.  Maybe you could just put a mattress on the floor in the meantime?  I would hate to buy another crib that you will only use a short time.  Also, you could keep baby in a pack-n-play or a bassinet for 3 months, giving your older one a bit more time in the crib, then do a mattress on the floor for a few months.  By that time she should be 2.5 or 3 and may be fine in a twin bed with rails.  Good luck!

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ARMD
Message #1270 - 02/24/09 05:19 PM

I agree with digginouttadebt that you wouldn't necessarily need 2 cribs. We just had our first baby in January, and we have a portacrib in our bedroom that she will be in for at least a few months. I do have to be honest though and say that she hasn't actually slept in it much as she tends to sleep better at night if we hold her (she's only 6 weeks old). This being the case, we have spent many a night in the recliner with her, so she doesn't even use her bed. We have a 2 story house, so we have a pack n play downstairs with a bassinet attachment in it that we use during the day. She sleeps in her swing a lot too. So, you do have multiple options if you don't want to purchase another crib or push your older one into a bigger crib when she's not ready.

Another dresser is a good idea if you need more storage space. You shouldn't have to purchase another infant seat at least since your older one should be in a bigger seat by then. the same is true for other things that can be reused.

The biggest thing will be figuring out how to manage with two little ones so close in age. I run a home daycare and my youngest daycare child turned a year right after we had our own baby. She is crawling (on the verge of walking) all over the place. She felt displaced when the new baby arrived and is still learning to wait her turn. Just be prepared for a lot of chaos and not being able to get a lot done. If people offer to help, take it. I'm not sure what I would do if my mom didn't help me out as much as she does. Rest as much as possible, when you can, as it is not always possible to sleep when the baby sleeps when you have another to run after. Don't be afraid to hand the baby to daddy or tell him to watch your older one for awhile if he doesn't do it automatically. Just be prepared for it to be harder this time around than it was the first time; in the beginning at least.

I wish you the best.

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boos_mom
Message #1271 - 02/24/09 07:53 PM

beth - I agree that a playpen / pack n play could be used for the first few months with the new baby.  We did move #1 into the bedroom further away from us so that the baby could be near us.  If you do that, you'd want to do it a month or two before or after the baby arrives just so she doesn't feel like it's baby's fault.  Plus, I got all these wall decorations and cute sheets for the new room to make it more exciting and desirable.  We did use a toddler bed before transitioning to a twin bed, but be warned that toddlers figure out now they can roam around so maybe a baby gate by the door to keep her in her room at least and a second monitor unit.  I must say having one was much easier.  With two, you will now have to divide attention, time and duties and things may not be completed as thoroughly as before.  New baby won't get as much attention as #1 did, and #1 will be missing all the attention she used to get, especially when she won't even be 2 years old.  I admire folks who are able to manage two little ones.  Congrats and best wishes!

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Holly Smith
Message #1272 - 02/25/09 04:15 AM

I didn't buy any kind of baby monitor at all.  E was in our room until she was four months old and now we keep both doors open and she's about ten feet away from us, even when she's in her crib in her room.

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1273 - 02/25/09 05:21 AM

Congrats Wisconsin Beth!

ARMD - we have the lorax system.  It's made by a company known for it's video security, according to DH.  We got it brand new for $100 off craigslist.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1274 - 02/25/09 05:35 PM



Hi ladies.  I have a question regarding an etiquette issue.  DH and I were just married in August.  Now we're expecting in October.  A friend of mine mentioned what I should register for for my baby shower.  I said my family doesn't really do baby showers, and I would feel awkward if friends or my MIL had one for me since we just had a wedding shower and wedding less than a year ago.

 

I think it feels wrong to ask people to give us more gifts when they were all so generous within the past eight months.  DH and my best friend (who has offered to throw me a baby shower) disagree with me and think I shouldn't worry about it.  I don't want to be greedy.  Thoughts?

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Holly Smith
Message #1275 - 02/25/09 08:47 PM

That would be rude, if it were your decision to throw yourself a shower.  But since it's something that your friends would do in your honor, then it would probably be rude not to accept their offer.

I think the trick is to not be obviously greedy about it.  Get a registry so people will know your style, but very few people will actually buy from it.  Don't let whoever runs your shower put anything about gifts in the invitation- people know how to find out.  Don't let them put anything about cash, don't complain when you don't get anything you need (you can probably use most of what you get anyway) and above all, don't rely on others to buy your really necessary items.  If they buy them, great.  If not, plan to buy them yourself.

I moderated a board of pg women due the same month I was, and it was appalling how so many thought the shower was a shakedown.  Complaining that they didn't get the stuff on their registry (like anyone ever does).  Complaining that they didn't get anything they needed.  Whining that they didn't know how they were going to pay for the stuff they needed.  It got really old.  Since the vast majority of these were planned pregnancies, I had a hard time understanding why these women didn't, well, plan.

Word to the wise about registries: don't set one up too early.  Baby stores change inventory extremely regularly (every three months on a lot of stuff), so that awesome stroller you added to your registry at four months along might be discontinued and unavailable at eight months.

Plan to get mostly baby clothes if your friends throw you a shower.  Have your shower at least a month before the baby is born, and don't buy clothes for the baby until you find out what you get from the shower or from people who couldn't make it.  Don't wait that long to get a crib, especially if you're ordering one.  They take forever.

Congrats, and good luck!  I thought it was awkward to have to set up a registry and have a baby shower but it went great and I had a wonderful time.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1276 - 02/25/09 09:02 PM

Thanks for the response Holly!

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #1277 - 02/25/09 09:56 PM

Beth,  our little guy slept in his carseat for the first couple of months.  He absolutely hated the crib but loved the carseat.  Several friends never got their kids to sleep in cribs, so I woudln't bet on needing 2 cribs. 

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boos_mom
Message #1278 - 02/25/09 11:24 PM



kgb - If your MIL and friend wants to throw you a shower, then you should just let them know you would prefer to keep the guest lists short, closest friends and family.  Most close friends and family will get you a baby gift whether you have a shower or not anyway.  Just be very happy that people are happy for you both.

re: registries - most folks I know didn't really register (for babies, bridal showers or weddings).  But, now with internet shopping, I've seen some online registries and have used it as a guide in terms of parents' tastes/fave colors and possible non-clothing gifts.  Then, I would buy something similar, maybe from a different store though.  I agree with holly that there will be a lot of baby clothes given as gifts.  It can't be helped, too cute those newborn clothes.  Just keep tags on and gift receipts and exchange for credit if baby outgrows things quickly or if you get duplicates.  I've used the credit toward the bigger baby stuff (bouncer, pack n play, etc.) 

holly - Wow, that is pretty appalling!  You should've directed them to WIR to get their finances in order. 

[Virgil Showlion]

sbcaligirl
Message #1279 - 02/26/09 02:15 AM



holly - I can't believe women would act that way either.  My goodness, how rude!

I'm actually having my shower on Friday that one of my aunts organized and it was a total surprise.  I hadn't really planned on having a shower because I don't live super close to my friends or family.  I've been slowly accumulating clothes etc and the g.parents gave us some of the bigger items for Christmas.  We may end up with a lot of things we don't necessarily need but I'm still absolutely touched that my aunt wanted to do this for me and all my other aunts and grandma that live nearby want to contribute.  I only registered at Babies R Us after being harassed by several family members who wanted at least ideas of what we wanted.  I think any gifts from people are helpful and appreciated.  I can always return any duplicates or items we really don't need.  I think people get so wrapped up in themselves sometimes that they feel entitled to gifts for their life events.  I just try to remember that even though this event is huge and life altering for me and DH, it's not the center of the universe for friends and family .

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goddessofrock
Message #1280 - 02/26/09 11:22 PM



Congrats Wisconsin Beth!

 

KGB~~ don't worry about it. we got married in september and just had a baby in january. my godmother threw the wedding shower and my mom threw the baby shower. i felt a little uncomfortable at first but I realized that I'll end up doing the same thing for my cousins when they get a little older and have kids, and most of my friends I have or will have the opportunity to reciprocate when they get married or have kids.

 

re: diapers... AJ started with Pampers Swaddlers. One of my aunts brought us a case of Luvs and those have been working pretty well so I picked up another case at BJ's yesterday.

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anne81
Message #1281 - 02/27/09 02:17 AM

kgb - I didn't want a baby shower and wasn't near friends and family.  I got thrown one by my knitting group.  It was really sweet and because they are all experienced moms I've used every single thing they gave me (I didn't register, they just picked stuff themselves.)  It feels weird but it is definitely nice to have people celebrate you being pregnant.

holly -   I could not have controlled myself as the moderator.

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Holly Smith
Message #1282 - 02/27/09 03:36 AM

holly - Wow, that is pretty appalling!  You should've directed them to WIR to get their finances in order. 

I did that once or twice (particularly to the Grocery Challenge thread to get help on grocery budgets) but that site has a rule against linking to boards off its site.

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MittenKitten
Message #1283 - 02/28/09 05:17 AM



boos:  DS#2 is doing well.  We just had a follow up appointment with his developmental ped and he is impressed and happy with his progress (for any newer people DS#2 was diagnoised with Autism in Sept and is 2.5 years old)  He will be starting special ed preschool within the next month and I think that will help him a lot.  It will be 4 days a week for 2.5 hours, then for 5 weeks in the summer for 3 days.  The dr even made the comment that he is a charming little guy, which for an autistic child says a lot.

WI Beth:  Congrats.  I have 2 that are 23 months appart.  Most kids seem to outgrow the crib around 2 anyways so I would not purchase a new crib.  I used the basinet portion of our pack n play and then just went to the pack in play itself for a few months.  Worked out fine for us.

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Starting Over in NY
Message #1284 - 02/28/09 04:20 PM



kgb -

don't sweat the baby shower. Register if you are asked to.  DH and I started planning our Sept '08 wedding in Nov '07. We found out we were expecting on April 1st of '08.  So....wedding shower, wedding....baby shower.

The wedding shower (thrown by my wedding party) and the wedding were a very big deal...our Mom's took over for the baby shower - which WAS planned to be a big fun event with games, etc...until I ended up on bed rest and couldn't even sit up for more than 10 minutes. The baby shower ended up being a very low key event at my house, with me laying on the couch opening gifts.  It was nice - and while I had registered (by request of the grandmothers), I think we only got one or two things that were on it....

I joke with the family that I'm so good at multitasking, that I had to do it all in one year.

If your friends and family want to do this for you, then let them. Just make it known you don't want a big huge to-do.  (the grandmother's wouldn't listen to me, so my body and the doc took care of it for me a la the bedrest drama)....enjoy the experience!

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #1285 - 03/03/09 12:48 AM

i'm going back to work wednesday and i am going to miss my baby!!! 

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Ginger11
Message #1286 - 03/04/09 12:22 AM



Has anyone used ovulation kits?  Do they work? 

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boos_mom
Message #1287 - 03/04/09 12:30 AM



mitten - glad to hear the services are working well and were put in place so quickly for you and DS!  My friend was talking about one of her former classmates and how their toddler son seems to have stopped talking and babbling.  I told her that would be a red flag for me since the boy had been much more verbal before.  But, I think she said they aren't that concerned yet, since "boys are slower".

goddess - hope it goes okay at work tomorrow.  I know I missed #2 a ton those first few weeks.  I still do, but at least we have good child care arrangements and #2 is happy with the HDCP.  AJ will be with daddy, right?

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MittenKitten
Message #1288 - 03/06/09 03:42 AM

boosmom:  A child who talked/babbled a lot then stopped would raise HUGE flags with me.  How old is the child?  When did stop talking babbling?  When I took DS for his 18 month checkup and he didn't do any of the things the doctor wanted him to do (point to a dog, horse, ball etc on a card) stack blocks and a few other things he could do NONE of it.  Dr wasn't concerned at all and just said we will look more closely at his 2 year appointment.  I can't remember if I looked at him like he was nuts are asked but he told me to go ahead and make a developmental appointment if I had concerns before then.  I did have lots of concerns and am glad I trusted my instincts rather then his.  If I had done nothing I would be 6 months to a year behind where we are now. 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1289 - 03/06/09 02:32 PM

boos_mom, I agree with MittenKitten.  A child who was very verbal and suddenly isn't could be a sign of bigger problems.  It's not time to panic, but I would definitely urge your friend to have her son evaluated.  Normal language development that suddenly stops around that age is one sign of autism.

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sbcaligirl
Message #1290 - 03/06/09 03:58 PM



boos_mom: it also wouldn't hurt to take the child in for a checkup to see if there are any hearing issues.  One of my cousins stopped babbling/talking suddendly around 18-20 months for a few weeks so they took him into the doc and it turned out he had a massive ear infection that was blocking his hearing almost completely.  After antibiotics for a few weeks and ear drops he wsa back to normal.  The doc even said if they hadn't brought him in when they did the infection could have caused permanent damage even though there weren't any real symptoms other than the non-verbal change. 

goddessofrock: hope your first few days back went ok!

I'm almost to 36 weeks and wondering how on earth I'm going to get bigger without exploding.  My belly has reached what seems to be maximum capacity and my sleep schedule is totally out of whack because of the hormones and the discomfort.  My last day of work is on Sunday and then I'm off completely.  I've only been working 2 days a week for a few hours for the last two months which has been awesome, but even that is getting totally exhausting now.  If I can just get everything finished and ready before she comes, I think I'll be very excited.

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1291 - 03/06/09 04:53 PM

thanks everyone.  I'm unofficially/officially 6w1d today.  My ob/gyn did a u/s with a portable machine in the office.  He's amazed he got a heartbeat on it (we all thought I was further along.)  So he wants us back in 2 weeks for another one, then he'll send us off to the hospital for the 'real' u/s. 

We don't have a pack n play.  Well, we do, but Mom uses it for Keira to nap in at her house.  One of my sisters has a crib in her basement.  We're going to take a look at it and see what kind of shape it's in, if it's up to the current safety standards, etc. and evaluate from there. 

Goddess, I hope your days at work are ok.  I was kinda happy to go back to work after Keira, but I was home alone and really missing adults!  Plus she's at my Mom's for day care, so I don't have to worry about her at all. 

