Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:10:49 GMT -5
Hell, I worry that I screwed my kids up by not becoming a single mom sooner! All we can do is our best...in the end, we all fuck up and move on I balance my thinking with that, and with good enough. but when i'm too tired to engage with them after work, or i'm hurting their feelings trying to get them out of the house so i can get them to daycare so i can get to work, it's just a shitty way to start my day and more importantly, their day. i'm somehow trying to print some task lists now so that maybe tomorrow will be better. DW makes good money, and i make great money, but when you try know your careers have a lifespan, you have to save and invest hard, which means you take home 30% of your gross. then skim off a $6k mortgage, 2k for kids care and activities, and then food, utilities, clothes, medical care, insurance, yadda. don't get me wrong, we take great vacations and stuff, but that fixed 8k/month is the real rough number and it sure feels like a treadmill. while the numbers in mint look a lot better every year, it sure doesn't feel rich in the day to day, month to month, and you wonder why you're killing yourself My kids are older now but I remember plenty of days trying to get them out the door for either daycare or school and I would wind up yelling. Then I would sit at my desk and want to cry because that isn't how I want my day to start, let alone theirs. I would promise myself I would handle them much better the next morning...but it seemed I yelled more often then not.
As for the expenses, this is a struggle that I have fairly often. When I got divorced I bought a very inexpensive house. Three years later and I'm realizing that I really don't like living in an old house. I put in foam insulation last year to the tune of $5k but the house is still drafty as hell. I have a small yard and I have neighbors...like right there! I've started thinking about buying a new house. But then I think that I'm 46 years old. Do I really want to take on that kind of debt at this stage of my life? I dont' want the stress of debt at this point....but I get house envy!!
|
|
dee27
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 28, 2016 21:08:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,211
|
Post by dee27 on Jan 10, 2018 15:17:31 GMT -5
I miss having a house, but DH will be 71 in a few months, and a house is probably not practical at this stage of our lives.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 15:24:33 GMT -5
I balance my thinking with that, and with good enough. but when i'm too tired to engage with them after work, or i'm hurting their feelings trying to get them out of the house so i can get them to daycare so i can get to work, it's just a shitty way to start my day and more importantly, their day. i'm somehow trying to print some task lists now so that maybe tomorrow will be better. DW makes good money, and i make great money, but when you try know your careers have a lifespan, you have to save and invest hard, which means you take home 30% of your gross. then skim off a $6k mortgage, 2k for kids care and activities, and then food, utilities, clothes, medical care, insurance, yadda. don't get me wrong, we take great vacations and stuff, but that fixed 8k/month is the real rough number and it sure feels like a treadmill. while the numbers in mint look a lot better every year, it sure doesn't feel rich in the day to day, month to month, and you wonder why you're killing yourself My kids are older now but I remember plenty of days trying to get them out the door for either daycare or school and I would wind up yelling. Then I would sit at my desk and want to cry because that isn't how I want my day to start, let alone theirs. I would promise myself I would handle them much better the next morning...but it seemed I yelled more often then not.
As for the expenses, this is a struggle that I have fairly often. When I got divorced I bought a very inexpensive house. Three years later and I'm realizing that I really don't like living in an old house. I put in foam insulation last year to the tune of $5k but the house is still drafty as hell. I have a small yard and I have neighbors...like right there! I've started thinking about buying a new house. But then I think that I'm 46 years old. Do I really want to take on that kind of debt at this stage of my life? I dont' want the stress of debt at this point....but I get house envy!!
