NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 14, 2024 10:32:08 GMT -5
I stay out of it between the siblings but I do talk to DH. His mom died fairly quickly so this is all new to him. His mother was already dying when she chose hospice. She was in and out of the hospital for about a month but it was less than a week after she came home that she died. She had hospice staff coming in/out for her. Caretaking was minimal. Just keep her comfortable till she passes. I've BTDT got the T shirt with my grandmother. I told him you are a grown adult I am not going to tell you what to do or forbid you from doing anything but I want you to at least listen to me about how much of a toll this will take on all of you and where this made lead. He went into this assuming the end was near because again . .his mother. I told him my grandmother was about two inches from death when we found her. She's going on year 2 or 3 in the home. She has family that has lived to be 103. Despite her mind that woman is as healthy as a freaking horse. I am not always joking about Gwen inheriting her. I may freaking die before grandma does. Besides the soiling himself and falling his FIL is otherwise "fine" such as he can be. So this could go on for a very long time. I said you guys can't care for him at home indefinitely. Eventually it's going to become unsafe. And if it becomes unsafe they don't give a shit that you guys were trying to do what you thought was best. Again exhibit A: my grandmother. Well there's no book on how to handle this stuff and it takes a huge emotional toll. And dealing with a dementia "undiagnosis" is a minefield because the person isn't totally out of it. And HIPAA while well intended becomes a nightmare for the family and caretakers who are trying to help someone who can't take care of themselves but also refuse help. As you know, Drama, it's exhausting work. I'm skeptical that your BIL can go to work full-time, provide 8 hours of care for his room (and board) and sleep while going through a divorce. He's going to need help. Unfortunately the way this scenerio is likely to play out is FIL falls and breaks something and the family will have to refuse to take him so Skilled Nursing will have to find a place to take him. If there's a Medicaid claw-back so be it. Someone has to pay to take care of him and that's what his money is for.
Good luck with dealing with all of it. I think you're handling it as well as it can be handled. It's not a situation whereby you get to pick the best option but the least worst. Oh I know. DH and I don't really care and like I said worst case would be we have to return the truck to be sold. I was more thinking about how many other more valuable assets he's handed off to SIL and BIL. Which is not my circus but with everything I had to deal with getting grandma on Medicaid and she didn't even have any assets at that point I worry all that could interfere with him getting care if he needed it. I don't really care what happens financially to BIL or SIL. I've been telling DH that FIL is going to end up breaking something and then that is it. I said even if they discharge him back to you, which they will try and they'll probably agree, I said you will no longer be able to safely care for him and that is not fair to FIL. I know you can't plan for everything. Never saw GU coming from a mile away. But I am trying to get DH into a mindset to have the balls to talk to his siblings NOW. Learn from what my dad and I went through and at least discuss things so you are all on the same page. Denial is going to come back to bite you all bigly. ETA: I don't think any of the three siblings should be trying to do 8 hour care alone. I've kept my mouth shut for the most part but I told DH I cannot continue to support him being down there for weeks on end overnight. He has a job and kids. I said as harsh as it is to say you will be here long after FIL is gone. You need to put your own oxygen mask on first. I damn near cost myself my job and all I was doing was handling grandma's finances. I said you need to do some soul searching because this could last all the way to the end of the year if not longer. You're all going to burn out.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 14, 2024 10:33:45 GMT -5
I think with dementia in play, it is a lot to expect someone to spend 8 hours straight with someone like that with no breaks. I have to say my SIL's and BIL's have stepped up and done their part where they could to help with aging parents. Some of them are better than others, but all seem to act in the best interests of our elderly family members. I know my Brother and SIL feel my mother should already be in an assisted living/memory care facility. I did write the check for the eval, but my brother was in FL on vacay when the facility had an opening and we decided to wait for the next opening. My mother recently told me "I hope you won't put me in a nursing home". I would prefer for her to be less aware of what is going on when we do go that route. Mom had seemed to be pretty settled in to not driving anymore, but my DH said mom told her "I could drive myself to your house for dinner, I don't know why you guys don't trust me to drive anymore".
