Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:23:48 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #367 - 04/03/08 08:05 PM
No, you have to "pre-check-in". You call the hospital admissions and give them all of your medical insurance & patient info, so that all you have to do when it's "time" is show up and you don't need to bother with any paperwork. Usually, you do it a couple of weeks to a month before you're due.
boos_mom Message #368 - 04/03/08 09:09 PM
biblio - here's an older thread where folks discussed what baby items were helpful and not-so-helpful. I know there were a few more threads before that one but can't seem to find it.
coset Message #369 - 04/03/08 11:03 PM
cosett, I'm due May 15th - 6 weeks to go! I'm really hoping she'll be a week or two early, to be honest. I'm tired of being pregnant, so she's probably be a couple of weeks late, just on general principle!
Beth -- way cool. Yer due on my bday!!! I am due May 17th.
Lord, we haven't even started with "The Bag" yet. We did get a handout from the birth class on what to pack. I'm more concerned with getting a car, getting the baby's room finished and getting the Thank You notes out from the shower!
ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too funny! We just got the van yesterday (officially) and I have barely done baby's room (sharing with DD but there is much to do!!!).................no showers with #3 I guess. ha! They just assume ya have everything I guess............except this was a bit of a surprise and I had given many things away. WHEW! LOL
I had contractions on Friday night for about 40 minutes and strong back pain......freaked me out totally!! So then I started thinking about The Bag.
coset Message #370 - 04/03/08 11:11 PM
Since this one is unexpected I was really set to be done from the beginning truth be told. I may be stopping by a mexican restaurant on the way home from the hospital for a margarita! This pregnancy just wasn't as easy as my other two. I am hoping she comes 2 weeks early. Now we will see what really happens.!
Mitten: okay that is it.....we are twins............(BTW: I'll try the email again)
i want a double shot coffee shake from my fav local coffee shop
that is one vice I have NOT given up is my coffee.......have to admit it's true. OF course I only make it to SB about once a week or once every 2 weeks......
No, you have to "pre-check-in". You call the hospital admissions and give them all of your medical insurance & patient info, so that all you have to do when it's "time" is show up and you don't need to bother with any paperwork. Usually, you do it a couple of weeks to a month before you're due.
Yeah that is what we are supposed to do here.....they are technically different entities so they need to be sure they have "spoken" to one another....this also gives the hospital a heads up (in addition to paperwork) of what you want to do during labor....balls, shower, doula, water birth, etc. We are supposed to do it at 28 weeks.....ahem....yeah....ummmm.............
MittenKitten Message #371 - 04/04/08 02:22 PM
cosett: Hmmmm methinks you are running a little behind on that one. LOL. Of course the only thing it really does is make it where you don't have to stop to register before getting to the birthing ward. Silly hospitals wanting insurance info. Of course they may have changed my numbers after I preregistered so we will see what happens. My doctor's office had a form I just filled out and sent in. I think it was even pre paid postage but can't remember, I did it since I knew I would forget it I didn't do it right away. If you e-mailed me I still didn't get it. Try sheacody @ hotmail.com (without the spaces of course.)
Heard from the Spec ed dept, DS#2 qualifies for Developmental delay and speech. So I get to schedule meetings when I could be in labor. Am hoping to be home by that time. The nice thing is since he is under 3 everything will take place at our house so we don't have to leave. I am trying to research the whole thing as I know about the special ed labels and paperwork but nothing about the teaching methods to help him get on track. I am really hoping with the early intervention by school age we should have most of the issues taken care of and he will be where other kids his age are if not ahead. So hard when you look at them and KNOW they are smart BUT they won't do things the other kids their age do. Now my other son I am going to have to make sure the district can challenge him as he is teaching himself to read and spell before kindergarten. ACK!
Sorry for the rant, thanks for letting me vent.
Wisconsin Beth Message #372 - 04/04/08 03:22 PM
Cosett's not the only one running behind. Last Sat. we're at the class and they start talking about having a peditrician already. DH and I looked at each and pretty much went "WHAT? Already?" lol.
I'm not a coffee drinker, but I've missed alcohol the last 6 months (I didn't know I was pregnant the first 8 weeks or so).
Ok, here's the list for the "Goody Bag", per Aurora. They're one of the bigger health providers around here. Some of this is to help with labor positions, I guess. Most of this would NOT have occurred to me. And I'm not dragging 8 bags into the hospital either! lol. - 2 or more bed pillows - CD player with your favorite music - hand fan - lip balm - food for support person - cards, books, videos and any other time-passers - pair of socks - focal point - tennis balls in a sock - camera and film or video recorder - toiletries for mom and support person - slippers and bathrobe - change of clothes for support person - going-home clothes for mom and baby - reading and writing material - change for vending machines - watch or clock with second hand - bra and panties The class specifically suggested mouthwash or mouthwash strips, as mom and coach will likely be in close contact and fresh breath WILL definitely be appreciated! Beth
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:24:13 GMT -5
MittenKitten Message #373 - 04/04/08 04:13 PM
Beth: I was just packing a t-shirt for DF this morning LOL. I think I am going to pack a deck of cards also.
Wisconsin Beth Message #374 - 04/04/08 06:32 PM
I found out last week that the hospital provides wireless access in the patient rooms, so the laptop is coming with me! There's little fridges in the rooms too, so if DH wants to pack food, he'll have a place to store it.
They also said that if we want to use a birthing ball, to bring our own, as they only have 2 and make no promises of one being available. I'm going to test one out this weekend at class to see what I think of them.
boos_mom Message #375 - 04/04/08 06:38 PM
Last Sat. we're at the class and they start talking about having a peditrician already. DH and I looked at each and pretty much went "WHAT? Already?"
Beth, I didn't call around for pediatricians until the last month, and our 1st choice didn't have an opening to even MEET with us for a couple of months after I was due! Our 2nd choice scheduled the meet&greet, but I ended up giving birth before our appointment. At the hospital, they asked who our pediatrician was, so I said "we were supposed to meet with Dr. X on Tuesday...." The hospital pediatricians checked baby out and the staff sent the birth records to our pediatrician (who turns out not to have privileges at that hospital anyway, so she wouldn't have come to the hospital to check out baby). We just went to see our pediatrician a few days out of the hospital so she could look over baby herself.
sjk279 Message #376 - 04/04/08 06:39 PM
Beth - my sister just have DN (darling nephew) #2 this week. She used a birthing ball for the first time and was greatly impressed at how much it helped. So you might want to invest in one just in case and not open it (or however it comes!) just in case you have one available at the hospital and can return the one you buy.
boos_mom Message #377 - 04/04/08 06:41 PM
They also said that if we want to use a birthing ball, to bring our own, as they only have 2 and make no promises of one being available. I'm going to test one out this weekend at class to see what I think of them.
I actually found the birthing ball to be very helpful. Of course, I ended up taking the epidural later. Not sure if you can actually "figure out" that you'd like the ball when you're not really in labor. But, I certainly was open to trying it out at the hospital when in labor. Luckily, our hospital had enough.
Holly Smith Message #378 - 04/04/08 07:56 PM
Don't go too overboard on the registry. Put the stuff that you need, but don't expect that everyone will buy everything off your registry or buy what you really need. Don't count on other people to buy things for you, because they'll just buy what they want to buy. I got tons and tons of baby clothes at my baby shower. Luckily, I had planned on this happening and needed baby clothes.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:24:27 GMT -5
Holly Smith Message #379 - 04/04/08 07:59 PM
I had my childbirth class and hospital tour last week. They do food like room service, so DH will be able to buy vouchers downstairs and can order meals with me. Cool!
The labor and delivery rooms have showers and they'll give you a birthing ball to take in if you want one, but they do not have bathtubs. Dangit! I love baths.
coset Message #380 - 04/04/08 09:18 PM
aurrrrrgggggghhhhhhh............I have been an emotional mess the past 24 hours.........I am angry one minute..........weepy the next.........overwhelmed one minute and 10 minutes later I am fine and vice versa. ugh. No, make that double ugh.
sorry -- just needed to vent. I really just want to whine for awhile but I think I would run out of posting room. ha.
Wisconsin Beth Message #381 - 04/04/08 09:38 PM
The labor and delivery rooms have showers and they'll give you a birthing ball to take in if you want one, but they do not have bathtubs. Dangit! I love baths.
hehe, we've got whirlpool tubs in all the l&d rooms and in some of the reg. rooms, but you have to have your doctor ok it first. It's on the list of stuff to discuss with my ob/gyn on Monday (along with peds.)
Go ahead and post it all out cosett.
coset Message #382 - 04/05/08 12:23 AM
(sigh) That is part of the problem.........if I could articulate it it might be easier (how sad is that?)........is it possible to just PMS while pregnant?!?!?!?! grrrrr.....
I think I am just overwhelmed in some part due to stuff around here....not all baby stuff....some medical (DH), some house, some kids, etc....I can't seem to do much around here physically compared to the last two times (last time I remodeled the lower level) and I am trying to figure out this whole investing thing which, quite frankly, gives me a complete and utter headache and breakdown each time I try. I am pretty good with money and we are almost out of debt (which was due to a 6 month layoff and no medical insurance which around here is a mess) and I am pretty good at not just flushing $$ down the drain..........so I am starting to look at investing which we have basically put off 'cept for 401k......I have tried reading the investing boards and so on and it soooooooo over my head..........I have tried to meet with investing people (but I can't find one that doesn't have a cow that we tithe and all I hear is how we should take all the cash and invest it...sorry...no).....and I have looked at the "easy books"...........all these terms I can't seem to keep straight...and I don't want to make a costly mistake, etc. I just get paralyzed from it..........add that to a little one that I am not mentally ready for (ha) I don't think............and other stuff like DH traveling a lot........I just feel stuck.......really tired and irritated. okay...so that might partially sum it up without taking 16 posts to spill it.............I know it all works out. I know that one takes it day by day and only do so much and so on and so on....but seriously.......I just feel blach. (wahhh wahhh wahhh wahh) I know there are bigger fish to get upset over.............especially when I just skim the surface here....but there is only so much I feel like typing....kwim?
MittenKitten Message #383 - 04/05/08 12:32 AM
Cosett: Did you try to e-mail me? (I got it, I got it ) Put the money into ING for now. If dealing with a 401K put it in a money market account or a fairly safe one for now and deal with learning it after you have the baby.
I feel the same way with this one. Worked up until my births for both other kids, this one just isn't the same. Plus always have tons of other stuff going on. Last pregnancy DF had ear surgery a month before I had the baby and mom had shoulder replacement surgery 3 weeks before. So I am 9 months pregnant lugging her 24 packs of pop around. This time the kids are getting me. Between illnesses, special ed eval, hives...... Oh and renters not paying rent or taking my calls. ARG. So I hear ya. And feel for you. With the first you can just experience being pregnant, rest when you want/need to. This one I never get away to do any of that.
coset Message #384 - 04/05/08 01:59 AM
MK: remind me again what a ING is? () Yeah we do the 401K thing for DH's work....and we go beyond the match which I am thinking we should stop at the match and invest the rest elsewhere (Roth IRA?).....it doesn't seem that the match is all that much. I don't want to save for the kids' college yet until we are maxing out our own stuff first...especially since it feels like we are starting so late in the game........we have a MM account that is for longer term savings with about 2 months expenses in it -- oh and the propane bill so we can earn something on it while we wait for August each year.....so maybe just keep putting it in there......... I think I just struggle with knowing where to go for information.......every type of research we have done has a different path that is "the best" or most "financially beneficial"......blah blah blah (lol)......I am happy to tuck money away if I new were to do it. Yeah stuff just piles up after awhile..........the first preg I worked 60-70 a week and the 2nd one I finished remodeling the lower level myself and hug doors, trim and so on....so I always figured the 3rd one (which we thought we wouldn't do) I would actually relax and enjoy the process....maybe because this one caught me so off guard or because I haven't been well during the whole thing.....anemic, winded and so on.....and I used to weight lift 3x a week and do Pilates/yoga once a week. I was feeling great beforehand --- even with the fibro. ha! Yeah the "other kids" do make rest a challenge.....#2 for sure. He is a total spitfire!! LOL
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:24:52 GMT -5
coset Message #385 - 04/05/08 02:04 AM
Beth- I had internet last time with #2. I traded coupons while I sat there.....it was a slow process. I'll meet ya on here then if we're both in there! LOL!!!!!! Man if there was a fridge in my room for DH's stuff I am afraid I would go get it and eat it!!! I was sooo hungry last time with #2 after 2 days of not eating....I hate those rules!! I think I am bringing stuff for me this time!!! hee hee
So what are the benefits of a birthing ball?
MittenKitten Message #386 - 04/05/08 08:05 PM
Cosett: ING is an internet bank that has money market accounts. Usually the rate is much better then the brick and mortar banks around here.
Gotta go help a child.
MittenKitten Message #387 - 04/07/08 04:30 PM
How is everyone doing today?
I don't know about anyone else but everytime I read New Mummy's thread I cry. I wish I could share my baby with her in some way but I am very glad she had a wonderful support system once at the hospital the one doctor excluded obviously.
Personally I have been really busy between last minute baby things and dealing with Real Estate deals that are popping up now. At least everyone knows my situation and is cool with it. I will be sure to have a fully charged cell phone and the charger at the hospital. Now if they have wireless internet I would be totally set.
Susan in Texas Message #388 - 04/07/08 04:34 PM
I used a birthing ball with #3 until the anesthesiologist came. I was surprised how much it helped! I could roll around on it and it helped me not to tense my whole body around the labor pains, which means that on the whole I hurt a lot less. You can move on a sturdy squishy ball in ways that a chair just does not accomodate.
Susan in Texas Message #389 - 04/07/08 04:41 PM
Sign up for childbirth classes if at all possible. Take your mom or a friend if DH can't go. There are two reasons to go: they will verbally walk you through the process of childbirth, which lessens your fear of freaking out when it is actually happening to you. Second, there is almost always a hospital tour involved. Believe me, you will want to know exactly where you are going and how to get there BEFORE you start feeling like you have a boa constrictor attacking you.
The reason to preregister at the hospital is similar: if there are any issues with insurance coverage, they can get solved before the baby is trying to be born. And again, filling out a zillion forms is NOT something you want to be wasting your time on when your show is getting on the road.
Susan in Texas Message #390 - 04/07/08 04:55 PM
Have you talked with anyone from your church about financial advice? That might be a good source of referrals for advisors who accept tithing as a part of your financial plan. Thrivent Financial for Lutherans is a whole institution, although I don't know if you have to be a registered (?) Lutheran to take part. Their web address is thrivent.com.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:25:05 GMT -5
coset Message #391 - 04/07/08 05:15 PM
Susan: thanks! We actually do use Thrivent for some things but not investing. The guy in our area really isn't that great on "keeping current" with clients unless you purposely try to stay in his face.........he isn't the most organized creature I don't think. LOL We are talking about going back and meeting with him for investing things too but I am a little uneasy about it.....not so certain that he actually specializes in it...kwim? So then we wonder if he is just good at insurance or if he actually knows which investments are best, etc. I totally agree however that at least that would be one area where the financial guy wouldn't raz us about tithing as part of our plan.
Wisconsin Beth Message #392 - 04/07/08 05:23 PM
What I liked about the birthing ball is that it relieved the pressure on my pelvic floor. Here's a link for one - pregnancy.about.com/od/laborbasics/ss/ballpositions.htm I strained the muscles there last week by sitting in a stupid postion while teaching a class (and being tense.) I sat on the birthing ball and was painfree. There's a birthing ball out there somewhere with my name on it. I'm also planning on using it in the shower. It's too hard to get in and out of the tub for baths, but I get tired standing sometimes, but don't want to get out. DH realized during class that a higher water bill for a slightly more relaxed wife is a small price to pay!
My understanding about Thrivent is that you or your spouse have to be Lutheran. DH is Lutheran and we'll be meeting this summer with someone there to talk about life insurance, as DH already has a policy there.
