Related to KIDS: Planning, Pregnancy, Parenting...

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #547 - 05/01/08 01:18 AM

A third investigation found that there were higher levels of cow's milk protein in the mothers' milk of colicky infants than in the milk of mothers whose babies were not colicky.

These studies strongly suggest that if your breast fed baby is colicky, it is worth a try to eliminate cow's milk from your diet. You will want to avoid cheese, ice cream, milk in a glass or on cereal, yogurt, puddings, custards, cream sauces, and butter. This is not a quick fix, however. Cow's milk protein can remain in breast milk for up to two weeks after the mother has stopped eating dairy foods. To see whether dropping dairy really makes a difference for your child, have your dietary experiment last about 3 weeks. If the change in your eating habits does improve your baby's colic, you will probably want to remain off dairy at least until the typical colicky period is over, when your baby is 12 to 16 weeks old. If your child's colic was severe and it turns out that he or she is especially sensitive to cow's milk protein, you may want to avoid dairy even longer. Although many babies become tolerant of cow's milk protein before their first birthdays, some children can take a full year or longer, and some never become tolerant.

During this period, as a mom you need to remember your own physical needs. First of all, you will need another source of calcium. You will need to take in at least 1200 mg daily. If you do not, the calcium you lack in your diet will be taken from your bones! Calcium is found in Tums, sesame seeds, bok choi (Chinese cabbage), canned non-boneless salmon and sardines, and dark green vegetables such as collard greens, spinach, turnip greens, and kale. Some brands of orange juice are fortified with calcium. Tofu is also a good source of calcium, but unfortunately as many as 20% of babies who are sensitive to the protein in cow's milk are also sensitive to soy.

You may also need to be careful about your own body's developing an intolerance to lactose. While avoiding cow's milk protein, you will also have stopped consuming milk sugar. Your body may respond to the lack of milk sugar by stopping its production of the enzyme lactase. You would then start having digestive difficulties once you reintroduced milk to your diet. Ways to help prevent this problem are 1) try eating goat's or sheep's milk (for example, in French cheeses such as chevre). The proteins in these kinds of milk are less likely to cause your baby problems than the proteins in cow's milk; 2) consume small amounts of cow's milk used in recipes. Thorough cooking of cow's milk alters the form of the protein, making it less likely to upset your baby's digestion; and 3) when you do reintroduce dairy to your diet, do so gradually.

All of this may sound like a lot of work, but for parents with a colicky baby, the changes can be well worth the effort. There are other benefits to mom's avoiding cow's milk, too. According to the September 1993 Journal of Investigative Allergy and Clinical Immunology, studies have shown that the frequency and severity of asthma, eczema, and allergies are significantly reduced for as long as 5 years when breast feeding mothers give up cow's milk for at least 3 months.

In answer to your question, then, your switching to lactose-free milk or taking Lactaid pills would not help your colicky baby, because those products still contain the protein in cow's milk. Temporarily giving up the dairy products you love so much might make a real difference, however. You might find that what you lose in your diet will be made up to you in the smiles on your baby's face. Alan Greene MD FAAP January 24, 1997

from WebMD:

Babies who are only fed breast milk do not develop lactose intolerance because breast milk contains [www.webmd.com/hw-popup/lactase] lactase, the enzyme that helps digest milk sugar. If your baby is [www.webmd.com/hw-popup/milk-sugar-intolerance-in-babies] formula-fed and develops lactose intolerance, you can switch to a formula made without lactose. In rare cases, a baby may have a reaction to the proteins in milk, which is a different condition called [www.webmd.com/hw-popup/cows-milk-sensitivity-in-babies] sensitivity to milk protein.

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MittenKitten
Message #548 - 05/02/08 04:18 AM



boos mom:  Wow that was interesting.  Thanks for the info. 

reflector:  How much does she weigh now?  Have you thought about just taking day and only doing breastmilk and see how she does?  When was your due date?  DD is only 2 weeks now and only weighed 5lbs 12 oz, we are mostly doing breastmilk with DF feeding her formula about once a day of 2 oz.  I tend to take some of the doctors advice with a large dose of salt.  When I took DD to her 10 day appt the doctor wanted me to quit bottles entirely even though she is doing fine at both.  NO THANKS I had one who I just stopped nursing 6 months ago who would only nurse so I could never be far away from him for 15 months of his life. 

AH:  Have you thought about making sure you dedicate 2 nights a month (or whatever works for you.) and let DH know that these are your nights and that won't change?  Are some of his fears due to things changing once you adopted your sister's children?  How long have you had them?  How old are they again?

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Holly Smith
Message #549 - 05/02/08 07:22 PM

Well, I got my induction date- Monday night.  OB hopes I'll go before then, though.  Man, I hate internals.  

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mrslynch
Message #550 - 05/02/08 07:46 PM



holly--i was scheduled to be induced and my water broke the day before, so you never know. i think she knew we were shopping for her and she couldn't wait to see all of her new stuff! good luck!

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #551 - 05/02/08 08:01 PM

REflector - can you just make an appointment with a doctor who does allergies and see what happens?  I don't know what it would cost to do it on your own, but it might be worth it.

I'm hoping to be early.  Today's u/s said DD is 7 lbs, 10 oz and she's not due for another 2 weeks.  

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anne81
Message #552 - 05/03/08 04:09 PM



So I posted way back in September that DH and I were trying.  We got interrupted by a move but I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant!  It's not quite real yet (just four weeks).  I'm waffling on whether or not to tell my two moms on mother's day or to wait a couple of months (if I can hide it that long).  What do you guys think?

 

For those with babies with dairy/breastmilk allergies try giving your babies probiotics if you can (you're supposed to ask your doctor first).  Supposedly it helps keep them from getting other food allergies later.  DH and my brother were both allergic to both dairy and breastmilk and both now have food allergies and have to eat probiotics every day to help them digest food.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #553 - 05/03/08 06:34 PM

anne - Congratulations!  It's really funny how most of us WIR posters actually post the news here before telling other folks.  If it were me, I know we would tell our mothers, especially as a great Mother's Day surprise.  But, we'd also tell them that we aren't telling everyone yet, so they should not be telling others.  It should be your decision as to who you will tell at this point since it's still early.  And then later on, when you're comfortable, you can let them know when it is okay for them to brag to random friends and neighbors about your little one. 

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anne81
Message #554 - 05/03/08 08:51 PM

boos_mom - thanks for the congrats!  It's the first grandkid for three sets of parents so I'm not sure how long they'll hold it in but that's definitely a good way to phrase it.  I'm just hoping something doesn't go wrong after I tell them - it's definitely a tough one.

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boos_mom
Message #555 - 05/04/08 01:52 AM

anne - actually, our mothers were pretty good about not blabbing, especially when we found out about #2.  MIL even decided on her own that she wouldn't tell FIL because he would forget that it's supposed to be a "secret" (like he did w/ #1) and didn't tell him for quite a few weeks!  We didn't tell anyone til we got the OB confirmation, and then it was just sibs and parents (and my BFFs and grandparents).  But, yeah, it's hard b/c we were worried about miscarrying, as well as those maternal serum screening tests for Down's or various spinal issues.  We didn't feel okay to go public with #2 until like 18 weeks along (and #1 was definitely after 12 weeks). 

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MittenKitten
Message #556 - 05/04/08 03:44 AM



anne: Congrats!  I would say go with your gut.  I personally am terrible at keeping secrets, although we did hold out telling with DS#1 and DD.  Since my family has no problems carrying to term I wasn't really worried about loosing the babies.  DS#1 we told everyone at 12 weeks although my sis figured it out before since she was pregnant and I was asking tons of questions.  DD was a surprise and we needed to adjust before we told anyone. 

Holly:  Here's hoping you are not currently reading this and are or have given birth instead.

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GusitaRenker
Message #557 - 05/06/08 04:22 AM

When did all of you ladies start showing in your pregnancy/when could you not fit into your normal clothes?

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bibliomaniagrl
Message #558 - 05/06/08 05:54 PM



I think I was pretty early.  I think I stopped wearing most of my "normal" pants after 12 weeks.  Some that were bigger to begin with were all right still, but I had others that were more fitted or slightly higher waisted that became uncomfortable (I was pretty bloated from the beginning).  I could wear normal tops for a number of weeks beyond that depending on how long they were.  I still have some normal tops (thankfully empire waist is in) that I bought bigger than normal (Kohls) that I'm wearing now at almost 26 weeks.  They were cheaper than Kohls maternity and were plenty long/roomy enough without looking like I bought my clothes too big.

[Virgil Showlion]

Amazon Hunter
Message #559 - 05/06/08 06:07 PM

AH:  Have you thought about making sure you dedicate 2 nights a month (or whatever works for you.) and let DH know that these are your nights and that won't change?  Are some of his fears due to things changing once you adopted your sister's children?  How long have you had them?  How old are they again?

MK:  That sounds like a good idea about dedicating certain nights.  I know that I NEED to just spend time with my husband for my own sanity, so it certainly wouldn't be a hardship.  We've had our girls for just over 2 years and they are 10 and 7 now.  Things didn't change too much because we actually make a lot more money now, we were pretty boring to begin with (not into partying and stuff like that), and all of our free/vacation time was spent with his kids anyway.  The girls are pretty independent though, so we definately have a good deal more time to do what we like around the house (watch movies, play on the computer, read a book) than we would with an infant.  However, this may all be a moot point right now anyway because:

Bad/Annoying news - It turns out that my hip pain has been due to a tear in the cartiledge in my hip joint. So, most likely I will need surgery to repair it.  I have to consult the surgeon still, so I don't know for sure.  However, most likely I will need to delay my plans for a while.  We have a family vacation planned for June/July, so the surgery would have to be after that.  I had hoped to start trying in August...  Oh, well.  What's important is that I'm as healthy as I can be when we do decide it's time.  Luckily, at 26, it shouldn't be a big deal to wait another year or whatever.  I'm sure DH is happy for the reprieve. 

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boos_mom
Message #560 - 05/06/08 06:12 PM



With #1, I was still in my regular clothes into the 5th or 6th month ('all day' sickness, so didn't gain much in the beginning).

With #2, my regular pants wouldn't button up by 12 weeks, although I could use the rubberband around the button and loop it.  I did use some older pants I still hadn't given away, which were a larger size than my pre-pregnancy size, so you could ask if folks have any clothes they're getting rid of rather than jumping into maternity wear.  Also, you could check out those little trendy fashion stores (e.g. forever 21) as a lot of tops right now have empire waists and can be good if they're long enough.   

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boos_mom
Message #561 - 05/06/08 08:21 PM

I hope Holly, Coset & Beth are doing well!  Holly would've been induced yesterday if baby didn't decide to arrive on her own.

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Susan in Texas
Message #562 - 05/07/08 03:51 PM

When did all of you ladies start showing in your pregnancy/when could you not fit into your normal clothes?

For me those were two separate issues.  I did not start showing to the uneducated eye until about the 5th month with both pregnancies.  However, with my second pregnancy, those who knew me saw it at about 8 weeks. 

Clothes quit fitting at ten weeks the first time and seven/eight weeks the second time.  Always get into maternity clothes sooner rather than later.  A lot of what's out there now is close-fitting, which is annoying at 7 months and further, but nice for the first two trimesters because you're not swimming in your clothes.  You may not "show" for a few months after you need maternity clothes, because they are cut to accomodate your tummy.

 

Congratulations to all of you who have had your babies!  I hope everyone is doing well.

Anne, welcome and congratulations.

Sam, I'm so sorry.  PLEASE go talk to your doctor about what might be wrong.  Two consecutive immediate miscarriages is not random.  If your doctor brushes you off, find another doctor.

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anciana
Message #563 - 05/07/08 06:30 PM



  Beth just posted on the May 2008 Due Dates board that she had her daughter on Sunday. They both seem to be doing well.

boards.msn.com/Healthboards/thread.aspx?threadid=377869&boardsparam=Page%3D137   message# 4105

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MittenKitten
Message #564 - 05/08/08 03:01 PM



AH:  Good luck with surgery.  I hope  you feel much better after.  You wanted to save so now you just have that much more time to prepare. 

I have been emailing with Coset.  she hasn't gone yet, my bet is she is really tired right now. 

Any one heard from Holly? 

Beth:  I hope all is going well for you and you are getting some sleep.  I know more then one of us has responded to the boards while holding a baby!

[Virgil Showlion]

Amazon Hunter
Message #565 - 05/08/08 07:06 PM

MK - I'm definately going to put the time to good use.  Nothing else to do but to put it to good use.  Boo hoo!

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boos_mom
Message #566 - 05/08/08 07:57 PM



I went to the OB yesterday.  It turns out what I thought was a possible red stretch mark that was itching like crazy might be the pregnancy rash (PUPP) thing!  Oy!  Right now it's just right around my (nonexistent) belly button, so it's not too bad.  Doc said to put hydrocortisone cream on it and see if it goes away.  At least it stopped the itching.  I hope it does go away.  A co-worker said that she got the rash all over her entire body (except her face) but that it only came during the last 2 weeks.  I'm only 30 weeks, so I hope it does disappear b/c I'd hate to have it that bad with so many weeks left, especially since I planned to work until I pop.

AH - things have a way of making its own time frame, so definitely just take care of yourself and concentrate on your savings goals and recovering from the surgery. 

mitten - I suspect I will disappear for several weeks after baby comes.  My episiotomy was no fun at all and my abdominals weren't so hot especially when bending over, so sitting at a computer was not even in my mind.  Of course, if baby just pops out and I feel great this time, who knows!  One can only dream.....

Beth - congrats on your little wonder!  Definitely make it a priority to indulge yourself with rest.