I also don't expect my kids to do what we are doing for my mom. We were older when we had kids, and I only have 2. DD travels and she does not live in the same state as us. The government really should be figuring out ways to make it easier for the elderly to stay in place, but they have had 40 years or so to address the SS trust fund running out of $$ and they still haven't done anything of significance to fix it. We should have bought a long-term care policy when we were younger. DH says they won't sell it to us for an affordable price now. I was never concerned about it b/c there was no family history of dementia. Well, there is now.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 14, 2024 10:41:19 GMT -5
FIL doesn't have dementia. He can't control his bowels. Like AT ALL. And then because he gave up after MIL he hasn't really left the house much in two years, he spends a lot of time in his chair. He's starting to atrophy. I told DH that we were told that was part of GU's issue. When you don't move enough your blood pools in your lower extremities and when you stand up your body goes "oh shit" because now it needs to suddenly move all that blood back up. That is why you get dizzy if you stand up too fast. Which for someone my age isn't the end of the world. For someone FIL's age that it is a major problem because it leads to passing out and eventually getting hurt. And I warned DH too that he knows from my grandmother they aren't going to give a shit that FIL didn't want any help from outsiders or they were trying to do the "right thing" by him. The fact of the matter will be he got hurt on their watch and will be judged for it. I am pretty sure that is half the issue my dad had with the administration at the nursing home. They judged HIM not the societal factors that created the mess with my grandma. Doesn't matter she had every legal right to be stupid, he should have done whatever he could to "save" her. Even though legally you can't. It's a fucked up situation.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on May 14, 2024 11:05:18 GMT -5
FIL doesn't have dementia. He can't control his bowels. Like AT ALL. And then because he gave up after MIL he hasn't really left the house much in two years, he spends a lot of time in his chair. He's starting to atrophy. I told DH that we were told that was part of GU's issue. When you don't move enough your blood pools in your lower extremities and when you stand up your body goes "oh shit" because now it needs to suddenly move all that blood back up. That is why you get dizzy if you stand up too fast. Which for someone my age isn't the end of the world. For someone FIL's age that it is a major problem because it leads to passing out and eventually getting hurt. And I warned DH too that he knows from my grandmother they aren't going to give a shit that FIL didn't want any help from outsiders or they were trying to do the "right thing" by him. The fact of the matter will be he got hurt on their watch and will be judged for it. I am pretty sure that is half the issue my dad had with the administration at the nursing home. They judged HIM not the societal factors that created the mess with my grandma. Doesn't matter she had every legal right to be stupid, he should have done whatever he could to "save" her. Even though legally you can't. It's a fucked up situation. Mister has gotten some of that kind of judgement a couple of the times his Aunt has gone to rehab, from the people that work there. They tried to demand a couple of times that he leave work right then and come talk to them. It was not an emergency situation. They were irritated when he insisted that he would schedule an appointment for the next day, but he wasn’t jumping up and leaving work with no advance notice. Then they got snippy when he refused to sign any papers accepting financial responsibility the last time she went. One of his Aunt’s neighbors/friends has gotten disgruntled and expressed to Mister’s brother that they should be doing more for their Aunt. It’s good that she had that conversation with Mister’s brother and not Mister. Many of the things that have happened with their Aunt have been self inflicted because she does a lot of things she shouldn’t and doesn’t do a lot of things she should. Plus she lives almost an hour away from us. Mister’s brother might be 10 minutes closer, if that much. Mister works at least 10 hours most days, and he has his own life, which includes his youngest child still being a minor. All of that to say that there are many reasons that Mister can’t/won’t do more for his Aunt. When she got out of rehab this last time, she lied and told them she wouldn’t be living alone. Mister said he told her she doesn’t need to live alone anymore, and needs to be in some sort of facility or something. He said recently that her Doctor seems to have started pushing for the same thing. The problem is that she has no money. None besides the small amount of SS she receives every month. The house is not worth much money, and even less because of the bad condition it is in. Mister’s Grandmother left the house to his Mom and Aunt, it was paid for long before his Grandmother died. The intention has always been to try to keep the house in the family, but Mister is okay with it if it doesn’t work out like that. Anyway, he and his Aunt love each other, but they have never been super close, so it’s weird for people to expect him to upend his life to take over hers, just because her nephews are her closest living relatives.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 14, 2024 12:06:54 GMT -5
Yeah they did that to my dad with GU.
And the real kick in the teeth is my dad won't see a dime from the house. Medicaid and the nursing home are taking it all.