We also had some luck in finding cheaper used cars that seem reliable (still doing research) this weekend. We're thinking that maybe we can pay cash for a car after all. It would pretty much wipe out the MM account, but I'll be paid for the entire leave and DH is planning on taking 3 weeks unpaid and then working fulltime all summer, so we can rebuild a hefty chunk of it then. Then we'll only be financing new siding/windows, which has to be done before next winter for the baby as we've got a REALLY cold house most winters.
I brought videos and reading material but didn't use it at all. I slept through most of the delivery and with them bringing the baby to nurse every 3 hours, I ended up spending the 2 days a the hospital eating, sleeping and nursing.
By the way, some hospitals have the resources to syncronize meals, medicine and bringing the baby to nurse but you have to ask. If you keep your mouth shut, they'll be waking you every hour.
Wisconsin Beth Message #394 - 04/07/08 08:51 PM
Good to know, if I ever get to that point. I'm so tired of being pregnant.
coset Message #395 - 04/08/08 04:22 AM
Beth- hang in there hun!!! We are almost done...........!!!!
boos_mom Message #396 - 04/08/08 04:40 AM
Well, I am feeling quite large and uncomfortable, and I've still got 3 more months to go! I don't know what the heck I'll look like at 9 months, since I feel like I'm 8 months pregnant already... well, except for no edema at this point! I'm already starting to waddle. Gotta go walking more often, which should be easier since the days are getting longer here.
Anyone have a Joovy Caboose UltraLight stroller? If so, what's your feedback? DH really wants to get it. I would prefer the cheaper BabyTrend Sit N Stand. But, I'm not sure if either one will really be beneficial, since some of the reviews I've read say they are hard to manuever with the kids on it. Hopefully, I should have the baby alone in a regular stroller most of the time. It's just on the weekends, or when preschool is out that I'd probably use the tandem strollers by myself w/o DH around to push it. I'm only about 5'1". Or, anyone have other recommendations for duo strollers for a 3 yo and an infant?
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:25:30 GMT -5
coset Message #397 - 04/08/08 02:14 PM
Boos: Thanks for mentioning about the strollers......I have been wondering about that as well....we will have a 2.5yo and newborn...hmmm.....dunno how that will work yet either........
I totally get the waddling.....quack quack quack!!!
Hope everyone is doing well today -- I am just dragging. DS was to have "school" about 10 minutes ago....lol...hmmmm.........I haven't even taken a shower yet.........not been sleeping well still and just not inspired to do anything.
Little bummed too since I was to sell a big item from Craigslist and the guy changed his mind yesterday after emailing off and on forever and then keep switching the pick up date!! ugh. I was really hoping to have that chunk of cash for some things....and to take a bit out to go to "girls' night" tonight. A group of friends try to stay in touch once a month about 45 minutes from here....so gas, sitter and meal adds up a bit....I haven't gone since last fall and was hoping to sneak down there today but no such luck I think.
On a good note, DD's room is really coming along so that is a good note. Hoping to move crib to her room when DH returns this week.....already did her loft bed and bookshelves so that is a huge bit of progress around here.................once crib is out of DS room and his new bed is set up then I think I just need to go through all the newborn stuff we have and I am basically ready........well, and pack the bag.........hmmmmm......register with hospital.............and......................LOL
Off to clean up and run some errands......Coborns has a cereal deal and we need some produce, etc........have a great day all!
coset Message #398 - 04/08/08 03:06 PM
What do you all like to have on hand for when baby comes?
Obviously diapers and wipes!
But what else? I like to get the Cottonelle (or whatever brand I can get a deal on) wipes, tucks pads, extra pads, extra witch hazel, nursing pads, etc.
I am trying to be sure the freezer and pantry is stocked.
I forget what I used to soak with in the tub........I think it was chamomile tea bags -- but I am losing brain cells by the nano-second so I don't recall.
I am hoping to buy some new nursing bras....whooo-hoo! I found one for night time -- NO hooks or wires or nothing. I am thrilled!
what else do you like to have? Speaking of nursing.....I thought I saw some cool looking circular gel type pads to help with pain due to milk, etc. Anyone seen these before or used them?? Trying to recall where I saw them....
MittenKitten Message #399 - 04/08/08 05:52 PM
I am 9 months and feel like an elephant! I waddle, can't sleep, need to go to the bathroom all the time oh and have acid reflux all the time. Oh and this thing called life keeps at me, it just won't let me be.
Coset: Where did you get your nighttime nursing bras?
On hand: I like to have easy food, or if we are having visitors I will have them pick up a Papa Murphy's pizza. Hmmmm I really don't know, stuff for my bottom, oh and don't forget to take a laxative after the birth for awhile. The doctor neglected to tell me this last time and it was NOT fun! Hospital sent me home with some tucks pads. I also like to have on hand extra pads, towel to sleep on so I don't leak all over the sheets, pump. (If you plan on pumping at some point start pumping right away. I did with DS#1 and had no problems producing breast milk while pumping. DS#2 nursed so I didn't bother to pump and when I did try I could not get anything when I did. He ate plenty when he nursed but pumping wouldn't work, don't know why.) Probably TMI but oh well.
Stollers, whenI had DS#2 DS#1 was almost 3, so he was getting old enough he could walk. When he had to ride I would put him up by the handles facing me, worked for the short amount of time we needed it.
Don't know what I will do this time as DS#2 is nowhere near ready to give up the stoller or listen so I need to strap him in somehow. I had a friend who had the one where one child can sit and face you, she said it was really hard to use and took up a lot of space when folded. Of course she is a little on the picky side. For awhile I plan on putting the baby in the snuggli and keeping DS#2 in the stroller. I really do not want to spend that money!
bibliomaniagrl Message #400 - 04/08/08 06:53 PM
I have to jump in the the stroller thing...I'm trying to decide what to do. One of my friends insists that we need a double stroller (we are having DD in August and will try for another baby 6 months later. Thus, we would have two little ones in the space of 2 years more or less. She thinks that it would be better just to get a double one and be done with it. Any thoughts?).
My additional concern is I'm 5'8 and my husband is 6'7. My sister's stroller (which unfortunately she still needs for her little one that is on the way) was rather short for us but considered average. We don't want to spend a ton, but we also don't want backaches from having to bend down to push a stroller.
As far as what you need on hand...I'll have to get that info from you all as this is my first. I have NO CLUE! Though I am planning to try to freeze some meals (or make a serious run to Trader Joes) in advance so we don't have to worry about too much cooking.
I'm jealous of all of you who are so close. I'm only 5 months and ready for this to be done. It probably doesn't help that I've had some very insensitive people come up and say I'm huge. I have a number of friends who are a couple weeks to months more pregnant and I'm similar to some of them. However, I'm a lot taller and my husband certainly is (he's thin and I'm average) taller than all of my the other fathers. I've only gained 10 pounds so it's not like I've been packing it on. Everyone carries different I'm just getting really sick of having to remind people of that. And I'm sure it's just beginning. Sorry total rant...
bibliomaniagrl Message #401 - 04/08/08 06:55 PM
Oh forgot to mention: Coset I think I saw those gel pad things at Target. Though obviously don't know if they work.
Wisconsin Beth Message #402 - 04/08/08 07:40 PM
biblio, My DH is 6'2, so I insisted he come with me to babiesrus to 'testdrive' strollers to make sure that we registered for a stroller that was good for his height and mine (5'6). We found several, then picked out the one we liked best from those. It was helpful to be able to limit the gimorous amount of strollers down to a managable number! I think some strollers are height adjustible, but not all and not all for someone as tall as your DH.
Also, be careful with the figures of your baby's size - my cousin is 6'2 and her DH is 6'7 or so and her doctors badly misjudged the size of their son. I don't want to be scary or anything, but ask about having the growth u/s when you get to the 3rd trimester, due to the size of your H, if you doctor doesn't mention them.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:25:44 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #403 - 04/08/08 08:30 PM
biblio - I had posted a link from an older thread a couple of pages back for you to go through for an idea of a "to get" list for baby items. Also, if you read from the 1st page of this thread, there are pointers on baby necessities as well as a discussion about strollers for taller people (I think the Graco travel system was one of the recommended ones).
About getting a double stroller now, I wouldn't do it because who knows if you really will want to be pregnant again so soon after your first. I know I couldn't even bring myself to think of having another one until #1 turned 2 years old. It was just so overwhelming and a huge adjustment for me to get the hang of being a mom for the one baby. Plus, double strollers are bulkier, heavier and a PITA, I wouldn't take one around unless there are actually two kids to haul in it. (Not to mention that the weight distribution will be off, so it might to too hard to drive with only one in it.) You may want to check into the Phil&Ted strollers (very pricey) but they have ones where the older one can sit below and behind the first seat with an add-on attachment. Their strollers look very bulky in terms of folding it up, but very good "drivability" and adjustable ergonomic handles. We saw one at a local baby boutique, $400 stroller + $90-ish for the add-on seat. That was way out of my price consideration.
My friend with twins had the huge double stroller limo, but ditched it as soon as she could and just bought two umbrella strollers and clipped them together (clips purchased at TRU). It was too bulky and heavy. For younger kids, they won't fit too well in non-reclining umbrella s until they can sit up well and not want to lean too forward.
And finally, if you will be using the stroller a lot, buy something you really like and feel comfortable folding up and hauling around. We have a stroller we got to take the infant carrier around when baby was smaller. (We still use that one now too. Huge basket so good for shopping trips, but not so good on grass.) Then, we have an umbrella stroller, which I love how it drives and steers on all terrain, and is smaller and lighter. I found that one at Costco for cheaper than the boutique stores around here.
boos_mom Message #404 - 04/08/08 08:39 PM
mitten - the tandem strollers we were considering was like the one your friend had. #1 would face us (or stand on the platform) while #2 will face forward (or in the car seat). Well, I happened to see a Joovy ultralight on craigslist yesterday for almost half-price of new. DH went to look at it and he ended up getting it since it was practically new. The woman said her older one was 4 yo by the time the baby came and she just decided to walk rather than stroll.
Boo saw the stroller in the house this morning and was sitting in, strapped herself in to her "big girl" seat when DH came out of the bedroom (I had already left for work). So, I'm guessing we'll get a lot of use out of it, since kid isn't exactly wanting to only walk and isn't the lightest creature either.
I haven't really seen how it folds up and how heavy it is yet, but it weighs 21 lbs according to the manufacturer. I'll let folks know how it goes when I get a chance to really test it out.
coset Message #405 - 04/08/08 08:59 PM
Coset: Where did you get your nighttime nursing bras?
MK: gap online has them -- go to the maternity tab and then look on the left headings --- there are medella or whatever that brand is I can't think of. I am going to look up some codes for them too to see if I can score a deal on them (naturally!!)
Ya know, I can relate about not wanting to spend money....but I think this time around I will get some the little things I wanted but never did get in pregnancies past....ha! I need a handful of nice nursing bras as mine are falling apart I think....and would like some nice nursing shirts -- at least a few. Or at least nursing camis that I can wear under "normal clothes" and then a few treats like the gel packs and stuff. ha!
Laxative....I keep special fiber on hand (tastes like beet juice - nummy) and aloe juice and aloe release tabs so good there.
Talk about TMI (LOL)....I have no problem with milk coming in....I have been "leaking" for about 7 weeks already on one side....LOL...it is sooo annoying!! hee heee Maybe I should start pumping NOW to stimulate the uterus and to get a move on it! LOL!!!!!!
Bibli: no worries on people telling you that you look huge! Don't let them spoil this time for you -- just enjoy that there is a little person growing inside of you. When they make their comments, smile and say, "My aren't you blunt." I have a comeback for most things now that I am on #3. LOL People think you are public property when preggo and it does get weary at times. I get the questions at this stage such as:
"Do you know what you are having." Yup. "well??" I am having a baby. "What kind?" Umm....human. smile. (boy does that make folks annoyed. hee hee) And then there is the "haven't you had that baby yet??!" blank wounded stare: umm, yeah I did. (LMBO...I am sooo bad)
keep your sense of humor love, you will need it in 3rd trimester when you feel like an overweight duck! LOL!!!
waddle waddle waddle....
boos_mom Message #406 - 04/08/08 09:48 PM
"Do you know what you are having."
DH sometimes replies "a puppy" - but that's him just messing around.
biblio - It is harder to ignore comments when they're from friends and co-workers rather than total strangers. Maybe you could get a t-shirt "Everyone carries differently". (Someone said Walmart says they sell software to make your own t-shirt logos on the computer that you print up and iron on yourself....)
coset - let me know how the gap maternity bras are. I was looking at them, but wasn't sure if I could justify the $30 cost and since they're only online... Motherhood has $12-$15 bras that I will be checking out later on. Wow, you're already making milk?! Hmmmm, I guess I should get some nursing pads sooner.
coset Message #407 - 04/08/08 10:48 PM
Boos: I will try to remember to post about them. I, too, hesitated at $30 a pop....AND I remember how much I hated the normal ones at night. I have gotten seriously turned off by Motherhood............ugh. And their quality is just awful IMHO.......this might very well be my last little one and DH is firm that I need to get some things that I have done without over the years. I hit bottom hard last time after DS so anything to make things easier for me or things I really "wish" I had done before he is basically on my case about. I told him that Victoria's Secret now carries nursing bras!!!!! He IM'd me back and said "whatever you need babe, I have never stopped you from shopping there." LOL!!!!!! too funny
OMGosh....YES....isn't that the truth about comments from those you know..........whew....I could toss out a few.....but I will spare ya!
Milk coming in: yeah i am weird........this happened the last two times too....I have one side that must just be an over achiever/type A/over excited to have a nursing biting child! LOL (DS came out biting like DD did....but then he got TEETH at 3 months and 1 day --- ahhhhh!!!)
MK: I have the PERFECT shirt for you, hun!!!! It is at Shopko....and in rhinestones it spells out: Desperate to Deliver Hee hee hee hee I bought myself one the other week -- they were about $10 LOL!!!
MittenKitten Message #408 - 04/09/08 05:13 AM
Coset: LOVE IT. will never get to that store but love it! (And it was here you dropped the T in your name btw). Thanks for the link. I have been busy all day and didn't get a chance to respond. Now need to wind down before bed.
I have been lucky that neither of my sons got their teeth until right before they turned 1. DS#1 would bite down with his gums and that was awful enough. He fought breastfeeding because he knew it would put him to sleep and he hates (still) to sleep!
Boos: Let me know how you like it. I may see if my friend will let me test drive hers and if I like it offer to buy it from her. She didn't use it long.
So we are supposed to have DSS tomorrow, now he has baseball practice. Then we are supposed to have him this weekend, he has a b-day overnight party Friday and then Sunday he has practice at around 4. So he will sleep most of Sat and then have to go to practice on Sunday. BUT DS#1 so loves to play with him. Baseball season begins!
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:26:09 GMT -5
MittenKitten Message #409 - 04/09/08 02:36 PM
37 weeks as of today! Baby is now offically to term, can I post the eviction notice now? Oh and I do not waddle like a duck, more like lumber like and elephant!
Holly Smith Message #410 - 04/09/08 04:13 PM
I hit 37 weeks on Saturday. It's too soon! I'm not ready!
I got the last of the cloth diapers in the mail yesterday, so I'm good to go there. I think all of our major purchasing is done (except a few little items for the hospital bag). DH got the carseat installed yesterday.
Jewellya Message #411 - 04/09/08 05:20 PM
10 weeks today. our Kidney Bean should have arm buds and little eyes.. (we had to have a sono last week to get an exact date. turns out I was five days conceived when i had my last cycle)
I've got SOOOO much to "look forward to."
bibliomaniagrl Message #412 - 04/09/08 05:28 PM
WI Beth: thanks for the suggestion on the growth u/s. I talked with my OB at my last appointment about my concerns on huge-O baby. She said that they could keep an eye on it. But I will defintely remind her in 3rd trimester.
