raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 19, 2019 20:34:26 GMT -5
We love our neighborhood with all of the kids on it because of the impromptu play dates that spring up. But there's always gotta be something. 1 family with a much younger child -- probably late 3 at this point has a huge great dane that they don't keep on leash. The child is playing more with the group of kids now that she's older and when the kids are playing in her yard (front yard--we don't know them well enough to allow house or backyard), the dog approaches and growls at any adult that comes up to the house. The kids say he only gives his "love growls" to them, which and . We've hopefully explained that there is no such thing as love growls, but with the kids he is well behaved in that he doesn't bark, jump, or run them over. Neither dh or I are comfortable with his free reign, and I've seen him have issues with dogs walking by, but we also hate to say no play dates if the dog is out. Another neighbor got a puppy a couple months ago. Super sweet of course, but she is off leash now too and E came in crying last night the the puppy bit her. No marks or broken skin, but it hurt and she was scared. We weren't outside, but I think the puppy ran up to E, started jumping up and whether she was trying to bite or not, she got her several times. She's decently sized at this point and just going to get bigger. The owner got the puppy and put her inside. But now we're at that point of deciding do we call an end to play dates when the dogs are out? We don't sit outside and supervise everything, but even if we did I'd have to be right on top of them to be close enough to stop something like that from happening which would mean a lot fewer play dates and probably a lot less fun when an adult is following you around. I know I've lost the battle that dogs aren't children, but it doesn't make me any less frustrated every time I run into it. I've taught my kids proper manners around dogs, but its so rare to find dogs (and owners) who can return that courtesy to kids. I'm curious. During these play dates where this dog is present, is there an adult present? I mean present as in right there in the yard with them, not in the house. If so, why not? Great Dane, parents are outside. Not on top of the children, but in the garage or doing yard work. Kids roam between yards (with permission). Puppy, I had always seen an adult in the yard with her, but I know she's gotten into the great dane's house a few times. Those times haven't been when the kids are out playing though. There was an adult bringing in the puppy within moments of her jumping/biting E, so they were close, but I don't know where they were exactly before it happened. Unless you have a truly off leash trained dog, without physical control of the dog it just takes a second. If you're asking if I'm following the kids to each yard all the time, the answer is no. For a lot of reasons. Which is why I feel like our options are don't play at those houses or have us go everywhere with the kids which would effectively end the spontaneous play dates they have. We're super strict with our dogs, and I really think its the only way to be. But I'm still debating how we'll proceed.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 19, 2019 21:55:01 GMT -5
I'm curious. During these play dates where this dog is present, is there an adult present? I mean present as in right there in the yard with them, not in the house. If so, why not? Great Dane, parents are outside. Not on top of the children, but in the garage or doing yard work. Kids roam between yards (with permission). Puppy, I had always seen an adult in the yard with her, but I know she's gotten into the great dane's house a few times. Those times haven't been when the kids are out playing though. There was an adult bringing in the puppy within moments of her jumping/biting E, so they were close, but I don't know where they were exactly before it happened. Unless you have a truly off leash trained dog, without physical control of the dog it just takes a second. If you're asking if I'm following the kids to each yard all the time, the answer is no. For a lot of reasons. Which is why I feel like our options are don't play at those houses or have us go everywhere with the kids which would effectively end the spontaneous play dates they have. We're super strict with our dogs, and I really think its the only way to be. But I'm still debating how we'll proceed. More than anything I was wondering how the dog owners were monitoring their dogs. I also think super strict is the way to be with dogs. No reason to put anyone in harm's way. A misunderstanding between dogs and kids (or anyone for that matter) can turn ugly fast. We have 3 big dogs and there is no possible way we would leave a child alone with one of them. I'm 100% confident that none of our dogs could ever hurt anybody, but why take the chance? Any of the 3 of our dogs could easily knock over a child (hell, they could easily knock over an adult) because they're overly excited that a new friend has shown up to play. Next thing you know someone is saying that my dog attacked them. No way am I putting my dog in that position. The kid could easily scare a dog when all they wanted to do was run up and give the dog a hug. Now we have a misunderstanding and the dog will always lose, which is why I'm so huge on dogs of any size being monitored around a child. There's too much that can go wrong.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 20, 2019 7:28:31 GMT -5
