Another "talk me out of this" thread

[MJ2.0]

So I'm fresh off my BFF's baby shower. There were about 3-4 other expectant mothers there, and one of the women brought her gorgeous little girl. So there's lots of conversation about pregnancy, babies, etc.... plus my friend got all sorts of great baby stuff and she & her DH were beaming from ear to ear. They are wonderful people and will make amazing parents.

So... now I'm thinking about babies. How if I had to do it again I'd know what to expect this time. How DS would love to have a sibling. How much I would love to see DS be a big brother.

Please remind me of how I have no romantic prospects, how I can't afford another kid, how I like sleep too much, how I want to go to school and that would mess that up, and basically how it would be an AWFUL idea.

[swamp]

Aww, I think you should have another baby.    You have a bunch of package pics to pick from!

[mollyanna58]

It's not an awful idea.  It's just not going to work at this point in your life.

[swamp]

Oh, and the sibling thing is overrated. I will send you mine and you can listen to them fight. that will cure you of baby fever immediately.

[andreawick]

Babies are wonderful - you're such a great mom already.

Go ahead - you'll be happier with a new baby!!

DS will be a great big brother!

[MJ2.0]

Jul 14, 2015 14:23:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

Aww, I think you should have another baby.    You have a bunch of package pics to pick from!

And I don't want any of their owners' genetic material.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Think of the daycare costs.  I avoid calculating out how much we are paying per year right now for two kids since it makes me cry.  DH made the mistake of doing the math and nearly had a stroke.

[steph08]

I get the same way sometimes. I feel like I know so much now that I need another kid to practice all my newfound skills!

And then I remember all the crappy stuff and how much money I pay for daycare and I think "how the hell would I handle a baby and a toddler!?" and that cures me of the desire to have another child.

[ArchietheDragon]

I will let you use my DNA so you know the kid will be cute. I insist on delivering it the old fashioned way, though

[swamp]

Jul 14, 2015 14:34:27 GMT -5 steph08 said:

I get the same way sometimes. I feel like I know so much now that I need another kid to practice all my newfound skills!

And then I remember all the crappy stuff and how much money I pay for daycare and I think "how the hell would I handle a baby and a toddler!?" and that cures me of the desire to have another child.

You just do it.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jul 14, 2015 14:22:10 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

So I'm fresh off my BFF's baby shower. There were about 3-4 other expectant mothers there, and one of the women brought her gorgeous little girl. So there's lots of conversation about pregnancy, babies, etc.... plus my friend got all sorts of great baby stuff and she & her DH were beaming from ear to ear. They are wonderful people and will make amazing parents.

So... now I'm thinking about babies. How if I had to do it again I'd know what to expect this time. How DS would love to have a sibling. How much I would love to see DS be a big brother.

Please remind me of how I have no romantic prospects, how I can't afford another kid, how I like sleep too much, how I want to go to school and that would mess that up, and basically how it would be an AWFUL idea.

This is proof that some people be crazy and need a smackdown.


Hell freaking no, you do not want another baby. Or another baby daddy, for that matter. Remember, they are a package deal, unless you go to a clinic and play Spin The Sperm, just picking a candidate that might be good.

[lexxy703]

Jul 14, 2015 14:36:51 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

Take care of someone else's infant or to toddler for the day. It usually kills my baby urges.

I vote this but keep it over night so it wakes you up.  Or start with a puppy.

[shanendoah]

Foster? Adopt?
Don't be selfish enough to have another of your own when thousands of kids are in foster care, just waiting for parents to love them.


Seriously though, one option might be to become a respite foster parent - you take kids for a weekend to give other foster parents a break, or if they have to go out of town unexpectedly.
You could also see if there's an emergency foster care shelter to volunteer at (our agency has one). Lots more babies end up there than actually in foster care, or available for adoption.


Or know that it's not the right time right now.
Or write an article about how you sacrificed a second child in order to have a divorce. That might play better than the lady who wrote her article about sacrificing having a third kid in order to have a dream house. (Because choices are no longer choices, they are sacrifices.)

[wvugurl26]

Jul 14, 2015 14:36:28 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I will let you use my DNA so you know the kid will be cute. I insist on delivering it the old fashioned way, though

You do make cute babies.

[vonna]

Jul 14, 2015 14:36:28 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I will let you use my DNA so you know the kid will be cute. I insist on delivering it the old fashioned way, though

So, by "delivering the old fashioned way" -- do you mean delivering, or conceiving?

[Deleted]

Jul 14, 2015 14:37:49 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:22:10 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

So I'm fresh off my BFF's baby shower. There were about 3-4 other expectant mothers there, and one of the women brought her gorgeous little girl. So there's lots of conversation about pregnancy, babies, etc.... plus my friend got all sorts of great baby stuff and she & her DH were beaming from ear to ear. They are wonderful people and will make amazing parents.

So... now I'm thinking about babies. How if I had to do it again I'd know what to expect this time. How DS would love to have a sibling. How much I would love to see DS be a big brother.

Please remind me of how I have no romantic prospects, how I can't afford another kid, how I like sleep too much, how I want to go to school and that would mess that up, and basically how it would be an AWFUL idea.

This is proof that some people be crazy and need a smackdown.


Hell freaking no, you do not want another baby. Or another baby daddy, for that matter. Remember, they are a package deal, unless you go to a clinic and play Spin The Sperm, just picking a candidate that might be good.

I think dealing with the Dad is harder than the extra kid. 

I had another at 41 and there are 8 years between them.  The daycare, the staying up late, the chasing a toddler and dealing with sibling fights...if you want another child you'll figure it out.  But, be really careful about who you choose for the Dad!

