debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 1:56:59 GMT -5
DS3 is off to college in the UK in Sept. He will live in a dorm. Some dorm prices include "food credit" for the campus restaurants, others don't. The dorm DS3 is staying in does not include pre-paid "food credit". So his situation is more similar (financially-speaking) to someone living off-campus, even though he will live in a dorm.
How much do you give your college kid, and for what? How often do you give them money? Every month? Every semester? Every year? What do you expect that money to cover?
I'm curious because we are trying to figure it out. :-)
PS DS3 is planning to get a PT job for "spending money" but we prefer he not work more than 10h a week or so.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 6:38:41 GMT -5
Food, I'd pony up for. Can you send him grocery gift cards?
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 7:22:17 GMT -5
Oped we're definitely not planning to let him starve! We are definitely planning to pay for food, and more (but probably not spending money).
We probably can't send grocery gift cards but I will have to look into that.
I was just curious to know how much people give their kids, and how often. (Obviously the amounts will vary somewhat based on COL.)
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jul 25, 2016 7:39:58 GMT -5
Our kids got money all at once at beginning of semester since they were mostly proceeds from student loans. They were responsible for making money last the whole semester.
I had joint checking account so I could monitor spending. They use debit cards for almost all purchases. They did pretty well with this. Child 3 is the biggest spender and sometimes needs extra money. I can easily transfer money if needed via online bank website.
Gift cards are PITA. You would have to mail, make sure they get picked up.
You know your kids and how much you can trust them. Youngest is getting $6k at start of semester for food, rent and books. I know he could book a trip to Europe, but I trust him to spend it wisely.
Youngest has worked quite a bit while in school, because he is biggest spender. But I would rather have them do well in school.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 25, 2016 7:44:04 GMT -5
My parents covered tuition, room and board which included a meal plan when I live din the dorms, and I dunno, maybe I got $150/month for extras.
I really didn't need anything else. They shopped Costco/Sams club for me before I left for college to buy me laundry detergent, shampoo, toothpaste. etc. So I didn't have to buy it on campus. Stuff from stores on campus is always way more expensive.
I wasn't drinking yet, and it didn't dawn on me to eat out. I took advantage of as many free activities as I could (concerts, etc). Campus had a movie series for cheap. Even sporting event tickets, were cheap for students..
I also didn't need clothing, really. And I didn't have a car. I didn't need it. My freshman year, we did have to pay for a bus, but soon after we got free bus passes as students. For things like hair cuts, I'd get them done on breaks, so then I didn't need to get them done as often during the school year. I also didn't go home very often on the weekends. Sexual activity was pretty minimal too, so little costs there.
This was also 20 years ago.
Once I had a good estimate of costs, then I started supplying my parents with a budget every semester. I included football tickets, beer money, etc, and included my earning potential and what I was short. Dad always got a kick out of the fact that I put beer money in the budget and that line always got funded without question.
The only thing that we really couldn't budget for were some costs associated with being a music major. How we handled things was very individual to the situation.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 7:48:40 GMT -5
Alabama, DH wants to give DS3 money for the whole school year. I prefer to give it every month. I think we may compromise on every semester. Gira LOL at the beer money. I think DS3 can use his spending money for that. He will need a bus pass. He shouldn't have many clothing or medical expenses since we'll do that when he's home (regular doc / dentist appts, obviously). He'll need to pay to use the dorm laundry machines.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 8:03:11 GMT -5
His school provides a suggested budget which seems very comprehensive. It includes: books, food, toiletries, laundry, phone, clothes, bus pass, socializing, sports, health care, renter's insurance. It obviously doesn't include trips home. We will probably not include much of a clothing budget or going out budget. We will pay for a phone but probably a basic package (like we do now). Again, I was curious about how you people handle it so I appreciate the posts!
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jul 25, 2016 8:29:47 GMT -5
I don't have kids, but I will share what my parents did for my sister and I. We were roommates in an apartment about a half mile off campus. They deposited the whole year of rent in my checking account and I paid the rent for both of us each month. They bought us each our own cafeteria plan at the student union, and put a semester worth of food money on each card.