Which is fine those are the rules but the feds want my dad to pay $3,000 in inheritance tax! WTF?! He didn't inherit anything the state took it all! Shouldn't Nebraska have to pay taxes on it?
The lawyer handling the estate said they can boot it to my grandma. She's actually GU's legal next of kin. Since she's already on Medicaid they aren't going to be able to collect. It won't affect her Medicaid because Nebraska Medicaid took GU's assets so there is nothing Iowa Medicaid or the nursing home can be interested in taking from her.
I'm cool with that. Fuck the feds.
The whole elder care system is designed to screw people over. I get that these are important services but JFC.
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snapdragon
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Post by snapdragon on May 14, 2024 12:31:53 GMT -5
That's how it was with Mom. The state of OR basically took the money from the sale of her Mobile home and I just got reimbursed for the costs of the lawyer, cleaners, etc. The only actual money was from a life insurance policy and I split the money in half with my brother. When Mom had talked to me the policy was in my name due DB being in prison. She knew he couldn't inherit because the state he was in would take most for housing expenses. Or at least they used to back then. So I already planned to give him part afterwords. And the policy was not a huge amount either. It was about 8K? It think it was originally for burial but we went the cremation route. Mom was fine with that as long as I didn't put her ashes in water. She said she would come back and haunt me if I did that. So her ashes were scattered above land as she wanted. Sending you hugs Drama.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 14, 2024 15:22:17 GMT -5
It just blew me away that the government makes it crystal clear they seize all the assets of the deceased and then ON TOP OF THAT they can charge the next of kin an inheritance tax on it. The next of kin didn't even get anything! It was property of the state as soon as the Medicaid paperwork was signed. WTF? Who exactly is standing there with their hand out in this scenario?
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CCL
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Post by CCL on May 14, 2024 16:39:26 GMT -5
Drama, why would there be federal estate tax in the first place since it's under the limit? Or is it some sort of income tax?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 14, 2024 16:55:50 GMT -5
Drama, why would there be federal estate tax in the first place since it's under the limit? Or is it some sort of income tax? IDK. I am not super involved in all of it I just talk to my dad off and on about it. All I know is that they told him he owed $3k in taxes for the estate so I assumed it was a federal estate tax. ETA: Ah ha it is NEBRASKA inheritance tax. They can pin it on him because he would technically be the "beneficiary" of GUs estate if they skipped over grandma. That is such bull shit. smartasset.com/estate-planning/nebraska-estate-taxSo I stand corrected. Fuck Nebraska. They get $100k AND want an additional $3k?! Okay and now I get the lawyer saying they can saddle grandma with it too. There is nothing for her to inherit to interfere with her Medicaid. As his sister she would "owe" less in taxes than my dad does as his nephew but good luck collection she has no assets.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 14, 2024 18:44:15 GMT -5
I can't wrap my mind around him owing taxes on money he didn't get. Talk about being greedy!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 19, 2024 20:31:19 GMT -5
Kind of sounds like to me, that the estate is where the estate tax would go since no one got the money, I may be mistaken. There is no federal unless over $13 plus million, and its state.
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snapdragon
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Post by snapdragon on May 21, 2024 15:04:16 GMT -5
In my case it's the cost of Medicaid. In Oregon they bill you back for the cost. I know Mom got much better care in OR. She was able to get more resources, so they asked for what money back to extend to others.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on May 21, 2024 21:26:22 GMT -5
I had a two-fer phone call with my Mom and my older brother. He called back later to tell me she is ok with selling her house/farmstead. Her house is undergoing renovations due to a dehumidifier fire in her basement. I suggested that these are decisions that cannot be reversed, so let's just go slow. No need to sell it before she is gone. She is liking the apartment she came back to. One step at a time. Things could change if she goes into assisted living or nursing care, and change quickly.
We have done all we can to prepare for our parent's estates. Now it comes down to taking care of the people.