townhouse/condo? Won't solve the neighbor/small yard issue but it would be newer. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your house or yard. They're cute. Re: yelling/hurrying - that's all I do with DS. Because of my long commute, the days I have him I literally see him awake for maybe 2.5 hours each day. Hustle him awake at 7 and hustle him through dressing, breakfast, and brushing teeth so we leave at 8 for school/work.... then hurry to pick him up at 7, hurry home, and hurry/hustle him through PJs, brushing teeth, stories, and sleep. I admit that is my main motivator to find better work closer to home.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2018 15:29:22 GMT -5
I balance my thinking with that, and with good enough. but when i'm too tired to engage with them after work, or i'm hurting their feelings trying to get them out of the house so i can get them to daycare so i can get to work, it's just a shitty way to start my day and more importantly, their day. i'm somehow trying to print some task lists now so that maybe tomorrow will be better. DW makes good money, and i make great money, but when you try know your careers have a lifespan, you have to save and invest hard, which means you take home 30% of your gross. then skim off a $6k mortgage, 2k for kids care and activities, and then food, utilities, clothes, medical care, insurance, yadda. don't get me wrong, we take great vacations and stuff, but that fixed 8k/month is the real rough number and it sure feels like a treadmill. while the numbers in mint look a lot better every year, it sure doesn't feel rich in the day to day, month to month, and you wonder why you're killing yourself My kids are older now but I remember plenty of days trying to get them out the door for either daycare or school and I would wind up yelling. Then I would sit at my desk and want to cry because that isn't how I want my day to start, let alone theirs. I would promise myself I would handle them much better the next morning...but it seemed I yelled more often then not.
As for the expenses, this is a struggle that I have fairly often. When I got divorced I bought a very inexpensive house. Three years later and I'm realizing that I really don't like living in an old house. I put in foam insulation last year to the tune of $5k but the house is still drafty as hell. I have a small yard and I have neighbors...like right there! I've started thinking about buying a new house. But then I think that I'm 46 years old. Do I really want to take on that kind of debt at this stage of my life? I dont' want the stress of debt at this point....but I get house envy!!
I’m WAY older than you and I just bought a house.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:29:28 GMT -5
My kids are older now but I remember plenty of days trying to get them out the door for either daycare or school and I would wind up yelling. Then I would sit at my desk and want to cry because that isn't how I want my day to start, let alone theirs. I would promise myself I would handle them much better the next morning...but it seemed I yelled more often then not.
As for the expenses, this is a struggle that I have fairly often. When I got divorced I bought a very inexpensive house. Three years later and I'm realizing that I really don't like living in an old house. I put in foam insulation last year to the tune of $5k but the house is still drafty as hell. I have a small yard and I have neighbors...like right there! I've started thinking about buying a new house. But then I think that I'm 46 years old. Do I really want to take on that kind of debt at this stage of my life? I dont' want the stress of debt at this point....but I get house envy!!
townhouse/condo? Won't solve the neighbor/small yard issue but it would be newer. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your house or yard. They're cute. Re: yelling/hurrying - that's all I do with DS. Because of my long commute, the days I have him I literally see him awake for maybe 2.5 hours each day. Hustle him awake at 7 and hustle him through dressing, breakfast, and brushing teeth so we leave at 8 for school/work.... then hurry to pick him up at 7, hurry home, and hurry/hustle him through PJs, brushing teeth, stories, and sleep. I admit that is my main motivator to find better work closer to home. You are kind. It is the things that I took for granted before. Like having everything sealed up nice and tight...I get major drafts from everywhere! I need to either bite the bullet and invest money or sell it. I've been bitching for 3 years but other than the foam insulation, I've done squat to the inside!
I totally understand about getting home so late. While mine are older, my youngest still goes to bed very early...like 7:30! On a good day I'm not getting home until 6 so it leaves very little time to spend with her. I can't keep her up later because she is just a kid that needs her sleep. she will tell me she is tired if I don't put her to bed. It is also one reason that I have stayed at my company. I have about a 20-25 minute commute right now. I don't want to turn that into a 45-60 minute one!
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:30:58 GMT -5
My kids are older now but I remember plenty of days trying to get them out the door for either daycare or school and I would wind up yelling. Then I would sit at my desk and want to cry because that isn't how I want my day to start, let alone theirs. I would promise myself I would handle them much better the next morning...but it seemed I yelled more often then not.
