hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Nov 5, 2012 17:14:10 GMT -5
Zib why are you engaged if you don't want to marry? I never want to be married is why I have a ISO not DF or DH or even a SO. Why is any male on the planet engaged? It's not like we want to be married. We do it because the alternative of actually being "single" is less attractive. BTW, I agree you're not single if you have a BF, GF, DF, etc. Single is not being in a relationship.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 5, 2012 17:15:23 GMT -5
DF needs commitment. I'm realistic to know a piece of paper or a ring doesn't mean jack to a lot of people.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Nov 5, 2012 17:57:57 GMT -5
Yes I do... My ex-bf cheated and I ended up dumping him after a lot of crap. I kind of needed the break from dating, but now they break has been way too damn long. I get asked "how the hell are you still single" from a lot of guys at work, but no one wants me (Well, a coworker or two does, but one just as a f***-buddy and another one wants me as a GF. But I don't want to date coworkers *sigh*)
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 18:13:26 GMT -5
Yes I do...My ex-bf cheated and I ended up dumping him after a lot of crap. I kind of needed the break from dating, but now they break has been way too damn long. I get asked "how the hell are you still single" from a lot of guys at work, but no one wants me (Well, a coworker or two does, but one just as a f***-buddy and another one wants me as a GF. But I don't want to date coworkers *sigh*) LOL!!! <<puts on YM hat>> Quit! Move! Change jobs! I'd date you! ;D
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 18:15:57 GMT -5
NO NO NO, you're doing it wrong.
If it floats, flies, or fornicates, rent it. It's cheaper in the long run.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 18:17:28 GMT -5
I thought that's what dating was - renting!
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Nov 5, 2012 18:21:42 GMT -5
"I think the same thing about single people as I do the married people both with or without kids. Some are great and some are jerks and they all have pretty much the same choices we all have. If they are unhappy or lonely or whatever... it's on them to change things."
Yes and no. Just because you put yourself out there and make an attempt to meet people and woo them doesn't mean they'll accept you. That's my experience (many times over). So I go through the effort, put myself out there, be nice, smile, try to start interesting coversations, pay for first dates, and then they just tell you they aren't interested (if they even tell you anything at all and just don't stop talking to you, which is more often the case."
So really, for whatever reason (that I can't figure out), I'm not acceptable as a mate at this point in my life, at least to the types of people I'd want to be with. So dating is a waste of time and money. Maybe things will change someday, who knows. That's why I coined the term "discouraged dater."
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 18:21:58 GMT -5
There ya go then, move to Vegas. Problem solved.
*pushes button*
Loudspeaker voice: Now serving B64 at window 13.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 18:34:08 GMT -5
"I think the same thing about single people as I do the married people both with or without kids. Some are great and some are jerks and they all have pretty much the same choices we all have. If they are unhappy or lonely or whatever... it's on them to change things." Yes and no. Just because you put yourself out there and make an attempt to meet people and woo them doesn't mean they'll accept you. That's my experience (many times over). So I go through the effort, put myself out there, be nice, smile, try to start interesting coversations, pay for first dates, and then they just tell you they aren't interested (if they even tell you anything at all and just don't stop talking to you, which is more often the case." So really, for whatever reason (that I can't figure out), I'm not acceptable as a mate at this point in my life, at least to the types of people I'd want to be with. So dating is a waste of time and money. Maybe things will change someday, who knows. That's why I coined the term "discouraged dater." I've read where you've said this before and it makes me sad. But I will still say that it's up to you to change to fix that. If I knew you in real life I'd help you with what I would think could be problems in that area for you. Do you have somebody you trust to give you honest feedback? Or it could be your taste in women? I'd be your wing(wo)man to help you find sombody!
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 18:42:09 GMT -5
Well, there goes our free drinks. I was going to have you be the date.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 19:06:46 GMT -5
Ladies, baby steps. We're talking about a young single guy. He doesn't need to be devoured by a cougar right now. Surely somebody knows a nice young girl with daddy issues in his area that he can use to get back on the horse as it were?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 19:08:23 GMT -5
Ladies, baby steps. We're talking about a young single guy. He doesn't need to be devoured by a cougar right now. Surely somebody knows a nice young girl with daddy issues in his area that he can use to get back on the horse as it were? So YOU want to be the date?
