swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 30, 2012 9:40:18 GMT -5
Do you have any? I was watching a movie last night and a particular situation in the movie reminded me of the fear that I used to have when my kids were very young. My worst fear was: I am alone at home with my two babies, none of who are verbal yet, and I die suddenly. So there I am dead on the floor with both my kids crying over me but not understanding what has happened. Days pass before I am discovered and by then the kids are half dead because of starvation and no care. Don't ask me why I had that fear. Don't even ask me why DH is nowhere in the picture.  I don't even remember when,how or why I got that fear. I just know that I did and I was scared shitless of that happening. Thank God my kids are older (and verbal!  ) now. So now I have this intense fear of something happening to me and DH and my kids ending up in orphanages! (I think I read too much of a certain YM poster's posts!! ) I feel a cold dread before I deliberately push the thought out of my mind. DH tells me that I am thinking too much. He is sure that our parents and siblings will take the kids in a heartbeat. I am sure of that too but I still have the fear. Chances of something like this happening, when my kids have absolutely NOONE in the world who would take them is so slim, but the mother in me still worries about it.  |
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 30, 2012 9:44:42 GMT -5
Total Locked-in syndrome.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Oct 30, 2012 9:52:14 GMT -5
I have nightmares about not being able to take care of myself. Like being injured...or sick. The thought of being helpless scares the crap out of me.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 30, 2012 9:58:42 GMT -5
Losing my daughter... I'd take anything over that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 30, 2012 9:59:26 GMT -5
I have fears of being incapacitated and not able to do myself in. I don't want to live like that EVER.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 30, 2012 10:02:52 GMT -5
I have fears of being incapacitated and not able to do myself in. I don't want to live like that EVER. I agree. Which is why I fear Total Locked-in syndrome. |
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Oct 30, 2012 10:07:19 GMT -5
My fear of failure/embarrassment is pretty strong, and probably my primary motivator for anything I've accomplished career-wise.
DH's dad had a heart attack at 44, I worry about DH dying young. I try to tell myself that FIL had a lot more risk factors (extremely bad diet, heavy smoker) and is still kicking at 52 (despite still eating a pound of bacon and smoking a pack of cigs each day) so DH should be OK, but it is still a concern. Forty-four seems younger to me each year.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Oct 30, 2012 10:09:14 GMT -5
I also have had a strong fear of home invasions ever since I started following that story about the man who lost his wife and two daughters to a couple of home invading evil crapfaces. My home is a fortress.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 30, 2012 10:10:39 GMT -5
Something in the water eating me (sharks or alligators).
Going insane, getting dementia or not being able to care for myself.
Doing something that directly causes (even if it was unintentional) harm to one of my kids.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Oct 30, 2012 10:17:33 GMT -5
My fear of failure/embarrassment is pretty strong, and probably my primary motivator for anything I've accomplished career-wise. DH's dad had a heart attack at 44, I worry about DH dying young. I try to tell myself that FIL had a lot more risk factors (extremely bad diet, heavy smoker) and is still kicking at 52 (despite still eating a pound of bacon and smoking a pack of cigs each day) so DH should be OK, but it is still a concern. Forty-four seems younger to me each year. Mid - I had this problem too! My (WWII veteran, case of undiagnosed PTSD) father dropped dead (literally) of a heart attack at 52. My male sibs worried about dying at the same age! Me, I worried about hubby dropping dead on my at that age. Isn't it strange what trama/drama will do to your psyche? |
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 30, 2012 10:19:09 GMT -5
Something in the water eating me (sharks or alligators). Going insane, getting dementia or not being able to care for myself. Doing something that directly causes (even if it was unintentional) harm to one of my kids. My mom had Alzheimer's disease. There were a few moments of clarity where she understood her predicament and wanted to be euthanized. |
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 30, 2012 10:21:29 GMT -5
So now I have this intense fear of something happening to me and DH and my kids ending up in orphanages! (I think I read too much of a certain YM poster's posts!! ) I feel a cold dread before I deliberately push the thought out of my mind. DH tells me that I am thinking too much. He is sure that our parents and siblings will take the kids in a heartbeat. I am sure of that too but I still have the fear. Chances of something like this happening, when my kids have absolutely NOONE in the world who would take them is so slim, but the mother in me still worries about it. My boys are polar opposites in certain personality traits. One of them is generally happy, sunny, easy going and agreeable; he makes friends easily and everybody loves him. The other is more of a contrarian, very independent, doesn't have a huge need for close friends and can be a little unthinkingly abrasive like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. While I'm pretty sure the easygoing son would have people fighting over who got to adopt him, the other son would have a tougher go of it. I love him very, very much and understand that his personality isn't an attempt to be difficult, it's just who he is. Also, I think some of the things that make him a tough kid will help him be a very successful adult so it's easier for me to be patient with him. That being said, I think it would be harder for him to find a good home that would be as patient and loving with him as I am, so I do worry about that if I die. |
