Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

sjk279
Message #1087 - 12/04/08 06:41 PM



I'm not abstaining. My doc says drink until you see pink. You don't want to be come a raging alcoholic, but a few are ok. If you cycle starts on 12/21, it'll be at least 10-14 days until you O, then another 7-10 days before implantation, and even then there isn't a placenta so the baby isn't getting nutrients from the mom that way. Don't worry about it! the pills and have a few cocktails on your vacation! Heck, it might even improve your chances, LOL.

---

New-Mummy
Message #1088 - 12/04/08 06:44 PM



Living, check with your doctor, but it's usually recommended when going off hormonal birth control that you use a barrier method for a bit so your cycles have time to settle (aka, make it less likely that you miscarry when you conceive) so if you're still using barrier method you would probably be reasonably safe having a drink. 

 

ETA: I was trying to be so conscientious posting, lol.  But Mitten brings up the other point about barrier methods.  One of our barrier method failures is taking a nap right now.  Unless you have a six-martini lunch, it's not going to hurt anything during conception.  (Did you know that in Elizabethan England it was sometimes recommended women once pregnant switch to "small beer" instead of the usual beer?  Lower alcohol, it's what you gave to weaned kids or low tolerance drinkers.  Maybe this is part of the reason people are taller now?)  And one of the signs you might be successful is that your tastebuds might start revolting if you try to have alcohol or caffeine. I had to quit drinking regular tea even while I was pregnant, because either the caffeine or the tannins in tea and coffee just were so ridiculously bitter I couldn't stand it.

---

anne81
Message #1089 - 12/04/08 07:18 PM

 What do you think the likelyhood is of concieving without trying the first 2 weeks after you are off birth control?

Pretty low - you probably haven't even ovulated yet since that happens on average of about two weeks after your last period.  I had a drink a few days before I got my positive and a half glass of wine the night before.  We were at a very nice restaurant, spent a ridiculous amount for that glass of wine, and I wanted to puke it up right at the table.  That was my first sign.

---

MittenKitten
Message #1090 - 12/04/08 08:08 PM



living:  I would say the chances are a LOT greater then people think.  I went of BC (I was on the pill for 11 years) we were going to wait 9 months and try in June.  DS#1 was BORN in June instead, so I did get preggers the first month off BC.  Condom failed.  DS#2 was planned, the month we started trying we were successgul.  DD born last April was a surprize.  Condom failed again.  Now we took perminent BC measures LOL

Kristi:  DD was 2 weeks early 5lbs 12oz and is doing great.

boos mom: I am glad you at least have a plan.  Good luck I know it is tough.

 

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1091 - 12/05/08 03:57 PM

This is going to sound bad, but I know for a fact both my MIL and mom drank and smoke before they were pregnant.  It was the 70s and they knew nothing other than you should abstain once you were,  but otherwise not.  I think we're both "normal" relatively speaking.

I haven't used a barrier method in ages.  I think my DH would think me nuts.  I have two weeks to decide.  

---

anne81
Message #1092 - 12/05/08 04:04 PM

I went and saw the physical therapist yesterday for my walking/standing/laying down problem.  She was able to explain to me why I was having so much difficulty and gave me this kind of brace to compress my hips which is helping (although I went and completely overdid it after I got the brace, oops.)  The best part is where she told me my right buttoc.k is completely atrophied from lack of use.    I knew my rear view wasn't great but jeez, lol!

[Virgil Showlion]

livingalmostlarge
Message #1093 - 12/05/08 07:24 PM

Any single parents?  Since I'm thinking hard about kids, I'm getting more and more curious about my biological father. I am curious as to what he looks/looked like mostly. Not really about anything else, I think more curiosity.

But I haven't the nerve to ask my mom for pictures, we don't have any.  I think my aunts might have a wedding photo that they never threw away and I'd really like them or to at least see them.  How bad would it be to ask for it?  And would I have to tell my mom I want them?  

I don't look at all like my mom.  No one has ever said so.  Thus I'm guessing I look like him, but I have no idea.

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1094 - 12/05/08 07:25 PM

Hi Ladies,
I've been following along but largely MIA because I've been so stressed. I had a bad NT Scan/Blood work which translates to there being a chance that the baby has down syndrome. I've been a mess. Finally starting to pull it together. I won't have the amnio for another two weeks and the results the week after that. Anyhow, please keep me and my LO in your prayers.
Thanks.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1095 - 12/05/08 08:30 PM

Oh Lakshimi! I'm sorry to hear that! Try not to worry too much before you have amnio and know anything for sure. Try to think positive and focus on the fact that Christmas is less than 3 weeks away! YIKES!

---

anne81
Message #1096 - 12/05/08 09:07 PM

Hugs Lakshmi - lots of women on my birth boards got bad results on their NT scan and blood work and came back with normal results and healthy children on the amnio or after birth.  I'm praying for the same for you - and the strength to get through these next few weeks without losing your mind.

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1097 - 12/05/08 11:57 PM

Thank you Goddess - I'm trying to focus on Christmas but it just holds absolutely no appeal to me at the moment. And I'm trying to be positive, some days are easier than others. Today is not a good day.

Thank you too Anne, I'm praying that everything turns out normal too. Not losing my mind is definitely a goal.

---

New-Mummy
Message #1098 - 12/06/08 01:56 AM



Lakshmi, you will love your child no matter what.  It's your child.  I know that it's crossed your mind at least a couple of times, "How will I handle it if there's something wrong?"  You just will, because cliche as it sounds, you are that child's mother and will find strength you didn't know you had.  There will be bad days and good days but you will get through them and your child will bring you joy in his or her own way.  Remember too that some forms of Down's are less limiting than others, and that sometimes tests can be wrong.  I hope that the testing is wrong, but if it isn't, my best advice is don't beat yourself up about might-have-beens and should-have-beens, just take it a day at a time.  I'll keep you in my thoughts, let us know what happens with the amnio.

[Virgil Showlion]

livingalmostlarge
Message #1099 - 12/06/08 03:34 PM

prayers lakshimi.

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1100 - 12/06/08 03:48 PM

New Mummy, it's like you read my fears. Thank you for your comforting words.

Livingalmostlarge, I very much appreciate your prayers. I was thinking about your situation and I think you should talk to your mom. My god sister didn't remember her father and when she got older she asked my parents to see a picture of him. They showed her the picture. Eventually, she talked to her mom about it (or her mom found the picture) and the mom was very  hurt than my parents would go behind her back and share that picture with her daughter. It really hurt their relationship (my parents and the mom). Good luck. 

---

lady.by.the.lake
Message #1101 - 12/06/08 04:33 PM



Lakshmi: You're in my thoughts. Very scary, I'm sure. But like someone else said, no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. Being a mother makes you very powerful to handle nearly every situation.

 

NEWS: My baby is here!!! I've been absent from the message boards for quite some time now because my hands have been rather full!

Our daughter arrived on November 6, 4 weeks before her due date! She surprised us all! She has had a little trouble with eating (because she was early, she kind of forgets that she's supposed to wake up and eat every once in a while) - and, as a result, I've had quite a bit of trouble breastfeeding successfully (at this point, I'm about to throw in the towel). Other than that, she's been perfect and beautiful and sweet and lovable - and an incredible gift! We love her to pieces.

Gosh, I could write a book about everything that's happened, but I better not even get started! (Besides, I never get much time to myself these days and would probably get interrupted.)

 

To the woman who was asking about the episiotomy: What is your fear? That it will hurt? That it will permanently damage you? That your husband will think it's gross?

To make a long story short (I have 2 experiences with this that I would have to share in more detail at another time) - If you have gotten an epidural, you won't feel the procedure, so it won't hurt. If your doctor thinks it's necessary, you should probably get it, because the "clean cut" will heal much better than the potentially HORRIBLE tear you will give yourself (or the baby will give you, depending on how you look at it) if you don't get the episiotomy.

 

I'm way behind on reading posts, but maybe someday I'll have time to get caught up a little!

Better run for now!!

---

boos_mom
Message #1102 - 12/06/08 05:06 PM



lakshmi - you'll be in my thoughts.  I hope everything works out.

ladybythelake - Congrats!  Sorry that the BF-ing isn't going so well.  But, just enjoy having your sweet baby girl. 

living - you probably should try to discuss your feelings with your mom.  If she threw away her wedding pictures, there might be a reason.  My parents are divorced and my mom kept her wedding pics in a closet.  You might be able to gain some perspective from her about your bio father and also let her know you were thinking to ask your aunts to see any photographs of him.  Also, from a genetic/medical standpoint, it's always good to know your bio parents' health history.  Oh, and it took about 9-12 months to get preggers after going off BC.  We did use a 'raincoat' for the first couple of months.  And, drinking before getting pregnant is okay.  Although, for men it is said to lower their sperm count, so DH should be cutting back while TTC to save those little guys up. 

re: episiotomies.  I had one for both deliveries, along with additional tearing anyway.  Tons of fun.  Whatever.  You heal eventually.  It may take a little longer to go back to 'normal' in intimate moments.  But, when you're looking at your baby, you won't even think about all the things you went through.  Don't forget about hemorrhoids, stretch marks, saggy boobs, saggy butts and saggy muffin top tummies. 

 

---

anne81
Message #1103 - 12/06/08 06:21 PM

ladybythelake - congrats on your little girl!

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1104 - 12/08/08 09:58 PM

Ladybythelake - congrats on your baby girl! Glad to hear she's doing well. And thank you for your kind words.
Boos mom - thank you for your thoughts! So very appreciated!

[Virgil Showlion]

MittenKitten
Message #1105 - 12/09/08 06:15 PM



lakshmi:  You will love the baby no matter.  I will second that many of those tests have false positives (I never had them done because of them.)  I have a friend whose one test came back positive and the baby didn't.  The next baby came back negative and in fact that child does have Downs.  The baby is 2 now and a joy.  My son has Autism (he is 2 and a half now) While if you do have a special needs child they are more work, they are worth it.  If you want to talk you can e-mail me mittenkittenwir at gmail.com You are in my thoughts and prayers. 

living:  I would talk with your mom 1st.  You may also want to see if she knows any medical history about him also. 

lady by the lake:  Congrats!  Hey if BFing doesn't work out at least you tried.  DD is now getting mostly formula as she won't take the time to BF.  She keeps stopping to look around and at her 6 month appointment had hardly grown.  So I started feeding her formula. 

---

Amazon Hunter
Message #1106 - 12/09/08 07:22 PM

Lakshmi--Both my sisters were supposed to be born with Downs because of test results.  They are 18 and 16 now and no issues whatsoever except for a typical lack of motivation....  It must be hard to wait for results to these batteries of tests, but hang in there.  Big hugs!

---

boos_mom
Message #1107 - 12/10/08 07:41 AM



Hooray!  We met with the HDCP today, and we really liked her.  And #2 didn't cry when he was checking her out -- he's not one of those babies that will go to anyone, especially right now, and he has been known to cry when someone is even looking at him and he doesn't like them.  So, we reserved the space right there and gave her our deposit.  The non-licensed sitter seemed nice as well, but I wasn't thrilled to have the television as the focal point of the 'child care area'.  I much prefer the developmental activities and toys that the licensed HDCP offers, and she seems very nurturing and patient.

I'm just hoping that #2 will adjust quickly.  Since he's such a different personality from #1, who had hardly any trouble adjusting to daycare, I have visions of him screaming bloody murder all day.  He's quite stubborn and has a mean temper when he wants your attention.  But, usually he's pretty happy and amiable, as long as I am or DH is around.  Even if we could live on one income, I feel like I'm a better parent by working outside of the home.  When I'm at home full-time, I'm pretty tired and cranky by their bedtime and dying for some alone time.  Also, I have not been able to go out very often while at home with #2, unlike with #1 when we would regularly get out of the house for a couple of hours several times during the weekdays.  With #2, I'm only too happy to just take a nap if he decides to finally nap.

mitten - #2 is also at that stage where he gets easily distracted as well.  He'll try to watch tv when we're feeding.  So, off goes the tv.  Or if I'm trying to talk to DH or #1, he's always pulling off and trying to look around.  I'm hanging in there, but by a thread.  I'm not sure if I'll try to pump once I go back to work.  At least #2 does take formula now and the bottle.  So, we'll see how it goes.  Oh, he's started cereal, and he gets all excited when he sees the bowl of cereal.  I can't wait to start the veggies and fruits!

 

---

WigglinRoom
Message #1108 - 12/10/08 03:49 PM

To the woman who was asking about the episiotomy: What is your fear? That it will hurt? That it will permanently damage you? That your husband will think it's gross?

Well, my reservations are more (I'll say it) - selfish in nature.

 

My hubby is a very nurturing person, and a complete caregiver. He makes dinners, cleans dishes, gives nearly nightly massages - I am not worried about him being "grossed out" (although, I have heard stories that some men never get over the "trauma" of birth - and have a hard time visualizing their wives as sx*ual beings, after witnessing the birth - that scares me, too...don't know why)...

 

But, I AM worried about logistical issues with L&D. (My mother is a neonatal nurse, she has seen EVERYTHING - and, I was taken to "take your daughter to work day" when I was about 11 years old, and will never - ever - forget those screams...) BUT... that, aside... Here are my fears about the episiotomy:

 

1. What if you don't have an epidural, and there's not enough time for anesethia? Do they just whip out the surgical scissors and slice? (Wowza)

2. What if you're really not keen on the epidural - but they "decide" on it, anyway. Can they just do that? (No, right? Don't they have to have permission? ... I would really prefer to try and let nature be the best way)

3. I am horrendously worried about appearance/healing time of any tearing and/or episiotomy ... I am selfishly concerned that things won't heal correctly - or that the "lady downstairs" will always look strange, after birth.

 

There - those are my fears. DH loves kids, wants to think about having them in the near-future, I am of the mindset that I want to know EVERYTHING that could possibly happen/does happen/etc etc. Unfortunately for me, my family & friends are so tight-lipped about the "bad" things, that I sometimes feel it's a conspiracy. LOL

 

I suppose it's a strange question/irrational fear to some - after all, most of you have your LO's, already. And, perhaps it's different after they are born - but, before they were, did any of you have these-type of fears? And, does the LO REALLY make everything "all better"?

---

dea_81
Message #1109 - 12/10/08 04:07 PM



Those wondering about episiotomies/ tearing.   I had a natural childbirth and did not have an episiotomy, but tore some, but the very nice Dr. gave me a few injections of lidocane before the baby started crowning, and I am very grateful for that.    Everything has healed fine, but I can still tell where the stitches were and I my LO is 15 weeks old.  DH hasn't noticed any difference

 

Wigglin - yes they have to have permission to do the epidural. 

