Colleenz
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Jun 27, 2011 13:50:18 GMT -5
Post by Colleenz on Jun 27, 2011 13:50:18 GMT -5
Why should she Sugar Daddy? She knows just how to get you to back off about it.
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Deleted
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Jun 27, 2011 13:51:03 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 13:51:03 GMT -5
is there a reason we're still talking about this?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Jun 27, 2011 13:52:19 GMT -5
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 27, 2011 13:52:19 GMT -5
She might need to get a 'shit job' just to have paid work experience. I thought volunteering counted as experience when I graduated and I was told point blank by an interviewer that unless it was a PAID volunteer experience, like an intership, all that "work" I did did not count for crap.
Don't know if all interviewers look at it that way and I know a lot of books about re-entering the workforce suggest "putting volunteer work" on your resume as experience, but if she isn't getting hired anywhere after three years even with her volunteer work then it is probably her lack of actual paid work history.
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souldoubt
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Jun 27, 2011 13:52:54 GMT -5
Post by souldoubt on Jun 27, 2011 13:52:54 GMT -5
Yes, this is total snark. Loop was given many valid ways to earn extra $$ in the other thread and hadf every excuse why she could not. Congratulations Dark - you married your sister. I have no problem with her taking the opportunity to find something that she'll actually enjoy. It's one of the luxuries I never really had because we chose to have kids so young. Being stuck in a career path you don't like is a pretty crappy feeling. I totally get that. All I question is the time line. She started going back to school like 6 or 7 years ago at this point. She graduated three years ago. Go ahead and take some time to figure out a rewarding or enjoyable way to make some money instead of taking the first shit job that comes along. I just question whether or not that process takes three years. Dark you know it doesn't. If you don't "figure it out" after so long then it's because things aren't what you thought they were and you need to lower expectations. I realize she's a SAHM so it's not like she's sitting on the couch watching oprah all day doing nothing but she obviously benefits from the fact that you guys can get by on your income. In essence your income is enabling her to sit around and wait for the dream job that isn't going to happen and after a point it's taking advantage of the situation.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 13:53:03 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 13:53:03 GMT -5
Dark, why is Loop not getting the simple message people on here are trying to get across? There are the WANTS and then there are the NEEDS. Loop's needs outweigh her wants! She simply cannot afford to be choosy! That's not the greatest argument in our situation. Technically Loop doesn't NEED to work at all. I make enough to cover our needs, our saving, and a good bit of wants. Loop working would be icing on the cake, but we don't NEED her to bring in a paycheck to keep our heads above water.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 13:55:26 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 13:55:26 GMT -5
is there a reason we're still talking about this? Nobody is forcing you to read it. Feel free to go to another thread and talk about some other money related subject that's already been beaten to death on this board numerous times.
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strider
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Jun 27, 2011 13:55:52 GMT -5
Post by strider on Jun 27, 2011 13:55:52 GMT -5
I was told when I graduated by several companies that internships and EVEN PAID JOBS during school didn't count as experience. I was asked by the interviewer one time about working in a computer repair shop and they said point blank "Well you don't have actual work experience if you're in school."
Yeah that pissed me off a little bit. So now I have a 'real' job they can't tell me it was meaningless as experience.
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Colleenz
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Jun 27, 2011 13:58:02 GMT -5
Post by Colleenz on Jun 27, 2011 13:58:02 GMT -5
Dark - What about your NEED of feeling like your marriage is a partnership.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Jun 27, 2011 13:58:58 GMT -5
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 27, 2011 13:58:58 GMT -5
Yeah that pissed me off a little bit. So now I have a 'real' job they can't tell me it was meaningless as experienceIt did me too because they were all related to the field I am in and everything I had read and been told said to do this stuff so I could get a job! It was my totally non-related waitressing experience that finally got me in because it was "work experience". Go figure.
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swasat
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Jun 27, 2011 14:01:33 GMT -5
Post by swasat on Jun 27, 2011 14:01:33 GMT -5
Dark, why is Loop not getting the simple message people on here are trying to get across? There are the WANTS and then there are the NEEDS. Loop's needs outweigh her wants! She simply cannot afford to be choosy! That's not the greatest argument in our situation. Technically Loop doesn't NEED to work at all. I make enough to cover our needs, our saving, and a good bit of wants. Loop working would be icing on the cake, but we don't NEED her to bring in a paycheck to keep our heads above water. From what you have told us till now she definitely NEEDS to work to get over her depression! If she is so upset about her job scenario then its a need. Does she even want to work or not? You and her keep saying that she is desparate for a job but at the same time you (and her!) say that its not for the finances that she needs to work. What is it for then? I know what you said. A part time job is the sweet deal you guys want. But all part time jobs are lower paid jobs these days. The type of part time job she wants, in this economy, they are few and far in between. Its time to lower expectations.