And mitigating our risk with an elderly driver with considerable assets.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 22, 2024 7:37:32 GMT -5
In my case it's the cost of Medicaid. In Oregon they bill you back for the cost. I know Mom got much better care in OR. She was able to get more resources, so they asked for what money back to extend to others. I receoved bills for all of my rep payee clients with the bill to repay the state for Medicaid. Not a one of them had over $500. So what money they had in their name didn't start to cover the money spent on their care. The person can only have $2000 in assets. So there isn't going to be much money unless they owned property. None of mine did. It had been sold long ago to pay for the nursing home.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 22, 2024 9:30:01 GMT -5
In my case it's the cost of Medicaid. In Oregon they bill you back for the cost. I know Mom got much better care in OR. She was able to get more resources, so they asked for what money back to extend to others. They do in Nebraska as well but you can't squeeze blood from a stone. My grandmother won't have anything outside of $2000 when she passes. She will have spent far more in Medicaid costs. Every other penny has gone to the nursing home. Her monthly SS and pension also go straight to the nursing home. So they can bill her estate all they want but they'll have to eat the costs. GU still had the house. We are just not sure how they came to $100k. That is not quite a full year of private pay at my grandmother's nursing home. Iowa Medicaid only pays $5k a year that is why so many aren't accepting it anymore. I would guess Nebraska pays about the same. We can't remember when my dad had to abandon GU so the state might be right about the cost. Would have been nice to see a bill. I don't exactly like that they can just tell the courts they need $100k and that's that. Feels rather shady considering I have to account for every single freaking penny my grandma has for them. They could extend me the same courtesy. The $3k in estate taxes was just a nice bonus Fuck you.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 22, 2024 10:54:29 GMT -5
I stay out of it between the siblings but I do talk to DH. His mom died fairly quickly so this is all new to him. His mother was already dying when she chose hospice. She was in and out of the hospital for about a month but it was less than a week after she came home that she died. She had hospice staff coming in/out for her. Caretaking was minimal. Just keep her comfortable till she passes. I've BTDT got the T shirt with my grandmother. I told him you are a grown adult I am not going to tell you what to do or forbid you from doing anything but I want you to at least listen to me about how much of a toll this will take on all of you and where this made lead. He went into this assuming the end was near because again . .his mother. I told him my grandmother was about two inches from death when we found her. She's going on year 2 or 3 in the home. She has family that has lived to be 103. Despite her mind that woman is as healthy as a freaking horse. I am not always joking about Gwen inheriting her. I may freaking die before grandma does. Besides the soiling himself and falling his FIL is otherwise "fine" such as he can be. So this could go on for a very long time. I said you guys can't care for him at home indefinitely. Eventually it's going to become unsafe. And if it becomes unsafe they don't give a shit that you guys were trying to do what you thought was best. Again exhibit A: my grandmother. here's how we phrased it to my dad about my mother with her dementia: You can only do so much. You are exhausted and have your own health issues. You can either get her one the wait list and place her in the nursing home of your choice as soon as a bed is opened (the nice one right down the street from my dad's house) because you have the ability to self pay for at least 6 months, or you can wait until something goes wrong with either her or you, and she gets put in whatever nursing home is available at that time, which may be someplace 2 to 3 hours away. He put her on the wait list. He declined placement a few times because of COVID and he wouldn't be able to visit, but once she had her nighttime escape episode where the cops called me to come get her, he placed her very quickly after that.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 22, 2024 11:05:13 GMT -5
In my case it's the cost of Medicaid. In Oregon they bill you back for the cost. I know Mom got much better care in OR. She was able to get more resources, so they asked for what money back to extend to others. They do in Nebraska as well but you can't squeeze blood from a stone. My grandmother won't have anything outside of $2000 when she passes. She will have spent far more in Medicaid costs. Every other penny has gone to the nursing home. Her monthly SS and pension also go straight to the nursing home. So they can bill her estate all they want but they'll have to eat the costs. GU still had the house. We are just not sure how they came to $100k. That is not quite a full year of private pay at my grandmother's nursing home. Iowa Medicaid only pays $5k a year that is why so many aren't accepting it anymore. I would guess Nebraska pays about the same. We can't remember when my dad had to abandon GU so the state might be right about the cost. Would have been nice to see a bill. I don't exactly like that they can just tell the courts they need $100k and that's that. Feels rather shady considering I have to account for every single freaking penny my grandma has for them. They could extend me the same courtesy. The $3k in estate taxes was just a nice bonus Fuck you. Thank God I live in NY. NE is way beyond fucked up.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 22, 2024 11:05:33 GMT -5
That's pretty much what I've told him. You can either continue as is and eventually something happens and now none of you get a vote on where he goes. I said you saw it first hand with my grandmother. All it takes is one serious fall.