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Holly Smith
Message #567 - 05/09/08 02:50 PM

I've got a baby!  I went into labor late Friday night, but it stalled when I got to the hospital.  They discovered pre-eclampsia (no bp problems until then), and decided to induce me then.  We ended up with an occult prolapsed cord, so I had to have a c-section.  Elizabeth was 6lbs 8 oz and 20 in long and is very cute.  We got home Tuesday night and are just getting used to being home.

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Amazon Hunter
Message #568 - 05/09/08 03:02 PM



Holly!  Congratulations on your darling daughter.  Glad to know that you are both doing well. 

This must be baby season because 4 people that I know have had babies in the last week or so.  Three singles and one set of twins.  Amazing!

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jdnstl
Message #569 - 05/09/08 03:34 PM

Congrats Holly!!

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boos_mom
Message #570 - 05/09/08 06:44 PM



Congrats Holly!  Sounds like you and Elizabeth are doing great. 

 

Anyone care to share their c-section experiences?  And/or compare it with a non-C-section delivery you've had? 

I am just wondering, as my stomach seems so huge as compared to my first one, and that kid came out nearly 8 lbs.  I just wonder if this kid is bigger, then I may not be able to push him out and will need a c-section.  I think I was sore in the abdominal area for maybe about 2 weeks, where bending over was not a pleasant thing to do.  I didn't really take too much pain medication post-partum, so I'm sure it could've been less painful if I would've taken the meds. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Holly Smith
Message #571 - 05/09/08 07:44 PM

Anyone care to share their c-section experiences?

I would definitely say to try to avoid it.  As I've never had a vaginal birth (and quite possibly never will, since doctors are increasingly wary of performing VBACs), I can't compare it from personal experience.  I can say that I think my recovery has been a lot longer and harder than those of my sister and SIL (except for the one really complicated delivery she had of a large baby), who never had c-sections in the nine babies they had between them.  I don't walk very well and my incision is extremely tender.  I have had abdominal surgery before (gallbladder, 10 years ago), and I was not pounding down the pain pills like I am now.

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boos_mom
Message #572 - 05/09/08 09:29 PM



Thanks Holly!  I hope you do feel better soon!  It's some twisted irony that after going through all of that labor & delivery, then we don't have time to recuperate b/c now there's a little one to take care of.  That would be why #1 didn't sleep in at night with us.  I was too exhausted that first night and the second night, I figured what the heck, my last night of reprieve before we go home.  Of course, some hospital staff might say "oh, mother is not bonding with the baby".  Too bad! 

Of course, you wonder why all of these celebrities have elective c-sections!  Maybe so they get their tummy tuck at the same time.

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coset
Message #573 - 05/13/08 01:28 AM



hey all...........no news still..........not progressing at all in several appts so that is discouraging but I am trying to hang in there.........was told to choose an induction date (sigh) and did but then got called to say the hospital bumped me off the list or something so now it is unknown..........I sure wish I could go on my own though........I tend to have long labors and tested + for group b (sigh) so that tosses me into the high risk arena.............so we'll see.......hope all is well with everyone...........

congrats to those who have babies in arms so far!!!  Glad to hear folks are well

 

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MittenKitten
Message #574 - 05/13/08 03:00 PM



Boos mom:  I did the same thing with my babies at the hospital.  I figure I will have LOTS of opportunities to be up at night with them, I will grab sleep where I can.  Except the first night with this baby she stayed in the room since they had to check her glucose so often. 2nd night she went to the nursery.

My labors and deliveries were not bad compared to most.  DS#1, water broke, 16 hours labor, don't know how long active labor was, 1/2 hour pushing, 1 stitch needed.  DS#2, water broke they didn't believe me, 2 days later labor started, 10 hour labor (lots of back labor OMG is that awful!), 3 hours active labor I think, 15 minutes pushing.  DD water broke, don't recall how long I had contractions, Active labor not long 1.5-2 hours, 3 minutes pushing.  I had epidurals with all but DDs didn't have time to take effect. 

What always surprises me is how long it takes to recover.  For some reason I think I should be back to normal the next week but alas it takes a LONG time!

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MittenKitten
Message #575 - 05/13/08 03:00 PM



Holly Congrats!

Coset:  I feel for you!

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boos_mom
Message #576 - 05/13/08 07:54 PM



coset - I'll be hoping that baby comes without induction!

mitten - interesting that they let you go 2 days after your water broke!  Even if they didn't believe you, like they didn't believe me, they still had a dr. check before trying to send me home.  And then, of course, they started the pitocin to move it along as they want women to deliver within 24 hrs of the water breaking/rupturing.  Yes, I've never really been one laid up too long by sickness or injury, so recovering from delivery was kind of a rude awakening as to how much trauma your body goes through to give us such a special gift.

Heck, I don't think I've figured out when "active labor" begins.  Once I started getting the pit, the contractions were strong and got stronger quickly, and I couldn't even say if it was back labor or not as they were just so strong it emanated from my whole torso.  I don't know if the epidural slowed it down, like people say, but it sure was a lifesaver since it took another 4 hrs from when I finally decided to get it until the kid arrived.  Of course, I am hoping to try for a 'natural' delivery, but if the contractions ends up being like #1, I'll get it again. 

[Virgil Showlion]

coset
Message #577 - 05/14/08 07:15 PM



Boo and MK: thanks.  Had appt again today with doc......no change in stats really.....she said it was a little softer and pretty sure baby is smaller with hair (chuckle) that she could feel......but not to a 1 yet..........go in Monday night and start pit Tuesday morning..............(sigh).......still hoping.....keep fingers crossed I can figure out details for other kids, etc............school night and all.........

Boo - yeah, pit stinks!  I got to have those wrenching contractions for 2 days with almost no change in dilation last time......soooo NOT looking forward to it again....but this time is cervidal first, pit next day (lined up like the first kid which was still not that great) and a doula...so hoping that part will help...........

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coset
Message #578 - 05/14/08 07:18 PM



say, speaking of epidurals..............I have had them both times as it seemed to make my body rest and do what it needed to do.....but if I don't get one this time....what is that like?  I just recall pressure with the epidurals.....I had full movement of legs and such (which wigged out the nurses) and I felt the stitching the first time but not the second time......!?!?!?!

 

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jdnstl
Message #579 - 05/20/08 04:09 PM

hey all...
well, went for the ultrasound last week. everything looks ok. it's an alien boy. i got a good picture of the face with the alien eyes to prove it! a quick question: how far along were you when you felt the 1st movement? every time i go to the doc she asks if i feel anything yet. i'm at 20 weeks & haven't felt anything. dh says the kids just lazy like him & is probably sleeping 24/7. he said "once he's born he'll only sleep 20 hours instead of the 24 he sleeps now." i told him, that's not very conforting.

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New-Mummy
Message #580 - 05/20/08 05:26 PM



If you're at 20 weeks and haven't felt anything they need to check things. You should be feeling movement, even with a first baby.

 

Do kick counts and track them.  I don't want to scare you but I knew something wasn't right and had to keep pushing the doctor to even look. 

 

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping everything's ok.

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Susan in Texas
Message #581 - 05/20/08 05:38 PM



I felt my first babies move at 16 weeks, I think.  I felt my DD at 12 weeks, BUT that was because I had a very full bladder and then leaned against a cabinet to get something from a top shelf, completely squishing her.  She did NOT like it.  I didn't feel her again for another few weeks after that.

You should be feeling some movement.  Have you tried doing a kick count?  Drink something sugary like orange juice, wait a few minutes, and see if you feel anything.  Put your hand on your tummy if you're not sure.  Laying down on your left side might help. 

The ultrasound came out normal?  Was the baby moving during the ultrasound?  Could you feel it then?  What did your doctor say about the lack of movement?

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anne81
Message #582 - 05/20/08 07:02 PM



Is nausea all the time normal?  I'm dry heaving, gagging, lost a few pounds and I'm only 6 weeks in.

 

jdnstl - hope you feel something soon!

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #583 - 05/20/08 07:17 PM



jdn - I think with #1, I felt movement by 14-15 weeks.  Might've been earlier for the "bubbles".  With #2, I think I could feel movement by 12 weeks since I knew what to expect.  Definitely felt more movement by 14 weeks.  I do recommend trying the sugar rush and see if you feel something.  And definitely ask your doctor about it!

anne - maybe it's not normal for some people, but for other people, that will be the crummy experience you get to enjoy as one of the (many) sacrifices you make to bring the little one into this world.  If you're lucky, it will go away after 12 weeks.  If you're not, you may have it until 18 weeks (or even all 9 months, yikes).  I bought dried ginger/ginger candy and would munch on that every so often.  Also, I ate those Pedialyte Popcicles a lot, especially when I first woke up in the morning.  But, if you're not actually throwing up, then remember it could always be worse!   

Tomorrow will be 32 weeks.  These will be really busy weeks b/c we still have to set up the rooms and clean up the house! 

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jdnstl
Message #584 - 05/20/08 08:17 PM

during the u/s last week he wasn't hardly moving. we saw him yawn a couple of times so he must've been sleeping. i saw the doc 2 days later & she said it was ok if i didn't feel any movement yet. the heatbeat was really strong though.

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goddessofrock
Message #585 - 05/20/08 08:54 PM



I just had 2 positive tests after a missed period. I am definately going to be a mommy sooner than planned! DBF is awesome. I have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks. But the whole thing is making me nervous...

 

I was on the pill... how did this happen?

 

DBF's parents are thrilled because they have wanted to be grandparents for awhile, but i haven't told mine yet... I just don't think they're going to be excited and are going to lecture me i did something irresponsible even though DBF and I are 28 and were using the pill... They will be ok with it once they get over the shock of it...

 

but i feel fidgety.... did anyone else find themselves in the unplanned situation??

how did you prepare??

 

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anne81
Message #586 - 05/20/08 10:29 PM



congrats goddessofrock!  when are you due abouts?

 

by any chance were you using a low dose tri-phasic pill?  Just talking to a girl I know and four (!) of her friends got pregnant in recent months on it.

 

as for how you prepare - I'm as interested in answers as you!  DH and I were planning, hoping, and trying, and it was still a huge shock when we found out.  I completely don't feel ready.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #587 - 05/20/08 11:53 PM



Hi Everyone,

I'm back on the board, but not consistantly.  I was too tired to try to find this thread the other day when I was online.  lol. 

 

Keira was born on May 4th, after a short labor.  She had jaundice at first, so we did feedings every 2 hours for the first few days.  Now we're at feedings on demand and starting to try and get a routine/schedule going.  That's not going well so far, but we live in hope...

 

Goddess, Keira was completely unplanned - in fact, DH and I weren't supposed to be able to get pregnant without help AND I was on the pill, so go figure.  I suggest reading everying you can and try to figure out how to apply it to your situation.  I liked the Baby Bargains book and What to Expect When You're Expecting and the Your Pregnancy Week by Week books.  Our family pract. recommended What to Expect in the First Year, which I'm trying to get hold of, because I feel like DH and I are floundering around now that she's here! 

 

As for movement, we think I was a couple weeks after the books said I should, week 22 or so.  But my cousin said she felt her son about 3 times TOTAL in her pregnancy and he's fine.  I think he's 3 years old now.   

 

Clothing, I was about 4 months when my jeans stopped fitting.  I bought a couple pair of elastic waisted black pants prior to that and wore those thoughout the remainder of the pregnancy.  Another of my cousins sent 2 big bags of maternity stuff down to me in Jan, so that helped alot.  I would ask people if they have pregnancy clothes left you can borrow or have.  You can always check with Goodwill or the Salvation Army stores too, for cheap stuff. 

 

Beth

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anne81
Message #588 - 05/21/08 12:00 AM

Congrats on Keira, Wisconsin Beth!  I'm glad you both are well.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #589 - 05/21/08 01:05 AM



Beth - congrats on Keira!  Sounds like you're both doing great, and I'll be hoping for a schedule to emerge for you (but I wouldn't hold my breath until she's a few more weeks along).  I saw your other thread, just sign up online with all of the companies (diapers, formula, etc.) and you'll start getting tons of coupons in the mail. 

Goddess - even though #1 was planned, I still felt pretty ambivalent about jumping off that cliff into parenthood when we found out I was pregnant (I'm a worrier by nature).  At least you have 9 months to get a little more comfortable with the idea.  Read lots of books, articles, watch those "baby" reality shows, and hang out with people who have young children.  Spend a lot of time together as a couple, enjoy each other's company, do stuff you won't get to do soon.  Go to those baby classes and birthing classes.  You can only "prepare" so much b/c when the baby arrives, guess what, you're still not prepared for the reality of it.  But, you grow into it.  Congratulations!

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bibliomaniagrl
Message #590 - 05/21/08 02:18 PM



Anne:  I don't want to freak you out, but the gagging nausea etc. can be very normal.  My first 4 1/2 months were the worst (lost a lot of weight and could only eat cream of wheat), but I'm still pretty sick most of the day (I usually have a window of "I'm not totally feeling gross" from around 10 am to 2 pm every day).  I'm almost 28 weeks (just beginning 3rd trimester) so I anticipate feeling pretty **** until all this is said and done.  I'll be praying yours only last 12 weeks or so.  I think that is more "normal" than what I've been going through. 

 

Beth:  Congrats on your little one!

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goddessofrock
Message #591 - 05/21/08 03:09 PM



I think it was the day i got back from brazil (April 21) This is what i get for having adventures!!

 

Doctor's appointment is in 2 weeks...

 

but i get dizzy anytime i situp or stand up too fast. IT SUCKS. Does anyone else have this? how are you coping?

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bibliomaniagrl
Message #592 - 05/21/08 04:46 PM

Goddess:  I've had the dizzy thing on and off.  Basically I've had to learn to slow down (which totally sucks because I'm always running around like a crazy person).  But it only took one time of almost keeling over because I got up too fast to make me slow down.  I don't want to take a bad fall when I'm preggers.