[ArchietheDragon]

Jul 14, 2015 14:51:16 GMT -5 vonna said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:36:28 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I will let you use my DNA so you know the kid will be cute. I insist on delivering it the old fashioned way, though

So, by "delivering the old fashioned way" -- do you mean delivering, or conceiving?

delivering the DNA.   Could not care less how the kid is removed. 

[vonna]

Jul 14, 2015 14:55:19 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:51:16 GMT -5 vonna said:

So, by "delivering the old fashioned way" -- do you mean delivering, or conceiving?

delivering the DNA.   Could not care less how the kid is removed. 

LOL!  How very generous of you!!

[MJ2.0]

Jul 14, 2015 14:55:19 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:51:16 GMT -5 vonna said:

So, by "delivering the old fashioned way" -- do you mean delivering, or conceiving?

delivering the DNA.   Could not care less how the kid is removed. 

Literally LOL!

[MJ2.0]

Jul 14, 2015 14:54:27 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:37:49 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

This is proof that some people be crazy and need a smackdown.


Hell freaking no, you do not want another baby. Or another baby daddy, for that matter. Remember, they are a package deal, unless you go to a clinic and play Spin The Sperm, just picking a candidate that might be good.

I think dealing with the Dad is harder than the extra kid. 

I had another at 41 and there are 8 years between them.  The daycare, the staying up late, the chasing a toddler and dealing with sibling fights...if you want another child you'll figure it out.  But, be really careful about who you choose for the Dad!

I crazily thought I'd ask X since he wants another kid anyway but I'm afraid he'd take it as some indication that we should try and get back together. No sir!

[lexxy703]

Jul 14, 2015 15:05:47 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:54:27 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I think dealing with the Dad is harder than the extra kid. 

I had another at 41 and there are 8 years between them.  The daycare, the staying up late, the chasing a toddler and dealing with sibling fights...if you want another child you'll figure it out.  But, be really careful about who you choose for the Dad!

I crazily thought I'd ask X since he wants another kid anyway but I'm afraid he'd take it as some indication that we should try and get back together. No sir!

  Crazily being the operative word! 

[Peace77]

NO!  Now is NOT a good time.

Don't muddy the waters with your ex.

[vonna]

Jul 14, 2015 15:05:47 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Jul 14, 2015 14:54:27 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I think dealing with the Dad is harder than the extra kid. 

I had another at 41 and there are 8 years between them.  The daycare, the staying up late, the chasing a toddler and dealing with sibling fights...if you want another child you'll figure it out.  But, be really careful about who you choose for the Dad!

I crazily thought I'd ask X since he wants another kid anyway but I'm afraid he'd take it as some indication that we should try and get back together. No sir!

Okay, I can totally NOT relate to this.  I couldn't fathom doing what would be necessary to conceive with my ex, and even though the DS we created together is nothing short of amazing, I simply could have never procreated with my ex after he became my ex.

[Lizard Queen]

I can't talk you out of it.  I'm all for smart people having more kids.

[MJ2.0]

Jul 14, 2015 15:19:15 GMT -5 vonna said:

Jul 14, 2015 15:05:47 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I crazily thought I'd ask X since he wants another kid anyway but I'm afraid he'd take it as some indication that we should try and get back together. No sir!

Okay, I can totally NOT relate to this.  I couldn't fathom doing what would be necessary to conceive with my ex, and even though the DS we created together is nothing short of amazing, I simply could have never procreated with my ex after he became my ex.

I'd go the turkey baster route - no way I'm having sex with him.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I crazily thought I'd ask X since he wants another kid anyway but I'm afraid he'd take it as some indication that we should try and get back together

Well duh.   You're crazy if you'd think he'd agree to be your sperm donor and then continue on as is.  I could see a whole lot of ugly stemming from this plan.

[mroped]

Why stop at just having only one more? Have two of them while you are at it so you don't have to go back.

But I must say that I see merit in the argument of "two parents" for a child as in a couple be it a traditional one or otherwise: once in a while, you need a break!
I love children, I'm like the baby whisperer of sorts but man! After the second one I was definetly sure that we are done. And to be honest I didn't do a quarter of what my wife did in taking care of them.

I guess you would have to resume your search of Mr Perfect than! 

[Cookies Galore]

Don't be fucking stupid!

[vonna]

Jul 14, 2015 15:22:22 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Jul 14, 2015 15:19:15 GMT -5 vonna said:

Okay, I can totally NOT relate to this.  I couldn't fathom doing what would be necessary to conceive with my ex, and even though the DS we created together is nothing short of amazing, I simply could have never procreated with my ex after he became my ex.

I'd go the turkey baster route - no way I'm having sex with him.

LOL!

Still -- I wouldn't want to add to divorce drama.  You are probably younger than I was when I divorced.  I did end up remarried and we had another -- granted they are 10 years apart, but (for me) it was an AMAZING experience to have a second child with a truly loving partner. Totally different experience. I have two great kids.

First kid at 30, second at 40.  But the first kid is great on his w own.  -- I think (and I may be wrong), that even if I would not have met DH and had my second, my first was amazing enough that I would have been a happy mom.

[Deleted]

Two is a lot more work than one, especially when you're a single parent.  With one you get some down time, but once you get two (or more), it seems one or the other always needs something.  You miss work for one being out sick, then a few days later the other one comes down with it and you're home with them too.  I'll be trying to help older with his homework and younger is making the back porch look like there was an explosion in a toy factory.  I used to always be able to keep up with laundry and housework, but after the second it all went to hell and I'm not sure why!