Parents sent 12 kids to college without paying for them...

[gooddecisions]

Interesting perspective from these parents who never paid for any of their kids' colleges, weddings or houses.  It seems a little utopic, but I like some of the practices:
qz.com/165716/how-i-made-sure-all-12-of-my-kids-could-pay-for-college-themselves/

I know me and my siblings would have thrown a fit if we had to get up every morning at 5 to do chores before school. I also doubt I would have built my computer or car, but who knows. Did they get lucky with their kids or are they really just that good?

[mollyanna58]

It doesn't say how the kids actually paid for college.  Do they have huge student loans?  Did they all go to college? Do the kids still talk to the parents?  It says the family hasn't been in the same place since 1998.

[phil5185]

I worked with an engineer that had 7 kids, their story was similar - each kid did for the younger kids - getting them breakfast/dressed for school, hand-me-down clothes, hand-me-down cars, etc.  I recall that scholarships were are a major family project, each kid applied for all kinds of scholarships - also using the hand-me-down knowledge of the older kids. He said that there were all kinds of little known  scholarships that go unclaimed. And, just like in the news story, everyone became degreed & successful.

[justme]

Jan 23, 2014 13:02:14 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

It doesn't say how the kids actually paid for college.  Do they have huge student loans?  Did they all go to college? Do the kids still talk to the parents?  It says the family hasn't been in the same place since 1998.

Yeah, you would have thought there would have been a wedding or something that would have gotten them all together in the last 15 years.

[alabamagal]

I read the story and was impressed.  Made me feel like I do too much for my kids....

They also had to earn their own money for car, and got a junk car and had to fix it up.

I know a family in a similar situation here with 10 kids.  The oldest have gone to college on grants, scholarships, and some loans.  Younger ones not yet college age. 

One thing is with that many dependents (at least for the older kids) they probably qualify for some Pell grant money even with a decent salary.  My kids get some Pell money because I had 3 kids in college at the same time, and they get some now that I am down to 2.

[Deleted]

I'm sure they are making it sound pretty good now that they are looking back on raising kids from afar.  I kinda question whether or not most of this stuff actually happened; particularly the whole thing about re-building your car engine (12 cars) and building your own computer.  "Here's the manual!"

I can't say that I'm all that impressed one way or another.  I can run an authoritarian household and not let kids eat between meals, but I choose not to.  

[swamp]

I really like the part where he says that they had to eat whatever food was provided, and none of their kids have allergies, implying that allergies are created by the parents.

My kids don't have allergies either, and it has nothing to do with my parenting.

[giramomma]

That's pretty much our take on how to raise kids, except we're a little lighter. We do a mix of vacations, and with a small baby, I always preferred hotels. We won't pay for a car, but we will help with weddings and college.

I don't make my kids get up at 5 for chores, but I they are expected to do them. We do not tie chores to allowance. Chores simply need to be done.  We work on life skills as soon as possible. I bake with my kids as soon as they can a measuring cup of flour into a bowl.

We give our kids much more say and choice than what I had growing up. They also know that somethings are not up for debate.

I'm shocked, though, with 12 kids, that they were able to get everyone's required sports and activities done by 6 pm, though. I think that's pretty uncommon and you won't find that these days.

We're also more lenient  on food. I can't imagine that a 14 year old boy that has just come home from a 3 hour sports practice is not allowed to snack. I'm also surprised that coaches would excuse kids to get home early from practice to eat on time..

We also prefer that our kids not eat in a half hour. I can't believe that the older ones could eat at a nice pace, have pleasant dinner conversation, plus cut up the food for the younger ones, plus clear the table in a half hour...With three kids, it takes us 45 minutes...

[hoops902]

::Did they all go to college?::

It says they all either have degrees or are enrolled in college currently.

These kids really didn't have it all that bad in terms of responsibility.  Plenty of 16 year olds don't have a car.  He bought them cars, all the parts, if they screwed up he just kept buying new parts and let them learn from their mistakes.  Some parents woudl make kids work to pay for that car and all the parts.  Multiple weeks of vacations to places in the US and abroad. 

It also helps when dad is an engineer who can probably help you through doing stuff like rebuilding a car or computer.  It's a nice story, but not really practical for almost anyone to be able to do.  They were also helped in some of the things by having kids over the course of many years.  You can have a bunch of little kids if you also have older kids to help them out so the parents aren't getting stuck helping with homework every night for 2 hours (though I'm a little confused how they had homework for 2 hours "every night" if the kids were involved in activities so often.  When I was in HS we had basketball games twice a week, at least 1 late practice once a week.  Other activities ran on other nights.  With a male sibling in wrestling or a female sibling in another activity, we would have been at games/matches/stuff every night of the week.)