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anne81
Message #593 - 05/21/08 05:04 PM



bilbiomaniagrl - thanks for the heads up. I hope you feel better soon!  I guess I'm glad I never lost that last ten pounds - because it's disappearing rapidly!  Now that you mention it cream of wheat sounds really good.

 

goddessofrock - how's this for tmi?  I've been charting so I'm pretty sure I got pregnant on the 21st of April as well.  And yes, I've had the dizziness with the black edges to my vision.  It's a little startling because I thought that happened when the baby was larger than a pea.

 

edited to add: I deal with the dizzyness by getting up slower when I remember and being shocked when I don't

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Susan in Texas
Message #594 - 05/21/08 05:15 PM



Goddess, we were married and our first was unplanned.  We were both completely freaked out, and that's putting it mildly.  You do have nine months to get used to it.  Just keep talking to one another.  As you get bigger and hormonal, he (and you!) might need some reassurance that his Goddess will be back, that these changes are hormonal and temporary.  I loved the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, which is a completely non-medical book.

jdnstl, not to scare you because all babies are different, but did they check the blood flow through the umbilical cord or have a look at the placenta?

Anne, have you tried eating small amounts often?  One of my friends who suffered constant nausea took a box of Wheat Thins with her everywhere.

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #595 - 05/22/08 01:08 AM

does anyone else here want to strangle their SO for being an insensitive clod?

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anne81
Message #596 - 05/22/08 01:15 AM

DH made me cry when I first found out I was pregnant because he didn't seem excited.  Turns out he thought I was pregnant for awhile before I got the positive test and it still didn't seem real to him.

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jdnstl
Message #597 - 05/22/08 03:34 PM

susan - they checked the placenta during the u/s. they saw the umbilical cord, don't know if they measured blood flow. why do you mention those 2 things?

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Susan in Texas
Message #598 - 05/22/08 03:58 PM



Because - and keep in mind that I am NOT a doctor, just an experienced mom - babies who aren't getting enough blood aren't getting enough food and oxygen and so don't have much energy.  Repeat, I am not a doctor. 

My twin A had a weensy little umbilical cord, and at birth he was almost two pounds smaller than his brother and skinny.  The reason I bring that up was that neither my doctor nor the radiologist noticed until birth that his cord was so thin, despite having five ultrasounds over the course of the pregnancy.  When he was supposed to be bulking up during the third trimester, he didn't, because he just wasn't getting fed enough.  No one noticed until 37 weeks, when he was suddenly "too skinny for his long bones" and we induced labor the night of that u/s.  He was a fiesty little pistol the whole time, though, and still is.

Twin B was curved with his back to my abdomen, and I hardly ever felt him move, but when we had ultrasounds, he was wiggly--he was just kicking his brother, not me.  That's why I asked if Baby was moving on the u/s.

I really don't want to scare you.  Some babies just don't move much.  But if you're concerned enough to be asking us, please keep talking to your doctor until you get a real medical answer.

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MittenKitten
Message #599 - 05/27/08 05:51 PM

Can anyone rescue me from insanity?  Wow life is crazy!  Hope all are doing well

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MittenKitten
Message #600 - 05/27/08 06:27 PM

FYI: Coset had her baby on Weds.  Both are home and resting.  I will let her give the details when she has time/energy.

[Virgil Showlion]

jdnstl
Message #601 - 05/27/08 09:14 PM

Congrats Coset!!!

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anne81
Message #602 - 05/27/08 09:19 PM

Yay Coset!! 

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Amazon Hunter
Message #603 - 05/27/08 09:38 PM

Horray Coset!!  Super Congrats!

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goddessofrock
Message #604 - 05/28/08 12:41 PM



Is anyone else getting nausea without vomitting?

 

I think i would feel better if i could just vomit....

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MittenKitten
Message #605 - 05/28/08 01:18 PM

Goddess:  I felt that way my whole first trimester.  And for you question in regards to the unexpected pregnancy it is tough.  DD who was just born was a complete surprise and there were times through out the pregnancy I found it tough to be joyful.  (We have two other kids together and I have a Step son, 11 YO, 5 YO and a 2 YO) We were going to be done.  Like others have said you have 9 months to get used to it and adapt.  It will all work out. 

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anne81
Message #606 - 05/28/08 05:09 PM



 Hope you feel better soon goddess.

 

I can't wait for the morning sickness to be over.  Dr. put me on phenergan when I started throwing up the anti-nausea candy and threatened me with an IV.  We'll see how it goes over the next couple of days.

[Virgil Showlion]

kristi28
Message #607 - 05/28/08 05:41 PM



Hey Ladies - can I join you?  What a wonderful supportive group you have here.

DH and I are expecting our first on Dec. 6.  We were trying to conceive, but I still don't feel like it has completely sunk in.  I really feel for you, Goddess, if you weren't expecting this could happen!

I am also suffering from morning (& noon & night) sickness.  It seems a little bit better in the last week or so, (I'm in week 13), but I still feel like all I do is eat, try not to vomit, and sleep.

Went for our 12 week check up yesterday, and my dr. says all looks good.  We got to hear the heartbeat - DH was totally fascinated by the whole thing, which I thought was adorable.  We also got a quote of about $10k for a vaginal delivery and $15k for routine c-section.  Does this seem consistent with your experience?  We really didn't have any idea what this could cost, but fortunately insurance should cover much of it.

We just announced our pregnancy to friends last night.  I'm hoping this will make me feel a little more ready to be a parent.  Eek.

Thanks for such a great board!

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #608 - 05/28/08 06:27 PM



Congratulations Coset!  Way to go! 

 

Kristi, I've rec'd my ebills from the health insurance regarding my DD's birth on 05/04/08.  The 2 days hospital stay was about $7300 and the delivery bill for the ob/gyn was about $2300.  Keira had jaundice, so there were extra doctor visits begining the day after we left the hospital for a checkup and lab work, with are not included in those figures.  I had a routine delivery, so I don't know what a c-section runs.  Oddly enough, my Mom found the bill for my birth in 1970 - a 5 day hospital stay, nursery costs and doctor bill was just over $500. 

 

Got to go, I'm being called for!

Beth

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boos_mom
Message #609 - 05/28/08 06:51 PM



Coset - Congratulations!  Take care of yourself and the little one!

I think i would feel better if i could just vomit....

goddess - I actually have had it both ways.  First pregnancy, I was throwing up all the time.  I could just open my mouth and nearly throw up.  It pretty much made me think about what I was going to eat and avoid things that would be even worse tasting coming back up.  This pregnancy, I just had nausea throughout the day.  Used up a lot of pedialyte popcicles and ginger both times, but I think the vomiting way was actually much worse since you don't necessarily feel better after you throw up or it's only a short relief.  Just hope that you will only have it until you are 12 weeks.  This may feel like the longest 9 months of your life!  I know it does for me.

anne - hope you feel better soon too! 

kristi - My normal delivery from a few years ago was closer to $7k according to the insurance statements.  And that did include the baby's hospital charges and epidural/anesthesiologist.  I wouldn't be surprised if the hospital charges have increased more since then though.  And, of course, a c-section would be more expensive.   

ETA: kristi - Congrats on your pregnancy!  Sorry, I forgot to include that in my original post.  Also, if the nausea seems to be/ feels like it's lightening up, then it probably will get better for you within the next few weeks. 

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kristi28
Message #610 - 05/28/08 07:58 PM



Thanks Beth and Boos_Mom!

It seems like a lot of $$, but I guess I knew that was coming.  We really like our dr. and the hospital, so I'm glad to hear that the cost isn't totally out of line.

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New-Mummy
Message #611 - 05/28/08 11:38 PM



That sounds about right on the prices.  But remember also there is usually a hospital charge and  if they do a c-section you will also get hit with bills from anaesthesiologist, as well as the pediatrician bills for the baby.  Also toiletries, even things like kleenex can be charged out separately. And most places, you will be asked to pay up front and then they will reimburse you if someone else files first.  I hate the medical system, really, I am going to get myself fired because I am arguing this particular practice of "up-front billing" with my boss right now.

 

(Edit: Don't mind me, ladies, if I say something off the wall.   I "bought myself a six-pack and threw a pity party" today.  I keep telling myself not to read this thread but I keep doing it, like sticking your tongue in the hole when a tooth comes out when you were a kid I guess, make sure it's still gone.)

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goddessofrock
Message #612 - 06/03/08 07:26 PM



was anyone else's family less than supportive when they found out you were preggers??

 

I am 28, have been living on my own for 3+ years...2.5 with DBF and this is totally unplanned. I was a little shocked and am definately tired with on and off nausea... but for the most part the 2 of us are happy and ok with having a baby now.

 

His parents are ECSTATIC. his mom is totally ready to be a VoVo (grandma).

 

My parents on the other hand are like..."what are you going to do now?" Way to be supportive guys... way to be happy for us...

 

What do you say when people you are close to react badly to your news??

 

 

[Virgil Showlion]

sjk279
Message #613 - 06/03/08 07:54 PM



goddessofrock, I'm sorry that your parents didn't seem excited! I am making a generalization here, but there are some people that expect you to do life in a particular order - get married, move in together, have children, buy a house with a white picket fence - so you may have caught your parents off guard.

If you comfortable, approach them again and ask tell them how you feel. "It seemed to me that you weren't excited when I told you that I am pregnant. Yes, I know, it was a surprise for me too, but DBF and I have a plan, we're in a good financial situation/getting our bills in order/have good jobs, etc, and really can use your love and support with this".

Many congratuations! I'm sending well wishes that your nausea passes quickly!

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GusitaRenker
Message #614 - 06/04/08 05:14 AM



Ladies,  I have a question , have any of  you experienced implantation bleeding?  What is it like, and when did you experience it?  How long did it last?

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anne81
Message #615 - 06/04/08 05:46 AM



Gusita - I had just a swipe of brown on the tp a few days after ovulation.  Wouldn't even have noticed it if I weren't paying so much attention!

 

goddess - I'm sorry your parents don't seem excited.  I agree that they might be worried about the financial burden or that you're not married.  My friend's mom bought her a fake diamond ring!  She didn't want anyone to know her daughter was giving birth out of wedlock.

 

Another friend of mine told her mom around 6 weeks and her mom told her she'd get excited if the baby lived past the first trimester!

 

Another friend (got a lot of these stories) told her parents and her mom was obviously disappointed.  She was married and had a house and her mom still didn't feel she was financially ready because DH didn't have a degree.  It took dad chatting at mom about where they had been when they started having children for her to settle down.

 

I think sjk gave you great advice about talking to your parents about it later, when you are alone with them.  They might have unexpected insights or are just being silly. 

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sjk279
Message #616 - 06/04/08 05:58 PM



What books and/or magazines were helpful when you were pregnant? As I am getting closer to the date when we will actually try, I am a planner to the T. I love to read up on tips/advice and try to absorb as much as I can. Is there anything worth purchasing or borrowing from the library that any of you recommend?

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anne81
Message #617 - 06/04/08 06:04 PM

I really like the mayo clinic guide - it's informative without being too cutesy and organized really well.

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boos_mom
Message #618 - 06/04/08 06:46 PM



NewMummy - we are all still thinking of you and here for you whenever you need us.

goddess - MIL didn't have much of a reaction when I told her of pregnancy #1.  Maybe it will take time for the news to sink in for your parents.  Or they're worriers (for you, for baby, etc.).  I'm sure by the time baby comes along, they will be wrapped around the little one's finger.  Of course, there may always be disparities between how one set of grandparents treats the grandchild which you will just live with (e.g. one will buy things for the baby all the time, while the other never buys anything save for bday and Christmas; or one set always offer to baby-sit while the other set has limited time to visit, much less baby-sit.) 

sjk - The standard books are okay.  But, what I liked best was talking to other parents and finding out little tricks they used to cope with the little one.

Hooray, our relative roomie moved out.  DH worked on putting together Boo's new twin bed last night.  He should finish it up today along with the dresser.  Then, we can move Boo into that room and get Boo's room ready for the baby.  Boo is excited about her new, big bed, so I don't think she minds that baby is getting her old room or even realized that we put her in the new room b/c the baby will need to be in the room closer to us. 

We also need to get the dryer fixed.  We'd been doing without for several months since the electric bills were huge anyway.  But, I don't want to have to hang all the itty bitty baby clothes, sheets, etc. if it's been one of "those" days.

[Virgil Showlion]

Wisconsin Beth
Message #619 - 06/04/08 07:14 PM



Goddess, my ILs were thrilled.  My parents, were more like "Oh, ok, great."  Pause.  "Oh, wait, it's your first!  Congratulations! etc."  Our DD is grandchild #9 for my parents, so the news is more run of the mill for them.  Not the same as your situation.  My ILs were over the moon, practically crying because they wanted us to have kids so badly.  At least, that's how I felt.  

 

Gusita, my implantation bleeding was heavy enough that I thought I was having a light period.  We weren't trying to get pregnant and when they told me I had missed 2 periods, I was in shock, because I'd thought I'd had 1 and was only missing 1.

 

Sjk, I had the What to Expect When you're Pregnant book and Your Pregnancy Week by Week, via my cousins.  I found both of them helpful overall, but not always.  Check out your local library and see what they've got.  Oh, I also had the Baby Bargains book, which covers what items you need, what ones you don't and rates them.  There's a website too, but I still haven't gotten around to going to it!

 

New Mummy, as boo said, we're here for you. 

 

Beth

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Holly Smith
Message #620 - 06/04/08 07:45 PM

What books and/or magazines were helpful when you were pregnant?

Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
Baby Bargains
WTEWYE was okay, but you have to take some of the advice with a grain of salt.  Otherwise, you'll be eating green vegetables until they come out your ears.

---

AandKinTX
Message #621 - 06/06/08 01:19 PM

I need some recomendations about b.ras.  I am 6 weeks along and my b.oobs have ballooned and I am busting out of my b.ras.  Should I go buy some bigger b.ras or should I look at the maternity/nursing ones. 

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MittenKitten
Message #622 - 06/06/08 02:31 PM



New Mummy: I third Boos thoughts.  I still keep you and your family in my thoughts. 

goddess:  You know your family best.  Some people just don't do warm fuzzies.  If this is not like them and you feel they are they type to be warm about it talk with them.  If they are the more aloof type then just don't worry about it and be happy with your ILs and you DBF.  You probably know why they are like they are, you can always say "you may have conflicting emotions about this but I need you to happy for us." 

Books:  I HATED What to Expect When you are Expecting.  I think the author is WAY unrealistic.  I LOVED The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.  Check both out at the library.

 

So I took DS#2 to the doctor for his 2 year check up.  They have given me a referral to a pediatric development specialist at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis.  But the wait is 2-3 months.  I am hoping if I tell  them we will take any cancellation we can get in earlier.  I really feel he will be diagonsed with Autism.  The school district already is servicing him for Developmental Delay and Speech.  It is frustrating since from what I have read intensive early interventions can actually change their lives the most since the brain is still making connections and such.  But I am reading lots and going to see what I can do in the interim. 

Very frustrating as part of me wants to cry and throw things.  Unfortunately I don't have that luxury as I have the 3 kids and need to give him so much right now.  ARG!  Thanks for letting me vent.  I love all my kids so much it is hard to see one have such a challenge in front of them.  (He will be high functioning but still!)

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kristi28
Message #623 - 06/06/08 02:39 PM



Last night I think that I felt the baby moving!  Woo-hoo!  And thanks for all the encouragement about the nausea - it is getting better, although not gone totally.  I'll take what I can get.

 

AandK: I had the same problem.  I ended up buying a few new ones at about 6 or 8 weeks when the others became unbearable.  They tell me that I may get larger still (ugh), but so far (week 14) the new ones are doing great.  I bought ones that are somewhat absorbent, in case I have leakage later (a friend recommended this).

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azmkmom
Message #624 - 06/06/08 03:40 PM

AandK - I am expecting baby#4!  I recommend just buying new bras.  You have a way to go so you don't know what size you will be when nursing, if that is your plan.  If you grow out of the new ones, you will probably (hopefully?!) be back in them as you stop nursing or lose baby weight.  I know with my first pregnancy my ribs expanded 2 sizes, from a 34 to a 38.  It depends on how your body will carry the baby.  Congratulations!

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #625 - 06/06/08 04:39 PM

mittenkitten - I hope you are able to get into see someone soon.

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jdnstl
Message #626 - 06/06/08 05:00 PM

AandK - i've had to buy bras twice. my boobs started growing so i went up a cup size. then my ribs expanded & had to go from a 38 to a 42. for now i'm buying reg. bras, but only 2-3 at a time. last time i bought them they were on sale buy 2 get 1 free, otherwise i would have just bought 2.

books- i haven't read any other than part of the book given to me by the doc. once i got to all the possible things that can go wrong & all the tests i stopped. it made me anxious to read that so i stopped. i will probably pick up at the next chapter, which is about eating, this weekend.

so i went to the doctor yesterday for a checkup. i asked her why i still wasn't feeling the baby at 22 weeks. she said the placenta is anterior so it's blocking me from feeling anything. but i should start feeling something in the next few weeks. my next appt is in 3 weeks & i have to do the 1 hour glucose test. so NOT looking forward to that. if i'm still not feeling anything by then, then i'll start worrying & bugging the doctor to do more tests or whatever.

that's all from my little world. have a great weekend everyone!

---

Susan in Texas
Message #627 - 06/06/08 08:06 PM



Jdnstl, I am so glad to hear that the dr has an explanation for you!

Gusita, I had a little bleeding with my first, just enough of a smear and a little cramp to make me think my period was starting.  Boy was I surprised!

B.ra advice: buy a few.  Only buy a few, because you may grow some more.  If you find that your rib cage is expanding and/or you are gaining weight in addition to the "girls" growing, buy a b.ra back extender from a maternity store or sewing shop.  You can buy nursing b.ras, the only special thing about them is that the cup detaches.   Whatever you buy, keep it, because you may wear it again on the way back down, or the next time you have a baby!

I hated "What to Expect When you're Expecting," because they thought the most important thing in the whole world, more important than not shooting heroin, for instance, was following their diet plan.  That ruined the many good parts of the book for me.  I liked "Your Pregnancy Week by Week," even though I did not like the organization of it or the simplistic tone; a weekly "checkup" gave me some new positive thing to think about.

New Mummy, I saw your post on the underwear thread about not being able to wear the nursing bras, and my eyes teared up.  We are all here for you.  And you are STILL a mom.  Aeryn grew and was born and lived and no one can ever take those experiences away from you.  Hugs to you and your family.

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Susan in Texas
Message #628 - 06/06/08 08:07 PM



oops! wasn't quite done.

Anne, I'm sorry the nausea is so bad.  How far along are you now?

Mitten, I hope they can get you worked in soon.

---

boos_mom
Message #629 - 06/06/08 08:33 PM



mitten - well, it's good that they're trying to catch this early.  A lot of doctors tend to brush off concerns for boys, since they tend to be "slower" developmentally than girls.  Hopefully, you'll get to see the specialist earlier.

anne - I hope you are better soon!  Your post on another thread sounds like you are pretty miserable and bed-ridden as well. 

A&K - some here recommended the Barely There bras that have detachable/clippy straps for pseudo-nursing bras that still function as normal bras.  Macy's is having the buy 2 get 2 free sale next Tues. and Wed. and there's a $10 off coupon for purchases made before 1 pm, if you work near a Macy's.  That'd result in 4 bras at $12.50 each.  They are comfy.  Also, get the bra extender sold in the sewing section of most stores (-marts). 

re: What to Expect When You're Expecting - yes, their meal plan was rather crazy, but it gave me ideas for snacks and eating choices.  But, no way can I eat that way for 9 months.  I do avoid caffeine (except for coffee ice cream, not much in there right!) anyway and try to eat better but not always.  I found a great little place near work that has these tasty salmon burgers, so that's been filling my salmon cravings lately. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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AandKinTX
Message #630 - 06/06/08 11:05 PM



Thanks for all the suggestions, right now the bands seem to fit fine, it is just that the cups runith over.   I will have to check out Macy's, I hate bra shopping with passion. 

 

 

[Virgil Showlion]

btvsrcks
Message #631 - 06/06/08 11:27 PM



Can I ask you ladies a question?  My husband and I are currently trying to get pregnant, although I haven't gone to the OB yet to talk about it (I admit it, I have been procrastinating) but today at work I had what can only be described as a dizzy spell.  Can that happen when you get pregnant?  It was the oddest feeling.  I am used to occasionally having dizzy spells and shaking related to low blood sugar, but this didn't have any of that...

 

Can anyone comment?  Note: I didn't read the whole thread.. it was a bit long.

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marvelousmonkey
Message #632 - 06/07/08 01:17 AM

Did any of you go on a babymoon?  DH and I are expecting at the end of October and really want to get away somewhere fabulous this summer.  Any ideas?  We have about 7-10 days and a 3-6K budget...  Thanks!!

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Susan in Texas
Message #633 - 06/07/08 01:50 AM

Coset, mittenkitten, did you guys get stormed upon?  Are you okay?

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MittenKitten
Message #634 - 06/08/08 03:25 AM



Susan:  Which storm?  May 25th we got pounded with lots of hail damage to our house and vehicle, May 31st missed us.  We know of someone who lost 1/3 of their roof on the 25th.  Waiting for the adjuster to call us to come see the house and have an appointment for the vehicle to be inspected.  But everyone in our family is safe which is the real important thing.  Thanks for asking. 

Babymoon:  Yes we went on a cruise while pregnant with DS#1 our first together.  VERY glad we went.  We went on a cruise in the caribean.

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bogart
Message #635 - 06/08/08 03:31 AM

btvsrcks,

Yes, that (dizziness/lightheadedness) can definitely be a sign of pregnancy.  Just a heads-up on something you hopefully already know (even without seeing your OB):  women who are ttc or pregnant should be taking a 400 mcg folic acid (it's one of the B vitamins) supplement daily, as doing so has been shown to reduce the risk of neural tube defects in the developing infant.


Hope you'll be posting good news soon!

---

burghmom
Message #636 - 06/08/08 06:40 AM



Hi everyone.  I'm just lurking a little, as my baby birthing days are over (2 boys, 10 and 5).  Many of you were posting questions/ideas about maternity clothes, and I just wanted to mention my experience when I was pregnant with DS #1.

 

I wasn't sick or anything, just a little tired in the beginning of my pregnancy.  I actually felt pretty good, slept well, got lots of exercise.  Then at a certain point (can't remember exactly when), I started to feel just "out of sorts".  I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with me, but I was just crabby and not myself. 

 

One day my mom took me shopping and made me buy some maternity clothes "since I was going to need them and it was a great sale".  I bought a couple pairs of jeans, some shorts, T-shirts, and dresses for work.  I also let the saleslady measure me for a maternity bra. 

 

I swear to you, it was almost like one of those V8 commercials.  The reason I was so out of sorts was because my regular clothes didn't fit right anymore.  I am a girl who loves her jeans, and not being able to wear my favorites just wrecked my harmony!  I didn't even realize it until I put the maternity jeans on.  I felt like myself again!  Who knew that ill-fitting clothing could make a person so cranky?

 

Anyway, my point is to make sure you buy clothes that fit well and are comfortable.  You don't have to buy expensive maternity clothes, but make sure what you do buy makes you feel good.  Also, don't guess on your correct bra size.  Have someone at a maternity store measure you.  A good bra makes cheap clothes look like a million bucks.

 

Just my thoughts!

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #637 - 06/08/08 01:07 PM



btvrcks

 

dizziness was one of the first signals something was up...

 

then my boobs HURT! like on and off ALL the time...

 

have you missed a period/taken a pee test?

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goddessofrock
Message #638 - 06/08/08 01:15 PM



books...re

 

I started reading what to expect and it totally freaked me out... as if first time moms don't have anxiety already....

a lot of it seemed geared toward problem pregnancies and people over 35 and that stupid unrealistic diet!

 

 

on a good note, my company has blue cross blue shield and one of my girl friends told me to call them and sign up

for Living HEalthy Babies. Apparently they send you a free book that is really helpful  800-233-  3344

 

 

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anne81
Message #639 - 06/08/08 06:11 PM



btvrcks - I had the dizziness too.  Still have it.  Good luck!

 

goddess - I've been told that what to expect is really scary, so I've avoided it.  I like the girlfriend's guide to pregnancy and the mayo clinic book.  I also like pregnancy sucks, but that's where I am mentally.  It's not super informative.

 

burghmom - I'm still losing weight everywhere but my waist and boobs.  It's a definite adjustment.  Used the bella band for the first time yesterday.

---

New-Mummy
Message #640 - 06/09/08 12:00 AM



Sign up for the program through Blue Cross.  I can vouch that those nurses are absolutely wonderful, at least the ones assigned to me - I had 2 because the first one took vacation just as we were finding out something was going wrong, so she got me set up with another nurse while she was gone and then they both were calling up to check on me and in fact have called up several times since to make sure I'm still ok. 

 

I wish they had a toddler hotline. I'm having problems being consistent and patient right now with my turning two years at the end of this month son. Especially when he tries the hitting, I've just had it. And my husband doesn't seem to be "here" right now, even when he's home, so there are a lot of days I am getting extremely frustrated and I know I'm doing poor parenting things - like right now, I really do have to hit post and get off the computer, playing "bathtime chicken" isn't going to work any longer, I always lose anyway. So I've got to go give the child who's been alternately clingy and aggressive all day and is finally just playing cars a bath while my husband stares at his computer screen. 

Don't mind me, I'm just feeling like a lemon tonight.  Maybe I should get some vodka and try to become a hard lemonade. (Attempt at joke but disregard if it makes no sense.  I'm really not sure about it but there you go.)

---

anne81
Message #641 - 06/09/08 02:09 AM



New-Mummy - I wish I had advice for you about the toddler terrors.  My friend used to pour tequila over lemon gelato when she was going through her divorce.  She said it was tasty and made her feel a little bit classier. 

 

As for DH - are the two of you seeing a professional you can talk too?  I always vote for that because I've had some excellent counselors.

---

New-Mummy
Message #642 - 06/09/08 06:00 AM



No, actually the only one getting grief counseling is my mother because she works at the hospital and the chaplains all advised her to do it.  We should really get some kind of counseling but my husband won't even talk to me, so I doubt he would jump at the idea of talking to anyone else.  Besides, if insurance didn't cover it then there's no way we could afford it.  I know some churches around here have free marriage/family counselors but to be quite honest, I don't want to hear another word about "It was G-d's will" or "It's all part of His plan," I hear enough of that from the in-laws. Not bashing Christians or Christianity, it's just that having to sift through someone else's dogma to get to shared truths isn't really a good idea right now, my anger at everything would not translate well to conversation.  I had to **** my tongue yesterday when I went to get my husband at work, and a new coworker said "Oh, is this your family?" to him.  I wanted to just snap back "Well, except for the dead ones, yes." But it would have served absolutely no purpose, would have hurt my husband, and would not have made anyone acknowledge that we have had 3 children only one of whom has thus far lived.  So luckily the filter in my brain did snap down before I opened my mouth.  It's basically, we can function in public when people expect us to, but at home we just shut down.

