Shopping for a wedding outfit

[debthaven]

My DS1 is getting married in early Sept (since this is YM I need to say that we are not paying for the wedding LOL).

I am a size 12. French women are stick insects, so it is very hard for me to find clothes here. I bit the bullet and went to the fancy department store at our local mall last week. I found a lovely green dress (halfway between emerald green and teal), 50% off. I already have dressy black shoes and a dressy black evening bag.

I was worried that the dress was not dressy enough, so I took it to the local seamstress for her opinion. She agreed it was lovely but that I should add something on the neckline, and sent me to her friend who has a shop in Versailles. I left that shop with 8 euros of rhinestones, and very precise instructions for the local seamstress, who will sew them on. (I can hand sew quite well but she will do a better job so I prefer to let her do it.)

Today I went back to the mall (I HATE clothes shopping and can't handle more than 1.5-2h there at a time. It took me 3h last week to find the dress, which is a record for me.) Today I bought a slip and the perfect shawl (60% off). Then tonight I ordered a fascinator/headpiece online (at full price, 23 euros).

Total price for EVERYTHING is 104 euros ($115), not including the seamstress hand-sewing on the rhinestones. I'm guessing that will be another $20.

I'm so happy! I wasn't looking for a bargain for this important occasion, but it's the sales, so I was certainly happy to find them! The sales aren't usually great here, but the weather was awful till a couple of weeks ago. It's the first time I've ever seen 50/60/70% off here (but then again I'm not from the shoppers). And I LOVE my outfit, and so does DH and DS1.

Any great buys? GRG I remember you posting dresses for a wedding ... what did you end up with?

[debthaven]

This is the dress I bought. It is less turquoise and more emerald / teal in real life.

www.comptoirdescotonniers.com/robe-manches-3%2F4-vert-ARGENTINE_3196.html

The shawl is a leaf pattern in the same green and black (to match my shoes and bag) but I can't find a picture of it online.


Can you tell I'm getting very excited?!

ETA: I'm short (5'2") so the dress is just below the knee on me.

[lund]

I think that you have done very well, both from a financial point of view and from an aesthetic point of view!
I really like the fascinator. I think that it would also work in black from a "dress point of view", but that the color of your hair may play a huge role in how well it would fit.

Any jewellery to go with it, such as a bracelet or ring?

Is it a civil marriage only or is there an attached religious ceremony that requires more covering up of the head?
If the latter, I would recommend practicing putting on the fascinator at home a few times, and think of where to keep it during the religious part.
(A friend went to a very Catholic marriage where the ladies were expected to wear hats or some kind of veils, which was not very compatible with some nicer hair-dos...)

[debthaven]

Lund, I have dark brown hair. That and the fact that DS1's fiancée totally freaked out when I asked her if I could wear a black dress made me decide I absolutely needed a new (not black) dress, and then once I had found it, a green fascinator rather than a black one. I looked for a fascinator at the mall today, there were plenty of black ones, but I didn't want to risk upsetting my future DIL. She is British (like my DH) and apparently the Brits do NOT wear black to weddings. She is a humanitarian aid worker like my DS1, so although her reaction sort of surprised me, we get along very well and I would never want to do anything that could upset her. Even I have to admit, the black fascinators sort of scream out "mourning".

I am from NY and it is VERY typical to wear black to NY weddings from a style point of view, but of course I immediately went out to find another dress once she said that.

There is no religious ceremony, because we are Jewish and DH's fiancée/family is not. So civil marriage + party.

ETA: I have jewelry but I haven't decided on that yet. Hmm, good question! Definitely something simple / understated on the neckline. I'm guessing my late ex MIL's gold and diamond hoop earrings. I never change my rings, I wear my engagement ring and wedding band on my left hand, and my late mother's antique diamond ring (which she gave me for my 16th birthday) on my right hand.

Maybe my Svarovski tennis bracelet to bling things up.  (I am not from the shoppers but I definitely have a soft spot for shiny things LOL)

[Cookies Galore]

I would skip the rhonestones, belt the dress, and wear dangling gold earrings and a long necklace. The fascinator is cool. Beautiful color on the dress!

[debthaven]

Cookies, I'm too heavy these days to belt the dress LOL.

But DH is now saying, skip the rhinestones and wear your pearls instead. What would you think about that?

I honestly prefer the rhinestones, because that dress could be worn anywhere, and dressed either up or down. I prefer to dress it up ... with the rhinestones.