I'm curious. During these play dates where this dog is present, is there an adult present? I mean present as in right there in the yard with them, not in the house. If so, why not? Great Dane, parents are outside. Not on top of the children, but in the garage or doing yard work. Kids roam between yards (with permission). Puppy, I had always seen an adult in the yard with her, but I know she's gotten into the great dane's house a few times. Those times haven't been when the kids are out playing though. There was an adult bringing in the puppy within moments of her jumping/biting E, so they were close, but I don't know where they were exactly before it happened. Unless you have a truly off leash trained dog, without physical control of the dog it just takes a second. If you're asking if I'm following the kids to each yard all the time, the answer is no. For a lot of reasons. Which is why I feel like our options are don't play at those houses or have us go everywhere with the kids which would effectively end the spontaneous play dates they have. We're super strict with our dogs, and I really think its the only way to be. But I'm still debating how we'll proceed. I hear you on that. My sister keeps acting all surprised that I'm not spending every second outside with my kids, more or less within arm's reach.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 20, 2019 9:18:26 GMT -5
Great Dane, parents are outside. Not on top of the children, but in the garage or doing yard work. Kids roam between yards (with permission). Puppy, I had always seen an adult in the yard with her, but I know she's gotten into the great dane's house a few times. Those times haven't been when the kids are out playing though. There was an adult bringing in the puppy within moments of her jumping/biting E, so they were close, but I don't know where they were exactly before it happened. Unless you have a truly off leash trained dog, without physical control of the dog it just takes a second. If you're asking if I'm following the kids to each yard all the time, the answer is no. For a lot of reasons. Which is why I feel like our options are don't play at those houses or have us go everywhere with the kids which would effectively end the spontaneous play dates they have. We're super strict with our dogs, and I really think its the only way to be. But I'm still debating how we'll proceed. I hear you on that. My sister keeps acting all surprised that I'm not spending every second outside with my kids, more or less within arm's reach. We err so much on the helicopter side of things, but it isn't a parenting style I really agree with. By C's age I was riding all over the neighborhood without supervision, crossing major streets, etc. My parents knew I was out riding my bike around. And yet I'm proud of myself for letting the kids ride/play on our street without me making constant eye contact with them. Lol.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jun 20, 2019 9:59:52 GMT -5
Great Dane, parents are outside. Not on top of the children, but in the garage or doing yard work. Kids roam between yards (with permission). Puppy, I had always seen an adult in the yard with her, but I know she's gotten into the great dane's house a few times. Those times haven't been when the kids are out playing though. There was an adult bringing in the puppy within moments of her jumping/biting E, so they were close, but I don't know where they were exactly before it happened. Unless you have a truly off leash trained dog, without physical control of the dog it just takes a second. If you're asking if I'm following the kids to each yard all the time, the answer is no. For a lot of reasons. Which is why I feel like our options are don't play at those houses or have us go everywhere with the kids which would effectively end the spontaneous play dates they have. We're super strict with our dogs, and I really think its the only way to be. But I'm still debating how we'll proceed. More than anything I was wondering how the dog owners were monitoring their dogs. I also think super strict is the way to be with dogs. No reason to put anyone in harm's way. A misunderstanding between dogs and kids (or anyone for that matter) can turn ugly fast. We have 3 big dogs and there is no possible way we would leave a child alone with one of them. I'm 100% confident that none of our dogs could ever hurt anybody, but why take the chance? Any of the 3 of our dogs could easily knock over a child (hell, they could easily knock over an adult) because they're overly excited that a new friend has shown up to play. Next thing you know someone is saying that my dog attacked them. No way am I putting my dog in that position. The kid could easily scare a dog when all they wanted to do was run up and give the dog a hug. Now we have a misunderstanding and the dog will always lose, which is why I'm so huge on dogs of any size being monitored around a child. There's too much that can go wrong. I wish more pet owners would have that attitude. Like, you might know your dog, but I know my kids and even I'm tempted to bite them.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 20, 2019 10:09:34 GMT -5
I hear you on that. My sister keeps acting all surprised that I'm not spending every second outside with my kids, more or less within arm's reach. We err so much on the helicopter side of things, but it isn't a parenting style I really agree with. By C's age I was riding all over the neighborhood without supervision, crossing major streets, etc. My parents knew I was out riding my bike around. And yet I'm proud of myself for letting the kids ride/play on our street without me making constant eye contact with them. Lol. I alternate between helicopter parenting and free range parenting. So far, so good.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 20, 2019 15:13:32 GMT -5
I know this isn't really kid related, but it kind of is since it was them that ruined my body. I just showered and the swelling from surgery has started to go down. Finally there is no pouch! I've been walking around with that thing for the last 21 years and it's gone! My stomach is flat! Well, it's still a little swollen, but it's about 90% flat! I've been waiting for this forever! I can't wait until all the swelling is gone! Yay!