OR you can hire people who know WTF they are doing and keep him in his home for as long as you can. Medicare freaking pays for it!
I also told him you have a family with minor kids. Your brother and sister have raised their kids and are in a different life phase than you. I don't care if he works down there during the day it doesn't matter where he does his job at. What I care about is he keeps insisting it will "only" be 4 weeks that he has to spend hte night.
But already BIL is wanting DH to spend the night again so BIL can have a break. It's only a matter of time (and IMO way more understandable since she has done the lion's share) SIL is going to need a break again.
I said your life and our family continues after FIL is gone. You need to start thinking about that and how much time/energy/mental health you are going to put into trying to honor your dad's insistence the he doesn't want "strangers" in his house. It's not fair to any of you if he's getting to the point he needs 24/7 care. He needs to shelve his pride, you need to stop catering to it and hire a full time or at least part time care giver.
That is part of caregiving is eventually you have to knuckle down and make your parent face they are old. I said you can't make him accept the help or prevent him from firing them he has the right to but you need to have that conversation with him.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 22, 2024 11:06:24 GMT -5
They do in Nebraska as well but you can't squeeze blood from a stone. My grandmother won't have anything outside of $2000 when she passes. She will have spent far more in Medicaid costs. Every other penny has gone to the nursing home. Her monthly SS and pension also go straight to the nursing home. So they can bill her estate all they want but they'll have to eat the costs. GU still had the house. We are just not sure how they came to $100k. That is not quite a full year of private pay at my grandmother's nursing home. Iowa Medicaid only pays $5k a year that is why so many aren't accepting it anymore. I would guess Nebraska pays about the same. We can't remember when my dad had to abandon GU so the state might be right about the cost. Would have been nice to see a bill. I don't exactly like that they can just tell the courts they need $100k and that's that. Feels rather shady considering I have to account for every single freaking penny my grandma has for them. They could extend me the same courtesy. The $3k in estate taxes was just a nice bonus Fuck you. Thank God I live in NY. NE is way beyond fucked up. Yep. I am glad I just have to deal with working in NE. Iowa isn't exactly a peach either but given the option I prefer IA.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 22, 2024 11:23:19 GMT -5
They do in Nebraska as well but you can't squeeze blood from a stone. My grandmother won't have anything outside of $2000 when she passes. She will have spent far more in Medicaid costs. Every other penny has gone to the nursing home. Her monthly SS and pension also go straight to the nursing home. So they can bill her estate all they want but they'll have to eat the costs. GU still had the house. We are just not sure how they came to $100k. That is not quite a full year of private pay at my grandmother's nursing home. Iowa Medicaid only pays $5k a year that is why so many aren't accepting it anymore. I would guess Nebraska pays about the same. We can't remember when my dad had to abandon GU so the state might be right about the cost. Would have been nice to see a bill. I don't exactly like that they can just tell the courts they need $100k and that's that. Feels rather shady considering I have to account for every single freaking penny my grandma has for them. They could extend me the same courtesy. The $3k in estate taxes was just a nice bonus Fuck you. Thank God I live in NY. NE is way beyond fucked up. NY gets their pound of flesh too. I got to pay 10% to NYS as a non resident for my share of dad’s house.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 22, 2024 11:28:59 GMT -5
Thank God I live in NY. NE is way beyond fucked up. NY gets their pound of flesh too. I got to pay 10% to NYS as a non resident for my share of dad’s house. Oregon does something similar for non residents as well. And of course the very low threshhold for estate tax starting at $1M.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 22, 2024 11:31:22 GMT -5
I had a two-fer phone call with my Mom and my older brother. He called back later to tell me she is ok with selling her house/farmstead. Her house is undergoing renovations due to a dehumidifier fire in her basement. I suggested that these are decisions that cannot be reversed, so let's just go slow. No need to sell it before she is gone. She is liking the apartment she came back to. One step at a time. Things could change if she goes into assisted living or nursing care, and change quickly. We have done all we can to prepare for our parent's estates. Now it comes down to taking care of the people. And mitigating our risk with an elderly driver with considerable assets. I don't know bookkeeper, sounds like she's ready. Is there an issue with her exceeding the $250k/$500k limit? I'd think I'd want to simplyfy the process by getting rid of the house once it's renovated. Do you want the property as a rental?