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 30, 2012 10:22:38 GMT -5
Something in the water eating me (sharks or alligators). Going insane, getting dementia or not being able to care for myself. Doing something that directly causes (even if it was unintentional) harm to one of my kids. My mom had Alzheimer's disease. There were a few moments of clarity where she understood her predicament and wanted to be euthanized. I'm with your mom. We have Alzheimer's in my family which is especially cruel given how long lived we tend to be, so I have some contingency plans so I don't have to live the last 10 years of my life confused, afraid and not recognizing my family. |
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 30, 2012 10:22:57 GMT -5
So now I have this intense fear of something happening to me and DH and my kids ending up in orphanages! (I think I read too much of a certain YM poster's posts!! ) I feel a cold dread before I deliberately push the thought out of my mind. DH tells me that I am thinking too much. He is sure that our parents and siblings will take the kids in a heartbeat. I am sure of that too but I still have the fear. Chances of something like this happening, when my kids have absolutely NOONE in the world who would take them is so slim, but the mother in me still worries about it. Do you think your will would be contested? There's ways to address that..our lawyer had a plan for us to follow if we wished. I'm actually convinced I'm going to go early. It's not a fear, but I don't think I have a very long life ahead of me anymore, |
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 30, 2012 10:26:15 GMT -5
So now I have this intense fear of something happening to me and DH and my kids ending up in orphanages! (I think I read too much of a certain YM poster's posts!! ) I feel a cold dread before I deliberately push the thought out of my mind. DH tells me that I am thinking too much. He is sure that our parents and siblings will take the kids in a heartbeat. I am sure of that too but I still have the fear. Chances of something like this happening, when my kids have absolutely NOONE in the world who would take them is so slim, but the mother in me still worries about it. I'm actually convinced I'm going to go early. It's not a fear, but I don't think I have a very long life ahead of me anymore, No, thats not what I meant. Both DH are I come from close knit families. So we are pretty sure that the person who we nominate in the will, will gladly take on the responsibility. If he/she is not around to do it, then our other siblings and/or parents will happily step up and do whatever is needed. |
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 30, 2012 10:26:51 GMT -5
That something happens to one of my kids. I read that article about the healthy boy dying during surgery after having complications of the flu, and started crying. My co-worker told me that her daughter was a run away, and I nearly had a panic attack. I watched "Snapped" where one girl stabbed another girl to death because they were dating the same boy and had to check on my sleeping daughter 3 times. We are heading to that danger zone age where so many things could happen.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Oct 30, 2012 10:27:20 GMT -5
My first thought when I saw the thread title was mice. I'm terrified of mice. Which leads to one of my other fears - the fear of going blind. There could be mice all around and I wouldn't know it if I was blind. (Sadly, I am not kidding).
Being totally paralyzed, but still having a functional active mind would also be pretty awful.
Finally, the thought of younger family members dying early is terrifying - but I don't think about it often.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 30, 2012 10:28:53 GMT -5
That something happens to one of my kids. I read that article about the healthy boy dying during surgery after having complications of the flu, and started crying. My co-worker told me that her daughter was a run away, and I nearly had a panic attack. I watched "Snapped" where one girl stabbed another girl to death because they were dating the same boy and had to check on my sleeping daughter 3 times. We are heading to that danger zone age where so many things could happen.  As if there is a shortage of boys in the world. WTF is happening in the world these days? |
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Oct 30, 2012 10:46:36 GMT -5
Having to choose between my kids. Like our house is on fire and I only have time to save one before it crashes to the ground. Or our car going over a bridge and only having time to rescue one before the car is buried under 100ft of water. Or, miraculously getting them both out of the car but then knowing I'm not strong enough to swim to shore with both of them hanging on me so I either let one go or we all drown. That stuff seriously fucks with my brain.  |
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 30, 2012 10:48:51 GMT -5
When DS was first born, I was paranoid about going over bridges in the car. I had a mental plan as to how to get him out of the car seat if the bridge collapsed and we went into the water. Secondary plan for if the dog was with us.
