So Doxie, why don't you get a job as a mechanic?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Didn't you say multiple times in your first thread that you would take a higher paying job in a heartbeat,

I assume it meant a higher paying tradtional female job that would allow for jewerly wearing.

This IS this thing called the weekend where you could wear anything you wanted. Work is just 8 hours.

I have to wear long pants even in 101 degree weather for my job. I think Doxie could survive not wearing jewerly for a few hours.

But then I work a "man's job" so what do I know?

[Deleted]

I've come to two conclusions:

Doxie is effing with us

and

she and her husband deserve each other.

[zibazinski]

You have a HS diploma in a city that requires a college degree for a receptionists job?

[Sum Dum Gai]

I like the traditional office job, as opposed to working on cars for a living. I was not being sexist, and I have no problems with women mechanics. Its just not for me. I like wearing jewelry to work and not grease.

Translation: I'm a princess and that's not my job. I just have to look pretty and help a little while Prince Charming does the bulk of the work.

I hate to break it to you princess, but you didn't marry prince charming. Slightly off topic, but ever notice how there aren't any fairy tale princesses with a couple kids and an ex husband, but I digress. If you want your family on stable financial footing you'll have to pull up your big girl panties, roll up your skirt, and work for it, like everyone else.

[doxieluvr]

The aggrivation and mental anguish is not worth the increased money.we finally have no drama and chaos and I want to keep it that way. Its better for her for everyone to get along.

[Anne_in_VA]

Jun 17, 2011 15:49:11 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I hate to break it to you princess, but you didn't marry prince charming. Slightly off topic, but ever notice how there aren't any fairy tale princesses with a couple kids and an ex husband, but I digress. If you want your family on stable financial footing you'll have to pull up your big girl panties, roll up your skirt, and work for it, like everyone else.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jun 17, 2011 15:50:40 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

The aggrivation and mental anguish is not worth the increased money.we finally have no drama and chaos and I want to keep it that way. Its better for her for everyone to get along.

Wait, what? You getting a better a paying job causes drama and chaos?

[Sum Dum Gai]

Wait, what? You getting a better a paying job causes drama and chaos?

I think that comment was about getting more child support from the ex.

[zibazinski]

That was the threat/implication from my EX as well. Nice try but it doesn't cut it.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I don't understand the $72 per month average.
Who cares when he didn't pay.
How much per month do you get NOW?

[hoops902]

"I like the traditional office job, as opposed to working on cars for a living. I was not being sexist, and I have no problems with women mechanics. Its just not for me. I like wearing jewelry to work and not grease."

All i hear you talk about is how you'd take a job that paid more right away, how your husband won't and you resent it. Now it turns out you're only willing to take higher paying jobs that fit precisely into what you want them to be, which is EXACTLY what you were so annoyed with your husband about!

So what ARE you willing to do to help your family's financial situation? So far all I've garnered is that you're willing to take a higher paying job, as long as that higher paying job is exactly what you want your job to be. Not exactly any kind of sacrifice.

[KaraBoo]

Jun 17, 2011 16:26:12 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I don't understand the $72 per month average.
Who cares when he didn't pay.
How much per month do you get NOW?

I don't get it either, but kind of understand. I don't agree with her repeatedly saying this, but I get it.

If I were to look at the last 6 months my XH has paid CS, my monthly average would be $0 because he hasn't paid anything in that time frame. However, the last time he did pay (December), he pre-paid something like 4-6 months worth. So I did get paid the court ordered $250 per month, just not monthly like I'm supposed to be paid.

Which reminds me....I'm pretty sure that pre-payment was used up a month or two ago.....time to check and rock the boat if necessary!!!

[hoops902]

Jun 17, 2011 16:26:12 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I don't understand the $72 per month average.
Who cares when he didn't pay.
How much per month do you get NOW?

No kidding. Over my entire life I've averaged making about $15K per year. But I don't budget based on the average over an irrelevant period of time, I budget based on what I make NOW.