We both worked part time, maybe 15 hours a week, and we paid for our own spending and any meals that we wanted off campus.My sister used to overspend and I would lend her money from my savings until she could pay me back, but I never lent her the rent money.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jul 25, 2016 8:43:20 GMT -5
I had scholarships that covered tuition, most of my housing, and some of my books. If I got stuck in a traditional dorm I would have been on a food plan due to lack of kitchen. I wanna say those were at least 2k a semester.
I got an on campus apt though. When my parents moved me in they took me grocery shopping to stock me up. Probably close to if not 200 since it included a lot of the basics and plenty of drinks for the drink fridge my room. Then the agreement was I lived off what I made during high school (required to save 40 percent of all my checks) with them having access to my account. If I went through my money and it wasn't on stupid shit they'd transfer some money over. I think my first semester I spent no more than 1500 on food, gas, and entertainment. I don't think I got much scholarship money refunded to me that year? I think after my first year they had to give me cash a few times but not working freshman year I didn't have as much time to rebuild my savings in the summer and my job sophomore year was 10 hours at like 6 an hour so I wasn't raking in big money.
But I was always a more cautious kid when it came to spending money.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jul 25, 2016 8:57:23 GMT -5
Our biggest concern for ODS was ensuring that he ate, and ate safely and well. He has a life-threatening, anaphylactic, food allergy and often missed dining hall meal times due to lacrosse practice and games. We gave him a good chunk of money for his debit card account at the beginning of the semester and added to it as he depleted it. We also loaded up his school i.d. account (basically a debit card that can be used on campus and at some very local stores and restaurants). We also gave him grocery store gift cards and a hefty gift card to a nicer restaurant in town that proved to be very accommodating to his food allergy. He also had an unlimited meal plan. He also had a credit card for emergencies. And, of course, we loaded up his dorm room with tons of food at the beginning of each semester and when we visited.
It sounds like a lot of money and a lot of food, and it was. But he's a kid who by nature maintains a very healthy diet and who gets "hangry" if he isn't well fueled. Being so far away, I just didn't want to get texts or calls telling me he was starving and didn't have anything safe to eat. It seemed to work for him, and we plan on doing something very similar for YDS now.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 25, 2016 9:01:57 GMT -5
This does seem a bit tricky. Luckily, my son is commuting his first 2 years so he can eat here. But, when he goes to the main campus, he may want to live in an apt versus dorm so i will have to figure that out. My concern is that my kid tends to want to eat out and that can be expensive. So, i do think planning how meals will be prepared is a great idea. I dont' want him to have too much cash or credit where he feels he can freely spend, but on the other hand, i don't want to leave him shorthanded. I mean, he very responsible to but costs can add up if you pick up some convenience foods on a regular basis.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jul 25, 2016 10:50:27 GMT -5
Alabama, DH wants to give DS3 money for the whole school year. I prefer to give it every month. I think we may compromise on every semester. Gira LOL at the beer money. I think DS3 can use his spending money for that. He will need a bus pass. He shouldn't have many clothing or medical expenses since we'll do that when he's home (regular doc / dentist appts, obviously). He'll need to pay to use the dorm laundry machines. A years worth is a lot of money at once! It may be hard for kid to understand how much that really is. With a joint checking account at same bank I used it is easy to transfer money (maybe too easy, lol!). And you can see where the money is going, to some extent. My youngest was always the sneakiest about some things. One Sunday evening I checked his account and saw a charge for $20 at a campground that was about 2 hours away from school. I asked him what he did that weekend and he replied "Nothing much", so I asked who charged money at the campground and got "Well GF and I went camping". Mom knows all! It's not like I would have told him he couldn't go.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 11:31:41 GMT -5
Lots of good ideas here, thanks! Stocking up is a good idea but about 10 of them will share a kitchen so we won't stock up on perishables because we won't yet know how they work out use of the kitchen. He is a very reasonable kid, I'm not worried about him going crazy. My concern is that my kid tends to want to eat out and that can be expensive. So, i do think planning how meals will be prepared is a great idea. I don't want him to have too much cash or credit where he feels he can freely spend, but on the other hand, i don't want to leave him shorthanded.
