The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jan 12, 2015 15:43:14 GMT -5
Ok, I'll admit it. I'm OCD about DD's safety and like a tiger when it comes to keeping her image from getting posted on the web.
DH's family is less than thrilled that I won't let them post pics of DD to their facebook page etc but I don't care. I'm the momma and what I say goes.
I periodically do a search to see how much of a web presence she has, and so far it's almost nonexistent. I don't let any image get posted with her name (and I'm stunned at how sloppy people are about these things).
She's now 12. Her school contacted us and want's to use a picture she's in in a local news article. Only first names will be used but the school will be named.
I'm not thrilled, DH thinks I'm being overprotective.
Thoughts?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 12, 2015 15:50:06 GMT -5
Ok, I'll admit it. I'm OCD about DD's safety and like a tiger when it comes to keeping her image from getting posted on the web. DH's family is less than thrilled that I won't let them post pics of DD to their facebook page etc but I don't care. I'm the momma and what I say goes. I periodically do a search to see how much of a web presence she has, and so far it's almost nonexistent. I don't let any image get posted with her name (and I'm stunned at how sloppy people are about these things). She's now 12. Her school contacted us and want's to use a picture she's in in a local news article. Only first names will be used but the school will be named. I'm not thrilled, DH thinks I'm being overprotective. Thoughts? I'm assuming you mean the school wants to use the photo online. The school's IP address can be traced, and she can possibly be traced through that. I'd go with a no. Tough toots on the school and DH's family. She's not their kid, and this is not Ozzie and Harriet times we're living in. A predator looking at her picture and the school can just show up, ID her and then start asking innocent questions of the other kids. Pretty soon, he'll have the info he needs, like a last name, address and if he watches long enough, he'll figure out some of her daily routine. You're in charge, and these are scary times. Better protective than reactive.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Jan 12, 2015 15:50:54 GMT -5
You are probably being overprotective but it only takes one mistake. I think I would allow it in the local paper if it is a group shot. (for the record I don't have kids so take it for what it's worth)
Doh - I read local news article to mean in a local newspaper not online. In that case NO.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 12, 2015 15:56:18 GMT -5
Why break your own rules for this?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 12, 2015 15:56:20 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with being an over-protective momma-bear.
Even if the school pic is a group photo without names, I'd say no. Nancy pointed out several ways it would be easy for someone with the wrong motives to track down anyone in the pic - including your DD.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 12, 2015 16:04:04 GMT -5
I say over protective but it's been established on YM that I am a rotten excuse for a parent so take it for what it's worth. That being said DH and I have a general agreement that when it comes to the kids who ever feels the most strongly on certain subjects "wins" so in this case it would be you and we wouldn't consent to have the picture in the paper.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 12, 2015 16:04:36 GMT -5
I say NO as well.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 12, 2015 16:09:39 GMT -5
Hell I won't get on Facebook cause my crazy sister has 1000+ friends and followers and shit I don't want MY profile being shared with all of them. I'm not the only family member that feels this way either.
You just do not know nowadays, better be much safer than sorry.
And yes I know I can go on there and be all secretive, but what's that all about anyway. I tried it, it sucks shit.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 12, 2015 16:12:26 GMT -5
Our local papers put the kids' names out of order on group shots, you can't match kid to name like you used to. I think my permission level was group shots with that scrambling of names. They send a form to ask what you're ok with.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Jan 12, 2015 16:13:16 GMT -5
I see nothing wrong with being overprotective
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jan 12, 2015 16:13:40 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this.
As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article.
I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 12, 2015 16:15:30 GMT -5
Our local papers put the kids' names out of order on group shots, you can't match kid to name like you used to. I think my permission level was group shots with that scrambling of names. They send a form to ask what you're ok with. But the school name would be included, right? That's the rub. With the name of the school, and a random list of students' names, it wouldn't take much work for someone with bad intentions to manage to match the names to the faces.
Nancy mentioned just one way of how easy it would be.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 12, 2015 16:20:59 GMT -5
I'd say no, as well. Years ago, this was done regularly, but this isn't years ago. My grandkids put their pics and pics of their kids on the internet, as well. I don't like it and they know I don't like it, but it's their decision. It's a different world today and it's too often not pretty out there.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 12, 2015 16:21:30 GMT -5
Our local papers put the kids' names out of order on group shots, you can't match kid to name like you used to. I think my permission level was group shots with that scrambling of names. They send a form to ask what you're ok with. But the school name would be included, right? That's the rub. With the name of the school, and a random list of students' names, it wouldn't take much work for someone with bad intentions to manage to match the names to the faces.