[Miss Tequila]

Come back to America...size 12 is slim here!lol

[debthaven]

Yeah I want to Tequila LOL! For a while there I thought I'd have to pay for a Eurostar ticket to find a dress in the UK LOL.

ETA: They have TK Maxx in the UK. TK, not TJ, LOL.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I love the color. And the fascinator is fascinating. Nice job!

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 19, 2016 18:25:53 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Yeah I want to Tequila LOL! For a while there I thought I'd have to pay for a Eurostar ticket to find a dress in the UK LOL.

ETA: They have TK Maxx in the UK. TK, not TJ, LOL.

Lol!

[debthaven]

I found the shawl. Believe it or not, in real life, the dress and shawl are the same shade of green (even though the shawl claims to be blue). Hopefully the fascinator will be the same shade too. If not I can return it.

www.galerieslafayette.com/p/etole+imprime+floral-galeries+lafayette/31123013/101

[quince]

Are you going to add rhinestones to the fascinator to match?

[debthaven]

No Quince, I think the fascinator is busy enough on its own LOL. There was a fascinator with just 3 rhinestones I really liked, but it wasn't the right shade of green.

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 19, 2016 18:32:13 GMT -5 debthaven said:

I found the shawl. Believe it or not, in real life, the dress and shawl are the same shade of green (even though the shawl claims to be blue). Hopefully the fascinator will be the same shade too. If not I can return it.

www.galerieslafayette.com/p/etole+imprime+floral-galeries+lafayette/31123013/101

Nice!

[zibazinski]

Jul 19, 2016 18:25:53 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Yeah I want to Tequila LOL! For a while there I thought I'd have to pay for a Eurostar ticket to find a dress in the UK LOL.

ETA: They have TK Maxx in the UK. TK, not TJ, LOL.

I took a picture of that when I went to the Isle of Man!

[debthaven]

It's so funny Zib! Cracks me up every time! We go there whenever we go to Brighton to see DH's cousins. We don't always find clothes/shoes but we stock up on scented candles and chocolate covered berries.

[sesfw]

Everything looks great ...... and you'll have a wonderful time watching your DS start his new life with a bride.

Congrats

[plugginaway22]

Yes, love your choices!  I am also size 12 and will be shopping for my dress for DD2s wedding. Won't need a fascinator, but wish I had a reason to wear one!  Had great success at Nordstrom's in Baltimore with DD1s wedding, and yes, I wore a dress with black lace over skin toned lining.  Black is usually ok here for weddings. It is always a relief for me to 'find' the dress for a special occasion.  Do you have a clutch or dressy evening bag?

[CCL]

I've never even heard of a fascinator. Is it something you attach to your hat like a bow?

I like the dress!

[zibazinski]

Jul 19, 2016 21:30:32 GMT -5 CCL said:

I've never even heard of a fascinator. Is it something you attach to your hat like a bow?

I like the dress!

Fancy hats

[CCL]

Now that I think of it, I've never even seen anyone wear a hat to a wedding. I didn't realize I was so backward until now.

[spartan7886]

Jul 19, 2016 17:32:04 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Lund, I have dark brown hair. That and the fact that DH's fiancée totally freaked out when I asked her if I could wear a black dress made me decide I absolutely needed a new (not black) dress, and then once I had found it, a green fascinator rather than a black one. I looked for a fascinator at the mall today, there were plenty of black ones, but I didn't want to risk upsetting my future DIL. She is British (like my DH) and apparently the Brits do NOT wear black to weddings. She is a humanitarian aid worker like my DS1, so although her reaction sort of surprised me, we get along very well and I would never want to do anything that could upset her. Even I have to admit, the black fascinators sort of scream out "mourning".

I am from NY and it is VERY typical to wear black to NY weddings from a style point of view, but of course I immediately went out to find another dress once she said that.

There is no religious ceremony, because we are Jewish and DH's fiancée/family is not. So civil marriage + party.

ETA: I have jewelry but I haven't decided on that yet. Hmm, good question! Definitely something simple / understated on the neckline. I'm guessing my late ex MIL's gold and diamond hoop earrings. I never change my rings, I wear my engagement ring and wedding band on my left hand, and my late mother's antique diamond ring (which she gave me for my 16th birthday) on my right hand.

Maybe my Svarovski tennis bracelet to bling things up.  (I am not from the shoppers but I definitely have a soft spot for shiny things LOL)

Very open-minded of you to allow DH a fiancée!

[Sharon]

I love your choices.  When DD got married the Mother of the Bride dress I liked the best was black but DD vetoed it and I ended up with tannish/gold dress.  I returned the black dress but wish I would have kept it for other occasions.