Now that he's older and staying on his own after school, I worry about not being able to get to him if there was a natural disaster.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 30, 2012 10:49:53 GMT -5
Having to choose between my kids. Like our house is on fire and I only have time to save one before it crashes to the ground. Or our car going over a bridge and only having time to rescue one before the car is buried under 100ft of water. Or, miraculously getting them both out of the car but then knowing I'm not strong enough to swim to shore with both of them hanging on me so I either let one go or we all drown. That stuff seriously fucks with my brain. OMG- you posted this while I was typing. I can't believe someone else had the bridge thing. |
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 30, 2012 10:54:16 GMT -5
Having to choose between my kids. Like our house is on fire and I only have time to save one before it crashes to the ground. Or our car going over a bridge and only having time to rescue one before the car is buried under 100ft of water. Or, miraculously getting them both out of the car but then knowing I'm not strong enough to swim to shore with both of them hanging on me so I either let one go or we all drown. That stuff seriously fucks with my brain. 'Sophie's Choice'. |
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Oct 30, 2012 10:58:42 GMT -5
Having to choose between my kids. Like our house is on fire and I only have time to save one before it crashes to the ground. Or our car going over a bridge and only having time to rescue one before the car is buried under 100ft of water. Or, miraculously getting them both out of the car but then knowing I'm not strong enough to swim to shore with both of them hanging on me so I either let one go or we all drown. That stuff seriously fucks with my brain. OMG- you posted this while I was typing. I can't believe someone else had the bridge thing. We live near a lot of bridges. I actually bought a thingie to go on my keyring that slices seatbelts and shatters windshields to buy us a few extra seconds if we were to go over one. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't actually make a difference, but the peace of mind was worth the $7. |
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 30, 2012 11:01:07 GMT -5
I got over my bridge thing once he was out of the carseat. DH used to just laugh at me. I'm just so happy I was not the only one to think like that.  |
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mandyms
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Post by mandyms on Oct 30, 2012 11:13:23 GMT -5
Real life fears: something happening to DD (molestation, kidnapping, etc), or myself (dying, vegetable, etc) before DD gets to an age that she can take care of herself
Fictional fear (for now): zombie apocalypse
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 30, 2012 11:17:21 GMT -5
Having to choose between my kids. Like our house is on fire and I only have time to save one before it crashes to the ground. Or our car going over a bridge and only having time to rescue one before the car is buried under 100ft of water. Or, miraculously getting them both out of the car but then knowing I'm not strong enough to swim to shore with both of them hanging on me so I either let one go or we all drown. That stuff seriously fucks with my brain.  I am actually glad that someone has a seriously fucked up mommy brain like I do. Please don't be offended........ I seriously think that I have a dysfunctional brain that I give this much thought to such things. |
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Oct 30, 2012 11:21:44 GMT -5
OMG- you posted this while I was typing. I can't believe someone else had the bridge thing. I have the bridge thing too. One time we were going over the Mackinaw Bridge and DH shouts "Oh MY GOD." Needless to say I didn't find the humor in my husband's "joke." |
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 30, 2012 11:26:13 GMT -5
A few years ago, a woman drove off one of the larger bridges in the area. ( I think she was texting as I remember). Anyway, DS started talking about what to do if that ever happened. DH replied " Don't worry, Mom's had it figured out for years"
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Oct 30, 2012 11:36:58 GMT -5
One constant fear I have is that my husband will die at 42 like his dad did and like his uncle did. DH turns 40 in February and I didn't realize until this weekend when we were talking about something else that he has that fear in the back of his mind too. Both his dad and uncle died in different plane crashes so he stresses out big time whenever DS or I fly anywhere without him. I am a bit of a freak and always imagine the worst if I can't reach someone on the phone. Like if DS doesn't answer his phone I worry that he fell in the shower and hit his head or something along those lines. Goddamn kid is going to be the death of me! All my panic is for nothing- he recently reminded me that he has to shut his ringer off in class and forgets to turn it back on half the time. |
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Oct 30, 2012 11:59:15 GMT -5
There was a boy in our neighborhood when DS was younger who went to bed one night with a fever and the next day couldn't walk. Permanently paralyzed from the waist down. Turns out it was some extremely rare disease that destroys muscles. He was able to get around with crutches, but was never able to walk or run normally again.
Those kinds of things, or having DS kidnapped (when he was a toddler) or in a car crash (as a teen) were probably my worst fears.
It's gotten easier now that he's 23, I figure he's too damn big to kidnap anyway. ;D
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I don't even remember when,how or why I got that fear. I just know that I did and I was scared shitless of that happening. Thank God my kids are older (and verbal! 
) now.