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 22, 2024 11:32:37 GMT -5
I can at least understand paying taxes on money you got. Paying taxes on money you didn't even get is just wrong and plain theft.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 22, 2024 11:55:55 GMT -5
You all think that is bad? If I still have any assets in the US when I die, after I move to Germany, the IRS will take at least 40% of that. Of every fricking dollar!!! I don't know what CA will do but my newest urgent task is to find a tax attorney who specializes in US/German tax law. This "fun" little provision only applies to green card holders who leave the US.
Oh and if you officially give up your Green Card when you leave the IRS will take that 40% of all your assets right away.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 22, 2024 12:08:42 GMT -5
I had a two-fer phone call with my Mom and my older brother. He called back later to tell me she is ok with selling her house/farmstead. Her house is undergoing renovations due to a dehumidifier fire in her basement. I suggested that these are decisions that cannot be reversed, so let's just go slow. No need to sell it before she is gone. She is liking the apartment she came back to. One step at a time. Things could change if she goes into assisted living or nursing care, and change quickly. We have done all we can to prepare for our parent's estates. Now it comes down to taking care of the people. And mitigating our risk with an elderly driver with considerable assets. I would get rid of it ASAP. It's not worth the headache of holding onto it. If she goes into a nursing home they are going to expect you to sell it to pay for her care. If she ends up on Medicaid then you get the fun of going through the courts to sell the house and it is a PITA. Sell it on your own terms and stick the funds in a bank account to be used for her care at a future date. It's a lot easier to write a check than off load a house. Plus if the house is gone that prevents anyone from trying to release her back to it or her trying to convince someone to move her back in. It's gone it is gone. ETA: If you were to rent it then that counts as income for her which would go against her asset limits. If someone decides to live there like your older brother he would have to jump through 25 million hoops to prove it is his primary residence. If it sits empty you risk squatters nowadays.
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Bonny
Junior Associate
Joined: Nov 17, 2013 10:54:37 GMT -5
Posts: 7,444
Location: No Place Like Home!
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Post by Bonny on May 22, 2024 15:09:17 GMT -5
You all think that is bad? If I still have any assets in the US when I die, after I move to Germany, the IRS will take at least 40% of that. Of every fricking dollar!!! I don't know what CA will do but my newest urgent task is to find a tax attorney who specializes in US/German tax law. This "fun" little provision only applies to green card holders who leave the US. Oh and if you officially give up your Green Card when you leave the IRS will take that 40% of all your assets right away. Hmm, that doesn't sound right. That sounds like Germany's tax on worldwide income. The tax treaty between the U.S. and Germany does prevent double taxation but as a German resident you get to that 40% on worldwide income. KPMG did our US and Germany taxes. They're expensive but probably what you need to keep from making an even more expensive mistake. They have offices on the Peninsula. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,481
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Post by NastyWoman on May 22, 2024 15:35:27 GMT -5
Bonny I would only get taxed in one country but, for instance, if for some reason Germany does not tax SS and/or my pension (I don't know the exact in and outs of the treaty with Germany) the US will tax those by 40%. For any potential assets at the time of death I can only try to avoid double taxation.for my kids. As I said: this is a special treat only long term GC holders get to deal with. ETA: this is the reason I need an international tax specialist asap. If there is no way to avoid double taxation you can bet your petootie that it will be first class for me from thereon out. I am not worried about leaving my kids an inheritance but I am not a spender so chances are. However, if two tax entities think they can walk of with my hard earned money -> see NastyWoman spend, spend, spend
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bookkeeper
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 13:40:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,710
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Post by bookkeeper on May 23, 2024 8:38:00 GMT -5
I had a two-fer phone call with my Mom and my older brother. He called back later to tell me she is ok with selling her house/farmstead. Her house is undergoing renovations due to a dehumidifier fire in her basement. I suggested that these are decisions that cannot be reversed, so let's just go slow. No need to sell it before she is gone. She is liking the apartment she came back to. One step at a time. Things could change if she goes into assisted living or nursing care, and change quickly. We have done all we can to prepare for our parent's estates. Now it comes down to taking care of the people. And mitigating our risk with an elderly driver with considerable assets. I don't know bookkeeper, sounds like she's ready. Is there an issue with her exceeding the $250k/$500k limit? I'd think I'd want to simplyfy the process by getting rid of the house once it's renovated. Do you want the property as a rental? She would exceed the $250k limit. Her house would probably be worth $300,000 and the yard would be valued separately (10 acres) due to the farming operation. It would be all sold together, but I think we need to wait until she passes unless we want to donate to the IRS. Renting the house is not an attractive option. I would rather leave it vacant and clean until her passing. The mowing is the big thing. It is 10 acres that needs mowed at least once a week from April until October.