Shooby, same here! I want him to eat properly and have fun, but I don't want him going out for dinner / getting take-out every night. He's a good cook but I hope the other people he lives with are interested in cooking too, because it's difficult to be the only one in a house cooking if everyone else goes out / gets take out. Convenience foods are cheaper than eating out, but they're not ideal for every day either (not very healthy + expensive as you say). I'd be happy if he cooks 3-4 nights a week (hopefully with his housemates), eat convenience foods 1-2 nights a week, and goes out 1-2 nights a week. Alabama, I absolutely agree, a year's worth is way too much / too hard to plan, so I'm guessing the compromise will be giving him funds at the start of every semester. LOL at the camping story. DS3 will have to open an account in the UK, but we can always either put money on his account here or transfer it to him there. Thinking about it and reading the comments, we'll probably give him more or less what the university suggests for food. Then if he wants to spend more (on going out) he can use his spending money for that. He will also have some savings he can use until he gets a job (although I'm sure we'll give him some extra money for Freshman Week / Orientation).
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jul 25, 2016 11:34:32 GMT -5
I got most of my money per semester. How much I gave for food would depend on if he has kitchen access, storage, etc and UK prices. Without knowing all those answers I would expect to pay several thousand per semester especially if his kitchen access is limited.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 11:39:10 GMT -5
wvu, he will have a kitchen in his "house" (small dorm) with full access. I'm hoping he uses it lol.
ETA: wvu, you are absolutely right ... the website says it's about $6500 per year (for everything besides tuition and rent and trips home).
The other reason I'd rather pay monthly is that I'd like us to try to cash-flow most of that, if we can.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 25, 2016 12:05:52 GMT -5
Shooby, same here! I want him to eat properly and have fun, but I don't want him going out for dinner / getting take-out every night. He's a good cook but I hope the other people he lives with are interested in cooking too, because it's difficult to be the only one in a house cooking if everyone else goes out / gets take out. Convenience foods are cheaper than eating out, but they're not ideal for every day either (not very healthy + expensive as you say). I'd be happy if he cooks 3-4 nights a week (hopefully with his housemates), eat convenience foods 1-2 nights a week, and goes out 1-2 nights a week. In your situation, I would put limits on how much you are going to replenish. Yes, cooking for one sucks. But so does spending all your money on food. I think this where you decide on a limit, and let your son figure out how to manage it. I've started doing this already with my kids when we go out shopping/garage saling. I give them each X amount of dollars (the same). They know I will NOT buy them anything. They can choose to blow everything at the first place we go, spend slowly, or save it and put it towards something else completely. And it's worked really well. My concern in college is also setting expectations for life after college. Is it a good expectation to set to eat out twice a week when he has his first job? Will he get paid well enough to afford more on his own? Or is he going to have to make some choices about spending habits?
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 12:39:14 GMT -5
Gira, at that age, eating out often means McDonald's or a kebab ... IOW, eating something you didn't have to cook yourself, but not necessarily a sit-down restaurant. Remember I teach university and it never ceases to amaze me how many kids go to the local McD's EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for lunch.
We do NOT plan to "replenish". That is why I am thinking long and hard about this, and why I really want to come up with a fair and reasonable amount. I want to give him enough that he can do the activities he wants without having to worry about those costs (ie join the school gym, take up a sport he's been wanting to try for a while that wasn't practical to do here), but not enough to get "lazy" and get take out every night.
I just spoke to one of my best friends, who is British, and who has 2 of her 4 kids at university there. She's close enough that I could ask her how much she pays for them. It's exactly in line with what I've been thinking (DH has a significantly smaller amount in mind, alas, but he's not the most realistic person in the world when it comes to budgeting.)
ETA: She also pointed out that there would be more costs "up front" at the beginning of each school year / semester, ie books, registration fees, etc. Which of course I know.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jul 25, 2016 12:51:34 GMT -5
If paying monthly allows you to cash flow then go for it. He still has to learn to budget for a month. It's a starting point.
My per semester money was from grandpa flipping a house and depositing proceeds. At the beginning of the semester money was transferred to checking and that was it for that money.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Jul 25, 2016 12:57:39 GMT -5
We give money monthly - sometimes its once every 2 months. The money is mostly for food only - either to buy and cook or eat out.