 

The thing that's even more infuriating to me is that I really don't want to be angry or frustrated with my son right now.  I would love to just sit and play with him all day.  But I have work to do, my job as well as all the household work and remodeling.  Besides, he would still throw fits, he's at that developmental stage.  It's just harder for me to shift gears from angry to happy, and then stupid stuff like checking on him every 10-20 minutes when he's napping to make sure he's still ok.  Also things like my parents had us over and he started literally making screaming noises just to get attention - I don't want to spank because (1) you shouldn't ever spank in anger and (2) he only has one kidney and he is very much smaller than I am - but I swear it is getting harder and harder to hold that hand back from reaching out and just smacking him.  Trying to put him in a "sit-down" time out now results in him trying to smack me like mad...anyway, just making me insane.

[Virgil Showlion]

bibliomaniagrl
Message #643 - 06/09/08 12:40 PM



Babymoon:  My DH and I did a pre-pregnancy (knew we would be trying) babymoon.  Good thing too because I've been sick almost nonstop.  We went to Prague for 10 days (cost around 5-6K).  We loved it!  It was quite cool/cold when we went (Oct.) and I've heard that it gets kind of toasty during the summer so depending on how far along you are you may want to try somewhere else.  We also did a long weekend to Charleston in March when I was around 5 months.  I was sick a lot but we still had a good time.  Now at 30 weeks I don't want to go any where unless it is cool/cold.  Hating this midwest heat!

 

Books:  I did buy the What to Expect, but haven't read it in a while.  I just didn't really like the way it was organized and I agree with the food comments.  My thing is use common sense with food and eat what you can eat.  I could basically only eat Cream of Wheat for the first 4 1/2 months which isn't all that healthy, but was the only thing I could keep down for any length of time.  A number of friends have suggested Babywise which I bought.  I plan to read it in the next couple weeks.  It's more about baby care and setting up a schedule so that the baby can begin sleeping through the night etc.  A number of my friends have used the "system" (some with adjustments) and had great results.  Figured I'd try it.

---

jdnstl
Message #644 - 06/09/08 02:16 PM

new-mummy  don't feel bad because **** is ok. i hate that people believe you can discipline children without touching them. as far as **** while angry, well, one good pop & that's all that should be needed at that age. children that young don't understand words & don't have a concept of right or wrong. how can you explain that? they associate things. they see you & know you're 'mommy'. when someone calls you by your first name they have no idea what/who that person is talking about. the same goes for behavior. you want to reward good behavior with happy words & hugs, & reward bad behavior with a stern voice & one spank. then they will associate good behavior with the 'good' feelings they get from your positive attention, & associate the 'bad' feelings they get from your negative attention. i believe children that young respond to actions more than words that they may not truly understand. that's why i say give hugs - a positive, feel good action, or give a **** - a negative, feel bad action. good luck.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #645 - 06/09/08 02:24 PM



Biblio, I'll look into Babywise, as baby care and scheduling are our big challenges right now.  I ignored the diet advice in WTEWYE for the most part.  I'm overweight anyway, so as long as my doctor was ok with what I was doing/eating, I wasn't going to worry it. 

 

New Mummy, does your work offer any kind of Employee hotline/assistance program?  If not, maybe you cab squeeze out enough money for a session or 2 just for you?  Because we're here for you, but it might be more helpful to scream at a professional?  And yes, I do mean scream if it works out that way.  And I'm sorry your toddler is being annoying

 

As for the b.ra question, I went out and bought a couple of bigger sized bras as I felt necessary.  Then moved into nursing bras at week 36/37.  I was told that they prefer to fit for nursing bras around then because your rib cage expands more the last couple week of pregnancy and you may not get the correct fit otherwise.  That said, I still don't think I have the correct fit on my nursing bras! 

 

Good luck!

Beth

---

bibliomaniagrl
Message #646 - 06/09/08 05:20 PM

Beth, I could totally be naive as this is baby #1, but aren't your ribs supposed to go back some (maybe not to pre-pregnancy) after you have the baby?  So I guess I'm not getting the whole when to buy nursing bras thing.  My ribs/bra measurements have already gone from a 34 to a 38 and they are killing me now (could have something to do with DD trashing around inside) which usually means they are spreading more.  I'm hoping to use my barelythere ones (that I've had to buy as I've gotten bigger) with the detachable straps instead of nursing b.ras but they only go up to a 38.  If I get much bigger they won't work even with an extender...oh the things you have to think about when you're preggers.

---

boos_mom
Message #647 - 06/09/08 06:40 PM

I don't want to spank because (1) you shouldn't ever spank in anger and (2) he only has one kidney and he is very much smaller than I am - but I swear it is getting harder and harder to hold that hand back from reaching out and just smacking him.  Trying to put him in a "sit-down" time out now results in him trying to smack me like mad...anyway, just making me insane.

NewMummy - you are correct in that you should not spank in anger and your concerns about your forcefulness in relation to your son's size/weight are also very valid concerns, especially given his own medical issues.  You sound extremely overwhelmed, working and trying to care for your son without much help from DH and also not having the time to process your own grief.  Is there any way for you to get some respite care for your son from some nice neighbors or church groups (even if you don't attend a church)?  Are there no parenting resource lines that you can call in your town that can hook you up with some community resources?  Honestly, if you can call and ask for help, rather than having something happen in the heat of the moment. 

I know toddlers can be so taxing emotionally and it is difficult when you are getting short on patience to control your own temper.  Does yelling have any halting effect on your son?  Because he is already willing to hit you when you are trying to put him in "time out", I personally do not think **** would necessarily teach him not to hit you or to behave a certain way.  Each child is different and what works for one child (****) does not necessarily work for another.   

I borrowed a book from the library, Kazdin's Method to Disciplining the Difficult Child (or something similar) and it discusses more about witholding any attention to the undesired behavior while positively reinforcing the desirable behavior.  Perhaps you could check it out and see if it something you can apply to your own situation.  It is a package deal, though, as he points out that too many parents pick and choose discipline techniques rather than consistently applying the whole process.  It may take an intense period of a couple of weeks or so of training the child, but after that you should be able to ease up while keeping the desired behaviors.

Whatever you do, please get some help for your family, as you are all hurting.  See if there's a support group at least in your area.  Can you go with your mother to her counseling sessions?  You and your husband need to heal yourselves before you can deal with your toddler's difficult/normal behaviors in the appropriate way.

---

goddessofrock
Message #648 - 06/10/08 12:43 PM



NEW MUMMY~~have you tried taking a shower with your toddler?

 

BATHTIME CHICKEN.... I am assuming you are having a tough time getting the toddler to bathe?

 

I don't remember this when i was a toddler... but I remember that one of the easiest ways for my parents to get my sister clean was for her to take a shower with one of them... she loved it.

[Virgil Showlion]

debtinheritor
Message #649 - 06/10/08 04:45 PM

Did any of you use ovulation kits when you were trying?  Seems like one time on this thread someone mentioned places online where you could save on them.  DH and I are trying, and we used a kit this month, but they are expensive, and if we would need it again next month I would just like to find a decent deal on them.

Also, those that have experienced the dizzyness, how far along were you when that was happening?

---

anne81
Message #650 - 06/10/08 05:10 PM



I bought tons of cheap pregnancy/ovulation tests online - amazon is a great place to look.  Honestly - budget a little extra if that's your thing to buy more tests the day you get a positive.  I spent $50 on multiple tests the day I got one on the cheap internet test.

 

New Mummy - I know you are totally strapped for cash.  Lots of therapists use a sliding scale that's very reasonable, if you talk to them.  Also where I used to live in CA the county ran a program called Family Service Association that provided counseling and other support on a sliding scale.  I think I paid $20 a session, I knew someone else that paid $10.  Counseling doesn't have to be a long term thing - cognitive-behavioral can get you where you're going pretty quick if you engage.

---

GusitaRenker
Message #651 - 06/10/08 06:23 PM



Debtinheritor,

Definately check out amazon.com for pregnancy tests and ovulation kits, they are very cheap there.  And good luck!

---

boos_mom
Message #652 - 06/10/08 07:38 PM

debt - I used the cheapie pee sticks rather than the expensive, reusable kits (bought them locally at the store).  If you don't mind wasting one month, you might miss the initial + reading for the cheapie ones because it's hard to differentiate a + reading (not that dark of a line) from a - reading (extremely light line).  However, once you see the two different readings, you will know.  Otherwise, you could spend a little more for a happy face or actual + and - signs.  But, the cheapie one worked fine for me.  I only used less than 2 boxes before we got pregnant using the sticks.

---

debtinheritor
Message #653 - 06/10/08 07:59 PM

boos - thank you for the info.  I will have to try those.  My SIL told me that one of the local stores usually does a buy one get one on their brand every so often and would let me know when they do this again.  I'm hoping we don't need too many of them, if I'm lucky maybe the first one worked, it was a fancy one that had a smiley face.

---

livingalmostlarge
Message #654 - 06/10/08 08:04 PM



New-mummy, there are places with some free counseling.   Often times crisis centers where you can call in and just talk. Maybe they won't give advice but they can listen actively and that can really help.


As for ****, you've got points.  But the kid needs to stop whacking you too. Unless you want to go to school and whack some kid only to be whalloped back.

[Virgil Showlion]

Susan in Texas
Message #655 - 06/11/08 03:30 AM



New Mummy,

I don't have much to add to the counseling recommendations except to send you lots of virtual hugs, and to posit that your husband might talk to a counselor more easily than he is talking to you right, now, because he knows you are in pain too. 

The one piece of practical advice I do have is that we used our playpen, with the toys taken out, as a timeout spot until our sons were about 4, precisely because upset toddlers don't sit still.  Climbing out of timeout was one of the handful (no pun intended) of s.panking offenses in our household, right up there with deliberately lying or doing dangerous things--hitting mom or dad is also on that short list.  A s.panking, just to clarify, was 1-3 smacks on the bare bottom, just enough to sting without injuring and to startle them when words were failing to change their behavior.  It only took once with each child to learn to stay in the playpen.  After that, the playpen worked very well as a spot for them to stay contained, away from fun stuff and human contact, and get calm again.

Did this behavior start around the time that Aeryn died, or has it been ongoing and is strictly a function of age?  Or both?

---

Susan in Texas
Message #656 - 06/11/08 03:35 AM

Mittenkitten, glad to now you all are okay.  The Upper Midwest has had some weird weather this year.

---

New-Mummy
Message #657 - 06/11/08 11:07 AM



Bathtime chicken - when neither one of us feels like crawling out of our holes to take care of putting the boy to bed so he gets more and more rambunctious while DH & I determinedly try to ignore it until the other person gets up and just does it.  Like fake sleeping when a baby is hungry. Mother usually loses and it results in child staying up past bedtime 80% of time.

 

Some of the behaviour is because Mummy & Daddy aren't acting normal, some of it is normal 2-year-old stuff.  Yelling has no effect on him, probably because I have been doing too much of it.  His sleep patterns have gotten kind of off due to bathtime chicken and summer light. That, and it doesn't help that if I call my mother and tell her I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with his hitting or tantrums she just says "Oh, he's just being 2."  Which is probably right but I need a pity party or at least some affirmation that I'm not a horrible mother.  Probably what keeps triggering things is that he's had once or twice he's gotten away with something. 

 

I'm not sure I need grief counseling quite as much as I need a babysitter so I can have time and space to grieve.  I need some kind of forward motion, but it feels like everyone has just forgotten about her, that she was never here.  I know from what I've read that this is pretty normal, but it still feels crappy.  I do appreciate all you ladies listening here.  Down in Austin I probably could have found free counseling that wasn't attached to a church, but in this town...don't know...

 

On the plus side, I did find a new OB/GYN, and had an appointment yesterday.  She's referred me back to the maternal-fetal specialist I liked so we can keep looking at things, and she got me on Depo so I (cross your fingers) don't get pregnant again until everything's healed up, we have all the information, and make a decision one way or the other.  Although not having periods is probably going to freak me out for quite a while.

 

 

 

---

goddessofrock
Message #658 - 06/11/08 01:31 PM

who else has an itchy belly button??  What are you doing about it?

---

bibliomaniagrl
Message #659 - 06/11/08 03:12 PM

goddess: about the itching...I've been itchy on my stomach for a while and now most everywhere.  I've been carrying around Aveeno Skin Relief Moisturizing lotion with cooling menthol and using that during the day (It doesn't smell too medicated).  I've also used Gold Bond Medicated (green bottle--more medication smell).  I used to have very oily skin so I never used one of those cream oil body washes just the regular kind.  But since my skin has been so dry-ish/tight I've switched to using one of the Caress cream oil body washes in the shower.  That helps too.  At night I use Mama Bee (Burt's Bees) cooling peppermint foot and leg lotion which helps with the whole restless leg feeling I've been having.  I also love the Mama Bee belly butter.  I am usually allergic to a lot of things and so far these have worked for me (my dermatologist recommended the Aveeno stuff in the past and likes natural products like Burt's).

---

MittenKitten
Message #660 - 06/11/08 03:32 PM



Toddler/Discpline:  123 Magic is a wonderful book on how to discpline at any age.  I had a very hard time with DS#1 when I had DS#2, he was 3 at the time and STUBBORN!  I did spank at times but knew I needed another way. I don't believe in **** and hated that I couldn't find another way.  It takes some time to implement but be patient it DOES work.  The hard part for me is to not be emotional when I am instituting it. 

