formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
Posts: 7,381
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Post by formerroomate99 on Mar 19, 2016 21:53:51 GMT -5
My whole life I was seeing families getting together to plan weddings and going nuts overboard with it. Then I came in USA at age of 26 and saw all these movies where it was exactly like back in Ukraine. All the stress and lots of work from both families. And I had worked for 4 years as a nail tech with all the American women who were coming to me and a whole hour while working on their nails I was listening tot their stories how expensive weddings are and how they are taking second mortgages to pay for kids weddings...and NOW HERE you telling me it is all a bullshit! How come What percentage of the female population gets their nails done regularly? Seriously, I don't have a clue. None of the women in my family bother with that, except possibly a couple of trophy wife cousins, and I'm not even sure about that.
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whoami
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 12:43:49 GMT -5
Posts: 1,292
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Post by whoami on Mar 19, 2016 22:04:48 GMT -5
I get my nails done and Ive never heard anyone talk about wedding plans or costs or how much they paid for college, vacations, cars or anything else for that matter. My hair salon is also pricey and Ive never heard anyone talking about how much they spend on anything there either. My guess is people who can actually afford these expensive weddings dont feel the need to broadcast it to the world and those who dont are blabbing because they think people are going to be impressed by the cost. More exaggerations but consider the source.
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gracendignity
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 30, 2015 21:05:15 GMT -5
Posts: 161
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Post by gracendignity on Mar 20, 2016 6:17:54 GMT -5
In 1976 I paid for my own wedding. DH saved his pennies for the honeymoon. My parents bought my wedding dress. It was originally $270, but since it was last year's model (but absolutely perfect and the only dress I tried on) it was marked down to $90. I spent about $500. It was the usual cake/punch/mints in the church hall reception.
Fast forward 25 years and DD#1 got married. We paid for it because we could and we wanted to and the happy couple's tastes were modest. The groom's parents offered to split the costs, which we declined, but they did pay for quite a bit, too. DD and I started budgeting by talking about what they wanted. Their focus was on lots of friends and family coming to celebrate their happiness, and also, nonfancy. I spent about $2000. The groom's parents probably spent $1000. We parents also paid for the attendant's dresses and tux rentals, too. DD, who had always heard about my own wedding dress story, took that same attitude. Walked into the bridal store, found a gorgeous dress that was last year's model and including alterations it was $250. That was 15 years ago and we still look back at that time and smile. It was a great wedding.
Three years later DD#2 got married. She never ever wanted a formal wedding and she eloped. No one there at the court house but the bride and groom. We bought her furniture for their house instead. Spent about the same amount as we had for her sister's wedding. That was 12 years ago. It was the culmination of a very stressful period in our lives. I don't smile so much over that wedding. It lasted 3 years, spending that money on furniture was a far better return on our investment. lol!
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lynnerself
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 11:42:29 GMT -5
Posts: 4,166
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Post by lynnerself on Mar 20, 2016 12:31:16 GMT -5
Finally! Are we the only morons here to do that? Or are you a foreigner as I am?
You missed the part where she said they were financially able to. Ask what their retirement is looking like and if they're planning on taking a second mortgage on the house to fund this wedding. Yes. We are currently recently retired and our situation is good. The relatives that paid for weddings are even better off than we are. Ironically, however, we may put some of the wedding costs on the HELOC. Not because we need to borrow the money, but for cash flow and tax reasons. (Not taking everything out of the IRA in one year).
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Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 20, 2016 12:49:25 GMT -5
My parents paid maybe around $8000 for my wedding, DH's DF and SM paid $1000. We paid the rest, which wasn't a whole lot more, but enough. DH's dad could have afforded to give more, but his SM tended to give more to her own children and grandchildren.
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 5,638
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Post by lurkyloo on Mar 20, 2016 15:09:03 GMT -5
We covered the entire cost for our wedding, except MIL informed us that they were providing the wine for the wedding dinner as our wedding gift, which was fine-we don't drink much wine and the champagne toast was extremely important to her. It ran around 12K, rings and honeymoon included. Not incidentally, we called all the shots and arranged everything the way we wanted it (except my mother's completely awful behavior). It was a pretty awesome wedding, if I do say so myself
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mollyanna58
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 13:20:45 GMT -5
Posts: 6,676
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Post by mollyanna58 on Mar 20, 2016 17:07:40 GMT -5
My niece is getting married soon; first of that generation to get married. My brother and his ex will be paying for most of the wedding. Niece wanted to elope, but gave in to her mother to have a bigger ceremony and reception. They are getting married on a Friday because it's less expensive than on Saturday.
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hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
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Post by hoops902 on Mar 22, 2016 16:20:02 GMT -5
My wife's parents paid for the majority of our wedding. Primarily because they really wanted us to have one. I was all ready to head to the courthouse or Vegas. It was pretty inexpensive as weddings go (under $5k).
We paid for her dress, my suit, little stuff here and there. They basically paid for the reception (which was the majority of the overall cost).
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muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
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Post by muttleynfelix on Mar 22, 2016 16:45:19 GMT -5
My parents paid for most of my wedding. DH and I paid for half my dress (which made my mom mad BTW), the rehearsal dinner, gifts for the attendants, and our honeymoon. My parents paid for everything else (including DHs tux). It was somewhere between $5-$10k, but I don't know. Photographer was by far the most expensive part -$2k. We were 23 and 40. This was over 10 years ago.
My parents paid for my sister's wedding. Every last bit of it. It was even less expensive than mine because it was 10 years earlier. They were 21 and 22.
My parents paid for the food at my brother's reception and the rehearsal dinner. My brother and his wife were for to make the food for the reception themselves to cut corners because my SIL's family was not paying for it and my parents stepped in and said no,we'll pay for it. It is your special day. I don't know how much they actually paid. The bride and groom were 20 and 21.
My parent's parents paid for their wedding as well (45+ years ago). Of course they were 21 and 23.
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sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
Posts: 6,268
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Post by sesfw on Mar 22, 2016 19:59:48 GMT -5
When DH#1 and I married in 1961 my parents told me they were not going to pay for anything. I made my dress and Bill's shirt. We were square dancers so the white and satin made nice outfits. Bill's parents invited everyone to their home for a small reception. Marriage lasted 37 years until his death.
Older brother's wedding they paid for the honeymoon. Younger brother they paid for everything.
DH#2 and I were older (2001) and we paid for everything.
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tractor
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 15:19:30 GMT -5
Posts: 3,458
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Post by tractor on Mar 23, 2016 13:52:25 GMT -5
Our wedding cost @ $180, total. That was the actual cash output my wife and I paid $60 for the keg, $30 for the Jack Daniels, and $60 for the tux rentals (2). The other $30 was split between my wife's dress (cost $5 to have her mothers dress altered so she could wear it) and party supplies. There were other "costs" my SIL made the cake and my MIL made venison BBQ so that was their contribution. No this wasn't back in 1924, we just didn't want much and my wife's country upbringing kept everything simple.
Will we pay for our kids wedding? Maybe, but I'd rather they spend to money on a house or something practical.
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