Holly, I briefly visited some baby boards that were like that.  Almost all of the mommies came across as spoiled brats too. 

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boos_mom
Message #1292 - 03/06/09 07:09 PM



Actually, it's a friend of my friend, so I just told my friend that I would get the boy tested if that was my child.  I wouldn't want to put off getting services to "wait it out" because if we're wrong, like mitten says, you'll lose 6 months to a year which is huge amount of time for little ones.  But, I'm not sure if my friend conveyed that to her friend.  The boy is about 18 months.  His father is a general internist.  I have noticed just from personal observation that certain parents who really should know better (i.e. doctors, teachers) tend to be slower about getting their children tested for developmental delays.  I think they may be in denial about it, since it is their own child vs. someone else's child.  But, I will try to see if my friend talked to her friend about it.  Hopefully, she did and they will do something about it. 

ginger - I used the ovulation sticks.  It worked for me, on the second month of using them.  It was the cheaper brand, so it took a month to figure out how to actually read the lines (i.e. "dark" was not really dark at all).  Also, folks talked about ovulation kits in the first few pages of this thread and maybe like 10 pages or so ago. 

sbcali - enjoy these last few weeks and try to get rest.  Baby could be arriving early, so try to finish up all baby-related stuff soon (and don't be a procrastinator like I was).  Best wishes for a safe, quick delivery!

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Nikki Mac
Message #1293 - 03/06/09 08:10 PM

This is my first time posting, and you have some good advice ladies.
My DH and I have been married 10 months ( we dated for 4 years until I could finish school) and have been working on our debt for a little over a year and have made amazing head way, but we are still years away. We are able to put an additional $200 a month on debt snowball and we try and put additional money into our debt when we can. We have an emergency fund of $1000.
My question is, what is your experince with having kids and paying off debt. My DH and are thinking about kids and I am worried about finances. In about a year we should only have our car, student loans left. I think this might be a good time to try. My husband feels like he is going to get too old to have kids soon, so he doesn't want to wait a long time. Any comments? I can't seem to get any good feedback from family or friends, they tell me not to worry or tell me I need to start having kids now.
Thanks

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digginouttadebt
Message #1294 - 03/06/09 08:35 PM

Nikki- many people will tell you that it will all just work out, yada yada.  And that is somewhat true.  I am a planner though.  My experience is that a baby adds $600 a month to the budget.  That's daycare (and we have $100 a week daycare which is cheap), diapers, and formula.  Clothing and other things can cost next to nothing or over the top depending on what you buy.  But necessities only- $600 a month for us.  If you solely breastfeed, that would go down, but not everyone is able to BF, so you shouldn't count on not having the formula expense.  You could possibly cut down on diapers if you do cloth (that's NOT an option for me!).  And maybe you get to stay home or have free childcare with a grandparent.  But if you are going back to work and need daycare, regular diapering, and formula feeding- $600 a month, at least.  Plus you will need some sort of cushion for the extra's (clothing, car seats, stroller, the list can go on and on). 

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boos_mom
Message #1295 - 03/06/09 11:39 PM



nikki - it really depends on your situation.  Are you in your mid-20s?  If you only have an additional $200/mo to pay extra toward your debt payments, then it sounds like a tight budget.  How much money will be freed up by next year when you only have SL and car payments left? 

I would check into how much daycare costs in your area, unless you have free childcare arrangements.  If you will be going to 1-income, then you actually need to see if your budget needs to be adjusted to reflect that.  I would wait until I have a 6 month EF built up, plus additional savings for maternity leave and any unpaid leave you want to take.  Also, find out about your employer's maternity benefits and health plans.  If you know that you will have to pay $3K for medical costs related to baby's delivery, you should start saving that up too.

Diapers cost about $40 a month (warehouse clubs), formula can run about $120/month for the regular brands (special feeding requirements will be even more expensive), cost of going to a family plan for health insurance, costs for dr. visits and medicines will occur maybe monthly if you use daycare.   So, a budget of about $200/mo for basic baby needs is a good estimate.

Remember, you'll still want to contribute to retirement savings and need to save up for on-going things (car repairs, gifts throughout the year, vacations, etc.).  Having your financial house in order before having kids allows you to focus on enjoying them and less worrying about how to make ends meet.  Good luck!

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anne81
Message #1296 - 03/13/09 12:10 AM

ginger11 - I used the ovulation kits and got pregnant the first cycle.  They are kind of tough to read - "dark" is so open to interpretation.  I started using them about a week before I thought my first ovulation would be just to see what they looked like when not ovulating.

boos_mom - I hope it turns out to be nothing with that little boy but it is pretty worrisome that not only is he not talking as much but that his parents aren't concerned.

goddess - hope going back to work is going great!

Nikki Mac - like the others have said, it really depends on your personal situation.  If you post on the main women in red board, or here on this thread, with greater detail people will be happy to give you more personalized advice.

Well we're at 10 weeks and things are a lot better.  Reflux is under control, colic is dying down, and he occasionally takes naps! I think part of his fussiness is that he's growing so fast.  He's 17 lbs already so double his birth weight!  His weight is in line with his height but he's already wearing 6-9 month clothing.  I hit up some stores in the mall today to buy him more clothes and the sales are amazing. (Totally doesn't make up for the terrible economy though.  I think I'd rather have high gas prices and less sales than all these job losses )

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1297 - 03/13/09 04:51 AM

anne - holy cow!  10 weeks old and 17 lbs.  Yowsa!  I would be miserable too growing that quickly!  Glad that things are getting better.  #2 had two teeth finally break through the gumline.  I knew he was teething again b/c of the super-drool and his gumming everything like crazy.  Plus, he's sitting up, pulling himself up and is so talkative.  It's so cute seeing him crawling next to #1 to see what she's doing. 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1298 - 03/13/09 04:19 PM



anne, you little one sounds like my nephew.  He was so chubby when he was a baby.  By a year old he weighed 30 pounds!  He looked like a little Buddha baby.   When he got a little older and started running, he started to shoot up and slim out.  Now he's 4, and he's verging on skinny.

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goddessofrock
Message #1299 - 03/13/09 04:31 PM



AJ and DH seem to be doing really well together! It's me that misses him!

 

sbcali~~ enjoy your last few weeks! Try to rest and just take it one day at a time!  I thought for sure AJ would be late and he was a week early!! so you never know!

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boos_mom
Message #1300 - 03/16/09 10:47 PM



did anyone read this article?  www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29710422/.  From the article:

We were raised to expect that co-parenting was an attainable goal. But who were we kidding? Even in the best of marriages, the domestic burden shifts, in incremental, mostly unacknowledged ways, onto the woman. Breast-feeding plays a central role in the shift. In my set, no husband tells his wife that it is her womanly duty to stay home and nurse the child. Instead, both parents together weigh the evidence and then make a rational, informed decision that she should do so. Then other, logical decisions follow: she alone fed the child, so she naturally knows better how to comfort the child, so she is the better judge to pick a school for the child and the better nurse when the child is sick, and so on. Recently, my husband and I noticed that we had reached the age at which friends from high school and college now hold positions of serious power. When we went down the list, we had to work hard to find any women. Where had all our female friends strayed? Why had they disappeared during the years they’d had small children?

The debate about breast-feeding takes place without any reference to its actual context in women’s lives. Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. Let’s say a baby feeds seven times a day and then a couple more times at night. That’s nine times for about a half hour each, which adds up to more than half of a working day, every day, for at least six months. This is why, when people say that breast-feeding is “free,” I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It’s only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing....  [Breastfeeding] contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence. Right now, even part-time, it’s a strain. But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it.

I know I have the same ambivalence toward breastfeeding, even though I still do it.  And while I do enjoy those special moments "bonding" with #2, exclusively BF-ing gets to be very difficult once you have more than one child.  All I know is that after being a mother, I never judge a mother's decision on whether she breastfeeds or not.

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Holly Smith
Message #1301 - 03/17/09 12:05 AM

Yeah, I've read it.  I'm on a breastfeeding debate board and it's been discussed to death.  Here are my thoughts on the part you quoted:

1. The average baby is not still nursing for a half-hour at each session for nine months.  E barely goes for five minutes most times now, and she was one of those who nursed constantly at the beginning.
2. If anything is to blame for the lack of women in high-ranking positions in business, it is NOT breastfeeding.  With initiation rates at around 60% nationwide, less than 30% at six months and barely over 10% at one year, there is a far greater alternate causation.  IOW, there simply aren't enough women breastfeeding for this to really be the primary cause.

This time around, I said, I was considering cutting it off after a month or so. At this remark, the air of insta-friendship we had established cooled into an icy politeness, and the mothers shortly wandered away to chase little Emma or Liam onto the slide. Just to be perverse, over the next few weeks I tried this experiment again several more times. The reaction was always the same: circles were redrawn such that I ended up in the class of mom who, in a pinch, might feed her baby mashed-up Chicken McNuggets.

Honestly, I have never seen a single woman be like this.  In fact, I see the opposite: women who have pushed me endlessly to wean since E got teeth at four months, or total strangers who feel the need to come up to me and explain why they couldn't breastfeed when they see me nursing her in public.  These women may be feeling guilty, but it's not because I said one single word to them.

Being stuck at home breast-feeding as he walked out the door for work just made me unreasonably furious, at him and everyone else.

Actually, I think this is the crux of the problems most women have with breastfeeding.  We, as a culture, expect women to breastfeed but offer little to nothing for them in the way of support.  Women's expression of stress and problems with breastfeeding in the early days are typically not met with encouragement and assistance in finding solutions.  Instead, they are told to "just give the baby a bottle," as if that's the solution to every breastfeeding problem.  Baby hungry all the time?  You must not be making enough milk- better switch to formula.  Baby has stomach upset?  It must be something you ate- better switch to formula.  Baby won't sleep a lot?  Formula is harder to digest- better switch to that.

Personally, I never found myself "stuck at home" breastfeeding.  It took a few weeks to get comfortable with it, but I have nursed Elizabeth in public regularly since then.  I directed a huge Girl Scout camp when E was only four weeks old, and there's no way I could have done that without NIP.  But so many women have been scared out of the mere prospect that someone might freak out by seeing an inch-wide strip of their skin (that they would think nothing of exposing in a swimming suit) that they are prompted either to wean or to supplement with formula, which we all know is typically the starting point for the end of breastfeeding.

This is why, when people say that breast-feeding is “free,” I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It’s only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing....

And yet, for some women, that $120+ per month may be the tipping point.  I can't tell you how many people on my PG have hit me up for formula coupons or any extra samples I was sent because they're just not able to make ends meet anymore.

Also, is this woman really implying that a formula-fed baby does not take a parent's time to be fed?  There's cleaning, sterilizing and preparing bottles, on top of the time needed to actually feed the baby.  Perhaps this woman would be more than happy to regularly bottle-prop her newborn, but my understanding is that the average formula-feeding mother recognizes as well as I do the inherent dangers in doing so, and as such would need to invest about as much time as I do.  Yes, with ff other people can feed the baby, but I express milk for that purpose.  Besides, just because your husband can get up in the middle of

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What a Catch
Message #1302 - 03/17/09 12:37 AM

I know it's on here somewhere, but it's late and I just am too tired to look.  Who knows what store brand formula/diapers are what name brand?  A friend is due in a few days and I told her I'd find out.  So I'm using you guys as a cheat sheet!

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1303 - 03/17/09 04:54 AM



whatacatch - So far, from what I've seen posted around: Walgreens formula = Enfamil; Target and Kirkland formula = Similac; Kirkland diapers = Huggies Supreme; and Sam's Club diapers = Pampers.

Holly - if you read the article, the author breastfed all three of her children.  She is trying to raise awareness about the fact that the medical research does not support this whole indoctrination that "breast is best".  Contrary to what has been conveyed is that breastmilk is not some magical elixir.  The medical research has only shown very minimal effect of breastmilk in terms of baby's health and development vs. formula feeding, yet those "benefits" have been overemphasized.  The fact that there is a "debate" and that mothers feel they must BF at least until 12 months old or BF as long as they can before doing the "lesser" option of formula feeding is proof that this "breastmilk mystique" exists.  Even the formula cans and literature say "breast is best".  However, the medical studies cannot control all of the variables to show statistically significant benefits of BF-ing vs. formula.  And, I think the "pressure" mothers feel to BF is class and education related.  And personally, yes, I've actually been told often to just give baby a bottle of formula from people/relatives.  But I also know that I feel this pressure upon myself to continue to BF b/c of the "breast is best" mantra in my head.  Basically, I would prefer that women and the public just support each other no matter which they choose to do BF or FF.  The most important thing is loving and bonding with baby, cuddling and snuggling, not what's in the bottle.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1304 - 03/17/09 01:09 PM



I'm always a bit surprised at how much of a debate breastfeeding causes. It seems to me that mothers should be supportive of one another and not judgmental about the choices/situations of other moms. Since I'm expecting my first child, I've been giving this a lot of thought. I intend to try breastfeeding. I don't know how long it will be feasible for me to do it after my maternity leave is up. DH and I are working to get to a point where I could be a SAHM or at least work part-time, but it's not going to happen in time for baby's arrival.

 

Several years ago I was at a Le Leche Club meeting (long story as to why I was there). I'm sure not all of the groups are like this, but at that particular group the women were very judgmental about the parenting skills of others on a multitude of topics. They clearly all had the same way of thinking, and if you weren't on board, you were a bad mother.  I was kind of amazed. 

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1305 - 03/17/09 02:28 PM

Basically, I would prefer that women and the public just support each other no matter which they choose to do BF or FF.

I know my family and friends were supportive of my bfing.  And they're supportive of me weaning DD now too. 

My work was amazingly supportive of my pumping for 7 months (3 months FMLA, 7 months pumping 2 or 3 times a day = now.)  I didn't follow the link, so maybe this was addressed there, but there IS a cost of pumping at work.  I missed meetings, I missed lunches with the boss and I missed opportunities for training.  Will this impede my chances of advancement here?  Maybe, maybe not.  It's too soon to tell. 

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anne81
Message #1306 - 03/17/09 11:13 PM

I've been struggling with bf'ing too and share the author's ambivalence, if not all her views.  Bottlefeeding allows me to leave the house for more than 40 minutes without worrying about the baby which means that DH gets time to be a parent without me hovering.  I find it very difficult to not intervene as he has a very different style and method of taking care of DS. 