As for the expenses, this is a struggle that I have fairly often. When I got divorced I bought a very inexpensive house. Three years later and I'm realizing that I really don't like living in an old house. I put in foam insulation last year to the tune of $5k but the house is still drafty as hell. I have a small yard and I have neighbors...like right there! I've started thinking about buying a new house. But then I think that I'm 46 years old. Do I really want to take on that kind of debt at this stage of my life? I dont' want the stress of debt at this point....but I get house envy!!
I’m WAY older than you and I just bought a house. Don't encourage me!lol My 16 year old overheard me talking about maybe wanting to get a new house...last night she was pulling up pictures of the houses she wants me to look at...let's just say that she has very expensive taste!lol
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2018 15:32:15 GMT -5
You can plastic your windows until you can replace them. There’s other ways to insulate
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 15:35:59 GMT -5
townhouse/condo? Won't solve the neighbor/small yard issue but it would be newer. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your house or yard. They're cute. Re: yelling/hurrying - that's all I do with DS. Because of my long commute, the days I have him I literally see him awake for maybe 2.5 hours each day. Hustle him awake at 7 and hustle him through dressing, breakfast, and brushing teeth so we leave at 8 for school/work.... then hurry to pick him up at 7, hurry home, and hurry/hustle him through PJs, brushing teeth, stories, and sleep. I admit that is my main motivator to find better work closer to home. You are kind. It is the things that I took for granted before. Like having everything sealed up nice and tight...I get major drafts from everywhere! I need to either bite the bullet and invest money or sell it. I've been bitching for 3 years but other than the foam insulation, I've done squat to the inside!
I totally understand about getting home so late. While mine are older, my youngest still goes to bed very early...like 7:30! On a good day I'm not getting home until 6 so it leaves very little time to spend with her. I can't keep her up later because she is just a kid that needs her sleep. she will tell me she is tired if I don't put her to bed. It is also one reason that I have stayed at my company. I have about a 20-25 minute commute right now. I don't want to turn that into a 45-60 minute one!
1. you can afford it. If not... 2. is the BF handy at all?
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:36:46 GMT -5
You can plastic your windows until you can replace them. There’s other ways to insulate The weird thing is that windows are only a small part of the problem. There are drafts around the doors, drafts coming in through the outlets (just bought a pack of insulated things for that!), mouldings, and they couldn't put the foam in the kitchen so that is freaking freezing.
I did buy some plastic shrink stuff to put up. It was just delivered this week so it will be going up this weekend.
The pipes in my downstairs bathroom even froze. I said it was a good thing I grew up poor and lived in houses with shitty insulation before because I grabbed the hair dryer and went to work on defrosting them...my BF, who is NOT handy at all and never had pipes freeze, was all "maybe we should put the heater under the cabinet"...love him to death but when it comes to house stuff, useless!lol
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2018 15:39:13 GMT -5
It’s tough. I had an old house up north as my first house and it was always like that as well. 1946.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:39:37 GMT -5
You are kind. It is the things that I took for granted before. Like having everything sealed up nice and tight...I get major drafts from everywhere! I need to either bite the bullet and invest money or sell it. I've been bitching for 3 years but other than the foam insulation, I've done squat to the inside!
I totally understand about getting home so late. While mine are older, my youngest still goes to bed very early...like 7:30! On a good day I'm not getting home until 6 so it leaves very little time to spend with her. I can't keep her up later because she is just a kid that needs her sleep. she will tell me she is tired if I don't put her to bed. It is also one reason that I have stayed at my company. I have about a 20-25 minute commute right now. I don't want to turn that into a 45-60 minute one!
1. you can afford it. If not... 2. is the BF handy at all? LOL on #2...I just posted to zib. I love BF. He has a heart of gold but he is about as handy as I am! Which sometimes frustrates me because I'm very old-fashioned in certain ways. He is a man and should be handy, dammit! My dad and ex both are super handy.
