Formerly SK
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 27, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,255
|
Post by Formerly SK on Jul 3, 2014 12:37:15 GMT -5
@formerlysk Her father had the same issues. No amount of 'learning' pushed the re-set or 'get a clue' button for him. I won't do 11th hour rescues, but if the need for rescue can be prevented I'd rather be doing that part of it. We recently decided to fully step out of planning for a small family event to let her do it her way. It did not go well. I'm not going into details, but it was bad. If she had a potluck BBQ with a surprise wedding she wouldn't be inviting people who have to fly in for the event. If she was having a backyard bbq for her gym buddies, I wouldn't care if there was dog poop in the grass. She could give them all rakes when they arrive and tell them to take care of it. You don't do that for a wedding party.So let the long distance people know what the event is going to be like and they can decide if it's worth attending. In some ways what she is doing is a destination wedding in that she values her vision over other things. Nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't need to be kept a secret. If it's too over the top for some people, they can decide to stay home. Maybe you can throw her a small dinner sometime after the wedding near where you live so the relatives could attend and be part of celebrating her marriage?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 16, 2024 14:15:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 16:33:15 GMT -5
Not everyone has the gifts or skills to do the same things. Daughter #1 can produce amazing art, has creative vision, and has flair. But can't build a plan or follow one. Never has been able to. Have certainly let her fall on her face a number of times in the past. It does not change the outcome. She will not magically develop the ability to implement a plan, schedule or list of activities. Her brain does not work that way.
Do I want her sitting on her porch an hour before the wedding crying because her dress has been ruined, the pig has been dragged off the spit by a dog pack, the kids aren't cleaned up or dressed, it started to rain and she never could figure out how to get a tent delivered? What great life lesson does she learn at that point? That using her wedding as a practice run for everything wasn't a good idea? No kidding!
I think you misunderstand. My assumption, because I am having a hard time finding resources that rent/deliver/set up stuff, is that in the end an alternate venue for the entertainment part of the evening will be more manageable. When we show her what we are finding, she may have other suggestions that she knows of such as so-and-so's uncle can make me 6 picnic tables before that date. We just need to get chairs. I don't know how it will turn out yet, other than we were not keen on the hay bale idea or her trying to orchestrate a pig on her own.
What we can outsource easily is what will happen first, so we have time to spend on the things that will have to be pitched in on because we can't find someone to help with it.
Not sure why anyone is having fits about paying for step-son and his sister's airfare and hotel to make sure they can attend. Are you just miserly? It is not a horrible dent in my retirement plan and I won't be eating cat food. I have been very fortunate in my employment choices and they have worked out well.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 16, 2024 14:15:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 16:36:58 GMT -5
Thanks on the porta-potty upgrade information. I had never seen one with porcelain flushing toilet. It says they have them in her area, so I will call on Monday to reserve one. They only handle 120 uses each, so I will have to get a couple I think. I am expecting some of her guests will be crashing there overnight so it will be good to have them for that too. They bring them on a trailer and then the trailer drops down to the ground. Decor for those is also great idea. Honestly would not have thought of it!!
Now DD#2 just asked where people are going to park their cars - D'oh - that is going to be a problem!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 16, 2024 14:15:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2014 13:20:15 GMT -5
Further developments: It will be a Renaissance Themed Wedding. Now I get the hay bale thing! But we have actually convinced her that she needs tables/chairs/tent for regular seating and meal. Also why she wants pig on spit & the whole messy carving thing. Might set up one small tent with hay bales for story telling or a punch & judy puppet show for the kids to follow a Renaissance Faire theme. Found a place that will rent tents, tables, chairs etc. Not quite local but a little less than an hour away. Will call them on Monday and hope they have stuff available for that weekend and don't beat me up too much on delivery and set up charges! Found another place with stuff, but they look smaller and don't do delivery or set up as normal part of their service. Can't see if it was Sroo or SK's suggestion, but we are going with making the list of things & resources for her to use & give her the budget amount that I will cover. I guess we will avoid the battle of wills that way. I will be telling her that tent/tables/chairs/portable restrooms are the first and mandatory piece that she has to do before I cut the check. And here's an example of the lack of planning gene ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png) She finally sent us the guest list with 60 names. Ummm, she didn't account for spouses or children. I think her list is really 100+ Reviewing them, most will attend because they are close friends & family and all but a few are local. I am looking for a wedding planner, and I hope to find one that can successfully plan an outdoor at home wedding. You have all given me good pointers so we get the ball rolling initially since it is a short time to get it all arranged.
|
|
Peace77
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 1:42:40 GMT -5
Posts: 3,947
|
Post by Peace77 on Jul 5, 2014 15:25:14 GMT -5
Perhaps you should also remind her that she will need a wedding license. Maybe you can see how far ahead they can get the license. Perhaps that can be done before her surgery.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 16, 2024 14:15:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2014 22:48:02 GMT -5
Peace77 Had not even thought about that! It is good to have some extra brains on this!!! You can apply on line, but both have to appear in person to pick it up. So I hope he will be back more than 3 days before the big day! I will check that with her when I see her tomorrow. Wouldn't that just be priceless - get all the nonsense together around the ceremony & party and then forget the license!!
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,595
|
Post by Ombud on Jul 6, 2014 4:44:30 GMT -5
Casual wedding. Not!![](http://seattlefarmtables.com/wp-content/uploads/cerad4.jpg)
Wow that's fancy!! So much fancier than the one we just had for 200! I guess DSs sort of looked like that without the canopy, forks only. But then what was needed with a park theme (think camping type park not city version). FYI a cake for 50 is super easy. 16" tier 12" tier 8" tier and garden flowers to decorate
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Jun 16, 2024 14:15:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2014 9:48:07 GMT -5
Ombud It will be nothing so fancy at the picture. I was just whining that if DD lived near civilization I could just pick up the phone and get above delivered & set up. She's in an agricultural area and it will be more like a big back yard BBQ event. Honestly I was hoping to find a place that rents wood tables or picnic benches so we wouldn't have to have table cloths. Kids always manage to drag them off the table, and maybe sometimes clutzy guests like me too. So far we can only locate a rental place with traditional tables with folding legs that need the cloths to the floor. I guess no one has a barn full of tables waiting for us to ask for them! There are moments where I feel like we should just get 30 of the cheap patio tables and buy 100 golf umbrellas for rain coverage. But in truth she has a very tiny house, so she couldn't even fit 100 people in there to hide from the rain if there is a cloudburst. She is like MPL I think - loves her little house out in the middle of nowhere with privacy & stunning views. She absolutely hates being in city or suburbs. I like being closer to the city and services.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Jul 6, 2014 11:48:54 GMT -5
Just tie the table cloth corners to the legs to eliminate the problem. There are a variety of different ways to tie a tablecloth with ribbons so that it looks even better than if it were just hanging to the floor. You can probably see some options on pinterest.
|
|