thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 14, 2012 11:40:48 GMT -5
I met a lady 2 months ago that went back to work after 3 weeks. I was friggin' amazed! For every person who says something can't[/i] be done - there is a person who does it. I, personally, wouldn't count on being back at work 2 weeks later - but I could envision several situations where I could have worked at least part-time after 2 weeks. Those farm women were up the next day milking the cow. We could likely be tougher than we realize. Who knows.
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spartan7886
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Post by spartan7886 on Nov 14, 2012 11:42:26 GMT -5
I have to wonder if that is legal under FMLA (assuming they are large enough to have to follow FMLA, if not company policy is company policy). To my knowledge, it is legal under FMLA. My company, one of the largest in the world, has the same policy.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 14, 2012 11:44:04 GMT -5
DH only took off three. He's fully entitled to FMLA but they tried to argue he could only take it if he had to be home to care for me medically.
He started the process of fighting it but they made it understood that they were going to make his life a living hell if he continued.
Of course they are smart enough not to outright say it so if DH tried to claim anything they could deny it.
We decided it wasn't worth it so he only took three weeks because that's how much vacation time he had banked. I am still fuming over it because legally he was entitled to all 12 weeks of leave for the birth of his kid.
It's not right that employers can make it a pain for dad's to exercise their rights to leave.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Nov 14, 2012 11:54:42 GMT -5
FMLA allows 12 weeks total for the same event, and it can be split by the parents. I think that clause only comes into play if they work for the same employer. I know here, if you are both working for the company, then you can only take 12 weeks between the two of you. And if you both take off at the same time (like the first two weeks), it counts for each of you (so four weeks would be used up).
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milee
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Post by milee on Nov 14, 2012 12:00:22 GMT -5
I hope Milee checks in again so that I can borrow her flame-retardant suit ;D or at least see if she has an extra one. I'm glad to loan you the flame-retardant suit. It's red, shiny and (if I may say so myself) very flattering.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 12:19:51 GMT -5
I think everyone is different. We had one girl at my old firm who started 3 weeks after delivering...it was literally her first day at the firm and HR had a fit when tehy found out. Apparently she had to get a doctor's note because it was less than 4 weeks after delivery...I can't remember if she had a c-section or not.
I will be honest, the LAST thing I wanted to do when I had a baby was go to work. Everyone is different but I could not imagine leaving my infant, who was only a few weeks old. Then again, I was fortunate that money wasn't an issue and I didn't ahve to work. Other women are different and can easily go back to work. No one will know how they will feel until they have children.
Also, what the hell is with women constantly bashing one another for their choices?? FFS, if someone wants or needs to go back to work why would anyone else care? I remember hating those stupid message boards for pregnant women because damn...women are catty, judgmental bitches towards each other. And I know judgmental bitchy :-p
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2012 12:22:06 GMT -5
Hey, thanx, milee! Can I just reserve it in case I need it again? Seems that nobody wants to flame you after all, so they won't flame me, either. And actually, my words for The Poster in Question have been said by others. And very well said, indeed
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 14, 2012 12:22:22 GMT -5
I talked to my mom last night - good news is my cousin apparently took on a lot of extra appointments in the last month so they should be able to afford a longer maternity leave. Bad news is the doctor doesn't expect her to deliver until the weekend after Thanksgiving. Eek!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2012 12:23:55 GMT -5
I think everyone is different. We had one girl at my old firm who started 3 weeks after delivering...it was literally her first day at the firm and HR had a fit when tehy found out. Apparently she had to get a doctor's note because it was less than 4 weeks after delivery...I can't remember if she had a c-section or not. I will be honest, the LAST thing I wanted to do when I had a baby was go to work. Everyone is different but I could not imagine leaving my infant, who was only a few weeks old. Then again, I was fortunate that money wasn't an issue and I didn't ahve to work. Other women are different and can easily go back to work. No one will know how they will feel until they have children. Also, what the hell is with women constantly bashing one another for their choices?? FFS, if someone wants or needs to go back to work why would anyone else care? I remember hating those stupid message boards for pregnant women because damn...women are catty, judgmental bitches towards each other. And I know judgmental bitchy :-p And how! ;D
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 14, 2012 12:32:48 GMT -5
Bad news is the doctor doesn't expect her to deliver until the weekend after Thanksgiving. Eek!