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strider
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Jun 27, 2011 14:01:42 GMT -5
Post by strider on Jun 27, 2011 14:01:42 GMT -5
Yeah that pissed me off a little bit. So now I have a 'real' job they can't tell me it was meaningless as experienceIt did me too because they were all related to the field I am in and everything I had read and been told said to do this stuff so I could get a job! It was my totally non-related waitressing experience that finally got me in because it was "work experience". Go figure. Stupid thing was that it WAS related to my field now in IT. I'm a system's administrator now. So yeah, hate to be the person working there now. It just wasn't meant to be thankfully!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:06:09 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:06:09 GMT -5
Seems like a good idea, 'eh folks? Shall we all drop it and move on? [image]
Iggy MoD And there it is again. No fighting, no name calling, none of the stuff you guys said got the old thread moved, but I still get somebody in here telling me to drop it using the mod sig. What is your guy's problem with discussing our money related marriage issues just because we both post on the board? If Loop didn't post here, none of you would bat an eye that there's a thread discussing her going to work instead of staying home.
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midjd
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Jun 27, 2011 14:07:27 GMT -5
Post by midjd on Jun 27, 2011 14:07:27 GMT -5
Yeah, I don't think there is anything wrong with this thread - I can see why the first one was deleted, because there were a few low blows and personal slams, but we're all being good in this one...
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:08:21 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:08:21 GMT -5
Dark, I was acting under direction of Moon. I'm sure you were, but she can feel free to answer my question as well.
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Deleted
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Jun 27, 2011 14:10:29 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 14:10:29 GMT -5
I can understand Loop's frustration. Dark seems to be all over the place. I think she had a job she wanted at the end of the school year, but he vetoed it because it wouldn't pay enough (he thinks she should be able to find a job for $20 an hour). He seems to want her to get any job that works around his and the kids schedule, so their lifestyle won't change. She seems to want a job that will become a better job, but won't pay much to start. She has said repeatedly that she will look for a job when the school year starts up. I don't think she knows what to do with the kids (and feels he is putting that on her), since summer has already started and most of her prospect won't cover the cost of summer daycare.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:11:05 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:11:05 GMT -5
If she is so upset about her job scenario then its a need. Does she even want to work or not? You and her keep saying that she is desparate for a job but at the same time you (and her!) say that its not for the finances that she needs to work. I honestly don't know whether she really wants to work or not. I think probably both. Personally, I think she'll be a lot happier if she can a find a job, but probably just something part time because I know being there for the kids is important to her. Financially we don't need her to work, but damn it would be nice.
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Deleted
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Jun 27, 2011 14:12:11 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 14:12:11 GMT -5
Dark, I didn't say anyone was forcing me to read it. I just fail to see what good it's doing to continue this conversation.
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Deleted
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Jun 27, 2011 14:12:23 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 14:12:23 GMT -5
Even back in 1974, it was hard for English majors to get a job in their "field" because, as others have pointed out, there is no field that specifically requires a degree in English. Now people major in education with a specialization in language arts or mass com or advertising, etc. if they want a job. Or they graduate and within a year are "back in school" to pick up the teaching credential they made fun of the first time around.
English majors typically end up in entry-level business jobs. They become administrative assistants, bank tellers, insurance claims specialists, etc. Many work their way up. But they have to start somewhere.
I personally think it is a mistake to push Loop into the low-skill jobs like McDonald's or retail that she could have performed without the degree. It is insulting. Instead, you should be encouraging her to look at entry-level business jobs that require basically only a college degree without specifying which. Be prepared for her to work hard for not much money and for her work to mess up the SAHP life you both enjoy now. That is, if you honestly want her to someday have a career that takes some of the pressure off you as sole breadwinner . . .
I'm sure there will be lots of posts about how it is not "insulting" to suggest that she set her sites on McDonalds and/or cleaning house. But you know that Loop is a smart woman who is capable of more. She just has to find a place to start. That might be with her college placement center.
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Deleted
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Jun 27, 2011 14:17:23 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 14:17:23 GMT -5
I guess if I'm posting here, I might as well try to be helpful.
Has Loop tried looking at the Media Bistro website? There are lots of part-time, gig, and some work from home opportunities. If she runs a blog now, there are people and companies that actually pay people to run blogs. Huffington Post was all over the Media Bistro job boards, and that's right up her alley.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:17:36 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:17:36 GMT -5
I just fail to see what good it's doing to continue this conversation. Writing about it helps me think through and deal with it. I honestly don't care right now whether or not there's any benefit for you guys, there is for me.
