swasat
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 13, 2011 9:34:28 GMT -5
Posts: 3,735
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Post by swasat on Dec 13, 2013 14:28:43 GMT -5
I get it. Please don't be offended, thats not my ntention. But how do you want to extract an acknowledgement out of him? He hasn't agreed to or acknowledged it for so many years. Wouldn't it be just easier to not think about the unmet expectations of the past specially since you have plenty of money? Hey, its a messagboard, you can vent all you want. But we, as strangers can try to gve you a viewpoint different than yours
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whoisjohngalt
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 13, 2013 14:32:20 GMT -5
Well, take it from someone who has no emotional or any other stake in your whole situation, you sound very resentful and still very hurt and not happy about it at all.
You seem to be the only one out of 4-5 people who is doing any "tallying" and keeping the score. Your DH and his parents don't seem to worry or care about who paid for what and how much
And you seem to be bringing that up any chance you get (without being it too obvious), so yeah, kind of passive aggressive.
And evidently it doesn't even matter that you have plenty of money, bc you still "crying" over whatever money your DH spent before.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 13, 2013 14:33:53 GMT -5
We all like to be heard. Thanks Sroo.
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gooddecisions
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Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 13, 2013 14:35:18 GMT -5
No, my husband has more spreadsheets than I do when it comes to expenses. I bring it up when it has relevance. If I sound "very resentful", you sound very angry. I know I'm not resentful, so I'm going to guess you're not really angry.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 13, 2013 14:40:28 GMT -5
I just looked again. I thought OP asked what she should do. But looking again, there doesn't appear to be a question involved, just a vent.
By all means, vent!
I think people were trying to help and say what they would do in your situation and explain the things they personally had issues with.
If the money isn't worrisome and your relationship is great, I guess there really isn't any problem at all?
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raeoflyte
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Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 13, 2013 14:49:06 GMT -5
I think paying back the $30k is the best way to end any idea that his parents were helping him out. That way the loan was to get him into an affordable house that he was ble to subsidize dgf. Maybe that would help settle the issues with his parents and when they bring up how awesome they are, and you can just say, "well bless your hearts!"
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Deleted
Joined: May 3, 2024 8:29:54 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2013 15:19:38 GMT -5
If you are not resentful and all is perfect then you probably should stop bringing it up even when it is "relevant". Otherwise it gives the impression that you are resentful and all isnt perfect. Just have your DH give/ pay them back the 30k and move on from the money they gave, he spent on grandpa and friend and money he didnt pay when he lived with you.
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Deleted
Joined: May 3, 2024 8:29:54 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2013 15:36:40 GMT -5
I am just curious: Did the son pay back for the rehab, did the daughter repay the house down payment, and so on? Did they pay for your DH's school and he's repaying the additional "help" they gave? Otherwise, I don't see that they've helped out each child about equally. However, don't look to me for answers. I don't know how to talk about money.
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Dec 13, 2013 15:59:01 GMT -5
This whole situation sounds out of whack, so if your marriage is great, your finances are great, you have plenty of money, you have "no issues" etc., then just let him pay back his parents, and keep the rental house. If it is really a problem, then get the marital counseling and tell him you don't want him to pay the remaining $ 27000 to the parents, and have him put it into an investment for both of you.
You need to figure out what you really want here. I think you at least need to sit down with a counselor to learn how to express yourself in an open, constructive way for the sake of your marriage.
There is something wrong here, based on your posts, but I can't quite put it into words.
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