---

boos_mom
Message #1110 - 12/10/08 06:54 PM



Wigglin - like dea said, they'll give you a local if you haven't had any other painkiller before doing the episiotomy.  Of course, my sister said when the baby is crowning, it hurts like heck if you don't have anything, so you probably wouldn't feel it anyway at that point.  Also, hospitals won't give anything without your consent, except in emergencies and you're not conscious.  And, as far as your DH is concerned, if he's like any other man, um, they really don't care about what it looks like, as long as they're still gettin some!  DH thought the birthing was "cool" and hasn't bothered him or changed how he sees me.  I'm still hot to him.  (Of course, I don't feel so hot, but it's sweet of him to say so.)

Also, I seriously think your fears will definitely change once you get pregnant.  You worry the entire 9 months that the baby is okay, no matter if all the tests come out normal and everything is looking good.  Until that baby is born, every major fear will be tied to having a healthy baby.  And, of course, if you get irregular results or have a difficult pregnancy, then those fears increase exponentially.  So, my advice is to just take your fears in phases.  You'll get over one fear and something else will come up.  My fear was that my 2nd pregnancy would be worse than my 1st.  Gratefully, it wasn't.  But I still worried like heck during both pregnancies about the babies.  Ask all of your questions here.  We don't mind being frank.

ETA: your OB will check you out in like 5 weeks to make sure you're healing fine.

[Virgil Showlion]

sbcaligirl
Message #1111 - 12/11/08 08:22 AM



Any tips for getting better sleep?  I can't seem to sleep anymore between 12 and 4 am regardless of how tired I am.  Part of it is kicking from the LO and frequent trips to the restroom don't help.  I don't sleep well anyways and have always battled with insomnia but this is just getting ridiculous.  I seem to sleep fine during the day but not as well during the night.  I have an appointment on Monday and will definitely talk to the midwife about it but thought I'd see if anyone had any ideas.  I use the boppy body pillow for comfort and that helps me get comfortable but apparently not enough to sleep.

Sleep would be nice since exhaustion is making me even more irrational than before , apparently I've become pregzilla according to DH.

---

anne81
Message #1112 - 12/11/08 06:20 PM

sbcaligirl - I'm using a half or full unisom a night, the old fashioned kind, not the new gel or meltable tab.  It doesn't knock me out but it makes me sleepy and helps me fall back asleep after one of the innumerable trips to the bathroom.  According to my midwife it's okay.  I started using it regularly because it's one of the approved medications for morning sickness.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1113 - 12/11/08 07:44 PM



sbcaligirl~~ go easy on beverages after 6 pm and take 1 tylenol pm about an hour before you want to go to sleep. I do this maybe once a week. If you have allergies or a cold a benedryl is equally effective.

 

Also, try stretching a bit before you go to sleep. I use my yoga ball sometimes to stretch my belly a bit or will lie down with my feet up for 15-2 minutes between coming home and making dinner.

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1114 - 12/11/08 11:53 PM

WigglinRoom - I think boos mom is right. There is always something to fear. I use to worry occasionally about episiotomy and what the aftermath of birth would do generally to the "lady downstairs" but I could care less now. That being said, I do think it helps to know what to expect.

Mittenkitten - thank you for your thoughts and prayers - I am so grateful for them! And thank you too Amazon Hunter!

Vent - I'm slightly annoyed. Trying not to be. I've been dealing with a positive first trimester screen since Nov. 19th and I am still waiting for the amnio and results which I won't get until maybe before Christmas and it feels like so many other women on my birth board who got positive results already had their amnios and know the results. ..............I guess it's only been 22 days but it feels like a lifetime.

---

boos_mom
Message #1115 - 12/12/08 06:30 PM



Lakshmi - I would feel the same as you.  Whenever you're waiting on results for tests, it seems to take forever.  Was it because that was the earliest appointment they could give you (i.e. all booked up)?  Or that's just when your OB recommended doing the amnio for optimal test results? 

Wigglin - re: your question "And, does the LO REALLY make everything "all better"?  ".   When you get your first true smile, oh your heart just melts.  They say that the bonding between parent and child feels like falling in love.  And it is true.  You fall in love with that LO.  And it is different kind of love, the fiercest love, for which you would die to protect or save your LO.  But, you're still going to be hurting 'down there' and it may not feel worth it in the beginning, but as you heal, it is totally worth it.

sbcali - I just looked at the lack of sleep as preparation for when the baby arrives.  You get little bursts of sleep.  Can you get in a nap or two during the day.  Even a half-hour nap recharged me, surprisingly.

---

Amazon Hunter
Message #1116 - 12/12/08 10:48 PM

Lakshmi--Just so you know that you are in my thoughts.  I hope you have a relaxing weekend.  Hugs, friend.

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1117 - 12/16/08 03:09 AM

I drank occasionally (read: once a month or so) until I got my BFP.

I also had pre-eclampsia, but I was diagnosed with it on my due date.  Sucked.  Ended up with a c-section, but more because of a prolapsed cord.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1118 - 12/16/08 03:11 AM

Ladybythelake- Congrats!  I hope you're able to have more success with bf.  It really is much easier once you get it established.

Lakshmi- every baby has a "chance" of having DS.  It's just a matter of how high the chances are. If you get an amnio, you'll know for sure.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1119 - 12/16/08 03:15 AM

sbcaligirl- I took Benadryl occasionally to sleep more soundly.

mitten- Elizabeth is the same way.  She is always turning her head at a moment's notice.  I just try to nurse her more often and make sure that she gets longer nursing sessions when she's not distracted.  I'm really committed to not using formula though.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1120 - 12/17/08 01:53 AM

Good to know about booze.  I decided one last hurrah and what's the chances I'll get pregnant this first cycle?  Which hasn't even started yet and I have no idea when it will. 

I have a feeling that I'll need to buy some ovulation kits for help.

---

sjk279
Message #1121 - 12/17/08 01:56 PM



Living, if you have irregular cycles, then go for the 20 pack. That is what I do. Are you willing to temp? Quite a few people I know use fertilityfriend.com to post their results.

 

It looks like this round of Clomid didn't work, so I am having my dosage increased to the max, if this round doesn't work, then they will have to try something else.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1122 - 12/17/08 05:14 PM

I seem to have trouble charting my temperature.  I am going to just let it go naturally for one month before buying the ovulation kit I think.

[Virgil Showlion]

sjk279
Message #1123 - 12/17/08 05:20 PM



The advice I got is to do the deed every other day the middle 2 weeks in your cycle (if you're relatively regular). Once AF stops, then start the pattern. You will for sure hit it on the nose.

Don't get discouraged, just remember that you have a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month. It puts it in perspective for me. Good things come to those who wait

---

Lakshmi_ff
Message #1124 - 12/17/08 07:59 PM

Livingalmostlarge - My cycle got a little weird once I started trying. Probably self-induced stress. Anyhow, my doctor basically advised us to do the deed 2 to 3 times a week.

So I'm finally having the amnio tomorrow. My husband is really nervous about it. He hates the idea of a needle invading the baby's space and of course he's worried about the risk of miscarriage. I offered to have my sister come with me so he wouldn't have to watch but he insist he wants to go. Anyhow, please wish us luck and keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

---

sjk279
Message #1125 - 12/17/08 08:15 PM

Hugs to you, Lakshmi. At least your husband will be there. It's not fun being alone in the doctor's office when you're scared. It will be fine, just think of warm sandy beaches during the procedure. Please keep us posted on how it goes.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1126 - 12/17/08 09:39 PM

Good Luck Lakshimi.  20% huh?  Well maybe I can get lucky and hit the jackpot in vegas.

---

anne81
Message #1127 - 12/17/08 10:10 PM

Lakshmi - good luck with your amnio tomorrow.  I'm glad your husband can go.

---

boos_mom
Message #1128 - 12/19/08 07:05 AM



lakshmi - how did the amnio go?  when do you get your results?  Hope things are okay.

living - be warned that depending on the kind of ovulation sticks you purchase, the first month you use them might also be a 'throwaway' month until you figure out how to read the sticks (i.e. "light" line vs. "dark" line are trickier than say '+' and '-' signs).

The advice I got is to do the deed every other day the middle 2 weeks in your cycle (if you're relatively regular). Once AF stops, then start the pattern. You will for sure hit it on the nose.

We had to start 'trying' on Day 10, rather than Day 14 (and I was longer than a 28-day cycle).  So, it might be better to start a little earlier and then go every other day, just to maximize results, especially if you're irregular. 

sjk - sorry to hear that it didn't work this time.  So does Clomid make it feel like you're PMS'ing all the time?  Yikes!  Good luck!

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #1129 - 12/19/08 08:05 PM



if it helps anyone, dh and I normally have a pretty active sex life... but i was in brazil by myself for 2 weeks visiting his fam. i was also on birth control and anti-malaria drugs (which no one knew would cancel eachother out...)  anyways, we weren't trying but I literally got pregnant the DAY I GOT HOME. 

 

so 2 weeks apart, lots of fruits and veggies, and BAM! plus sign on the pee stick a month later.

---

sjk279
Message #1130 - 12/19/08 08:11 PM

Thanks, boos-mom! The hot flashes are the worst... I am going through the both the symptoms of teenage and menapause years! I've stopped the hormone to get my monthly friend, it caused wicked mood swings, I had too many hormones gushing through my body and it was making me an emotional wreck. I'm going to give the meds a time out until after the new year and get my body and emotions back on track. I am irritated that I blew $10 on the prescription, though... LOL...

---

anne81
Message #1131 - 12/23/08 07:53 PM

Cross your fingers for me - I'm 37 weeks and 5 days.  My midwife told me that since last week I've dilated to 3 cm, 80% effaced and at -2 station.  She thinks this means the baby will be here in the next week.  I sure hope so!

---

mom2abi
Message #1132 - 12/23/08 08:22 PM

Oh, how exciting anne!  Good luck!

---

boos_mom
Message #1133 - 12/24/08 06:46 PM



anne - since you're almost 38 weeks, geronimo!  both of mine were early, 1.5 - 2 weeks.  best wishes to you for a safe, healthy and happy delivery!

sjk - sounds like the clomid is great preparation for being pregnant, as that's what it was like for me, plus you're always hot!  whew, I know some women enjoy being pregnant, but I'm not one of them.

Happy holidays to everyone.  Hope you have a safe and merry celebrations!

---

eastside-resident78
Message #1134 - 12/24/08 09:22 PM



My husband and I are trying to conceive after 5 years of marriage. We knew we wanted to have a baby in 2009. My husband and I have $6000 saved in baby fund. In March we'll receive a bonus from work for about $13,000 (take home) and this will go toward the baby as well. I am trying to save as much money as I can by buying gently-used baby items. Is this wrong?

We bought gently-used crib($30), bassinet($20), bunch of toys($20), children's books($10), blankets, 15 baby bottles--some are actually new ($5), wipe warmer ($10), clothes all from craigslist. I know that some things I have to buy new such as mattress.

I was wondering if anyone else is doing what I am doing or am I the only one?

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1135 - 12/24/08 09:52 PM



eastside-resident: I don't think what you are doing is wrong at all!  I'd just check certain items to make sure they meet today's safety standards and haven't been recalled.  I purchased my crib, dresser, and glider off craigslist.  I tried to go to consignment and used clothing stores for the baby's clothes but they were more expensive than just buying them new with coupons so I went the new route.  Shopping over a long period of time can get you great bargains.  I ended up buying my bedding new at Pottery Barn (just certain pieces) for cheaper than they were going on Ebay (clearanced plus 15% off) so I'd just pay attention.

---

eastside-resident78
Message #1136 - 12/24/08 10:04 PM



Thank you Anne. Speaking of baby consignment store, I went to one last weekend and I found so many baby clothes for $1. They looked like new!! I happen to have a 15% off coupon for the store so I bought a stack of baby clothes in neutral colors. They had gently-used beddings but cost almost as much as buying new so I am going to hold off on that until I find a good deal somewhere.

People told me to stock on diapers? How do I know how many the baby is going to use per day? And what sizes do I need to stock up on? Should I wait? I mean, I am not even pregnant yet.

What other things I need to pay attention from now to prepare for the baby? I have been taking prenatal vitamin, extra folic acid, (doctor prescribed me this since there is a family member in my husband's side of family who has down syndrome), and vitamin B12 (I am a vegetarian)?

---

anne81
Message #1137 - 12/25/08 08:42 PM

And what sizes do I need to stock up on? Should I wait?

I stockpiled money instead of diapers because my mom friends said sometimes you have to try different brands before you know what will work well for your baby. 

 

I looked through the toys r'us add in today's newspaper.  They had a coupon for 15% off any medela breastpump at babies r'us starting tomorrow.

---

MittenKitten
Message #1138 - 12/25/08 10:50 PM



Happy Holidays!!!

eastside:  I would caution you to not use the diaperwipe warmer as I have heard the heat causes the germs to thrive.  While it may seem mean to us a cold wipe on the babies bottom they get used to it.  I would wait until you are pregnant to buy diapers or if you find a really good sale.  Buy a variety of sizes, and keep the receipt then if they don't fit you can exchange them.  If you have many people that will be throwing baby showers for you you may want to wait to purchase other items.  If I were you I would be on the lookout for a gently used Pack N Play and high chair. 

---

ARMD
Message #1139 - 12/26/08 02:46 AM

I started stockpiling diapers about the time that we got married. I have, however, gotten a wide variety of sizes and a few different brands. If you are going to stock up on diapers, babies usually tend to wear size 3 longer than any other size. I wouldn't buy a lot of newborn as you never know how big your baby might be. I figure if I end up buying too many of a size and have leftovers, then I can either wait and use them with the next baby or I can resell them or give them as gifts at baby showers or to friends, etc. I am hoping to kind of keep track of how many of what size we use for this baby, so I have an idea of how many we may need for our next baby. We shall see how long that lasts. What I did to stockpile though was to buy them at yard sales, get them off of freecycle, I used coupons, etc. I have found though that the price of diapers really hasn't changed all that much in the few years that I've been stockpiling them, so unless you find a great bargain I probably wouldn't worry about buying a ton of diapers ahead of time. I have just found that it's sometimes easier to spend the money before baby comes since you usually seem to have more money available to spend or at least you can look at it as spending money for something you will probably later NEED and not on something that you may WANT at the time.

Buying used is a great way to save money. You just have to be sure that they are up to standard and in good shape. Clothes are definitely something to look at getting used unless you can hit the end of season sales and such. I'm not sure about other people, but sometimes I tend to forget that K-mart exists, and they have really great baby clothes sales at the end of the season. I hit a sale not too long ago that was something like take an additional 45% off the clearance price marked. Again, if your child is not able to wear these clothes, you can usually resell them (sometimes for more than what you purchased them for if you hit a sale). Also, don't take the tags off, so you have an idea of how much you did pay for them and maybe even keep the receipt with them if possible if you paid below the marked price.