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moon/Laura
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Jun 27, 2011 14:21:48 GMT -5
Post by moon/Laura on Jun 27, 2011 14:21:48 GMT -5
I just fail to see what good it's doing to continue this conversation. this is why Iggy requested that the conversation move on. because it doesn't seem to be accomplishing anything.. however, if YOU think it's serving a purpose, fine.. i just don't want it to get back to what the previous one was, that's all.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:21:53 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:21:53 GMT -5
I personally think it is a mistake to push Loop into the low-skill jobs like McDonald's or retail that she could have performed without the degree. It is insulting. Instead, you should be encouraging her to look at entry-level business jobs that require basically only a college degree without specifying which. That's what I was suggesting when she first graduated. She felt like she wasn't qualified for anything. A lot of the any degree required jobs were low level management. Shift managers at retail places, that sort of thing. She was uncomfortable with that, to the point that I don't think she even applied to any. Part of the reason I think a job will be so good for her is because she could really use the self esteem boost.
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swamp
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Jun 27, 2011 14:23:56 GMT -5
Post by swamp on Jun 27, 2011 14:23:56 GMT -5
I personally think it is a mistake to push Loop into the low-skill jobs like McDonald's or retail that she could have performed without the degree. It is insulting. Instead, you should be encouraging her to look at entry-level business jobs that require basically only a college degree without specifying which. That's what I was suggesting when she first graduated. She felt like she wasn't qualified for anything. A lot of the any degree required jobs were low level management. Shift managers at retail places, that sort of thing. She was uncomfortable with that, to the point that I don't think she even applied to any. Part of the reason I think a job will be so good for her is because she could really use the self esteem boost. Loop is bright enough that if she takes one of those entry level jobs, they'll probably make her an asst. manager pretty quickly. I don't think that would hurt a resume.............
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Jun 27, 2011 14:24:11 GMT -5
Post by mtntigger on Jun 27, 2011 14:24:11 GMT -5
Has she tried local temp agencies? Even filing in an office environment could get her some contacts.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:27:49 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:27:49 GMT -5
this is why Iggy requested that the conversation move on. because it doesn't seem to be accomplishing anything.. What do any of Dox's thread accomplish? Go hassle her for a while. Cawaiu has started what; three dozen? more? threads about his wife, go hassle him for a while. Why do Loop and I get singled out and told to leave when we discuss our spouse in a money related way on this board? I get why the other thread was deleted. I really do. This thread is no different from other ones that are allowed on this board though as long as the spouse in question isn't able to come post on their own behalf at some point. It's just a weird policy that I don't really understand that's all. Could you please explain it to me? It's not just the new board either, the mods on the old one got weirded out when both spouses in the relationship would post as well. ETA - So we're clear, I have no problem with either Dox or Cawaiu (am I spelling that right yet?) and usually enjoy their threads. I'm just using them as an example.
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swamp
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Jun 27, 2011 14:29:18 GMT -5
Post by swamp on Jun 27, 2011 14:29:18 GMT -5
Dark, seeing such conflict makes people uneasy.
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Cookies Galore
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Jun 27, 2011 14:30:04 GMT -5
Post by Cookies Galore on Jun 27, 2011 14:30:04 GMT -5
I guess if I'm posting here, I might as well try to be helpful. Has Loop tried looking at the Media Bistro website? There are lots of part-time, gig, and some work from home opportunities. If she runs a blog now, there are people and companies that actually pay people to run blogs. Huffington Post was all over the Media Bistro job boards, and that's right up her alley. Good idea, I used to find quick freelance jobs there. I work in editing and I used to man a company's blog, so there are jobs out there for people with English-type degrees (mine was journalism). Not a boatload, but jobs nonetheless. Loop is quite bright, I will keep my fingers crossed that some sort of writing work will materialize. I will say, though, that it took me two years after graduation for one of my small-time editing jobs to turn into a full-time position.
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Jun 27, 2011 14:31:17 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2011 14:31:17 GMT -5
Has she tried local temp agencies? Even filing in an office environment could get her some contacts. What should she do with the kids? Most daycares won't take kids for a couple of days here and there when a temp gig comes along?
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Colleenz
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Jun 27, 2011 14:33:14 GMT -5
Post by Colleenz on Jun 27, 2011 14:33:14 GMT -5
Why in the world would she bother to get a job? I'd rather go to the pool with the kids than work. And she knows just how to get you to drop it - every time.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Jun 27, 2011 14:35:26 GMT -5
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 27, 2011 14:35:26 GMT -5
The difference:
Loop may need counseling conversation vs helping you folks out with financial/job advice. And you don't think that applies to any of the other spouses that get discussed on this board? Cawaiu's wife overspends even though it drives him crazy just for the fun of it? No, it probably has something to do with the way she was raised, and the most effective way to change it would probably be counseling to get to the root cause and deal with it. You don't read Dox's threads and think that if they're true both of them need more hours on a couch than I could probably count? Get real.
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