NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 11:45:23 GMT -5
It's there isn't a lot of them on our insurance plan. United freaking sucks. CHI has Thursday evening sessions so that works. I've been told by people that work for them that despite all the other crap CHI's mental health outlet is very good. The rest mainly serve the low income community which is not a bad thing, but it often means really long waiting lists because the priority is given to people who cannot get help elsewhere. He needs a specialist since all his issues are connected. My concern is if we start with the regular therapist it could end up doing more harm than good out of simple inexperience. Have you started calling around to see if folks would take you on a sliding fee or do payment plans?
I think if I'm going to work through things, this time, DH and I need couples therapy. My insurance does not cover. But, my therapist told me that they have couples packages where the fees are significantly reduced. In grad school, I found a therapist that set up a payment plan with me.
Is your husband working his steps with a sponsor? I think it's totally cliche, but therapy and working the steps go hand and hand. IMVHO, I don't think just showing up to the meetings works. And therapy, in isolation didn't work at least for my husband.
But that's because my husband refused to truly accept he's an addict. And there was only so much a therapist could do with that.
I'm sorry you are where you are. You posted that you hope that your husband puts two and two together to figure out you are drifting apart. He probably already knows. If your DH doesn't ever believe that he's an addict deep in his gut, he won't care. At least my husband didn't.
Not to individual counselors no neither one of us has the time One World is sliding scale, that is where we will try next if DH doesn't like CHI. CHI has a decent amount of therapists to select from and can probably recommend people better than a random internet search can. He is attending NA but has not been talking. I told him I think you have been going all this time just to shut me up. I told him he needs to get a sponsor and work thru his steps. These people are supposed to be a "safe space" for him he needs a support network that understands what he is going thru. DH accepts he is an addict on some level. What he thinks that has meant all these years I don't know. I know he hasn't accepted that it's all connected. No you aren't hooked on Phen Phen anymore but now it's opiates. No you don't do opiates but now it's Kratom. Quitting X doesn't mean you aren't an addict anymore if you pick up Y in it's place. Alledgedly now he accepts he is a relapsed addict, that quitting something isn't enough he has to fix whatever is broken in his brain so he stops the cycle all together.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 16, 2019 11:56:20 GMT -5
DD7 likes to sleep in only her underwear - she'd sleep completely buff but we have a house rule that 'panties stay put'. This time of year it's always tough because she doesn't necessarily keep her blanket on and then gets cold enough to wake up and come to bed with us. Having a popsicle slid in next you def wakes us up and sometimes I struggle to fall back asleep. I told her she has to leave a t-shirt since we are running the furnace at night with lows of 40 degrees outside. If it weren't waking her up I wouldn't care - clothing is not a battle I pick. Church this week was a red dress that really should be reserved for Christmas, white leggings, teal socks, and pink shoes. I've mentioned that the rest of the world doesn't think pink and red go together but she doesn't care. Her outfit made people smile so I'll call that a win.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 16, 2019 12:26:00 GMT -5
Have you started calling around to see if folks would take you on a sliding fee or do payment plans?
I think if I'm going to work through things, this time, DH and I need couples therapy. My insurance does not cover. But, my therapist told me that they have couples packages where the fees are significantly reduced. In grad school, I found a therapist that set up a payment plan with me.
Is your husband working his steps with a sponsor? I think it's totally cliche, but therapy and working the steps go hand and hand. IMVHO, I don't think just showing up to the meetings works. And therapy, in isolation didn't work at least for my husband.
But that's because my husband refused to truly accept he's an addict. And there was only so much a therapist could do with that.
I'm sorry you are where you are. You posted that you hope that your husband puts two and two together to figure out you are drifting apart. He probably already knows. If your DH doesn't ever believe that he's an addict deep in his gut, he won't care. At least my husband didn't.