[lund]

Black for weddings is usually a no-no up here too since at least WW2.
At the turn of the 19/20 century, it was still common even for the bride to wear black among the rural and less well-to-do, if possible with a white veil if the bride could be assumed to be virgin. The black dress was the "church dress", which many got for their confirmation.

Ladies' hats occur, but are not common. Fascinators are more popular. The style is expected to be "merry and fun", so I would not associate a black fascinator with mourning, especially not if worn with a colored dress.

(A fascinator is something between a hat, think the cocktail hats of the sixties, and a hair decoration. They have been in fashion for a year or five now for "upscale events", like weddings.)

The white wedding dress came from the British queen Victoria, who married in a white dress sometime around 1840. It spread here too. Before that, the upper-class or "city" brides wore a new set of festive clothes in color (if she could afford it), and the rural women wore the bridal version of the local traditional dress.

DH, Try that bracelet on with the other parts of the intended dress ensemble ("dress rehearsal"). It sounds as though the bracelet either is hit or miss. The earrings sound like they would go very well with the dress. I think that you will look great!

(And the YM part of me thinks that you should put a copy of the guest list (from your memory or if the bridal couple would do you the favor to give you one) with the fascinator or dress - if there is no or little overlap between guests, they could be worn for other occasions...)

[debthaven]

Haha, I'll edit that Spartan!

Lund gave a great description of a fascinator. It's worn instead of a hat, it's less cumbersome (generally) and more of a hair decoration.

Pluggin where I grew up we had Loehmann's (sp?) :-)

[weltschmerz]

Jul 19, 2016 21:30:32 GMT -5 CCL said:

I've never even heard of a fascinator. Is it something you attach to your hat like a bow?

I like the dress!

I think Kate Middleton brought them into vogue.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2016 2:13:17 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Jul 19, 2016 21:30:32 GMT -5 CCL said:

I've never even heard of a fascinator. Is it something you attach to your hat like a bow?

I like the dress!

I think Kate Middleton brought them into vogue.

They were a veddy big deal at her wedding. Especially one that one of Fergie's daughters was wearing. It was UGLY! On my phone so can't find one but I'm sure you can Google it.

[spartan7886]

Jul 20, 2016 1:17:28 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Haha, I'll edit that Spartan!

Lund gave a great description of a fascinator. It's worn instead of a hat, it's less cumbersome (generally) and more of a hair decoration.

Pluggin where I grew up we had Loehmann's (sp?) :-)

Halfway there

I do adore the fascinator, both the concept (so very posh!) and the specific one.

[gs11rmb]

I can't see the link to the fascinator?

Although you'll occasionally see someone wearing a black dress at a UK wedding, it's definitely a big no-no for the mother of the bride or groom. About 20-25 years ago my parents attended a 'mixed' marriage where the groom was protestant and the bride catholic. The ceremony was held in the catholic church and the groom's mother signaled her deep disapproval by wearing black to the wedding!

My mum said the woman sat "with her face like fizz" throughout the whole of the reception .

[alabamagal]

debt - I think your plan sounds great!  The color looks wonderful.  The only thing I didn't see you mention if there were going to be bridesmaids, and if so what color they will be wearing.  The mother of bride/groom dresses are supposed to be a different, but complimentary color, you don't want to be mistaken for bridesmaid, or to completely conflict with them.  I have heard some people say that mother of bride and groom should discuss their wardrobe so one doesn't outdo the other.  That sounds like potential for high drama, so you can decide.

I am a person who hates shopping for clothes, especially fancy clothes.  And I have 2 kids getting married next year.  I DREAD the dress shopping!  I am 5'10 and a little bigger than a size 12.  And I guess I will have to get nice shoes for my size 11 feet  .

First wedding will be in June and will be a nice fancy wedding (my son).  My FDIL has been planning for 2 years.  She is super nice, I am excited for the wedding, but she has a high potential for drama on her side of the family (lots of divorces and people not speaking to each other, she was raised by her dad and has a strained relationship with her mom).

Second wedding is scheduled for next August (my daughter).  I am a little concerned about her and fiance's plans - he is supposed to be starting Army basic training soon, and just a little concerned about their relationship.  Wedding currently small, planned for my parents back yard - lake house in FL.  I suppose this will need a different dress and shoes

And since this is YM, I am not paying for either .  Also told my other son (now 21) that there is no way he can get married next year!  Since there is no apparent GF, I don't think that is a problem.