Has anyone tried Barely There for nursing bras? They have some "normal' bras that snap above the cup to the strap. I got some at Kohls at the recommendation of the sales lady whose daughter and niece used them as nursing bras. But haven't heard of anyone else doing that. I got them on a great sale and then had a 15% off coupon. They ended up being about 14/15 dollars each. I also love their sports bra type things (that are not really sports bras, just a little support with no wires etc.) I've been wearing them to bed.
boos_mom Message #413 - 04/09/08 06:17 PM
I'm 26 weeks today. I get confused about the # of months though, especially when trying to figure out what month/chapter I'm supposed to read in the books. I've got 3 more months til I pop, but does that mean I'm starting month 7 or still in month 6???
mitten - I folded up the stroller last night. Boy, it sure feels HEAVY! It does kind of seem to be rather of a hassle (see reasons below), but it still drives/feels/rides really nicely once it's open. But, I figure DH will be around when we use the stroller more than just myself alone, so he can deal with opening and closing the stroller. The basket isn't the biggest, but maybe I'll have learned to downsize the ginormous diaper bag for #2.... Or, if you take it straight out of the house for walks around, it'd be great as it has good-sized, durable wheels. Biggest cons below:
- you have to lock all 4 wheels before closing it up, rather than just the 2 back wheels like normal strollers - no obvious handle to grab the stroller once it's folded up; have to just find the most stable bars to grab. - the length and weight of the stroller when folded up is a lot, so it will take up a lot of space in a trunk (the weight may be less of an issue once I pop, as it's hard to comfortably grab a big bulky item without wanting to use your body, but is impossible to do when you have a 'basketball' getting in the way)
biblio - I've used BarelyThere undies. I will have to check and see if Macy's carries those bras. No Kohl's around here, so if they are good, I'd have to wait for the buy 2 get 2 free Macy's bra/undies sale and use a 20% off coupon, if I can get one.
MittenKitten Message #414 - 04/09/08 09:11 PM
Boos: Thanks for the info. She was basically unhappy with how heavy it was. Interesting about having to lock the wheels. With mycurrent stroller I don't have to lock them, it automatically locks the back ones for me when I close it up. We will see what happens. I think I am at the point I am not going to be doing too much until after the baby.
Oh except work, take care of the kids..... We will wait to buy the new to us vehicle (still need the truck for a few things.) or a stroller. If nothing else I figure I will put the baby in the snuggli at first and use the stroller for DS#2.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:26:22 GMT -5
coset Message #415 - 04/10/08 02:35 AM
Greetings! Had 3rd u/s today. Baby is head down so all good. Had appt afterwards....all is good. Doc is not so convinced that I will make it to due date...ha ha...I'll believe that when I see it! heehee Got to go to Target for AN HOUR BY MYSELF tonight....that just soooo doesn't happen. It was great...haven't been grocery shopping in 2 weeks and we were OUT of stuff. Also got all stocked up on nursing pads, tucks pads, more size 1 diapers (I think I have more than enough now! LOL Better start getting size 2) and I found those gel breast pads....they WERE at Target and you can put them in the fridge/freezer OR heat them....very cool. They were made by **** and were about $11.xx for a 2 pack. I splurged on them and decided that yeah I could always use a bag of peas or a warm washcloth but neither seem to stay the temp I need for long. I was being so silly: I got the nursing pads with adhesive in them too instead of the other kinds. Whoo-hoo I guess I was in a frivolous mood! LMBO! Big spender tonight!
MK: yeah, not a store I go to very often....forget why I was there the other week...looking for something on my way back from appt in STC. Lumber, eh? LOL!!! you are so bad! Yes, eviction notice in progress! I'll even notarize it for you -- okay that might not hold up in court...but it sounds good! Yeah you get some rest hun and don't do so much....I am not sleeping either so I am right there with ya. Remember to check out dans in BL when you get to that point. I'll email ya the link if you want. Say, are snugglis hard on the back? I have an Eddie Bauer carrier and it was not that great....but now thinking about a sling type thing....maybe...
Jewellya: congrats hun! Yes, you have much to look forward to!
Holly: ugh -- installing car seat....I still have to WASH ours.....and there is a little rip in it that needs to be mended...details details.....
Bibli: I have other BT bras and have loved them and the undies. I haven't used the nursing bras...funny you mention Kohls....I got a 20% off Q in the mail and am thrilled.....DS needs "big boy" twin sheets and I was going to look over there nursing section....not much there at the two Kohls closest to me so that is a bummer....
Boos: 26 weeks is technically 6.5 months. Week 28 is the turning point for both month 7 and 3rd trimester. Does that help? I always laugh and say whomever created this myth that you are pregnant for 9 month should be strung up by toenails.........40 weeks = 10 months. LOL (yeah I know there is a math complication there since months are X.XX weeks....I don't care!! LOL STRING 'EM UP!!!!)
K, I think that is everything.....I am exhausted....I'll respond to other stuff MK later. LOL. Night all!!!!
Wisconsin Beth Message #416 - 04/10/08 02:54 PM
I'm at week 35 today. 5 more to go and please God, she'll be early, even if we're not ready!
Yeah, the weeks/months setup is so strange, esp. when the books suddenly go from counting in weeks to counting in months.
We're doing the bringing home baby class on Sat, then going shopping for a mattress for the crib. My showers are over, so I need to print off the registry and find out what's left that we need vs. what's left that we want. We rec'd $135 in cash/checks from the showers, so we'll fill in a bunch of the things. Anyone know offhand when the 10% discount for whatever's left on the babiesrus registry kicks in? Before birth or after the birth? I can't remember (no surprise there) and DH never knew.
coset Message #417 - 04/10/08 02:55 PM
LOL okay...my message from last night is being hidden due to supposed profanity.....hmmmmm...........any ideas what triggered that one?
On another thought.......what kind of bottles do you all like/prefer and why? We used Avent but they seemed to leak from what i recall...they were really sensitive. I nursed but these were handy for when I was gone and DH feed.
Wisconsin Beth Message #418 - 04/10/08 03:07 PM
biblio - yeah, keep them in mind. I got them automatically because of advanced maternal age (I'm 37). Basically, I had an u/s just about every month for different reasons. The last 2 were called "growth" because they were measuring her growth rates. But it was kinda fun to see the changes in her though. I go in again May 2nd, but I don't remember if it's part of growth ones or just to see what's going on. My ob/gyn swears it will be the last one though.
coset Message #419 - 04/10/08 03:14 PM
Beth- dunno...sorry......didn't know that was an option! I just registered at Target --- not that I think anyone will actually look there. People don't seem to do much around here for #3 -- or #2 for that matter. I only registered there since I had a card that would give me a $20 giftcard to Target if I made a baby registry with them.....that was VERY worth a few minutes of my time! ha!
anciana Message #420 - 04/10/08 03:25 PM
Beth, BRU told me that they will be sending 10% coupon for anything that's still left on my registry about 2 weeks before my due date. I thought Target does that too, but haven't been there yet, just registered online.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:26:47 GMT -5
Wisconsin Beth Message #421 - 04/10/08 03:34 PM
Ok, thanks! One of my coworkers left a coupon for 15% off 1 item at BRU for me, so we'll probably use that for the changing table DH really thinks we need. I don't think we need it, but if it means he'll change diapers...
bibliomaniagrl Message #422 - 04/10/08 04:17 PM
Coset: the BT bras are in the "regular" bra section at Kohls not the maternity section. Don't want to you have to search around and not find them. I'm psyched I just got a 30% off coupon for Kohls and will be getting a couple more (doing wash every other day for myself---maternity clothes and bras---is getting rather old.) I soo wish my office was less dressy/corporate. I'm already a bit underdressed half the time. At least my boss is very understanding.
boos_mom Message #423 - 04/10/08 08:57 PM
You'd get the BRU coupon only 2 weeks before your due date?! Sheesh, who wants to go looking at baby furniture with the crying newborn, not to mention the ped recommendation of not taking baby out in public for 1 month. BRU needs to re-work that coupon deal.
I wanted to tell everyone DH picked up a MightyTite at TRU for car seat installation using only a seatbelt (not LATCh). Wow, it's fabulous! The carseat in my mother's car always felt so unstable no matter how much I adjusted it. (Plus, she undid the seatbelt unintentionally so I had to keep on redoing it.) Now, with the MightyTite, it's perfect! I'll need to pick up another one for my car, as I don't have LATCh in my middle seat, which is where the next one will be going, since #1 doesn't want me to move her seat.
boos_mom Message #424 - 04/10/08 09:00 PM
Coset - we used Avent bottles as well. I think the leaks occurred when we didn't put the n_ipples on correctly so it wasn't flush against the bottle or when we didn't screw the cap on correctly (have to unscrew it and twirl it in 'reverse' for a bit and then tighten it again). DH's friend used Dr. Brown's and really liked it, as their child was gassy. Since I still have my Avent bottles, I'll use them again, just get new n_ipples.
bibliomaniagrl Message #425 - 04/11/08 04:58 PM
Just an FYI. Gap is having a really good sale on maternity clothes (if you need dressy things for work). I got a great blouce for $6 and several others for $15 or less. They also have a bunch of kids stuff on sale. They also gave me a coupon to use right then (and another for later) for $15 off if you spend $50. I love their stuff (though usually it's too expensive) but got some great deals between sales and the coupon.
The Reflector - WIR Message #426 - 04/11/08 06:40 PM
It has been a while since I've been able to check out the WIR, it is so good to see so many of you nearing the finish line (so to speak). It will take me a while to catch up on the postings but I've read the last few pages.
I wear Barely There bras after my sister turned me on to them. They fit me really well and I started using them instead of nursing bras after that initial engorgement phase where I couldn't wear anything resembling a normal sized bra! Since the straps snap at the top of the cup it is really easy to unsnap and nurse/pump.
Just a brief explanation of why I was gone so long, I was put on bedrest in the hospital right after Thanksgiving and was there for 3 weeks before DD #2 made her debut at 28 weeks weighing 1 lb 10 oz. She was in the NICU for 79 days and came home 6 weeks ago and is now up to 6 lb 3 oz. I am just now getting to the point of poking my head up to see what is going on in the world, so I hope to be back on the boards from time to time. I missed you gals!
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:27:01 GMT -5
MittenKitten Message #427 - 04/11/08 07:36 PM
Reflector: Congratulations on your baby girl! Glad to hear she is gaining weight. Any other issues with her early arrival? I hope all is going well. I had a friend who had her baby at 30 weeks I think her DD was around 2 lbs. Must have been very scary for you.
May need to check out the Barely There Bras. Does Kohl's carry them?
Now ladies just hope with me that DD waits until next week to arrive. I have too much to do until then! It snowed here and we are supposed to get more but we will see. If it doesn't start again I may be able to get everything done tonight and then it won't matter. Boy is she moving a lot and of course shifting my insides and outsides around .
I typed out the schedule for my boys and instructions for my dad and his wife who are taking care of the boys while I go in to the hospital. I am not sure how DS#2 will take it as I have been away from him over night once since he was born. (He will be 2 in May.) Is it sad I feel guilty for leaving him to give birth?
House is a mess i have clothes for DDs coming years my sister has brought over and can't go through them right now. I also have piles of stuff I need to list on E-bay but can't do anything until after I have the baby as it would be kinda difficult to ship the stuff while in the hospital LOL. Oh well at least I have enough formula samples to tide us over until my milk comes in.
Hope everyone is having a good day and feeling well!
Holly Smith Message #428 - 04/11/08 08:08 PM
Milk coming in: yeah i am weird........this happened the last two times too....I have one side that must just be an over achiever/type A/over excited to have a nursing biting child!
My right leaks more than my left! I've been leaking regularly (several times a day) for at least since 30 weeks.
Holly Smith Message #429 - 04/11/08 08:16 PM
Reflector, it's wonderful to hear from you! I'm glad to see your baby is doing well.
boos_mom Message #430 - 04/11/08 09:28 PM
Reflector - I'm so glad to hear that you and baby are doing well! What a stressful time for you, but it sounds like you both are thriving. Keep us posted & welcome back!
I typed out the schedule for my boys and instructions for my dad and his wife who are taking care of the boys while I go in to the hospital. I am not sure how DS#2 will take it as I have been away from him over night once since he was born. (He will be 2 in May.) Is it sad I feel guilty for leaving him to give birth?
mitten - thanks for the reminder. My mother, whom Boo adores, will be watching, but she is totally spontaneous, so I'll need to write down schedule and instructions for her and remind her to call if she has a question. I too am feeling sad that I will have to leave Boo at home. At least she'll come to visit us at the hospital, but she is such a joy to have around; she always brightens my day when I see her smiling face in the morning when I'm dragging my tired butt around getting ready for work.
MittenKitten Message #431 - 04/13/08 02:42 PM
RANT: Any one else here really frustrated with their partner? It seems as if mine is at work all the time, doesn't take a lot of time for family, then when he is home he is tired or doesn't feel well. When I was sicker then a dog I did all the things I had to do. He on the other hand could leave work when he was exhausted go over to his dad's and take a nap. Ya think he could have come home early (like 2ish, 4 oclock does me no good since I still have to get dinner ready etc.) and given me a break. Then on weekends he is sleeping or having to do something with/for DSS.
Thanks for letting me vent. Just really frustrated. I am tired of having to plan and do everything for the family while he only has to work and bring home our living expenses. Mind you I am not saying he doesn't work hard, he does. BUT he gets to go out to lunch, talk to other people besides kids and go out for the occasionally happy hour. I just need him to be able to play with the kids while I cannot and spend some quality time with them. Yesterday would have been a perfect day to play in the snow (heck I can't bend over to get to it.) what did he do? Took a nap and was pretty much worthless the entire afternoon.
Just a few more weeks and baby will be here. Nameless still (yet another thing......)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
ETA: 1.5 hours of sleep does NOT help improve one's mood!
MittenKitten Message #432 - 04/14/08 02:58 PM
I didn't mean to scare everyone away . Hope everyone had a good weekend! I did get a nap in on Sunday which helped. Now if Ds#2 would quit crying at me all would be well.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:27:26 GMT -5
coset Message #433 - 04/14/08 03:44 PM
no scaring away.........ha! Just very full weekend and very sleepy today. I am having a hard time getting moving....I *know* I should get cleaned up and head the 30 minutes to Kohls to stock up on everything but I just don't feel like it....maybe DS will get a LONG movie and I will take a nap.........just wiped out!!! I must not be sleeping well at night...I THINK I am asleep but it is quite fitful.
At least the crib is set up and the rooms are almost put back together after playing musical furniture this weekend and trying to sort through DD and DS' spring/summer clothes so it is done. So maybe nap today and shop tomorrow............my extra discount coupon is good until then.
MK: glad you got a nap in! We are nameless too....
Wisconsin Beth Message #434 - 04/14/08 03:56 PM
You didn't scare me off, I just didn't get online this weekend!
We had the "Bringing Baby Home" class on Sat. then went out to lunch and grocery shopping. Crawled off to rest when we got home. On Sunday I felt miserable until the early afternoon, we went shopping at Target and BRU. We bought the mattress for the crib at BRU, just to get it done. It's airing in the baby's room now. I also got all the Thank you's done. I need to buy more stamps and toss them in the mail, now I can start sorting though the piles of gifts in the living room and we can figure out what we got dups of, what can go into the baby's room as is (toys) and start sorting though the clothes/bedding for what needs to be washed! Dad repaired the dresser and that's safely in the baby's room, so once I get the laundry done, it can go in the dresser. We're getting there!
We're going test driving on cars tonight. Yay! And the snow's gone and please will stay that way here in Milwaukee.
jdnstl Message #435 - 04/14/08 04:03 PM
Re: Barely There bras This is probably too late, but JC Penny had them on sale this weekend for $17.99 down from the reg. $30.00. The sale might be still going on, don't know. Since I read you guys talking about them I picked up 2 to see how I like them, etc. I LOVE THEM!