If you're thinking about stockpiling baby stuff, consider what baby uses a lot of and what will actually keep before purchasing it. For example, DO NOT stockpile baby WIPES because they go dry after awhile even in their packaging. If you can get a good bargain on things like baby lotion, oil, shampoo, etc., those are probably good things to stockpile (just remember that babies won't use much of these things at a time because they are so little). It probably makes more sense to stockpile clothes but keep in mind that it's not always possible to know exactly what time of year the baby will come. However, gowns, onsies, sleepers, etc. can usually be used in any season. Just don't go crazy and buy a ton of outfits that the baby may never wear. Doing that definitely won't save you money in the long run, and you'll run out of storage space. And as far as the bedding goes, try to buy things separately as this will save you money since you can't use some of the bedding that comes in the "set" anyway. What I did was buy neutral bumper pads with stars and moons on them (people will tell you not to use these anyway), and then I bought sheets that would go with them (i.e. yellow, blue, white). I bought a comforter separately to hang on the wall (again you can't use this in the crib). Best wishes.

---

ARMD
Message #1140 - 12/26/08 03:00 AM

Question for y'all, I will be 36 weeks along tomorrow, and hubby and I are looking to get away for the weekend. We will be driving a little less than 100 miles away from home. Am I crazy for doing this with only a month to go? My pregnancy has been pretty uneventful except for the GD and a little extra protein in my urine (doc doesn't seem concerned at this time). I see the doctor for a regular appointment tomorrow before we plan on leaving. I guess my only hesitation is that I could technically go into labor at any time although there haven't been any signs that I would. It's also not like there isn't a great hospital available there if we need it. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance that everything will be fine and that I should just go and enjoy myself.

[Virgil Showlion]

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1141 - 12/26/08 10:20 PM



sbcaligirl,

I did a routine of back stretches before bed every night and that helped with the insomnia.  You can't very well be expected to fall asleep again if you're in pain.  Every stretch was for 30 seconds or they didn't work.  Long stretching tells your muscles to go to sleep and routines get your mind ready for sleep. 

 

---

Holly Smith
Message #1142 - 12/28/08 09:57 PM

The only baby things I would not buy used are sleeping equipment (cribs, bassinets, etc), and carseats.  Cribs because even if you can check for recalls, you just don't know how well it was cared for.  One image of my three-year-old nephew swinging from his like Tarzan should be explanation enough.  I'm just not that trusting of strangers to care for a piece of equipment that my baby will spend 2/3 of every day in.  As for the carseat, you won't know if it's been in an accident, and it's often hard to tell how old it is.

Other than that, I'm a huge fan of consignment shops.  I bought clothes, toys, books, a swing, a high chair and a bouncy seat for Elizabeth from secondhand stores.  Just find out when they do their purchasing and be sure to stop by just after that so you get the best selection.  I've also found that having cash on hand often helps with customers competing for the same thing.

Diapers- I wouldn't go all crazy with the stocking up.  It's not like they won't be there when the baby gets to be the next size.  It's less a matter of knowing how often you'll need to change the baby (like 10-12 times a day at first), but rather when they'll go up to the next size.  Elizabeth was in newborn size diapers until she was almost two months.  But some babies are only in them for a couple of weeks.  Buy smaller packages to start out with, then move up to the economy-sized boxes once you know your baby will be in that size for awhile.  You could also consider cloth.  BumGenius diapers are almost as easy as disposables and come in one-size.  Then you'd never have to deal with a bunch of extra disposables that your baby grew out of.

ARMD- I'd go and enjoy yourself.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1143 - 12/29/08 07:07 PM



I am 38 weeks today which means little AJ will be coming in the next 2-3 weeks... I plan on breast feeding/pumping and going back to work 6 weeks after delivery. I don't have a pump yet. What should I get?

 

Obviously I don't want the most expensive one, but I also don't want a cheap piece of crap that is made in China and will give us all kidney stones or something... they seemed to be about $150-$200 at Target, which seemed RIDICULOUS to me... but then again I hate spending money on things that are not FUN.

 

Please advise

---

bogart
Message #1144 - 12/30/08 12:05 AM

@godessofrock -- congratulations on the pending arrival of your little one.  I used a Medela pump-n-style handed down to me by a friend and just sterilized the stuff that's not part of the machine itself by boiling it in water for 5 minutes the first time before I used it (I was, ahem, less careful after that).  The companies that sell the things (and some message board posters) will give you dire warnings about it being impossible to sterilize these things because you can't boil the machine itself (just the tubes, cones, bottles, etc.) but as the milk comes directly out of the breast into the cone and then drips into the bottle (the tubes just provide the air), I could not see how that could possibly be a problem (my doula, who was a nurse by training, agreed with this). 

You should be able to find a used unit on Craigslist for $100 or less if you want to go that route.  I'd recommend getting it and learning how to use it (conceptually, not actually, obviously, unless you do get to where you want to help nature along!) before your baby arrives.  As far as I can tell, most of us need the things pretty soon after birth either to help increase supply or to help deal with oversupply...

---

anne81
Message #1145 - 12/30/08 12:23 AM

goddess - I got the medela pump in style which was highly recommended by my friend's mom (she's a nurse and a lactation consultant.)   I was lucky - my insurance paid for it as long as I purchased it at an approved medical supply store.  They are about $279 at BRU (they had a coupon for 15% off in my newspaper this weekend for medela pumps).  You can buy new tubing and shields for a used one for about $20 online.  From what I've read and heard from experienced moms the more you plan to pump the better quality pump you should get.

ugh - I was at 3 cm and 80% effaced a week ago and nothing yet!  I have an appointment tomorrow morning and I'm hoping my midwife will tell me that I'm miraculously at 8 cm and to head straight over to the hospital.

---

ARMD
Message #1146 - 12/30/08 12:52 AM

I just wanted to update everyone that DH and I did go away for the weekend and everything went fine. I was a tad stressed when it decided to sleet and snow and the roads got really slick. We slid a few times (once into the curb-thankfully it was there), but no major mishaps or accidents. I guess being a first mom makes you a bit more anxious about doing things out of the ordinary or too far away from home. We did enjoy a nice couple days away from home even though we did literally shop until we dropped. We hit a lot of good sales though and got some baby stuff with our gift cards including a lot that was on sale or clearance for a really good price. The only thing that upset me was the fact that I somehow left our BRU gift card at home (upsetting because the nearest BRU is where we went for the weekend over 60 miles away). Thank goodness for being able to shop online from home.

[Virgil Showlion]

kristi28
Message #1147 - 12/30/08 08:12 AM



I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season so far, and have a great new year!

Anne: I hope that your little tax deduction gets here before the first of the year.    And yes, one of my in-laws got DD a onesie that says "Daddy's little tax deduction".  Keep us posted!

We got almost all baby clothes either used or as gifts.  I agree with Holly about the crib and car seat.  My brother got a crib from a friend for my nephew, so he knew how it had been treated, but I think even that would have made me nervous.

Baby girl is now 6 weeks old.  She continues to do very well, although her parents are more than a little exhausted.  This is the first night in recent memory where she didn't spend much of the wee hours screaming.  If anyone has any good suggestions about what to do with a gassy baby, I'd love to hear them.  As of now, DH and I are just taking turns being on "fussy baby duty", so that the other one of us can get a little bit of sleep.

I don't have any suggestions about pumps; we ended up deciding to bottle feed.  With all of the problems that I had surrounding my delivery, I just didn't have the health and strength.  If any of you aren't successful with BFing and have to go this route, don't feel too bad.  Her doctor says that she will certainly thrive on formula as well.  DD has done really well this way, and I have had a little more time for sleep and recovery, as her daddy can feed her, too.

A week ago, DD went to her doctor for her one month appointment.  You may remember that I was very concerned about her, as she was only 5.5 lbs at about 10 days old.  I appreciated all of the encouraging words from so many of you about how she would be fine.  Turns out you were all correct; at five and a half weeks old, she had grown to an amazing 9 lbs!  Her daddy says that he makes a tasty bottle of formula. 

Again, thanks everyone for all the support.  Have a wonderful new year!

---

goddessofrock
Message #1148 - 12/30/08 02:21 PM



Congrats Kristi!

 

When is your actual due date Anne??

 

I'm due the 12th and babies in my fam usually go on time or late... (mom had me 2 weeks late!)

 

 

---

anne81
Message #1149 - 12/30/08 07:23 PM



ARMD - I'm glad you had fun on your trip!

 

kristi - your little girl has put on a lot of weight - that's wonderful!  I wish I had some advice about gassy babies.

 

goddess - my actual due date is January 9th.  The midwife told me today I'm 3-4 cm and 80% effaced still - she says that it's not going to change until I go into actual labor.  I'm really lucky, a lot of people don't have that much progress before active labor, but I'm really, really done.  My physical therapist's office was shut down because of the snow so my SPD is totally awful right now.

 

So I'm scheduled for an induction next Monday which makes me feel lame because there is no medical reason - I'm just at the end of my rope.  My midwife says that it's really favorable with how much I've progressed so far.  I'm superstitious so I'm hoping scheduling it will make the baby come sooner.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1150 - 12/30/08 07:38 PM

Who has a gassy baby? one of my friends told me to get the Doctor Brown's bottles. She said her baby never had a problem with gas and the baby is one year now.

---

boos_mom
Message #1151 - 12/30/08 08:13 PM



armd - glad you had a nice getaway.  I certainly would've gone too.  Enjoy your last few weeks of "good" sleep and doing things on a whim! 

kristi - nice to see DD has gained weight well.  Usually, with formula, it's easy for babies to gain weight.  I love chubby babies.  #2 has a bib that say 'Don't squeeze the cheeks'.  Have you tried those mylicon drops that folks have recommended?  I've never tried them, but if it helps...

goddess - I have a hand-me-down Medela Pump in Style.  It's 10 years old and still going.  I'm the fourth person to have used it and I just got new hoses, bottles, breastshields etc. (with each new kid as well).

anne - are you able to do some walking or some "special time" with DH?  That might help get it moving along.  Otherwise, just be warned that the pitocin really is "the pits", but it is nice to finally have it over!  Good luck.

re: used stuff and stocking up.  I took a hand-me-down bigger car seat from a close relative.  But, I wouldn't necessarily get one from someone I didn't know/trust with my child's life.  I wouldn't stock up on diapers either.  Just save the money and use it when the time comes.  You don't know if your baby will be allergic to a brand or grow quickly or slowly.  I do like the Kirkland diapers from Costco (aka Huggies Supreme).  Also, when baby sleeps through the night, you may want to go up a size so you don't have leaks (which is basically what those overnight diapers are, a bigger size).  Both my babies went through newborn - 3 fairly quickly.  Size 4 and up are the ones they stayed in longer, especially #1 she was in 5's by 5 months old -- big chubby thighs.

Anyway, my maternity leave is ending and I'll be back at work.  I'm a little more worried with #2, just because of his disposition.  He doesn't go to anyone (unlike #1) and cries more when he's anxious or scared.  He won't start with the HDCP until Monday though, so we'll see how that goes....

---

Holly Smith
Message #1152 - 12/31/08 05:07 AM

Good pumps are typically $150+.  I have the Medela Pump-in-Style Advanced, which I paid about $250 for.  I've heard the Lansinoh one is also very good, and costs about $150.

If you think pumps are expensive, you should try formula.  Costs about $120/month for most people, more if a baby has to have special kinds.  I got a good pump and I was religious about getting a stash built up, and as such I've never had to buy formula for Elizabeth.

[Virgil Showlion]

lady.by.the.lake
Message #1153 - 01/01/09 09:00 PM



Happy New Year everyone!

2009 will be exciting for all of us - whether we're expecting a baby or have recently had one! There will be lots of "firsts" this year!

I just wanted to drop in and say hello - and see how everyone is getting along.

ARMD - I'm glad your trip went well. I gave birth at 36 weeks, with no advance warning that things would get rolling that soon, so I'm glad to hear that your baby decided to hang in there and let you all have your trip.

My baby girl is 8 weeks old today, and I can't believe she's that old already!! She's such a sweet baby - I wish she could stay a newborn forever, but then again, I know she'll be lots of fun as she gets older too.

She gave us her first "real" smile on New Year's Eve!!! That was quite possibly my happiest moment since the first time I held her 8 weeks ago. It was precious, and I'm so glad that her dad and I were both around to see it! Since then, though, she saves all her smiles for me. Won't give her Daddy one for anything! It's a little funny! Either I'm her favorite - or I'm just funny looking. Not sure which.

I finally gave up on breastfeeding at about 6 weeks. It's a long story, but there were lots of obstacles, and it just didn't end up going well at all. I finally figured out that I was making myself (and, therefore, my baby) more miserable by trying so hard to make it work - to the point that there were no rewards associated with it at all. It was really hard to admit defeat, but I finally did - and within a couple of days, I was feeling OK about my decision.

I go back to work on Monday, and I'm absolutely dreading it. The good news is that we aren't going to have to put the baby in day care. We are going to adjust our schedules, with a little back-up help from my mom, so that we can keep her at home. I will still miss her while I'm gone for my part of the day, though. Plus, I thought I didn't have any time to do what I need/want to do before... I can't imagine how I'm going to do everything once I throw work back into the mix as well! Any suggestions? (Granted, it will help that the holidays are finally behind us. It was really difficult to do all the shopping, cleaning, decorating, etc., involved with the holidays while tending to my clingy newborn!)

Stockpiling: I have two comments off the top of my head... We got LOTS of wipes and size newborn and size 1 diapers as gifts at baby showers, and I'm really glad about that. We haven't had to purchase any diapers or wipes yet, and she's 8 weeks old. It helped that she was tiny when she was born, so everything has fit her correctly. If I'd had a 9-pounder who doubled in size in 8 weeks, it might have not worked out so well. (Then again, wouldn't stores exchange them if they're unopened?) Also, as far as clothes go, that's one thing I would NOT recommend stockpiling. Yes, you need to be sure that you have plenty for him/her to wear in the first couple months, but until you know how big he/she will be, purchasing clothes is a very risky endeavor. My baby has been wearing newborn and some preemie clothing since she was born, even though she is now almost 2 months old. We have TONS of 0-3 month clothing for her, but it's all still way too big, and I'm beginning to doubt that she'll ever be able to wear it all while the weather is still cool/cold. (It's all winter clothing.) I would make sure that you have at least a couple things in each size (preemie, newborn, and 0-3) to start with, and then build the baby's wardrobe after he/she is born. Also, as it is with adult clothing, different brands are different when it comes to sizing. Some 0-3 month outfits are really close to being able to fit my baby, and others look like they won't fit her until NEXT winter!

I better go for now. I think a dirty diaper is summoning me... Good luck to everyone with their pregnancies/deliveries/babies!

---

Jess H
Message #1154 - 01/02/09 02:29 AM



Yea, talking about babies!  I think the last time I was on the Women in Red boards (posting anyway) I had just recently found out we were having a little one, and now she's almost 9 months old.  I was so happy to find this thread was still going.  I didn't read all the posts, but I'll jump in now. 