The idea that being exclusively responsible for feeding an infant can make the balance of work between two parents tilt towards the mother is interesting.  It is an incredible commitment of time and body.

I don't agree that breastmilk and formulas are equal, nutritionally, but I do believe that formula is adequate.

With bf'ing in terms of bonding my experience has gone both ways.  He gave his first smile and his first laugh to DH.  I was a little upset.  DH mentioned that every time I bf the baby and am looking at him I have a frown on my face and I'm grimacing (probably from the pain).  That's not exactly what I want imprinted on my baby's subconscious.  On the other side of the scale I hurt his hand while trimming his nails the other day and the only thing that would do for comfort was my breast, not the bottle.  So obviously the act of breastfeeding means something to my son.

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Holly Smith
Message #1307 - 03/18/09 01:56 AM

I'm sure not all of the groups are like this, but at that particular group the women were very judgmental about the parenting skills of others on a multitude of topics. They clearly all had the same way of thinking, and if you weren't on board, you were a bad mother.  I was kind of amazed.

Unfortunately, you get that in every group of mothers, I've noticed.

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Holly Smith
Message #1308 - 03/18/09 02:23 AM

She is trying to raise awareness about the fact that the medical research does not support this whole indoctrination that "breast is best".

This is the part of my post that was cut off by MSN.  If anyone is passing on indoctrination about "breast is best," then it must be the formula companies, for it is their phrase.  Honestly, if the breastfeeding "lobby" is responsible for such unreasonable pressuring of women, what is the benefit?  Who's getting rich off breastfeeding?

You can feel free to agree with this article.  I do not.  This woman speaks of bf advocates in only the most negative of terms, failing totally to counterbalance them with the formula companies.  Formula companies have a much greater stake in ensuring that women fail at bf than any bf advocate has a stake in ensuring they succeed, and the proof is in the pudding.  "Breast is best" may be the mantra that you internalized, but I can assure you that behind that slogan is a great deal of indirect sabotage.

My response to her argumentation is that breastmilk was never intended to be "best."  It simply is the designed food for a human infant.  Saying "breast is best" sets it up as some kind of unreachable ideal- something that you do if you can but most women can't.

The fact that there is a "debate" and that mothers feel they must BF at least until 12 months old or BF as long as they can before doing the "lesser" option of formula feeding is proof that this "breastmilk mystique" exists.

No, it isn't.  There are debates about when to place a child forward-facing in a carseat despite plain evidence that keeping a young child rear-facing for longer than one year is far safer than turning them around.  There are debates about the timing of the introduction of solid foods in infants despite the fact that most pediatric experts recommend exclusively bf or ff until six months.  There are debates about the benefits/disadvantages of routine infant circumcision despite the fact that most experts now oppose it.  Just because there is a debate does not mean that bf advocates are inherently inaccurate.  What it means is that tradition conflicts with scientific research and expert opinion.

The fact of the matter is that after a couple of generations of ff being the "norm," we as a culture do not have the skills or the inclination to support women in bf as an endeavor.  Thirty years ago, there would have been no debate about it- formula, most doctors would have said, was best.  We now know that is hardly the case.  I've read of horror stories where women of that time were given shots to dry up their milk without their consent and sometimes even without their knowledge.

Basically, I would prefer that women and the public just support each other no matter which they choose to do BF or FF.  The most important thing is loving and bonding with baby, cuddling and snuggling, not what's in the bottle.

It seems to me that this is a false dichotomy.  I can give what's best for my baby and do all the things you have said.  My baby's system is designed to receive breastmilk.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Formula is a highly processed food, kind of like Ensure for adults.  Now, I might eat a highly-processed meal-replacement bar occasionally when I don't have time for a real meal, but I wouldn't expect to do so for every single meal.  Making that assumption, why would I give my baby such processed food for every meal?

Yes, breastfeeding is not an option for everyone.  Some people have problems that render them truly unable to bf.  And formula was designed for them so that they needn't sit and watch their babies starve instead.  But the vast majority of women can bf, and bf exclusively without formula supplement.  It is a finger-pointing shame in our society that we do not provide the support that women need to make it work.

[Virgil Showlion]

bogart
Message #1309 - 03/18/09 02:34 AM

I didn't follow the link, so maybe this was addressed there, but there IS a cost of pumping at work.

I absolutely agree, and yes, the article did address this.  I have a private office and respectful colleagues, but it was still incovenient/difficult to find the quiet time to pump, even though I checked/responded to email while doing so ...

For anyone looking for some light reading to occupy the free time they'll enjoy during their maternity leave (NOTE:  I AM KIDDING!!!), a woman by the name of Sarah Blaffer Hrdy wrote a book called Mother Nature:  Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species, which provides, among other interesting arguments in its 752 pages, a great discussion of how amazing and novel it is that we in the developed parts of the world now finally have an alternative besides breast feeding that offers our babies a safe, nutritious source of food (i.e. formula).  For most of human history and for much of the world even today, that isn't true, and it's a significant contributor to infant mortality.  This really is a great book (IMO), but, um, many otherwise reasonable people would probably disagree with me or at least, not read far enough to be able to agree ...

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goddessofrock
Message #1310 - 03/19/09 01:30 PM



I didn't read the whole breast feeding article, but I have been back at work for 2 weeks and trying to pump at work... and I was trying to leave the pump at work m-f so I didn't have to haul it on my commute every day... my office is 1 mile from the train and I don't have a car...

 

but because AJ sometimes doesn't want to wake up at 6am to nurse when I need to leave the house at 7 and it made me late on Wednesday... I am now going to have to bring the stupid thing in and out with me every day just so that my boobs don't explode out milk!!

 

The whole thing is getting to be kind of a pain in the butt and I thought about switching to formula but #1 I have about 150 of those milk storage bags and some of those disposable nursing pads which i don't want to waste now. (I thought pumping was going to save me money!!!)

 

Plus at 10 weeks old I would have to switch him to formula and formula STINKS so bad... and when they spit it up it just SMELLS so much worse than breast milk... I mean when they spit up breast milk it kind of smells like CHEESE... when they spit up formula it smells like SEWER.... maybe I just have a sensitive nose...

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1311 - 03/19/09 01:43 PM

and I was trying to leave the pump at work m-f so I didn't have to haul it on my commute every day.

I found it a pain to haul my pump around too.  My commute was about 7 minutes in a car!  it's an extra thing to remember, along with the baby stuff and the baby, and whatever stuff you have to take to work too.  Can you buy a cheapy pump for home, for the days when you have to pump at home? 

The whole thing is getting to be kind of a pain in the butt and I thought about switching to formula but #1 I have about 150 of those milk storage bags and some of those disposable nursing pads which i don't want to waste now. (I thought pumping was going to save me money!!!)

Yeah, somehow that doesn't get mentioned very often!  But the bags will go fast.  The pads probably will too, for you at this stage.  Eventually, I stopped needed to wear the pads.  I forgot to put them in one morning and didn't have any spare ones tucked into my pump.  But I learned I didn't need them anymore, so that helped. 

---

bogart
Message #1312 - 03/19/09 09:15 PM

Goddess,

Yeah, it's a real nuisance isn't it? 

Could you buy a small inexpensive hand pump (I got an Avent pump for free from the hospital where DS was born, so that was what I used) to use when needed at home?  I didn't like my hand pump as well as the electric, (though I know some women prefer them), but for some aspects of traveling (including needing to pump in the car -- while my DH was driving, obviously -- on road trips to visit family), it was a useful thing to have.  Anyway, I figure then you could keep the hand pump at home and leave the electric at work?  Hope you can find some way to make the logistics manageable if this is important to you.

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jdnstl
Message #1313 - 03/19/09 10:04 PM

RE BFing

i've been lucky so far. i pumped a lot while out on leave & the supply has lasted until this week. i live close enough to work i go home everyday at lunch & pump. i bf DS during the evening & morning hours. this week i had to start supplementing 1 bottle/day as formula bc my extra was all gone & pumping 1x per day i only get enough for 1 bottle (he gets 2 bottles during the day at the sitters). he's a little over 5 months & i feel thankful to be able to keep going for as long as i have. i will bf while at friend's/family's homes but i never got comfortable enough to do it while in a restaurant or while out shopping. while on leave i would time trips out of the house for when i knew he wouldn't be hungry, or i'd pack a bottle of pumped milk. money wise, i think bfing saved us a lot over the last 3 months that i've been back at work. i'll be the first to admit that i'm not very informed & i don't care too much to research all the pros & cons of bfing or ffing. all i care about is that my baby is growing & developing like he should & he's happy. and he is so i'm happy.

now, who wants to start a debate over vaccines? just kidding!

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boos_mom
Message #1314 - 03/20/09 12:28 AM



goddess - I have been schlepping my pump back and forth to work every day.  My parking lot is half a mile from my office, so my back and shoulders are taking a beating.  I feel like I really need multiple massage therapy sessions to work on all the aches and knots I have.  I don't do rolling carts/bags because the vibration of the rolling bag strains my hands and makes them numb.  In the end, BF-ing hasn't really saved me money per se, between nursing tops, breastmilk bags, and being too tired to pack lunch (plus yet another bag/thing to prep in addition to #1 and #2's things for daycare) and picking up lunch every day -- at least this comes from my spending allowance.  I have to make little motivational speeches to myself all the time, week by week, to keep going.  The sad part is, #2 continues to have a weak latch on the weekends too, so I now have to pump more on the weekends too.  We're down to 2 actual breast feedings, in the morning and after dinner.  The rest of the time it's bottles of milk or sometimes some formula if I haven't defrosted anything and have no freshly pumped milk.   

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1315 - 03/20/09 02:42 AM

I for one am starting to hate my pump.  It used to be a love-hate relationship.  I've been pumping at least twice a day since E was one month, so coming up on ten months now.  Invariably I will forget to bring some kind of cloth with me to wipe myself afterward when I pump at school, and now that I don't wear nursing pads I just feel sticky a lot on those days.  The pump bag is heavy and is a major drag on carrying stuff around.  I will gradually cut down this summer so that I am done pumping by the time school starts again next fall.

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anne81
Message #1317 - 03/20/09 06:07 PM

Pumping is really terrible.  It's nice to be able to give breastmilk when you are not there but it's annoying.  I can't decide if it's making my nipples worse or helping them heal, probably because I haven't switched to using the pump exclusively or feeding exclusively without it.

DS is developing a flat spot on the back of his head.  I keep trying to turn his head but he moves it right back, even in his sleep.  It doesn't help that he refuses to spend more than a minute on his tummy.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1318 - 03/20/09 06:29 PM

I didn't hate the pump, but it sure got old having to pump at work and in the mornings.  I made it to 10 months and was told to wean due to my pregnancy.  I know I probably could have managed it for another 6 weeks or so, but I was kinda glad to stop.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1319 - 03/20/09 08:38 PM

I forgot to respond to this:

but because AJ sometimes doesn't want to wake up at 6am to nurse when I need to leave the house at 7 and it made me late on Wednesday... I am now going to have to bring the stupid thing in and out with me every day just so that my boobs don't explode out milk!!

At that age, I'd just wake him up to nurse so you don't have to pump.  E gets a little crabby when I wake her up earlier than she would have woke herself up, but she's a lot crabbier if she wakes up and then she doesn't get to nurse because I'm not there.

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Holly Smith
Message #1320 - 03/20/09 08:39 PM

Beth, why were you told to wean?  I've known a few people who nursed through their pregnancies and then nursed both after the next baby was born.

I guess it's okay since you were ready to be done, but I would be pi$$ed if my doctor told me to wean and I didn't actually have to.  My doctor tried to tell me I'd have to wean in order to take Imitrex for my migraines but her information is so outdated and I was glad that E's pediatrician was more savvy.

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1321 - 03/23/09 02:00 AM

I have a question about teething.  My almost 12 week old has a bright white bump on his lower gum in the center.  Could this be a tooth?  He's drooling like mad and only gets a good nap with tylenol but I thought that might be the reflux.  I had my first teeth by four months if that helps.

Also - found the source of my nipple pain at my 7th consult with an LC.  I have Raynaud's of the nipple.  It's cutting off blood flow there which is why the fissures in my nipples are getting worse.  They can't heal without some circulation.  Supposedly two weeks of a HBP medication can help so I've got my fingers crossed.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1322 - 03/23/09 02:55 AM

Anne, that very well could be a tooth just under the surface.  It may take weeks or months to erupt though.  You'll know when it erupts because it will be very sharp.  Hopefully it will be quick for you.  E got eight teeth from 4-7 months and they all cut very easy, but #9 and #10 have been on their way for over a month now and it's driving me crazy.  E is a drool monster, totally fussy and going through biter biscuits like their Gerber puffs.

I'm glad you seem to have a potential resolution to your nipple pain.  Nipple pain sucks.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1323 - 03/23/09 03:19 PM

Beth, why were you told to wean?  I've known a few people who nursed through their pregnancies and then nursed both after the next baby was born.

I was told it was better for me, the baby and DD.  And I have to admit, DD is sleeping a LOT better since we started formula.  Now, we did make some other changes at the same time, so the better sleep is probably a combo of all of them, but I'm not going to complain (we went from being up 5-6 times a night to 2.)

I was disappointed at first, but we're keeping the comfort nursing, as needed.  My ob/gyn is ok with that.  Actually, he didn't know what to do with me, I'm the first nursing/pregnant Mom he's ever had.  I keep meaning to ask him if the rest of his moms either plan better than we do or didn't breastfeed! 

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1324 - 03/23/09 03:24 PM

I've given up hope on figuring out teething.  DD is 10.5 months old and I swear she's been teething for 5-6 months of that.  Results = 2 teeth.  I've decided that eventually the rest will pop, but in the meantime, it's not stopping her from chewing/gumming on finger foods. 

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Holly Smith
Message #1325 - 03/23/09 04:24 PM

Beth, maybe she'll get five teeth in one week like E did back in November.  What a week!  Easiest teething experience ever.