MK- I wish my DH would do more too. But he does physical labor 50-60 hours/week so I try to be understanding.
As far as I know, all is well with my peanut - it's too early to know the sex yet. My next appointment is in 2 weeks. Don't know what they'll check then.
Question: Has anyone's doc said yes or no to massages? My MT told me they won't massage women during the 1st trimester & it's up to the doc after that. Any one had any experiences with it?
Wisconsin Beth Message #436 - 04/14/08 04:17 PM
The stuff I read on massage during pregnancy said it's fine, but you should be on a pregnancy massage table - the ones with spaces and additional support for your breasts and belly. I did hear we are supposed to avoid aromatherapy though.
bibliomaniagrl Message #437 - 04/14/08 04:48 PM
Exhausting weekend! I'm dragging today at work!
I haven't heard anything about not having a massage. I've heard that you should go to someone trained in pregnancy massage but other than that I haven't heard anything. I would love one right now!!!
anciana Message #438 - 04/14/08 05:10 PM
I've also heard not to massage certain parts of your body that might trigger pre-term labor, and I know it was feet or toes. I remember giving birth few years ago and the nurse in the hospital pinching my little toe to help speed up labor (it did!). So, if you want a massage, see somebody who is trained and knows what to do and what to avoid.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:27:39 GMT -5
coset Message #439 - 04/14/08 05:38 PM
I have received massage and adjustments for years......yes, you can get massages in 1st trimester and beyond. You can be on your belly until you are uncomfortable to do so (either do to breast discomfort or tummy size). Massage is a great way to ease pain and nausea......just be sure you drink an ample amount of clear liquids afterwards as massage releases toxins and you want to flush them out quickly........as far as someone trained for it that is most helpful AND most professional massage therapists know about pregnancy and massage. Yes, there are special tables for pregnant women. You might want to call in advance as ask that they have one available....you can also have therapists who are trained to do them without special tables....they do what is called a "side" massage where you lie on your side and then flip as necessary.
That being said, one of the spots that cannot be massaged at great length is part of the ankle..........so if you are going in for a full pedicure be aware of that one....unless of course you want to get the ball rolling! LOL Hmmm...that is right...I need to schedule one of those...lol
mittenkitten-Just wanted to jump in even though I had my little rugrat 5 months ago and say I have the exact same problem with DH. He does so little around the house(except cook which I am grateful for if he only didn't dirty every large bowl and pan we have while doing it) and has more naps than I do. He hasn't been sleeping well lately but then neither am I. I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time in the last 6 months. He got mad Saturday afternoon because he was trying to take a nap on the couch(why he didn't go to our bedroom and shut the door I don't know)and the kids were playing, going in and out of the house while I was outside pulling weeds and they were noisy and woke him up. Then this morning he got upset because he couldn't find a shirt to wear to work. There were 4 shirts hanging in the closet but they weren't ones he wanted to wear. It may take saying something one of my friends did to her DH to make him realized that while she appreciated all he did at work to bring home a paycheck, he needed to help more with the family matters. It went only the lines of "If money is all you are going to contribute to this family, you can do that just as well through alimony and child support and I wouldn't have to clean up after you." She wasn't serious at all and neither would I be but it did make her DH stop and think that being the dad was more than just providing the money.
MittenKitten Message #441 - 04/14/08 06:39 PM
Massages: I actually HAD to have some with DS#1 as my sciatic nerve was not happy. The ankles are the spot I heard to avoid (HMMMMM maybe I need to go get a pedicure now with a long ankle massage. Weds works for me LOL.) They have special pillows that you lay in with a hole cut out for your tummy.
Midwest: Thanks for the support. Love him dearly but he does frustrate me at times. Since we are not married (Yet long story) the alimony wouldn't work but with 3 kids it would hurt if I only wanted child support. No I am no where near that point though. We did have one really tough spot when DS#1 was around 1 year but I was determined to work through it as I didn't want a broken home for DS.
I am just bored, can't do a heck of a lot, tired etc. On Weds I will be 38 weeks.
boos_mom Message #442 - 04/14/08 07:14 PM
re: massage - be sure to check ahead, as some therapists won't work on a pregnant woman without a written doctor's clearance due to liability issues.
mitten - even though I work outside the home, I still do most of the child care-/housekeeping- related tasks. We earn about the same but I also keep the household running smoothly, noting when we're running low on TP or groceries or whatever. If boo is sick, I usually take off and warn DH that he may need to take off if she's sick more than a day. DH's offer for cooking is "take-out" or willingly eating cereal for dinner if he's had a big lunch. He has been trying harder, bathing boo since bending over is not the most comfortable thing to do right now. And we both alternate dropping off and picking up from preschool. It's definitely frustrating at times. Part of it is how he was raised. In his family, the father worked a lot, that's what the husband did, "provide" for the family. The mom did work, but she was still in charge of the home. So, it's basically a slow process to get DH to realize that I don't want it to be like that. I want him to participate more fully in home life. I probably let it slide more since we only had 1. But, with 2, I know I'll need more help, so we're working on trying to get him to help out more. And he's been running a lot of errands for me now before he starts work, since I'm tired and don't always want to go pick a prescription or to 1 store for a few non-grocery items that are on sale.
Anyone know if cattle prods are adjustable in voltage? I just need a slight shock to get him up.
Mitten-I totally understand the bored, tired, and unable to do much feeling. I found the last month of pregnancy the hardest, especially when there are other young ones to look after. I also get jealous of DH being able to go to work and socialize with other adults. I am an introvert and it takes me a while to make new friends. It hasn't helped that we've moved twice in the last 3 years. I was finally comfortable in the last place we lived and had a few friends including a mom I am really close to and who's son is my oldest's best friend and we had to move 8 hours away for DH's new job. Being a SAHM makes it harder to make new friends unless you are part of a club(tried that and the group fell apart soon after I joined) or there is a pool or playground in the neighborhood(we don't have those). Sometimes we just need a break from the kids and it would be great if our partners would to that without us having to ask. Hope your kitten comes soon. We were lucky and my OB induced me at 39 weeks because without family or friends readily available, we had no idea what we were going to do with the other 3 if the baby had decided to come early.
coset Message #444 - 04/15/08 12:55 AM
Mitten: make me an appt too, will ya? I think I am ready! ha! Between all this "awful snow" and sciatica and other stuff -- blach! I am really getting grumpy and tired....hate to say it but that is the case....and I have been spending waaay too much time in the bathroom...sorry TMI I know....but I think these iron supplements are wrecking me!!! My tummy is just grinding and I have to run for the bathroom...ugh. I am so acidic at this point I think I could take a BATH in aloe juice and greens and I wouldn't lean towards alkaline. lol So much for wanting to go anywhere.
How is your acid reflux -- are you sleeping at all?
I have decided that there are a few things I need to finish....put baby clothes in dresser, clean up a few areas of the house....and after that...I don't care....maybe print the labels of who we want to send invites to for baptism...and who we want to send cards to for announcements and put them all in a folder......oh yeah....and I STILL need to pack my bag.....just can't seem to want to do that one. lol Maybe cuz I only have 1 of some of that stuff so it isn't like I can pack it??
I suppose I could pack bags for the kids.....
umm....hmmmm....yeah I'll get right on that one.
DH stuff: I know that one....and it is tough. My DH is better than he was with #1....#3 is a unique situation though.....since he is under a great great deal of pressure and stress right now.....but I do get a little envious when he gets to go out to eat all the time for work (expensed) and I barely have energy to cook P & J sandwiches.......ha! Thank goodness DD (6.5) likes to help out with that kind of thing....ha!
Boos: yeah my DH grew up like that too....and his mom is currently a member of the white glove house tester association......I couldn't pull that off if I wanted to....AND I really have no desire to clean the house 18 out of 24 hours a day.....
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:28:04 GMT -5
MittenKitten Message #445 - 04/15/08 03:19 AM
I admit I HATE to clean. It gets done but probably not as often as it should. I do laundry on the weekends, usually 3 loads and can't understand how people do laundry every day! I just can't stand sticky and like the kitchen to be clean. As for toys DS#2 immediately brings them all out when they are put away so why bother? DF vacuums. Heck this is why we have family gatherings around 1x a month, the house gets cleaned .
Still have the acid reflux, just working around it. Dinners have been interesting. Today was cheesecake icecream with raspberries from Cold Stone. Not nearly as bad if/when it comes up. (TMI sorry) I am just trying to be patient. Went to Walmart today to get things for the kids to eat for breakfast. Amazing how much cheaper some of their stuff is. I go usually once every couple of months. Not my favorite place but it helps with the budget.
Tomorrow will go get milk etc. Should have gone tonight just didn't have the energy.
Friends of ours who are special ed teachers and deal with Autistic children are going to come over on Sat and socialize/observe DS#2 and give me there impressions. I am not real good on patience and want their take on the situation so I can get a jump on things if needed. I figure I will use every resource at my disposal to figure things out and get him the best help necessary. Of course if I am in the hospital we will reschedule.
bibliomaniagrl Message #446 - 04/15/08 06:19 PM
I totally agree with the HATING to clean. It seems to be a never ending cycle. I don't mind the laundry because I can put in loads and go to something else, but cleaning yuck. My DH helps quite a bit, but it definitely doesn't get done as often as I would like. I've decided that before the baby comes (and all home improvements for baby's arrival are done) I'm going to use my saved "mad money" to get a cleaning lady to come in and to a major "deep clean." My friend recommended someone who will do my size house for around $60 and I figure that will be money well spent!
Amazon Hunter Message #447 - 04/15/08 07:07 PM
Great Ladies of the WIR
Congrats to all you ladies here. I've been reading this thread because we want to start trying sometime soon, but I have a question (yeah, another one). What were some of your goals (financial and otherwise) that you set to reach before you got pregnant? Maybe it wasn't planned, in which case this question would be irrelevant. But what were your goals, hypothetically?
Holly Smith Message #448 - 04/15/08 07:13 PM
What were some of your goals (financial and otherwise) that you set to reach before you got pregnant?
1. Go to Europe at least once. 2. Buy something that can accrue equity (even if it isn't in this market). 3. Finish my Bachelor's Degree.
We accomplished #1 in January 2004, #2 in March 2005, and #3 in May 2007. We started trying two days later.
boos_mom Message #449 - 04/15/08 07:28 PM
What were some of your goals (financial and otherwise) that you set to reach before you got pregnant?
1. Wait til we had been married a couple of years and felt 'ready' to have a baby. 2. Be comfortable living within the revised budget with daycare cost included. 3. Have EF fully funded, and then a separate fund to cover any unpaid leave so that I could stay home for 6 months with the baby.
own up Message #450 - 04/15/08 07:33 PM
Can someone here please answer this question? I hear over and over SAHM's justifying not working by saying all of their income will go to daycare. Last I checked average daycare ran about $1200 per month, which is just over $14K per year. After the tax deduction it is less than that. Most people earn much more than that per year so to me it is well worth continuing to work based on the numbers. What am I missing here?
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:28:18 GMT -5
MittenKitten Message #451 - 04/15/08 08:04 PM
AH: To go to Australia, Have a house/home, to have an EF and be able to afford them. DS#1 was a little earlier then anticipated but we had all our goals accomplished. Never had any debt to worry about other then the mortgage so I guess it was a goal to keep it that way.
Own: For the first child I did remain working outside the home. (Although I did cut my hours down when he was 2 see more below.) With DS#2 things changed a lot. For one you can only take a small credit compared to the cash outlay. Second there are other costs to consider such as vehicle expenses (gas, insurance, maintenance, wear and tear etc.) Then you need to have more/better clothes, lunches out etc. After DS#2 we figured for my to go back working outside the home at a normal job making $23.50 an hour after taxes my actual take home would only have been $400 a month. Daycare alone would have eaten up $1400-$1500 a month on the cheap side if they had been in fulltime.
In addition I had cut my hours down as there are other factors in the equation such as I didn't want my child to be at daycare from 6:30 am-5:00 pm. That would mean I would have "quality" time with my child(ren) for a whole 2.5-3 hours including dinner and bathing them and all the other things one has to do. I wanted to actually spend time with them and raise them. (No bashing please I am NOT judging anyone else here for their choices and realize there are many things to consider in the choice.)
So I think your daycare costs numbers are WAY off. No one pays less then $100 a week for daycare. Around here it is $150-$200 a week PER CHILD for an inhome daycare and much more for a center. Then you have taxes to pay on your income. Next gas for your vehicle would have cost me at least $120 a week, especially how fast they are going up (I drive a full sized truck so yes this is a little on the high side, plus I live 45 minutes from where I used to work one way.) Plus they took a pension out of my salary so I didn't get the full amount either (yes not necessarily a bad thing.) So here is our math so far: If I were to work 20 hours I would make: $470 a week, after taxes and pension roughly $330, after gas since only parttime $249, minus daycare for 2 kids 2.5 days (not that anyone actually lets you do this) $99 left over. Now if you have even one lunch out $90. You get the picture.
boos_mom Message #452 - 04/15/08 10:22 PM
own up - it really depends on each person's individual situation. Even though I am expecting #2, I know I will return to work and just have 2 daycare payments, but that will cost me about $1400/month, as one is in preschool and the other will be at a home day care provider (which is much cheaper than daycare centers). My commute is 10 minutes if minimal traffic, otherwise 15+ minutes. Work wadrobe is rather casual. Work environment is really flexible, great people, and totally understanding toward family issues. I would still use gas (probably more) if I stayed at home because I like to go for walks or take baby out b/c I get bored at home and am not really good at 'teaching'. I'd still eat lunches out if I was going to the park or the library. I was her primary caretaker in the beginning and we had 6 months together to bond in the beginning, but I liked that my first born learned so much at the HDCP and socialized with others and was not crazy attached to me. Frankly, by the time 6 months passed, I was more than ready to return to work and we had an awesome HDCP.
Other folks, finances and work situation don't necessarily work out so easily. Or they really can't stand to leave their child with someone else. I admire folks who can be a SAHP. But, I am not one of them. I can afford to work and send both children to daycare. I enjoy my work and I love the time I get to spend with my kid at night and on the weekends. Of course, if we somehow had a humungous windfall, I'd instead volunteer and send the baby part-time to a HDCP and keep the older one in preschool. I know my limitations and intellectual stimulation for a preschooler is not one of my strengths.
GusitaRenker Message #453 - 04/16/08 03:18 AM
Here are my personal goals, DF and I plan to start trying sometime in 2009:
1. Have no consumer debt (credit cards, car loans, etc).
2. Have $3000 saved up solely for baby expenses, seperate from our regular EF.
3. Be able to comfortably live off of DF's income. We are able to do this now, with my income going to savings and debt payoff.
4. Have my bachelor's degree
I plan on working on my masters part-time while staying home the baby, hopefully for at least a couple of years. I will probably work part-time during this period as well, hoping to use my new accounting/finance skills that I will have acquired by then! How long did it take everyone to conceive, for those that were actively trying?
MittenKitten Message #454 - 04/16/08 08:10 AM
Gusita: I may not be the right person to ask how long it takes to conceive. DF and I have 3 children together counting the one that will be coming any day (in fact maybe today .) DS#1 was the month I went off the pill and we had intended to wait 9 months to try. DS#2 was THE month we decided to try for him and DD is a surprise and a BC failure. So we are EXTREMELY fertile.
dea_81 Message #455 - 04/16/08 12:59 PM
I have been reading this thread for a few weeks now, but haven't posted. I am due in August with my first child.
Amazon- As for goals:
1- We wanted to be stable. We have been married for 4 years have, good jobs, are getting better at saving.
