thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 16:00:12 GMT -5
On this board, I've learned my children are doomed to molested, my marriage is part of the 100% of marriages who are unhappy, I'm the reason my mother doesn't love me and I dress in ugly clothing.
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trytofindbalance
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Post by trytofindbalance on Feb 27, 2013 16:01:20 GMT -5
Dh and I usually vacation together; however, I generally go on a few girls weekends a year. I also usually meet up with friends for dinner once a month or so. DH would rather naw his own arm off then join us and I feel the same way about spending the day/night hanging out with some of his friends...no thanks.
I usually go to Vegas once a year for a work conference. I extend my stay by 4 days to visit with friends. DH could care less.
DH is going to his cousin's wedding in FL in March with his brother. He asked me if I wanted to go, but the added expenses wouldn't be worth it. I'd rather use the money for a vacation for the two of us later in the year.
I think it's all about what works for you. We enjoy vacationing and spending time together, but we also enjoy spending time with other people. We don't have to do everything together to prove that we love each other. I feel plenty connected to my DH. We agree on all of these trips/nights out and it works for us, so that makes it all good.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 16:04:10 GMT -5
Stop bragging. But seriously - is everyone cranky this week? I got in a snit with Cawiau a few days ago and it seems like it's happening all over the boards.
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thyme4change
Community Leader
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 16:07:11 GMT -5
I'm always cranky. I also am very self-centered, so I don't notice if others are cranky.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 16:12:14 GMT -5
I think everyone is on their period.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 16:20:07 GMT -5
We are cycle sisters!
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 16:22:04 GMT -5
Chocolate and wine for everyone!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 16:34:33 GMT -5
It's this d$:-:,$' weather... If it doesn't stop snowing or icing and get above 45 soon, I'm going to have to mom someone...
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thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 27, 2013 16:37:39 GMT -5
LOL - what does that mean? You are going to make them brush their teeth and eat their vegetables?
[/span]
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 16:41:58 GMT -5
Lol... Good autocorrect, I was going for maim...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 16:56:44 GMT -5
My husband traveled so much during his career, I think nothing of it. Actually, I miss him being away. Since retiring, he's around ALL THE TIME, and as anticipated, driving me nuts! My DH likes to walk but not hike. More than 5 miles and you'd think you're with a whiney 5 year old. Therefore no hiking trips for him. We go on other trips together and did take advantage of those three years in Europe. Now that we're back in the US we've already traveled to AZ, So. CA, OR and last week So. CA again. We need to plan another trip to OR soon to get MIL's paperwork in order. And of course, back to So. CA for property stuff. That won't be a vacation. Because of the eviction, I'm probably not going to do the Mt. Kenya Hike because the eviction is probably going to cost $10k. I had hoped to meet up with DH afterwards to do a safari but he's really not enthusiastic about going to Africa. I didn't do anything last year but in 2011 I did the hiking in Croatia trip with a group and the year before the Swiss Alps with a friend and the same organization. The year before I did a Grand Canyon Rim to Rim by myself. Prior to that I went on a Goat packing trip in the Wind River, a cycling trip in Western Ireland and a cycling and kayaking trip with my mom and group she knew. These "adventure" trips are not DH's cup of tea.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 17:00:15 GMT -5
I had hoped to meet up with DH afterwards to do a safari but he's really not enthusiastic about going to Africa.
My Dad just retired this year and we want to do a safari together. DH is totally not interested, but older son is, so it might be just the three of us someday.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Feb 27, 2013 17:15:12 GMT -5
Out of curiosity- why is that weird to you?? You get such little time to be able to spend on extended vacations, who else would you want to spend those unique moments with, if not your most loved one? And there are people who think it's totally weird to have an infant sleeping in a different room from the parents. Just as not all parents do the attachment parenting thing, not all couples need to be joined at the hip all the time. I had a great time when DH took off for a few days and I took PTO and got to hang around with the kids. But that doesn't mean I wasn't happy to see him when he returned.
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 17:18:50 GMT -5
You get such little time to be able to spend on extended vacations, who else would you want to spend those unique moments with, if not your most loved one? And there are people who think it's totally weird to have an infant sleeping in a different room from the parents. Just as not all parents do the attachment parenting thing, not all couples need to be joined at the hip all the time. I had a great time when DH took off for a few days and I took PTO and got to hang around with the kids. But that doesn't mean I wasn't happy to see him when he returned. That was a double negative versus simply making a positive statement, I sense ambivalence.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 17:22:23 GMT -5
And there are people who think it's totally weird to have an infant sleeping in a different room from the parents. Just as not all parents do the attachment parenting thing, not all couples need to be joined at the hip all the time. I had a great time when DH took off for a few days and I took PTO and got to hang around with the kids. But that doesn't mean I wasn't happy to see him when he returned. That was a double negative versus simply making a positive statement, I sense ambivalence. Clearly your marriage is doomed, former
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 17:26:36 GMT -5
That was a double negative versus simply making a positive statement, I sense ambivalence. Clearly your marriage is doomed, former Your marriage will be doomed if you don't take out the trash once in a while.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 17:32:46 GMT -5
Clearly your marriage is doomed, former Your marriage will be doomed if you don't take out the trash once in a while. I hear that is a leading cause of divorces...
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 17:34:48 GMT -5
2nd to not speaking to each other during the work day...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 17:39:14 GMT -5
I'm sure there are examples of couples who have been happily married for ages despite traveling separately upon occasion. My sister has been married for 15 years. Her husband is in the Navy and was deployed 5 to 6 months at a crack. Going on a 5 day fishing trip kind of pales in comparison.