[justme]

Also, they might have spent a lot of time with the kids that didn't test for AP but were forced into it. Or the kids in that class resented them. My school let pretty much anyone that wanted to take AP take it, there were a lot of people that couldn't keep up with the course load and held the whole class back - making sure a lot of people didn't pass the test because we didn't get far enough in the material.

As for the all being skinny - also lucky that none of them have had any health issue that affect that.

[swamp]

obviously the guy worked hard. I'd like to know what his wife's take on it is...............

[sarcasticgirl]

my parents didn't pay for my college, wedding or house either. 

But I imagine with a family of 12 they probably got plenty of financial aid.

[swamp]

Jan 23, 2014 13:17:58 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I'm shocked, though, with 12 kids, that they were able to get everyone's required sports and activities done by 6 pm, though. I think that's pretty uncommon and you won't find that these days.

We're also more lenient  on food. I can't imagine that a 14 year old boy that has just come home from a 3 hour sports practice is not allowed to snack. I'm also surprised that coaches would excuse kids to get home early from practice to eat on time..

We also prefer that our kids not eat in a half hour. I can't believe that the older ones could eat at a nice pace, have pleasant dinner conversation, plus cut up the food for the younger ones, plus clear the table in a half hour...With three kids, it takes us 45 minutes...

[gooddecisions]

Yeah...I don't think I'll take this approach. I was a good kid who grew into a responsible, financially independent adult and am very thankful my parents didn't make me jump through all those hoops. But, I think it's pretty cool if their kids were go with the flow types that enjoyed the challenges. I would love to hear from the kids.

Everyone I know at the author's company makes really good money, so I have no doubt their hint that they could afford more than they provided was accurate.

[sarcasticgirl]

Jan 23, 2014 13:15:08 GMT -5 swamp said:

I really like the part where he says that they had to eat whatever food was provided, and none of their kids have allergies, implying that allergies are created by the parents.

My kids don't have allergies either, and it has nothing to do with my parenting.

I have allergies... I BLAME MY PARENTS!

[hoops902]

::They also had to earn their own money for car, and got a junk car and had to fix it up.::

Parents bought them the car and all the parts.  THe kids did the labor only.

::I kinda question whether or not most of this stuff actually happened; particularly the whole thing about re-building your car engine (12 cars) and building your own computer. "Here's the manual!"::

I'm sure having an engineer for a father helped.  And I'm sure after the first couple did it, they were helping the younger ones.  It also said they made the younger kids help with car repair/maintenance...so I'm sure by 16 they weren't exactly clueless when it came to cars.  If you have a kid every year, you really only need to help the oldest one, then force the oldest one to help the one below.

[swamp]

Jan 23, 2014 13:21:18 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

Jan 23, 2014 13:15:08 GMT -5 swamp said:

I really like the part where he says that they had to eat whatever food was provided, and none of their kids have allergies, implying that allergies are created by the parents.

My kids don't have allergies either, and it has nothing to do with my parenting.

I have allergies... I BLAME MY PARENTS!

according to the author, that makes you a special snowflake who was spoiled by your parents, and if you weren't so picky, you wouldn't have allergies.

[hoops902]

Jan 23, 2014 13:18:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

obviously the guy worked hard. I'd like to know what his wife's take on it is...............

I'd be particularly curious about her thoughts on being left for days on end at a "base camp" during a 3 week vacation with a load of kids under age 6.

[giramomma]

I would also not allow a child who wakes up in the middle of the night to get on a 8 hour plane ride by themselves for the first time.

Last summer, I started teaching the kids how to use our bus system. We'll work on it again next summer. My oldest knows there's going to be a time where we may not be able to drive him to activities, so we are preparing him for getting around by himself. (He's 10).

We usually take driving vacations, but I want my oldest to be able to visit family by himself when he's a teen. I'm hoping he and DH will be able to start going on planes soon. I figure after a few practice runs, #1 will be able to handle things on his own.

[whoisjohngalt]

Why are there never "normal" stories, why are there always those extremes??