My research showed that nursing during pregnancy is usually okay, unless you are high-risk for miscarriage or are severely underweight (which does not apply to me ).  If E is still nursing when I start TTC around this time next year (which I expect will be the case), I'll keep going.  But I'm lucky that I know some people who have done it so they can be my support.

I actually know a woman who nursed her two-year-old all through her pregnancy with twins, and now is nursing all three.  That just blows my mind, although obviously the two-year-old only nurses once or twice a day.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1326 - 03/23/09 05:25 PM

Yeah, that blows my mind too.  I had planned on weaning at 1 year anyway.  But I'm good with this.  I got to 10 months and I feel good about that too. 

I'm considered to be at a higher risk, due to "advanced maternal age" (I'm 38 and will be 39 by the time I give birth) and I'm about 30+ lbs overweight. 

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1327 - 03/23/09 06:19 PM



anne - the teeth beneath the gumline still shows white, so it may be.  Super-drooling is definitely one of the signs of teething, and gumming anything and everything.  #1 got her first teeth at 4 months and had everything except the last molar set by 12 months old.  #2 started teething at 4 months, but stopped, and the two teeth didn't pop up until 8 months.  I think another pair is coming out again.  But, we've seen them under the gumline for many months. 

 

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1328 - 03/23/09 06:35 PM

I think another pair is coming out again.  But, we've seen them under the gumline for many months. 

yeah, I watched DD's top 2 front teeth descend in a matter of days, but they still haven't poked though yet and it's been about 3 months - it was around Christmas when I noticed them coming down.

---

MittenKitten
Message #1329 - 03/24/09 01:28 AM



Anne:  You should watch that flat spot.  DS#2 had it and it turned out to be torticolus (spelling?)  Basically on one side of the babies neck the muscles need to be stretched.  We went to PT for a month and it was fixed. If your baby's head always seems to be tilted a little bit he/she may have it.  Not a big deal when caught early and fixed but can be a big deal later if left unattended. 

Pumping was a pain, I pumped the whole year with DS#1 as he would not nurse (man gums can HURT when they bite down with them!) DS#2 I nursed until he was 18 months old, I was pregnant with DD for the last 3 months.  I wasn't nursing him a lot but it worked out fine, we were both ready to be done at 18 months is why we stopped, nothing to do with my pregnancy with DD.

Reynauds-my mom was just diagnoised with this and the HBP medication worked like a charm.  From her hands and feet always being freezing to now burning hot!  We always just thought our family had poor circulation, I know I have it in a couple of my fingers but not bad enough to worry about it. 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1330 - 03/24/09 01:56 AM

When I was a baby all my teeth took absolutely forever to actually poke through - you could see them come down and then it would take months and months for them to actually erupt.  This continued all through my childhood even until I got my adult teeth.  The dentist said some people's teeth are just like that but that it's often a sign the teeth will be healthier and hardier so at least that's something when dealing with teething .

---

anne81
Message #1331 - 03/24/09 04:01 PM

I didn't know teeth could show and then not erupt for some time.  I hope it happens quick because he's super fussy and gnawing on everything.  I can feel the bump of the tooth with my finger but it doesn't feel sharp.

mittenkitten - thanks for the advice.  He definitely prefers one side to the other, even though the flat spot is in the back.

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abundanceandprosperity
Message #1332 - 03/27/09 03:26 PM

Hi ladies, I am finally joining your ranks as I had a BFP earlier this week.  I will be spending the next eternity going through the 111 pages of this thread for all the advice I'll need!

[Virgil Showlion]

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1333 - 03/28/09 06:45 PM

Well, ladies, I got my BFP about a month ago but it was a little shaky at first (had some spotting and cramps) for a little bit so DH and I weren't telling anyone but I have been lurking on this thread for the past few weeks.  I just went for my first ultrasound yesterday and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat - 169 beats per minute.  I am just over 9 weeks along and my doc thinks I am doing just fine so happy day!  I am due October 28.

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anne81
Message #1334 - 03/28/09 10:08 PM

Congrats Megera716 !

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boos_mom
Message #1335 - 03/30/09 07:37 PM



Welcome abundance & congrats megera!

Um, what does BFP stand for?  sorry, I never really hung out on other pregnancy boards... 

---

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1336 - 03/30/09 11:06 PM

Boos, I had to Google it myself when I first saw it.  BFP = Big Fat Positive.  BFN = Big Fat Negative.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1337 - 03/31/09 02:01 PM

Congratulations and welcome to both megera and abundance. 

Yeah, there's a whole new language on the pregnancy boards. 

How did you transition from purees to finger food?  We've been slowly working at it and the last couple of weeks, Keira seems much more interested in finger foods.  She still eats the purees though.  I'm just ready to be done with purees. 

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Holly Smith
Message #1338 - 03/31/09 02:37 PM

I still do some mashed foods, although they're nowhere near pureed anymore.  They're pretty chunky, and I made that change gradually.  Otherwise, I give her as much fresh finger food as I can, and she gets most of it in her mouth now.  It just takes time.

[Virgil Showlion]

Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1339 - 03/31/09 04:26 PM

Hey Wisconsin Beth!  Question for you.  Over on YM, you posted on a thread about the guy whose baby is due in 8 weeks and you were talking about making sure that his DW got "freezer weight" milk bags as opposed to those just used for storage if she was going to pump.  Can you tell me in easy-to-understand terms what exactly the difference is? 

We are planning to pump and I know absolutely nothing about all that jazz so if you could enlighten me, it would be most appreciated.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1340 - 03/31/09 04:34 PM

I answered on Matt's thread, but my understanding is that it's similar to the difference between storage ziplock and freezer ziplock type bags.  One is thicker and designed to freeze and be defrosted and while the other may work, it may not. 

My lactation consultant (LC) warned us about it in bfing class.  She said several moms were defrosting milk in a bowl of warm water and the water was turning milky as the milk leaked out.  I think it's a useful thing to remember to check, so I try to pass it on. 

Holly, she's able to manage sweet potato fries, bits of beef and chicken, cheese, cooked carrot bits, rice, etc.  Foods like that.  She'll stuff the spoon in her mouth but not always right end up...  I'm just so tired of making purees.  And the smell of them is sometimes making me feel ill, so I'm really trying/hoping to be done with the purees. 

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1341 - 03/31/09 04:58 PM

OK, that makes sense.  I didn't know if the freezer-weight ones you referred to maybe had some special nozzle for pouring it out, compared to "storage" one that maybe was just like a Ziploc, like you said.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1342 - 03/31/09 05:47 PM

Yeah, I think it's just the weight/gauge of the plastic.  I'm not aware of any that have special nozzles.  I had problems pouring with the Lahinsoh ones, but they were cheaper than the Medela ones and I just sucked it up and coped. 

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Holly Smith
Message #1343 - 03/31/09 09:07 PM

Beth, can't you just mash up/cut up what you're eating?  This doesn't make sense to me unless you've got so much m/s that you're not actually eating anything.  I remember those days. 

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boos_mom
Message #1344 - 04/01/09 07:50 AM



beth - it really depends on your child.  If Keira's got a lot of teeth and is good at chewing her food, you could probably start just mashing more table food and stop pureeing.  Check with your pediatrician.  Ours says no regular table food until 1 year old b/c of sodium and fat.  So, if you keep it healthier foods w/o gravies, sauces, etc., and cook the food down a little more, Keira might be fine with it. 

megera - thanks!  I always forget to google acronyms, plus I figure it might mean several things depending on the forum.  It's always exciting to see the baby in the u/s. 

Oh, I had a question about ear piercing.  When did folks let their get their daughters' ears pierced?  Around here, a lot of folks do it when the girls are still infants.  I didn't do that, but now #1 notices other girls'/women's earrings and talks about it.  But, I am not sure if at 4 years old, she'll be okay with the pain of the piercing and the several week-long healing process (not to mention the twisting and swabbing).  I'm inclined to wait until she's 6 years old or so.

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1345 - 04/01/09 12:55 PM

We mash/cut up some foods, it depends what it is.  She's got 2 teeth (lower front) and I've given up trying to figure out when the rest are coming in.  She's gotten pretty good at gumming the finger foods that we do give her and she's obviously enjoying some of them. 

My older sister got both her daughters ears pierced early on.  When they started playing sports like soccer and v-ball, they couldn't wear earrings.  One of the girls had her holes close repeatedly and my sister finally told her she wasn't getting them re-pierced again until she was willing and able to take care of them herself. 

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digginouttadebt
Message #1346 - 04/01/09 01:21 PM

Boo- Personally, we will wait until DD is old enough to completely take care of them herself (reminding to turn and such is OK, but I am not going to do it for her).  She's fairly mature, so I am thinking around age 8, but we will see when the time comes.  I just have so much to do that I don't want to take on taking care of earrings yet.  I can barely get my own in my ears! 

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MittenKitten
Message #1347 - 04/01/09 02:09 PM



Boo:  I am not piercing DDs ears until she is in her teens.  I had mine done at 12 or 13 when I could take care of them myself.  Before that I don't know that they will be good about taking care of them and you would always have to be checking that they weren't infected etc.  I think 6 is too young as I know how well my soon to be 6 YO washes his hands etc and I can only assume that would be the same for making sure earrings are sterile and the piercings are clean. 

Foods DD refused to eat babyfood so she has been eating chunky table food since she was 10 months I would say.  maybe a little before.  Started with Chereos (spellling?) then just moved on.  She is doing great with them and was doing just fine without teeth also.  She loves croutons (DF gives them to her) and isn't bothered by them being hard on her gums.  She is teething tons now.  Went from no teeth to 6 erruped in 3 weeks and more on the way.  I can't have her pictures done for her one year (April 16th) until the drool rash goes away!

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goddessofrock
Message #1348 - 04/01/09 05:49 PM



Mitten~~

 

Me and my sister got our ears pierced when I was 7 and she was 5. we never had any problems with cleaning them. My mom told us we needed to clean our earrings every couple of days until we switched them and then we needed to clean them and our ears at least once a week with rubbing alcohol.

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Holly Smith
Message #1349 - 04/01/09 06:09 PM

E will have to be old enough to pay for it herself and convince me that she's mature enough to do it all by herself.  I had my ears pierced at 11 and it was one infection after the other.  I haven't worn them in 14 years and I still get infections.  I wash my hands of it, so if she wants them, she's on her own.

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boos_mom
Message #1350 - 04/01/09 07:13 PM



Thanks for all the feedback.  I'm also a bit worried that she could have a reaction to the earring posts.  I hardly wear earrings, but when I try to wear gold earrings, my earlobes get really itchy and red when I put in the earrings.  I think the itchiness subsides, but usually I just take them off.  If I use those sensitive earrings (nickel free), it's usually somewhat better.  My platinum earrings are screwbacks, so those are a hassle and cause some redness when putting them on.  #1 has sensitive skin like me, so I am inclined to think she might have similar issues with earrings.  I guess I'd have to check to see if the piercing earrings have sensitive posts as well, just in case.  

mitten - wow! 1 year already.  I feel like I'm in some weird sci-fi movie.  Time feels like it goes by slowly, but at the same time, it seems like warp speed.

[Virgil Showlion]

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1351 - 04/01/09 08:18 PM

I got my ears pierced when I was 9. By then, I had been setting my alarm, getting myself up, picking out an outfit, dressing myself, fixing my hair, and fixing my breakfast and lunch, without even seeing one of my parents, for 2 years.  That will be my criteria if I have a daughter.  If she can't be trusted to do non-painful tasks on a daily basis then I'm not about to trust her to do something painful on a regular basis. 

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1352 - 04/02/09 03:26 AM

I got mine pierced when I was 8.  They did it at the doctor's office with a little punch thingy.  Obviously, at 8, I thought I was dying of the pain but it really wasn't that bad and it subsided quickly.  I'd be more inclined to do it there than a place like Claire's.  I did have to wear the sensitive ears nickel-free earrings.  I'm not sure if the selection has increased a lot since then (this was approx. 17 years ago - I'm 25 now) but when I was growing up, the only sensitive ears ones I could really find were kind of "old lady-ish."  Just far more grown-up looking than an 8-yo would want to wear, ya know?  So I'd look into that in case she has to go that route. 

I only got one infection or two because I didn't clean them as regularly as I should have but the holes have never closed up.  I have always been a girly girl and I wear earrings more often than not.

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anne81
Message #1353 - 04/02/09 11:16 AM

I got my ears pierced when I was 7.  No infections but the holes closed up because I wasn't into wearing earrings (after all that begging too!).  To this day I wear earrings maybe once a year and have to pop through a thin membrane that grows over to put them in. Icky, I know.

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abundanceandprosperity
Message #1354 - 04/03/09 02:46 PM

Quick question for you mothers...my doc says to schedule an ultrasound between 6 and 10 weeks.  They may do two (at 7 and 9 because of previous miscarriage).  Problem is my DH is out of town from week 8-10.  Should I go ahead with an ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks?  I would be really worried if it was too early to measure the heart rate!  I know if I go later, the heart rate is more likely to register but then I would have to go to the appointment alone (we are not telling anyone in real-life except my mother and she is a plane ride away).  What would you do?  Did any of you have an ultrasound at 7 weeks?  What was your experience?  Oh, I got the great word today that my betas are rising really well.  I am over 6,000 at 5 weeks, 2 days!

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Holly Smith
Message #1355 - 04/03/09 02:58 PM

I had a u/s at 7w5d, and it looked great.  You can't see too much, but if their equipment is up to snuff you should easily see/hear a heartbeat by then.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1356 - 04/03/09 02:59 PM

My ob/gyn did an u/s when we first went in to see him, about 4 weeks ago.  We thought I was about 9 weeks along and I turned out to be 6w1d.  He didn't get a heartbeat at first, we had to use the vaginal probe to get it.  My impression is that the heart starts beating around the end of week 5/start of week 6 and it's slow (we got a 90.)  So you should be able to get a heartbeat, you just may have to be probed!  Dr. Todd wanted us back in 2 weeks to do another u/s, to make sure everything was progressing ok.  So I had a 2nd u/s at 8 weeks.  The u/s showed what looked like 2 heartbeats, so I got probed again to make sure there was only 1 baby in there.  Heartbeat was 167 this time.  So I would go ahead and schedule the u/s for 7-7.5 weeks so your DH can see it. 