 

I have had great luck with the Lansinoh pump, got it for about $150 at Wal-Mart.  I'm still nursing and pump twice a day at work and usually one time at home (I've got supply issues and have trouble keeping up with my hungry little girl!).  For those of you hoping to nurse or having trouble with it, if you want to keep with it just make it work for you.  Up until our baby was 8 weeks old I didn't have enough milk so we supplemented with formula.  I was kind of sad about it - she needed a bottle about an hour after she was born, and I was hoping to totally avoid formula! - but then I realized as long as she is getting what she needs to eat that's all that matters.  And magically at 8 weeks my body finally caught up with her.  Now she is doing some solids and I'm able to keep up with her milk needs so we haven't had to go back to formula at all.  I don't want this to sound like I think formula feeding is bad (everyone should do what works for them and their life), but I really wanted to breastfeed and I'm so glad I stuck with it- so if you are having issues from the start and want to keep going with, just keep trying. 

 

Question for you all:  If you have a savings account or 529 for your young ones, how much do you contribute per month?  We have a 529 for baby, but I worry that we should be doing more- although I know deep down if we save more it should probably go for our retirement before college savings for her anyway...  I just would like to know what others are doing. 

---

anne81
Message #1155 - 01/02/09 11:44 PM

Just thought I'd let you know that after an awful week I had my baby boy last night!  He was born at exactly 39 weeks at 8 lbs and 7 oz.  According to all the measurements the hospital does (skin, hair, sucking, etc) he's actually 40 weeks, 6 days.

Back to the awful week; at my Tuesday appt I convinced my midwife to induce me next Monday because the SPD (split pelvis thingy) was making it incredibly painful to walk or sleep.  She was really reluctant because this is my first baby and I wasn't overdue, nor was there a medical reason.  I started having contractions about 7-10 minutes apart that weren't making my abdomen hurt - they just felt like my pubic bone was being ground between two rocks.  When they were 5 minutes apart I went to L&D - they told me the contractions weren't doing anything and sent me home after a shot of morphine and two vistaril (which didn't help with the pain or put me to sleep!)  That night I spoke to the on-call Dr. who was incredibly mean - he basically told me that the pain was normal and that "my onlyl solution was to have the baby."  In two weeks, when he was due.    So they gave me another shot of morphine and two ambien which didn't put me to sleep again.  Unfortunately with the SPD the typical things you do during labor to relieve pain make it worse or don't help at all - you can't walk around, switch position, bath doesn't help, etc.

After two days of 5 minute apart contractions and no sleep I insisted on being induced - when they checked me in they found I was 6 cm dilated.  So they gave me an epidural and I gave birth about 8 hours later.   I've felt great ever since!  Got my first two continuous hours of sleep in weeks, most of the pelvic pain is gone, feel better than I have in months.  And I'm in love with my little baby.  Thanks for listening to my long complaint. 

---

boos_mom
Message #1156 - 01/03/09 01:05 AM



anne - congratulations!  What a wonderful new year's gift!   

jess - our goal is to put away $2K per child per year.  That would definitely cover tuition at the local university.  If our children want to go elsewhere, they will need to get scholarships to help defray the costs.  If push comes to shove and things get tighter, we will contribute less toward the college funds before reducing our retirement savings.  I figure that we can always try to help pay for college out of our then-current income, if we don't upgrade our lifestyle in the coming years.  While I don't want my kids to have too much student loan debt, I do know that I certainly don't want to burden my kids with helping to pay for my expenses in retirement.  Plus, I can always gift money to my adult children (to help with downpayments or pay off loans) if I am somehow rolling in the retirement dough.

lady - Good luck to you on Monday!  I've just returned to work and I'm missing the little one a lot.  I've been calling DH and checking up on them periodically throughout the day.  I love my welcome home smile from #2.  And I've got his pictures taped up on my cubby walls. 

---

goddessofrock
Message #1157 - 01/03/09 03:54 AM

congrats Anne!!

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #1158 - 01/03/09 04:14 AM



Congrats Anne! Yeah.

I read this entire thread Tuesday and Wednesday (I was really bored at work). Wow do you guys have a lot of information (some of it I didn't want to know).  It was really interesting following the journeys you have been on.  DH and I are going to TTC starting in June so we gathering up advice now, but not in real life because I don't want people asking me are you pregnant over and over again. When I had my annual in Oct, my gyn gave me a lot of info (she really rocks). But she doesn't do OB . Is that normal? I hate the idea of finding a new doctor (considering I generally dislike doctors and don't even have a general practicioner). Obviously I have to, but I was just curious what everyone else's experience was on that front.  I feel about as prepared as I think we can possibly be for this next step. We have talked a lot about parenting styles and what we believe and don't about raising kids.  My sister and brother's experiences with having kids has ranged from having an oopsy which turned out to be a sick baby to having a pretty public miscarriage (my SIL had just passed 3 mo and they had just told everyone).  So I have learned a lot from their 6 pregnancies.  DH and I still have time to get a few things done (DH says he is quitting smoking, I want to get in a little better shape). But I am compulsive planner; so I am trying to think of anything I might miss. I am also a bit superstitious and will not buy anything baby related until we conceive (so telling to stock up now on diapers isn't going to happen). At this point I am planning to go off the pill in March.  Anyway, that is my plans. I know they never go as you think when you have kids, but we can try.

I am very excited for all of you having babies here shortly.  Congrats.

[Virgil Showlion]

ARMD
Message #1159 - 01/04/09 04:11 AM

Before getting pregnant, I saw a nurse practitioner for my annual exams and obviously she doesn't do OB care, so I had to find another doctor. I have a regular male doctor, but I would rather have a female doctor for OB care. I was fortunate in that we recently had a female doctor come to our small town. As a matter of fact, she had her baby the day I had my first prenatal visit. I went to my regular doctor (who is also an OB) until she came back from maternity leave. Then, I switched over to her. It can get rather complicated when you don't have many choices. So anyways, it is not that uncommon for a doctor to do one type of care but not another. I am fortunate in that my doctor and all the other doctors in our town are also qualified pediatricians, so I don't have to find a pediatrician in addition to my current doctor like you sometimes have to in a larger city.

Along the stockpiling thing, remember that you do have 9 months to get ready for baby. That should be plenty of time to come up with what you need. I wouldn't worry about that part. Also, if there are already that many kids in the extended family, surely you will be offered tons of hand me downs once you conceive and tell everyone the news. Just remember to keep coming back to this thread for more useful advice. Best wishes to you.

---

What a Catch
Message #1160 - 01/05/09 01:05 AM



I will be going in for my annual in March, which will be my last one before we start TTC (wedding is in August, want to start a few months after that).  What should be on my list of things to ask her?  I am perfectly fine with needles, blood, all that medical stuff (I'm a dental hygienist), but I'm embarrassingly claustrophobic so going to a hospital is a huge fear of mine.  Visiting someone I am ok.  Having to go as a patient and the possibility of being put in an elevator is enough to make me say "NO BABY!"  So I am hoping she will lead me to other options (A birthing center, home birth, anywhere without elevators so I will feel more comfortable).  I understand that the birth may not go as planned and a hospital may be involved, but my DF has already  been instructed if that occurs just knock me out before I go in

I have been on prenatal vitamins for a couple years now (it's the only thing I've found that makes my levels high enough to donate blood), so I'm good with that part.  It's everything else I am clueless about.

 

Also, is it too early to start visiting day cares in the area?  I would really like to be able to get a feel for the prices around here and to see some.  Will they think I'm crazy if I call for tours and I'm not even pregnant??  Nobody close to me uses day care, but I have visited a friend in another state when she was looking so I know they are expensive!

 

Advice, criticism, insight is appreciated!

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #1161 - 01/05/09 03:23 PM



What a Catch - At my annual with my DR back in October I had the same discussion with her as you are going to have with yours.  I just mentioned to her that in the next year that we were going to ttc. She just had a wealth of information to give me.  The hospital she is affiliated with does a free seminar called Pondering Parenthood and she mentioned that to me. So you might want to ask if yours does something similar.  We just chatted about things and she was eager to share. We even had a talk about older husbands and kids and careers.  I have no clue about daycares, but I live in an area where daycare is pretty inexpensive and from what I think I have figured out (since I have no one to ask, no one I know has kids in daycare or even had kids in daycare) is that openings are pretty common at centers and home daycare providers are very common and often have openings.

ARMD - Thanks for the advise. I do live in an area where there are pleanty of choices (2 good size hospitals in town), but I will have to find a seperate pediatrician.  As for handmedowns, there will be some, but my sister's youngest is already 4.5 and she gave a lot of her stuff to her SIL. She did save a few things specifically for me even though she knew it would be a while.  My brother and his wife I think are still planning on having a few more kids. So they may not be ready to give things away. But I am not averse from taking handmedown stuff from friends too (of course most of our friends don't have kids and don't plan to in the next couple years, have kids in Junior high, or are grandparents...we have an odd assortment of friends).  

---

mom2abi
Message #1162 - 01/05/09 04:16 PM



Congratulation anne!

 

MuttleynFelix - I am a planner too.   But I think that unless you have health issues there's really not a whole lot to do before ttc.  Getting in a little better shape is a great goal; other than that the only things that are coming to mind are reading up on what to expect, taking prenatals and maybe starting to save for maternity leave/medical expenses/baby stuff.  Nine months will be plenty of time to accumulate everything you'll need for a baby.  Good luck!

---

What a Catch
Message #1163 - 01/06/09 01:17 AM

MuttleynFelix - thanks so much, you made me feel better.  I hope there is something like Pondering Parenthood here, that would be an excellent class.  I never thought there would be something like that offered - I will look into it around here!

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #1164 - 01/06/09 02:12 AM



Classical cat - Yeah I thought 9 months is plenty of time, but one of the ladies on the No Spend thread said hey stock up now and while I didn't tell her heck no, that was what I was thinking. So, I thought I would just throw it out there that in this regard I am superstitious (or maybe pragmatic).  My brother and SIL's miscarriage really got me when it happened. Maybe morose because they had just told me they were pregnant (I think they called me on Thursday and she miscarried on Sunday and they had just passed the 1st trimester).

[Virgil Showlion]

Sarahsmiling
Message #1165 - 01/06/09 06:16 AM



Muttley--a lot of families/societies have superstitions about having babies.  I know tons of parents that never got one thing until that baby was born.  

If you know of someone who has had a MC, it really hits home.  After we had our first MC, I found out a lot more people I knew had had them, also.  Still is so sad and shocking when it happens. 

We had our first as a surprise (read:pre-wedding).   The one thing that I would have liked to have under control before I got PG was my caffeine addiction.  First, you are sooo tired in trimester one and then, you are really encouraged to decrease your caffeine intake.  That was really hard for me.  Otherwise, the vitamins, light exercise, and finances are the other priorities.  also read baby care books if you are really nervous.  I have friends that never read them thinking they would have time after the baby came! (?!?)

---

sjk279
Message #1166 - 01/06/09 02:10 PM



MuttleynFelix - I'm superstitious too... I feel like it hasn't happened for me yet because I bought the gift for MIL when we find out... oh well... I can't really go back to Missouri and return it  If you are taking a multi-vitamin, get another Folic Acid supplement to take... you might as well start now. My OB said that as soon as you start planning for when to have a baby, start with the Folic Acid. He said that it's pretty astounding how many oopsies happen as soon as people have a plan for when to start trying.

Another thing to find out is your insurance coverage. Detailed too. What are your out of pocket responsibilities? What sort of ultrasounds do they cover? (e.g. some insurances don't cover 3D ultrasounds) What about infertility treatments? (I was just socked with the bills for all my ultrasounds to monitor the clomid I'm taking) it's best to know so you don't feel like you're punched in the stomach when you get the 'denied' Explanation of Benefits.

---

New-Mummy
Message #1167 - 01/06/09 02:36 PM



I agree not stocking up till right before, it was very hard having all these little girl things around and having to find places for them to go. Call it pragmatism with a touch of superstition most likely. My neighbor has a girl due in February and I want to get her a gift but I'm not doing it till I see the baby in somebody's arms coming in the door.

---

WigglinRoom
Message #1168 - 01/07/09 09:21 PM



Did Lakshmi ever update us with her results...?

 

Sorry - just wondering. She seemed so sweet!

---

sbcaligirl
Message #1169 - 01/07/09 10:02 PM



I've heard of a few ways to "stock up" without buying actual stuff....

1) Some people buy giftcards to Target/Walmart etc every pay period so they have a stash of money for baby stuff when the time arrives.

2) I have a "slush fund" for the baby that I've been transfering small dollar amounts to, usually to get my checking account to a pretty number since I'm a bit compulsive  - it now has $450 in it that we'll be able to draw on for formula/diapers etc once the baby arrives.

3) I've also heard of saving a specific denomination or just new $10s or $20s to have a diaper stash.

If you're a planner, you'll probably be saving for specific purposes but these are little ways to help with stocking up if you don't want to buy actual stuff for whatever reasons. 

---

Holly Smith
Message #1170 - 01/08/09 08:52 PM

I saved my money every month in a savings acct for baby stuff- I think I was able to save about $4K over the course of my pregnancy.

[Virgil Showlion]

lostatsea4444
Message #1171 - 01/08/09 09:37 PM



I've skimmed through this, but didn't have time to read all 98 posts! Lots of good information.

My DH and I are expecting our first this August and I am freaking out about money.

Our budget right now is comfortable but there is no margin for extras.

Daycare will defintely be a necessity for us. As will buying almost everything as we have no siblings/relatives to get handy me downs from.

Same for maternity clothes. Most of my girlfriends who recently had babies are differnt sizes then me...

I'm hoping to nurse and avoid cost of formula but know that I really don't have control over that

 

What do other people do to come up with $ for all of the stuff and then the new added monthly expenses for daycare?
BTW our day care is going to be between $1,000 and $1,350 a month.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1172 - 01/08/09 09:54 PM

Congratulation Anne!  Good job! 

As for maternity clothes, if you're in a casual work environment, you can just get some clothing in larger sizes like oversize t-shirts or elastic waisted black pants.  My cousins sent me their maternity clothes, most of it didn't fit but a few of the tops did.  It helped and provided some variety! 

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1173 - 01/08/09 10:09 PM

lostatsea , if you put the word out at work that you are willing to take hand-me-downs, you'll probably get a bunch of maternity clothes and baby clothes from coworkers. 

---

boos_mom
Message #1174 - 01/09/09 07:25 PM



lost - We started living like we had the daycare cost once we found out I was pregnant.  Thus, you take that money and save each month and you've got your baby savings after 9 months.  Plus, you'll have the deposit and reg fees for daycare saved up as well.  If you have a flex dependent care plan at work, this will also give you the buffer between paying up front and receiving the reimbursement from your work plan.  For maternity and baby clothes, definitely check out thrift stores or Ross Dress for Less or Craigslist.  You may get hand-me-downs from co-workers, but you might not.  But, if you do have baby showers, you will probably get lots of baby clothes as gifts.  Also, if you get stuff from baby showers, you can return duplicates and exchange them for credit to buy bouncers, playpen, crib, etc.

lakshmi - we're hoping things are okay with you and baby

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1175 - 01/09/09 09:20 PM

The only problem with stocking up is that you end up getting a lot of stuff you really don't need, which will keep you from getting stuff you really do need.   Every mother and baby have different needs.  Those folks at the baby stores will bankrupt you if given half a chance, and a lot of the stuff they tell you you need is really unnecessary.  For example, I bought a second hand swing that we never used.  Maybe we'll use it with the next one.  I also thought those baby baths were silly and later found that I really needed one.  I was told that you can't have too many onsies, but later found that I preferred those shirts that snapped on the side like a bathrobe. 