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bookkeeper
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 13:40:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,710
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Post by bookkeeper on May 23, 2024 8:52:21 GMT -5
I had a two-fer phone call with my Mom and my older brother. He called back later to tell me she is ok with selling her house/farmstead. Her house is undergoing renovations due to a dehumidifier fire in her basement. I suggested that these are decisions that cannot be reversed, so let's just go slow. No need to sell it before she is gone. She is liking the apartment she came back to. One step at a time. Things could change if she goes into assisted living or nursing care, and change quickly. We have done all we can to prepare for our parent's estates. Now it comes down to taking care of the people. And mitigating our risk with an elderly driver with considerable assets. I would get rid of it ASAP. It's not worth the headache of holding onto it. If she goes into a nursing home they are going to expect you to sell it to pay for her care. If she ends up on Medicaid then you get the fun of going through the courts to sell the house and it is a PITA. Sell it on your own terms and stick the funds in a bank account to be used for her care at a future date. It's a lot easier to write a check than off load a house. Plus if the house is gone that prevents anyone from trying to release her back to it or her trying to convince someone to move her back in. It's gone it is gone. ETA: If you were to rent it then that counts as income for her which would go against her asset limits. If someone decides to live there like your older brother he would have to jump through 25 million hoops to prove it is his primary residence. If it sits empty you risk squatters nowadays. Your advice is spot on, however, we are working the other end of the elderly finance puzzle. Mom will be cash pay going into assisted living or nursing home care. She has significant assets and will be required to pay for her own care. The house is already in a Trust for her care. Before my Dad died, he sold some property and bought a 1M annuity to use for future care needs. She also has long term care insurance. This is in addition to her house and farm ground that she owns outright. Her annual income from farm rent will be enough to pay for her care without selling her property. Leaving the house vacant will pose a risk of squatters, but that seems like the best option available at this point. Mom's yard gets a lot of snow in the winter time, which acts as it's own security system. You are not living there without a tractor and bucket to move snow in the winter. She also lives on a busy paved road. Lots of traffic goes by, and her friends watch as they go past. Someone would be found out quickly if they were living there.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 23, 2024 10:07:46 GMT -5
I would get rid of it ASAP. It's not worth the headache of holding onto it. If she goes into a nursing home they are going to expect you to sell it to pay for her care. If she ends up on Medicaid then you get the fun of going through the courts to sell the house and it is a PITA. Sell it on your own terms and stick the funds in a bank account to be used for her care at a future date. It's a lot easier to write a check than off load a house. Plus if the house is gone that prevents anyone from trying to release her back to it or her trying to convince someone to move her back in. It's gone it is gone. ETA: If you were to rent it then that counts as income for her which would go against her asset limits. If someone decides to live there like your older brother he would have to jump through 25 million hoops to prove it is his primary residence. If it sits empty you risk squatters nowadays. Your advice is spot on, however, we are working the other end of the elderly finance puzzle. Mom will be cash pay going into assisted living or nursing home care. She has significant assets and will be required to pay for her own care. The house is already in a Trust for her care. Before my Dad died, he sold some property and bought a 1M annuity to use for future care needs. She also has long term care insurance. This is in addition to her house and farm ground that she owns outright. Her annual income from farm rent will be enough to pay for her care without selling her property. Leaving the house vacant will pose a risk of squatters, but that seems like the best option available at this point. Mom's yard gets a lot of snow in the winter time, which acts as it's own security system. You are not living there without a tractor and bucket to move snow in the winter. She also lives on a busy paved road. Lots of traffic goes by, and her friends watch as they go past. Someone would be found out quickly if they were living there.Would it make sense to try to rent it out for caretaking? There are enough people working remotely that location shouldn’t be a problem. At least this would resolve the squatters issue and keep an eye on things should something happen.
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