New Mummy:  Have you looked into online grief groups?  Your feelings are understandable and while I believe in G_d I do not want anyone preaching at me, especially when you want to do nothing but rage against everyone over your loss.  Have some patience with yourself and your husband as you probably know everyone grieves differently.  You have a very hard job right now with a toddler who doesn't understand or frankly care that you are grieving not to mention everything else.  Can you maybe make a small memorial to your children that have passed and maybe spend 15 minutes a day there?  I felt like the worst mom out there when I had DS#2 and DS#1 was acting out.  It is VERY tough!  You love your child and are seeking solutions so you are a GREAT MOM going through a tough time.  When you need a break I second the setting up the pack n play/playpen and let your toddler watch a movie or play with toys in there.  If that doesn't work set up his/her room so it is safe and put him/her in there.

[Virgil Showlion]

goddessofrock
Message #661 - 06/13/08 07:58 PM



Sigh! I feel like a human today and not a hormonal space creature. YAY!! (I'm 9 weeks along and it's been crazy...)

 

 

 

 

---

sjk279
Message #662 - 06/13/08 08:06 PM



A belated thank you for all the book advice, My friends either love or hate What to Expect, no one has been neutral. I may check that one out from the library.

DH and I are ready. AAGGHH. A little scary, but we're excited to start on the next step of our life.

goddessofrock, have you talked with your folks again?

---

bogart
Message #663 - 06/13/08 09:09 PM

New-Mummy,

I lurk/post here infrequently, and I just realized that you lost a baby, Aeryn.  I'm so, so terribly sorry.

I don't know if this would be of any value and apologize up front if it's offensive, but I've recently discovered the blogs of several women who write tremendously poignantly and movingly about their experiences of pre-term loss, stillbirth, and infant loss (different women, different experiences).  In fact, a group of six have come together to write a shared blog they call <i>Glow in the Woods</i> -- you can find it reviewed (and linked) here:  www.blogher.com/glow-woods.

While I would imagine that not all of these women's experiences and perspectives would speak to you, I guess some of them might, and it's clear that many of them find blogging to be important to "keeping going" after their losses (again, I'm probably oversimplifying/overgeneralizing, but I hope that's not entirely inaccurate).

You can read about the contributors to Glow in the Woods here:  www.glowinthewoods.com/contributors/

And they also have a blogroll that groups bloggers by what they've experienced (e.g. stillbirth, neonatal loss, medical termination), here:  www.glowinthewoods.com/contributors/

Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Aeryn.

---

Wisconsin Beth
Message #664 - 06/14/08 12:27 AM

Beth, I could totally be naive as this is baby #1, but aren't your ribs supposed to go back some (maybe not to pre-pregnancy) after you have the baby?  So I guess I'm not getting the whole when to buy nursing bras thing.  My ribs/bra measurements have already gone from a 34 to a 38 and they are killing me now (could have something to do with DD trashing around inside) which usually means they are spreading more.  I'm hoping to use my barelythere ones (that I've had to buy as I've gotten bigger) with the detachable straps instead of nursing b.ras but they only go up to a 38.  If I get much bigger they won't work even with an extender...oh the things you have to think about when you're preggers.

DD was my first one too and I still haven't figured out the b.ras.  I bought a sports b.ra yesterday.  It's from Medela (the pump people.)  I'm hoping it will work as I'm tired of washing them so frequently!   

 

 

 

---

goddessofrock
Message #665 - 06/15/08 12:59 PM



Everyone is adjusting...

 

I had lunch with my mom and one of my sisters the other day. I brought the pic of the ultrasound which my sister grabbed. She is totally cool with being an auntie. My other sister is a little freaked out because she knows how hard i have worked to get my s.*.i.t together and when life is finally going up and up something unexpected happens... Which was actually one of my moms biggest concerns... how am I handling things. 

 

At DBF's suggestion I explained to my mom that he has a lot of money and that we have been planning on getting married at some point and that he has enough to buy a car and a nice house in Brazil (where he is from) for us. She seemed to relax. She asked me about health insurance and stuff like that... but my company has excellent health insurance that covers pretty much everything and they love me there so i will just stay with them until we move. 

 

I talked to my Nana yesterday and she basically said "don't worry about your parents, they just know it wasn't easy" and "don't get married for the baby, get married if you're sure you love him, a lot of people get married because of the kids and end up making a big mess" which i agree with. It's kind of funny, but my mom's parents have always been a bit more liberal and lot more adventurous than my parents. it is what it is.

---

goddessofrock
Message #666 - 06/15/08 01:03 PM



Books...

 

I read Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul. So cute. I needed a lift.

[Virgil Showlion]

bibliomaniagrl
Message #667 - 06/16/08 01:50 PM

Okay laundry detergent question...Should I use the Deft stuff or is a Free and clear (like ALL which I have to use as I'm allergic to everything else) okay.

---

New-Mummy
Message #668 - 06/16/08 02:28 PM

I've been using the All Free & Clear with my son since very early on and had no problems, actually it does better on the diapers than most other things I've tried.  Also on the diapers I use a free & clear Clorox for colors (it's sodium percarbonate which seems to take the "biological stains" out better than chlorine bleach).

---

boos_mom
Message #669 - 06/16/08 08:43 PM



biblio - the free & clear stuff should be fine.  You may want to use a little less detergent than you use on adult clothing and just wash the baby stuff & clothes by themselves.  But, if baby's skin is okay, then you can work on throwing things together or using more detergent for the more soiled items.

goddess - it's so nice to feel "normal" but unfortunately the alien will return many times over the next 9 months!  DH asks why I get so mad sometimes.  I tell him, you'll see when you come back in your next life as a woman and get pregnant.  Good to hear your parents are happier for you!

DH recaulked the bathroom and fixed the leaking pipe in the kitchen over the weekend!  He also installed a shower head in the hall bath so that we can bathe the kids in that tub.  It's been so much easier on the back with the new shower head.  The more things he gets done, the more inspired he becomes to work on other stuff around the house! 

We gave away the baby girl clothes to an expectant relative and set up the crib.  Still have to get rid of the toddler bed, wash the baby boy clothes, pick up a box of size 1 diapers, pack my bag, pre-register with the hospital, and install the car seat bases.  But, seems like we're more prepared earlier for this one than we were with #1.  I'll be 36 weeks in a couple of days.

---

goddessofrock
Message #670 - 06/17/08 05:19 PM



My doctor's office told me my appointments should be about 20 minutes long...

 

well today's was about an hour.  The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound and couldn't get a good picture so they did an "internal" ultrasound...

 

at 10 weeks, the baby is doing like karate and gymnastics in there!

no wonder i'm getting nauseated! The kid is doing back flips!

---

anne81
Message #671 - 06/17/08 05:40 PM



Goddess - How much fun!  I'm not having the first ultrasound till the first trimester screening but I'm starting to get excited.  It's great that you talked to your mom.  DH finally told his dad on Father's Day - only response?  "About time!"

 

Also - today is my first day out of bed except to go to the hospital in weeks!  Yay!  I've been getting IV's twice a week so a I look like a junkie. 

---

AandKinTX
Message #672 - 06/17/08 06:00 PM

We haven't told anyone yet, I wanted to wait until first after my first appt, which is on Friday.  I had a miscarriage in Nov '07, so I am little skittish, but I think my Mom knows or at least expects.  She called me and wants to have dinner together this week, which is a little out of character for her.  We settled on Thursday night.  I think I may just go ahead and tell her, DH won't care, he would have sent out mass emails weeks ago if I would let him.  Are you a shout it from the roof tops kind of person or would you keep your cards close to your chest?

[Virgil Showlion]

shawnamy-Ashlynn is 22 months
Message #673 - 06/17/08 06:13 PM

I used to post on here occasionally under a different screen name.  DH and I just found out this past weekend that we're expecting.  I am a shout it from the roof tops kind of person, but DH is trying to keep me contained...lol.

---

boos_mom
Message #674 - 06/17/08 06:55 PM



goddess - #1 was like that too in the first u/s.  Running a marathon and dancing and non-stop moving.  It was so neat!

anne - glad to hear that you're up today!    Hey, gotta celebrate each little accomplishment!

A&K - of course you're understandably skittish.  Basically, we told parents, siblings, and my best friends - the people that would be supports for us if we did miscarry.  We waited until after we got past the first trimester before telling most other folks (actually, more like after the u/s & blood screening results which came around 18 weeks).  I'm not a "shout it from the rooftop" kind of person, but DH was really excited and wanted to tell people but waited til I said it would be okay.

shawnamy - Congratulations!!!  

---

anne81
Message #675 - 06/17/08 10:08 PM

A&K - we told my moms at 5 weeks, friends around the same time.  They knew we were trying, so when we stopped talking about trying and I started puking it was pretty obvious.  Wherever your comfort level is.  We didn't even tell DH's dad till Father's day because he wanted to tell him in person.

---

MittenKitten
Message #676 - 06/19/08 05:33 PM



Everyone:  Cosett asked me to say hello for her.  She has a lot on her hands with 3 children (including the baby) and her hubby is out of town on a project. 

I usually blab everything but with the pregnancies I waited for DS#1 and DD.  DS#1 it was my first pregnancy and while I wasn't worried about miscarrying I just wanted to hug the info close for a little while.  DS#2 we told everyone right away.  DD was a surprise and we needed to adjust to it before we told others.  I think we told people around 8-10 weeks.  Some of the reactions for DD were priceless as everyone knew we we done.  My stepmother gave the phrase "her jaw dropped to the ground" new meaning. 

I hope everyone is doing well.  I don't have much time to post anymore with 3 and keeping up with the no spending thread.

---

New-Mummy
Message #677 - 06/20/08 06:24 PM



Ladies, just wanted to let you know that I am actually kind of having a normal day today, because I've mostly been posting when I'm upset.  It's a really weird feeling, normalcy.  Maybe it's the sunshine, maybe it's that the little shelf for Aeryn's urn is here in the house and it's starting to feel like she has a place to be that is hers, maybe it's the weird dream I had last night (and the fact that I actually slept through) , but I have so far not had any bad breakdowns, the house is clean, I've gotten my work done, and I even put away all the laundry.  I was even able to pull out the medical bills and reassess how we're doing as far as that goes.

 

I know things go in cycles, I may feel good through the weekend then be completely down in the dumps again on Monday, or whatever, but although I still hurt and I'm still sad this is the first day I've felt like the pain is something I will be able to carry for the rest of my life, like I was trying to haul something big by dragging it and pushing it, then all of a sudden someone handed me a backpack or a travois or something to carry it.  It's still heavy, I've still got to work, but now I know I can get it there.

 

I am becoming more and more certain that I shouldn't have any more children though, even if the testing shows that I can.   I can't do this again, it's just too much.  One loss was too many, two losses is too many, I cannot do it again.  But then, when I got pregnant with Paddy I told my husband I couldn't lose another baby, it would destroy me.  I said the same thing with Aeryn, but I am still here.  If the Depo fails me (which it shouldn't, the doctor showed me the studies and I should do fine, but I will never again NOT examine all the possibilities of anything) then I will still be here. I guess that's why they make you wait 6 months before making a big decision on sterilization, so you have time to go through all this tossing and turning it over in your head.

---

anne81
Message #678 - 06/20/08 06:34 PM

I'm glad you're starting to have good days New-Mummy.  Sunshine works magic for me.  As for choosing to have more children or not - you and you're husband will make the right decision together.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #679 - 06/20/08 10:01 PM



NewMummy -   I do hope you have a good weekend and even into next week.  Are you tracking (writing down) your overall mood for the day?  This may be helpful in the future in case you need to discuss possible depression with a professional or just to remind yourself that you've had so many 'good' days in a row.  But, you may also want to just journal a few notes about the "highs" of each day, e.g. the beautiful blooming flower you saw/grew, the smell of the rain of the passing shower, how you and your son had a fun game of Go Fish, etc.  You could put the journal on Aeryn's shelf and write any thoughts you have about her in it as well. 

Your strength and resiliency is truly amazing.  Even if you don't choose to have any more biological children, you may later want to consider fostering or adopting other children who are in need of good, loving families.  Not that it's easy and simple to do, but if you have the love and willingness to give to others, that could be an option for you.  You and your husband will make the choice that's best for you. 

I hope everyone else has a good weekend as well.  Mitten - tell coset we're thinking of her!   

---

goddessofrock
Message #680 - 06/25/08 12:59 PM



On staying regular...

 

What have you girls incorporated into your diet to stay regular?   Before getting pregnant I had a very high fiber diet. But with the intermittant nausea I have not been able to stomach a lot of veggies... especially not green veggies (which I normally love)

 

I am keeping raisins and apple sauce on hand, but there is only so much of that I can eat... what are you doing to stay regular??

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AandKinTX
Message #681 - 06/25/08 02:35 PM

What have you girls incorporated into your diet to stay regular?   Before getting pregnant I had a very high fiber diet. But with the intermittant nausea I have not been able to stomach a lot of veggies... especially not green veggies (which I normally love)

I would love to hear answer to this. 

 

Right now, I don't know from day to day what will be appealling to me.  Makes planning a menu and grocery shopping difficult.  This week cannot stand the sight, smell, or idea of bananas and I am pretty iffy on most types of meat and I definetly can't cook it. 

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dea_81
Message #682 - 06/25/08 05:08 PM

During the first trimester when everything green was revolting I relied on lots of fruit, and I really liked dried fruit, apricots and pineapple especially.   Also frosted mini wheats were a staple for a while....just be sure to get enough water also or the fiber doesn't help.

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anne81
Message #683 - 06/25/08 05:34 PM

I have no idea why green stuff is revolting - I miss loving salads.  I eat a high fiber cereal in the morning if I can stand it.  Otherwise a little benefiber mixed in with whatever I'm snacking on and colace 1-3x a day.

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goddessofrock
Message #684 - 06/28/08 04:08 PM



this nausea is ticking me off!

 

I'm on my way to accupuncture.