---

bogart
Message #1176 - 01/10/09 03:34 AM

lost@sea, if your or your DH's employer offers them, you can use a daycare flex account to shelter $5K per year from taxes to put toward daycare expenses.  All this does is save you the taxes (so if you're in the 25% bracket, getting $5K taken out pre-tax saves you $1.25K per year, or 25% of $5K), but every little bit helps.  You can add a contribution to this account when your family status changes, i.e., when your baby is born; you can generally only put in a certain amount each month and are at your employer's mercy in terms of processing the paperwork, so get the paperwork in right after birth -- DH can handle this, obviously! -- to maximize what you can shelter.  What are your and/or his plans for parental leave, if any?

Good infant daycare is expensive, especially in an HCOLA.  There's just no way around it.

I found acceptable maternity wear in thrift shops (you could also try craigslist, or buy a lot on ebay).  You don't need lots of clothes, though I got tired of what I had by month 9...

You don't need a ton of stuff before the baby arrives.  A carseat, a bassinet or crib (buy a new carseat -- those that have been in accidents aren't safe and may not show the damage; a used crib that meets current safety standards is fine if you check the model you buy for recalls), several packs of onesies, some diapers, wipes, and ointment, some breast pads, a breast pump (can also be bought used) would be my list of basic must-haves; everything else can be bought after, and hopefully you'll get a lot of what you need as gifts and/or hand-me-downs.

Congratulations on your growing family!

[Virgil Showlion]

ARMD
Message #1177 - 01/10/09 05:37 AM

Well, the time has come. Baby will be here hopefully by sometime on Monday. The doc had me do another 24 hour urine test for protein and it came back high at 480, so here we go. Unless something happens sooner, I am supposed to arrive at the hospital at 8 PM on Sunday. They will start trying to soften my cervix and see if labor starts on its own or if they will give me pitocin Monday morning to try to start labor. I am hoping that I end up going on my own as I know how long it can take when you are induced. I just thought I'd let everyone know what was happening since I will be disappearing for awhile. Keep the thread going. Y'all have a lot of good info. to share. It has helped me a lot. Thanks.

---

anne81
Message #1178 - 01/10/09 10:50 PM

As will buying almost everything as we have no siblings/relatives to get handy me downs from.

I'm in the same boat as you.  I bought a lot of stuff off craigslist for substantial discounts (furniture, monitor, etc).  My baby is 9 days old and I kind of recommend not stocking up on a lot of random baby stuff.  I was told the infant swaddler and sleep sacks were musts - my baby will only use receiving blankets which are much cheaper.

Same for maternity clothes. Most of my girlfriends who recently had babies are differnt sizes then me..

I ended up with maternity clothes in a variety of sizes so I wouldn't assume that nothing will fit - you will be amazed by how your body changes.  I also ended up not using half of what I purchased.

Lakshmi - I'm thinking of you too!

ARMD - good luck tomorrow!  I hope it goes quick and smooth for you.  One thing I was not prepared for was the boredom after I got the epidural. They turned the pitocin off because I was continuosly contracting but I couldn't feel a thing.  Movies and books are good.

Is it normal for a week old infant to eat 3 oz's every hour to two hours?  It feels like I'm constantly pumping and nursing.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1179 - 01/11/09 12:03 AM

Good luck ARMD.

---

Jess H
Message #1180 - 01/11/09 01:56 AM



Anne81,

 

Yes!  Sounds like you have a great eater on your hands.  Our LO seemed like she was constantly eating, especially that early on.  It's tiring, but it's better than worrying if they are getting enough.  And ours still seems to eat more often that some of the other babies at daycare- I really think she just has a high metabolism. 

 

Enjoy these first few weeks...it's amazing how fast they change!

---

goddessofrock
Message #1181 - 01/11/09 06:57 PM



Little AJ is here! My water broke at 2am Tuesday and the little one decided to join us just before 1am on Wednesday!!

 

He was one week early and a little jaundice, but we're healthy and chillin at home! Time for my nap!

---

MuttleynFelix
Message #1182 - 01/11/09 09:33 PM

Congrats Goddess!

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1183 - 01/11/09 11:06 PM

Congrats on AJ Goddess!   Glad you both are home and doing well.

---

boos_mom
Message #1184 - 01/12/09 12:29 AM



armd - best wishes on safe delivery!

goddess - congratulations!  both of my babies were jaundiced, but they didn't need the bili lights or anything.  It did take a few weeks for it to go away though, especially if you're primarily breastfeeding.

anne - It is within the normal range.  Just remember that babies can drink more from a bottle than they would from the breast, since they don't have to work as hard and the flow is easier.  But, he definitely sounds like a good eater.  Lucky you!

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1185 - 01/12/09 12:51 AM

congratulations goddess!

---

MittenKitten
Message #1186 - 01/14/09 04:05 AM



congrats Goddess! 

ARMD Here's wishing you luck with your delivery! 

Stocking up:  Let your shower do most of the work.  I recommend the pack n play that comes with a bassinet, saves you the cost of the bassinet and we found the pack n play handy for DS#1, after your first child it is nice to have but I have found we travel less with the baby.  After the 3rd everyone comes here LOL.  We used the swing lots but it broke for DD so haven't used it for her much.  Many haven't used theirs at all.  Boppy we used for child 1, 2 to a point and hardy at all for 3. 

If you stock up on diapers you need some 1s, 2s and 3s they will be in for a while, my kids were in them for at least 6 months. 

Once pregnant if you are going to formula feed watch for sales.  Walgreens just had their brand on sale for $12.99 for the large container (and I will place money it is Enfamil Lipil), much cheaper then anywhere else I have found it.  Also make sure you sign up at similac's website and enfamil.  Having a container of formula on hand is a must (and what better way then to get a free sample?)  You never know when you will have a very hungry kid you just can't keep up with and coming home from the hospital the LAST thing you want to do is run out for formula. 

Anyways Happy New Year, I hope all had a wonderful holiday season.   

---

mom2abi
Message #1187 - 01/14/09 02:09 PM



Congratulations goddess!

ARMD, I hope everything went well for you.

One idea for maternity clothes is those long-length tops, with or without the empire waist.  I had a couple before getting pregnant, and they still fit just fine with only 2 weeks to go.  They actually fit better than some of the maternity shirts I bought, which are still too big.  Of course I didn't get as big as I thought I would, but I guess a lot of women don't the first time.  And the shirts are fairly inexpensive at a lot of stores.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1188 - 01/15/09 01:17 AM

I'm hoping to nurse and avoid cost of formula but know that I really don't have control over that

You have far more control than you think you do.  The vast majority of breastfeeding problems are fixable, and most of them are easily fixable.  It's good to have a good support system in place though, and perhaps the phone number of a local international board-certified lactation consultant.

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1189 - 01/15/09 01:19 AM

You never know when you will have a very hungry kid you just can't keep up with and coming home from the hospital the LAST thing you want to do is run out for formula.

Which is why I persisted with breastfeeding even when some of the nurses said I was crazy.  I reason I've saved about $700 in the eight months since Elizabeth was born.

---

ARMD
Message #1190 - 01/16/09 02:41 AM

Hi everyone, I'm back. I went into the hospital Sunday night to have my cervix softened. They checked me Monday morning, and I was still only about 2-3 cm dilated, but about 50-75% effaced. I had been 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced when the doctor checked me on Friday. They started my antibiotic IV early Monday morning for group B strep and started me on pitocin at 7:15 AM, Monday morning. I gradually began to feel more and more contractions, and they checked me, and I was at 4 cm. They called the anesthesiologist to get me an epidural, but he was with another patient. My doctor had gone back to the office to see other patients, so we were just waiting around for the anesthesiologist to show up and for the doc to come back and check on me. My contractions kept getting harder and closer together while we waited and by the time the doc came to check on me, I was in excrutiating pain with contractions very close together. The anesthesiologist still had not arrived, so the doc checked me real quick between contractions, and I was already at 8-9 cm. Thankfully, as the doc went to scrub up, the anesthesiologist came in. He ended up doing a spinal as I was having contractions probably about 30 seconds apart, but the relief was immediate. I was then able to get situated to push and quite a few breaths, pushes and an episiotomy later, we gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Sophie Grace, and she was 6 lbs. 6 1/4 oz. and 19.5" long with a head full of dark brown hair. She is quite the sleeper, which is nice. We have trouble getting her to wake up enough to eat, but I'm sure that will eventually change. We are enjoying her very much. Thanks for all your support.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #1191 - 01/16/09 03:59 AM

Congratulations ARMD!

---

goddessofrock
Message #1192 - 01/16/09 03:47 PM

congrats ARMD!!!

---

anne81
Message #1193 - 01/16/09 08:17 PM

congrats ARMD!!!    I also have trouble getting my baby awake enough to eat, especially at first.  The nurses had me unwrap him until he was pretty much only in his diaper - whenever he is warm and feeding he conks out.

I had to use formula to supplement the first week but with lots of extra pumping I'm starting to catch up.  I'm shocked though - we had our two week appt with the pediatrician today and William has gained a pound and a half in two weeks!  Not to mention growing a half of inch in length and head circumference.  I guess that explains the eating all the time!

---

MittenKitten
Message #1194 - 01/16/09 09:47 PM



Congrats ARMD

Holly:  My problem is my first born was hungry before my milk came in.  I HAD to feed him formula until it did (I still nursed).  Actually he was a terrible nurser so I pumped the entire first year and feed him with a bottle.  The only time I could nurse him when he would not b1te down was when he was sleeping (and boy those gums can HURT!)

One tip I would give most moms is that if you plan on going back to work or pumping for any reason, start pumping right away and freezing the extra breastmilk.  For me when I started pumping right away my body adapted and I could pump quite a bit the whole first year.  With #2 I didn't start pumping and when I did a few months after he was born I would get next to nothing by pumping.  (which was fine as he would only nurse)  with #3 I don't have time to pump and don't get much if I do so she is on quite a bit of formula but such as life, I am not going to stress about it. 

If you plan on doing formula I would check into doing the store brands.  Walgreens just had a coupon deal on their stuff where the 25 ounce container was $13.00 vs $13.50 for the 12.5 oz container of Similac.  I will place money that it is Enfamil in disguise.  Also sign up on all the websites for coupons, checks and free samples.  The worst that would happen is you won't need it and you can donate it.

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #1195 - 01/17/09 02:19 AM

My problem is my first born was hungry before my milk came in.  I HAD to feed him formula until it did (I still nursed).

As did mine.  My mature milk didn't come in until day five, when Elizabeth had already lost more than 10% of her weight.  I had to supplement as well, but only gave her the absolute minimum and continued nursing for forty minutes, every two hours.  That's why some of the nurses said I was crazy- persisting with breastfeeding while trying to recover from pre-eclampsia and a c-section.  The day my mature milk came in, I quit supplementing and haven't since.

I totally agree about the pumping early.  I know so many women who waited until 2-3 weeks before returning to work or school to start pumping, only to realize that their bodies had already somewhat regulated their milk supply and it was hard to add in extra sessions.  I started pumping religiously three times daily at one month, and that made all the difference.

---

bogart
Message #1196 - 01/17/09 03:23 AM

It's great that people are posting here about their breastfeeding and pumping experiences; I think there's far too little information out there.  To add to the descriptions, like Holly, during my son's first week I was breastfeeding about one hour out of every 2 -- phenomenally exhausting to say the least.  I was fortunate to have given birth at a hospital renowned for its great lactation consultants, and I got a lot of support.  When we went back 1 week PP still struggling, they advised me to start supplementing with formula using a supplemental nursing system (SNS) -- meaning he was nursing but also having formula squirted into his mouth via a syringe while nursing, since my supply was so bad.  Perhaps thanks to in part to the SNS (i.e. to continue "exclusive" nursing -- at least in terms of DS's actions -- longer than I'd otherwise have been able to), my DS did develop and maintain a reliable latch, etc.; unfortunately, my supply never did get up to par, despite doing that and pumping too.  Once he got to needing over 10cc of formula via the SNS (the amount 1 syringe would hodl) I did start using a bottle for some of his feedings, while continuing to nurse and pump frequently.  Although my supply never did get up to par, it did get noticeably better at around 1 month.  Unfortunately, obviously, everything I pumped went into DS within about 24 hours, so there was no saving what I had pumped for when I resumed working.  All that said, I did keep nursing him until about 13 months, albeit not exclusively, and did pump regularly while working so that he had some of my milk while in daycare.

All of which is a long way of saying we are all different, and if you're reading this thread to learn what to expect, bear in mind that every woman and every baby is different.  Having good support is important, as is persistence if you want to breastfeed (which I would highly recommend if doing so appeals to you).  So is being able to roll with the punches and avoiding comparing yourself to others or to some "ideal" of what you "should" be able to do or what breastfeeding is "supposed" to be.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1197 - 01/20/09 07:36 PM

bump

---

mintchip
Message #1198 - 01/20/09 07:43 PM

Thanks, Beth.  Wow...this is a lot of reading to catch up on!

Hi, everyone!  I just found out this past weekend that I'm pregnant and we're very excited.  Right now I'm just trying to figure out how much I'll really need to save up for when the baby gets here.  I have some debt that I'm trying to pay off, so I'm trying to find a good balance between the two.  Any of you have recommendations on how much to save?

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1199 - 01/20/09 09:31 PM

Congratulations Goddess and ARMD.

I bumped unread before.   

I found MSN's pregnancy board helpful - boards.msn.com/Healthboards/board.aspx?BoardID=86  And for working moms pumping at work, there's a thread called Pumping Support.  And www.kellymom.com has LOTS of info on breastfeeding and making your own babyfood (it's not that hard, really.

---

boos_mom
Message #1200 - 01/20/09 11:38 PM



armd - congratulations!

mintchip - congrats on the pregnancy!  I saw your other thread and agree that saving up the cash is better and then use the excess to pay down your debt if everything goes as planned.

Our HDCP arrangement fell through the first week #2 started.  So, we were without childcare for a little over a week.  We were scrambling to take off to take turns watching until we could find a new HDCP.  We did find a new one.  The only downside for the new HDCP is that she has more medical leave days that she takes (scheduling appts.) as well as 'extra' holidays (her birthday, counting the Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve as holidays rather than using her vacation days for them).  So, with all of her medical and vacation days, she takes off about 5 weeks a year.  And these days differ from when #1's preschool is off.  Sooooo, I'm not sure how we'll swing all of the days the HDCP and preschool are closed.  We may switch #2 to a toddler program at the preschool once he's old enough (another year), just because we don't have alternate daycare arrangements available.  We'll see how it goes though.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1201 - 01/20/09 11:41 PM



mitten - Thanks for the info!  A Walgreen's just opened near #1's preschool.  I will have to check out their house brand formula.  I prefer Enfamil over Similac.  I think the Costco Kirkland formula is supposed to be Similac.  I know their Kirkland diapers are Huggies Supreme diapers. 