My next u/s is the big one, where they do the nichal translucency screening next week.  So it's a nice 45 minute look at the baby. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1357 - 04/03/09 03:01 PM

Oh, and Holly's right, we did the u/s on the little portable machine in my Dr's office.  At 6 weeks, Dr. Todd was frankly amazed he got a heartbeat at all, which is why I think it forms around week5/6. 

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boos_mom
Message #1358 - 04/03/09 06:23 PM

Go with DH; 7 1/2 weeks should be fine to do the u/s.  I think we did our first one in the ob's office at 8 weeks, and we got a good heart rate measure.  For the 12 week and 18 week u/s, we had the advanced 4-D machine at the specialist's office for fetal screening measurements.  It's such a truly special moment seeing the little bean at that first u/s.

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abundanceandprosperity
Message #1359 - 04/03/09 06:47 PM

Thanks for the feedback.  I've gone ahead and scheduled the u/s at 7 1/2 weeks.  My levels are actually really high and the dr. office said I may be farther along than I think or there could be multiples!  I definitely want DH there.  If I have to go again, so be it, and who knows maybe my mom would fly down for that one  

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1360 - 04/03/09 06:53 PM

Yeah, my DH made all the u/s appts but 1 with my 1st pregnancy.  The one he missed was the 4D one.  I'm hoping for this pregnancy he can make all the u/s appts. 

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What a Catch
Message #1361 - 04/03/09 10:28 PM



I guess I'm not the norm with the ear piercing - I was a BABY when my mom had mine done.  She was taking my sister (she's 15 months older than me) to get it done, so she had them do me, too.  She said she let me gnaw on a piece of pizza crust and I didn't even make a peep.

 

LOL reading that my mom doesn't sound like the best mom - but I survived, and if I have a daughter will definitely do hers when she is an infant.

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #1362 - 04/07/09 03:19 PM

 if I have a daughter will definitely do hers when she is an infant.

I don't know.  I kinda like the idea of ear piercing being a rite of passage, and introduction to the world where you torture yourself to look pretty.  I also don't want to get involved in disinfecting the ears.  If they get infected, then it is a good chance for a lesson on personal responsibility.   

[Virgil Showlion]

Amazon Hunter
Message #1363 - 04/07/09 03:48 PM

I hate earrings, personally.  They cause so much trouble.  With my 2 daughters, they got their ears pierced when they were older and we've had infections, lost earrings, holes that are too big because of darn dangly earrings.  I'm glad they were older because as a little one it would be just one more thing to do each day, that I certainly wouldn't have the energy or time to do.   I guess I'm a lazy parent. lol.

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #1364 - 04/07/09 04:42 PM

There's something to be said for being a lazy parent.  Kids end up being more self-reliant and learn early on that actions have consequences.  For example, I stopped catching my 15 month old when he tried climbing off my lap.  After a few bumps and bruises, he is now a very careful climber.  I'm a firm believer in letting kids fall on their faces as long as they won't come to great harm. 

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Amazon Hunter
Message #1365 - 04/07/09 10:36 PM

There's something to be said for being a lazy parent.  Kids end up being more self-reliant and learn early on that actions have consequences. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!    All kidding aside, I don't think I need to cater to my kids' every whim.  "I'm sorry you can't tie your shoe, but have you tried to tie it?  We taught you how 2 years ago..."  "Mom, we don't know what to do outside, can we come in and watch tv?  Um, no you can't.  Go outside and figure it out."  Of course, my kids are 11 and 8, so I can do that without worrying about them running into the non-existant traffic on my street.  We are looking to have another baby early next year, so it will be interesting to start from the beginning and I may change my attitude a bit, but I certainly hope not.  Back to the original topic and my comments regarding earrings, I told my daughters that if they wanted pierced ears, they could get them, but it was their responsibility to properly care for them.  If they didn't, then I would have them close up.  I, of course, showed them how and supervised until they could do it on their own.

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Shelly527IN
Message #1366 - 04/08/09 12:24 AM



Ear piercing:  I got my ears pieced the day before my 10th b-day.  I took care of them by myself. The only assistance I remember my mom giving me was looking at them because I couldn't see if they were okay in the mirror.  I'm not a mom (someday maybe!), but I would not want to worry about pierced ears on a baby.  I would wait until about 10 when they can take care of them.  I work with pre-schoolers and a lot of time earrings are treated like toys.  The girls play with them and lose them.

 

Heartbeat:  I don't know when the heartbeat can be heard by the Dr., but from Child Development classes I remember that the heart starts beating at 25 days.  Not to get political or religious, but that's one problem I've always had about abortion. IMHO Once you stop something's heart from beating, haven't you killed it?   

 

Please don't bash me!

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MittenKitten
Message #1367 - 04/10/09 04:06 AM



Shelly:  Everyone has different opinions and their right to them.  I wouldn't bash you even though I am not sure I feel the same way.  I do however understand where you are coming from. 

Well we now have a climber in our living room.  (It is a formal living room and really not used) the kids LOVE it.  I am hoping it will stop DS#2 (who is autistic and will be 3 in May) from climbing everything. 

I am probably in the middle of being over protective and lazy.  I escape to the den for a while most days (probably all) yet it is hard to let DS#1 deal with some things in life.  We know it is a matter of time before DS#2 gets stitches but honestly the child climbs EVERY THING and we can't stop him. 

So DS#2 started his autism preschool on Monday, it was tough to get him off on the bus that first morning but he seems to be doing really well.  He comes home happy and that is great to see.  next week we will resume Occupation Therapy, we took a break this week.  His therapist will be delighted that we bought the climber.

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anne81
Message #1368 - 04/14/09 01:11 PM

Miittenkitten - I'm glad that your son is enjoying his new school.  I hope OT is going well too.

I was wondering when you switch from the infant seats to a larger carseat.  We have the chicco one and it's supposed to go up to 30 lbs but DS cries whenever he's in it.  The whole time I'm driving.  Last week he cried for an hour straight.  DS is a big kid - 3 1/2 months, almost 20 lbs, and over 26 inches.  His shoulders touch the sides.

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1369 - 04/14/09 02:10 PM

Anne, we switched car seats around 9 months.  Keira fussed whenever we put her in the infant seat, so we moved then.  It was awful because it was Jan/Feb. and still cold and snowy here.  I bought her a heavy coat and covered her with a blanket to get to the garage.  I'm so glad the weather is better now.  It's still cold, but not winter anymore. 

Mittenkitten, the climber sounds like fun.  Can you post a picture sometime?  Is the climber supposed to help with the autism somehow (you said his therapist will be please)?  I don't know much about it, so forgive me if it's a dumb question. 

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Holly Smith
Message #1370 - 04/14/09 11:25 PM

Anne, I switched Elizabeth out of her Chicco Keyfit around 9-10 months, and I was glad I did it.  She didn't want to be as reclined as the infant seat requires.  She still fits in it easily (at 16.5 lbs) so we can give it to my bro and SIL when they come to take her out for the day, but for the most part she uses a convertible carseat.  I think her convertible (a Britax Boulevard) is more comfortable for her anyway.

Remember that you still must keep him rear-facing until he is at least a year, if not longer.

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boos_mom
Message #1371 - 04/15/09 04:45 AM



anne - does the chicco have a maximum length?  At your DS size, I would switch him to a convertible seat.  The convertibles seem to be more padded, better viewing, and the babies seem to be happier than in the infant seats.  We have the Britax Marathon, but the Evenflo Triumph seemed well-rated and super comfy as well as the Britax.  We keep our kids rear-facing until 18 months.  My pediatrician said she kept her kids rear-facing until they were 2 years old, just because their necks still aren't strong enough even after 1 year old.

mitten - glad to hear DS2 is enjoying preschool and progressing well.

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MittenKitten
Message #1372 - 04/20/09 06:55 PM



Here is the climber:  [www.littletikes.com/toys/endless-adventures-adjustable-mountain-climber.aspx] climber 

If DS is not comfortable switch him.  The convertable ones can be used very early.  DS#1 we waited until 9 or 10 months, DS#2 about one year but we needed to wait as DS#1 was using the carseat DS#2 would be going into.  Had to put DS#1 into a booster seat a little earlier then I wanted but it worked out okay (it was 2 months before he turned 4). 

DS#2 has intense sensory issues.  The climber helps as he has a need to climb everything.  Here is a clip of a family that has autism from the Today show:  [www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/30244450#30244450] Autism Sensory Needs 

 

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goddessofrock
Message #1373 - 04/21/09 05:17 PM



Well this was a big long weekend...

 

AJ decided he HATED his bassinet... he moves his arms while sleeping sometimes and would accidentally punch the sides and wake himself up!

 

So I set up the crib bedding and put him in there... which makes him cry. He was waking up every time I put him down. But I got him to sleep in there for 4 hours last night until it started raining really hard and pelting the windows... (not sure if he woke up because of that or hunger...)

 

and he started rolling over a lot on Sunday... so DH and I went out and got an area rug so he's not rolling around on the wood floor. YAY!

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1374 - 04/21/09 05:47 PM

Ok, I've seen those climbers.  They look like fun! 

And the clip was interesting, thanks for sharing. 

Good job AJ!

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1375 - 04/23/09 09:15 PM

mittenkitten - hope your son is enjoying his cimber

goddess - congrats on the rolling over!  I can't even get DS to lay on his tummy for more than a minute.

Thanks for the advice on the convertible seat. We bought the true fit and it's been much better.  He still cries but only on long trips.  He likes sitting up higher so he can see out the window.

We remeasured him and he's almost 21 lbs and 27 inches at 16 weeks.  How do you know when to start solids?  I've read that their digestive system can't handle it until 6 months but he stares when we eat and makes sucking/chewing motions with his mouth.  He follows our food with his eyes.  He's still getting up to eat every couple of hours, I think because he's growing so fast.

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sbcaligirl
Message #1376 - 04/24/09 12:10 AM



My little one arrived almost two weeks ago now!  Our DD arrived April 11th at 7:32 am after 24 hours of labor  in addition two two previous false labors and three days of mild contractions prior to 4-11.  Though the last few weeks of pregnancy were really tough, they were definitely worth it for her.  We named her Elliana Marie and she is just adorable.  We're really, really lucky because so far she has been really agreeable.  She eats well, she sleeps well and is a generally mellow baby. 

Our only problem was with breastfeeding but that was somewhat expected.  I have really, really low supply  because of a prior breast reduction so she's going to be formula fed with some breast milk each day.  I'm trying the fenugreek to get my supply up a bit but the lactation consultant doubts it will help since its more of a gland issue than a hormonal one but I want to know I've tried everything I can.  She did get the colustrum while we were in the hospital because for some reason I had tons of that  but alas very little milk.  On the plus side though, she's doing great on formula and hasn't had any major issues with it.

She's also incredibly alert and active for such a young one.  The pediatrician even commented on it at the hospital and at her first checkup.  She already makes eye contact, looks around, has quite a lot of expressions etc.  I swear she already smiles!  I know everyone says this, but I can't imagine how I could love someone so much after just a few short days but I am completely in love with her and am just fascinated by watching her!

Solid foods: We have a friend with a little boy who was having similar growth issues and was starving ALL the time.  Mom was bf him and was having to feed almost every hour or so which was pretty tough.  At 4-4.5 months they started adding baby cereal to the breast milk she pumped, especially at night so she could get some sleep.  He did absolutely fine with the cereal and had zero issues.  They checked with the ped. beforehand who just said give it a try and see what happens....it made their lives much easier and helped ease the pains of having such a growing boy!

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New-Mummy
Message #1377 - 04/24/09 12:12 AM

anne81: My brother started solids when he reached over and grabbed it.  My son, pretty well the same way.  I want to say it was somewhere around when his first tooth came in, 5 months-ish I think.  They don't get nutrition from it so much at first as learning how to handle solid foods.  Your son may be one of the early eaters, some kids are.  The barley teething biscuits were great for my son to hang on to and chew without quite as much mess, also things like mashed potatoes, sweet potato, turnip, cooked "baby" carrots.  Boy it's weird thinking of him that small now since tonight he was insisting he could cut his own chicken...

SBCaliGirl: congratulations.  There is a tea I had which had fenugreek, anise, and chamomile in it, seemed to work great (had problems getting lactation to finally STOP when he weaned) that was made by Yogi Teas I think, worked as a double whammy because of herbs and forcing you to drink extra fluids if you were going to take it.  Might want to check it out in case. But as long as the baby is getting fed and growing, don't let anybody beat you up about HOW.

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goddessofrock
Message #1378 - 04/24/09 01:39 PM



Congrats SBCALIGIRL!!

 

Is anyone else sleep deprived and wanting to strangle their DH?

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1379 - 04/24/09 01:49 PM

Congratulations sbcaligirl!   

We started Keira on solids at 5 months.  We got the goahead at the 4.5+ month well baby visit and had to figure out how and when we wanted to start.  I'd talk to the doctor and see what he/she recommends. 

I was, but eventually got over it.  Although the wanting to strangle him still comes and goes...

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Hoya_lawya
Message #1380 - 04/24/09 02:58 PM



SBCaliGirl:

 

Have you tried oatmeal?  It really helped me a lot when I was having decreased supply from pumping.  Beer also helped too (especially the thick stuff like Guinness), but you have to wait for it to leave your system before feeding/pumping (I would drink one at night when DS started sleeping through).

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1381 - 04/24/09 03:03 PM

sbcaligirl - congrats!  Glad you both are well.  I tried the fenugreek.  You have to take enough to smell like maple syrup but I noticed a difference within 3 days.  Are  you using a feeding tube that runs to your nipple?  I've never tried it but some of the women I was chatting with did.  It stimulates your nipples at the same time that you are feeding formula so your supply doesn't drop.

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boos_mom
Message #1382 - 04/24/09 08:24 PM



Congrats sbcali!  Elliana is a beautiful name.  Enjoy her and don't stress too much about the BF-ing.  The most important thing is bonding with her.

anne - our pediatrician recommends 5 months for baby cereal and then 6 months old for veggies and fruits.  Check with your pediatrician.  How much milk is DS consuming?  He's a big baby!    #2 was 21 lbs 1 oz and 29.5 inches at his 9 month check up.  And everyone thinks #2 is big. 

goddess - yes, I'm still sleep deprived, but that's because I'm still torturing myself and pumping at night.  I am thinking to stop pumping maybe end of next month when #2 is almost 11 months, and I have some milk frozen so that should take him up to 12 months.  And, I think wanting to strangle DH is more b/c I'm jealous he gets to have long, uninterrupted sleep and his talent for sleeping through anything.  Wow, AJ is turning over already!