Nancy mentioned just one way of how easy it would be. If you're local, chances are good you can identify kids by family names anyway. "Yep, that's a Smith there, looks just like his Daddy" ETA: Can't recall if they put the school name on it or not, don't read the papers and my kids don't usually make them.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 12, 2015 16:23:59 GMT -5
To be honest the odds of a weirdo looking up schools and picking out victims from photos is rather slim.
Not saying it CAN'T happen, but it's far more likely the pervert is going to be the school janitor, the dentist, your pediatrician. .. people who already know your child and have easy access to them.
Everyone has their own personal risk tolerance of course. I am not saying go ahead and post whatever you like or let others do it if you don't agree with it.
I'm just saying be careful of manufacturing boogey men.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Jan 12, 2015 16:26:18 GMT -5
It's funny- I have a huge issue with kids posting on line and revealing personal information, but I don't have a problem with their picture in the paper. I never really thought about it. DS has had his picture in the paper many times for various local events. It's never bothered me. But if I google his name- those don't pull up either.
We have a friend who is a prison guard. He's very protective about what gets released (understandably). So when ever a picture of his kids needs to go in the paper, they use his wifes maiden name. They don't even think twice.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 12, 2015 16:26:32 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this. As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article. I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell. I think the other parents look at it as a safety-in-numbers kind of thing, perhaps. Like, "what's the likelihood of my kid getting stalked when they're in a group photo? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a would-be predator doesn't look at it that way, Mr. and Mrs. Parent. Another thing: so many kids are already so Internet-savvy at this point, parents may figure, what's one more photo on one more site? Plus, it's something to share with Gramps, Granny and all the uncles and aunties. Of course Mom and Dad are proud of their kid and want to show them off. They just don't realize that as easy as it is to do that online, it's just as easy for a total stranger to troll the school's website.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 12, 2015 16:33:07 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this. As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article. I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell. I think the other parents look at it as a safety-in-numbers kind of thing, perhaps. Like, "what's the likelihood of my kid getting stalked when they're in a group photo? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a would-be predator doesn't look at it that way, Mr. and Mrs. Parent. Another thing: so many kids are already so Internet-savvy at this point, parents may figure, what's one more photo on one more site? Plus, it's something to share with Gramps, Granny and all the uncles and aunties. Of course Mom and Dad are proud of their kid and want to show them off. They just don't realize that as easy as it is to do that online, it's just as easy for a total stranger to troll the school's website. The school's website picture quality and the local paper's are vastly different things. They do not have permission to put any of my kids on their website. Most of the time you have a hard time picking out one kid from the other in a large group picture. A group of 5 to 10 and you may be able to say "hey, there's my kid or so and so's kid"
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 12, 2015 16:35:30 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this. As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article. I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell. Don't cave to the pressure!! (Of course if it was my kid who didn't get in the paper because of you I would be snubbing you at the next PTO meeting!)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2015 16:41:09 GMT -5
I am constantly reminding my kids not to post pics and details online, or discuss them with strangers online, however innocently. It might seem.
I am a bit surprised that the prevailing opinion in the board about letting kids say walk alone, etc is so lax, when the picture thing is so tight.
You might eventually come to a point when they will win an award, etc.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 12, 2015 16:42:33 GMT -5
I think the other parents look at it as a safety-in-numbers kind of thing, perhaps. Like, "what's the likelihood of my kid getting stalked when they're in a group photo? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a would-be predator doesn't look at it that way, Mr. and Mrs. Parent. Another thing: so many kids are already so Internet-savvy at this point, parents may figure, what's one more photo on one more site? Plus, it's something to share with Gramps, Granny and all the uncles and aunties. Of course Mom and Dad are proud of their kid and want to show them off. They just don't realize that as easy as it is to do that online, it's just as easy for a total stranger to troll the school's website. The school's website picture quality and the local paper's are vastly different things. They do not have permission to put any of my kids on their website. Most of the time you have a hard time picking out one kid from the other in a large group picture. A group of 5 to 10 and you may be able to say "hey, there's my kid or so and so's kid" True. And there's no IP address on a newspaper photo. It's alarmingly easy to trace someone based on an IP address. One thing about newspapers, though. If your town has both paper and digital versions of the newspaper, it's something to consider as far as letting your kids' photos go into the publication. As CL has pointed out, an online version of a photo is much clearer than the hard copy paper version. If you are approached by your hometown paper, and you know there is a hard copy and digital version, make sure you ask where the photo is being used. Most times, the photo becomes exclusive property of the newspaper and they can use it any way they deem fit. Many newspapers make their digital content subscription-only access, which I personally dislike, because it restricts access to those willing/able to pay, but I also like it for security purposes.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 12, 2015 16:43:52 GMT -5
My oldest has won awards and been in the paper for music related stuff. He's untouched by the pervs. DD isn't a joiner, so no stuff so far to put in paper, except honor roll which is names only. (Assuming they still do it) Youngest is still on lockdown and also not getting awards that are newspaper worthy thus far.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jan 12, 2015 16:46:02 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this. As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article. I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell. Don't cave to the pressure!! (Of course if it was my kid who didn't get in the paper because of you I would be snubbing you at the next PTO meeting!) Meh. I can count on zero fingers the number of PTO meetings I've attended...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 12, 2015 16:47:21 GMT -5
Gwen's been in the paper, but she was 3 months old at the time. She looks quite different now.