[Virgil Showlion]

kristi28
Message #685 - 06/29/08 03:17 AM



Goddess:  sorry to hear that you are still feeling so lousy.  My nausea got better around week 14 - hopefully yours will, too. 

 

Anyone had problems with headaches during pregnancy?  I have been getting them every afternoon and evening for the past several weeks.  I am hoping to find something that will help out some.  If they get worse, I am supposed to call the dr. about a referral to a neurologist.  Ugh. 

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New-Mummy
Message #686 - 07/02/08 02:53 PM



Right ladies - just thought you'd like to know -we have a probable why.  I'm sharing it because I was stunned and shocked, and the blood test is not standard but if you know have the same ethnic background you might want to have it looked at.

 

Thrombophilia is like the opposite of hemophilia - your blood likes to clot too much.  It's detected with a blood test.  It's generally not a problem unless you're going for major surgery, a frequent flyer, or a woman with it who is either pregnant or on combination (estrogen containing) contraceptives.  My maternal-fetal specialist spotted this because he was reading up on some kind of monkey models, it's still something very much in the research end of things, but it's estimated that 5 to 10% of the population at large is carrying at least one marker.  Mainly Scandanavian & Germanic background would be at risk, we're mostly Irish (4th generation) but (there's the but!) on each side in my direct ancestry somebody married a German who came over at the same time, and apparently both passed on the gene.  So when my mother & father had me, I was homozygous.  Normally, it's even a slight advantage to the individual organism; you cut yourself and you don't bleed very long, great idea mother nature, right?  But in this case and possibly the miscarriage (no way to be sure on that one, records are very sparse and I hadn't had any inkling of a problem) I threw a clot somewhere and it cut the blood supply to the baby (vascular insult).  So there it is.  Now I'm not telling you this to depress you, I'm telling you this because, guess what?  According to the specialist, this is really, really manageable should we decide ever to get pregnant again (I'm still not sure we will, this is a lot to process) basically, we would have me on a heparin pump just prior to and during the pregnancy.  Insurance would probably even cover this as necessary intervention now that we have a diagnosis.  This isn't something they routinely test for thanks to our messed up politically correct reporting forms that just say "Black, Hispanic, White (Non-Hispanic), Asian/Pacific Islander, etcetera."  This would be Northern European, generally Germanic.  They tell you if you're Eastern European Jewish descent to test for Tay-Sachs, don't they?  So why don't they tell you to test for this? But anyway, not to scare or depress anybody, I just wanted to let you all know so that in case you have had recurrent miscarriages for no apparent reason or something like that you might be able to have another straw to grasp at.

 

I'm glad that we know why, I still have no idea how the heck I feel about the idea of "trying again," and physically, emotionally, & financially we're in no shape to consider that for sure for quite a while; but knowing why helps a lot.  I guess that I'm really lucky to know why, a lot of women never find out why.

---

sjk279
Message #687 - 07/02/08 02:57 PM

New-Mummy - Hugs to you! An answer can help the healing process. Keep taking it one day at a time and don't rush into your decision to try again. Just give yourself time to heal.

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jdnstl
Message #688 - 07/02/08 03:37 PM

wow, new-mummy! it sounds like something off one of those medical mystery shows. it's amazing what the technology & research have led to. i'm glad that you have a possible answer & i agree with sjk - take your time deciding what to do.

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goddessofrock
Message #689 - 07/02/08 05:06 PM



good news!  Accupuncture helped with the nausea.

 

now I'm dealing with a summer cold or something... lots of liquids and another appointment with the needles tonight!

 

 

 

 

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anne81
Message #690 - 07/02/08 05:28 PM

new-mummy:  I'm glad you have an answer.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #691 - 07/02/08 07:50 PM



NewMummy - I hope you take a lot of time before you make any decisions.  And it is wonderful that you have such a competent maternal-fetal specialist that figured it out.  If you do later decide to have another, I hope he will still be there.

goddess - glad to hear the accupuncture worked!

re: constipation - dried plums has always worked nicely (but eat them at home when you have the time to go).  broccoli is great too.  Quaker Oatmeal square cereal has as much fiber as a bowl of regular oatmeal. 

I'm 38 weeks today.  I have my weekly appointment tomorrow.  Last week, I wasn't dialated, but the cervix was "soft".  Co-workers say that baby seems to have dropped somewhat and I feel a lot more pressure nowadays, especially when I'm walking around.  I'm hoping baby will wait til Monday and let me have my last holiday weekend with some relatively good sleep. 

But, if not, oh well.  My bag is packed, got the car seat base in DH's vehicle (he'll do mine before he returns to work), pre-registered, got the baby's room cleaned and set up, got the new dryer delivered, got diapers, washed the newborn clothes, and got #1's big sister gift from baby wrapped up.  I think we're as ready as we'll ever be.  Hope folks have a nice holiday weekend!

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goddessofrock
Message #692 - 07/03/08 04:49 PM



Enjoy the weekend Boos Mom!!! 

 

I haven't read all the posts, do you know if it's a boy or a girl??

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bogart
Message #693 - 07/04/08 03:39 AM

New-Mummy -- I'm glad to hear you have a clear answer, though I realize an answer can be a mixed blessing, that brings with it both a sense of hope (for the future) and of sorrow (for the past).  

Obviously you already heard this from your doctor but I did just want to chime in and say that thrombophilia is, indeed, safely treatable in pregnancy; I have struggled with infertility, which thrombophilia may also contribute to, and while that did not turn out to be my specific problem I have met a number of women along my journey (mostly in a "virtual" rather than IRL way!) who do have thrombophilia and who have had it treated safely and effectively.  

BTW I have no idea which particular thrombophilia you have, but I think in some cases doctors recommend treatment, even if just an aspirin a day, to reduce otherwise elevated risks of things like strokes -- of course this may not apply to you, but certainly worth checking on if you haven't already discussed it.  Also, as you mention, elevated estrogen increases the risks of clots and my understanding is that for this reason contraceptive methods containing estrogen (like BCPs) aren't recommended -- again, may have no relevance for you but I just thought I'd mention it.

Hope you are doing OK.

---

New-Mummy
Message #694 - 07/04/08 11:12 AM



I am on Depo now, since I'd had problems with OC in the past, and I found a new OB/GYN who agreed with me that the risks of becoming pregnant again outweighed the risk of stroke, and who actually looked at my blood pressure charts I brought in and saw that I get white-coat elevation, so she gave me the shot.  The Depo should be ok because it is just a really high dose of progestin, that's the first thing the specialist checked.

 

It is tearing me up that even something like taking aspirin could have prevented my daughter from dying, but we didn't know.  It's making me angry that you have to have either recurrent miscarriages (more than 3) or a late term death for them to start testing you for things in the name of cost effectiveness, and that while genetics has a big role in certain things like reproductive medicine, health history forms don't have a good way to report ethnic background. 

 

We have opted not to treat yet, since I'm not usually having any problems, although if I choose to become pregnant again when I go off the Depo we'll start aspirin for 6 months (just in case, as we'll still be using birth control) and then heparin pump for the pregnancy.  I just don't know that we (well, not we, I) can handle it.  My gut keeps telling me no, but I'll give it some time.

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bogart
Message #695 - 07/04/08 01:21 PM

Niew-Mummy,

Yeah, I completely, 100% agree on your point about testing.  It is horrible (that they don't test earlier, etc.).  I'm not sure, honestly, that your case would have been caught even under a relatively more aggressive testing policy (I don't know your full history, of course, but as you say they don't typically test for anything until a woman's had 3 m/c's, so catching a need to test in your case just on the basis of ethnic background -- I'm just not optimistic that this would have happened even with a very conservative/cautious doctor or  approach).  But even if "cost effectiveness" were the right standard to use (though I agree that it's not), my gut feeling is that when calculating "costs" if they looked systematically not just at losses prevented but at the real impact of losses when they occur -- the resulting grief, impact on marriages and other relationships, on older kids, even on days of lost work -- they get a very different financial (not to mention emotional) picture.

All that said, yes, it is horrible to think that your daughter's loss might have been prevented but...I hope you know that you did everything you should have to protect her.  The problem lies with your doctors and the medical system and their failure to test/advise you appropriately, not with anything you did or didn't do.  I do hope you know & believe that.

Take care of yourself.

---

boos_mom
Message #696 - 07/07/08 11:12 PM



Hey ladies!  Just popping in to say that the little guy (#2) decided to arrive on 7/3/08.  Lucky thing we got most of the big stuff together by 7/2!  I had a sneaking feeling....

Anyway, he weighed 7 lbs. 10 oz.  and 20 inches long.  The labor was pretty long (for me since I hadn't gotten much sleep on 7/2) and had back labor as well, as he was facing up.  Luckily the OB was able to turn him face down, and I only ended up pushing for about 20 minutes max.  Whew!  But, it seems that he may be a little night owl and I am really tired between him and #1's desire for attention as well. 

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #697 - 07/08/08 12:42 AM

Congrats boos_mom!  I'm glad the two of you are doing well.

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goddessofrock
Message #698 - 07/08/08 02:08 PM

Congrats Boos Mom!!!

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anne81
Message #699 - 07/09/08 04:18 AM

We went to our first ultrasound appointment today - the NT scan.  I'm very happy - the results were good, nice heartbeat, baby's measuring a little ahead (13w5d) and we even got a s.e.x guess from the ultrasound tech!  The baby wasn't cooperating so it took her almost 40 minutes to get a good nuchal measurement and halfway through she started calling the baby a him!  Then she showed us why she thought it was a boy.  Because it took so long for the baby to flip around we got to see lots of wiggles, individual hands, stomach, baby sucking on the hands, etc.

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goddessofrock
Message #700 - 07/09/08 02:13 PM



yay Anne! you must be so psyched! It seems so much more real when you see the baby moving around!!

 

you must be a week ahead of me!  My baby is due Jan 12!

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anne81
Message #701 - 07/09/08 05:35 PM

She told me my tentative due date is Jan 10 - but I'll hear from the midwife today when I go.  And it seems way more real. 

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jdnstl
Message #702 - 07/09/08 06:02 PM

congrats boos mom!!!!

[Virgil Showlion]

amomto4blessings
Message #703 - 07/09/08 07:55 PM

I didn't read all 59 pages, but I'd like to join. DH and I have been trying for a LONG time. I don't ovulate (almost never). We've been to the fertility dr and took 3 rounds of clomid. DH just changed jobs recently, so once we get back up on our feet and his insurance changes, we'll be trying injectionable fertility meds. Being that it costs about 1300.00 a month, I really hope it only takes 1 time. Is there anyone else in my infertility boat?  Good luck to everyone else here hoping to expect, expecting, and recently having a child.

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anne81
Message #704 - 07/10/08 12:11 AM

smt79 - welcome and I hope you get good news soon.

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anne81
Message #705 - 07/10/08 12:20 AM



Ok - I'm sure this has been touched on before but I'm only 14 weeks along and this baby is expensive!

 

I'm getting IV's twice a week at $180 a pop (that's just my copay!) so total it's been around $1800

my medication copays have added up to about $200

just signed up for childbirth preparation class $79

labwork copays $200

global fee copay (covers delivery dr./prenatal visits) $800 (out of 4500)

 

I haven't received my coinsurance bill yet for my ultrasound/bloodwork.  I also have to call the hospital and find out what their fees are, plus anesthesiologist, pediatrician, etc.  Not to mention I think I'd like to hire a doula because we have no female family or friends in the area, nor are they likely to come help us.  It's our first so I'd like someone there to support us both.  That will probably be around another 1k.

 

Moving on from medical bills: I've spent about $300 on new maternity clothes and bras (all bought on sale/clearance.) I don't fit in a single piece of my old clothing and I went right past the bella band stage (hopefully I can return it!).  I kind of thought I'd be able to wear my larger clothing but it's not the weight so much as how it's distributed.

 

I'm really kind of shocked: $3379 so far not including pending bills and future bills!

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #706 - 07/10/08 01:23 AM



Congratulations to the new Moms and those going the thread! 

 

New Mummy, I'm glad you have an answer.  Is this thrombofilia (sp?) related to the Factor IV thing?  My cousins who have a family history of blood clots had to do daily shots to the tummy while pregnant because of that. 

 

Anne, I'm almost embarrassed to post this after reading your post - DH and I were talking about the cost of the pregnancy, baby stuff and maternity clothes - we're guessing the total spent by us is about $1100-$1300.  $200 on classes and copays, $500+ finishing off the registry, $100 on books, $50-$75 on prescriptions and vitamins and about $250-$300 on maternity clothes and nursing b.ras.  I'd have to go back and breakdown the spreadsheet to see what else was spent though. 

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kristi28
Message #707 - 07/10/08 01:46 AM



smt79 - I'll be thinking happy thoughts for you.  Hope to hear that you have good news soon! 

anne - congrats and how exciting for you!  I must admit that I am jealous - I'm almost 19wk and we won't find out the s.e.x until a week from Monday.  I'm getting very impatient.

 

---

goddessofrock
Message #708 - 07/10/08 02:05 PM

FYI~~ If anyone is constipated, has a summer cold, nausea, or low energy like i had for most of the 1st trimester, I highly recommend accupuncture. I've been a couple of times in the last 2 weeks and it is REALLY helping a lot. Especially the last 2 days. The nausea was gone after the 1st session.

[Virgil Showlion]

anne81
Message #709 - 07/10/08 06:20 PM



goddessofrock - I'm really glad the acupuncture is working for you. I've been doing it myself and forgot to add it to my expenses!  I find it really relaxing.

 

kristi28 - hope the time flies till your appointment!

 

wisconsin beth - if I hadn't had this unusual morning sickness I'm sure my bills would have been closer to yours.  I'm just surprised at how quickly it adds up!