#2 is getting a few more teeth, and he's starting to nip at me a little more often when he is still latched on.  If the trend continues, I might wean him earlier than my above plan.  I yelp and scold and take him off, but he seems to think it's funny.  Hard to get mad at the little charmer and his smile.  Grrrrr.  I have to start giving him milk in a sippy cup, or else he may be like #1 and fight tooth and nail during the transition from bottle. 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1383 - 04/24/09 09:14 PM



Thanks for all the tips on bf'ing.  I'm definitely trying not to stress about it - I was really, really upset about it when we first got home from the hospital and things stopped working and all it did was make it worse.  I'm just taking things as they come now which is easier to do since my hormones are raging a tad less than right after the delivery .  It also helps that we saw a lactation consultant to get latching instruction.  Since then she's latched almost every time we tried so we solved one of the two issues.  I also think my supply is increasing a tad with the herbs, the pumping and putting her to the breast several times a day.  She actually just bf'ed for 30 minutes  which is the longest since we left the hospital!  It also helps that she's right on track for height, weight etc so its obvious the formula is working for her.  We actually just got back from the doctor and she's already grown 3/4 of an inch!  She's 90th% for height and head circ. and 50th % for weight so it looks like we were right that she was gonna be long and lean like her papa.

I too want to strangle DH sometimes - like when he got her dressed and forgot her diaper - but I try to laugh instead. The one thing that drives me nuts is when he wakes her up because he is being too loud.  She's a sound sleeper so it's hard to wake her up once she's really asleep so we instituted a new rule that if he wakes her he has to get her back to sleep or deal with her fussiness.  It is absolutely amazing how much quieter he's become since then .

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boos_mom
Message #1384 - 04/24/09 09:19 PM

sbcali - that's our rule too, kind of "you woke 'em, you buy 'em".  DH is much more aware of his jingling keys and door opening and closing when baby is sleeping. 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1385 - 04/24/09 10:53 PM



I'm also trying very hard not to criticize DH when he does things with the baby, even if I don't think they're perfect.  I've heard from so many dads that they just give up trying to help since their wives just criticize everything they do that I don't want that to happen.  If it isn't impeding her safety, I just keep my mouth shut.  Sometimes I ask if he wants help if he looks like he's struggling but otherwise I try to let him do is thing.  Although last night we both burst out laughing when he tried to put her in a onesie for the first time.  He didn't know to stretch the head and bunch up the body so he ended up totally encasing her face and getting it stuck.  We both laughed so hard it was a very good stress relief!

Has anyone else had to bite their tongue when DH is "helping"?

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boos_mom
Message #1386 - 04/25/09 12:26 AM



sbcali - If his caretaking style does not agree with you, it's probably easiest to have periods of time where you leave the house so you won't have to be there to 'bite' your tongue and it'll give him some intense bonding time.  Take a walk, run a quick errand, make a little time for yourself.  It's pretty common for the woman to have a differing caretaking style than the man.  But, you'll be glad for this as DD grows up.  But, if leaving the house is not an option yet, then just try to stay in separate areas of the house and don't peek in to check up on him and DD.  

DH was a bit wary of the newborn stage.  He was terrified he would drop #1 or cause some injury b/c newborns seemed so fragile to him.  With #2, he was a lot more hands-on and not so scared.  I'm a little sad that #2 is growing up quickly, but I'm also happy that we can move into the walking (or should I say running) and talking phases soon.  I do love that baby smell though!

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1387 - 04/25/09 12:40 AM

SBCaliGirl, you may want to try taking fenugreek with blessed thistle, another supplement.  They seem to work better when used together.

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The Reflector - WIR
Message #1388 - 04/26/09 02:23 AM



As far as being bitten while BFing, what worked for both my girls was to say a sharp "NO!" right away and put them down on the floor for a minute.  They both cried and got very upset.  After a few times they associated biting with having their comfort taken away.  DD1 reformed after about a day, DD2 took about 3 days.  After that I had no problems with biting.

I have recently weaned DD2 and due to her sensitive stomach she's drinking rice milk.  I'm spending about $12 a week on it and I have to make sure to suppliment her diet by hiding egg yolks in her food.  BFing was so much cheaper but my supply was running out and I was starting to get really irritated while feeding her - I kept having the urge to throw her across the room!  My mom says that's my body's way of saying to stop putting resources into this baby so I can gear up to have another baby.  Or maybe that's my mom's way of hinting that she wants a third grandbaby!

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Jess H
Message #1389 - 04/26/09 02:41 AM

Regarding DH helping- now that I'm a mom, I have realized I'm the kind of person who likes to just do things myself because no one else will do it "right".  Right after our daughter was born I had a hard time letting him do certain things because I thought I could do it better (although to be honest, he had a lot more experience with little ones than I did!).  It frustrated him and we had a few arguments about it.  I got over it, and now we have a pretty even split of parenting duties- although he is still a little more lax about certain things.  Grr...

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Holly Smith
Message #1390 - 04/26/09 05:44 PM

Has anyone else had to bite their tongue when DH is "helping"?

I had so many people say that my DH wouldn't be able to do anything with her, so I was really careful not to second-guess him unless it was a safety issue.  It was plum necessary in the beginning since I was recovering from pre-eclampsia and a c/s.  He is very confident with her now.

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MittenKitten
Message #1391 - 04/28/09 01:58 AM



Reflector:  Watch out on the rice milk.  DS#2 who has autism does not do well on cows milk but his developmental peditrician told us that there may be arsnec in the rice milk.  He eats lot of cheese and eggs and about a glass of rice milk a day. 

Biting ones tongue:  Yup have done that plenty and still do.  Men's minds just don't work the same way.  Although after 4 kids (3 with me 1 with ex wife) he does pretty well.  Now if he could just pick up his dirty socks....

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livingalmostlarge
Message #1392 - 04/28/09 01:50 PM

How long did it take people to get pregnant?  Can I ask such a rude question?  I apologize in advance if it's too nosy.

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1393 - 04/28/09 02:15 PM

How long did it take people to get pregnant?

It took three months for me, although one of those months was when DH and I were chaperoning high-school Girl Scouts across Europe, so that cycle was a bust.  So technically it took two cycles.

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MuttleynFelix
Message #1394 - 04/28/09 02:53 PM

How long did it take people to get pregnant? 

I'll let you know next week.  

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livingalmostlarge
Message #1395 - 04/28/09 03:48 PM

Good luck mutt! 

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1396 - 04/28/09 03:53 PM

How long did it take people to get pregnant?

 

I guess DH and I are very fertile.  We decided to start trying after the holidays because we thought it might take awhile since we're both a little older, and I had been on Depo Provera for several years.  It turned out there wasn't much trying involved.  It took one try and our little one is on his/her way in October!  We're going to find out if it's a boy or girl next month.

 

I have a good friend who is pregnant and has the exact same due date as me, and it took her two years to get pregnant.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1397 - 04/28/09 03:54 PM

Has anyone else had to bite their tongue when DH is "helping"?

Yep, I try to relax and let him figure it out.  He knows I'm available for advice/help, but I did tell him that I was trying to let him bond/learn so if he was stuck, he'd need to ask.  He's never been around kids much and I have one of those huge extended fairly close families where there always seems to be a baby around!  So we're both learning how to let him be a Dad.  He's doing pretty good.  He's a bit more cautious than I am, which is probably a good thing.  And since I'm pregnant with #2, I need him to be able to deal with #1.  Now I just need him to figure out that with a walking baby, he can't parent sitting on the couch anymore! 

How long it takes people to get pregnant varies.  Some are extremely fertile and others, well, aren't.  I got pregnant the first time while I on the pill.  I got careless, but since DH and I were both told we'd need medical help to get pregnant/father children, we didn't worry about it.  This one, we figured we're run the risks of no bc while I was bfing.  We either won or lost, depending on one's viewpoint...  lol.  I would recommend going in for a general checkup/physical with an ob/gyn, just to make sure that everything is ok.  That way when you're ready to TTC, you won't get any surprises. 

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Brooke_in_CO
Message #1398 - 04/28/09 04:25 PM



How fast to conceive?  In my family, 3 sisters had success on the first try, regardless of age (twenties-thirties).  SIL took 1 try.  My best friend took 1 try for both her kids.  I am surrounded by Fertile Myrtles.  It took us 6 months.  Good friend of mine went off BC same week I did (we didn't know it at the time).  It took her 7 months.  Another good friend took 2+ yrs.  No known health issues/complications for anyone involved - no fertility measures involved.  So it is all over the map.

We went into it with the attitude of "try for at least a year before even considering seeing a doctor for a fertility wellness check."  That was with knowing my family history of rapid success, so a year seemed long, but for others, I think that is a fairly short time window to attempt.  If you get yourself all stressed out with worrying about it taking "too much time" it doesn't help anyone.

For us, the 6 month delay ended up being a blessing for many reasons.  Sometimes I think our bodies know what is best above and beyond the heart/mind.  I think my body could predict the future and that's why it held out a little longer.  So here I sit, waiting for little girl to peek her face out in August...

[Virgil Showlion]

digginouttadebt
Message #1399 - 04/28/09 04:48 PM

How long did it take people to get pregnant?

DD #1 took two cycles, but we weren't very...active the first cycle.  Second cycle I estimated when I would ovulate and we did the deed every other day (read somewhere that 48 hrs gives maximum sperm counts).  Got pregnant first cycle off BC this time (due in June) doing the same ovulation estimation, 48 hours thing.  It makes me happy I was so careful when I didn't want to get pregnant because I had no troubles conceiving.

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anne81
Message #1400 - 04/28/09 05:28 PM

We got pregnant the first cycle I charted, temped, used the ovulation strips, and were very active.  I'm a bit of planner.

I have trouble with DH sometimes too.  I feel he isn't as responsive to the baby's signals as I am.  I hear his revving up noises and jump in to head off the crying.  DH, not so much.  Also I get irritated because DH has no clue about the million little things I do every day, like refill all the wipes cases, top off the diaper bag, wash and sterilize the bottles, etc.  Also I'm tired of him complaining about the lack of sleep when I get half as much!

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sbcaligirl
Message #1401 - 04/28/09 05:55 PM

We also got pregnant the first cycle we tried but that was also after being off bc for 4-5 months and charting my cycle for 3 months prior to actively ttc.  I actually thought it woudl take us forever to get pregnant since I'm somewhat of a pessimist but planned for best case scenario of getting pregnant immediately. 

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1402 - 04/28/09 06:27 PM

Also I'm tired of him complaining about the lack of sleep when I get half as much!

I stopped that in a hurry when I was bfing DD.  DH whined about being tired and I just looked at him and said something about how I could wake him up everytime I got up with DD (4-6 times a night.)  Needless to say, that was just about the last time he whined about being tired. 

I do know someone on the msn pregnancy board who has spent the last 7 years trying to get pregnant.  She did rounds of infertility treatments and stuff and finally she gave up.  Well, she's about 17 weeks pregnant now.  Oh, she has a 9 year old too. 

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kristi28
Message #1403 - 04/28/09 06:34 PM



Wow - a lot of you took only one month!  I thought that we were extremely lucky; it took us two months.  Like another poster, we aren't exactly 21, and I had a known history of various gynecological problems, so I still thought that was great.

 

Anne - that is funny about your DH.  I have the opposite problem with mine.  If baby girl so much as starts to whimper, he is right there to do something about it.  Problem is, baby girl actually needs to cry about it for a minute or two.  She can't seem to take a good nap unless she carries on for a minute or two first.  And she is the only baby I've ever heard of who can actually cry in her sleep.  He accidentally wakes her up all the time by trying to give her the paci when she really isn't even awake and would stop in less that 60 seconds if he would let her alone.  I guess it is just hard when you feel that you know what your baby needs and DH keeps doing the opposite.

 

Any pointers about feeding solids?  We started baby girl at about 4.5 months, per her doctors suggestion.  She did pretty well for several weeks, although she really doesn't swallow all that much of the food (maybe I'm just a first time mom with unrealistic expectations?)  Now we are getting a ton of resistance to some of her spoon feedings; others she is all smiles and eats great.  I try to make sure she isn't too hungry when we start; I think that she would just rather have a bottle and skip the spoon, although she seems to like both the rice and oatmeal cereals when she agrees to eat them.

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livingalmostlarge
Message #1404 - 04/28/09 07:14 PM

Wow if people get pregnant in their first cycle, that would support the hypothesis that it's easy to get pregnant while being careless on birth control?

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1405 - 04/28/09 07:39 PM

We took about 10 months before conceiving #1 (we weren't actively trying for the 2 months prior to starting, used back-up; wanted to clear my system of the BC pills).  For #2, it was about 8 months (although it was only the second month after using the ovulation sticks).  It really depends on the woman.  I've never had regular cycles until I went on BC.  Sometimes I only had a period every few months.  I anticipated it taking time.  My OB said she would refer us to a fertility specialist after TTC for 12 months.  I'd recommend ovulation sticks if you're in a hurry.  I never used them for #1, as I wasn't really in hurry to get pregnant the first time around. 

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goddessofrock
Message #1406 - 04/28/09 07:55 PM



re: getting pregnant: AJ was an oopsie!

 

I was on the pill, took anti-malarials, and went to Brasil for 2 weeks by myself.

 

We conceived the day I got home and didn't know until my missed period a month later...

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MittenKitten
Message #1407 - 04/28/09 08:19 PM



Feeding solids:  Some babies will never eat baby food.  DD just pushed it all out of her mouth.  Around 9 months we just started feeding her little bits of what we ate.  Saved me a fortune!  Both DSs ate baby food no problem.  Baby food is really just practice for them, they still get all their nutrients from formula or BFing. 