Average gestation for a first time mom is 41w 1d. Doctors really do not know when you are going to go into labor or not. They may have a guess, but it is just a guess.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 14, 2012 12:32:52 GMT -5
I stopped working when I was about 5 mo pregnant with my 1st (kind of by choice, kind of not). Physically, I could have worked until the day I delivered. Now, afterwards?? whole other story. The kid didn't sleep for more than 40 minutes at a time, day or night for the first 3-4 months!!! No way in HELL could I have gone back to work, I was a walking zombie who could barely wipe my ass, much less do financial statements and budgets for a Fortune 500 company.
According to my mom I was a perfect baby who slept through the night from day 1, was nice and quite (yeah, that obviously changed), so if I had a kid like that and wasn't sleep deprived, I could have gone back to work, bc physically I was fine 2-3 wks after giving birth.
Lena
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2012 12:32:53 GMT -5
And I know judgmental bitchy :-p And how! ;D Neither of you knows judgmental bitchy as well as the poster who actually wrote the book on this and every other subject ever brought up on PB or on any subject not brought up yet. How about a little humility, you two
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 14, 2012 12:36:39 GMT -5
Oh if by any VERY VERY VERY VERY!!! slight chance we have another kid - my DH's company gives them 2 wks paternity leave that's not part of any other PTO, etc so it would be/could be much easier on me.
Lena
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 14, 2012 12:39:20 GMT -5
Hopefully it's sooner... I think she was really expecting to deliver yesterday or today. Lena, my mom says I was the same way as a baby - slept through the night, never cried - so hopefully I'll get lucky there. My brother was also a very mellow baby, but my sister more than made up for both of us
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 14, 2012 12:41:38 GMT -5
Average gestation for a first time mom is 41w 1d. Doctors really do not know when you are going to go into labor or not. They may have a guess, but it is just a guess Everyone kept telling me I'd go over 40 weeks since I was a first time mom. She showed up a week early, I guess she did not get the memo. I'm all right with that though, I would have gone insane if I'd had to be pregnant another two weeks.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 14, 2012 12:42:27 GMT -5
Mid, good luck to you Despite my age, my body handled all 3 pregnancies perfectly, it's the sleep depredation after that I had/have hard time handling. I am not one of these people who can handle no sleep Lena
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 14, 2012 12:43:07 GMT -5
Other women are different and MUST go back to work - even if they don't find it easy to do so. To imply that women who MUST work "feel" differently about their children is rude. Maybe I did "feel" differently about my kids because I was the only income in my house when both my kids were born - so there was not a single day of my pregnancy that I had the luxury to think about staying home with them. But to imply that you would be devasted, but I was thrilled to drop that kid off and run to work - rude.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Nov 14, 2012 12:51:38 GMT -5
I met a lady 2 months ago that went back to work after 3 weeks. I was friggin' amazed! For every person who says something can't[/i] be done - there is a person who does it. I, personally, wouldn't count on being back at work 2 weeks later - but I could envision several situations where I could have worked at least part-time after 2 weeks. Those farm women were up the next day milking the cow. We could likely be tougher than we realize. Who knows.[/quote] Yes, there will always be someone who can do something. But not everyone has the same capabilities and just because you can do something it doesn't necessairly mean you should. Most of us get forgetful, moody and downright mean when we are overtired.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 14, 2012 12:54:22 GMT -5
Other women are different and MUST go back to work - even if they don't find it easy to do so. To imply that women who MUST work "feel" differently about their children is rude. Maybe I did "feel" differently about my kids because I was the only income in my house when both my kids were born - so there was not a single day of my pregnancy that I had the luxury to think about staying home with them. But to imply that you would be devasted, but I was thrilled to drop that kid off and run to work - rude. I basically went into it knowing i had to go back early. Now if I'd had complications, that would have changed things and we would have made it work, but I knew from the moment I got pregnant I would be heading back to work early. BUt I also wasn't the primary caregiver to my newborn. DH and I split it pretty much 50/50 even though I was breastfeeding. Once I went back to work it was more like 25% me and 75% DH. As soon as I got home from work, I was on 100% baby duty until I went to bed between 9 and 10. I coslept for a couple months and those months I did 100% night time baby duty. Once DS moved to the crib, then DH took over baby duty from 10pm to 2am. Then I was on from 2am until 6am. Was it ideal on any front? No, but we made it work. If you have to, you make it work. You may not be the most productive employee, but sometimes facetime really matters. Also, I started back part time. That was helpful to transition and not to suddenly be thrown into a new routine.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:15:46 GMT -5
Other women are different and MUST go back to work - even if they don't find it easy to do so. To imply that women who MUST work "feel" differently about their children is rude. Maybe I did "feel" differently about my kids because I was the only income in my house when both my kids were born - so there was not a single day of my pregnancy that I had the luxury to think about staying home with them. But to imply that you would be devasted, but I was thrilled to drop that kid off and run to work - rude. Way to post only HALF of what I said....you left off this : Also, what the hell is with women constantly bashing one another for their choices?? FFS, if someone wants or needs to go back to work why would anyone else care?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:22:04 GMT -5