 

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maya2006
Message #710 - 07/10/08 09:24 PM



All, I have a question - I am due to deliver in another 2 months- yep- time is flying by fast- hope I get through the summer ok...

My question is : Does insurance cover breast pumps?. I am planning to take only 2 months off after delivery  . Thinking of continuing pumping the milk for the baby after I join work - what are good breast pumps out and there and do you know any covered by Insurance

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New-Mummy
Message #711 - 07/10/08 10:52 PM



Usually insurance won't cover the pumps unless there is a medical reason the baby can't just breastfeed (ie, preemie needing a tube or something), in which case they may be covered under "durable medical equipment," at least that's what we had found out from Blue Cross when we were investigating.

 

However, some FSA/HSAs do allow you to purchase those as an eligible expense, so you might check into that as well.

 

The hand pumps are cheap, but from what I've heard they're extremely frustrating to use (at the very least) compared to an electric.

 

Another option is renting a pump from a medical supply, I think around here they were running about $40 a month.  Some of those are quite nice and actually have insulated carrying cases and such.

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anne81
Message #712 - 07/10/08 11:16 PM



I'm curious - do babies switch back and forth between a breast and a bottle pretty easily or do you have to do one exclusively?  Is it best to start early?  Will your babies take a bottle from you or just someone without b.o.o.b.s?  It would be nice if DH could take some late-night feedings. 

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New-Mummy
Message #713 - 07/11/08 12:39 AM



There are some really good bottles now that are supposedly not bad switching back and forth,  we tried some of the Dr. Browns but my son just got them during a time frame where he had labs which required him to be fasting so he was only getting water in them. In other words, I'm not sure I can tell you definitively. He seemed to take bottles from my husband better than he would take them from me, I'm sure because he could smell the milk on me and knew that wasn't what was in the bottles.

 

My neighbor has been switching back and forth between breast and a soft cup, it's some special kind she said works fine, and even with the babysitters and such.  Her daughter's 1 year old.  I think she told me she started that around 4 months or so.

 

My cousin's baby, poor thing, supposedly wouldn't take breastmilk at all after they started supplementing formula in bottles, but I don't know if that's a good indicator or not because there were other things going on there.

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goddessofrock
Message #714 - 07/11/08 02:18 PM



Maya~~

 

One of my friends had a baby recently. The doctor wrote a note to her insurance or a prescription saying she had inverted nipples and they sent her a breast pump for FREE.

[Virgil Showlion]

boos_mom
Message #715 - 07/13/08 02:17 AM



maya - I did get my OB to write a note for a breast pump (small, manual one) to assist with the plugged milk ducts.  Our medical flex spending account did reimburse me for the cost.  I think NewMummy is correct in that it would need to be a medical issue regarding baby's health to get health insurance to cover it.

anne - current material suggests that most babies can go between bottle and breast after successful breastfeeding establishment within two  weeks.  However, you will probably still need to wake up during the night to pump the milk even if DH takes a "feeding" because you will be pretty sore for a few nights until your milk adjusts.  And, if you're like me, you're just so paranoid about trying to keep up enough milk for the baby that it's almost blasphemy to willingly reduce the milk supply.  Another caveat is that some babies become "lazy" suckers once they are accustomed to bottles.  So, that might lead to eventual self-weaning because they'd prefer not to "work" to get the breastmilk out.  Good luck though! 

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes!  "Popeye", baby's nickname, and I are doing well.  Still rather tired.  DH is really helping out with #1 while I do much of caring for baby.  Of course, baby sleeps better during the day and is up and down at night, but he can sleep like 3-4 hours already!  Which is great, but the breasts may get full and sore waiting for baby to wake up.  I may start pumping soon, but I'm too tired to do it just yet.  And then of course, my luck will be that baby changes his sleeping schedule and I'll be out of milk when he'll want to feed.  Grrrr.....

---

bogart
Message #716 - 07/13/08 03:04 AM

smt79 I too am in the infertile "club," now parenting after infertility.  My DH had a vasectomy (and failed reversal) which landed us in IVF land.  So I can empathize, and feel free to bounce any questions my way.  It's expensive and stressful.  Good luck to you.

For those asking questions on breastpumps...it is possible to buy good used Medela pumps in my area off Craigslist for around $100 or $150.  You can boil (my choice) or buy new the parts that touch the milk to ensure they are sterile, and you're good to go.  This is what I did.  Also, I'm one of a number of new moms at my work and our experiences have really run the gamut.  I had supply issues, but a baby who readily switched from breast to bottle and back.  One of my co-workers DD won't take a bottle AT ALL, and she has to go home at lunch.  My advise, honestly, would be to be flexible and prepared to seek help.  Breastfeeding is wonderful if it is something you want to do but, despite what you'd think, it often doesn't come easily to mom or baby.  

Anne81 -- if you (or your DH) have medical flex, it may be worth looking into what they will cover for next year.  I learned too late that mine would have covered a doula (I had a doula, which was great, but unfortunately missed the flex benefit on that expense).  I realize that probably won't help with your expenses this year, but it may help next.  I'm sorry about your nausea; that sounds brutal.  I hope it improves.  Also, I had good luck with maternity clothes (though I should add I'm not very stylish!) at Goodwill and similar resale stores -- may be an option for saving some $$$.

---

anne81
Message #717 - 07/13/08 05:41 AM



Thanks boos_mom for the reality check!  I hope to breastfeed/pump but DH and my brother were allergic to breastmilk and a couple of my friends said it was unbelievably painful to breastfeed so I'll try to take it as it comes!

 

Thanks for the tip bogart - unfortunately DH and I both have private insurance so no flex!  I spoke to a friend of mine and she's going to bring over a huge box of maternity clothes - I'm not too worried about the stylish part.  I've been living in jammies so anything is an improvement.  I'm really glad you liked your doula.  I'm 14 weeks now and can get out of bed for a couple of hours at a time so big improvement!  Oddly enough I'm more worried about what will happen if I get pregnant again - I can't imagine feeling this way and having a toddler.

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bogart
Message #718 - 07/13/08 06:33 PM

Anne81, bummer on the flex, sorry about that.  Great to hear your friend is helping you out with clothes, though (I borrowed a bunch, too -- in addition to the Goodwill ones!).  On breastfeeding -- I found it pretty much brutally painful the first week but was glad I stuck with it in spite of that, so if the allergies don't turn out to be a problem and if you want to, I'd just say it's worth sticking with it for awhile to see if you can get to where it "works" -- overall it was a wonderful part of the first year for me, the early days notwithstanding.  However, we are also fortunate to live in a place and time where there are other good options (i.e. formula and safe water) available, so if you find it doesn't work out, well, no biggie.

Glad you are feeling a little better -- hope the trend continues!

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boos_mom
Message #719 - 07/13/08 09:36 PM



re: breastfeeding - I have found it to be extremely painful in the beginning, having cracked, bleeding nipples.  It is pure obstinance that keeps me going (and I'm not a taurus).  The first couple of weeks are the hardest (and most painful).  If you get through it, it does become much less painful once the initial latch and let-down.  At least, this time around, I knew what to expect and my breasts were a little more prepared for the suckling so they seemed to have recovered a little quicker than the first time around.  (note: I also do have sensitive skin and some weird milkduct tissue thing going on which makes everything more painful.) 

I actually think in the long run, breastfeeding and bottle-feeding cost about the same.  If you breastfeed, expect your food bills to rise, as you will be ravenous once most of the baby weight is gone.  Plus, your energy levels will be pretty exhausted between caring for baby and making milk, so you may do take-out more often or skimping on (or paying to outsource) other household duties. 

re: buying a pump for the return to work - if your workplace is not very family-friendly, you may end up drying up faster than you hoped.  If you don't have a quiet, private place to pump in peace and at regular times, your milk production usually plummets quickly.  So, something to consider before spending a lot of money for a pump.  You may want to rent one first to see if it'll be worth it or see if you can borrow a friend's one.  I used one from a relative and just got new parts for the milk stuff at a baby boutique place. 

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amomto4blessings
Message #720 - 07/13/08 10:33 PM



Thank you everyone for the welcomes!

Bogart- How long did it take you guys in IVF land to have your little one? I won't ask the cost, because I've done that research! YIKES!

I am hoping once we get the insurance all set, we can get pg with follistim. Congrats again too all the new mommies and soon to be mommies!

[Virgil Showlion]

bogart
Message #721 - 07/14/08 12:40 AM

smt79,

You shouldn't take my story as typical...if your problem is just anovulation and you don't need IVF, you'll almost certainly have a much faster journey than we did.  As for how long, depends how you count...the failed vasectomy reversal was about 1.5 years before our first IVF (you have to wait awhile to see if the reversal worked) and then we did 4 IVFs over 3 years.  A lot of the delaying was finances, both in terms of figuring out where the money was going to come from and in terms of deciding whether or not it was worth continuing to try.  But, yes, Follistim sounds good (something only a fellow infertile would say, I suspect); the needles they use now are so much easier to use than what I started with, and I could hardly feel them going in -- hopefully you'll have the same experience (here's a tip, actually:  they overfill all sizes of Follistim vials by the same amount -- so assuming similar ratios, price-wise, you actually do better buying the smaller vials -- i.e. if 900 units costs 3*300 units, 3 * 300 units actually contains more product because of the overfill -- does that make sense?).  Anyway, I do consider myself once an infertile always in infertile -- infertility has changed me forever, in many ways for the better (much more appreciative of my blessings), but once you are a mom, what it cost to get there won't matter at all.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #722 - 07/14/08 08:22 PM



YOu know, I finally get why people go out and buy minivans after they have their first child.  It's the amount of c.rap you feel you need to take with you.  DH and I took our 10 week old DD up North this weekend to the trailer my parents own.  We couldn't fit in all in the truck of the Focus and ended up leaving the stroller at home.  Now, there are a few things we can and will do to pack lighter for the next trip up there, but honestly, I'm pretty sure our next vehicle will be either another truck, w/ extended cab; a minivan; or some sort of SUV.  And we'll probably be looking next summer for it.  

 

As for breastfeeding and pumps, I love my Pump in Style Advanced.  They've being discountined by Medela, so you may be able to find them cheaper soon.  I bought mine at Babies R Us using my "10% complete the registry discount" and a 15% off 1 item coupon, which made the price about $217 + tax.  And my Mom ended up paying for it as it was the present I wanted most - my sisters were telling her to get me a glider with matching footstool, which would have run about $500.  I'm not having any problems with breastfeeding now, but the first couple of weeks were rough, between trying to get a solid latch by DD and being engorged.  If you see breastfeeding classes offered by your hospital or doctor, I would take them.  As a first time Mom, I found them helpful and worth the $20 per class. 

 

Beth

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goddessofrock
Message #723 - 07/15/08 04:36 PM

An SUV because you have 1 baby? Does anyone else think that is a bit extreme??

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New-Mummy
Message #724 - 07/15/08 05:17 PM



Beth, that feeling of having to carry everything with you will lessen a bit as you get used to how much stuff the baby actually needs.  Then he/she will hit the next developmental stage, and you'll go into crazy back-breaking carrying too much stuff for a bit, then you'll figure it out, and be ok.  I finally hit the point where I figured out if I carried 2 diapers for each hour we'd be gone on day trips, plus 2 for in case, I'd usually come out all right, that I didn't have to carry the entire 60 pack of diapers with me in the bag. Because I did that at first.  Now I'm carrying extra outfits for him and a baggie for wet ones again though because we're (ATTEMPTING) to start potty training, and sometimes he freaks out at the big toilet if it's a different colour or something like that and we don't get him up on it in time.  But yeah, at first you try to take the whole nursery with you, that's pretty normal.

 

When my son was very small, I found I did better carrying him in a pack on me than trying to tote the stroller around. Then we had a hiking frame someone had given us but we used it all over the place. Now that he's a big old toddler, if we're going somewhere, it's actually more necessary to take the stroller or a wagon for extended trips because he'll simply wear himself out if we're gone all day and he's getting too heavy to carry.  For things like grocery shopping, I have to have a cart anyway so he can ride there if he gets too tired, so I don't bother with the stroller if that's all we're doing.  We were driving a Metro, btw, and now I've got to fit things in the cab of a mini truck, so I am right with you on the cramped conditions.

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Wisconsin Beth
Message #725 - 07/15/08 05:48 PM



I know, it seems absurb.  But DH and his brother co-own a boat, so we'd be replacing my truck (13 miles to the gallon and has both gas and oil leak issues) with something that can pull the boat as well as cart all the baby stuff around. 

We had 1 large suitcase for DH and me; 1 cooler; the pack n play; 1 carryon for DD carrying diapers, wipes, clothes and spitup towels; my pump; 2 lawn chairs; the laptop case; and a bag of shoes/odds and ends that we remembered at the last second.  Oh plus 2 pillows and 1 portage gym/mat thing to test out before it went to Mom's (she's doing daycare when I go back to work.)

So next trip will have a smaller cooler, no portage gym/mat thing and probably a smaller bag for DD.  I can't get DH to pack lighter, I've been trying for 6+ years!  As for the rest of it, I'm not sure how much we can leave behind.  The laptop, maybe.  My pump, maybe.  It's funny, I always thought I'd be one of the moms that doesn't cart a ton of baby stuff around because I *know* that a lot of it isn't necessary and yet here I am.  Sigh.  Hopefully practice will help, as you mentioned New Mummy. 

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New-Mummy
Message #726 - 07/15/08 05:52 PM

You know, it sounds dumb, but one thing I've found helps is to use several lunchboxes for the things that must stay cold instead of a large cooler. They give the silly things to my husband at work all the time so we do own an assortment of insulated lunchboxes, not sure everyone else has a plethora just tossed under the counter like we do.  I can tuck them into tight spaces a little more easily than trying to find a place for a large one.