[gooddecisions]

I third post 71 & 74:
........"Sroo, the $72 is a monthly average of all the months we have been Divorced. I do get more than that a month now, but I did not get cs when we first seperated until the divorce was final. I get approx. 1/3 of the states guidelines as per our agreement, which is why it does not match his income. "........

I paid $30 for cable 8 years ago and then it jumped to $100- never once have I averaged it to use for my monthly and annual budget! Why on earth would you talk about that $72/month like that was what you were receiving. I clearly recall you saying "that $72/month won't make or break my budget".

Dox, what are you currently getting in child support payments? Did I just take the bait?

[Nazgul Girl]

She likes to whine. Dox, you have to be the whiniest witch I have seen in some time. You should either keep your mouth shut, and quit typing snippy answers to everyone's comments about your plight, or stop posting your sorry stories.

At one time I was married to a very highly-educated wage-earner because I thought that he made "enough". I had turned down going to law school ( I was admitted twice ) at the wise old age of 22 1/2 because we were going to be married, and I wanted work a traditional woman's job in an office, have children, and stay at home for several years. I always planned on going back to work after the children were older. The decision not to attend law school was my lifetime financial mistake. As it turned out, my ex has two serious personality disorders, of which even one would be difficult to treat and keep in check. I, of course, did not anticipate that. Many years later, I have been glad of having my bachelor's degree, but it did not afford me high-paying jobs. I have been everything from a housecleaner, legal secretary, receptionist, claims rep, and finally put in 21 years in the medical field, doing billing, and now coding. I have worked every hour of overtime I could, and have constantly encouraged my daughter to become as educated as possible, with any advanced degree (within reason) that she can achieve.

Doxie, if you think that anyone here really gives a sh-t about your rude drivel and snide answers, you are sadly mistaken. Either take your ex back to court, get a better job yourself, or shut up and get off your husband's back. At least start selling candles or Pampered Chef or something. I like wearing jewelry too, but at least I'm willing to sell it when necessary, which has been very rare. Geeze.

[8 Bit WWBG]

To address the thing of mechanics with luxury cars. My sisters boyfriend managed to snag a lotus that had some serious body issues and sat in a lot for 3 years. He got it at a steal, fixed it up, and now has (for all intents and purposes) a car he'd never be able to buy new. They have access to equipment, tools, and parts at good rates, and have the skill to fix them up. Its like a handyman having a really nice upgraded house bc he/she only had to pay for parts.

I could understand not wanting to work with an ex or a brother. But she needs more money.

[achelois]

Still feeding the troll, I see.



All the time and energy I put into 19bud72 and he never did eat a vegetable.

[dcmetrocrab]

Jun 18, 2011 8:02:29 GMT -5 achelois said:

Still feeding the troll, I see.

All the time and energy I put into 19bud72 and he never did eat a vegetable.

Slow day on YM. ;D

[Nazgul Girl]

Yes

[midjd]

I've thought troll for a while, but I continue posting - because I think these threads can contain a lot of info that others might use. The CM food-stamp thread had a ton of grocery tips that have really helped me. Maybe someone will gain something from Doxie's story, though it doesn't seem she will.

[hoops902]

The only part i REALLY don't understand is that everyone seems to be in agreement that Doxie is either 1. Completely making things up OR 2. Completely delusional without much grip on reality...however, the moment Doxie mentions DH everyone just assumes that her word is fact. Like she is somehow delusional in every facet of her life but spot on in her relationship with DH...even after repeatedly changing her stories about him when questioned. Same goes for DH's parents, that they must be exactly how Doxie describes them, even with her history of making things up and giving half stories.

This entire thread is a perfect example. One of the major issues was that DH would not take a higher paying job essentially because "he didn't want to do that job". Doxie is resentful because "she'd jump at the chance to make more money and it's annoying that he won't". Now it comes out that she believes (even if she's incorrect) that she could just make more money doing something like mechanical work, but won't...because that wouldn't allow her to wear jewelry to work. Not to mention that after a week it came out that DH DOES want a higher paying job, Doxie is just telling him he's not allowed to take the work he wants to take.