Not to individual counselors no neither one of us has the time One World is sliding scale, that is where we will try next if DH doesn't like CHI. CHI has a decent amount of therapists to select from and can probably recommend people better than a random internet search can. He is attending NA but has not been talking. I told him I think you have been going all this time just to shut me up. I told him he needs to get a sponsor and work thru his steps. These people are supposed to be a "safe space" for him he needs a support network that understands what he is going thru. DH accepts he is an addict on some level. What he thinks that has meant all these years I don't know. I know he hasn't accepted that it's all connected. No you aren't hooked on Phen Phen anymore but now it's opiates. No you don't do opiates but now it's Kratom. Quitting X doesn't mean you aren't an addict anymore if you pick up Y in it's place. Alledgedly now he accepts he is a relapsed addict, that quitting something isn't enough he has to fix whatever is broken in his brain so he stops the cycle all together. yeah, he's seriously lacking insight.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 16, 2019 12:26:06 GMT -5
He is attending NA but has not been talking. I told him I think you have been going all this time just to shut me up. I told him he needs to get a sponsor and work thru his steps. These people are supposed to be a "safe space" for him he needs a support network that understands what he is going thru. DH accepts he is an addict on some level. What he thinks that has meant all these years I don't know. I know that alledgedly now he accepts he is a relapsed addict, that quitting something isn't enough he has to fix whatever is broken in his brain so he stops the cycle all together rather than going a few days/months/years between this cycle and the next. Is he interested in recovery? Do you think so?
How long are you planning to stay if he's not or you don't think he is? What kind of support are you getting?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 12:47:15 GMT -5
He is attending NA but has not been talking. I told him I think you have been going all this time just to shut me up. I told him he needs to get a sponsor and work thru his steps. These people are supposed to be a "safe space" for him he needs a support network that understands what he is going thru. DH accepts he is an addict on some level. What he thinks that has meant all these years I don't know. I know that alledgedly now he accepts he is a relapsed addict, that quitting something isn't enough he has to fix whatever is broken in his brain so he stops the cycle all together rather than going a few days/months/years between this cycle and the next. Is he interested in recovery? Do you think so?
How long are you planning to stay if he's not or you don't think he is? What kind of support are you getting? He seems to be but IDK what is going on in his head. I thought he was more committed than I thought he was then found out he turned to lotto tickets. So now I don't know what to believe anymore. Taking away the bank account is pretty much the next step towards divorce. I am thinking six months to re-evaluate that should be time enough to see if he actually goes to therapy. I don't have a whole lot of support. His parents are useless they are the ones that instilled in him it's of deepest shame to get therapy and on top of that his mom is an enabler. I have support from my parents but they got my brother to deal with who is his own bag of fun right now. So here is pretty much it and my BFF when I get the chance to see her. I've tried Narc-Anon a few times and I don't find it very helpful, their steps have been useful though.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2019 13:08:29 GMT -5
DD7 likes to sleep in only her underwear - she'd sleep completely buff but we have a house rule that 'panties stay put'. This time of year it's always tough because she doesn't necessarily keep her blanket on and then gets cold enough to wake up and come to bed with us. Having a popsicle slid in next you def wakes us up and sometimes I struggle to fall back asleep. I told her she has to leave a t-shirt since we are running the furnace at night with lows of 40 degrees outside. If it weren't waking her up I wouldn't care - clothing is not a battle I pick. Church this week was a red dress that really should be reserved for Christmas, white leggings, teal socks, and pink shoes. I've mentioned that the rest of the world doesn't think pink and red go together but she doesn't care. Her outfit made people smile so I'll call that a win. My rule is "I don't like naked butts on my furniture" lol.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 13:11:54 GMT -5
My kids are nudists in the making. The other day Abby walked by me to get into the fridge. I didn't notice till she was walking back that she was butt naked. I asked her why she wasn't wearing clothes "Because I'm home now and I don't like them". All righty then. At least she gets we have to wear clothes in public.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2019 13:15:09 GMT -5
Is he interested in recovery? Do you think so?