TTC:  Hmmmm, One the month I went off the pill and were using protection (foreplay can be dangerous!), one the 1st month of TTC and 1 surprise using protection.  Now DF is fixed .  I should really make sure he goes and gets checked it took.....

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Meg - Mommy to Averie
Message #1408 - 04/29/09 12:09 AM

DH and I got pregnant on the first cycle.  We calculated approximately when I would ovulate but we weren't always great about doing it THAT day.  Finally, we knew we really wanted to be pregnant so we actually did it by the schedule - every other night the week that I was ovulating and got pregnant that cycle.  I am due October 28th. 

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Brooke_in_CO
Message #1409 - 04/29/09 05:27 PM



Anyone got suggestions for what to register for?  I HATE registering for gifts, as I know I could find most stuff used for cheaper and don't want people to waste their money (even though they WANT to buy stuff).  It is very likely that most big ticket items (crib, car seat, stroller, pack n play, breast pump, etc) will be coming from family as hand me downs (and yes, all safety/recall/expiration checks will be made).  I have gotten hand-me-down clothes, bouncy seats, infant tubs, etc from co-workers and live in a crazy baby-making neighborhood where I can get all the other stuff on the mega cheap at community/garage sales.  I am set for clothes...probably through 6 months - which is INSANE seeing as I'm not due until August.

Is it wrong to register for various size diapers, baby care items (shampoo, diaper cream, etc), breast pump accessories, nipples (already have bottles) etc?  It seems terribly tacky, but that's what we NEED.  If I don't register for anything I'm afraid we'll get clothes (which we DON'T need).  Because we live 1000 miles from my fam/friends and 2000 miles from DH's, I'm afraid that people will go overboard on the gifts at the shower since this is their "only chance".  I feel like I need to give them some variety to pick from.  The only other thing I could think of was a baby monitor.  I'm looking to the experts for suggestions on immediate items as well as items that could possibly come in handy further down the line (first year or later)...

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1410 - 04/29/09 05:38 PM

I don't think it's nuts or tacky to register for what you need.  I wish I'd registered for some toys and clothes for 6+ or 9+.  I don't know that I'd go with used bottles, unless you can determine that they're BPA free, but that's one of my paranoid mom things! 

I sort of wish we had gotten a video monitor.  I didn't think it was necessary when I was registering.  I HATE sneaking into DD's room to check on her, so I don't.  But there are times when I wish I could see what she's doing/what position she's sleeping in. 

Oh, and test drive your strollers.  We registered for one based SOLELY on it being a good fit for DH's height.  Well, other than that, we hate it.  I'm going stroller shopping soon to replace it.  I'm debating if I want to get the double stroller now or buy yet another stroller in 2010...

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1411 - 04/29/09 07:17 PM

Also I get irritated because DH has no clue about the million little things I do every day, like refill all the wipes cases, top off the diaper bag, wash and sterilize the bottles, etc. 

Yes, getting everything refilled, prepped and/or ready takes a lot of forethought, which DH does not seem to do.  Whenever we're going out, I'm running around getting babyfood, water, snacks, utensils, bib, clothes, diapers, wipes, burp cloth, light blanket, etc. all packed up.  DH has trouble just getting himself ready and out the door (since he sleeps in later on the weekends).  It can be very disheartening. But I know how DH's parents are, so I must admit that DH does way more than his father ever did in terms of child-rearing.  So, I'm happy with that.  As the kids get older, he's going to have more opportunities to make up for all the time and work I put in during the baby years. 

kristi - sounds like you guys need a video monitor!  Then your DH can see baby and see that her eyes are still closed and she's only crying in her sleep.  Both of my kids are very vocal sleepers and rouse during the nights but put themselves back to sleep.  With the video monitor, I could just check and see they are okay but leave them be. 

brooke - first, I would make sure that all of the big stuff you get as hand-me-downs are stuff that work for you.  We had a hand-me-down pack n play, but DH didn't like it after setting it up a couple of times, it just was tricky/difficult to open up and take down, plus it was heavy.  We ended up giving it to a friend who needed one, and got something easier to use and lighter.  Also, I agree with Beth that the stroller is important and if the used one doesn't fit your needs, you're better off getting one that does.  And also keep in mind who will be using the stroller the most, and get what that person needs.  The one who uses it less really has second priority.  And I definitely recommend video monitors to folks.  I didn't think I needed one until we got a hand-me-down and it's the best, especially at night when you're dead tired.  Otherwise, check out baby boutique stores.  They usually have neat items that aren't in the regular stores, like this snack pack and go -- multiple little plastic containers that stack and clip onto each other, you can store formula powder, baby cereal, snacks, etc. and they all stay together rather than all separate containers.  Don't forget the baby sling (e.g. baby bjorn) and the bumbo (we got as a gift and is pretty cool as a portable feeding chair).  Oh, and if you're only getting a used infant car seat, you could ask for a convertible car seat for when baby is bigger.  We switched #2 to the convertible maybe around 6 months old (still rear-facing though).

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ARMD
Message #1412 - 04/29/09 10:01 PM

brooke-I would definitely register for stuff you need. Your family and those you are close to will realize that the big stuff is already taken care of. I just had my first baby but already had a ton of stuff because I had gotten things from garage sales, as hand me downs, or stuff I bought to use when I watched my niece and nephew when they were little. I also run a home daycare, so I have a ton of stuff that I use for that and can also use for my own baby. I registered for a bunch of small stuff and then let people know that what I really needed was a video monitor, so I really didn't get much at my baby shower since most people gave money to be used for the monitor. Register for whatever you need, as most people will get you whatever they want anyway, but the registry will give them an idea of where to start. Don't be afraid to register for things you won't need right away because it's the things you end up needing down the line that most people don't think about buying you. At most showers, people are thinking about immediate needs that the new baby has and not necessarily future ones. I definitely recommend the video monitor. We have a two story house, and we didn't want to have to run up and down the stairs all the time just to check on baby.

DH irritates me-It irritates me that DH acts like nothing has changed since baby has arrived. She is 3 1/2 months old now, and he still plays his computer game every night from the time he comes home from work until 3 or 4 in the morning some nights. Then, he has the audacity to complain that he doesn't get much sleep. I nipped that in the bud real quick by telling him that I could wake him up every time I got up to feed her. It's his own fault for not going to bed earlier in the first place. It also irritates me that he still won't take the initiative on helping out with household chores, and I don't want him to feel like I'm nagging him. I am not his mother after all. Some men are just clueless or just plain refuse to help. I figure it's just easier to do it myself than to nag him about it or have to go back and redo it anyway. He does help out with baby on occasion, and I try to bite my tongue when he's not holding her "right" or he's being "too rough" or something IMO. However, when he picks her up by her hands, it scares me that he's going to dislocate her shoulders, and I can't help but speak up. At this point in time, I am the one caring for her for the most part. I figure one of these days when she's mobile and a bit bigger, he will probably get his due when she starts crawling up his leg, etc. to get his attention.

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TwoBoys2008
Message #1413 - 04/29/09 10:41 PM



I'm not a regular poster, but I wanted to share a longer TTC story, so if it's taking longer than the popular 1-2 month posts, you don't get discouraged.  Also, I know it's taken other women much longer than myself to get pregnant.  But here's my story:

 

I went of the pill in January 2006 because it was causing irregular bleeding and making me very moody.   We were going to start trying in October. We were very 'loose' with the protection.   I had long 'irregular' (30-40) cycles, but they always showed up.  After I stopped taking the pill, my cycles were even more irregular, 60-80 days.  With the loose protection, several times, I thought I was PG (because of 'lateness'), but wasn't.  In October I started charting, and confirmed that I wasn't ovulating.  In December, I took my charts to my OB/GYN, and she confirmed PCOS.  I was on Metformin for a few months, with no success.  But on my second cycle of Clomid, I conceived my twins, in May 2007.  So 'technically' it took 8 months (October to May), but I feel it took longer (Jan 06 to May 07).  Now my boys are 16 months and I want to start trying again.  But we won't, because we aren't financially ready.

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livingalmostlarge
Message #1414 - 04/30/09 01:58 AM

Thanks a lot about the longer story. I thought with all the short conceptions, people were proving it's easy to have an "oops".

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EconStudent07
Message #1415 - 04/30/09 02:21 AM

I'm not a regular poster, but I wanted to share a longer TTC story, so if it's taking longer than the popular 1-2 month posts, you don't get discouraged.  Also, I know it's taken other women much longer than myself to get pregnant.  But here's my story:

Thanks IdAngel. I'm starting to get a little worried because we've been trying for about six months. I'm only 22, so I never thought it would take much time at all. I've been pretty irregular since coming off the BC, so that probably isn't helping.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1416 - 04/30/09 01:27 PM

livingalmostlarge, not all of us who got pregnant quickly had an "oops."  I went off birth control because DH and I were ready to start trying.  It just happened that we didn't have to do much trying to get pregnant.  My SIL was the same way.  Every time she went off the pill, she got pregnant the next month.

[Virgil Showlion]

Who_is_JohnGalt1
Message #1417 - 04/30/09 01:46 PM

Oh, I miss being pregnant.
It took us two months, I think.  Someone told me to do it in the missionary position with a pillow underneath your butt, and then lift your legs up for about 10 minutes afterward to get all the sperm in there.  I have no idea if that's what did it, but I do have a 9mo old.      We did do it on "most fertile days" according to internet ovulation calendars.  Oh and I was 34 and it was my first pregnancy, if that makes a difference.
Lena

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TwoBoys2008
Message #1418 - 04/30/09 03:12 PM



EconStudentO7 -- I don't know if it's been mentioned before, but I recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility".  It's a really good book.  Not everyone ovulates on 'day 14', it will help you identify when you are most fertile.  It will also help identify issues you could have.

 

Oh, and my sister is the same as kgb18, though her first was an 'oops', she has always gotten pregnant right after coming off of birth control (with her 2nd & 3rd).

 

ETA -- I also recommend "missionary position with a pillow underneath your butt, and then lift your legs up for about 10 minutes afterward to get all the sperm in there"

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1419 - 04/30/09 04:42 PM

ARMD, DH didn't have much interaction with DD until a Saturday morning, probably between 4-5 months of age.  He heard her giggling while I was playing with her on the mat in her room.  A few minutes after that, he was in there playing too.  As she's getting older, he's interacting with her more and more.  I think other moms told me that Dads usually come around somewhere near the 9 month mark, when the LO is doing more stuff. 

And would a list in the diaper bag help him in packing it up?  I keep ours perm. packed and only pull out the used dishes/bottles/sippys and immediately replace them. 

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anne81
Message #1420 - 04/30/09 05:54 PM

So the good news is that DH has a better appreciation of what I do every day.  I had a terrible sickness yesterday and was totally stuck in bed so DH had the baby all day long.  He came to bed last night with a crying baby and told me I'm a goddess .  The bad news is that he swears this is the only child we're having.

DH is definitely looking forward to DS being older.  He wants to play ball with him and all that stuff.  The first time he even seemed really interested in the baby was 6 weeks when we took him to the zoo.  DH was pointing everything out to him even though DS was asleep.  He bought him a toy that there that he still uses to play with DS.  It seemed to give him kind of picture of what it will be like later.

I recommend sex every other day if you're not keeping track. 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1421 - 04/30/09 06:16 PM

Most doctors say there is no real reason to worry about fertility issues until you've tried for at least a year to get pregnant.  I've always thought you should assume you could get pregnant easily if you don't want to get pregnant so you can avoid something that you're not ready for.  Once you start TTC though, I think its really important not to stress if you don't get pregnant immediately.  As someone else said earlier, sometimes your body knows best and if it takes a bit longer than you anticipated, the end result is still the same!

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boos_mom
Message #1422 - 04/30/09 06:24 PM

And would a list in the diaper bag help him in packing it up?  I keep ours perm. packed and only pull out the used dishes/bottles/sippys and immediately replace them.

Actually, I do keep the bag semi-packed, but I always need to check to see if anything needs replenishing, or swapping out clothes since the weather can be warmer or cooler than the last outing.  I don't do replenishment right when we come home, as I've got so many other things to take care of for #1 and #2 and then I need to pump.  And of course, I'm usually the one to get both kids ready to leave, change clothes, brush teeth, diaper change, etc.  So, it's always a whirlwind of activities for me vs. DH who just pops out at the last minute and asks, "are we ready to go?"  That can be really annoying, especially when it's been a particularly difficult time getting the uncooperative kids ready.  So, during those times one kid is usually not quite done, so he gets to finish up while I make sure I didn't forget anything.     

Anyway, DH would probably ask where to get each of the items on the list and would take forever to get it packed up vs. me doing it in a couple of minutes.  It's just one of those things that's easier to do myself.  Of course, if DH himself was all ready to go 20 minutes before we're off, a list would be a great idea.  But as it is, that just doesn't happen.

[Virgil Showlion]

MuttleynFelix
Message #1423 - 04/30/09 06:26 PM

Once you start TTC though, I think its really important not to stress if you don't get pregnant immediately. 

What about stressing if you are or you're not?  It doesn't matter to me either way, I just want to know.  I think it is going to be a no go this month. I peed on a stick this morning and it was negative. But I did just go off BCP. So, no worries. I just want to stop analyzing every little thing my body is doing (or not doing).

 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1424 - 04/30/09 07:22 PM

Some women start feeling pregnant right away when they conceive and some don't.  I started feeling naseous 2 days after I ovulated so I was pretty sure I was pregnant but the tests kept saying I wasn't once I passed into the window when they can tell.  I ended up getting one of the digital tests because they're easier to read and it came back positive.  The digital ones are a bit more expensive but if you really want to know, it might be easier to tell the results especially if it is still pretty early.

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digginouttadebt
Message #1425 - 04/30/09 07:36 PM

Oh, I miss being pregnant.

And I just got done saying I wish it were over.  Let me remind you of weeks 32-40.  Never being comfortable as something always hurts, fat feet that jiggle when you walk, cankles, constantly hungry and nauseous at the same time, heartburn, people touching your belly, getting winded walking to the bathroom for the 4th time in the last hour, need I go on?  Then I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC yesterday.  No pregnant woman should watch that show.  Being pregnant is fun for awhile, but I am definitely over it.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1426 - 04/30/09 08:22 PM

Let me remind you of weeks 32-40.  Never being comfortable as something always hurts, fat feet that jiggle when you walk, cankles, constantly hungry and nauseous at the same time, heartburn, people touching your belly, getting winded walking to the bathroom for the 4th time in the last hour, need I go on?