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 17:46:58 GMT -5
2nd to not speaking to each other during the work day... Do you talk to your husband during work and if so who calls whom?
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 17:50:14 GMT -5
My in laws have been married for nearly 40 years, they always take separate vacations. He takes multiple fishing trips a year, she goes on cruises and vacations with her sisters. Most of their trips are without the other.
My mother and step father have been married 30 years- they take trips without each other all the time. I just booked my step father a plane ticket to Vegas to visit his brother. My mom visits me solo and takes trips with her friends and with my sisters.
Ditto my grandparents who were married 50 years...
And back in the day, no one talked to each other during their work day.
Growing up in my family... it was the norm for the men to go off on hunting/fishing/whatever trips. The women went on shopping weekends or beach trips etc. and everyone in my extended family is still married to the same spouse they had 30+ years ago.
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 17:52:08 GMT -5
My in laws have been married for nearly 40 years, they always take separate vacations. He takes multiple fishing trips a year, she goes on cruises and vacations with her sisters. Most of their trips are without the other. My mother and step father have been married 30 years- they take trips without each other all the time. I just booked my step father a plane ticket to Vegas to visit his brother. My mom visits me solo and takes trips with her friends and with my sisters. Ditto my grandparents who were married 50 years... And back in the day, no one talked to each other during their work day. Growing up in my family... it was the norm for the men to go off on hunting/fishing/whatever trips. The women went on shopping weekends or beach trips etc. and everyone in my extended family is still married to the same spouse they had 30+ years ago. It sounds like your family is descended from the Inuit people.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 17:56:49 GMT -5
I'm 44 and up until 6 years ago when I got an office job, calling anyone was prohibited except on my two 10 minute breaks and 20 minute lunch. My husband worked a similar job somewhere else, so it's not like I could call his company, have him paged off the floor and just say "hi", while at the same time wasting my only time to have any kind of food or drink. It got a little easier with cell phones, because we could leave text messages discreetly while in the bathroom or something but for the most part the factory owned me and the other 800 married folks from 7-3 or 3-11...whatever shift I was on.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 17:59:04 GMT -5
2nd to not speaking to each other during the work day... Do you talk to your husband during work and if so who calls whom? Nope, we do not talk during the work. We email on occasion, some days we send a few emails... some days none at all. oh wait... he did call me once shortly after we got married to ask me my SS# as he was changing his insurance information. why is it important that I talk to him while we are both working?
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 18:00:00 GMT -5
I'm 44 and up until 6 years ago when I got an office job, calling anyone was prohibited except on my two 10 minute breaks and 20 minute lunch. My husband worked a similar job somewhere else, so it's not like I could call his company, have him paged off the floor and just say "hi", while at the same time wasting my only time to have any kind of food or drink. It got a little easier with cell phones, because we could leave text messages discreetly while in the bathroom or something but for the most part the factory owned me and the other 800 married folks from 7-3 or 3-11...whatever shift I was on. You had harsh bosses and a strict time schedule, that is why you turned out to be so disciplined and accomplished. Sarcastic Girl is young and hasn't learned the lessons from the school of hard knocks.
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 27, 2013 18:01:29 GMT -5
Do you talk to your husband during work and if so who calls whom? Nope, we do not talk during the work. We email on occasion, some days we send a few emails... some days none at all. oh wait... he did call me once shortly after we got married to ask me my SS# as he was changing his insurance information. why is it important that I talk to him while we are both working? The question is not one of importance, the question is one of who you are and what motivates you.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 18:03:39 GMT -5
My in laws have been married for nearly 40 years, they always take separate vacations. He takes multiple fishing trips a year, she goes on cruises and vacations with her sisters. Most of their trips are without the other. My mother and step father have been married 30 years- they take trips without each other all the time. I just booked my step father a plane ticket to Vegas to visit his brother. My mom visits me solo and takes trips with her friends and with my sisters. Ditto my grandparents who were married 50 years... And back in the day, no one talked to each other during their work day. Growing up in my family... it was the norm for the men to go off on hunting/fishing/whatever trips. The women went on shopping weekends or beach trips etc. and everyone in my extended family is still married to the same spouse they had 30+ years ago. It sounds like your family is descended from the Inuit people. You know how those eskimos love their beach vacations.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 27, 2013 18:07:48 GMT -5
Best post you've made in this thread!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 1, 2013 13:02:43 GMT -5
We have my aunt with us in Kauai right now. Uncle is home taking care of the dogs and chickens. They don't vacation together because someone has to take care of critters. DF and I can vacation together because his secretary cares for our critters but only because they are cats. No one wants to care for dogs. I won't either for friends or family. My mom used to get a house sitter but that was an extra 100 a day on top of vacation. Dog boarding was the same price!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 13:56:28 GMT -5
I don't see a probelm with an occassional separate weekend trip... but to me, "vacation" is a decent chunk of time away... and if I'm married to someone that I don't want to vacation with and I don't want to touch base with during the work day (either e-mail or text and an occassional rare phone call), then I'd rather not be married to that person, to be honest. I don't think anyone said they don't want to vacation with their spouse (I could be wrong though). I like vacationing with my spouse. We've been together since 2007 and have gone on at least 6 trips that were a week or two long in the past 5 years, out west camping a couple times, Puerto Rico, Hawaii twice, up to the North Shore of Lake Superior several times... But, he's also gone on several fishing/kayaking trips without me and I've gone on a few trips with my Mom/Aunt without him.
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