swamp
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Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 2, 2011 19:13:42 GMT -5
4 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Must stay together. Mixed breed, dark hair, light eyes, large frames, good teeth, parents on premises. House trained. Call Swamp. I will deliver.
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Empire the P.A.
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Post by Empire the P.A. on Feb 2, 2011 19:15:32 GMT -5
Oh no, how bad can two little kiddies be? They have to be the sweetest things.
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The J
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Post by The J on Feb 2, 2011 19:17:26 GMT -5
4 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Must stay together. Mixed breed, dark hair, light eyes, large frames, good teeth, parents on premises. House trained. Call Swamp. I will deliver. You wouldn't think this way if you were a SAHM. <<ducks and pulls out the >>
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 2, 2011 19:19:30 GMT -5
4 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Must stay together. Mixed breed, dark hair, light eyes, large frames, good teeth, parents on premises. House trained. Call Swamp. I will deliver. You wouldn't think this way if you were a SAHM. Alas, I'm not a real woman. <<ducks and pulls out the >>
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 2, 2011 19:25:34 GMT -5
We only accept kids that speak Urdu.
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swamp
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Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 2, 2011 19:27:34 GMT -5
Sorry IHOP, english and the little bit of Spanish they picked up from Dora and Diego.
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Malarky
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Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 19:27:39 GMT -5
Malarky Swamp. My DD is 13 and DS is 16. Those were the easy days. Yes, you are being tested. And yes, you are passing the tests and posting here with humor, instead of smiting the snot out of the little heathens. It never really becomes easier, it just becomes more interesting. And rewarding. Right now, nobody knows more than you. No one is smarter, prettier, stronger, or more important. It doesn't last. I've become lame and irrelevant. Enjoy it now, even when it makes you want to rip your hair out.
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Malarky
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Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 19:31:00 GMT -5
And seriously, they aren't free. They cost a shitload in upkeep.
I have two cats that came into this family as "free'... You ain't foolin me again.
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 2, 2011 19:33:24 GMT -5
Aww, thanks Malarky.
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Jake 48
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keeping the faith
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Post by Jake 48 on Feb 2, 2011 19:35:30 GMT -5
Swamp, enjoy them, when they become teenagers they will know everything and they will tell you they know everything and that you are clueless. Hang in there!!!
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ihearyou2
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I smell better then I look
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 2, 2011 19:35:49 GMT -5
Sorry IHOP, english and the little bit of Spanish they picked up from Dora and Diego. Its so difficult getting kids that speak Urdu in LA, I'm just about ready to give up and simply accept Zulu.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
Administrator
Rest in Peace
Only Bites Whiners
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Feb 2, 2011 19:36:31 GMT -5
Trust me, you don't want to send them to me. Unless you really want them to spend years in therapy.
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy on Feb 2, 2011 19:36:59 GMT -5
You don't appear to be human until your offspring hit 40. Damn long time to be considered an evil necessity. ;D
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Malarky
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Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 19:40:45 GMT -5
DD is in the kitchen now. Cooking dinner. Wasting incredible amounts of water. I know, because it just keeps running and running and running and at some point the bill will come in and I will pay it. And I will be grateful because she lost a bunch of privileges because her grades suck and she has time as well as the intelligence, but not the inclination to do better. And instead of sulking and being miserable, she said since I have so much free time, can I learn to cook. Kids are an amazing, aggravating, wonderful reflection of all the things we do, good and bad.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Feb 2, 2011 19:41:19 GMT -5
If you were giving away a 30+ yr old son, I might give your offer "some" consideration if he were house trained, but even then I'd wonder why he's still living at home.....
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ihearyou2
Well-Known Member
I smell better then I look
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:05:34 GMT -5
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Post by ihearyou2 on Feb 2, 2011 19:43:01 GMT -5
DD is in the kitchen now. Cooking dinner. Wasting incredible amounts of water. I know, because it just keeps running and running and running and at some point the bill will come in and I will pay it. And I will be grateful because she lost a bunch of privileges because her grades suck and she has time as well as the intelligence, but not the inclination to do better. And instead of sulking and being miserable, she said since I have so much free time, can I learn to cook. Kids are an amazing, aggravating, wonderful reflection of all the things we do, good and bad. Malarky your insight makes me want you....