Anyone know whether the Sam's Club formula is Enfamil or Similac or another 'brand'?

---

anne81
Message #1202 - 01/20/09 11:49 PM

mintchip - love your name and congrats!

boos_mom - 5 weeks a year that you have to cover somehow?  That's really shocking to me.

---

boos_mom
Message #1203 - 01/21/09 12:02 AM



anne - yep!  And, that's not counting all of the state and federal holidays (and a few more, like Easter Monday?) which come up to another 16 days.  Luckily, I get most of the holidays off, so that's not too bad.  But, wow, all of the vacation and medical leave days hit me when I was putting them on the calendar.  #1's preschool takes off about 4 weeks throughout the year.  It would be easier if there was greater overlap between the HDCP and the preschool, but not quite so.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1204 - 01/21/09 09:17 AM



my little one has not been good about sleeping in the bassinet in between feedings today...it's making me a little crazy.

 

i'm starting to get the hang of breast feeding but pumping has not been successful yet...

---

boos_mom
Message #1205 - 01/21/09 06:59 PM

goddess - sorry to hear LO hasn't been napping too well.  That happened with #2 as well.  Sleep deprivation can really drive you to tears, so be on the watch for any postpartum depression/baby blues, as it seems to be worse when mommy is sleep deprived and exhausted.  Does baby sleep well in the car seat?  If so, consider letting baby sleep in there.  Or, do you have a papasan swing?  #2 has fallen asleep in there (of course, he's bigger now.  He didn't really care for the swing when he was little).  Or, a vibrating bouncer?  Basically, try different things for now.  Sometimes, I just slept in the recliner chair with baby lying on me because I was so tired and baby wouldn't sleep for long otherwise.  It's usually just a phase and baby will settle in a little better hopefully by 4-6 weeks old.  Have you tried putting a used tanktop as a little baby blanket?  Mine slept better when my scent was nearby.  Also, pumping is definitely not the easiest thing to get accustomed to.  Good luck!

---

goddessofrock
Message #1206 - 01/22/09 05:45 PM

yesterday he finally had a MELTDOWN AT 7PM and suddenly fell asleep for like 4 hours. I think he just had an off day yesterday or his tummy didn't like something I ate... He's fine now!

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #1207 - 01/22/09 05:48 PM



By the way, I signed up for emails from Enfamil and they just sent me 12  2 oz ready to eat bottles for free. And a coupon for more.

 

Since I am trying to solely breast feed they are for emergency use (ie. i need to go out and DH needs something for baby ASAP! (He used one yesterday when I went to my OB appointment. I am trying to pump but at 2 weeks I am getting about half an ounce every day. The doc says this will get better too.)

 

Anyways, Free formula is good!

---

anne81
Message #1208 - 01/22/09 08:43 PM

goddess - my baby was having meltdowns a few nights in a row at 1 am on the dot.  My pediatrician told me that babies grow really fast at this stage so their bodies can ache a little bit.  (I believe it - I've never grown a half an inch in two weeks!)  If you want to try increasing your supply to pump extra you might pump for 10 minutes directly after you feed.

Baby and I have thrush so I've mostly been pumping.   I'm hoping when it clears up we can finally get the breastfeeding going well.  His appetite is increasing faster than my supply.  It's kind of been one thing after the other.

---

boos_mom
Message #1209 - 02/03/09 07:57 PM



hey ladies - how is everyone doing?

I have to been struggling with BF-ing/pumping/supply issues since I've been back at work.  I've been using the Mother's Milk tea off and on.  It helps, but usually when I stop, the supply does lower a little again.  So, he does get some formula.  In addtion, #2 has become lazier when BF-ing since he gets more bottles (and I use only the newborn nipples).  On the weekends, when I try to mostly BF, he's not really getting as much as he should b/c he's too lazy to get the hindmilk and my milk supply (and my afternoon nap) suffers.  I guess I could try to pump-only, but it does take me at least 30 minutes to pump, and that could present problems if baby or #1 needs me while I'm pumping.  Plus, in the afternoons, I am exhausted and need a nap, so pumping after baby goes to sleep and then maybe missing out on a nap b/c baby gets up after I pump is not appealing at all.

Well, we'll keep trying to BF, but maybe I'll just stop soon.  I've got another month or so supply in the freezer, so that would extend his Bmilk consumption for a little longer...  At least, he's adjusted well to the new HDCP.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1210 - 02/03/09 08:20 PM

boo, are you getting enough water, protein and carbs like brown rice and oatmeal?  My supply dips when I'm not getting enough of any of those.  

---

boos_mom
Message #1211 - 02/03/09 08:53 PM

Beth - I do try to eat a lot of protein and whole grain carbs whenever possible.  And, at work, I do drink a lot of water.  But, at home, it is harder to eat well and drink enough water since I'm always busy there.  I'll try to keep that in mind.  Thanks!  I'll start another round of tea, once my order arrives in the mail (been over 12 postal days already, so slow)!

---

anne81
Message #1212 - 02/03/09 09:14 PM

boos_mom -  I eat a spoonful of peanut butter before I pump.  It seems to help.  Also I went to a lactation consultant because I've pretty much only been pumping and I wanted to get the baby to try to breastfeed.  What I've been doing is giving him an ounce in a bottle at the beginning of a feeding and then putting him to the breast.  He's much more patient with feeding once his initial hunger is gone.  Then I pump off the hindmilk if I have to and give at the beginning of the next feeding.

I know how you feel about pumping and not getting to nap - I'm exhausted.

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1213 - 02/03/09 09:51 PM

Yeah, its always harder at home to eat well. 

---

boos_mom
Message #1214 - 02/04/09 01:07 AM



beth - Could it be because we only have like 5 minutes to eat before the baby wants/needs something and you're so hungry that it feels like your stomach is ready consume itself  

anne - peanut butter?  Where did you hear that?  Well, I was having PB on a toasted english muffin for breakfast, but then I ran out of muffins.  And of course, I forgot to put it on my list to pick up at Costco yesterday.  Okay, I'll try the PB trick too.  I did the only-pumping thing when #1 weaned herself at 10 months.  But it was only for 2 more months.  Good luck with better BF-ing and being able to get more rest!

---

anne81
Message #1215 - 02/04/09 01:39 AM

boos_mom - I just read that healthy fats and protein increase supply.  I've been having trouble finding the time to eat too so peanut butter seemed like an easy solution.  A big heaping spoonful and I've eaten 200 calories or so.  Too bad I hate peanut butter.  The baby is a month old and I've lost 40 of the 47 pounds I gained.  Sounds great except for the fact that it's totally because I haven't been eating.  Also when DH gets home I have him hold the baby so I can bake items that are ready to go and I can eat with one hand - homemade granola bars, muffins, cookies, etc.

also - have you tried power pumping to increase your supply?  I hate it but it worked for me.  You pump both sides for ten minutes, rest for ten minutes, repeat for an hour once a day for a few days.  It tricks your body into thinking that your baby is having a growth spurt and needs more milk.

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1216 - 02/04/09 06:19 PM

boos_mom, I believe Target also has a knockoff of the Emfamil at half the price.  

---

Holly Smith
Message #1217 - 02/04/09 06:24 PM

Boo, have you tried fenugreek and blessed thistle?  I'm on it now to combat some serious undersupply issues on my left side and though I've only been on it a few days, I'm seeing some improvement.  That's the same stuff that's in your tea, only you take more of it.  I buy it in capsules at Whole Foods, and each bottle is $8.50 for about 16 days, but that's way, way cheaper than formula.

---

What a Catch
Message #1218 - 02/04/09 06:31 PM



OK this is embarrassing, but I'm going to ask because nobody seems to talk about it.  Perhaps I'm naive, but I honestly don't know.  If you choose not to breastfeed, what do you  have to do (I'm not talking about feeding the baby, I'm talking about the fact that you don't just decide not to breast feed and your body miraculously doesn't produce milk).  So what do you do with the milk that's in there, and how long does it take to stop producing it if you don't use it?

 

I'm 24 and feel like I should know this, but really nobody discusses that part of parenthood!

[Virgil Showlion]

Chanty.
Message #1219 - 02/04/09 06:53 PM

What a Catch, you would pump the milk and that way the baby can still have breast milk without the breast feeding. They sell all sorts of pumps at all sorts of prices. Not pumping it would be very painful and embarassing (leakage any time, lots of leakage!) so in any case that's what I would do... I don't really think you can stop using it, and it stops producing depending on the person. In my case, I was only able to BF my son for a month and I dried up completely! But that was probably because of a poor diet... I wasn't eating the right stuff to continue lactating, and I was getting lazy with the pump.

---

digginouttadebt
Message #1220 - 02/04/09 06:53 PM

What a Catch- your will have sore, engorged breasts for a days or so, they will leak, but eventually it will dry up.  It only took a 7-10 days for me.

---

What a Catch
Message #1221 - 02/04/09 07:08 PM



Thank you chanty and digginouttadebt.  I have no desire to breastfeed or pump, and was really curious.

 

P.S. I'm not pregnant, just trying to figure out everything before I even try!  Thanks for not laughing at me...

---

boos_mom
Message #1222 - 02/04/09 07:20 PM



anne - well, I know I've definitely had cravings for salmon, avocado, and beef.  So, I will follow those cravings.  I enjoy PB, so it's not a hardship for me.  Do you like cashews or pistachios or some other kind of fatty nut?  I know you can make your nut butter at the health food store.  Or put it in a little cup and just eat them whole.  You're definitely dedicated to bake stuff after DH comes home.  For the "power pumping", do you do that after you've already pumped and emptied the breasts? 

whatacatch - you could also wrap your breasts with large ace bandage ( the stuff for ankle sprains) or something similar, very very very tight, to minimize the amount of milk that comes in initially.  Once the milk comes in to relieve engorgement, you use ice packs (heat will increase milk production).  Someone told me that putting cabbage leaves in your bra will also help to dry up the supply.  Just remember to take them out before you go out in public.  (And at 24, I wasn't even thinking about kids yet.  So don't feel bad.)

FR99 - thanks.  A Target will be opening soon, so I will check them out as well.

holly - I tried the fenugreek pills.  It didn't seem to really increase my supply very much, even though I did smell like syrup.  Perhaps, together with the blessed thistle and the interaction would yield better results for me. 

---

Chanty.
Message #1223 - 02/04/09 08:26 PM



aw, What a Catch - I hope you reconsider only b/c it's a beautiful bonding moment and there's nothing better for the baby than breast milk. I'm only 23 so if you need to talk about anything from one youth to another, I'm available and confidential. And of course I wouldn't laugh - I was so adamantly against breast feeding, too! I thought, "How weird and yucky to have my son latch on to such a private area..." and "That's for my husband!!" LOL   But then he came into this world and man, do things change. They turn your world upside down in such an amazing way

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1224 - 02/04/09 09:07 PM

Just a word about the cabbage leaves, I think they are supposed to be very, very cold.  I think the idea was the cold more than the cabbage, but cabbage leaves are much easier to stuff in your bra than a big, lumpy ice pack!  And yes, it would be a very good idea to remove them before leaving the house.  I can't imagine how you would explain that one if it fell out in public.

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1225 - 02/04/09 10:14 PM

boos_mom - the power pumping takes the place of a regular session.  I love baking so that's my me-time during the day.  I do it while cooking dinner.

kgb18 - my friend told me you are supposed to freeze the cabbage leaves.  Apparently it's supposed to help with all sorts of breast pain while nursing, not just engorgement.  Haven't tried it myself though.

---

goddessofrock
Message #1226 - 02/05/09 05:28 PM



i've been grabbing a mug full of cereal with milk or a banana right before BFing and eating it while AJ is drinking.

Just make sure the cereal is something that doesn't get soggy fast... like Kashi or Raisin Bran Crunch.

---

Chanty.
Message #1227 - 02/05/09 06:29 PM

Does anyone have any tips for a rowdy toddler? My two year old son is in daycare, but lately when I drop him off - he begins a violent temper tantrum. He spits, shouts, throws things, falls to the floor, and cries for a good hour. He just started this behavior recently, and when my husband asks him why, he says "Mommy left." So I thought maybe something was going on in the daycare, and I dropped him off at my MIL's... Same thing happened again. When I got back home from work, I told him calmly that I was taking him to daycare the next day and that he couldn't cry, and that Mommy would pick him up as soon as she could and that if he behaved he would get a treat. I continued talking to him that night and the next morning, explaining he would be in daycare with his friends and teachers... Well, he didn't care, and this morning I left him kicking, screaming and crying again. It breaks my heart to see him like that, so undisciplined and I feel bad if he reall is crying over me (we've never had this problem before except for when he first started daycare, and even then it was not this bad). I'm afraid that soon the daycare won't want him anymore as he poses a threat to the other children with his aggressiveness... We have tried **** him or putting him on timeout, we have tried ignoring it or talking to him about it... Still, his behavior hasn't changed for the past 2 weeks now. Has anyone else had problems with such an unruly child, and if so, what worked for you?

---

boos_mom
Message #1228 - 02/05/09 07:09 PM

chanty - It's a phase unfortunately.  #1 had been going to the same daycare for about 6 months, and then right around 2 years old, she started crying when we dropped her off.  Luckily, we were there early usually and so the teacher could give her extra hugs and attention and comfort her.  She was usually fine within 15 minutes of our departure.  Your son, however, does not seem to be comforted so easily if it takes him an hour to settle down.  Ask the daycare to work with you in getting through this phase.  Does your son have a special item (e.g. stuffed animal or blankie) that he uses to comfort himself?  Would the daycare allow him to bring it there and hold onto it for an hour after you leave?  Ask them if they have any suggestions for making the drop-off less stressful for him (and you)?  Drop him a little earlier and stay a little longer to ease him into it?  Or maybe a teacher can help engage him in a favorite activity right before you leave and you do a quick, simple farewell kiss and leave?  Although most daycare staff don't recommend it, my sister would leave w/o saying goodbye when I occasionally babysat my nephew.  He didn't notice she was gone for an hour and he didn't cry when he did figure it out.  The "show" (tantrums) was just for mommy's benefit.  Not saying that's the case with your son.  You may also want to consult with your pediatrician for additional suggestions.  I don't envy you.  It always made me feel guilty, even though I knew #1 would be okay (eventually) after I left.   

---

burghmom
Message #1229 - 02/05/09 10:35 PM

Chanty, What's changed in the last two weeks?  Not just with daycare, but anything else that might affect DS's life?