ETA: I posted here since those here aren't bothered by TMI subjects.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 21, 2019 10:10:09 GMT -5
Realizing that DD10 finds the missing library books better if I go through the list one by one and show her the book cover. Guess that helps her remember where she put them? Whatever as long as I don't have to keep paying late fines.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 21, 2019 22:29:24 GMT -5
Must be something in the air because Gwen brought up yesterday that one of her friend's mother was 15 when she had her and asked me what the big deal was about getting pregnant at 15 and could she do it? Umm. . NO! We had a long conversation about what dropping out of HS means and that while I am not going to say being a teen mother completely wrecks your life it does make it far more challenging than it would be otherwise. That if she is going to have sex she needs to be smart about it and be on birth control. Her SO needs to wear a condom. .. .period. If he doesn't then he doesn't get any. . .period. She asked what those are for and I told her and said not only does it protect against pregnancy it protects you from disease, NEVER assume you know where your partner has been. She then asked what age she could have sex at. I told her daddy is my only sexual partner and we met when I was 19. Which lead to the ego boosting moment "Didn't you have any other boyfriends before daddy?!" Yes I did and that's a very personal question my dear. I told her that I chose to wait because no sex at all is the only way to 100% be safe and I was terrified of becoming a teen mother. I told her that does not have to be her choice too but if she does decide to have sex she needs to be smart about it. She also asked me how many partners daddy had and how old he was when he started having sex. That ended up in a conversation about slut shaming. DH doesn't like that I tell her this stuff either but I told him I am not going to hide information from her just because she is "too young". I will do my best to tailor it but I want to have these conversations now so when she is in a situation she hopefully hears my voice in her head and acts accordingly. I also want her to know early on that she can come to her mother about anything and I will be there to answer as best I can. I involve him in it which I think helps. He's not thrilled about it but he listens which at the end of the day is the most important because that's what I am trying to coach him to do in case the girls ever end up coming to him. Sometimes i I even tell them about performing femininity as a tool of the patriarchy. Because I'm that mom. Why couldn't I have married you instead? Together we could have ruled the world. I frequently think about starting a commune of progressive divorced moms and how much cooler that life would be. My goal is to live with another mom and raise our kids together
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jun 21, 2019 23:43:18 GMT -5
I need some meal suggestions. The dad of one of C’s school friends was diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing radiation. There is a meal train and I’d like to sign up as we’re friends with the family. His cancer is in his throat/back of mouth, so here are the suggestions:
“Meals need to feed 2 adults and 2 kids for June 24 to July 5. For these 2 weeks please no tomatoes, citrus, spicy, or acidic foods.
For week of July 8 to 12 please provide food for 3 adults and 2 kids.
Soups, soft foods, pasta, and smoothies are good options for Dad.”
Anyone have any suggestions? Someone already signed up for chicken noodle soup, or I’d probably do that.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 22, 2019 7:35:54 GMT -5
Broccoli cheese soup?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 22, 2019 8:10:00 GMT -5
Breakfast casserole maybe? Eggs, hashbrowns, cheese, etc.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 22, 2019 9:52:54 GMT -5
Tuna casserole
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 23, 2019 9:55:01 GMT -5
First week of summer vacation last week went in a blur. Almost all of June has gone with a blur. Counted them up 7 birthdays (including YDD party yesterday and one today), fathers day, a trip to six flags and an end of the season soccer party has all be squished into it so far. Tomorrow we are going to six flags again and then nothing planned for next weekend.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 23, 2019 9:55:42 GMT -5
Sheppard pie might be a good meal.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jun 23, 2019 20:02:57 GMT -5
How about a casserole of diced chicken, pasta, peas and Alfredo sauce.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Jun 23, 2019 20:37:22 GMT -5
Homemade Mac and Cheese
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 23, 2019 21:14:12 GMT -5
How about just offering to do a grocery store run? Id love that! I don't like eating food others have made. I'm sort of picky.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jun 24, 2019 13:44:04 GMT -5
I have a question when you have a kids party do you plan on the adult guest eating too? We had a lot of birthday parties this month and last, and about 1/2 of them were set up for only the kids to eat. At Ydd party there were a few families where I had to directly confirmed that there was plenty and for the adults to please eat too.
Besides that it is nice being able to just chill in the water park area and let the dds go off with the older in charge. Ydd is big enough to ride everything and odd is able to be in charge.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2019 13:53:36 GMT -5
I assume I'm not going to be fed at kid parties. If the hosts offer (or clearly have a huge spread set out), I'll nibble. But I figure the kids eating has a higher priority than me. And a couple of the parties, the only reason I'm still there is because I've paid the entry fee for my other kid to play - I never ask if my other kid will be covered, I just take care of it.