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The J
Senior Member
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Post by The J on Feb 2, 2011 19:46:27 GMT -5
Malarky your insight breathing makes me want you.... Fixed
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Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Feb 2, 2011 19:48:30 GMT -5
apple malarky and swamp too! I tell my 13 year-old (only child, thank God for small miracles, my sister had the twins and I did not know that antibiotics could render BC pills useless, I consider myself lucky ) that I should have sold him when he was two and cute. He knows I love him but man, there are days where spending a few years in prison for attempted murder (albeit weakly attempted) doesn't look half bad (and it really is just my humor, I think it's a sad event when parents actually DO or attempt to do the unthinkable )
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 19:51:44 GMT -5
IHOP, As I mentioned earlier, I find you strangely creepy/compelling... ETA: That came across as harsh.. I meant it in a much less bitchy way...
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 2, 2011 19:53:36 GMT -5
This is so darn funny!!!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 2, 2011 19:54:37 GMT -5
Malarky Swamp. My DD is 13 and DS is 16. Those were the easy days. Yes, you are being tested. And yes, you are passing the tests and posting here with humor, instead of smiting the snot out of the little heathens. It never really becomes easier, it just becomes more interesting. And rewarding. Right now, nobody knows more than you. No one is smarter, prettier, stronger, or more important. It doesn't last. I've become lame and irrelevant. Enjoy it now, even when it makes you want to rip your hair out. LOL, this is so true...I used to be a queen in my oldest's eyes....mommy knew everything...now I'm old, out of date and lame...and she's only 12!
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 2, 2011 19:55:22 GMT -5
You don't appear to be human until your offspring hit 40. Damn long time to be considered an evil necessity. ;D Do you realize that will make me almost 80?! It will be just in time for them to start changing my diapers.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 2, 2011 19:55:46 GMT -5
Dora and Diego are actually tolerable in comparison to Fairly Odd Parents, FanBoy and ChumChum and iCarly. Aww, I like iCarly....much better than that purple freak Barnie or the Wiggles (are they even still around???)...I HATED those years
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973beachbum
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Politics Admin
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Post by 973beachbum on Feb 2, 2011 20:15:41 GMT -5
I will trade you your two for my two. I have an 15 year old mixed breed girl. She is also completely house broken. He is a 7 year old mixed breed boy who is mostly house broken. He is a boy! He is extremely smart and thinks he is going to be the next Jerry Seinfeld. She is a very smart underachiever in school who insists she is going to be a bestselling writer of vampire books.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 2, 2011 20:18:56 GMT -5
Thank GOD it isn't just me with the strange offspring.
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Post by ummboutthat on Feb 2, 2011 20:23:47 GMT -5
WAIT...we are talk'n bout cats right? well....if not I can use some day laborers....
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Malarky
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Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 20:33:00 GMT -5
Hampton, Did I mention my incredibly lazy, yet curiously strong 16 YO who shovels, teaches karate and needs to get out of my line of sight? Love him to death, causes no trouble, but seriously needs to go work for someone else. Bonus pay to the one who figures out how to motivate him.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
Administrator
Rest in Peace
Only Bites Whiners
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Feb 2, 2011 20:33:30 GMT -5
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
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Post by Malarky on Feb 2, 2011 20:44:57 GMT -5
Oh Mad Dawg, Anyone who has one, knows that's a really bad deal....
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jan
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Post by jan on Feb 2, 2011 21:05:09 GMT -5
4 year old boy and 3 year old girl. Must stay together. Mixed breed, dark hair, light eyes, large frames, good teeth, parents on premises. House trained. Call Swamp. I will deliver. Ummm, no, but I'll give you a 28 YOM and and 25 YOF for free.
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