2 We originally wanted to have a house and be able to afford daycare. Once we realized it would take another 5 years or longer to do both we chose affording daycare. I am big on quality of life....what is the point of a house with a yard if we can't afford kids to play in that yard. We live in a nice apartment a block away from a park it wasn't what I imagined for my life but it will work for now.
3 I had expected to have a good EF and some debt paid off before the baby got here, and we will have and OK EF and paid down a good chunk of debt.....but the baby happened a little quicker than expected.
Own - As for daycare we can not afford for one of us to stay at home. Daycare will run between 480 and 640 a month depending if we go with a center or an in home daycare, which I would prefer not only for the price difference but for the smaller environment, and more personalized care. Even after taxes, 401K and flexible spending for medical and daycare I will bring home double that. DH and I share a car and work half a block form each other so the transportation expenses are about the same. I wear jeans to work so wardrobe is not really an additional expense
I also do not think I am cut out to be a SAHM. I love my job (most days) and the idea of spending 8 weeks home with a baby in August makes me a little nervous. This all may change once the baby is here, but for me to be my best I need to do something that stimulates my mind. Now if we decide to have another child the cost of daycare would be too much and one of us would stay home, but probably my DH.
Gusita - I got pregnant the first month off BC. We had been told due to a medication my husband had been taking that it would affect his fertility for 3 months after discontinuing it, apparently that was not true.
jdnstl Message #456 - 04/16/08 01:42 PM
My only goal was to finish my BA - which i did about 4 years ago. i wish i would have planned better financially bc i have too much consumer debt & not any where near enough of an EF.
i want to sah but i don't know if we can do it. my dh has only been working in the states about 6 months. it could be a long-term, very stable job, but you never know what will happen. plus with the large debt load we currently have i need to continue working just to get that paid down as quickly as possible. my goal is to have at least the cc paid completely before the baby arrives in oct. it's a very ambitious goal. we'll see if that happens.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:28:43 GMT -5
sjk279 Message #457 - 04/16/08 01:46 PM
Our goal was to pay off as much of our debt to free up any day care costs. Granted, we could afford it now since we're snowballing, but it will be nice to remove some line-items from our budget. We're on track to meet that goal, and plan to start trying this summer.
So, (if this has already been discussed on this message let me know and I will search) I have a money question. I've been clipping PG test coupons from the paper to stock up for when that time comes. Are there some brands that are better than others? I've seen some that are quite expensive... is it worth it to buy digital or a smily face over the standard plus/minus? Let me know opinions and successes/failures with the different kinds of tests available. It's almost as overwhelming as the toy aisle at christmas!
MittenKitten Message #458 - 04/16/08 02:16 PM
sjk: I have just gone with the cheapest brand, usually a store brand and they have worked fine for us (aka been correct the times I have used them.) I think if you use them around when your period would have been they are pretty accurate, especially when positive. Never used the digital ones so I can't weigh in on those.
bibliomaniagrl Message #459 - 04/16/08 06:03 PM
1) Pay off all debt (25K in CC, 8K in SL) expect DH student loan (too big and we aren't getting any younger) and mortgage. We did this Jan. 2007 (it took 2 years).
2) Have an EF for 3 to 4 months expenses which is around 12K (done Dec. 2007)
3) Take a "major" totally paid for vacation (Went to Prague for 9 days Oct. 2007 paid for totally from travel savings)
4) Build a family fund of 10K to cover baby expenses and possible time off for me (we are a little over half way there and will have 10K by Aug. when DD is born)
5) continue to build travel savings, home and car improvement/repair savings. We still want to be able to take mini-breaks and vacations so are budgeting for that now. And the house or cars always need something and we want a cushion before we might go to one salary. (almost 2K in travel, 1200 in house, 150 in car it's new)
Stay at home question: This is a tough one. I think it totally depends on your situation, how much you make, how much of your current lifestyle you want to give up etc. This was a major issue for DH and I. DH comes from a broken home where the parent he lived with worked 60+ hours a week. Basically his older brother raised him or as my FIL says "they raised themselves" (the boys were 8, 10, 12/13 when divorce happened). My parents are still together and while we had a sitter when we got older (my mom worked PT as a RN) most childcare was covered by my parents until I was old enough to babysit younger siblings.
My DH was very adamant that 90% of our childcare should be provided by one of us (he doesn't care if it's me or him as he has a very flexible schedule as a youth pastor or he is willing to take time off and let me work if that's what I want).
We've decided that he will be the "primary" breadwinner (not really all that different from now even though we make about the same or I make a little more, as we try to live off his salary and use mine to pay debt, or building savings etc.). We get a lot more tax breaks on our house (because he is clergy) if he is working. The unfortunate part is we can't quite make it on just his salary (well we could if the world was perfect and we never needed to fix anything and inflation would stop etc. but that's not life). Also the major part of our retirement savings come from me. So...I will be trying to work PT next year at my current job (it's a grant funded education job so I never know from one school year to the next if I'll have work). I'm also looking into a couple (very few and far between) PT on-line teaching jobs. My current job is the best option as I can work one full day and 4 half days (will be done by noon at the latest). My husband will watch DD when I'm at work and I will have her all the other times and have primary care on weekends which are one of his busiest times. If I can do this I will still get my 10.5% match on my 10% for retirement. And we won't have to dip into our savings at all (allowing for other kiddies in the near future).
How long?: We got preggers month 2. But I wasn't on the pill prior to that (makes me wicked sick).
boos_mom Message #460 - 04/16/08 06:13 PM
re: time to conceive -- #1 it was about 1 year from when I stopped the pill (but the first couple of months I wanted to wait to stabilize my cycle). With #2, it was about 9 months when I stopped the pill (and we tried from the start).
btw, my cycles were always irregular, but after having #1, it became much more regular when we were trying for #2.
ETA: re: PG tests - for those, the + and - generic ones were fine. It's the ovulation sticks that I might recommend getting happy faces or something easier to read than the "dark" line vs. "light" line readings. Unless you don't mind wasting one month because you have trouble reading the fertile days (like me, since the dark line isn't really that dark as it is on the box).
AT LOST Message #461 - 04/16/08 06:25 PM
Currently trying for a baby... My question relates to a "baby budget or baby fund"
One of my very best friends (and a Mom of two young children) says adamnatly that all we need to do is keep saving money in our EF fund... that "you'll never have enough baby money or child money set aside"... there will always be some unexpected expense...
I am of the belief that a certain portion of our EF should be "baby money"... am I wrong or living in another world to think that we can have a certain portion set aside for a "baby fund"?
bibliomaniagrl Message #462 - 04/16/08 06:39 PM
At lost: I agree with you that having some money set aside for baby/family fund is a good idea. But that could just be me as I like to have separate savings accounts for things. I like to say that the EF is for loss of job or something major not having a baby. Your friend is right that you'll never have enough (or at least that's what I'm told) but having a cushion up front for known expenses is a great idea in my book (but of course that's what I'm doing). I went to babycenter.com and used their first year expense tool to calculate what I thought expenses would be that first year (it was around 6K for use but we won't need to factor in childcare). We set a goal of 10K hoping not to have to dip into it too much if I'm working part time, but knowing it's there if we need it (so we don't reach for the CC) and having that cushion if I'm not working is a great relief.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:28:56 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #463 - 04/16/08 06:41 PM
At Lost - for us, the EF will cover our monthly expenses if something happens - death, disability, unemployment, catastrophic situation. We have a separate fund for baby expenses/maternity leave (as well as home maintenance, travel, car maintenance, and other short/long-term savings goals). So, I agree with your friend that the baby fund should be separate from your EF in the sense that you WILL deplete the baby fund for things, hence your EF will be underfunded and need to be built back up to whatever your goal is (e.g. 3 months of expenses), plus baby will continue to need things that may or may not come out of your daily expense budget. But it is up to you. I agree that it's always easier to have too much saved than not enough.
AT LOST Message #464 - 04/16/08 06:45 PM
Thanks to you both, Bibliomaniagrl & boos_mom for your input!
You both have given me more to think about on this and thank you for the website... I will definitely check it out... I think any help or guidance I can get would be great right now... it's kind of overwhelming thinking about "how will we afford to do this..." and "what if?"
GusitaRenker Message #465 - 04/17/08 01:43 AM
AT LOST: I think it is a great idea to have a baby fund seperate from your EF, it is actually one of my financial goals to have $3000 saved up in a baby fund that will be completely seperate from our EF. Our EF is for job loss, death, sickness, car engine blow-ups, stuff of that nature. The baby fund is for baby gear, nursery items, insurance copays, maternity clothes, and other expenses related to having a child.
I have heard that you can get pregnancy tests on amazon.com that are really cheap, but I don't know how accurate they are.
I have not been on birth control in over two years(it made me extremely moody!), have always been regular, so I am hoping that once we stop using protection, it will only take a few months, if that. High hopes, I know
Wisconsin Beth Message #466 - 04/17/08 03:00 PM
If anyone is near Milwaukee, you can have the 2nd stick in my box for a pregnancy test. I hit positive on the first one and hauled my butt into the docgtor the same day (we weren't trying, I was late and knew something was up with my body.) It's been sitting in my closet since Oct. while I wondered what to do with it!
Thanks for the website. I'm going to take a look at it too.
coset Message #467 - 04/17/08 03:08 PM
How's everyone feeling today?
coset Message #468 - 04/17/08 03:46 PM
Goals: I wanted to be in a house rather than an apartment and make enough money on just DH's income so I could "stay home."
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:29:21 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #469 - 04/17/08 07:13 PM
dea_81 - Congrats and welcome!
wonder if mitten has popped yet?
DH and I had a discussion last night. His cc bill came in and he bought a $150 worth of "stuff" again this month. I had mentioned to him when the previous bill came that he will need to more mindful of his extra spending since we'll have an increase in monthly bills due to a second daycare payment. He already gets fun/spending money allowance, so this was an extra $150 that he spends, plus another $25 or so he ends up charging on another card (that I check online) when he runs out of fun money before he gets his next allotment. He spends most of his fun money on food when he's working. Rather than make and bring lunch, he will pick up food. I used to make his lunches, but after we had boo, I stopped. He doesn't take the time to do it himself. When he works nights, he will eat lunch at home, but he will also pick up food in the middle of the night when working.
Technically, it shouldn't be a big deal. We have the money, but what happens is that we don't save as much as we ought to. He wants all of these things (a "nice" vacation, a new pair of golf shoes, some new clothes, a new harddrive, to go out for meals), but he's not connecting the dots that to get what he wants he needs to stop spending on other stuff!
I want to save a little for each child's college fund each year, need to save for home maintenance each year, put money into our Roths each year, save some for a "nice" vacation (which would only happen every few years after saving up for it), and save a little extra to invest in a taxable account. (This is after our pre-tax retirement savings). With the 2nd daycare payment, we'll have less going to savings. So, if DH continues to spend like he's used to, then it will really cut into other savings goals. Of course, he says that all of those savings goals are important to him too, but in the heat of the moment, he just remembers what he wants to buy, and not all of the longer-term stuff. So frustrating!
He doesn't handle the daily finances because he always forgets to pay stuff. I don't like 'nagging' him. We both work hard and I feel bad that he shouldn't buy the little stuff he wants. I've told him if he brings lunch/food with him to work, then he'll have money to spend on stuff he wants to buy. But he doesn't.
Should I just give up and make him lunches again? I feel like it's just one more thing I need to do for him. And it's annoying because he is perfectly capable of doing it himself, he just chooses not to.
(and yes, I am having hormonal swings!)
boos_mom Message #470 - 04/17/08 07:18 PM
I am so going to raise this little boy to take care of himself and not have his mommy do things for him!
Wisconsin Beth Message #471 - 04/17/08 08:30 PM
Boo, would he agree to an allowance increase in exchange for the cc's? Obviously it would have to be a lower about than the extra $175 he spent last month though. Then when he's out of money, he's out and he needs to handle it? Beth
boos_mom Message #472 - 04/17/08 11:12 PM
beth - I'm not sure. I think he's just so used to using the cc's for his "extra" stuff. I think I'll try going over the 2 daycare budget with him and show him that if continues to charge extra things, then it will end up coming out of the "nice" vacation budget - which is something he really wants to do, take a big trip to disneyland or someplace away. So, if he ends up spending extra each month, then that will reduce the vacation budget by the same amount.
On the other hand, if he works more in a particular payperiod and we have more than the expected paycheck, maybe I'll give him extra play money. Normally, I do like to try and save the excess because occasionally his paycheck falls under what is the "usual" amount, so that offsets the lower amount. But, since he supposedly should be seeing a raise soon, maybe they'll all be at least the usual amounts and this approach could work. At least if he waits to buy his stuff when we know we have the extra funds, then it won't decrease the vacation savings and he can get what he's been wanting (and I don't have to over-worry about our savings). Win-win.
We'll see if he thinks this would help with curbing the spending. I don't think he will leave the cc's at home. Thanks for letting me vent though!
dea_81 Message #473 - 04/18/08 12:24 PM
boos_mom - Your husband sounds similar to mine. He already went through his allowance and had to "borrow" money from the general fund. If he spent that much on a credit card I would flip out, our budget just can't take it. I just can't seem to get DH to plan ahead and think "I have X number of dollars and it needs to last 14 days." Our allowance is supposed to cover clothes, eating out at work, and gifts in addition to other wants. He does occasionally get paid extra for events he works and I let him keep that money as well. It just amazes me he never seems to have any.
Wisconsin Beth Message #474 - 04/18/08 01:40 PM
Yeah, we're weaning ourselves from using the CCs, but the ATM cards get more of a workout. 6 of one, 1/2 a dozen of the other, I guess. It's still money that we probably should be thinking about before we spend it.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:29:35 GMT -5
bibliomaniagrl Message #475 - 04/18/08 02:43 PM
I hear you all on the budget thing. But my DH and I are both guilty of "going over" at different times. Our major issue has been with food (since I've been preggers). For 4 1/2 months I could only eat cream of wheat and some other cereal so I encouraged DH to grab something (chipolte etc.) for supper.
I've been able to eat again for about 3 1/2 weeks, but my acid reflux is so bad! I haven't had a voice for 13 weeks because of it! So my food choices are very limited. Oh and I currently don't like cold food. I'm a vegetarian so not being able to eat a lot of different veggies and fruit etc. has been tough. I usually just end up grabbing something when I'm at work because I never know what i'm going to be able to eat that day or what I'll feel like. We have the money for it and we are meeting our savings goals so I haven't been too concerned. However, we could be saving more. I know that once the baby is born I'll go back to menus and planning things out so I'm not as concerned. It will also help that I wont feel horrible all the time (though that could be wishful thinking!).
Question about wills: Do you all have a will? We've been meaning to make one for forever and just haven't gotten around to it. But it is definitely on our list of things to do before DD arrives. How much does it usually cost to get one done? Where did you go to get it done?
Wisconsin Beth Message #476 - 04/18/08 02:56 PM
Biblio, can your doctor put you on anything? Mine has me on randitine which I think is the generic form of zantac. And even with that I go though a LOT of Tums. We're buying stock in Smith-Glaxo-Cline when we start to play in the market, oh, and Tylenol stock too.
Are you propping yourself up at night with lots of pillows? I've been moving to the couch more lately, because the angle I need to be on at night is higher than DH can sleep on - we've got a tempurpedic bed that changes positions.
bibliomaniagrl Message #477 - 04/18/08 05:57 PM
WI Beth---I've been on pepcid (2 a day) since month 2. That helps some with the pain but that's about it. Rolaids are basically candy to me at this point! I agree I should have invested before becoming pregnant!
I've tried sleeping in a semi-recline, but I don't sleep. I've never been one who can sleep sitting or reclining (i.e. in a plane, car, chair etc.). I have to be laying down. And it's hard to be propped up too much on my side as it really kills my low back and hips. I go in for more tests soon to see if they can do anything else (I've been to an ENT).