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 5, 2012 19:10:53 GMT -5
Ladies, baby steps. We're talking about a young single guy. He doesn't need to be devoured by a cougar right now. Surely somebody knows a nice young girl with daddy issues in his area that he can use to get back on the horse as it were? Ha! Oh come on I'm sure MM and POM are harmless.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 19:13:03 GMT -5
Ladies, baby steps. We're talking about a young single guy. He doesn't need to be devoured by a cougar right now. Surely somebody knows a nice young girl with daddy issues in his area that he can use to get back on the horse as it were? Ha! Oh come on I'm sure MM and POM are harmless. Exactly! No booze would be harmed on this date. wvu - how do you feel about your daddy?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 19:15:09 GMT -5
Uh huh. They both flirt with me. Think about it. Let's just say that I wouldn't be surprised if either of them liked to (((censored to protect the minds of any innocent folks that may be reading this))) while the other one videotaped it.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 19:17:49 GMT -5
And you asked me to (((censored to protect the minds of any innocent folks that may be reading this))) !!
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 5, 2012 19:18:18 GMT -5
I guess it depends on the single person. I do feel sympathy for everyone who is single and would rather be paired up. I have a couple of friends who have been single for long periods of time- it's frustrating and no one likes being rejected, let alone repeatedly. It can be even harder for guys, who in current culture generally are the ones in the position of being in pursuit.
I honestly hope not to be single ever again, unless I stop wanting a romantic relationship. Not because it sucks to be single, or there's anything pathetic about single people, but because dating seems hellish for those of my friends who don't automatically pair up once they're on the market. If I were single and wanted a relationship, a year of fruitless first dates would be far too much of an emotional roller coaster to deal with.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 5, 2012 19:18:28 GMT -5
I seriously will... I'm not sure where you are in Colorado, but my brother is about to move to the Denver area. I foresee many trips out there in my future. I will totally be your wing-woman! ;D
My brother is also 'romantically challenged'... he's a great guy, and cute, and I think would make a wonderful catch, but hasn't dated much and definitely hasn't found the one. I don't think the girls his age are ready to settle down, honestly (he's 22). Phoenix, I think this might apply in your case even though you're closer to my age. The guys girls want to date casually are not the guys they settle down with, and I think a lot of women in our generation aren't starting to until their thirties...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2012 19:22:16 GMT -5
Hey.. you asked for that videotape!!!! videotape???Don't listen to them Phoenix - clearly none of them has been out on a date since 1994. Listen to Mid, she's got good advice.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Nov 5, 2012 19:23:42 GMT -5
Let's see . . .
I've been happily single, unhappily married, happily single again, and now happily married. . .
I don't really judge someone based on their marital status . . . but if someone is consistently unhappy with their marital status, they can become a downer . . .
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 5, 2012 19:25:40 GMT -5
Hey.. you asked for that videotape!!!! videotape???Don't listen to them Phoenix - clearly none of them has been out on a date since 1994. Listen to Mid, she's got good advice. LOL! You realize she quoted me about being the wing (wo)man, don't you. ;D Mid PM me if you need some help.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 5, 2012 19:27:31 GMT -5
Indeed.
Twice actually, though I could barely walk for two days afterward.
But I'm a freak. That's my point. Phoenix isn't ready for something like that.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 5, 2012 19:48:31 GMT -5
Ha! Oh come on I'm sure MM and POM are harmless. Exactly! No booze would be harmed on this date. wvu - how do you feel about your daddy? I don't have daddy issues Dark you asked for it. They'll be much gentler with Phoenix. After all they won't break the new toy first thing.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Nov 5, 2012 20:14:14 GMT -5
"I seriously will... I'm not sure where you are in Colorado, but my brother is about to move to the Denver area. I foresee many trips out there in my future. I will totally be your wing-woman!"
Yes, I do live in the Denver area. It's kind of ironic. Your brother moves out here from Indiana and so did I.