I think everyone is different. We had one girl at my old firm who started 3 weeks after delivering...it was literally her first day at the firm and HR had a fit when tehy found out. Apparently she had to get a doctor's note because it was less than 4 weeks after delivery...I can't remember if she had a c-section or not. I will be honest, the LAST thing I wanted to do when I had a baby was go to work. Everyone is different but I could not imagine leaving my infant, who was only a few weeks old. Then again, I was fortunate that money wasn't an issue and I didn't ahve to work. Other women are different and can easily go back to work. No one will know how they will feel until they have children. Also, what the hell is with women constantly bashing one another for their choices?? FFS, if someone wants or needs to go back to work why would anyone else care? I remember hating those stupid message boards for pregnant women because damn...women are catty, judgmental bitches towards each other. And I know judgmental bitchy :-p And how! ;D LMAO!!!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 14, 2012 13:22:53 GMT -5
Yes - I saw that too, and I thought it was a strange contradiction that you basically judged women who went back to work for not "feeling" like they wanted to be with their babies, and then turned around and lambasted people for judging other people's choices. So, I guess technically, you just judged people's feelings - but not their choices.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:30:32 GMT -5
Yes - I saw that too, and I thought it was a strange contradiction that you basically judged women who went back to work for not "feeling" like they wanted to be with their babies, and then turned around and lambasted people for judging other people's choices. So, I guess technically, you just judged people's feelings - but not their choices. Huh?? Me thinks you are quite touchy over this WOHM vs. SAHM thing...I have no idea how I was judging anyone. I said I felt when my kids were babies but that not all women felt the same. FFS, there are plenty of women on here who say they never would have wanted to stay home when their babies were little...hence, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! For the record, I also breastfed because I felt it was best for my children...does that mean I am judging all of the bottlefeeders out there?? Oh, and I would have circumcized my son if I had a boy because that is what I thought was best...I guess I am judging anyone that didn't. I also used Pampers...you cloth diaper folks just suck
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 14, 2012 13:31:44 GMT -5
You said that going back to work was a matter of how a mother felt about her child.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 14, 2012 13:32:44 GMT -5
The thing is that when you are in the situation where you do have to imagine it, when you know you aren't going to be able to take a long maternity leave, you do imagine it and you get yourself mentally prepared. Everyone who says they would not have been able to do it was never put in the situation where they had to. It doesn't mean that it is a good idea or should be the norm, but in most cases it isn't the impossibility that other women make it out to be.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:40:35 GMT -5
The thing is that when you are in the situation where you do have to imagine it, when you know you aren't going to be able to take a long maternity leave, you do imagine it and you get yourself mentally prepared. Everyone who says they would not have been able to do it was never put in the situation where they had to. It doesn't mean that it is a good idea or should be the norm, but in most cases it isn't the impossibility that other women make it out to be. And in my next sentence (the one after you bolded) I said "then again, money wasn't an issue and I didn't have to work. I'm a conservative and all about personal responsibility. If I had to work, I would have. I didn't have to so I didn't go back for a year. On the flip side, I worked with a lot of professional women who went back to work, not because they needed the money but because they didn't want to lose footing in their careers. Those were actually the women to whom I was referring. They did feel differently than me because they didn't HAVE to work, they wanted to. I'm really laughing here...I spend half my time going overboard with my judgmental bitchiness because I'm bored...this time I was trying to be supportive of ALL mothers and I'm somehow pissing everyone off....do I still get troll credit if I didn't actually MEAN to piss everyone off????lol
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:41:52 GMT -5
You said that going back to work was a matter of how a mother felt about her child. Clearly you hate your children and are mad at me for pointing that out...don't shoot the messenger
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 14, 2012 13:43:13 GMT -5
Seriously? I don't know why someone would purposely try to piss people off and/or hurt their feelings. I guess I've never been that bored.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 14, 2012 13:43:46 GMT -5
do I still get troll credit if I didn't actually MEAN to piss everyone off????lol My theory is that you can't make everyone happy, but you can sure as heck piss them all off. Makes life sooo much more entertaining.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 14, 2012 13:44:25 GMT -5
Seriously? I don't know why someone would purposely try to piss people off and/or hurt their feelings. I guess I've never been that bored. If someone is that sensitive that they can get their feelings hurt by random itnernet posters, me thinks they don't belong on YM
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