I need help with wedding guest attire

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I have to go to a wedding in July that is scheduled for 4:00 at the beach (but not on the beach).  The reception will be outside under a tent.

The "rules" say that wedding guests should never wear white (no one should upstage the bride).

Does this dress fall in to the "no white" rule or is there enough blue such that it is not a "white" dress?

[janee]

It's a lovely dress, but I do think it's too much white for a wedding.  Sorry, I wouldn't wear it.

Buy it anyway for another occasion!

[justme]

I'd probably say too much white.

Eta Personally I wouldn't care if I was the bride, but I realize that I am way laid back. So I could see a lot if brides getting upset. Like my cousin's wife who wore white to the rehersal dinner, obviously the wedding, and brunch the next day. She was definitely taking the white concept to heart.

[hoops902]

There's nothing wrong with wearing white. Nobody is going to mistake you for the bride in that dress.

Keep in mind I'm a guy, so all the "rules" seem pretty ridiculous to me in general.  It probably depends how pretentious the bride and others are.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Unless you are wearing an actual wedding dress you aren't going to upstage the bride by wearing white.   That dress is perfectly acceptable for a beach wedding.

[resolution]

I think too much white. Are there other colors available?

[Peace77]

I think that dress is fine.  But, don't wear heels like that around sand.

[Lizard Queen]

I vote too much white.

[Anne_in_VA]

I vote too much white and I wouldn't wear it.  

[Tennesseer]

Blue belt-blue shoes?

[ArchietheDragon]

The dress looks blue and black to me, not white. 

[HoneyBBQ]

I wouldn't do it. There are lots and lots of options for a beach wedding, so I wouldn't do that particular dress. If the colors were reversed, it'd be fine.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

K, it seems the nays are ahead, which, to be honest, I agree with which is why I asked in the first place -- I wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking too old-school.  People dress down now for everything so it was possible that the "white" rule no longer applied.  But, it seems it still does and this is NOT the wedding to test it.  

This will be the 3rd out-of-state-wedding in 8 months, so I was trying to find something that would multi-task because the costs are starting to really add up and because I also need something to wear to YDS' high school graduation next month.

Back to shopping...ugh...

[Pants]

May 9, 2016 11:26:16 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

K, it seems the nays are ahead, which, to be honest, I agree with which is why I asked in the first place -- I wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking too old-school.  People dress down now for everything so it was possible that the "white" rule no longer applied.  But, it seems it still does and this is NOT the wedding to test it.  

This will be the 3rd out-of-state-wedding in 8 months, so I was trying to find something that would multi-task because the costs are starting to really add up and because I also need something to wear to YDS' high school graduation next month.

Back to shopping...ugh...

There's no reason you can't wear the same dress to a wedding and your YDS graduation. Just not THAT dress. 

[973beachbum]

My issue wouldn't be that it has white, it just looks a little too buttoned up to be a wear to a beach wedding dress to me.

I live about a half a mile from the beach.  And people are much more casual here.  Maybe it is our own little community but that dress looks more like what someone would wear to work at a bank in the summer than to a wedding or party to me.  A formal dress here would be more light and flowy and relaxed.  

Maybe milee can come up with another opinion of appropriate beach attire.  Or tell you I am wrong.  I has been known to happen.

PS I say this because I have seen lawyers and cpa's and engineers hold high money meeting in cut off shorts and flip flops many many times.  And after watching some of them come dripping in in their wet suits and start to take the wet suit off to change, I actually became happy that they had actual non dripping clothes on.

[Anne_in_VA]

Ann Taylor has a pleated belted midi dress in a pinkish blush color that I would think would work for the wedding.  I can't seem to paste the link, so I can't put it here, but I was thinking something similar would be appropriate if you like that style.  If you don't like that particular dress them maybe you could find something similar in another color.  You could wear that dress for all the weddings too.

[973beachbum]

This is more like what you would find here at formal events.  It is still maybe a little formal but wouldn't be so formal as to look out of place.

 www.anntaylor.com/floral-chiffon-midi-dress/403045?skuId=20902957&defaultColor=9192&colorExplode=false&catid=cata000012

[milee]

May 10, 2016 7:18:00 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

My issue wouldn't be that it has white, it just looks a little too buttoned up to be a wear to a beach wedding dress to me.

I live about a half a mile from the beach.  And people are much more casual here.  Maybe it is our own little community but that dress looks more like what someone would wear to work at a bank in the summer than to a wedding or party to me.  A formal dress here would be more light and flowy and relaxed.  

Maybe milee can come up with another opinion of appropriate beach attire.  Or tell you I am wrong.  I has been known to happen.

PS I say this because I have seen lawyers and cpa's and engineers hold high money meeting in cut off shorts and flip flops many many times.  And after watching some of them come dripping in in their wet suits and start to take the wet suit off to change, I actually became happy that they had actual non dripping clothes on.