It would be nice to get some criteqing done.... I was actually considering on PM'ing you to arrange to meet when i'm visiting my folks in Indiana over the holidays.
"My brother is also 'romantically challenged'... he's a great guy, and cute, and I think would make a wonderful catch, but hasn't dated much and definitely hasn't found the one. I don't think the girls his age are ready to settle down, honestly (he's 22). Phoenix, I think this might apply in your case even though you're closer to my age. The guys girls want to date casually are not the guys they settle down with, and I think a lot of women in our generation aren't starting to until their thirties..."
That sums up much of my best assessment. My best assessment (though I admit I could totally be off base) is that first, I think most women my age (and women younger than me, which let's face it most women want to date guys older than them) are looking more for the fun and charming guy than the stable guy to settle down with. Not that I can't be fun or charming, but I'm not a people person. I'm not the type who will work a crowd or be the center of attention. I'm more the strong silent, quiet, thoughtful type.
That's all I can think of. Otherwise I got my shit together and I'm responsible. I don't have any addictions nor am I abusive. I think I'm decent looking.
Anyway, didn't mean to hijack my own thread.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 5, 2012 20:42:52 GMT -5
Well I would have been in Denver last summer but some clowns at GSA resulted in my training being scrapped It seems like you are finding girls who just want a good time. I'm one to talk but it seems like getting some hobbies/activities might be a better way to meet someone. And while I realize its not helping you, sometimes it takes some girls a long time to realize that stable and not the life of the party can be a good thing. I'm completely against it but a lot of people in my office met their spouse at work. My cousin did too but it just seems too risky to me if things go badly.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Nov 5, 2012 22:52:14 GMT -5
Thanks for making me laugh guys Phoenix--don't be afraid to flirt a little too (not the over the top kind, but smile, joke a little, etc.), even at the "boring" places like grocery store (seriously, I can get the flirting going sometimes and really wish a guy had shown more interest, or I had been brave enough to ask if they were single). There are a lot of girls who dig the strong, silent type--a lot of times they are just a little quiet, maybe shy, themselves.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2012 8:51:27 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure renting something that fornicates is illegal.. except in Vegas... Even in Vegas. The irony there is prostitution is illegal in Clark county which includes "What stays in Vegas". You have to go north to find the legal wild wild west.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 6, 2012 9:08:53 GMT -5
I honestly couldn't tell you if most of the people I work with are married or not. I don't really have an opinion one way or another on single people anymore than I do married people, except for one group - the desperate single female. (I haven't met a desperate single male, although there probably are some). I've known a few of these women and they obsess. Why am I single, what's wrong with me, what's wrong with men, did that guy at the grocery flirt with me or was he just looking at the cheese, is the guy in accounting checking out my legs or is he really gay like the rumour mill says, why did my last boyfriend me, look at these guy on Match.com and tell me which ones you think I should talk to, tell me what kind of car I should buy that would be a magnet for guys, do you think guys would like black trim or chrome trip on that car best, do you think it's too early to ask the newly divorced guy at my church out on a date, I met this guy at my high school reunion dinner who currently has a live in girlfriend but he wants to go out with me do you think I should do that ..... they just totally wear me out.
I wish those women would enjoy being single. I wish they would take a pottery class or an archery class and relax, and just talk to guys they meet like they're human beings, rather than sizing every man up for his potential as a mate.
Certainly if Mr Cheap dumped me I would stay single until I kicked the bucket - I'm too old now to try to adjust to another human being in the house. I could eat what I wanted, watch what I want to watch on TV, decorate the house how I want it, and I would never have to hear another football or basketball game again in my life. ;D
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Nov 6, 2012 12:33:15 GMT -5
Phoenix, I will also be in Indiana over the holidays, not far from Mid. Mid - you know the makeover montages in 80s movies? Let's do that!!! Scarves flying everywhere!!!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 6, 2012 14:17:51 GMT -5
(I haven't met a desperate single male, although there probably are some)
Oh yeah.....they're out there and I have had the unfortunate idea to date them on occasion.
Every single one of them, I decided that I preferred being with no one rather than with them. They can be as scary and obsessive as females!
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