Wisconsin Beth Message #478 - 04/18/08 06:22 PM
Oh bummer. I move to the living room couch, a big cushy armed handmedown couch that's at least 19 years old, but in good shape. But extra pillows help. I know some of my trigger foods, but that's not helpful to you, as I'm not a vegetarian.
boos_mom Message #479 - 04/18/08 07:00 PM
dea81 - yes, I think they must lack a "planning ahead" gene. I even started giving DH his allowance in cash because he always had overages on his debit card b/c he thought he had enough money in the account. Well, it'd be like a few dollars short, and so he'd pay a fee for that. He always uses up his allowance while I usually have leftover from mine (same amount) and just accumulate a balance to buy stuff later (makeup, skincare, clothes, or gifts that may go over the budgeted amount in our gift budget).
beth - I really don't like to carry cash around, it just seems to disappear faster. I usually use cc's or the debit card. Sometimes, I end up not buying stuff because I don't feel like waiting in a long line. Or I'll use the debit b/c I don't feel like looking for my ID since a lot of places do ask for it when using a cc (and I put "please see ID" after my signature on my cards). At least DH volunteered to not learn the PINs for the joint debit card and hardly ever uses it, but I guess it's b/c he thinks cc's are "different" than cash. Um, not really since I pay it in full each month anyway. But, he makes me laugh so I gotta keep him!
biblio - usually we go over our food budget a little each month as well. But, that's for everyone at least. Plus, I always point out to folks trying to get pregnant, your food budget will go awry just because you never know what kind of food issues you will have and need to accommodate them. Oh, and when you're breastfeeding, you'll be ravenous so watch out for that food budget buster.
I think that I feel like DH is always spending extra money for himself so I don't even think about when I pick up clothes for the kid. Of course, she does have way more clothes than she needs. So, if he stops buying his extra stuff, then I would at least make a conscious effort to not buy the "too cute" dress or outfit that she doesn't need. We'll just work on it some more and see if we can be better about the extra spending.
re: Wills -- technically, no we don't have wills yet. I was doing ours on the do-it-yourself software and finished mine, but we didn't finish DH's. I think we'll need to go see a lawyer anyway because I'd like to set up a trust as well to put the house in a trust for the kids, and maybe part of the life insurance proceeds. Still, the will is a must as the named guardian for the children must be in the will. I hear it can cost $150 - $500 to set it up, depending on how complicated your estate is. Ask friends and family for referrals and you may want to call/meet with a few to see which one you are most comfortable with.
MittenKitten Message #480 - 04/18/08 07:17 PM
Yes I popped LOL!
No time to catch up but wanted to pop in and say hi. We just got home from the hospital.
Skye Marie was born 4/16/08 at 1803 CST. A little peanut at 5 pounds 12 oz and 19 inches long. Will stop back when I can and give details.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:29:59 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #481 - 04/18/08 07:20 PM
Congrats Mitten! I had a feeling.... Your absence is deafening! Best wishes to you, your family and Skye!
jdnstl Message #482 - 04/18/08 07:33 PM
Yeah MK!!! Now you can have a real happy hour and lots of birthday cake!!!
When I finally have this baby I want to have a birthay party with lots of chocolate cake!!
Wisconsin Beth Message #483 - 04/18/08 07:43 PM
way to go MK! Congratulations to you all!
dea_81 Message #484 - 04/18/08 07:45 PM
MittenKitten Message #485 - 04/19/08 12:20 AM
Thanks! FWIW make sure and bring something for your other half to eat. Mine decided to try to pass out as I got the epidural. The almonds and snacks came in handy then. Details (probably more then you want but here they are LOL.) My water broke at 6pm on Tuesday. Had sparatic contractions all night. DF went to work and came home around 11:00 am. Had lunch, took DS#1 to preschool and went to the hospital. There they almost didn't keep me as the tests for my water breaking kept coming back negative. (Even the 98% accurate one.) Finally had the BEST nurse in triage who really listened, found out water with DS#2 broke and had the same problem where they DID send me home even though it had broken (gave birth 2 days later NOT good.) She asked what I thought was going to happen and I told her I had never had contractions like these without having a baby.
anyways she really pushed it with the doctor and they did a last test at 4:30 pm to find out the my water HAD broken. Then tested to see if I was dialated, I was at a 3 and plenty able to have an epidural at that point. So they admitted me, duh.
Once in delivery I warned the nurse that once it's time to push it would move quickly. Had Epidural at around 5:30pm. Somthing just wasn't right and I told her. She explained that the epidural isn't supposed to take away the pressure and I replied No this one isn't like the other 2 I have had, so she checked me. I was ready to go, so she quick calls the doctor starts running around like mad to get everything ready. 6:00 I started pushing, 6:03 she was here.
MittenKitten Message #486 - 04/19/08 12:24 AM
Idea: I have started keeping a journal for all my kids (one per kid.) So an idea is to get a nice little book you can write in and bring it with to the hospital. I try to write in them once a month per kid and just write what is going on in there lives, personalities and things going on around them. So if you like this idea bring the journal to the hospital and you can write about their entrance to the world. I know I could never remember everything DS#1 does and it will be fun later in life to see how they are compared to their kids.
So far kids are doing pretty well with the baby all things considered. Let's hope it continues.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:30:13 GMT -5
Holly Smith Message #487 - 04/19/08 02:29 AM
GusitaRenker Message #488 - 04/19/08 04:04 AM
Congrats mittekitten! And what a beautiful name your little girl has!
Sam814 - 11wks Message #489 - 04/20/08 02:24 AM
Hey guys Its been awhile, but I just wanted to pop in & say I might be joining the ranks again! After the last pregnancy I am really scared that this might end quickly as well, so wish me luck. I wont tell my family until its been at least 12 weeks, but I just had to tell someone
boos_mom Message #490 - 04/20/08 08:02 AM
Sam - congrats! I'm definitely sending you positive thoughts in hope of a successful, healthy pregnancy. I hope you don't think it so rude of me, but are you patching things up with your former DF? Sorry, if you don't want to get into it, just disregard if so.
mitten - that's a good idea about the journal! I think I will try to do that for #2. Although, #1 might be sad at not having one. I did do a calendar and noted 'milestones' and weight/height info, but no thoughts. Maybe with #2, I'll even be able to consistently take a picture each month as he grows. With #1, I only did pics on my cell phone, so they're tiny pictures.
Sam814 - 11wks Message #491 - 04/20/08 05:28 PM
Boos_mom: Not rude at all Definitely not patching things up with the xDF - actually have not spoken to him in weeks. This is a guy that I have known for almost 10 yrs, but just recently started seeing. We will see how that goes, but I am focusing on enjoying this pregnancy & praying things end up well. Thanks!!!!
MittenKitten Message #492 - 04/20/08 11:29 PM
Sam: Congrats and good wishes for a healthy long full term pregnancy! BTW I think the first people I told I was pregnant were on the boards also. Wasn't quite ready to tell anyone else.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:30:38 GMT -5
Sam814 - 11wks Message #493 - 04/21/08 12:20 AM
Thanks Mitten Congrats on your little one - I love that name! I bet she is absolutely adorable
One of my good friends just had a baby, and I went to visit them in the hospital. It was at the tail end of visiting hours, so I didnt want to stay too late. My friend said it was ok, she was tired, but she could not sleep because her baby was just so stinkin cute that she just wanted to sit & look at her some more I totally can not wait for that day!
coset Message #494 - 04/21/08 01:31 AM
Mitten!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't been on for days....long story.............so happy it was on Tuesday -- hope you got all your paperwork done! LOL and if not, oh well!!! h ee heee
Congrats again-- we aren't far behind you!!!
Beth, how are you feeling??
The Reflector - WIR Message #495 - 04/21/08 02:57 AM
Congrats, MK! Is she wearing newborn size clothes yet? Our baby just started wearing newborn size clothes this week so we've gotten to know the preemie size stuff. Our Walmart actually carries a lot of preemie stuff and it's not too expensive, the only other place we found was Gymboree which is expensive. There are online stores too but a lot of them were not as cheap as Walmart - and they have cute stuff!
To answer your question, Baby J (DD #2 sounds too weird) didn't have any significant problems after coming home. The only thing we're having to deal with now is feeding, she is currently on pumped breastmilk fortified with extra calorie formula and with a thickening agent added to make it easier to swallow. That is the latest combo anyway, it's taking a while to figure out what will work for her. Oh, and I can breastfeed 2x per day. In June we go for another video swallow study to see if she's ready to BF full time (I hope so, I hate that freaking pump!).
Sam, I know what you mean, the first people I told about being pregnant (besides DH) were on the boards, I didn't even tell my family until 12 weeks as opposed to DD #1 - then I told everyone when I was 5 weeks, I was so excited. I think we'll go down that road one more time and because of all the complications with this last pregnancy I may wait to tell people until I give birth! Maybe they'll just think I've put on a few pounds?
The Reflector - WIR Message #496 - 04/21/08 03:14 AM
About the stay at home thing - when we had taxes done last year we figured out that 1/3 of my paycheck was going to daycare ($200/wk for HDCP), 1/3 was going to taxes and 1/3 was coming home. I made in the neighborhood of $35K - it should have been more but I had to take time off work without pay whenever DD was sick or if there was any family/home emergency - so take home was around $11K. When we found out that Baby J was on the way we did a cost benefit analysis and because our HDCP was willing to cut us a deal I would have ended up bringing home around $4K per year. We decided for me to keep working, but because Baby J has had such a bumpy road going back to work has not been an option yet (we're under quarantine until RSV season is over and she's been home for over 3 months) I have decided not to go back to work. I battled with the decision before she was born, but only being able to see her for a couple of hours a day in the NICU for 3 months made the decision a whole lot easier. So far I'm exhausted but I've never been happier.
Financial goals with DD:
$5K in baby fund (to pay for my maternity leave)
Own our own home (we moved in when I was 7 months pregnant)
Be married happily for at least 1 year (DD was born 2 weeks after our 2nd anniversary)
Financial goals with Baby J:
$10K in EF - thank goodness we did that, and early too! It's been a real lifesaver having that money available
Financial goals for next baby:
Have house refinanced or otherwise stable before our ARM runs out in 2 years
Build that $10K EF back up - currently at $6K
Have all outstanding hospital bills for Baby J paid for or settled with insurance (pre-insurance numbers are over $250K, yikes!!!)
Sam814 - 11wks Message #497 - 04/21/08 04:41 AM
Has anyone here done cloth diapers? I have been looking at the All-in-one kind (AIO) since they seem a lot easier & it would probably be easier to convince a HDCP to use them (grandma hopefully). Cost wise they will probably even out, but it just seems like the most responsible thing to do. I looked online & the Kushies brand seems to be the cheapest, about $10 per diaper & they come in sizes (newborn, infant, toddler). I was just wondering if anyone found an cheaper way to get these? If not it looks like Sam will be registering for a whole slew of them! They come in packs of 5 - I am guessing that means I will need more packs when they are younger obviously. I wont have another kid for a long time - has anyone resold their diapers when finished? What about buying preused diapers (sanitizing obviously...).
Amazon Hunter Message #498 - 04/21/08 05:26 PM
MittenKitten. Congratulations on your new darling baby!
Reflector. I'm very happy to hear that things are going well with you. It must have been a tough decision to stop working, but I bet you'll love it.
Goals. Thanks to everyone who put their input into the goals before having a baby. It has given me some things to think about. I'm struggling with establishing solid, reasonable goals. Some of them are financial, like build my EF to 15,000,the Baby Fund to 10,000 (to cover medical, time off work, and baby things), payoff 20% of my HELOC, payoff my car (will be done in June), pay off the Best Buy card (~2200 left on it). It seems like a lot, but my DH and I bring home about the same amount each month, so we need to cover almost all of my salary. Neither of us is a breadwinner, so our salaries are equally important. I also need to lose about 10-15 lbs. I have joint issues, so gaining weight puts undo stress on my body, moreso than for other women. I'm trying to get to my personal lowest, yet healthy weight (emphasis on healthy) before we TTC. I also have a hip problem that I'm waiting to see if it is a tear in the cartiledge or not. Until I get that resolved, I'm pretty much on hold. I have to finish up my Master's (I'm waiting on my comprehensive test results to see if I have passed. If so, I will graduate in May.)
Does it seem like I'm waiting for things to be perfect? I think these are all reasonable goals that I can reach next year, but I sometimes look at the list and think I'm going overboard, trying to make things perfect. Although, I am 26 so I have some time and I still have time on my clock right now. Of course if it happened right now, I certainly wouldn't be upset about it. What do you lovely ladies think?
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:30:52 GMT -5
bibliomaniagrl Message #499 - 04/21/08 06:29 PM
AH: I don't think your goals are unreasonable. Particularly if you can do it within a year's time. But I could just be saying that because my goals (financial....don't I wish I had lost some weight before hand) were very similar. I would set a time frame for your goals. That way you will have more incentive to get things done, and not be so concerned about "perfect". You are young (good grief I'm 33 and will be almost 34 when DD is born and she's my first) so you have time you don't need to rush, but having a timeline is nice.
Good luck on your comps! That can be such a stressful time...I remember only too well.
MittenKitten Message #500 - 04/21/08 07:35 PM
AH: I would say if you figure you can accomplish your goals within a year they are not unreasonable. Do what you can and reevaluate in a year where you are in completing your goals. Age and other factors obviously do play a factor. As long as you realize there may never be a "perfect" time to concieve you will be fine. In a year you may say okay I have completed 80% of my goals and can do another 5-10 in the 9 months I will be pregnant and decide to go for it.
Reflector: So glad things are going well. That is perserverance on the breast feeding. Do you think she will have problems latching? I mostly pumped the entire 1st year of DS#1s life as he would not breastfeed well. He had around 80% breastmilk the rest formula. I could nurse him at night but that was it. Newborn clothes are big on her but we are making them work so far. I may go to a thrift store and see what they have.
Thanks for all the good wishes.
MittenKitten Message #501 - 04/21/08 11:29 PM
If you would like to see pictures of Skye here is a link. I will delete it tomorrow, if you would like to see it after I delete it feel free to e-mail me at mittenkittenwir @ gmail.com
boos_mom Message #502 - 04/22/08 01:57 AM
mitten - she's so cute! I don't think #1 looked as good as she does at that age (ours looked rather "beat up", red, peeling and not-so-cute for several weeks).
Amazon - as long as your goals are realistically achievable within a couple of years (and you do a reassessment after each year), it's perfectly okay to hold off. Of course, just be prepared for the flip side, when you're "financially ready" to get pregnant, you may not physically do it according to your "schedule". It can be frustrating, since we can't necessarily control the conception. Goodl luck though!
Reflector - Hopefully, your medical insurance will cover much of those bills (yowsa!). DH's uncle/aunt had preemie twins and I think almost everything was covered and they didn't pay much, but that was 9 years ago and times are a-changing. But, most important is that you're taking such good care of baby. I don't like pumping either (moo!), but the things we sacrifice for them!
Sam - I'm glad that things have gotten better for you since your last post with us on this thread! I was thinking about you and wondering how things were working out for you before you popped over again. I think DH's cousin got some of the Kushies for baby shower gifts. I'll have to ask her how they are, but won't see her for a couple of weeks, if you don't mind waiting.
Anyone have any thoughts to share about post-partum depression/baby blues with a subsequent child? I think I had a pretty mild case with #1, mainly I figure it's just a huge adjustment becoming a mother and trying to reconcile your 'new' identity with your 'old' one. And maybe facing the reality of just how different things are when you bring that baby home. Hormones and BF-ing issues definitely don't help a new mother's situation either. But, anyone want to share if they had a similar reaction with a subsequent baby? One friend's wife did take anti-depressants for a bit after having her first and said that really helped.
(Sorry, not trying to scare new-moms-to-be. Actually, for me it felt like bi-polar mood swings. Sometimes it's just so wonderful and giddy, like falling in love. But, then those days when baby won't nap and you're so exhausted...)