I want to know how "regular" people accomplish things.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jan 23, 2014 13:02:14 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

It doesn't say how the kids actually paid for college.  Do they have huge student loans?  Did they all go to college? Do the kids still talk to the parents?  It says the family hasn't been in the same place since 1998.

I think what was meant was that because most of the kids are grown and on their own, they are all scattered and living in different places. The article mentions that they use the Internet for exchanging Christmas gift lists now.

I admire the parents on this. They sound like loving but strict people. They gave their kids a lot of opportunities, including national and international travel, cars, electronics and plenty of other gifts. But they expected, and I think rightly so, that the kids would do what they should do:  perform their chores, get good educations, learn real-world tasks (sewing, car repair, computer hardware basics) and treat each other with love and respect and take care and learn from of each other. I like the idea of using mistakes as a learning tool, rather than to punish.

[giramomma]

My H builds all of our computers, did all his laundry by 12, was handed cars, expected to watch/help care for his brother, expected to get good grades, etc.

I still have more inner drive than he does. Being able to build a computer and do your own laundry doesn't fundamentally change your personality.

[Deleted]

Jan 23, 2014 13:24:34 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why are there never "normal" stories, why are there always those extremes??

I want to know how "regular" people accomplish things.

They don't. 

[The Captain]

Jan 23, 2014 13:30:02 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

Jan 23, 2014 13:24:34 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why are there never "normal" stories, why are there always those extremes??

I want to know how "regular" people accomplish things.

They don't. 

Damn! Beer - you beat me to it...

[hoops902]

Jan 23, 2014 13:24:34 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why are there never "normal" stories, why are there always those extremes??

I want to know how "regular" people accomplish things.

I didn't think there was TOO much extreme here.  Mostly the cars and computer things are the outliers.  I think a lot of us were made to help around the house in general.

And some of it, frankly, I don't believe is true.  Particularly that EVERY night from 6-8 pm was study time.  And that after that they could do "anything" as long as they were home by curfew.  Requiring kids to be in clubs and extracurriculars makes it probably impossible that all kids were home between 6-8pm every night.

[swamp]

I can't build my own computer or restore my own vehicle. Why would I require my kids to do it?

I will, however, require them to scrub the toilet, mow the lawn, vacuum, cook, and do assorted other chores.

[swamp]

Jan 23, 2014 13:34:19 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Jan 23, 2014 13:24:34 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Why are there never "normal" stories, why are there always those extremes??

I want to know how "regular" people accomplish things.

I didn't think there was TOO much extreme here.  Mostly the cars and computer things are the outliers.  I think a lot of us were made to help around the house in general.

And some of it, frankly, I don't believe is true.  Particularly that EVERY night from 6-8 pm was study time.  And that after that they could do "anything" as long as they were home by curfew.  Requiring kids to be in clubs and extracurriculars makes it probably impossible that all kids were home between 6-8pm every night.

And how much can you get done from 8 to bedtime when 12 people have to bathe, brush teeth, have story time, and all the other crap that goes along with putting little kids to bed.

[Deleted]

I'm shocked, though, with 12 kids, that they were able to get everyone's required sports and activities done by 6 pm, though. I think that's pretty uncommon and you won't find that these days.

there was probably little to no extracurriculars. You can't really have Bobby, Suzy, and Mikey doing soccer/softball/whatever if they are essentially raising their younger siblings...

I would have hated to be an older child in a huge family - it seems like you basically have no childhood.

[hoops902]

::I can't build my own computer or restore my own vehicle. Why would I require my kids to do it? ::

This guy made his kids do things which aligned with his skillset.  He was an engineer. 

I'm in the financial field, it would like me saying by the time my kids were 3 they had their own budget and balanced their own books.  Yes I'm making my kids do it, but it's within a space that I can teach them and help them out.  He taught the kids to cook by telling them to read a recipe and apply math to double it.  His personal skillset kind of happens to align with stuff that sounds more difficult for most of us.

[swamp]

Jan 23, 2014 13:36:56 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

I'm shocked, though, with 12 kids, that they were able to get everyone's required sports and activities done by 6 pm, though. I think that's pretty uncommon and you won't find that these days.

there was probably little to no extracurriculars. You can't really have Bobby, Suzy, and Mikey doing soccer/softball/whatever if they are essentially raising their younger siblings...

I would have hated to be an older child in a huge family - it seems like you basically have no childhood.

Nuh uh. Dad said everyone had to do a sport and a club and religion, and volunteer, and all sorts of other stuff.