As for affording it, today I can afford it...but who knows about tomorrow. I'm such a worrier that a lot of debt scares the hell out of me! I am also a person that takes forever to make a decision. I still have that ugly green wallpaper in my bedroom because I just haven't decided what I want to do in there...I'm paralyzed by decisions!
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:40:22 GMT -5
It’s tough. I had an old house up north as my first house and it was always like that as well. 1946. Yep. That's probably not far off from the age of my house.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 15:43:32 GMT -5
you don't have to decide this minute - just get some quotes and see what's out there. Or you and the BF can Google/YouTube it and try doing it yourselves. You have a lot of good investments and you make a good amount of money, so there has to be a substantial cushion for things like this. Life is too short to pay money to live in a cold-ass, drafty house! LOL ETA: maybe the above is why I'm broke, loL!
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 10, 2018 15:46:32 GMT -5
you don't have to decide this minute - just get some quotes and see what's out there. Or you and the BF can Google/YouTube it and try doing it yourselves. You have a lot of good investments and you make a good amount of money, so there has to be a substantial cushion for things like this. Life is too short to pay money to live in a cold-ass, drafty house! LOL Hahaha! I totally agree on not living in a cold ass house. I thought the foam insulation that I had done would have solved this. It helped a lot but I’m still cold! I actually have a guy coming this weekend to see what he can do to seal it up. I’m just worried that it is an old house and there is only so much that can be done...
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 2, 2024 10:43:40 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2018 15:54:10 GMT -5
I don't think there are too many parents (probably none) that haven't had mornings at their desk regretting how things went before they got there. I have had some terrible mornings.
|
|
dee27
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 28, 2016 21:08:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,211
|
Post by dee27 on Jan 10, 2018 16:26:29 GMT -5
My son was a dawdler in the mornings, and it drove me nuts. Yelling did not motivate him, but taking away privileges did. I agree it was a terrible way to start the day. DD was ready on time but always left something home like homework, lunch, eyeglasses or gym shoes and her GM would deliver them to school. Finally, my mom said enough! DD did improve and was better at putting all of her belongings in the backpack, but like anything kid related, it took time.
|
|
svwashout
Established Member
Joined: May 22, 2011 12:41:13 GMT -5
Posts: 380
|
Post by svwashout on Jan 10, 2018 17:40:38 GMT -5
Personally I think bogleheads has the right idea with politics in just completely banning it. If it's going to be primarily a money board, the politics just make a lot of people hate each other. Not sure if you can do that with this board because they probably rely on it for a lot of activity. I suggested it awhile back, but I think there are way too many sub-forums here. I think it should be maybe 3-4 and then call it a day. I also think there are too many pinned topics as well. I'm not sure what to think about the average boglehead though. Could there be that many liars in one place or maybe just really successful people gather there. Part of me thinks they are aren't BSing because they do seem to know a lot about random stuff. I don't know about 3-4 subforums, but I agree there are way too many of them here--and ones that are never used. And nothing was ever done about the ones that are never used. (ahem Novavax, I'm looking at you ) Interesting timing, it popped to a new 52wk high today-- finance.yahoo.com/news/novavax-analyst-turns-uber-bullish-165359044.htmlfinance.yahoo.com/news/apos-why-novavax-inc-stock-193500951.htmlVery dangerous one I think, but then there's been a lot of fast & crazy price action on no-names recently. Careful out there.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Jan 10, 2018 18:30:57 GMT -5
I don't think there are too many parents (probably none) that haven't had mornings at their desk regretting how things went before they got there. I have had some terrible mornings. Mornings are the #1 reason my husband stays home with the kids. (Okay, maybe not quite #1, but I love running out of the house and making my husband deal with the kids, sorry honey, I have to get to work).