 

No!  Please don't go on.  As someone who is 17 weeks pregnant with her first, I only want to hear good things right now.  What's the reading equivalent of "La la la.  I can't hear you!"   And I totally agree with you about "A Baby Story."  I watched it once years ago.  It scared the crap out of me.  I decided if I ever wanted to have children I should never watch that show, and I never did again.

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Brooke_in_CO
Message #1427 - 04/30/09 09:18 PM

Let me remind you of weeks 32-40.  Never being comfortable as something always hurts, fat feet that jiggle when you walk, cankles, constantly hungry and nauseous at the same time, heartburn, people touching your belly, getting winded walking to the bathroom for the 4th time in the last hour, need I go on? 

OMG...LMAO.  I am not there yet, but my sis is 6 weeks (and 11 lbs) ahead of me and in that danger zone.  She is giving me updates on her issues as she grows so I won't be caught off guard if I follow in her footsteps.  I am doing a 5k this weekend (walking, not running) and I am so thankful it isn't a month or two from now!  Can you imagine the cankles after a 5k??  I'm still trying to figure out if I can really do an hour walk w/o a bathroom break (or a down-leggie if I sneeze too hard)!! 

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ARMD
Message #1428 - 04/30/09 10:30 PM

Don't get too discouraged. It took us about 11 months to get pregnant. My DH and I are now 30 and this is our first baby. Our daughter is almost 4 months old now and was well worth the wait. I waited 3 months after going off BC to start ttc. At first, we did it around the time I was supposed to be ovulating. After a few months, I started tracking my temps and we started doing it every other day just to be sure. I started to get discouraged after about 6 months of trying since none of our family members ever seemed to have any trouble getting pregnant. We started doing some research on our own and found out a few things that could possibly be "wrong." We can't really prove it, but we think that our problem might have been the lubricant that we were using. We started researching and found that certain lubricants can actually alter sperm motility, so we started using preseed, which isn't supposed to. We got pregnant a couple months later I believe. I would try not to worry too much unless it takes you more than a year to conceive. Try not to get too discouraged hearing about all the people that got pregnant soon after going off bc or ttc if you don't get pregnant that quickly. I kept having to remind myself that each person is different and there is always a reason for getting pregnant when we do. In our case, it made us realize how much we really did want kids, and we were a bit more prepared financially. Each child is a blessing no matter how long it took to bring them into this world. Sometimes, the longer they take to come into this world the more of a blessing they seem to be.

[Virgil Showlion]

The Reflector - WIR
Message #1429 - 05/01/09 12:30 AM



With DD1 it took about 5 months of actually trying.  I quit Depo Provera in Dec 03, we stopped using protection in June/July 04, conceived Dec 04 and found out on Christmas Day.  What a great Christmas present!  I heard that Depo can take a year to clear your system so that might be it, but I think more likely I was ovulating really late in my cycle, which has always been a little irregular anyway.  I was getting frustrated trying (I know, we hadn't been trying that long, but I'm not the most patient of people) so we bought the ovulation predictor sticks and got pregnant that month.

With DD2 we decided why wait around to see what happens?  We did the ovulation sticks and got pregnant the first month.

We're going to try for another baby in September, we'll break out those ovulation sticks again.  Because we've had two girls, some people have suggested if we wait until the third or fourth day of ovulation we'll have a better chance of getting a boy.  I guess we'll see!

Husbands.  Irritating, yes.  Do I bite my tongue?  All the freakin' time!  I think they never quite realize how much us mothers have to do, even when they have to do it for a while.  But I love mine anyway.

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Holly Smith
Message #1430 - 05/01/09 02:03 AM

As someone who is 17 weeks pregnant with her first, I only want to hear good things right now.

FWIW, I had a really, really easy pregnancy.  I took my high school kids to a debate tournament the week before I was due.

I actually do miss being pregnant from time to time.  I don't miss it enough to want to be pregnant again quite yet, but I did love feeling the baby move around all the time.

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digginouttadebt
Message #1431 - 05/01/09 01:16 PM

or a down-leggie if I sneeze too hard

Heeheehee.  I chuckled over this.  That gets worse too as it progresses.  My pregnant friend and I were discussing it one day.  We both get the coughing on your vomit thing at night (something the preggo books never mention), then you make it to the bathroom in time to upchuck, only to pee down your leg in the process.  We haven't decided which end should be over the potty.    Sorry if that's TMI, but I found it helpful to know that it wasn't just me.

FWIW, I actually have fairly easy pregnancies too.  I never get nauseous until the end, which I think is weird.  It's not that it's horrible, you just feel like it's never going to end.  And everything becomes an ordeal (like turning over in bed, or getting up to answer the phone because your brain doesn't function well enough to grab the cordless before you sit down).  I remember missing pregnancy too when DD was a toddler, but now that I am pregnant, I don't know what I was thinking!

But for all of you in the easy second trimester, it really isn't terrible.  I do think it's worse this time since I am older (early twenties with #1, late twenties now) or maybe it's because it's baby #2.

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Who_is_JohnGalt1
Message #1432 - 05/01/09 02:37 PM

Let me remind you of weeks 32-40.  Never being comfortable as something always hurts, fat feet that jiggle when you walk, cankles, constantly hungry and nauseous at the same time, heartburn, people touching your belly, getting winded walking to the bathroom for the 4th time in the last hour, need I go on?  Then I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC yesterday.  No pregnant woman should watch that show.  Being pregnant is fun for awhile, but I am definitely over it.

I LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant.  The only thing I cared about while pregnant is not getting sick as I have this mortal fear of throwing up.  Other than that, I didn't care.   I did have horrible heart burns, Tumms were my best friend. I didn't sleep through the night for the last 4 mo of pregnancy, I peed ALL THE TIME.  I was anemic, so was dizzy quite a bit.  But I still LOVED being pregnant.
No one, and I mean NO ONE touched my belly.  I didn't care if people gave me dirty looks or didn't like me, I would hit their hands like they were 2yr olds.  One woman tried and I asked her if I could touch her boobs.  She was kind of shocked, but I got my point across.   And I never believed it before, but you really DO forget the pain.  I don't know how, but you just dont' remember it afterwards.
I will say this, though, I never cared about how I looked, unshaved legs and all.  I did wear pants, though, since I was my most pregnant in the summer and no one needs to be exposed to hairy leggs.
Lena

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digginouttadebt
Message #1433 - 05/01/09 02:44 PM

One woman tried and I asked her if I could touch her boobs. 

Love this!  I may have to try it next time.  It would be hard though, since they are usually saying how adorable I look (obviously they don't see the old lady feet puffing out over the tops of my shoes- seriously it's really gross and it jiggles!).  I already ticked off a family member by asking her not to touch it.  But really, I am not a touchy person.  I don't hug people often (other than DH and DD of course) and she knows this.  Why on earth would I be OK with her rubbing my belly?

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digginouttadebt
Message #1434 - 05/01/09 02:47 PM

Oh yeah- you do forget the pain.  That's why I don't like being reminded of it in a Baby Story.  Labor doesn't worry me much, it's better than weeks of being uncomfortable.  But I had a really easy delivery last time, so maybe that's just me.  I think that's why babies always smell so good, they make you forget all of the pain and problems getting them into the world.

[Virgil Showlion]

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1435 - 05/01/09 03:45 PM



Thanks to the posters who have stories of easy pregnancies!  I like to hear that!  I'm all about wishful thinking right now.

I do think it's worse this time since I am older (early twenties with #1, late twenties now)

If that's older than I'm in real trouble.  I'm going to be 32 in a couple of weeks, and this is my first.  Good Lord!  I'll be in a walker by the time this kid is in college. 

 

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #1436 - 05/01/09 03:55 PM

If that's older than I'm in real trouble.  I'm going to be 32 in a couple of weeks, and this is my first.  Good Lord!  I'll be in a walker by the time this kid is in college.

lol.  I'll be 55 when DD is heading off to college! 

My first pregnancy wasn't particularly hard - I had a bad heartburn and those prenatals were HORRIBLE.  I had the easy, fast delivery too (feel free to hate me!  .)  Got to the hospital around 10:30am and gave birth to DD at 2:09pm. 

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MuttleynFelix
Message #1437 - 05/01/09 03:58 PM

If that's older than I'm in real trouble.  I'm going to be 32 in a couple of weeks, and this is my first.  Good Lord!  I'll be in a walker by the time this kid is in college. lol.  I'll be 55 when DD is heading off to college! 

DH is 44 and we just started trying.  So, he'll be elgible for Social Security by the time our kids are off to college.

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digginouttadebt
Message #1438 - 05/01/09 04:10 PM

Sorry, didn't intend to make anyone feel old (and I am not old, just older than I was).  I can just tell a difference in 5+ years.  It could just be the second pregnancy, not the age, but my friend agrees with me.  Much harder for her this time around than it was 6 years ago (we are the same age and this is her third so she may be a better judge than I am).  It doesn't seem fair.  I think our bodies are better equipped for pregnancy and childbirth in our early twenties, but emotionally and financially we aren't ready until later in life.  But again, that could just be me. 

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Brooke_in_CO
Message #1439 - 05/01/09 04:12 PM

If that's older than I'm in real trouble.  I'm going to be 32 in a couple of weeks, and this is my first.  Good Lord!  I'll be in a walker by the time this kid is in college.

Right there with ya!  I will be 31 when she comes out.  My sis is 32 and will be just shy of 33 with her first as well.  For both of us, the DHs are younger...we got the ages reversed on this one...would've worked out much better if we were a couple years younger!  But so far, it is smooth sailing for us "old" ladies (and WI-Beth, my gosh, that must make you a real relic!!).    I just count each non-eventful day as a blessing (minus the allergy sneezing down-leggie days, but they remind me of running cc and crossing the finish line when ALL your muscles relax - eww). 

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Former_Roomate_99
Message #1440 - 05/01/09 04:28 PM

As someone who is 17 weeks pregnant with her first, I only want to hear good things right now.

I never had to do the 'standing up stomach first' thing when I was pregnant.  At week 38, I was smaller than most women get at 6 months.  I asked my ob if they had to shot to stop labor so I could keep the baby in longer.  She said no.  I didn't get backaches until the last 3 weeks and they weren't that bad.  I kept taking Zantac after getting pregnant, so I never got heartburn.  My appetite actually dropped while I was pregnant.  After giving birth, I was 10 lbs lighter than I was before I got pregnant. 

My water broke 2 hours before I had anything resembling a contraction.  As soon as I had something only slightly worse than a menstral cramp, I screamed like a horror movie.   They came running with the epidural and I slept for the next 12 hours.  They woke me up, told me to push, and a half hour later I had a healthy baby boy. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1441 - 05/01/09 05:30 PM

and WI-Beth, my gosh, that must make you a real relic!!). 

I'm a whopping 38 right now.  I'll be 39 in July and this baby is due Oct. 27.  I was 37 when DD was born.    And like I said, my first pregnancy went fairly smoothly and this one is even better - no sore b00bs, almost no heartburn and the generic Flintstones are MUCH kinder on my body than those prenatals were! 

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digginouttadebt
Message #1442 - 05/01/09 05:30 PM

OK, I feel really bad.  I wasn't trying to call anyone old.  Just saying that I am 5 years older this time around and it's harder.  And it surprised me because I was in better shape when I got pregnant this time (around 30 pounds lighter, more toned, etc).  You wonderful gestating ladies are not old.

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digginouttadebt
Message #1443 - 05/01/09 05:34 PM

generic Flintstones are MUCH kinder on my body than those prenatals were

Wow, the doc let you do that?  The prenatals do have some yucky side effects.

And I second the person that takes Zantac.  It's fabulous!

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Brooke_in_CO
Message #1444 - 05/01/09 05:53 PM

OK, I feel really bad. 

Oh, please don't.  I am just having fun with this.  I completely understand your point of view...one of my sisters felt that way from 21 to 31 (gap between kiddos).  She said her energy level was a lot lower the second time around and that her body didn't recover as fast.  Since I don't have any comparison with it being my first...I think everything is great!  Heck, I am just cruising through prego-land.  I feel like I am slacking, but DH is amazed at how well things are going.  Just ask me how I feel after I deliver and the first few months of excitement after arrival...

 

WI-Beth, you are my hero.  My DH has heard about you!  Actually, so many of you are beyond awesome on this thread...it would take me a paragraph to list everyone.  Just know that I have taken all of your comments and suggestions and stories to heart, and I have learned much more from your sharing of the gory details (love them, BTW) and product reviews than most books could do.  I haven't found another pregnancy thread yet (anywhere) that gives me more of what I need.  You should see the pages of notes I have from this thread!! 

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sbcaligirl
Message #1445 - 05/01/09 05:53 PM



Oh, the epidural saved my life.  I had planned to get one because I know I don't deal well with pain when I'm under stress but I don't think I realized how much I was going to freak out once active labor started.  Part of it was I was afraid I was going to be sent home again since I'd had three prior false labors, but part of it was expected.  Once I got the epidural I was able to deal really well with everything else that was going on so it was really helpful for me.

I think it is really important to know yourself and to be flexible when it comes to your labor plan.  I also wasn't about to let anyone make me feel bad for needing pain meds though I have immense respect for any woman who can do it naturally.

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kristi28
Message #1446 - 05/01/09 06:01 PM



Wow - if later pregnancies are harder, Baby Girl is going to get to be an "only"

I agree with many other posters about DH having no appreciation of what momma does.  I asked him to get her bath ready the other night, and I swear he looked like I asked him to successfully land the space shuttle.  I keep her soap and shampoo along with clean towels and washcloths in her little tub next to the sink.  So really, I asked him to get her a clean outfit and diaper, take the stuff out of the tub, and fill it with warm water.  Heaven help us if I asked him to pack the diaper bag. 

Thanks for the advice about solids.  Sometimes she does so well, and other times I would swear that I have a drama queen on my hands.  Really, you would think that one tablespoon of baby oatmeal was akin to torture.