I'm aware of Gwen's online presence and I grew up at the height of "stranger danger" so it's not like I am burying my head in the sand. I'm also 100% supportive of everyone exercising their own personal risk tolerance when it comes to their children and everyone else can suck it, they're not the parents.
But honestly I am that not terrified of random weirdos anymore, I am more worried about the ones right under my nose. It scares the shit out of me that I can lock down her internet presence tighter than Fort Knox only to find out my pediatrician had a hidden camera all this time.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 12, 2015 16:47:35 GMT -5
Just to be clear, I'm not saying do it or to just let everyone run rampant with kids on their FB pages, just saying consider what YOU know about the paper, and any digital content there may be.
My sister won't post pictures of anyone's kids without permission and won't even friend them (like my DD) without parental consent. I think not friending your own niece is a little too careful but that's how she is.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jan 14, 2015 22:24:41 GMT -5
To be honest the odds of a weirdo looking up schools and picking out victims from photos is rather slim.
Not saying it CAN'T happen, but it's far more likely the pervert is going to be the school janitor, the dentist, your pediatrician. .. people who already know your child and have easy access to them. Everyone has their own personal risk tolerance of course. I am not saying go ahead and post whatever you like or let others do it if you don't agree with it. I'm just saying be careful of manufacturing boogey men. Agreed. A stranger isn't likely to go through all the trouble of tracking IP addresses, trying to match faces to names, then interviewing other kids for more information. Pedophiles don't usually zero in on particular kids and go for the easier pickings. They'll see a kid alone and go for it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2015 22:48:20 GMT -5
What are you protecting her from? Most predators are known to the family or regular presence in child environment. You let kid on internet and they contact strangers is a problem. Post pictures in newspaper would not be a worry for me.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Jan 14, 2015 23:01:52 GMT -5
I'm sorry but I think that is just way over the top. It is the local paper and she is 12 years old. Surely you have had talks with her about stranger danger.
In our local news there is talk of the school janitor who was just arrested for going out into the hallways during passing time between classes and "brushing up" against girls rear ends. He claims that he didn't do it on purpose and the hallways were crowded etc. etc. etc.
This year alone we have been news reports of 2 different school volunteers who were arrested for inappropriate behavior with the kids.
Those are the people I would be worried about not some group picture in the newspaper and so what if the picture is online. There aren't any last names used.
You can take what I say with a grain of salt because I was the horrid mother in the neighborhood who taught her DD how to ride the public bus at age 11. True she was only riding it two miles to the dance studio and the studio knew she rode the bus on that certain day of the week but I sure was the talk of the neighborhood for a while.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2015 11:12:58 GMT -5
Ok good. I just see what some folks post in social media and was wondering if I was wayyyy too over the top on this. As far as why would I break my rules, apparently we are the only parents of the group of kids in the picture that didn't sign the automatic permission slip to publish photos (WTF!!!?!!!). We don't agree, it doesn't get published. No one get's to see their kids in an article. I can't believe I'm the only parent that thinks this way. Oh hell. maybe you should have let everyone know beforehand so they could have taken the pic without your child so that the parents who do want the picture with the article aren't screwed. and I think you're way overreacting.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2015 11:13:50 GMT -5
To be honest the odds of a weirdo looking up schools and picking out victims from photos is rather slim. Not saying it CAN'T happen, but it's far more likely the pervert is going to be the school janitor, the dentist, your pediatrician. .. people who already know your child and have easy access to them. Everyone has their own personal risk tolerance of course. I am not saying go ahead and post whatever you like or let others do it if you don't agree with it. I'm just saying be careful of manufacturing boogey men. and even more likely that the pervert is going to be a relative!
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