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Jan 10, 2018 19:18:01 GMT -5
Ok, does that warrant an entire subforum to itself, though?
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,564
Member is Online
|
Post by billisonboard on Jan 10, 2018 19:27:50 GMT -5
... What I did have that they didn't was drama/stage training. My parents sent me to some summer and after-school enrichment courses when I was in elementary and junior high school, which included drama classes at the Pasadena Playhouse. I also took drama in high school. ... Total Tangent: Adult community theater is a kick. When your life allows it, I encourage it.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,372
|
Post by swamp on Jan 10, 2018 19:53:12 GMT -5
I feel like a total hot mess everywhere except professionally, and even there I have my days.
|
|
Poptart
Established Member
Joined: Sept 8, 2011 18:23:48 GMT -5
Posts: 433
|
Post by Poptart on Jan 10, 2018 20:36:59 GMT -5
@mj2.0
Maybe this will make you feel better, I'm 34 and still live at home, mostly because my income is a substantial part of the household income but also because I owe a lot of money and need to pay it off. I've been dating the same person for almost five years and we want to move in together but I refuse to do it until all my debt is paid off, add to that the fact that we live in a HCLA and sometimes it feels like we are never going to make progress. I can tackle my debt (and I am) but then I can't be as aggressive with my savings, getting into an apartment will cost at a minimum $4,000.00, and I also want to have a good EF before moving in.
I'm also at this point thinking that having kids is just not in the cards for me, I'll turn 35 this year and it's nearing my personal cut-off time, I also don't have a ring on my finger and probably won't until next year, ugh, I just depressed myself. I'm gonna go cuddle my cat!
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2018 20:55:38 GMT -5
Never bothered me at all to holler at my kids to move their behinds. My working fed, housed, and clothed them besides providing for those lovely extras they needed so bad. If I didn’t work, they didn’t have so it was a team effort.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 21:08:40 GMT -5
@mj2.0 Maybe this will make you feel better, I'm 34 and still live at home, mostly because my income is a substantial part of the household income but also because I owe a lot of money and need to pay it off. I've been dating the same person for almost five years and we want to move in together but I refuse to do it until all my debt is paid off, add to that the fact that we live in a HCLA and sometimes it feels like we are never going to make progress. I can tackle my debt (and I am) but then I can't be as aggressive with my savings, getting into an apartment will cost at a minimum $4,000.00, and I also want to have a good EF before moving in. I'm also at this point thinking that having kids is just not in the cards for me, I'll turn 35 this year and it's nearing my personal cut-off time, I also don't have a ring on my finger and probably won't until next year, ugh, I just depressed myself. I'm gonna go cuddle my cat! you're being smart about things - absolutely nothing wrong with that. And you never know on the kids situation.... the Universe seems to have plans for us that are not exactly the plans we have for ourselves, lol. I want you and everyone else to know I didn't start this thread to look for validation (although I can see why it might seem that way). I just felt that pang of "damn, this is not where I saw myself at (insert current age here)" that I usually get at least once a year, normally around the holidays. On NYE I hung out with some good girlfriends and imbibed... stuff.... so I missed doing my yearly assessment/comparing myself to some fantasy Me. It's come late this year. I have already embraced that I am Single Man Poison, so I'm going to use the effort I would have spent dating on improving my job skills, making new friends, budgeting better, and trying to be more present in general.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 21:10:46 GMT -5
I feel like a total hot mess everywhere except professionally, and even there I have my days. do you think our parents felt the same way we feel? Like they were hot messes and were failing at life?