---

digginouttadebt
Message #1230 - 02/05/09 10:54 PM

Chanty- I agree that it's a phase.  DD went through it for a time (don't remember the age, but 2 does seem right).  An hour is a bit long, but I think most children go through a stage like this and the daycares can handle it.  It doesn't make it any easier on you though.  Mommy guilt feels awful.  Good luck!

[Virgil Showlion]

Careful thinking
Message #1231 - 02/05/09 11:21 PM

I would like to know if folks have spent the $ to get expensive or cheap ovulation kits?  I've seen those microscope ones that you can examine your spittle to see when you're ovulating.  The cheapie ones are maybe $25.  Or have folks used the sticks?  Those seem to cost more and have the excess waste factor that I'm not thrilled about...  Any opinions on what's worked for them and has minimal cost?

I did not spend a dime on any of this stuff other than the pregnancy test alone.

 

What I did was go into webmd and created a profile. You need to go to the pregnant section and look for an ovulation or fertility calendar. It is FREE and granted it may be off by a little but you will be able to achieve your goal if you follow the advise there. Eat healthy, keep track of pretty much a list of things and you don't have to spend a dime on the kits at the store. If you read up on the page it tells you every thing you can do to get pregnant.

 

It took us a couple of tries but it worked.

---

anne81
Message #1232 - 02/06/09 04:07 PM

I'm really frustrated right now.  I got an EOB from my insurance company saying the baby wasn't covered at the hospital because I didn't add him to my insurance.  I called my insurance last fall and asked about this.  They said that his stay would be covered (with no separate deductible) without adding him, although I had 30 days to do so if I chose.  Of course I would have added him if he wasn't going to be covered otherwise!  They are looking up recordings of the conversation and are supposed to call me back.  It'll be 4k if they decide that's not what they told me. 

---

sjk279
Message #1233 - 02/06/09 04:17 PM



I use the ovulation kits but that is because I have such an irratic cycle. I didn't respond to clomid to help shorten my cycle so my doctor suggested I monitor using the kits and temping. If you have a pretty predicable cycle, do the dance every other day right after AF and you will be covered.

anne, I am so sorry. I hope you get the insurance issue worked out soon. (on another note, why didn't you add your son to insurance?)

---

digginouttadebt
Message #1234 - 02/06/09 04:25 PM

Anne- good luck.  Insurance can be so frustrating.  Ours wouldn't cover DD until we had a social security number for her so they could add her.  Then they would go back and cover all the bills (with a separate deductible of course!).  It all worked out in the end, but it was frustrating they didn't just pay for it right away.  You get bills from the hospital with the total, have to call and explain that insurance will pay something, someday.  We have had some insurance plan changes since then, I hope this is one of them (#2 is due this summer).

---

sbcaligirl
Message #1235 - 02/06/09 04:38 PM

You can get ovulation kits online for really cheap too if you decide to go that route.  When I first started tracking I used the store ones and it was like $20-30/mo which seemed like a lot to me for 10 tests.  I found some on amazon that actually came with free pregnancy tests that were way more reasonable - like 100 tests for less than $20 plus the 20 free pg tests.  Definitely recommend that if you decide to use them.

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1236 - 02/06/09 05:00 PM



I didn't use an ovulation kit.  I read some tips online about how to naturally tell if you're ovulating.  Apparently in my case it really worked.  DH and I tried one time, on a day my body seemed to be telling me was a good day to try, we just found out last week we are expecting!  We were a little shocked.  We just got married six months ago and bought a house four months ago.  We are a little older and were worried that it would take a long time to conceive, so we decided to try.  Surprise!

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1237 - 02/06/09 07:17 PM



anne - wow, the insurance CSR told you that?!  What about your pediatrician's office?  They usually remind you to add on the baby to your insurance within 30 days of birth so that your well baby visits are covered.  Sorry you have to go through all this, especially when you're already exhausted from caring for baby.  It took a while for the insurance to add on #2 because DH's HR staff are so lazy!  He called several times and it still took them 3 weeks to send the notice to the insurance company. 

Both of our employers do not require the SSN before adding #2 onto the plan. 

kgb - Congratulations! 

---

Former_Roomate_99
Message #1238 - 02/06/09 08:10 PM

There is a book 'Take control of your fertility' that tells you how to tell naturally when you're ovulating, and I'm sure you could find the same information on the internet. 

---

anne81
Message #1239 - 02/06/09 08:53 PM

congrast kgb18!

boos_mom - I feel dumb because I used to work with insurance.  I should know better than to trust a rep.

---

Holly Smith
Message #1240 - 02/07/09 02:14 AM

I wouldn't use cabbage leaves if you're nursing, unless you're trying to combat super, super high volume supply.  Cabbage leaves are known to decrease your supply.

---

kristi28
Message #1241 - 02/07/09 11:07 PM



kgb - congrats!  I have a history of medical issues with my equipment, and DH is older, so we expected to try quite a long time.  We also conceived in the first month, and were completely in shock about it for a couple of months.  I'm so happy that you didn't have any difficulty.

anne - I don't think that I ever said congrats on a successful delivery and healthy baby!  I'm so sorry that you are having insurance troubles.  I hope that they can get it straightened out, even if you have to go back and pay to have your little one on your insurance.  We are also having trouble, as everyone billed DD under my info, even though we decided to cover her under DH.  And this is after we specifically told them about her info and gave them her insurance card.  Insurance is always frustrating.

My DD is finally about over her colic, and has just begun sleeping through the night!  We are starting to feel more human, and I have actually been able to get out of the house a bit - such a relief.

Any suggestions about how to handle acquaintances or coworkers criticizing your parenting?  I woman I work with found out that I did not breast feed, and felt the need to give me a lecture about the benefits of BFing.  If she were a stranger, I would have gone ahead and been rude; family already know enough about my medical history to understand why the decision was best for me, and probably DD too.  But this particular idiot happens to also be my boss, so telling her off didn't seem the best decision.  I also refrained from telling her that most of her "facts" about BFing were just plain false.  Grrr. 

Anyhow, rant over.  Congratulations to all of the other new moms who I forgot to congratulate in my sleep deprived haze.  Is anyone doing anything special for Valentines?

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1242 - 02/09/09 02:31 PM



Thanks for the congratulations everyone!  Kristi, I'm interested in hearing from some parents with experience how to handle criticisms as well.  We just told immediate family that we're expecting, and already we met with some mild criticism from my dear FIL.  We were talking about converting a bedroom into the nursery.  He took issue with the fact that our master bedroom is upstairs and the baby's room would be downstairs, right at the foot of our steps.  Our house is a cape cod. The top floor consists of nothing but our bedroom and a small bathroom.  There is not room for another bedroom upstairs.  Of course the baby will sleep upstairs with us for awhile, but we can't have him/her up there forever.

 

Fortunately my MIL stepped in and told her husband nicely to mind his own business.  In addition to deflecting criticism, any thoughts from moms about the bedroom situation?  Will we be horrible parents put the baby downstairs?

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1243 - 02/09/09 05:37 PM

kristi - colic is awful.  The baby cried on and off for 8 hours two weeks ago.  Our pediatrican suggested lactobacillus reuteri and it's been a miracle.  Apparently it's one of the few remedies for colic with a study to back it up.

I wish I had some suggestions to deal with criticisms - I will say most people have fairly strong ideas about the correct way to parent and are happy to share them. kgb18 - I live in a split level so three distinct floors.  Our bedroom is on the very bottom and the baby's room is on the top.  He doesn't spend much time in there and sleeps with us at night.  All the stairs have been great exercise in the day though!  I'd just get a good monitor.

---

New-Mummy
Message #1244 - 02/09/09 06:05 PM



Ok, my 2 cents plus bonus coupon here....

 

Kgb18, in England our rooms were upstairs and my parents slept downstairs, I'm pretty sure. We were older, my sister was I think about 18 months when we moved there?  Never seemed to be a problem, unless there are big medical problems with the child (in which case you'd be sleeping in same room anyway most likely) I would guess.  I think sleeping in room at first also helps establish that diurnal pattern as well as being more convenient for you.

 

We heard big time about putting our son in his own room right next to ours at what was it, I guess 5-6 months - from everyone but my parents, I think.  But he was too big for the bassinet and had been sleeping through so it felt right. Had a slight relapse to about one night waking when teeth started coming in, but didn't move him out of his room and it settled fine.  I know a mom here who is just now moving her son into his own bedroom at same age as my son (2 1/2 plus) because he had real problems getting that night/day thing down and sleeping through the night due to other things.  So, things have to be a balance on the kid's timescale and yours anyway, so the only thing I could see is that you want to make sure you light your stairs somehow so if you are rushing down there half-asleep to get to baby you don't fall and hurt yourself.  And once the child hits walking you might want to get some of those "burglar flaps" for front & back doors, the ones that mount on the upper part of the door, not to keep burglars out (I doubt they would anyway) but to keep a wandering kid in, just in case, as well as possibly gating or otherwise blocking kitchen & bathroom downstairs.  Otherwise YOU'll get nervous and get up at night and still lose needed sleep. 

 

Also, I hope your conversion is just painting & such - I remember falling asleep exhausted 8 months pregnant to the sound of an air compressor when I sat down for a minute after doing miter saw duty - so if the conversion means lots of crazy renovation think about getting it going ASAP before you hit the part where it's hard to move around.  Advice to not renovate at all would sound pretty hollow since I don't follow that gem myself, life would be so nice if the house was already perfectly set up for you but it's not like that. 

 

I second the good monitor for naps & all, my only addition to that is make sure it's the kind with a battery powered receiver that you can actually carry around, mine was a great big clunky one you had to plug in and it was a pain so I pretty well abandoned it at home and only used it for trips to grandmother.

 

Personal opinion, a lot of the "safety measures" you take depend so much on what the situation is that I hate to see the generic advice books being taken as gospel.  There's always going to be something weird you have to figure out how to handle so just pay attention to what's going on with that kid and you'll do the best you can do.  Trust your gut, even if it's going against something your parents did - my mother has told me now that I'm an adult that basically her whole parenting plan was to do the exact opposite of what her mother did - because that's your kid. 

---

KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #1245 - 02/09/09 07:43 PM

Thanks New-Mummy!  I appreciate the advice.  As far as the "renovations," we are going to rip up the carpeting and put in hardwood floors.  Fortunately, my dad and DH's uncle are both in the construction business, so they are going to do that for us.  Other than that, just a coat of paint on the walls.  We just bought the house a few months ago and haven't really had a chance to do much work.  One other pre-baby project that we need to do is rip up the steps to our bedroom.  The treads are really narrow, and DH is afraid for me to carry a baby up and down.  Again, I'm going to trust the men in our family to get things done.  We are going to start work very soon.

---

boos_mom
Message #1246 - 02/10/09 11:40 PM



kristi - you may just want to thank your boss for her concern but unfortunately due to your medical problems you are unable to BF although you wish you could.  If she wants to know exactly what those medical problems are, just start crying or say something like "the doctors are still trying to figure it out".  Hopefully, she'll feel bad about criticizing you and stop doing it.  If not, just tune her out.  I'm sorry you have to endure those kinds of criticisms.  Taking care of a baby is hard enough without having to justify to other people.

kgb - Maybe you can just smile and nod your head and say "thank you for that information/your input" and leave it at that -- that is, if you want to be nice about it.  Both of my kids have been in the crib in a separate bedroom from day 1.  I don't like sleeping with babies because I'd be too worried about them and would not get rest if they were in the same room.  I have a portable video monitor, and I can see and hear the baby fine since I'm a light sleeper.  I still get up and check on them anyway during the night.  For your house, you'll definitely want handrails, night lights and wide steps so you don't fall when you check on baby in the middle of the night.   

---

MittenKitten
Message #1247 - 02/17/09 05:25 PM



Anne:  Who is covering the baby for insurance?  Did you put the baby on any insurance plan within the 30 days?  Whichever plan the baby was put on should cover the babies costs.

Legally Insurance CANNOT make you give out SSN for anyone.  They will try but legally you do not have to give it to them.  They will try the "it's for tracking purposes" BS but don't believe them.  I have not given them the SSN for any of my kids.

As for not wanted to BF the doctor can also give you some medication to help with the engorgement.  I have a number of friends who choose to never try.  It is a personal choice and their babies are just fine. 

DD took her first steps on Valentine's Day.  I think she wanted to be able to say she walked at 9 months just like DSS and DS#1. 

For those who use Huggies diapers and wipes there is a website that gives rebates for using them.  They also have rebates for some nutriential supplements and things like poise.  [www.thecaregiversmarketplace.com] www.thecaregiversmarketp?lace.com  The Grocery Thread has talked about them.  I just sent in my first rebate so we will see how it goes. 

 

---

23456
Message #1248 - 02/17/09 07:16 PM



Hello, I am new to this thread - my baby (a girl, first baby) is due in 3 weeks.  Sometimes I am so excited and can't wait, but then I get scared about labor and delivery.  I just keep reminding myself that women go through this all the time so it can't be that bad... can it?

 

Anyway, I started a price book for diapers and wipes - I priced out pampers and huggies cause most people I've talked to told me to stick to name brand since they contain the "explosive poops" the best - I told my friend and she told me I should have priced out pampers swaddlers and huggies supremes... my question is - are they really that much better?  The "baby dry" and "snug and dry" are still NAME BRAND.  Also, do the wipes really differ that much between brands?  I'm I totally off base in thinking that generic brands will work just as well?

 

I also am wondering - I've read that buying stuff on clearance in next years size is a great money saving tip, but how do you know how big your baby is going to grow in that year - what if all those clearance clothes you buy don't even fit them?  I've been wary about buying baby clothes and I don't know how much to buy in each size since I don't know how big she will be or how fast she will grow.  The only size I've really stocked up on is 0 - 3 months and I'm flabbergasted - some of the clothes look tiny and others look huge, yet they are still all the same "size". 

 

I've been keeping up with this thread and I think it's great

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #1249 - 02/17/09 07:47 PM



23456 - sorry to have to tell you this, but most babies do not stay in the 0-3 size for very long.  I recommend stocking up on 3-6 mos and older.  If you have a small baby, you can get someone to pick up more 0-3 if needed, but most babies are in that size for maybe a month, especially some that are more like Newborn (or Premie) size vs. 0-3.  For stocking up in general, if you're worried about out-growing, just buy basics, like T's, polos, shorts, pants etc.  Don't buy too much of the really seasonal stuff.  But, I usually go 1 year - 18 mos ahead, depending on the brand.  Certain brands do run larger than others.  You'll just learn as you go.  Plus, once babies turn 1 year old, they kind of slow down the growth.  I really like Huggies Supreme vs. regular Huggies for under 1 year old, they absorb better and don't get too much gel residue on baby's butt.  (fyi: Costco Kirkland diapers are Huggies Supreme.)  Pampers Cruisers worked well once #1 was a toddler, but they leaked when #1 was a baby.  I had a free sample of Luvs recently, and it seemed just as good as Pampers.  But, I do not like having the explosions, so I've stuck with Huggies or Pampers.  Congrats and best wishes on a quick, safe delivery!

anne - I saw your other thread on the YM board.  Sorry to hear that baby is still colicky!  Hope things get better soon!