973beachbum, the beach attire you see (casual and flowy, more like Hawaii) sounds similar to what we see here. The dress in the OP would be a little off for this area and also I'd be worried it would wrinkle badly in the humidity, which would ruin the nice clean lines.   But OP didn't mention where the beach wedding is and I know that some beachy areas are more dressy.  The traditional Southern areas - such as Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi - aren't really casual/flowy/Hawaiian, even on the beach.  The dress pictured in the OP would be a style that would fit right in at many of the Southern beach areas, especially the yacht clubs.

[swamp]

That style dress is common in the northeast. The flowing/casual/Hawaiian thing isn't.

[tloonya]

If you have to ask...don't wear it. Options are endless. Have fun!

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

May 10, 2016 10:13:00 GMT -5 swamp said:

That style dress is common in the northeast. The flowing/casual/Hawaiian thing isn't.

Yup, this is a Lilly Pullitzer/J.Crew/Brooks Brothers crowd -- wrinkled linen sheaths tend to be the norm in the summer.

So, to me, the white color of the dress was more the issue than the style and fabric.  

I was trying to match with DH and the kids -- they are wearing one of the two the standard men's summer wedding outfits around here:  navy blazers, light blue oxford dress shirts, white linen pants (or Bermuda shorts), bow ties, navy blue bucks, and straw boaters.  (The other standard men's summer wedding outfit being seersucker suits.)   

I am short and reasonably well-endowed in the bust area but with no hips/thighs (basically a short stick with breasts, LOL), so sheaths usually look best on me.  I also prefer short sleeves (at least) because I keep my dermatologist well-stocked in large boats thanks to skin cancer.  Given my fair complexion, I look FABULOUS in navy blue and royal blue.

I could do a Lilly sheath, but would probably be one of several wearing it (there are only so many patterns).

 

[milee]

Lilly would be a perfect choice.  But a Lilly pattern, not solid white. The patterns hide wrinkles.

BTW, Ebay is a great source for Lilly sheaths and if you get one there you will have a pattern that nobody else has. I have several great Lilly sheaths from Ebay that I got in the $20 range. (Not all are that inexpensive, you have to keep your eye out.)  The fact that Lilly sizing has been consistent for the past 20+ years helps, too, so if you know your size you can order without worrying it will fit.

Have you looked at Tommy Bahama? Last fall, they had some gorgeous upscale casual dresses in dark blue colors. Not sure what they have now. They are starting to do "vanity" sizing though, so if you're a 6 in Lilly, you're an XS in Tommy Bahama.

Edited to add: just looked and didn't see anything that jumped out at the Tommy Bahama site, so scratch that suggestion./

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Still too white?

[Pants]

May 10, 2016 11:04:33 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Still too white?

Why are you only picking white dresses? 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

May 10, 2016 11:15:17 GMT -5 Pants said:

May 10, 2016 11:04:33 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Still too white?

Why are you only picking white dresses? 

It's a July wedding at the beach.  Trying to find lighter, cooler colors.  I'm Irish.  We DON"T do heat.     I thought that one looked "nautical" which would fit the theme and would coordinate with my menfolk.

But, I'll take that as a "yes".  

[wyouser]

Beach? Wedding? Attire? How much white? Have everyone wear "a tire"........don't want white? don a radial with blackwalls. More white?  Something with wide whitewalls from the 1950's may suffice. Or, if a little less white is desired choose the thinner stripped whitewalls from the 1990's. No one should upstage the bride with this apparel......(I suppose Wyouser is about to be sent out (banned)to the rock in the backyard for this?)

[imawino]

May 10, 2016 11:04:33 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Still too white?

I don't think so - it doesn't have vast expanses of white like the other one.  It wouldn't necessarily be my first choice, but it sounds like it would work really well for you given what you said about normal summer/beach wedding attire local to you for men and women. 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Already wearing this to a wedding in June (same people).  Honestly, I don't love it on me because the skirt is full and sort of cuts me off, but it was the best I could find...




What about in navy...although, not really my style...




Too many functions...

[imawino]

I like the top one.  To me the sleeveless is more beach weddingy, but that's because I'm from the south and weddings on the beach are hot!  Although if you feel it doesn't suit you, I would ditch it and get something that does.

Not a fan of the second one, but that's just me. I don't love lace or uneven hemlines.  And I find the sleeve length odd looking. I know that they would drive me nuts.

I like the striped one more looking at it, and since you said a sheath suits you, go for it.  I am biased against them as I have too much hip for them to look good usually.

[swamp]

If a sheath fits your body type, go for it. I would not be caught dead in a horizontal striped sheath because I'm all about the bass.

   I'd pick dress number 2 for me. Can I borrow it?