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,221
|
Post by tallguy on Jan 10, 2018 21:13:59 GMT -5
Probably not to anywhere near the same degree. Expectations were lower and comparisons were not so in-your-face everywhere you turned. Want a simple solution? Don't compare your own reality to everyone else's ideal projection.
|
|
Poptart
Established Member
Joined: Sept 8, 2011 18:23:48 GMT -5
Posts: 433
|
Post by Poptart on Jan 10, 2018 21:23:06 GMT -5
@mj2.0 Maybe this will make you feel better, I'm 34 and still live at home, mostly because my income is a substantial part of the household income but also because I owe a lot of money and need to pay it off. I've been dating the same person for almost five years and we want to move in together but I refuse to do it until all my debt is paid off, add to that the fact that we live in a HCLA and sometimes it feels like we are never going to make progress. I can tackle my debt (and I am) but then I can't be as aggressive with my savings, getting into an apartment will cost at a minimum $4,000.00, and I also want to have a good EF before moving in. I'm also at this point thinking that having kids is just not in the cards for me, I'll turn 35 this year and it's nearing my personal cut-off time, I also don't have a ring on my finger and probably won't until next year, ugh, I just depressed myself. I'm gonna go cuddle my cat! you're being smart about things - absolutely nothing wrong with that. And you never know on the kids situation.... the Universe seems to have plans for us that are not exactly the plans we have for ourselves, lol. I want you and everyone else to know I didn't start this thread to look for validation (although I can see why it might seem that way). I just felt that pang of "damn, this is not where I saw myself at (insert current age here)" that I usually get at least once a year, normally around the holidays. On NYE I hung out with some good girlfriends and imbibed... stuff.... so I missed doing my yearly assessment/comparing myself to some fantasy Me. It's come late this year. I have already embraced that I am Single Man Poison, so I'm going to use the effort I would have spent dating on improving my job skills, making new friends, budgeting better, and trying to be more present in general. I get you, still on New Year's Eve and several times after that I cried because I just felt stuck and like my life was not going anywhere (I blame this also on the fact that I got super sick). I have a very good friend who got divorced maybe a year and a half ago, she had to move in with her dad and her husband got primary custody of their kid, her husband has since moved on and now has a GF who he allows around his son, to the point that the kid made a mother's day card for the new GF- my friend was devastated, I guess the dating pool is pretty crappy, and seeing your ex move on so fast is still a huge blow to the ego. Anyways, a few months ago she was in tears because her boys birthday was coming up and she had very little money (was just starting a new job) and while she struggled just to get a gift and a cake her ex took it upon himself to take their kid to not one, but THREE amusement parks. I called her and she was in tears, I reminded her that at the end of the day her son is lucky to have a mom who is an engaged as she is- we all take for granted the fact that every woman with children is a good mom, but that's not true, we grew up with kids who had mothers that were on drugs and not there at all for their kids. Your son is lucky to have a parent that does as much as you do and as he grows up he will learn to appreciate the fact that you busted you butt so that he could have a good life, you're doing ok, you're going to be fine. It may take a lot of work but you can do it!
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 10, 2018 21:31:01 GMT -5
that is awful about your friend's ex. I really hope things turn around for her.
|
|
dee27
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 28, 2016 21:08:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,211
|
Post by dee27 on Jan 10, 2018 22:05:23 GMT -5
I feel like a total hot mess everywhere except professionally, and even there I have my days. do you think our parents felt the same way we feel? Like they were hot messes and were failing at life? No, having kids was pretty much the status quo when my parents had us, and our families lived in close proximity to one another. We had so many cousins who were close in age to us, and the older cousins became the baby sitters that were more lenient than our parents. Our parents were strict, but we also had a lot of freedom to make our own mistakes without society implying that they were not raising us properly. When we screwed up, we were punished, but our daily lives were fairly regimented: school, chores and free time after homework. We played outside every day which was great for my brother who was a high energy kid. Within our circle of friends, no one really got into serious trouble until they were teenagers, and the troubles were minor compared to what some teens try today.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 11, 2018 7:11:18 GMT -5
I feel like a total hot mess everywhere except professionally, and even there I have my days. do you think our parents felt the same way we feel? Like they were hot messes and were failing at life? Not at all. My mother thought she was the best mother in the world.
|
|