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #1250 - 02/17/09 08:11 PM

I didn't want to guess wrong on sizes on the clearance racks for DD, so I didn't get much for next year.  DH and I are finally (at 9 months) starting to feel comfortable 'guessing' on what sizes to buy.  DD's in 12 months now and I bought a cute dress for next Christmas on the clearance rack, size 24 months ($7.20), but the 18 month sleepers with feet are probably not going to fit her next fall.  But it's hard, at first, but it's getting easier for us the more we discuss it and actually do it. 

As for the difference between wipes, I think that may end up depending on your baby.  DD does not seem to be sensitive to anything, so we switch between wipes based on what's cheaper when we're stocking up.  My Mom (our dcp) only uses a wipe when DD has a messy diaper.  Otherwise, she uses a wet washcloth or just lets DD air dry before putting a new diaper on her.  Somebody had a formula for creating their own wipes using paper towel, but I don't know where you'd find it. 

We switch back and forth between Pampers and Huggies/Huggies Supreme.  I really prefer the Huggies Supreme, but they all work.  I've found for us, that poop (or pee) explosions happen when DD is outgrowing the current diaper size.  If we're close to the end of a box, we'll finish them off and just try to change her more frequently (and warn Mom about.) 

---

Jess H
Message #1251 - 02/18/09 03:40 AM



I also hesitate to buy clothes ahead.  Our daughter is 10 months old, and is right in the middle for height and weight, but wears 12 month and 18 month clothes now.  It's hard, especially for really seasonal stuff- for basic shirts and pants you could probably guess close enough.  If in doubt, buy bigger.  Also, you'll figure out really fast the brands that run small (Gerber especially).  We've found great deals at Wal-Mart (Geranimals are great, really comfy and cute). 

 

As far as diapers, we loved the Pampers swaddlers for when she was younger because they were so soft!  I never found any Huggies that we liked.  For generics, the only ones we found that worked (for us anyway- every baby seems different) were the Walgreens brand.  And once she got into size 2 (I don't know if the swaddlers come that big, we just decided that she was big enough she didn't need the super soft, spendy diapers anymore!), we found Luvs really cheap at Lewis and haven't bought anything since.  They have been great with leaks and fit her great now that she is all over the place.  And with the explosive poops, I don't know that any diaper is better than another.  The best money-saver is probably a big bottle of Shout spray- I think we only lost one onsie during the blowout stage.  Just rinse with water right away, spray with Shout, and wash with your next load of laundry!  And be thankful when they start solids- not nearly as messy diapers!

 

I've made homemade wipes (put 2 tbsp baby oil, 2 tbsp baby wash, and 1 1/2 cup water in a tupperware container, cut a roll of paper towels in 1/2, put in the container to soak the stuff up) and they worked great before she started solids- never got a diaper rash because they are really mild (and obviously cheap!) but now that she has been eating solids they don't do a good job cleaning her after a dirty diaper so we've been buying the Huggies Natural Touch.  I'm tempted to play around with my "recipe" to try to make them a little better- maybe more baby wash and less oil?  If I try it I'll report back!

---

Holly Smith
Message #1252 - 02/18/09 04:19 AM

The "baby dry" and "snug and dry" are still NAME BRAND.

Can't say about Huggies, but if you use Pampers, you don't want the Baby Dry.  The Swaddlers have a lip at the back that folds over and the Baby Dry diapers do not.  Therein lies a world of difference in poop contained or poop everywhere.  Trust me on this one.  My favorite outfit of hers (even now, seven months later) was very nearly ruined.

I've been wary about buying baby clothes and I don't know how much to buy in each size since I don't know how big she will be or how fast she will grow.

That's a risk you take with buying stuff ahead of time.  I would say for the average-size baby, they'd grow out of a size 1-2 months early.  So, they'd be in 3-6-month clothing at 1-2 months, and so on.  Now, I didn't end up with an average-size baby, so my clothing purchases made early were a little off.  I live in San Diego, so I could get away with it more than someone who lives in a place with more radical climate change.  Of course, if you must shop early, onesies and socks are good in any season.  So are soft, loose pants- as long as you don't live in a desert that's horribly hot in the summer.

---

MittenKitten
Message #1253 - 02/19/09 07:42 PM



Opps posted on the wrong thread

 

---

MittenKitten
Message #1254 - 02/19/09 07:48 PM



Clothes sizes:  My kids actually run true to the sizing.  See babies run large, average or small in your family.  If they run big figure they will be in a bigger size.  Honestly if the outfits were a little big it was never a big deal for me.  Only a big deal if they are too small.  I have bought clothes years ahead for my kids (including the baby stage) with no problem but my kids ARE the 50%.  Actually DS#1 who is 5 1/2 is just now growing out of his size 4 clothes.  The 5s were too long and he will probably be in 4s and 5s for shorts this summer as length doesn't matter with shorts.  (I don't think I was ever as skinny as this kid is!)

YIPPEE DF and I are getting away for our 10 year anniversary without kids this weekend.  2 nights away from the kids.  The last time we were able to do this was when DS#1 was 1, 4.5 years ago now!

[Virgil Showlion]

New-Mummy
Message #1255 - 02/19/09 10:01 PM

We used cloth diapers at home, disposables when traveling, then when everything went insane here we moved to disposables sort of without really meaning to due to other issues, and now we're potty training so it didn't seem worth it to try and order next size cloth diapers when we're using them only at night - anyway, what I found was that some of the diapers really broke out his bum, something in their absorbent material perhaps, I'm not sure.  That can really vary depending on your baby's skin - we used the Pampers Swaddlers without incident but when he moved out of those the next Pampers we tried broke him out like mad. I had no luck keeping the White Cloud tabs staying closed.  Luvs broke him out when we tried them in any size, Huggies were fine in size 3 but again some kind of change when we went to size 4 and they began to break him out. 

I second the clothes spray, and get one of those Tide pens to keep in your purse. 

Wipes using paper towel, I had no luck unless I used the expensive paper towels so it didn't save money, what I did was keep a wipes warmer with some water, baby wash, and couple of drops of tea tree oil (it's even at most Wal-Marts now although you'll have to hunt for it) in it, and a stack of baby washcloths beside it. (I put the coloured cloths with the bath and the white ones with the diapers to keep them separate in case they wandered over the house.)  But again, we were using cloth diapers, so not much extra trouble, just washed them with the diapers.  Wipes again we had some breakouts with some and not with others, the sensitive ones no breakouts but they are awfully thin, ended up having the best luck with Kroger's store brand so that's what we get now.

As far as clothes, you might be better off just setting aside budget and buying as needed till you see how those growth patterns might go, my son ends up right on the growth chart median lines so I can pretty fearlessly buy ahead for him right now, but I have been warned that when he hits 12 or so I will be looking at crazy growth spurts followed by no apparent growth for a while; that's the way both sides male growth patterns tend to be so I should expect it.  Find a freecycle or a mom's swap group if you can, also I've found lots of very cute things at Goodwill and thrift stores, very small children don't wear anything long although you're constantly washing, and I've also found things with tags on before, never worn.

---

ARMD
Message #1256 - 02/20/09 01:47 AM

My baby is now 5 weeks old. She was 6 lbs. 6 1/4 oz. and 19.5 inches long when she was born. She is now 21.5 inches long and over 8 lbs. and is still in newborn diapers and preemie to newborn size clothes. Most of the 0-3 month are still too big for her, but there are a couple 0-3 outfits that she has outgrown or soon will as they seem to be sized a bit smaller than some. One of her 0-3 outfits, I think should have been labeled as preemie as she was fortunate to wear it once or twice. I was just glad that I had stocked up on baby clothes (cheap at yard sales) before she was born as it would have been expensive if I had needed to go buy a bunch brand new after she was born. I figure if I can get the clothes cheap (on sale or at yard sales), then it is still cheaper than having to buy them all at full price as she grows into them even if she doesn't end up wearing all of them. You can always sell or give away what you don't use or hang onto them if you plan on having more kids. I would say that if you are going to go crazy stocking up on clothes when they are on sale or at yard sales, then I would suggest purchasing things like onesies, shirts, pants, sleepers, etc. that will fit in about any season. You can also figure approximately how long a season will last and if the child could possibly be in that size sometime during that season. I would also suggest stocking up more on things that are unisex (like white onesies) so you can reuse them in the future.

As far as diapers go, I am currently using Pampers Swaddlers and Huggies. I have found that the Huggies tend to run a bit bigger than the Pampers Swaddlers in the newborn size. The Pampers are definitely softer, but they both seem to hold about the same amount. I was disappointed though when I purchased a package of Huggies preemie diapers that didn't seem to hold very much. The whole diaper seemed very thin to me. Luvs newborn diapers seemed to work just as well but were bulkier than the Pampers or Huggies. As far as wipes go, I have been using Pampers Sensitive. I just bought a box of Huggies Soft Skin, but haven't tried them yet. The major difference in wipes is probably how soft and thick they are. Once baby gets bigger, we will probably switch to an off brand. I have a home daycare and have noticed that the Parent's Choice brand and the Dollar General off brand aren't quite as soft as the name brands but do a good job otherwise. I personally don't like the Parent's Choice brand because the wipes aren't connected to each other and therefore don't really work in the reusable containers (even though they are sold as REFILLS) as they don't continue to pop up and you end up having to lift the lid to get a wipe, which is a pain.

I also have a question for you all. My DD's bottom seems to constantly be red. It doesn't exactly seem like a rash, so I'm at a loss. I have tried switching between brands of diapers and seem to still have the same results. I can't figure out if this is just normal at this age (5 weeks) or if it is something more. I keep forgetting to ask her doctor. Any ideas?

---

23456
Message #1257 - 02/20/09 02:18 AM



Thank you all for your tips! 

I really think the price of baby clothes is outrageous so I've been scouring the clearance racks and trying to find good baby consignment shops (some are really nice and some are horrible).  I also will be hitting garage sales this summer to stock up on baby clothes - at least at garage sale prices I won't feel so bad if she outgrows them before she can wear them. 

 

Since I've already got quite a few Baby Dry and Snug and Dry diapers in size one - I guess they will have to do until they are gone.  Hopefully, I won't be cleaning up too many messes.  I am going to price out Swaddlers and Huggies Premium this weekend to find where I can get the best price for those.  Thanks for the tip that the Kirkland brand is Huggies Premium!

 

Another question - does Dreft work better or does All Free and Clear work just as well?  The price difference is pretty large...

 

I have 3 weeks left and I am so ready to have this baby already! 

---

bogart
Message #1258 - 02/20/09 02:41 AM

I really think the price of baby clothes is outrageous

Me too, but in my experience you really don't need much.  I dressed mine in one-piece onesies, either short sleeved/legged or long- and zip up with rubber footies (basically jammies) once he got a bit older and when it was cold for his entire first year +, and found that with about 10 of the little (short-sleeved ones) and a half-dozen of the long-sleeved ones, we had all we needed.  

And we never had clothing emergencies.  If I needed something, I had time to go get it.  And we got gifts, so we really had more than we needed.  In short, don't go overboard, though if you want to enjoy dressing your LO up, that's fine.  I was (and am) just focused on warm, dry, and comfortable...

---

New-Mummy
Message #1259 - 02/20/09 02:45 AM

I have had no problems with All Free & Clear even on the diapers but we didn't switch to it till my son was about 6 months old, till then we used Dreft. 

---

kristi28
Message #1260 - 02/20/09 03:51 AM



I have used the All Free and Clear without issue from the beginning.  Baby girl has been fine, although she doesn't seem to have particularly sensitive skin.

 

Anne: I heard that baby boy was still suffering from colic.  Hang in there; nothing much seemed to work for baby girl, but she has continued to get better as she gets older.  They say the worst is at 6-8 weeks, and it is usually about gone by 12 weeks.  Not a big help now, but I am thinking of you. 

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #1261 - 02/20/09 05:18 AM

Thanks for the nice thoughts boos_mom and kristi28.  It's tough to not be able to do anything for my sweet boy when he's going through one of his fits.  He started medication for reflux so we're hoping things improve now that he's at the 7 week mark.

23456 -  I wouldn't stock up on diapers.  I've got some boxes that I have to give away because they just didn't fit or he grew out of them too quick.  Same for the clothing.  My baby is 7 weeks old and in 3-6 month clothing or even larger.    He skyrocketed from 8 lbs when I brought him home to 14 lbs last week.   He's been living in zip up footed sleepers.  I find the ones with the buttons too irritating when I change him at night.  One of the things I've found invaluable is the waterproof pads that go on top of the sheets and the changing pads.  They've saved me from having to change the sheets and changing pad covers all the time.

---

New-Mummy
Message #1262 - 02/20/09 12:31 PM

Anne - Save those waterproof pads, they will save your couch come toilet training time. They've already saved mine several times.  Hope the reflux stuff helps, you'd think colic would be "solved" by now but guess not.

---

MittenKitten
Message #1263 - 02/22/09 09:50 PM



I never used Dreft as it does contain perfumes.  I used Arm and Hammer Free and All Free and Clear both worked well for us. 

I found the baby clothes on clearance to be pretty cheap, my mom also buys a ton of clothes on clearance so that helps us a great deal.  After 3-4 kids we have gotten our money out of most of them.  I was lucky in my kids were pretty close to the same size in each season (Small April baby, June and May babies)

---

boos_mom
Message #1264 - 02/23/09 02:23 AM

mitten - how is DS#2 doing with his treatment/therapy? 

---

ARMD
Message #1265 - 02/23/09 04:57 PM

Do any of you have a video baby monitor? I am looking into purchasing one as we have a two story house, and I'd like to be able to keep an eye on the LO without having to disturb her. I have an audio monitor but would like to have one where I can see if she is just fussing or if she's really awake. I have been looking at reviews, but they are all so contradictory to each other that it's hard to know what monitor to go with. I received money from my baby shower to get one, so I'd like to get a good one that actually works. Any suggestions would be great.

---

boos_mom
Message #1266 - 02/23/09 05:41 PM

armd - We have the Q-See video monitor, purchased from Costco.com.  I know folks have complained about static for that monitor, but I usually just use the video portion (which is super clear) and keep the audio down, since baby's room is near ours.  There is some static, but not a lot.  There is white noise buzzing as well, and harder to sleep at night with that so that's why I turn it down.  It is a portable one using batteries, LCD video screen albeit a bit small (so harder to see at night when I'm groggy), and it also has some alarms on your monitor (not baby's) which can be set for audio or motion if you need that type of thing (I don't).  But, I know that the video monitor will continue to come in handy, even as #2 gets to be older.  We used a bigger non-portable video monitor for #1, but DH broke it by knocking from the nightstand.  But I really have saved myself many times with the monitor of having to actually get up and go to baby's room to find baby is just fussing in their sleep.  I consider a video monitor as one of my "must-haves" as a parent.