MittenKitten Message #503 - 04/22/08 02:04 AM
I know I am pretty irritable. I try to keep my mouth shut and realize a lot of it is hormonal. Not easy. The second day I was home I had to go to CVS. My mom went with and she would have driven but I decided to drive as I knew I would not handle being a passenger well (I always drive with her and I usually drive with DF.) And I admitted as much to her. She laughed, she does not like to drive anyways.
As for major depression/baby blues I haven't had much of a problem. At least nothing I needed to be medicated for. Although I did end up with some anxiety issues and took trazidone for a bit to sleep. Unfortunately when I took it Ifound I didn't want to wake up, so I stopped taking it.
boos mom: Part of it may have been the whole 3 minutes of pushing before she was out LOL. Luckily enough I warned the nurse before hand that once it came time to push have the doc in the room BEFORE hand.
jdnstl Message #504 - 04/22/08 01:59 PM
MK - she's adorable! and small - 5 lbs isn't much when lots of women are having 7-9 lbs babies.
Question - Did your doc have you pay up front for the delivery? did you end up paying before the baby was born? if so, did the doc end up overcharging what the ins. co. would allow & did you have probs getting your money back? Here's my rant: My doc's office gave me a statement of what i'll owe for a vaginal delivery based on deductible i have to meet & co-insurance. AND they want it paid by may 20. I'M NOT DUE TILL OCTOBER FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!!! i just don't understand how they think they can collect in advance when they don't know how much the ins. co will allow. plus i don't know if the hospital charges are included, i would guess not. but they are trying to charge a fortune up front & i don't think it's right. they're charging me almost $1000 to be paid by mid-may. i just started my EF in jan. & have about $350. i was planning to have that amount saved by the time the baby is born. it's crazy & frustrating & i don't think it's right!!! thanks for letting me rant!
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:31:16 GMT -5
bibliomaniagrl Message #505 - 04/22/08 03:15 PM
jdnstl: That's wicked scary! I haven't heard of paying up front before. My doctor doesn't do that (I'm due in August). I agree that they can't know what it will cost until you deliver. Are they going to refund you money if it costs less? Can you look for a different doctor?
depression: Obviously as you all know I'm going to be having my first so I have no idea how I will be. But I do know that my grandmother had sever post-partum which lead to a nervous breakdown (back in the day when they didn't know much about post-partum). I know that it can run in the family so my DH and I will definitely be on the "look out" for any extremes. I'd rather catch it early.
Holly Smith Message #506 - 04/22/08 04:08 PM
MK: She's so cute and tiny!
WhiteVeils Message #507 - 04/22/08 05:07 PM
Hi, there. I'm new on Women in Red and thought I'd say hello. I'm a full-time working mom of a 3 1/2 yr old and a 1 yr old, and I'm expecting my 3rd in July. DH is a wonderful, wonderful guy who really wanted 3 kids and really is super taking care of them, but sometimes I get scared about how we're going to manage our crazy crew. Congratulations to all the new moms here!
I thought I'd just add some random things on various topics that have beend discussed
1) My favorite pregnancy money-saving tip was something I put together with the pharmacist at my store. I found out from my OB-GYN that the only real difference between the prescription prenatal pills and the Stuart Generic pills is that the prescription ones have DHA/Omega 3s in them and they have anti-nausea medication. However, Fish Oil capsules also have DHA in them. 1 Fish oil capsule contains the same amount of DHA as 1 prescription pre-natal vitamen. For me, for some reason, I was 3 times as nauseous taking the pills with the anti-nausea meds (from the samples) in them as I was taking the generics, so switching to generic + Fish oil made my stomach feel much better and cost much, much less.
2) I use a moses basket instead of a bassinet. It works well, can stay on the floor next to your bed so you can check on the baby at night easily or lift out to feed without getting out of bed, and you can use it as a toy basket or laundry hamper once the baby is out of it.
3) I don't use a separate baby fund because I figure that the costs of the baby are going to have to get incorporated into the general fund eventually. That money you put aside in the baby fund is just your 'first part of the first year of baby' costs. I use my emergency fund to make interest-free loans to myself, though I've not been as good at growing it recently since DH has been out of work for a little while.
4) Once baby #3 is born, just about 100% of my income will go to paying for daycare. It seems like, then, it would be great to stop for a while, at least while all 3 are not in school. I'd like to. But the truth is, if I quit, then there would be some really bad consequences. We are both in IT, and the job market here is such that you never know when a job that looked secure will crumble under you. Having both people out of work from the loss of one job is devastating. If we both work, then we can withdraw the kids from daycare when one of us loses a job, have the out of work parent take care of the kids, and still live within our means until a new job can be found. Even with an emergency fund, if you add rent, COBRA, and expenses, it's almost impossible to keep so much cash in hand that you can survive for the 4 months+ it takes to find a job here with zero income without going into debt. Also, the longer you're out of work, the harder it is to get back into work, especially at a comparible salary. I was a SaHM form for 1 1/2 years, and it was really tough to get back into work. People looked at that resume gap as if it was awful.
boos_mom Message #508 - 04/22/08 06:07 PM
jdn - Most of the providers around here don't charge before the service. But, it may depend on your area, perhaps a lot of the other OBs do that. Or maybe yours is supposedly an in-demand OB, so he does what he wants to do. I would tell them that you won't pay it by May, but you'd be interested in a payment plan. Or, you can look for a new OB. I am assuming your OB has a standard fee and that is what they are basing your cost on. If complications arise, you may need to pay more. But, I can't imagine a birth costing less. Usually, hospital fees, anesthesia and other specialist's fees are separate from the OB. You should certainly be able to ask the doc's office about the fees and billing and then call up your insurance company and ask what are the reimbursable rates for standard deliveries. If your OB won't do the adjustment from what he charges to match what the insurance reimburses, then yes, you would end up paying the difference yourself. At least you have a lot of time to work things out and decide if you'll change OBs.
mitten - I still can't believe you pushed for only 3 minutes! I'm hoping to knock down the pushing time in half, to 45 minutes, but we'll see. I suspect this one will be bigger than #1, so that would be over 8 lbs. Yikes.
Next to go are Holly, Beth and Coset, right? Best wishes ladies!
MittenKitten Message #509 - 04/22/08 11:38 PM
jdn: I agree that is just scary! I have NEVER had the providers ask for money before services were rendered. How do they know who the insurance will pay and who they will determine get to bill you? Sounds strange to me. For DS#1 and #2 I did have out of pocket expenses. DD I will not. I would check with your state general attorney's office and see if this is a regular practice and if it is even legal. MN has some pretty stringent laws protecting patients so I don't know if the providers could even charge you before hand IF they wanted to.
Wisconsin Beth Message #510 - 04/23/08 01:30 PM
Hi Everyone, I got lazy about being online the last few days, so no posts from me. Coset, everything's well. I'm on weekly visits to the ob/gyn now. So no baby yet. 22 more days to due date and we're starting to verbally encourage her to come on out so we can meet her. LOL. We're making progress on her room still. My Mom is making the curtains, so we picked out material yesterday. We're going with cafe style curtains and maybe a ruffle on the top, depending on how Mom's sewing machine holds up. She offered to make a bed skirt and stuff, but I just don't see a point to them, so we're sticking with just curtains.
Still no car. We did a bunch of test driving on Sat. and decided we're going with a Ford Focus. We're going to test drive another one and talk to the dealer tonight, so hopefully this week I'll have wheels again!
I got a thing in the mail from the hospital about prepaying too. But I'm due soon and my insurance is supposed to cover everything, so I'm ignoring it. Jdn maybe they were just trying to be helpful in preparing you for costs? Not that they're known for that, but still, anything's possible!
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:31:30 GMT -5
jdnstl Message #511 - 04/23/08 01:48 PM
I had a doc appt yesterday afternoon & i talked to the lady who handles insurance. she said it's the contracted rate for their office & it's their policy that everyone pays by the 5th mo. i told her i just couldn't do that. she made a note in my file that it won't be paid in full by the due date & i'll be making payments. when i talked to the ins. co. they said the OB can demand payment upfront for delivery. i don't really want to try to find a new OB now. i like the doc, just not the way they handle the ins. stuff. plus that office is next to hospital i'd be delivering at & it's less than 1 mile from my house. i think we're going to use the 'bushy bucks' to pay for the med expenses. when it's all said & done i know this kid's gonna cost me $2500 at least in med bills.... **sigh**
Sam814 - 11wks Message #512 - 04/23/08 10:19 PM
Hey guys I called the nurse today - apparently faint lines are still a positive result. Right now I have a due date of Christmas & I have my first official OB appointment on May 7th. I am so stinkin excited, but scared to death of miscarrying again.
Wisconsin Beth Message #513 - 04/24/08 02:57 PM
Congratulations Sam! I hope everything goes well for you. Beth
GusitaRenker Message #514 - 04/24/08 06:38 PM
Holly Smith Message #515 - 04/24/08 06:55 PM
Hey guys I called the nurse today - apparently faint lines are still a positive result. Right now I have a due date of Christmas & I have my first official OB appointment on May 7th. I am so stinkin excited, but scared to death of miscarrying again.
Congrats! Remember that the vast majority of women who have had a miscarriage go on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy.
Sam814 - 11wks Message #516 - 04/24/08 07:00 PM
well, it looks like it might have been too soon for the congrats just yet Looks like I am having another miscarriage Hopefully someday when the time is right this will work out. Thanks for the good wishes though, and I hope you guys all have great luck with your pregnancies! Someday I will be able to join this thread & stay on a bit longer!!
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:31:55 GMT -5
GusitaRenker Message #517 - 04/24/08 07:16 PM
Aw Sam, I am so sorry My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Wisconsin Beth Message #518 - 04/24/08 07:24 PM
I'm so sorry Sam.
Have you been checked for Factor IV(pronouced like the #4?) It's a problem that leads to m/c unless dealt with. Some of my cousins have it and had babies, but a couple of them needed to have daily shots to keep from m/c. I think it's genetic thing, but I'm VERY hazy on the details. I was tested for it, because of my cousins and because my Mom was insistant on it (the only thing, really.) It's either a simple blood test, I think.
boos_mom Message #519 - 04/24/08 07:29 PM
Sam - I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself and remember that we are here for you.
Also, definitely consider having tests run to see if you can find out whether there is an issue. At least, if there is one and treatment can be provided, then you can find out now and incorporate that toward your future planning.
MittenKitten Message #520 - 04/24/08 08:19 PM
Sam: Our best wishes and thoughts are with you.
bibliomaniagrl Message #521 - 04/25/08 02:18 PM
So sorry Sam! I agree with the ladies above and would try to get tested.
Holly Smith Message #522 - 04/25/08 05:24 PM
Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you'll be back with us soon.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:32:09 GMT -5
bogart Message #523 - 04/26/08 02:06 AM
I'm so sorry about your losses. There are testable, treatable things that cause miscarriages and while some doctors can be surprisingly (IMO) reluctant to test for them, you may want to look into this.
There is an assortment of (blood) clotting disorders, of which Factor V Leiden (mentioned above, I think), is one. At least some do involve a genetic link (i.e. if there is any history of clotting disorders, strokes, etc. in your family you are more likely to have them) Another common and easily and safely treatable problem that causes miscarriage is hypothyroidism (which I have -- this is how I know so much about this -- I do not have any medical training, I'm just a person who went through a lot to achieve a healthy pregnancy and had to learn a lot to get there). There is also a genetic link with that. If you get tested for hypothyroidism, make sure that you get your actual test results and that your doctor is aware that the new thinking is that TSH -- the hormone typically used as the first test of thyroid function) should be less than 3.0; until a few years ago it was thought that up to 5.0 was OK and many doctors are not aware of the new recommendations (I can provide references if you'd like!).
I forget who was asking about this, but thyroid problems can also emerge post partum and trigger depression, definitely important to get thyroid function checked then if you are having problems.
OK...hope that information is helpful...
Amazon Hunter Message #524 - 04/29/08 03:23 PM
First of all - I wanted to say that I'm so sorry for those of you who have been experiencing bad news and various problems. I hope you are well, Sam.
Vent and Question
Ok, so DH is really frustrating. After not mentioning the baby subject for a while (about a month and a half), which was a great accomplishment for me, he says that we should start trying this year. So, I ask him a few days later when this year. He says "I don't know. I can't just come up with something off the top of my head." And that's it... He doesn't say that he has these goals before we start trying, or that he thinks this or that. Just "I don't know." So, when he says that he can't just pull an answer out of thin air, I assume that he'll actually think about it and have a suggestion at least by the next time I ask him about it. Nope. What does he say? "I don't know. I can't just come up with an answer on the fly." I do have to say that he is like this with everything--unable to develop any long-term plans for anything, but it doesn't make it easier. Especially when it is something this important. Am I just supposed to wait for him to roll over one day and say, "Ok, let's start now." I'm all about planning, but he's just not giving me anything to work with. You all know that you can just decide one day... Well, you can, but there are things to talk about and decide beforehand... Right?
So, my question is have any of you had to deal with this type of situation? If so, how did you deal with it? I talked to him about it this morning and his pattern of never having an answer for ANYTHING. I think he didn't realize what he was doing, but although he does realize it now, I don't know if it will make a difference. I just wanted to add, though, that my DH is a great man. He's just not the most decisive guy around. So, what do you ladies think?
dea_81 Message #525 - 04/29/08 04:19 PM
My DH and I have the same discussion a lot. He finally admitted, though it was like pulling teeth to get an answer out of him when I ask a question about plans etc he believes there are two outcomes 1) I have a plan and he is pretty sure what ever his opinion is I will get my way so it is easier to go with the flow and stay out of the way. or 2) He really just never thinks about the specific topic we are discussing. He says I waste too much time worrying about things in the future and he doesn't waste time and energy doing that.
The male brain....a very scary place. Hope that adds some insight.
mrslynch Message #526 - 04/29/08 05:27 PM
AH--my husband was very similar to yours when it came to deciding to have a baby. he couldn't really give me a reason why he wanted to wait nor could he come up with a time frame as to when he wanted to start trying. finally, after a lot of discussing and arguing, we came to an agreement (which was way later than when i wanted and way earlier than he wanted). it took a lot of coaxing to finally get him to tell me why he was so indecisive about it and when it all boiled down, he was afraid. i'm not saying this is true of your dh, but it may be part of it.
MK--congrats on your little girl. i hope everyone is getting along well!
general question--my dd is almost 17 months now and we're working on using a spoon. she gets the idea, it getting the food to land in her mouth that's a problem. did any of you find it easier teaching your toddlers to eat with a spoon or a fork? also, we've been having a lot of problems with the velcro on her bibs lasting (she's a disaster when she eats--a bib is a necessity)--any recommendations on a good brand of plastic bibs?
Amazon Hunter Message #527 - 04/29/08 06:00 PM
dea_81 and mrslynch - Thanks for the input. It may be that he's scared, but why tell me he wants to start this year, then not be able to tell me a date, a month, or even a season? Heck, the year is a 1/3 of the way done. When, then, should we start planning? A day before? He should have just said next year or whatever.
Admittedly, I am a planner at heart (it makes me feel better to have major life issues planned in advance. so sue me. ) and my DH is not, but could it really be considered a waste to plan for a child?
He really just never thinks about the specific topic we are discussing. He says I waste too much time worrying about things in the future and he doesn't waste time and energy doing that.