He is on one of our credit cards and can use it to pay for gas and any misc expenses that do not crop up often like doctor's visit, money for meds etc.
He works during the summer and saves the money to use for other expenses during the year - if he wants to take a trip or go to a concert etc.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 13:00:23 GMT -5
I'm basically thinking 400 to 500 euros per month (= 335 to 420 pounds = $440 to $550). DH is thinking much less but frankly much less is not realistic.
450 euros a month = 377 pounds a month = $495 a month.
I think that sounds good!
This said, DH's inheritance is covering tuition and housing, so if DH wants DS3 to get a bit less per month (ie 400 euros), I'd agree. But I wouldn't agree to anything less than that, and we would have to give him more the first month for books/phone/registrations, so it would all even out in the end.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 13:09:35 GMT -5
Saveinla, that is a really good point! DS3 has some savings from gifts / allowance / working (he babysits and tutors English to our neighbors). He can definitely use some of those savings for "extras".
And since he will have 3 months off every summer, we definitely expect him to work for part of that time every year.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 25, 2016 14:01:09 GMT -5
Monthly is best.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 14:05:47 GMT -5
I think so too Zib. But DH has pounds, and I think he prefers to use them now, before the official Brexit.
I will argue for monthly (and cash-flowing it) but it's not a hill to die on. Also, DH has accounts in the UK, and I obviously don't. So he'll probably get the last word on this.
But although I agree monthly is best, I am willing to compromise on by semester. I'm sure DH will agree to that.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Jul 25, 2016 14:24:09 GMT -5
Does the school offer a card that can be used at restaurants on or near campus? Where DD went to college you could put money on a card that could be used in the restaurants in the student union and in some of the restaurants that were just off campus. I think I used to put $50-$75 for the year on that. She appreciated being able to get something different/treat once in a while.
Will you DS have easy access to a microwave/cooking facilities? Even though DD had a meal plan we would get the lowest amount available and then she would microwave soup/mac cheese etc. Oatmeal was another all time favorite along with the shelf stable meals. DD also learned the value of leftovers when she would eat in a restaurant.
We did things by term (they had 4 terms a year, fall, winter, spring, summer). Because the meal plan money would transfer over from term to term but had to be used up by the end of the year or you lost it this made the most sense for us. I guess there was always a crush at the end of the year with students buying up chips/granola bars etc to use up the last of their meal plan money.
I would also send her a random $25 or $50 gift card to a local store where I knew she could get toiletries etc. She could also get some groceries there but I think it usually went for shampoo and makeup.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 25, 2016 14:28:48 GMT -5
I think so too Zib. But DH has pounds, and I think he prefers to use them now, before the official Brexit. I will argue for monthly (and cash-flowing it) but it's not a hill to die on. Also, DH has accounts in the UK, and I obviously don't. So he'll probably get the last word on this. But although I agree monthly is best, I am willing to compromise on by semester. I'm sure DH will agree to that. Why? England had its own money even with the EU.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 14:29:58 GMT -5
Does the school offer a card that can be used at restaurants on or near campus?
Sharon, yes for on-campus, not sure about near campus. That's a great gift idea!
His school is on the semester system. They're planning to go to a trimester system, but I don't know when.
The toiletries may actually be cheaper there, I'm not sure. We're driving him over so weight is not an issue, but we have to consider that too, it would be crazy to have to pay for a baggage allowance (cheapie flights to and from there) because of toiletries!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 14:31:05 GMT -5
Zib I'm not sure I understand your question. DH has pounds, yes, UK currency. This said I would rather cash-flow DS3's "living expenses" and leave the pounds for further tuition / housing costs.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jul 25, 2016 14:40:38 GMT -5
If he insists on using the money now, maybe put the cash flow money you were going to use in that same account? Though that's really just moving numbers around so I dunno if that'd help.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 25, 2016 14:44:45 GMT -5
Zib I'm not sure I understand your question. DH has pounds, yes, UK currency. This said I would rather cash-flow DS3's "living expenses" and leave the pounds for further tuition / housing costs. Makes sense
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jul 25, 2016 14:48:58 GMT -5
Thanks everybody for your input, I really appreciate it!
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