How long are you planning to stay if he's not or you don't think he is? What kind of support are you getting? He seems to be but IDK what is going on in his head. I thought he was more committed than I thought he was then found out he turned to lotto tickets. So now I don't know what to believe anymore. Taking away the bank account is pretty much the next step towards divorce. I am thinking six months to re-evaluate that should be time enough to see if he actually goes to therapy. I don't have a whole lot of support. His parents are useless they are the ones that instilled in him it's of deepest shame to get therapy and on top of that his mom is an enabler. I have support from my parents but they got my brother to deal with who is his own bag of fun right now. So here is pretty much it and my BFF when I get the chance to see her. I've tried Narc-Anon a few times and I don't find it very helpful, their steps have been useful though. Have you tried other forums that are highly targeted towards addicts? Like, you could go on Reddit and be real anonymous and pick one of the sub-forums that have a more similar vibe to this one. Might be able to get some support from people who have been there. Hell, I bet Al-Anon and Narc-Anon have their own forums at this point.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2019 13:16:15 GMT -5
My kids are nudists in the making. The other day Abby walked by me to get into the fridge. I didn't notice till she was walking back that she was butt naked. I asked her why she wasn't wearing clothes "Because I'm home now and I don't like them". All righty then. At least she gets we have to wear clothes in public. Mmhmm. No butts on my furniture in practice means there's a blanket between them and the furniture. Most of the time, anyway.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 13:22:44 GMT -5
He seems to be but IDK what is going on in his head. I thought he was more committed than I thought he was then found out he turned to lotto tickets. So now I don't know what to believe anymore. Taking away the bank account is pretty much the next step towards divorce. I am thinking six months to re-evaluate that should be time enough to see if he actually goes to therapy. I don't have a whole lot of support. His parents are useless they are the ones that instilled in him it's of deepest shame to get therapy and on top of that his mom is an enabler. I have support from my parents but they got my brother to deal with who is his own bag of fun right now. So here is pretty much it and my BFF when I get the chance to see her. I've tried Narc-Anon a few times and I don't find it very helpful, their steps have been useful though. Have you tried other forums that are highly targeted towards addicts? Like, you could go on Reddit and be real anonymous and pick one of the sub-forums that have a more similar vibe to this one. Might be able to get some support from people who have been there. Hell, I bet Al-Anon and Narc-Anon have their own forums at this point. Narc-Anon has one. I tried for a bit but didn't really fit into the community, it's even smaller than here. I lurked for a bit afterwards and got some useful information about the steps. I can check out Reddit at some point.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2019 13:25:28 GMT -5
Have you tried other forums that are highly targeted towards addicts? Like, you could go on Reddit and be real anonymous and pick one of the sub-forums that have a more similar vibe to this one. Might be able to get some support from people who have been there. Hell, I bet Al-Anon and Narc-Anon have their own forums at this point. Narc-Anon has one. I tried for a bit but didn't really fit into the community, it's even smaller than here. I lurked for a bit afterwards and got some useful information about the steps and stuff. I can check out Reddit at some point. Not that we're trying to drive you away, obv. But I know a lot of us don't have firsthand experience with addiction at this level. I do, however, have a lot of firsthand experience with wanting to stick your husband in the frEEzer.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 13:30:40 GMT -5
It's hard to find people. When I tried NA a lot of the people on there are dealing with spouses not coming home for days and taking out 3-4 mortgages to pay for their drug habits. One was a son held her at gun point and robbed her for drug money.