How do people decide what to believe exactly? Because people still clearly believe some of the storylines, even after any reasonable person has come to the conclusion that we're randomly being given at best half stories skewed by personal delusion, and at worst outright lies. I lean toward delusion, but then that begs the question how people decide what to believe and what not to believe?

[achelois]

You start out giving a person the benefit of the doubt and wanting to help, but when the OP's situation becomes so completely incomprehensible and the posts so incoherent, you finally decide the poster is just FOS.

Even if the OP were not a troll, when someone has that many excuses for not changing or not implementing any of the suggestions, he/she just isn't hurting enough yet

[Phoenix84]

"I was raised by a poor single mother, section 8, food stamps, Medicaid, the works, and I don't really understand the mentality either. I mean, I've seen it enough to know that it's out there, I just don't get why girls choose the lifestyle. Hell, my sister did. Almost every time I talk to my mom she wonders why my sister spent her whole life watching my mom struggle, then went out and made all the same mistakes. I'd love to be able to explain it, but I just can't. Our childhood ranged from so-so to really frakin horrible at times. For the life of me I can't figure out why the hell my sister wants to raise her kids the same way."

I don't know the specifics of how you were raised or your sister, but this is common. My best guess is your sister had no other role models so she chose the only path she knew. Doing something else was unknown and scary. Sometimes the familiar, even though it's bad, is easier for some people to take.

[Phoenix84]

"If you don't want to raise kids with an abusive waste of flesh you can't date losers. I mean, it's not like she didn't have plenty of people around that she could look at to learn that lesson, yanno?"

Why women date losers is one of the great mysteries of the universe. My best guess is it has something to do with self esteem and what's considered "exciting."

[Deleted]

I would never pay to go to school to be a mechanic. I could get a job tommorow in that industry without schooling if i wanted to turn wrenches for a living. I struggle with this, i want to stick with traditional woman careers, when i could easily make better money driving a truck or repairing cars or even semis

I don't know how Doxie thinks she could become a payed mechanic without some type of schooling. My dad was a certified mechanic and he had to take trade classes and pass the certification test. I don't know of any auto repair shop around that would hire someone who hasn't been to some type of school to become a mechanic. They also require that they be certified mechanics.

[happyscooter]

hoops, i haven't been paying really close attention, but what work does her DH want to take and she won't let him?

[gooddecisions]

I think it was overnight driving. There were some implications of trust/possibly cheating from his last job as an overnight truck driver.

[happyscooter]

like he couldn't cheat working at mcdonalds?

[hoops902]

Jun 19, 2011 7:51:59 GMT -5 happyscooter said:

like he couldn't cheat working at mcdonalds?

There were implications of trust, every other time Doxie has implied something and then told us the "facts" though it's turned out to be something completely different than what she has implied.

"You start out giving a person the benefit of the doubt and wanting to help, but when the OP's situation becomes so completely incomprehensible and the posts so incoherent, you finally decide the poster is just FOS"

I guess that's where my question lies. People seem to be openly at hte point where they realize it's either made up or delusional...until she starts talking about "how her DH is" or "how his family is", then all of a sudden everyone just assumes her word is fact. And that's after multiple stories about him and his family that ended up not even being true by her own admission once the real story came out.

OP's story changed like 25 times when she was talking about DH getting an extra $2K this month for overtime. The concensus seemed to be "well he's probably hiding money from you, check his paystubs, etc" instead of "you're FOS, stop making up stories".

Same with his parents getting "foreclosed on". She even admitted she basically didn't even know the story and was just piecing it together. Given the lack of truth we hear when she IS the story, why do people seem to think her own made up version of events is somehow true when she even admits she basically knows about 3% of the facts?

Do people not consider the fact that she might not just be lying, she might actually be delusional and that the "advice" is just making it worse when people tell her that her husband is probably saving up to leave her, etc? Creating theoretical situations for someone already delusional about what's going on in their life probably isn't helpful.

[achelois]

I don't think she is delusional; that would just be continuing to give her the benefit of the doubt.