Yeah, I love that my 2 do not need me every second of every adventure.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2019 13:58:15 GMT -5
And a shout out to my husband. He did a ton of cleaning for K's party on Saturday. On Sunday, we grocery shopped and he did a lot on the home front, esp. as my Dad is back in ICU. K and I made 2 trips to the hospital yesterday. And he did a bunch of stuff for camping trips. He also asked a bunch of questions that I don't have answers to, yet. And he let me get a much needed nap and time alone. And hugs when I needed them.
My Dad's doing much better. He's getting some testing today but he's mostly off the IV and they're talking about moving him to a regular room today.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jun 24, 2019 14:00:44 GMT -5
If we go to a kid party, I'm assuming they are only feeding the kids.
If I host a kid party, I'm feeding everyone. Harper's party was yesterday - the first one where she got to invite some friends - and everyone was invited to eat. And everyone did, and I still had a whole 21-slice pizza left over, along with various other stuff. Of course, it was at our house. If we went to the bowling alley or something, maybe I would have scaled back and just fed the kids.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 24, 2019 14:03:52 GMT -5
I plan on adults eating when I'm hosting. We put boiler plate, "parents are welcome to stay or drop off" on all of our parties so I usually know which adults will be staying.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2019 7:30:36 GMT -5
Rather depressed. I've been busting my ass for the past two weeks and got about $400 in overtime. It all had to go to catching up on bills because despite making more than we ever had DH blew threw our money like it's nobody's business in the past two months and we're back in the hole. I don't even get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. We're working on it. His debit card has been taken away he's not allowed to have one anymore, it stays with me at all times. He only gets it to buy gas. I thought about removing him from the accounts entirely but then realized that would be a bad idea should I get hit by a bus. But I'm still having to fix what he broke in the meantime. I know some of this is I am WAY overtired and in a ton of pain physically right now but that's not all of it. Just wanted to bitch because I figure you guys will get it. I did get $100 set aside for the bunk beds Abby wants. I will have some overtime coming the next paycheck too so that should probably cover the other half of the beds.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Jun 28, 2019 9:12:43 GMT -5
Sorry NomoreDramaQ1015 that's rough. Is your husband using again? I really hope not for your sake.
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oped
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Post by oped on Jun 28, 2019 9:19:19 GMT -5
Yes, what did he blow it on? So fucking unfair. Vent away.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2019 9:30:22 GMT -5
Sorry NomoreDramaQ1015 that's rough. Is your husband using again? I really hope not for your sake. No he just replaced drugs with spending. The fun thing about addiction is it comes with a whole host of other problems that appear non related but is all connected to the personality type. It's not he stops drugs and we're done. Now it's all the stuff the immediate issue of using hid.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 28, 2019 9:33:09 GMT -5
I've put up with way too much crap from dh, but my answer has been to provide less support for him, not more. It's not my job to fix his issues and if he makes more issues than solves for me/household he can go. Love was enough for a long time, but that ship of codependence has sailed.
I'd take him off all family accounts, let him open his own account and have a certain amount deposited into it to cover gas and spending money if that is all he is responsible for. If he runs out of money and can't buy gas to get to work he can start figuring out how bike/bus, beg for rides, or otherwise figure it out without me. If he can't, he can figure out how to live with his parents and remember to pay child support.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 28, 2019 9:33:27 GMT -5
Sorry NomoreDramaQ1015 that's rough. Is your husband using again? I really hope not for your sake. No he just replaced drugs with spending. The fun thing about addiction is it comes with a whole host of other problems that appear non related but is all connected to the personality type. It's not he stops drugs and we're done. Now it's dealing with all the stuff the immediate issue of using swept under the rug.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 28, 2019 9:41:10 GMT -5
Sorry NomoreDramaQ1015 that's rough. Is your husband using again? I really hope not for your sake. No he just replaced drugs with spending. The fun thing about addiction is it comes with a whole host of other problems that appear non related but is all connected to the personality type. It's not he stops drugs and we're done. Now it's all the stuff the immediate issue of using hid. You're very loving and generous to help him through this, but don't make the mistake of being so kind that you end up being the doormat. I know he can't just turn off mental health issues, and that they are real and formidable and people need help when dealing with them. But he is the only one that can ultimately do the work here, and actions are all that matter. Feelings, words, and intent are meaningless when not supported by action behind them. Hugs and good luck.
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