Not that DH's problems aren't serious and in need of addressing but damn. I don't feel right sharing my problems when people are trying to get support for the above.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Oct 16, 2019 13:58:49 GMT -5
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 16, 2019 14:00:25 GMT -5
It's hard to find people. When I tried NA a lot of the people on there are dealing with spouses not coming home for days and taking out 3-4 mortgages to pay for their drug habits. One was a son held her at gun point and robbed her for drug money. Not that DH's problems aren't serious and in need of addressing but damn. I don't feel right sharing my problems when people are trying to get support for the above. Yeah, I get that. But it shouldn't be a competition. If it is, then yeah, I get feeling like you're in the wrong place.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 14:02:33 GMT -5
It's hard to find people. When I tried NA a lot of the people on there are dealing with spouses not coming home for days and taking out 3-4 mortgages to pay for their drug habits. One was a son held her at gun point and robbed her for drug money. Not that DH's problems aren't serious and in need of addressing but damn. I don't feel right sharing my problems when people are trying to get support for the above. Yeah, I get that. But it shouldn't be a competition. If it is, then yeah, I get feeling like you're in the wrong place. I don't think it was, it was likely my own hang ups that made it awkward. Plus I started to find myself rationalizing DH's behavior because at least he wasn't that bad. I needed to step back before I ended up writing off his behavior again.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 16, 2019 14:04:07 GMT -5
I see where DQ is coming from. I've been to counseling/therapy. I felt like a complete ass because I realize I am steeped totally in first world problems.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 16, 2019 14:33:48 GMT -5
And now I'm home with a sick kid. Fever and dizziness. The school nurse called on his second trip to see her today. Mom is going to pick up K and bring her here.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 16, 2019 14:40:41 GMT -5
My kids are nudists in the making. The other day Abby walked by me to get into the fridge. I didn't notice till she was walking back that she was butt naked. I asked her why she wasn't wearing clothes "Because I'm home now and I don't like them". All righty then. At least she gets we have to wear clothes in public. Mmhmm. No butts on my furniture in practice means there's a blanket between them and the furniture. Most of the time, anyway.
I've been known to say that I don't want their butt juice everywhere.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Oct 16, 2019 14:51:58 GMT -5
I see where DQ is coming from. I've been to counseling/therapy. I felt like a complete ass because I realize I am steeped totally in first world problems. I have a counselor friend who started out working with adolecents in group homes then for the VA. He's admitted he has a hard time empathizing with the first world problems in a regular practice. I think that supports how important it is to find a counselor or group who specializes in whatever issues you are trying to address. "Not THAT bad" can still be problematic.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 16, 2019 15:48:47 GMT -5
Yeah that's why DH needs a chemical dependency therapist.
There are a lot of therapists around here that do court ordered therapy (marital, family, drug etc) and while I am sure they are very good it has me worried that it'll be either a "when all you have is a hammer" situation or they will dismiss us because we are not so in deep that we have to go to therapy or will never get our kids back.
On the other end I don't want him going to someone not well versed because it's easy to rationalize some of his behavior, like the lotto tickets because lots of people play the lotto so what is the big deal? You have to be able to see the entire picture.
Finding a middle ground around here has been tough. Then on top of that we really need someone with nights/weekends because neither of us can take off from work. We could invoke our EAP policies but that only gets you a handful of visits and this is going to be long term care.
AND add insurance on top of that. No wonder people struggle to get the help they need.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 16, 2019 21:17:34 GMT -5
I've had a hard time finding, people too. I am fortunate enough to have a 12 step group in town for partners of SAs. They have a couple different meetings. One meeting was just not a good fit. I felt awful...because my husband's behaviors were not like other women. One woman found out her husband was an SA when the feds were knocking at her door at 2am with a search warrant, as they had caught her husband looking at kids.. I'm also no codependent with my husband. My parents, yes. But not him. So I really couldn't relate to their struggles. My last therapist was a bust, too. All she did was confirm that I was right about how I was viewing some of DH's choices. It was like, OK, thanks for confirming I'm right that DH is still thinking like a dry drunk. Now what are we going to talk about for the next half hour. And she works with addicts and partners. I actually find that being in school has been a really good thing for me. Except for this week, when some socio-cultural theoriests found it "fascinating" to study AA, in terms of how identity is created. I'm like. Fuck. It's not fascinating going through this shit. And then we had to talk about it for a while during my school webinar last night.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Oct 17, 2019 8:07:12 GMT -5
DD7 likes to sleep in only her underwear - she'd sleep completely buff but we have a house rule that 'panties stay put'. This time of year it's always tough because she doesn't necessarily keep her blanket on and then gets cold enough to wake up and come to bed with us. Having a popsicle slid in next you def wakes us up and sometimes I struggle to fall back asleep. I told her she has to leave a t-shirt since we are running the furnace at night with lows of 40 degrees outside. If it weren't waking her up I wouldn't care - clothing is not a battle I pick. Church this week was a red dress that really should be reserved for Christmas, white leggings, teal socks, and pink shoes. I've mentioned that the rest of the world doesn't think pink and red go together but she doesn't care. Her outfit made people smile so I'll call that a win. My rule is "I don't like naked butts on my furniture" lol. For my naked kid the rule was "you must wear underwear at the dining table" .