Seriously, if you plan for nothing else in your life, you should try to plan that. I agree that the male mind is indeed a scary place. Again, although I am the planner, I always seek my DH's input. I don't want a plan that doesn't fit what he wants, or at least one that doesn't include a compromise. It's just getting him to provide input... Who knows?
mrslynch Message #528 - 04/29/08 06:06 PM
have you tried framing it in a context that makes him understand why you're planning (money, not wanting to be preggo in the summer, wanting to take a baby-free vacation, etc) rather than just saying you need to plan? that might make it more concrete instead of just an abstract "i need to plan"-type statement. i am a hard-core planner, too, so i completely understand your frustration.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:32:33 GMT -5
boos_mom Message #529 - 04/29/08 08:15 PM
AH - perhaps your DH really has some other "fears" about having a baby that he may not be ready to verbalize yet, maybe he does not even realize that those fears are keeping him from being able to say when. I know my DH was kind of worried/anxious about becoming a father, even though he actually said he wanted to start trying. And, DH is very similar to dea's in that he complains when I "ask" him a question but have a different answer to his response. I just offer additional suggestions, it doesn't mean either of us is wrong or right. Just many options are available. Perhaps, if you identified your goals (and timeframe) that you want to reach before trying and see if he thinks those are good goals to achieve before trying.
mrslynch - I think we used sporks, spoons and plastic forks (which seemed to pierce and hold pasta better than sporks). The main thing is getting the practice b/c the actual target achievement may take a while. I would just take off tops and bottoms and wipe the kid up after the meal. If you're not at home, then maybe you can have an "eating outfit" that you change into and out of after meals. I also found a vinyl art apron with armholes, covers much of the top and a little of the lap, and has a velcro closure was wonderful for eating time (especially spaghetti)! Easy clean up, but a little warm during the summer. Consider doing a couple of cloth aprons if you can't find vinyl.
We had our weekend vacation and it was really nice. Poor boo didn't want to come home. I ate way too much though. Ugh. I also had my 28 week check last week and will be going every 2 weeks now. My doc will be on leave for several weeks toward the end of my pregnancy as her husband is having surgery done. I hope her covering OB will be okay, but I'm hoping to hold out until about 38.5 weeks, so she should be back by then. We'll see if baby cooperates...
MittenKitten Message #530 - 04/29/08 09:27 PM
my DF is not a planner. My planning and telling him when we should do things usually works for him. Why don't you see if he is thinking fall or winter time? Purhaps if you give him your timeline and what will be accomplished by then he will agree? I agree the male mind IS a scary place.
Anyways I am sleep deprived but find I can read the posts as I nurse, just not respond. In fact I have the baby in my lap right now and am typing one handed LOL
Amazon Hunter Message #531 - 04/29/08 10:15 PM
Well, we've talked about his fears (growing apart as a couple, money issues), but he says that he wants to try anyway. Part of the problem is that he won't even tell me a season or anything. I did just really bring this issue up today (him not making a decision), so we will see where it goes from here. One thing though is that he has 2 boys from a previous marriage and we adopted 2 girls together (they were my sister's girls. She passed away several years ago and we adopted them about 2 years ago). All four are 10, 7, 7, and 5. So, it's not like we don't have children already and that we would be giving up some kind of freewheeling lifestyle. If that were the case, I would definately understand that. I know part of the fear is that we won't be able to take care of 5 kids financially, but we are doing more than fine right now. That's part of what I'm trying to plan for. We stop paying alimony in August of this year, so I'm thinking that I will link our TTC to that and give him that suggestion. We can use it as a starting point.
Holly Smith Message #532 - 04/30/08 01:49 AM
Message to Princess Elizabeth: OUT!!!!
Your eviction notice has officially been served.
MittenKitten Message #533 - 04/30/08 02:40 AM
Holly: I feel for you.
so on a really odd note. I belong to the local MOMs club. We have a new member who doesn't have kids but should be delivering any day (in fact may already have done so.) I will bet money that this woman was one of my nurses at the hospital 2 weeks ago. (I haven't offically met her but read about her in our news letter.)
AH: Who can figure the male mind, I hope you can get it all straightened out. He may not be able to put his fear into words. That is a ton of responsibility. I applaud you in taking in your sister's kids. Although if you are anything like our family it's not as if you would have done anything BUT take them in. Do you guys have custody of DHs sons?
The Reflector - WIR Message #534 - 04/30/08 03:18 AM
Sam, my thoughts are with you. DH's aunts both had several miscarriages but went on to have healthy children. They have a blood clotting disorder MTHFR which they just recently found out about. Since almost losing Baby J so many people have talked to me about their miscarriages, I had no idea that so many women I am close to have had them. I don't know if that helps or not but I know the knowledge that I wasn't the only one out there having a rough time of it was comforting to me.
Amazon, I'm guessing that your husband either has no idea how to or why planning for a baby is so important (the whole let nature take it's course thing) or he's a little apprehensive about having a baby (totally normal guy behavior). What I do with my husband sometimes is plan out loud when he's in the room. For example I'll say while doing the dishes: "I found out today that there is a 10 month waiting period with the new insurance before they cover maternity so I figure we'll wait about a year and then start trying for another baby. Does that sound about right to you? If we get pregnant right away then the baby will be born in the fall." I just chatter along and he usually agrees with me, no matter what we're discussing. If he doesn't agree then we'll have an actual discussion about it.
Baby J has been having tummy problems and screaming all day long. The doctor suggested last week that we put formula in the thickened breastmilk to help her grow faster and promote brain development (something they do for the preemies). I'm not sure if it's the formula that's causing such pain or just regular baby gassy stuff. Has anyone else had problems with formula? We never gave it to DD so this is a whole new concept for me. I will be relieved when we get the word that she can breastfeed full time although we'll probably still have to suppliment with formula for the above stated reasons. Right now she's getting Similac Neosure 22 calerie formula, 1tsp to every 3oz of breastmilk.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:32:47 GMT -5
The Reflector - WIR Message #535 - 04/30/08 03:29 AM
MK, I too have a baby on my lap! I have to see if she'll stay asleep if I put her down so that I can go pump one more time tonight. Oh, how I hate that pump.
Mrs Lynch, with DD we just stripped her down before meals and scrubbed her with a wet washcloth after. They do get the hang of it eventually, but the learning process can be pretty messy. For times when we weren't at home we found a couple of bibs that fit over her head like a shirt rather than fastening in the back. We still use those when she eats yogurt because she gets it everywhere.
mrslynch Message #536 - 04/30/08 02:30 PM
bathtime now immediately follows dinner on certain nights! she's getting the hang of using a spoon, we've just got a long way to go. she picked up on the sippy cup pretty quickly (around 8 months) so i'm hoping this goes the same.
thanks for the advice on the bibs/stripping down. it gets to the point that she's so messy from daycare that the bib is really just to not make it any worse. i have never gone through stain stick so fast in my life .
Amazon Hunter Message #537 - 04/30/08 04:42 PM
MK - DH's sons live in another state, but of course we provide child support for them. We also take every opportunity to go see them. All of our vacation time is spent with them in the summer time and during Christmas, when possible. It's interesting when we have all four together though. The kids get along great and have a wonderful time playing together, but sometimes I feel like I'm leading a circus. Taking all of them out by myself to go shopping for DH's b-day present last June was certainly funny/interesting.
Reflector - Well, we've talked about it some more, so I've discovered it's exactly what I thought. He said this year, but he still isn't really on board. He's afraid of us growing apart/not being able to spend enough time together. I'm concerned with that as well because infants are so needy, but I'm willing to come up with solutions to us staying close, whereas he simply dwells on the problem. Who knows if this is something he'll ever get over. I talk about the plans out loud, but he just stares or starts talking about something else. Maybe after our discussions he'll start thinking about the issue. Maybe not.
boos_mom Message #538 - 04/30/08 06:34 PM
mrslynch - Oh, I forgot to mention that I have seen these cute "bibs" at a craft fair. You take a regular dish towel and cut out a circle in the middle for baby's head and then sew in t-shirt crewneck ribbing and voila, a "bib". Of course, you could try it with a baby bath towel instead (larger) and even do without the neck ribbing. Something to consider. Oh, and I don't bother sending the kid in anything nice to daycare/sitter. Why bother? So, all of her daycare clothes are purchased from the thrift store.
AH - It does appear that DH is worried about those early years. So, even though you guys have kids, they are all older and you as a couple only dealt with older kids. Perhaps if start certain "traditions" for couple time and then ensure that you get a sitter/relative to help out when baby arrives to maintain those traditions, that might make it easier for him. So, actions rather than just talking might help alleviate his concerns. Of course, your DH is right, your couple time will take a hit no matter what. But, quality over quantity. And, for us just working together to help take care of our baby did bring a whole new element to our relationship. I know I love my DH even more after seeing what a great father he has been and how much she adores her daddy.
Holly - hopefully Elizabeth will accept her notice!
Amazon Hunter Message #539 - 04/30/08 06:50 PM
boos_mom - That is a good suggestion about arranging things rather than talking about it. I love going out on dates with my DH and spending quality time with him. I get on his case if we don't, actually. I have no qualms about getting a babysitter for my kids for adult time. I am sure that this will change a little bit with an infant, but I also have many people where I live who, although they are not my family, I consider family, who would absolutely love to spend time with baby so we can spend time together. I too was thinking that us working together to care for our child would also bring a different kind of strength to the relationship. Perhaps it just needs to sink in a bit longer. I don't really know that there is much that I can say or do at this point to ease his fears... I think this is something that he'll have to deal with on his own, to make the decision to work harder at this. I can only say that I'm dedicated to this relationship and hope that he believes it.
Thanks so much everyone for the comments. They have helped me keep perspective and gain some new ideas about this situation. I really appreciate it. As you all will understand, this is a pretty important issue to me, and, potentially, to us as a couple.
Amazon Hunter Message #540 - 04/30/08 06:53 PM
Holly Smith - Good luck with the eviction notice! You must be so excited/tired/impatient/happy. My co-worker's wife is in the same shape, just hoping their son abides by his eviction notice as well. Here in AZ, the temperature is steadily climbing, so she is really hoping it happens soon before it starts hitting the 90s.
Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 5, 2011 19:33:12 GMT -5
Amazon Hunter Message #541 - 04/30/08 06:55 PM
Reflector - I read some articles/blogs on another site about formula problems. Some moms said that their baby was gassy and fussy on specialized formula, so they switched to a soy formula and noticed an immediate turnaround. Maybe that would help, but I really don't have a clue.
Holly Smith Message #542 - 04/30/08 10:06 PM
Has anyone else had problems with formula?
My sister had problems, and it turned out her daughter was allergic to it. Said daughter is lactose intolerant, and that's how she found out. Apparently one of my brother's sons also had an allergy to something in the formula they were using, although it wasn't lactose. Can you try a different brand?
The Reflector - WIR Message #543 - 04/30/08 11:45 PM
I suspect it's a lactose intolerance because we found out DD was lactose intolerant when she stopped breastfeeding at 15 months. It took us a few weeks to figure out why she was screaming all night! The problem is that the only two specialty high calorie formulas are milk based. We were on human milk fortifier for a while but it was rapidly approaching $100 per week! I wonder if we can try a soy based or hypoallergenic formula and just have it be more concentrated. I'll have to ask the nutritionist again. I keep mentioning my theory to the pediatrician and the nutritionist and they're kind of blowing it off. They say that if it was really a lactose intolerance problem then when I drink milk it would affect her and it doesn't. I wish she didn't have to have formula period, but they keep stressing that it's important for her brain development since she missed the last trimester.
The Reflector - WIR Message #544 - 04/30/08 11:49 PM
Holly, I remember that feeling! With DD I didn't want to go to work on Monday so on Sunday I tried all kinds of things to bring on labor. I got romantic with DH in the morning, walked around all day, had my mom give me a foot massage, I even jumped up and down! I guess it worked, my water broke at 8:30pm and I didn't have to go to work, I got to have a baby instead! Good luck to you.
boos_mom Message #545 - 05/01/08 01:05 AM
I keep mentioning my theory to the pediatrician and the nutritionist and they're kind of blowing it off. They say that if it was really a lactose intolerance problem then when I drink milk it would affect her and it doesn't.
That's really strange for them to be so blase and disbelieving. I mean lactose-intolerance in babies is so common! Duh, that's why they have all of those different kinds of formulae. Of course, it does bite that the high calorie stuff does not have non-lactose formulae. Anyway, I hope they wise up and figure out a way to help you and baby j get what you both need - sleep and a brain developing non-lactose formula. Just a note: we started out using Similac but found out through the freebie can that we actually liked the way the Enfamil formula was made (less gritty, much finer powder, dissolved more easily). We didn't do a taste test comparison though, and kid did not seem to care either way. You may want to check out Enfamil's non-lactose stuff and see if it helps.
boos_mom Message #546 - 05/01/08 01:17 AM
Reflector - I did a quick search and found this info for lactose intolerance in babies:
The difficulties can be caused by two different substances: milk sugar (lactose) and [www.drgreene.com/21_106.html] milk protein. Each of these substances produces its own particular problems. Lactose is the sugar in milk. It is the same for any kind of milk--breast, cow, goat, or sheep. A person who is lactose intolerant tends to have gassy symptoms, bloating, and diarrhea after eating dairy foods. These symptoms can be avoided if the person drinks lactose-free milk. Alternatively he or she could take pills such as Lactaid, which enable the intestines to digest lactose without any problem.There are far more people in the world who do not tolerate lactose than people who do. About 80% of all people over age 3 are lactose intolerant. This statistic applies to Native Americans, Asians from the Far East, Southeast Asians, Africans, African-Americans, and Native Australians. It does not apply to Caucasians, however: only 15% of Caucasians in the U.S. are lactose intolerant.
The statistic also does not apply to [www.drgreene.com/54_5.html] babies. Infants from all parts of the world do tolerate lactose--otherwise they couldn't digest breast milk well. Their bodies make an enzyme, lactase, which enables them to digest the sugar in milk. As a result, in healthy full-term infants lactose intolerance is extremely rare. It is more common in premature babies, who are sometimes lactose intolerant until they begin to approach their original due dates. At that point, their bodies start making lactase. [www.drgreene.com/54_4.html] Newborn lactose intolerance is quite obvious, usually manifesting as discomfort with each feeding. Babies with lactose intolerance are treated with [www.drgreene.com/21_797.html] formula that is based on cow's milk but is lactose-free, or else with a [www.drgreene.com/21_536.html] soy-based formula. Elemental formulas, which are much more "pre-digested" than usual formulas, also work well for these infants.
Healthy full-term babies can temporarily become lactose intolerant, though, during and after a bout of [www.drgreene.com/21_581.html] diarrhea, since diarrhea can cause them to lose the enzyme. Infants regain their tolerance after the diarrhea has ended and their bodies have had time to make more of the enzyme. Eventually, however, in most populations as the babies mature their bodies gradually make less and less lactase. As they grow into toddlerhood, they no longer tolerate milk of any kind.
The other component of milk that can cause people problems is its protein, which comes in two basic forms--casein and whey. The specific proteins differ slightly depending on which mammal the milk is from. The mammal whose milk most often creates digestive difficulties for humans is the cow. Intolerance to cow's milk protein follows the opposite pattern from lactose intolerance, since it is not uncommon in newborns but becomes much less common the older children get. It is estimated that between 2% and 7.5% of healthy infants have significant intolerance to the protein in cow's milk. The problem is particularly common in families with strong histories of [www.drgreene.com/21_647.html] eczema, [www.drgreene.com/54_10.html] allergies, or [www.drgreene.com/21_806.html] asthma.
Babies with this intolerance can have discomfort even if they are exclusively breast fed. The difficulty arises when the mother eats or drinks cow's milk protein. The protein passes into her breast milk and from there into the baby's digestive system. Antibodies to this protein have been found in infants who are intolerant, providing evidence of the link between the mother's diet and her baby's digestive troubles.
A study published in the January 1996 Journal of the American Dietetic Association looked carefully at infants' symptoms of fussiness or colic and how they varied with maternal consumption of 15 different foods. Maternal consumption of cow's milk was far more associated with the symptoms of colic than consumption of any other food. The study found that women who drank cow's milk were twice as likely to have infants with colic compared to other breast feeding moms. Another study found that half of women with colicky babies who dropped cow's milk saw marked improvement in their babies' symptoms. A third investigatio