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 17, 2019 8:25:40 GMT -5
Dh texted me yesterday: Is it reasonable to require undies for jujitsu? Asking for a friend...
I told him that my friend always went back for them when reminded that crazy things can happen at jujitsu and undies are your butts last line of defense from prying eyes.
My undie rotation is also based on jujitsu. The pants are weird and if we're doing throws and rolls you can see the sides of my underwear, so I wear black on any day its remotely possible I'll go to class. I was so annoyed the last time C wanted to do a last minute class so I went too and I was flashing hot pink the entire time.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 17, 2019 8:43:43 GMT -5
The peanut goes commando. So much easier than trying to get her to wear undies. I'm worried about when she gets her period, but I'll cross that bridge later.
For Martial arts, she wears pjs underneath her uniform. But, she's just got her yellow belt and just did her first sparring class...so not much moving around.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 17, 2019 8:52:17 GMT -5
None of us have ever actually lost our pants in class, and the kids pants don't have the same issue mine do, so I'm sure she'll be fine regardless of what she decides. From what I can tell there is no such thing as womens martial arts pants in my size, and the mens pants are made for people with no hips or butt. So I have to get the drawstring pants that have gaps on the side. I should probably just sew some 6 inch elastic into the gaps, but I never think of it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 21, 2019 9:00:19 GMT -5
It's going to be a busy week for us. Both kids have conferences. C's is tonight. K's we're doing on Wed. Wed. is also C's bday - he'll be 10. Tuesday is ninja gym, soccer, DH has acupuncture. the kids have doctor appts, I need to check on the timing. Friday the kids are off of school and at my Mom's for the day. Sat. is soccer and then C's family bday party. Sunday is Cs friend party at the ninja gym.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Oct 21, 2019 11:00:11 GMT -5
Good luck, Beth! We had conferences last week, plus the final baseball game, soccer practices, and soccer games over the weekend, so I feel your pain on crazy week! C had a half day last Wednesday and no school on Thursday or Friday for conferences, so we did a quick trip to my mom’s on Thursday night through Friday morning. If anyone is ever near Tulsa, OK with your kids, go see The Gathering Place. It’s an amazing and free public park with stuff to do for kids from babies through teens. My kiddos both loved it. We want to go back next summer when the water feature areas are also open.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 21, 2019 12:47:47 GMT -5
Holy F*(& * and words stronger than that that haven't been invented yet. I screwed up BAD. I apparently put in a few extra zeros to my Discover payment and paid $5k instead of $50.00. That completely froze our accounts because we obviously do not have that kind of cash lying around and all our bills are stuck. I called UsBank in a panic, since it is still pending (fortunately) they are doing a stop payment and if it works I should see our money back tomorrow. If not I am going to have to wait 13 days for Discover to mail me a check. That's going to mean borrowing money from DH's parents because otherwise we'll be unable to pay our bills. Ugh. I cannot believe I was that sloppy.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Oct 21, 2019 14:29:40 GMT -5
This is one of those mistakes that could be easily programmed away. The payment algorithm should check if you are trying to pay more than your current balance and either not allow it or ask you to confirm it. Would save so much hassle and paperwork. I can't think of a reason anyone would want to pay more than their current balance. Drama - it's an easy mistake that has happened to most of us. Doesn't help when you're already stressed out though.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 21, 2019 14:41:48 GMT -5
We have a $6k balance on that card. Stupid me didn't double check the amount before I hit "approve" so an algorithm would not have caught it. It froze our account because that is WAY more than our overdraft coverage so everything is still pending. Which means they could do a stop-gap. If it had managed to clear we would have been totally screwed. We'll see tomorrow if it succeeded. Going to be the longest 24 hours of my life.
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